Unconditional
by Gaia v
Summary: Alina Blake has always kept those around her at arms length, afraid that her friends may discover the horrific abuse she suffers at home. But keeping Sirius Black out is not easy, even when you have powers that even Voldemort could only dream of.
1. Chapter One

**Unconditional**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Harry Potter world, that all belongs to JK Rowling, I can only take credit for the few OC's that make appearances in this fiction :)**

**Chapter One:**

_**It was a warm summer's night, the moon shone brightly from outside the window, casting an almost unearthly glow into her bedroom. From outside, the humming of crickets and the occasional hooting of an owl echoed into the house, like a lullaby, calming her as she closed her eyes. A creak. One creak detected from the depths of the house and her eyes flew open. The calm of her personal lullaby no longer soothed her but acted as a crescendo for the appending terror. Her heart began to race, her mouth was bone dry and her body shook completely…uncontrollably. Footsteps, soft, quiet footsteps along the oak flooring, each step hammering a nail into her chest. She scrambled up, hugging her pillow tightly to her, hoping; praying that tonight it would be different. A small click, the sound of her door being carefully opened…gently so that hardly a sound would be made. She could hear his breathing, his coarse, heavy breathing; bile rose in her throat. She closed her eyes tightly as she felt him climb onto her bed, she bit her trembling lip as she could feel his weight on top of her, crushing her chest…she couldn't breathe; surely this would suffocate her? His hands were sweaty and rough as they pulled up her nightgown. She took a deep shuddering breath, she allowed limb by limb, organ by organ, nerve by nerve to let go…and she went to a different place, a place where it wouldn't hurt. Where nothing could hurt. She went completely, and overwhelmingly numb.**_

Alina Blake sat up bolt right in bed, her heart thumping erratically in her chest, and her entire body drenched in a coat of sweat. She glanced around the room, her eyes focusing on the doorway like a hawk.

She was alone.

She let out an almost inaudible sigh of relief, and jumped violently as the silence was broken by an almost indignant sounding hoot from the corner of her bedroom.

Perhaps not alone, she contended with a small smile, if you counted her Barred Owl, Mohani; who once again was displaying an uncanny ability to seemingly read her thoughts.

With a shuddering breath, and silently counting to three, she untangled herself from her now soaking wet bed sheets, and crossed the room, opening her window and gazing out into the dusk morning, taking a moment to savour the fresh air.

_The September, morning air _she corrected herself.

And a wide grin spread across her face at the realisation.

She glanced up at the calendar on her wall, despite knowing the date, and felt the grin broaden.

_September the 1__st__._

Her favourite day of the year.

Fighting the overwhelming urge to let out a 'whoop' or some kind of cheer, she rushed to the bathroom, catching a small glimpse of herself in the hallway mirror which caused her to pause, double-take, and grimace slightly.

She had lost weight. Again.

_Polly will kill me._

The healthy glow that had scattered a few light freckles across her nose before the summer had evaporated, and her skin appeared an almost ghostly white in the dim, morning light; making her already high cheek bones, even more prominent.

'Wow' she groaned to herself, realising how far her appearance had deteriorated over the summer.

_They're bound to notice _she groaned inwardly _they always do._

She chewed on the thought for a moment, a flicker of nerves forming in her stomach, before she forced it from her mind.

It was September the 1st, and that meant one thing; Hogwarts.

* * *

When it was time to leave, Alina stuck her head around her mother's bedroom door and called a half-hearted farewell, before rushing down the rather impressive staircase, stumbling over the last few steps, and finding herself face to face with four or five men, dressed impeccably in sharp business suits.

'Lady –'

'Where's my father' she interrupted the overweight man who had made to address her, causing his mouth to hang open awkwardly, and slightly unattractively 'i-in his study, we're just waiting to go In for our meeting –'

'Thanks' she smiled stiffly, abandoning her trunk and sweeping past them, directly into her father's study.

Five minutes later, after having her wand finally returned to her and secured in her back pocket, Alina had made her way into the car and with a rush of excitement she instructed her driver to take her to Kings Cross Station.

'ALINA!'

A cry, so loud that it drew a variety of disapproving glares from many parents, sounded across platform 9 ¾ and Alina span around to see a blonde headed girl jumping madly on the spot, waving her arms furiously.

'Alli!' another cry, and she was bombarded by a rush of red hair, causing a wave of warmth spread through her entire body.

'Lily!' she grinned in recognition, embracing her friend and calling out to the blonde girl 'ALICE! Where's Polly!?'

'Here!' a quiet voice announced from behind her, and she span round to find a petite, bespeckelled brunette, as quiet as ever, with a familiar kind smile and sparkle in her intelligent eyes.

'You were a nightmare to get in contact with this summer!' Lily scolded her, with sounds of agreement from Alice and Polly.

'Sorry' Alina grinned, shrugging apologetically as they made their way onto the Hogwart's express and searched for an empty compartment.

Excited chatter ran through the entirety of the train, and once closed in their own private compartment, the four girls were no different.

Tales of their summers were being exchanged, details of holidays and news of who they had been owling.

'Me and Frank have been owling at least twice a day, maybe even more' Alice had blushed, her green eyes sparkling with excitement.

But Alina found herself sitting quietly back throughout the first part of the journey; something that she had become accustomed to over the years, as she simply enjoyed the sound of laughter around her.

She often felt Lily's eyes resting upon her, the girl was too smart for her own good sometimes, and she had accepted that her friend knew, or at least suspected, that she didn't have a happy home life. However, Lily did not pry, it was not in her nature, and it was one of the reasons why she was her best friend.

_Just friendship. No questions asked._

'And look what _i've _got!' Alice's sing-song voice rang out, her eyes narrowing wickedly at Alina as she pulled what seemed to be a Muggle magazine out from her bag.

A magazine that Alina recognized immediately, and with a yelp she dived across the compartment in an attempt to snatch it; failing miserably.

'_And among the guests at the Huntingdon Charity Ball, was of course Lady Alina Blake, 17, daughter of Lord Richard Blake, looking dazzling in an Alexander McQueen gown.' _ Alice began, grinning triumphantly '_Lady Alina was spotted dancing all night with a mystery man, hinting that she has wishes to and is perhaps ready to take a step into the British Socialite Elite…'_

'Al!' Alina groaned, covering her face 'how did you _find _that?'

'Never mind that!' Alice blushed 'why don't you tell us who _this _is?' she turned the magazine to prove her point and indicated the photo of Alina dancing with a blonde haired boy.

'It's no one' Alina snapped.

'Doesn't look like no one' Polly teased lightly, raising her eyebrows.

'It's just a family friend, there was nothing going on, they just wanted to make a ridiculous story! Now will you just leave it!'

She ignored the exchange of looks between her friends, and bit down the apology that came to her lips for snapping at them in the way she had.

'All right Alli' Lily replied in her usual steady tone, before adding; 'no need to get your knickers in a twist'

'Are they Alexander McQueen too?' Alice asked with a deadpan face, and even Alina's lips twitched at the unladylike snort that Polly let out.

* * *

An hour later, as their chatter had quietened, their carriage door swung open and a familiar face peered in.

'Are we interrupting?'

'Yes' Lily replied immediately, refusing to look at the new arrival and suddenly becoming very vested in finding something in her bag.

'Oh don't be like that Evans, I only came to say hello!' the voice announced cheerily, and Alina bit her lip at the sight of Lily's clenched jaw.

James Potter was probably the only person, in the world, perhaps even in the universe, who could get under Lily's skin. And although she truly did sympathise with her friend, she couldn't help feeling a perverse trickle of amusement at the sight of Lily's normally pale cheeks reddening and her calm demeanour crumbling.

'All right, girls?' James grinned, and Alina found herself grinning back.

'Potter' she greeted.

'Where's the other three members of your little –'

Before Alice had finished her sentence the sound of running footsteps could be heard, and James let out a yell of surprise as three bodies bundled him into the compartment.

The Calvary had arrived.

_The Marauders _Alina cringed at the name they had given themselves.

'What are y –' Lily began angrily.

'- we got Pucey' a tall, dark haired boy grinned 'warts all over his face, and even Wormtail got a shot in, gave him a streak of purple in his hair' he belted out a loud laugh and clamped his hand appreciatively on a shorter, rather stout boy's shoulder.

'Ahem' a sandy haired boy cleared his throat, indicating to his two other friends that they were in company 'hello girls'

'Hello Remus' they all chorused, earning a grin.

'Oh how did we know you'd snuck off to see Evans' the dark haired boy smirked again, raising an eyebrow at James and glancing at Lily.

Sirius Black.

Alina's blood had run cold the moment he had entered the compartment. She had barely heard a word he was saying, the blood was pumping far too loudly in her ears at the sight of him.

It was the one meeting she was dreading, the one person who she did not wish to see.

_And has he got even better looking over summer?_

Surely that wasn't possible? With his longish, black hair, that fell effortlessly just above his shoulders. His piercing grey eyes that oozed a mixture of intelligence and arrogance, and tall muscly frame, how could he possibly have improved?

But he had.

And Alina cursed herself for thinking it.

Unlike the rest of the girls in her year, and other years at that, Alina prided herself on being immune to the charms of Sirius Black. But if she was honest, and she would only be honest to herself, it was a façade.

And this fact infuriated her.

His arrogance infuriated her.

And it had resulted into an argument at the end of last year, so heated that it had ended with a particularly vicious duel and injuries on both parts.

Until then they had always gotten on well. Disregarding the bickering that they had grown accustomed to over the years, they had in fact held a rather steady friendship; until that one day.

Alina flinched at the memory, and felt the cautious gaze of Polly resting on her; telling her to behave herself.

'Hello Peter' she greeted the smaller boy, and received a slightly surprised smile from him.

'Hello Alina, good summer?'

'Not bad' she smiled.

'All right Blake?'

His voice sent a chill down her spine, and she turned to meet his gaze.

'All right Black?' she replied calmly, refusing to revert her eyes first.

'Good Summer?'

'Not bad, you?'

The exchange was perfectly civil, but the atmosphere in the compartment was powerfully charged, and the crackling of the tension almost seemed tangible.

'Not bad' he responded, his grey eyes still not wavering from hers.

'Well…erm….I just came to say hi…' James interrupted awkwardly 'So we'll see you later girls…see you later Evans' he added with a grin, grabbing Sirius' arm and leading him from the compartment.

As he reached the door, about to turn into the carriage, Sirius paused for a moment and looked back at her.

She almost drew her wand there and then.

A taunting smirk was curved onto his lips, arrogance seeping from every fibre in his body.

_Idiot._

_**Thank you for your reviews they are all so appreciated!**  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

The Sorting had had sung, the first years had been sorted, and the feast had commenced.

'Our last ever welcome feast at Hogwarts' Alice sighed, looking downcast, and Alina's heart gave a flip at the words.

'You said that about packing your trunk, getting on the train, getting on the carriages to the Castle, listening to the Sorting Hat…are you going to be doing this _all _year, Al?' Lily asked.

'She'll be doing this all year' Polly confirmed, as Alice just looked around the room with a tragic expression.

A shrill laugh interrupted their conversation, and Alina felt herself automatically flinch at the sound.

_Like knives on a chalk board._

Perhaps she had been too kind when she had thought that Sirius was the only person she had been dreading seeing upon her return to Hogwarts, for the mere sound of Sophie Steel's laugh immediately irritated her.

She glanced down the table, and sure enough, three people down, hanging off of Sirius Black's arm, was the familiar curly brown hair and dark green eyes of Sophie Steel.

'It looks like Sirius is her victim this term' Polly observed, throwing Alina a sideways glance, of which she chose to ignore.

'Good luck to him' she muttered nonchalantly 'wasn't it James last term?'

'Even _she's_ got fed up of Potter' Lily smirked.

'Nope, apparently they got together at the Christmas Ball last year' Alice informed her through a mouthful of potatoes 'and he ditched her shortly after…I think she was seeing Mark Dermett around the same time anyway'

'Like mother like daughter' Polly remarked, referring to the notorious Katrina Steel, infamous for her marriages and subsequent divorces to rich men.

Lily made no reply, but Alina noticed a slight tinge of colour to her cheeks, and noted the unnecessarily vicious way she stabbed the carrot on her plate with her fork.

* * *

'I'm _so _full' Alina groaned.

'Then stop eating!' Polly told her, sounding exasperated.

Alina grinned at the motherly tone she had grown accustomed to hearing in Polly's voice.

'But it is _so _good!' she moaned, gazing lovingly down to the apple crumble and custard in her bowl.

'Oh for goodness sake Alli, anyone would think you didn't get fed over the summer.' Polly sighed.

Alina's predicament was solved by the movement from the front of the hall, as Dumbledore stood to address them.

'Welcome!' he beamed around the room, his twinkling eyes seeming to meet every student's gaze before him 'that is, welcome to all those who are new to Hogwarts! And welcome back to the many familiar faces that I can see! As always, there are a few notices that must be given, but before I do so I have the pleasure of introducing a new student that will be joining us, in the seventh year.'

A flurry of whispers swept through the great hall. Heads were turning; pupils were kneeling out of their seats in an attempt to spot the new student.

'There hasn't been a new student in…well…in _forever!'_ Alice whispered excitedly.

'I wonder if it's a boy or a girl!' Lily added.

'I hope she's fit!' Sirius announced in a voice too loud for a whisper, earning a few chuckles.

'Yes, yes, it is all very exciting' Dumbledore continued, bringing the whispering to a standstill 'it is not often we get to welcome new students in this fashion, so I hope you all make our new member very welcome; Marcus De'Valle has been sorted into Slytherin and I am sure he will be very happy there.'

Slytherin table erupted into a loud cheer and round of applause, and all around comments and opinions were being voiced.

Eventually, Dumbledore continued in informing the students of the usual notices.

But not a word was heard by Alina. Instead she sat dumbfounded, her mouth slightly agape, her heart racing and her mind in whirl.

_Surely not. Surely not._

'Alli? Are you all right?'

'Please no, please no, please no' she whispered out loud, praying for this to be a massive coincidence as she knelt up on the bench and frantically scanned the Slytherin table; until with a gut wrenching disappointment, her eyes connected with his.

He was staring directly at her, utterly expressionless, but his eyes as cold as always.

'Alli?' Lily's voice dragged Alina from her stupor, and she turned away to meet the concerned green orbs.

'Sorry' she felt herself grin lightly 'shall we go up to the Common room?'

'Well I sort of need to go and meet McGonnagall about Head duties…but are you sure you're all right? Who were you looking for?'

Alina grimaced in response as they left the Great Hall.

She knew that they would all know eventually, there was no way on earth Alice wouldn't recognise him, so there was no point delaying the inevitable.

'Well, you see…Marcus De'Valle is sort of –'

'Lady Alina?'

Alina closed her eyes slowly, almost calmly, as she told herself serenely that those words had not just been uttered from behind her.

But the loud sniggers that sounded from a few feet away, and Sirius Black's delighted cry of 'please tell me this isn't a joke, even if it is, just please tell me it isn't.' was enough to pop the bubble she had tried to create.

Counting to ten, Alina turned to the source of the voice.

Marcus De'Valle, all blonde hair and dark eyes, was standing directly before her.

'It's a pleasure to see you again, Lady Alina' he continued, acting oblivious to her mortification.

_Oblivious my arse._

'It's Alina. _Just _Alina' she told him in a cold tone, and watched as his friendly mask washed away and revealed a far darker expression.

His eyes regarded her with a cool, calculating glare and she stared back at him blankly, revealing no emotion.

'It was so nice to spend time with you and your family this summer, the Huntingdon Ball was most enjoyable –'

'What are you doing here Marcus?' she demanded impatiently.

'Oh didn't your father tell you? We were only shooting with him last weekend when we told him the news. My father felt it would be best for me to finish my final year here at Hogwarts rather than Durmstrang…'

'No my father didn't tell me. I would have thought you'd be more _suited _at Durmstrang' she shrugged 'anyway, I have to go. See you' she dismissed him, her tone bored but she could not help the slight tremble of anger in her hands.

She just knew her father had to have something to do with his being here.

'See you around…_Alina' _

She chose not to acknowledge the malice in his tone, and instead she stomped off in the direction of the Gryffindor common room.

'Coming?' she turned to ask her friends, who were all still gaping at the exchange, all looking equally baffled.

'Alina what was that abou –' Lily began, before shaking her head 'I don't have time…I'll talk to you later! This shouldn't take too long' she called as she made her way in the opposite direction to them.

* * *

'So what _was _that about? Polly continued, as they climbed the remaining stairs to the common room.

'I _knew _I recognised him!' Alice's excited yell, causing a few second years to jump in alarm, sounded from a few feet behind them, and she quickly caught up waving her magazine madly in the air.

'He's the mystery man!' she grinned, although the expression was short lived as an obnoxious voice interrupted them.

'What mystery man?'

'Don't start Black' she warned through gritted teeth, turning to face Sirius.

Alina flinched at the painfully frantic movement from Alice to conceal the magazine she was holding, she knew what would happen before it even occurred…

'Accio Magazine' Sirius drawled, and in a second the magazine was out of Alice's clutch and straight into his hands.

They all watched, with a moment of utter stillness, as Sirius scanned the article. His eyes widening, a slight frown beginning to crease his forehead, before his gaze returned back to them all, filled with nothing less than complete glee.

'Oh now _Lady Alina!' _he mocked 'all grown up and ready to join the social _elite_ now are you?'

'Shut it Black' Alina growled, her fingers beginning to burn with a strange electric like tingle.

'Oh I _am _sorry my _Lady!' _he continued, his eyes sparkling with a glint of pleasure at her obvious irritation.

_Why is he doing this _she mentally hissed _after what happened last year, why would he start commenting on this topic again…._

As if reading her mind, Remus stepped forward, the glimmer of amusement no longer present in his eyes.

'Come on Padfoot, let's go to the common room –'

'Oh come off it Moony, it's all a joke, right?' he brushed his friend off, and directed the question at Alina, grinning wickedly 'If Blake can't handle a _joke –'_

'It wasn't a very funny joke at the end of last year' Remus reminded his friend calmly, although making no further effort to hinder him.

'Or is it because we're just not socially _elite _enough to be talking to her, is that right?' he let out a wolfish laugh, and to Alina's utter rage she heard the high pitched giggle of Sophie Steel from amongst the gathering crowd of students.

_DeJa Vu._

'Isn't it _your _family that are all about being socially _elite_, Black?' she found herself taunting, and a triumphant smirk tugged at her lips as she saw the arrogance falter on his expression and instead a dark look of rage replace it.

'I'm sure you feel disgusted at having to hold a _Muggle _magazine don't you?' she continued, before realising perhaps she had tested his patience too far.

Sirius Black was known for his temper.

Her stomach did a flip as before she even had a moment to consider drawing her own, she found herself staring down her nose at the tip of Sirius' wand.

'You wouldn't _dare' _she spat.

'Sirius!' Remus warned, but was completely ignored.

'_Try me'_ Sirius growled, his eyes alight with something that she couldn't quite place.

There was a moment of fear as she watched his mouth open to form a spell, and the tingling in her fingers spread like a flood throughout her entire body.

_Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it._ She silently begged, knowing from the taunting expression that it would do no use.

'Vexfacio!'

_No, no, no, no, no, no. _

An orange light shot from his wand, and the tingling in her body seemed to burn like flames.

STOP. STOP. STOP.

And it did.

Midway through the air the jet of orange light froze, faltered and then evaporated, as if it had never existed.

' – Sirius Black! Alina Blake! What on _earth _do you think you are doing!' McGonagall marched towards them, completely washing away the charged atmosphere in the corridor, and the crowd of students immediately scattered.

Neither Alina nor Sirius moved a muscle at the sound of their Head of House's words. Instead, both were staring dumbfounded at one another, both silently questioning why, and how, the jet of orange light had suddenly frozen and disappeared.

How had it not connected with her? They had both seen it flying straight at her face…

'How did you –' Sirius spluttered, and Alina shook her head to indicate the lack of explanation.

'Duelling in the corridors! On the first _night _of term?'

Their silent conversation was immediately broken as McGonagall reached them, her face the epitome of anger and her voice laced with ice.

'This is utterly beyond me…this is _despicable_!' she hissed 'Not only are you giving Gryffindor a bad name, but you are seventh year students displaying outrageous behavior for those younger than you! Miss Blake after last term I did not think that I would see this type of behavior from you again…and Mr Black, well I thought you would at least show an attempt at improving your behavior. You should be setting an example!'

Alina felt sick at her head of house's rebuke. It was true, after last year she had sworn that she would not duel in that way again, particularly after the letter that had been sent home…

She shivered at the memory of her father's reaction.

And yet here she was; in the same situation, once again, with Sirius Black.

She felt ashamed, making up her mind there and then to make a conscious effort to work harder this year.

'I'm so sorry Professor, I promise It won't happen again' she replied, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment at having to be scolded at her age.

'I should think not Miss Blake' Professor McGonagall eyed her steadily, before shaking her head 'and you'll have time to consider your actions this Wednesday, in detention.'

'Detention?' Sirius groaned 'but it's the first night, couldn't you give us just _one _chance?'

'Add three zero's to the end of that number and you'll get the total of how many chances I have _already _given you over the years Mr Black' McGonagall replied archly 'you're lucky I'm not taking points away – now back to your common room and I do not want to hear about any more trouble regarding the two of you again.'

* * *

'He used to be all right! I mean I always _knew _he could be a bit of a tosser – but we always got on all right, didn't we?' Alina turned to Polly, waiting for a response.

'Well you've always argued…' she began fairly.

'Well _yes, _but that's just stupid stuff, we've always got on for the most part –'

'You're the only girl he really bothers speaking to unless he's trying to get them in a broom closet' Alice reasoned, shrugging.

'Well…yeah…I guess' Alina frowned, before continuing pacing their dormitory 'so why has he decided to become _such _a massive _arse!' _

'When he realised it got him much more attention' Polly replied, and Alina glanced at her, frowning slightly in confusion.

'What do you –'

'JAMES POTTER!'

With an almighty crash, the dormitory door flew open, connecting with the wall – revealing a red faced Lily Potter.

'JAMES BLOODY POTTER!' Lily bellowed again, still to no reply.

Her three friends were too busy staring aghast in utter shock to be able to respond.

Never, in the nearing seven years that they had known the girl, had they ever heard Lily Potter shout. Not even after the betrayal of her childhood friend…

'What the _hell _has he done?' Alina managed to choke out, shuddering as she almost seemed to physically inhale the waves of rage seeping from her friend.

'He – He – ARGH!' she stamped her foot to emphasize her point and shook her fists.

'Lily, breathe! Alina told her, crossing the room quickly and approaching the girl, something which the other two seemed unwilling to even contemplate trying.

'He's gone and – how can Dumbledore –ARGH!'

'Lily, breathe!' Alina told her again, holding either side of Lily's shoulders and forcing her to meet her gaze 'breathe' she told her again, and she could feel Lily beginning to relax slightly.

'Now, what has happened?' Alina asked, wondering what curse was going to be painful enough to place on the boy.

_The Cruiatus probably _she thought inwardly, judging by how bad it must have been to get Lily into such a state.

'_James Potter' _she spat 'is Head Boy.'

Silence.

Silence filled the room, as Alina, and she was sure both Polly and Alice, blinked expectantly at their friend, waiting for her to assure them that she was joking, and give them the real reason for her anger.

But a few seconds past, and Lily's expression of utter outrage had not faded.

'Y-You're not being serious, right?' Alice questioned, for once sounding slightly out of words.

'Of course I'm being serious!' Lily hissed.

'Lily…_that's _what has gotten you so angry?' Polly asked, aiming for clarification.

'Of course!'

'But why?' Alina finally asked the question they were all wondering.

'I have no idea, he's spent the last six years taunting other students, getting into trouble, having detention and spending no time _at all _in the Library –' Lily began to rant.

'-no Lil' Alina quickly interrupted, having heard the 'James Potter Speech' too many times before 'I meant, _why are you so angry?' _

Lily froze, her mouth open in the perfect 'o' before slowly crossing the room and sitting on her bed.

'Because _I've _worked for Head Girl…and he hasn't worked for anything. He never works for anything. He's just arrogant…and stupid.'

Alina had to supress the grin at how childish Lily's final words sounded and instead tried to change the subject.

'Well if it's any consolation, you get to give me a lecture now' she informed her lightly.

'Huh? Why?' Lily asked.

'Because I got detention.'

* * *

'I just don't understand why we have to have lessons with the sodding _Snakes' _James Potter grumbled loudly, and Alina couldn't help but agree with him.

It was their final lesson of the day, and unfortunately Defence Against the Dark Arts was shared with Slytherin.

Alina sat between Polly and Lily, both of whom were busy arranging their desks with an assortment of quills, parchment and text books.

'That book wasn't even on our reading list!' Alina groaned, staring baffled at Lily who blushed in response.

'It was just a bit of extra reading to help ease into the course this year' she replied 'in case you didn't know, we _do _have NEWTS' she added tartly.

Alina opened her mouth to form a sarcastic remark but was interrupted by the arrival of Professor Blyton, a rather overweight, middle-aged man, with curly grey hair and the scent of gingerbread.

'Good afternoon class!' he greeted, in a matter of fact tone 'This year will comprise of a variety of topics. You will be set written tasks, there will be an intense reading list – of which is essential to complete, and your defensive skills shall be tested through practical examination.'

Alina briefly wondered what part of this speech required being written down as she glanced either side of her at her two friends, both scribbling manically.

'Today, however, being your first lesson. I thought we could begin with the practical element –'Professor Blyton's words were drowned out slightly by the buzz of excitement that tremorred through the classroom.

'-Yes, yes, I appreciate that this is very exciting' Professor Blyton hushed them, his tone laced with boredom 'in pairs, you will each demonstrate a duel before the rest of your peers. Needless to say, dark magic is strictly forbidden, you must follow the correct duelling procedures as set down by the Dueling Act 1547 –'

'Oh for _Goodness sake.' _Alina huffed quietly, and Lily spared her a sympathetic glance, before turning her attention back to Professor Blyton.

Whilst a perfectly good teacher, this was one aspect that teachers seemed intent on adopting and that Alina could never forgive them for; their preferred system of alphabetic pairing.

'_Albert Bright and Dexter Baines ….Gina Cable and William Crestley …'_

Alina held her breath, waiting for the inevitable.

'Sirius Black and…oh yes, wait one moment –'

Alina jerked her head up, and to her left she caught Sirius doing the same.

'It has been suggested by your Head of House that you two should not work together for this task' he stated blandly, eyeing the two of them.

_I don't have to work with him _she sighed with relief, knowing that the duel between them would have grown far too heated for the classroom.

'Sirius Black and Cecilia O'Mahoney….Alina Blake and Marcus De'Valle –'

'_What?'_

The word had left her lips before she had a chance to stop herself, and Proffessor Blyton froze mid-speech and slowly glanced up at her.

'Is there a problem, Miss Blake?' he asked archly.

Alina clenched her teeth.

'No Proffessor, sorry –'

Professor Blyton continued addressing the class, and Alina turned to meet Marcus' gaze with a cold glare.

As his icy pupils met her own she flinched as she thought back to the previous summer.

_She had been dreading that evening. The Huntington Ball; Blake Manor's highest social event of the summer. _

_Her mother had shown a strange display of activity, hustling and bustling throughout the Manor to ensure that everything was in place – there were far too many Muggle's around for the use of their House Elf._

_Her father had been locked away, as usual, in his study._

_And Alina, had spent the day being primped, pampered, and a variety of other 'girly' things that were only ever enjoyable when shared with a friend._

_Nevertheless, just like her mother, Alina had not shirked her responsibilities and by seven pm was making her way throughout the large room, mingling with their guests, a smile plastered on her face and laughing merrily at jokes that held no humour._

_It wasn't until she was introduced to her father's business partner, and his family, that her night so drastically improved._

_Marcus' good looks had not been lost on her, his tall frame and piercing onyx eyes held an elegant air and she had felt her stomach tighten in knots as he smiled warmly at her, taking her hand; his eyes never leaving hers._

_He had been quiet, yet friendly. He had made her laugh as he mocked the other guests and made her blush as he asked her to dance._

_In essence, she had felt an attraction towards him that she had not felt for anyone before, other than Sirius Black._

'_There aren't any girls like you at Durmstrang' he had breathed quietly, and she had widened her eyes in surprise as she realised that he was a wizard 'you better Owl me, this summer'_

_She had immediately agreed._

'Marcus and Alina!'

Professor Blyton's voice broke her from her memories, and she blinked in surprise, realising that Sirius Black had completely destroyed his partner, and it was now her turn to duel.

Pressing her lips together in a grim line, she made her way to the front of the classroom and turned to face her opponent.

Their eyes locked, and very slowly they bowed to one another, both barely curving their spines.

A sadistic glint exuded from his pupils, and a freezing blade sliced through her stomach as she recalled seeing that same expression on his face once before.

_Her father had come early that night, it was barely evening and he had slipped into her room._

_Her mother hadn't even turned off her light._

_The shock of his appearance alone had made it one of the worst experiences of her summer, she had found herself unable to lock away her emotions, unable to extract her conscious away from what he was doing to her._

_The darkness had engulfed her and she had had to live through every second._

_Three hours later she had still been trembling, her breath had still been catching and her chest had felt tight. _

_She would not sleep for hours, she had known that instantly, so instead she had climbed out of bed and slipped out into the hallway._

_Blinky, her house elf, would be more than happy to provide her with some hot chocolate and perhaps even some biscuits._

_She had heard the voices just as she had reached the bottom of the staircase._

_Had it just been her father she would not have even considered it, but there were two others with him, so very slowly, she crept towards the slightly ajar door; curiosity getting the best of her._

_She barely dared to breathe as she peeked into the lit study, and managed to mask her surprised gasp at the sight of Marcus and his father._

'_If she is like her mother she'd be the perfect choice' Mr De'Valle stated 'but we have seen no proof.'_

'_She has taken after her mother in every other way' she heard her father respond 'she looks almost identical to her when she was her age.'_

'_Her beauty is undeniable' Mr De'Valle reasoned 'but it is her power that we must be certain about.'_

'_I will not be betrothed to a half-blood unless I am certain that she possesses the power of –'_

_Alina had felt sick at the disgust in Marcus' voice, and even more so at his words…betrothed?_

'_I may not be a person of magic, but I have high influence in my world…influence that has already proved invaluable to your master –'_

'_Do not try and pretend that you hold any importance here, De'Valle. Your position does little more than keep you alive.' Mr De' Valle remarked in a bored tone._

'_I am a pureblooded wizard, Richard.' Marcus had added coldly, glaring at the man before him 'If I am going to marry someone with dirty blood I want insurance that –'_

'_You don't have to worry about marrying someone with 'dirty blood.' I would rather marry a House Elf than you!'_

_She had been unable to prevent herself. Her temper had flared and a rush of burning energy had erupted in the core of her chest. They had all turned in shock to stare at her as the door had burst open. _

_She had received the worst beating of her life that night._

'Three…two….one….Duel.'

_**What did you think? Please let me know, your reviews really keep me going!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

'_Excellent!' _Professor Blyton boomed loudly, breaking the awed silence that had wrapped itself around every member of the class.

Alina shook her head in acknowledgement of his praise, but was unable to form words as the room span ominously around her. She brought her hand to her mouth and flinched at the tenderness, taking note of the blood that had wiped onto her fingers.

Apart from the bleeding lip, and rather unsteady legs as an after-effect from the Jelly-Leg curse, she was relatively untouched.

Happily, she could not say the same for Marcus, who at that moment was being supported by two Slytherins; his face a greyish-green and his eyes extremely unfocused.

'Please escort Mr De'Valle to the Medical Wing' Professor Blyton instructed the two boys, and Alina smirked to herself as she made her way back to her desk.

She didn't make eye contact with anyone else in the room, despite feeling all of their eyes trained on her. Instead she kept her gaze fixed intently on the desk.

'Wow, Alli! That was amazing!' Alice gushed in a loud whisper from a few desks away.

'You know, you shouldn't have used a few of those spells though' Lily told her disapprovingly 'a few of them were very near the mark.'

'Oh come on Lil, Blyton didn't say anything so it's fine!' Alina replied.

Lily didn't reply, but pursed her lips instead.

'Don't give me that look' Alina sighed wearily.

Thankfully, Lily was called up for her duel, preventing her from responding.

For the remainder of the lesson Alina stayed quiet. And as time continued, her classmates ' attention was distracted away from her.

Except one.

One pair of eyes she could feel burning into the side of her face, making a hot flush creep up her neck and her feet curl with restlessness.

By the time they were dismissed, Alina's discomfort had grown almost unbearable, and she practically leaped from her desk the second they were allowed to go.

In the shadow of her wake, Sirius Black remained seated.

His grey eyes still staring after her.

* * *

'I _can't _deal with him! I just _cannot _deal with him!' Lily's frustrated voice broke the otherwise peaceful setting of the common room as she threw her bag onto the floor and herself into an armchair.

'What's he done now?' Polly asked in a monotonous voice, merely speaking out of duty rather than interest.

Lily's complaints over James Potter had grown boring back in third year, and due to the dramatic increase of them since he had become Head Boy they had reached the point of tedium.

'Dumbledore has asked us to arrange the Christmas Ball, and he's just being so _bloody _opinionated about it! I've suggested the colour theme and he's refusing! How pigheadedly stubborn can someone be?' she gazed at them imploringly.

'Wait…so let me get this right…you're angry because Potter is actually taking his duties seriously?' Alina blinked.

'Well…no, of course that's not…I'm angry because…well he's so…so…'

'- it's because she's not getting her own way' Polly remarked, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

'It is not!' Lily snapped.

'And she's scared that Potter doesn't _love _her anymore' Alina grinned.

'Shut up' Lily retorted angrily, before her expression changed to one of glee 'anyway, haven't you got somewhere to be?' she asked Alina.

'_Huh?' _

'Well I thought you had a nice, romantic detention to go to with Sirius…'

Immediately Alina's grin faded, replaced with a dark scowl, she jumped to her feet and grabbed her bag from the floor.

'I'll see you later' she muttered, giving Lily a glare in response to the smug expression she was getting.

'OI BLACK, COME ON!' she yelled as she made her way across the common room.

'I knew she couldn't resist me' she heard him announce cockily from somewhere behind her.

'You wish' she called, before climbing out of the portrait and making her way hurriedly to the dungeons.

* * *

'I would say that it is nice to see you both, but I feel that would be rather inappropriate under the circumstances' Slughorn chuckled, and Alina smiled politely in response 'now, Professor McGonagall has requested that this detention should entail strictly no magic, so please hand me your wands now and they shall be returned at the end of the evening'

Alina allowed herself a quick glance at Sirius and the darkening of his pupils and clenching of his jaw told her that he was just as reluctant to part with his wand as she was.

'Now, now, no need to look quite so glum yet, you haven't even heard what shall be required of you this evening!' Slughorn once again chuckled at himself, this time Alina couldn't force her grim expression into a smile.

'As you can see, the dungeon has acquired rather a large amount of filth over the years' Slughorn indicated the floor, and Alina closed her eyes as her mind reluctantly predicted what their detention would be 'this evening you shall both clean the dungeon. I will be in my office should you need me and will return when your time is up…Mr Black' Slughorn turned to Sirius 'I do not want you to give me reason for returning any earlier, so _behave yourself.'_

Slughorn held his gaze steadily on Sirius for a moment, before flashing them both a merry smile and leaving the room, quietly humming to himself as he went.

The second the door had closed, with a loud slam, Alina became suddenly very aware that both she and Sirius were very much alone.

The room became suddenly very silent, and the air around her suddenly felt extremely hot and thick as it pressed down on her.

'I've never noticed how disgusting these dungeons are' she broke the silence, her voice sounding alien to her.

'It's probably because you're used to it being full of Slytherins…doesn't seem quite so disgusting in comparison' Sirius remarked, earning a twitch of Alina's lips.

'Why don't the House Elves –'she began, but Sirius cut her off.

'- something about the fumes down here, I think. Apparently the Elf's can get high from them' he shook his head and grinned 'I wonder if mine has spent a bit of time down here...it would explain a lot'

'Right, well we better get started' she announced, picking up one of the mops that had been left out for them and starting to clean the floor.

After a couple of seconds, she glared up at Sirius who was sitting lazily on Slughorn's desk, smirking at her.

'Well are you _going _to help?' she demanded, putting her hand on her hip expectantly.

'Not if you're doing it like that' he replied nonchalantly, chuckling lightly as her expression darkened.

'Well how else do you expect us to do it, Black?' she snapped 'in case you didn't _hear _it's a non-magical detention.'

'Oh Blake, I never knew you were so _boring.' _Black grinned arrogantly at her, as he rather gracefully sprung off of the desk and sauntered over to the book shelf in the corner, pausing to apparently scan the shelves.

'I am _not _boring!' she replied indignantly, feeling the familiar flickering of rage in her stomach that apparently only Sirius knew how to form.

'Looks like Evan's is rubbing off on you' he remarked as he pulled a book off of the shelf.

'She is _not! _And Lily's not boring anyway!' Alina snapped again, causing Sirius to merely raise an amused eyebrow at her.

'_What _are you doing with that book?' she finally demanded, trying to fight the irritation that he seemed to raise in her.

'Well, Blake. Slughorn specifically said not to use _magic' _he spoke slowly as if addressing a small child.

'Your point being?' she asked through gritted teeth.

'My point _being…_he didn't say anything about not using a potion.' he finished, flashing her a lopsided grin, and she merely stared at him for a moment as his words sunk in.

She couldn't prevent the amused grin that infectiously spread across her face, and the flash in her eyes that immediately told him that she had no objections.

'_Mrs Cleverly's Magical Guide to House Hold Cleaning' _he informed her, waving the book in front of her face 'now if you'd kindly find me a medium sized cauldron?'

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they had added the final ingredients and a rather delicious smell was exuding from the boiling cauldron.

'One more stir, clockwise…aaaand done!' Sirius announced, taking a deep whiff of the potion 'smells good'

'Like strawberries' Alina smiled 'I _love _strawberries' she added as she soaked up in the scent.

Sirius stared at her for a moment, with an expression that Alina couldn't quite read, before shrugging.

'Guess that explains the colour' he noted, indicating the startling pink of the potion.

'Now, we just need to figure out how much we need to use…' Alina began, scanning the pages of the book.

Sirius let out a loud cough and splutter, which sounded suspiciously like 'boring.'

'_What?' _she demanded, narrowing her eyes at the boy.

'I said…Stop. Being. Boring!' he replied, and then with a movement so fast that there was nothing that she could do to prevent it, Sirius grabbed the cauldron and tipped the entire contents onto the floor of the dungeon.

'SIRIUS!' Alina yelled, and received a bark of laughter in response.

'Live a little, Blake!' he cried, and his face was so alight with humor that she could not help shaking her head and letting out an exasperated chuckle.

The laughter, however, was short lived.

As the potion spread across the entire room, coating the previously black and dirt sodden floor with a florescent pink that seemed utterly out of place in the gloomy dungeon, strange popping noises began sprouting from random areas.

Turning to find the source of the noise, Alina realised that with each 'pop' a baby pink bubble appeared from the potion. The 'popping' sounds gradually grew more frequent, filling the once silent dungeon with a constant rampage of noise, growing in a crescendo until it sounded as if they were under a blitz of fire.

'Black…' Alina began, as she realised that the floor was now entirely covered with the pink bubbles.

'Shit' Sirius muttered nervously, and Alina soon realised the source of his discomfort; the bubbles were expanding. Fast.

Within a matter of seconds the bubbles were reaching their waists, and showing no signs of slowing in growth.

'BLACK! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU IDIOT!' Alina yelled, alarm taking over any amusement and the pink bubbles no longer holding any appeal.

'What? This is your fault too!' Sirius cried back.

The formation of words was no longer plausible within Alina's mind. She stared for a moment, as the bubbles grew higher and higher, fully appreciating that once again Sirius Black was throwing her into his constant shadow of trouble.

'I. Am. Going. To. KILL YOU!' she screamed, launching herself towards the boy.

She saw his eyes widen with alarm, and raise his arms protectively to cover his face.

She felt a moment of satisfaction as she saw him cowering, before her foot slipped and with a cry of shock she skidded at an incredibly fast speed and collided painfully with Sirius.

The next thing she saw was the floor.

And bubbles.

A sea full of pink bubbles, that thankfully she could breathe beneath, engulfed her.

'Alina? ALLI?' the worried voice of Sirius Black echoed from somewhere above her.

_Wait, did he just call me –'_

Her thoughts were abruptly cut off by two strong arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her upwards.

'Are you all right?' Sirius asked her, in a strangely soft voice.

It took Alina a second to respond, as she readjusted to her surroundings and found herself soaking wet, held tightly in Sirius' arms.

She blinked.

She took in his concern, and then the frame of bubbles which were now reaching his shoulders.

And then she laughed.

A loud explosion of genuine laughter, that firstly seemed to surprise Sirius, before he threw his head back, letting out his familiar wolfish laughter.

'McGonagall – Is- Going – To – Kill – Us!' Alina managed to choke out between breaths.

'NO – MAGIC' was all Sirius managed to add, before they dissolved further into a fit of giggles.

It was only when, with a loud 'pop', the bubbles expanded further and covered Alina's head that their laughter ceased.

'Come on, Blake. Let's sort this mess out' Sirius', far more sobered voice announced, reaching out and taking her hand in his.

The sensation of being led blindly by Sirius made her feel uncomfortable, she slowly shuffled forwards and clenched her jaw as she swallowed down any objections that she held.

'The bubbles are nearly covering my head now' Sirius told her grimly.

'Hurry up and get the book then!' she yelled back, her voice sounding strangely echoed beneath the bubbles.

'I know, I know' she heard him mutter 'wish I had my wand – aha!'

'That better be a good aha?'

'Blake, you wouldn't believe how to get rid of the bubbles!' he laughed.

'How?'

CRACK!

Instead of a reply, the sound erupted around her, and Alina let out a scream as all of the bubbles suddenly disappeared.

'What the –'she began.

'Water!' Sirius grinned down at her 'you just needed to add water!'

'You have to be kidding me' Alina laughed, utterly bewildered.

* * *

Ten minutes later, they were sitting on the (very clean) floor of the dungeon, leaning their backs on Slughorn's desk.

'I can't believe that only took an hour – it felt like forever!' Alina said.

'I know' Sirius shook his head in bemusement 'we've still got another hour left.'

They fell into an uncomfortable silence, both suddenly feeling incredibly awkward and Alina blushed at the memory of how close Sirius had held her, and the feeling of her hand in his.

_Stop it _she told herself _stop being so ridiculous._

'We're all right, aren't we Blake?' Sirius asked her, out of the blue, and Alina turned to him in surprise.

'What d'you mean, all right?' she asked, wanting to clarify his meaning.

'Like…we're mates, aren't we?'

Alina frowned with confusion. She had always thought they'd got on quite well, that to a degree they were friends, but the over the last year she had grown to accept the turbulence in their relationship.

'Well I thought we were, I guess. But after last year…' she trailed off.

'Yeah, about that…' Sirius began.

Alina stared at him curiously; she had never seen him acting so uncomfortably, he was usually so sure of himself.

'…what I said about your family. I shouldn't have said that' his jaw was tight, and he stared deliberately ahead of him.

'I shouldn't have said what I did about your family either.' Alina replied after a pause, not looking at him.

'I shouldn't start arguments with you. I do know that' he told her 'But we used to talk a lot in lessons, but then we didn't anymore – we just argued. We only ever really talk if we argue, so -'

'- so you argue with me?' Alina asked, thinking what a strange person Sirius Black was 'why didn't you just start a conversation with me?'

'Why didn't you start one with me?' he shot back defensively and she raised her eyebrows at him.

'Because you prefer flirting with girls rather than being their mates, Black' Alina told him patiently.

They fell quiet for a moment.

'I'm not good at making friends' he shrugged 'I've got the Marauders, I can get most girls here, but –'

'Oh as if' she snorted, the idea of Sirius Black, one of the most popular boys in their year, unable to make friends seeming utterly ridiculous.

'No, Blake, I'm being deadly serious!'

'I'm not even rising to that pun, it will only give you satisfaction.'

'Your acknowledgement of it alone is enough to satisfy me' he grinned at her, and she scowled back 'but really, if it wasn't for Prongs, I wouldn't bother speaking to half of the people that I do. I probably would never have spoken to them in the first place'

She paused in thought, it was true that James was far more forthcoming that Sirius; whose aura exuded arrogance and often disinterest.

'Can I ask you a question?' she replied.

'You just did' he grinned annoyingly at her, but nodded for her to continue.

'What's with all of the nicknames?'

Sirius regarded her for a moment, a slow smile playing on his lips.

'Marauder business' he told her, and did not elaborate any further.

'You know after all of this, we're managing to have a normal conversation? If you'd tried this in the first place it would have saved us all of those arguments –'

'You've got a point, Blake' he nodded, before turning to meet her gaze and his lopsided grin illuminating his good looks 'but that wouldn't have been half as fun would it.'

As they both reached the common room, they both paused for a moment.

'Mates?' Sirius asked.

'For now.' she replied, flashing him a quick grin, before climbing through the portrait.

She felt Sirius pause for a second behind her, before scrambling quickly after her.

'Oi, Blake –'he began, but his words came to a halt as his eyes rested upon the sight that had currently stopped Alina in her tracks.

Lily Evans and James Potter, both rather cosily sitting together, their heads bent over a pile of paper as they chatted quietly.

'Am I imagining this? Did the fumes go to my head?' Sirius whispered.

'Unless we're both house elves, the fumes did nothing to us and this is definitely real' she muttered back, her eyes widening with glee as she watched Lily laugh quietly at something James had said and raise her eyes to catch her watching.

'Alli!' she squeaked, her voice layered with guilt.

'Good night, Lil?' Alina asked casually, and noted the faint blush that crept up her friend's neck.

'We're trying to get some planning done for the Christmas Ball' Lily informed her defiantly, and Alina decided not to embarrass her friend any further.

'That's good' she replied simply, and Lily looked visibly relieved.

'Shall we go to bed?' Lily suggested, and Alina nodded, glancing over her shoulder and flashing Sirius a quick grin as she went.

'Alli?' Lily asked, as they began their climb up the dormitory stairs 'why are you soaking wet?'

* * *

That night, Alina climbed into her four poster bed, and drew the surrounding curtains tightly shut.

She paused for a moment, checking that she wouldn't be disturbed, before pulling out her wand and casting the familiar silencing charms around her bed.

She had learnt many years ago that aside from taking countless dreamless sleep potions, there was little she could do to prevent the onslaught of nightmares that sleep brought to her each night.

She had learnt even earlier that avoiding sleep was pointless, eventually it would come and so would the nightmares.

So instead, she had found the only way to keep the nightmares from her roommates.

'Muffliato' she whispered, finishing with the newest spell that Lily had informed her of, before closing her eyes and allowing sleep to cradle her in its arms.

_**It was a warm summer's night, the moon shone brightly from outside the window, casting an almost unearthly glow into her bedroom. From outside, the humming of crickets and the occasional hooting of an owl echoed into the house, like a lullaby, calming her as she closed her eyes. A creak. One creak detected from the depths of the house and her eyes flew open. The calm of her personal lullaby no longer soothed her but acted as a crescendo for the appending terror. Her heart began to race, her mouth was bone dry and her body shook completely…uncontrollably. Footsteps, soft, quiet footsteps along the oak flooring, each step hammering a nail into her chest. She scrambled up, hugging her pillow tightly to her, hoping; praying that tonight it would be different…**_

Her own screams awoke her the first time; her throat was bone dry and her face wet with tears. She caught her breath, telling herself over and over to relax.

_It's only a dream…only a dream…_

But the problem was that it wasn't just a dream.

_Go back to sleep…just a dream…only a dream…._

_**She was alone in her room. She was nervous. Taking a deep breath she walked across her bedroom and opened her wardrobe, and was met by a flurry of pink bubbles tumbling out onto her. The bubbles expanded, taking up the entire room. She wanted to run, she needed to get away from the bubbles. She made her way to her door, and froze in terror. Blocking the exit was the large, sneering frame of her father. She screamed, crying out for help, but she knew there was nobody there. She stumbled backwards, praying that somebody would help her, when a strong pair of arms wrapped around her. She struggled, opening her mouth to once again cry out for help, but the arms turned her around, so that she was forced to face her captor.**_

_**She waited for the familiar face of her father, she waited for the horror that would undoubtedly come. But instead, her blue eyes met with stormy grey. Her breath caught in her throat, and she stared in wonder as he pulled her closer. Her breath caught as he bent his head and his lips met her own….**_

Alina woke up panting. Her sheets were contorted awkwardly around her body, drenched with sweat.

She swallowed, a thick lump caught in her throat.

_What the hell was that?_

She let out a shuddering breath.

_That _was Sirius Black.

And she did not feel that way about Sirius Black.

Did she?

_**You're all amazing! Thank you for your reviews! They make my day!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

'Alli? You up?'

Alina flinched at the sound of Alice's cheery tone, and counted to ten before she forced herself to rise and open her curtains.

After one of the worst nights sleeps she had suffered from in a long time, her mood had steadily darkened in correlation to the rising sun.

With a grunt to her friend, she climbed out of the bed, and stormed into the bathroom, leaving three bemused girls staring behind her.

'What's got into her this morning?' Polly wondered aloud, and Alice frowned, still feeling rather stung by the lack of response she had gotten.

'Who knows' Lily replied quietly, although her emerald eyes remained fixed on the closed door, thousands of questions running through her mind.

It still frustrated her, as one of the most intelligent pupils in her year, that she could answer any question in Arithmacy, perfectly brew any potion asked of her or cast any defensive spell she was taught, yet was still unable to solve the mystery that was her best friend.

Over the years she had managed to draw small amounts of information from Alina, she knew that she had a House-Elf whom she adored, that she was a half-blood and had had a very privileged upbringing, but the more she tried to press for, the more Alina closed up.

And on mornings such as these, where she awoke in such terrible moods, it was more frustrating to Lily than ever.

'Alli –'Polly began, as the bathroom door opened and Alina once again appeared, but her words were cut off immediately.

'Going to breakfast' Alina muttered, and marched from the dormitory, leaving a wave of icy coldness behind her.

'Well today should be fun' Lily remarked wryly, her eyebrows raised.

* * *

They did not know what had occurred in the space of Alina leaving, and their joining her at the breakfast table, but the generous space of empty seats either side of her told them that the other Gryffindor's had been made more than aware of Alina's horrible mood.

Shaking her head incredulously, wondering for the millionth time how someone whose company was so often enjoyable, could be so utterly foul sometimes, Lily quietly took her place beside her and reached for a slice of toast.

Alina didn't react to their presence, instead she remained focused on demolishing the very generous portion of food she had piled upon her plate.

'Slow down Alli, your breakfast isn't going anywhere, you _can_ take the time to chew your food' Remus' voice announced brightly as he slid into a seat opposite them, and frowned innocently in reaction to the sharp warning jab he received from Polly.

It was too late.

Alina's eyes had shot upwards and she glared darkly at the fair haired boy in front of her.

'With compliments like that it's unbelievable that you don't have girls throwing themselves at you Remus!' she growled sarcastically.

'Alli, I didn't mean –'

'- because girls just _love _it when you comment on their eating habits, it just makes us feel _wonderful' _she continued relentlessly, completely ignorant to Remus' paling face and deepening frown of concern.

'I didn't mean….I didn't think –'

'- that's just it, you _didn't _think did you!' she snapped 'for someone so clever, you wouldn't think you'd act so stupidly!' she barked.

'Alli!' Polly warned, her voice sharp.

Alina's eyes flickered from Remus to her friend, and then caught sight of someone quickly approaching.

'Whatever' Alina muttered, throwing down her fork with a crash and storming away from the table as quickly as she could.

'What did we miss?' Sirius asked obliviously as he reached the table, and was answered with bewildered silence.

* * *

As the day continued, Alina's mood only spiraled further into deterioration.

Her classmates, and many others had wisely kept their distance, however a few unknowing first years had, to their misfortune, managed to cross her path and only acted as the bellows to fuel the flame of wrath.

It was at this point, as Polly tried to console the crying first years, that Lily had intervened.

'Alina Blake' she had snapped, her voice low, yet drawing the right reaction.

Alina froze in place, bringing her gaze upwards to face Lily, yet not quite meeting her eyes.

'I don't know what your problem is today, but either talk to us about it or find a way to sort it out. You've got the whole House walking on egg shells' she paused for a moment, taking a step closer and lowering her voice '_and stop making first years cry.'_ She hissed.

Something flickered in Alina's blue eyes.

At first Lily thought it was anger, then perhaps rebellion, before finally placing the emotion as a faint trace of amusement.

She opened her mouth, as if to reply, but seemed to think better of it and quickly snapped her mouth shut.

'I'm going for a walk.' She finally spoke, and without another word, she turned on her heel and climbed out of the portrait.

'Don't be late for Herbology!' Lily called after her.

'What's up with Blake?' a voice questioned from behind Lily, and she turned to find Sirius.

'What's it to you, Black?' she retorted, one hand on her hip and her eyebrow raised expectantly.

'Nothing at all' Sirius shrugged nonchalantly, before sauntering over to where his friends were sitting.

Lily kept her eyes on him for a moment, a glint in her eye and an amused smirk playing on her lips as she noted how his attention kept returning to the portrait hole that Alina had just left through, concern etched on his features.

She watched for a minute, confirming her suspicions, before she felt a pair of eyes burning into her skin. Her eyes flickered slightly to the left and unintentionally met the hazel brown ones that had been observing her.

_James Potter._

She scowled as the prickly sensation of a blush crept up her neck.

* * *

_Stupid nightmares. Stupid dreams. Stupid Sirius Black and stupid first years…_

Alina's mental list of 'stupid things' had been never ending all day, with quite a few reappearances of Sirius Black and more than often, her nightmares.

She grumbled under her breath, cursing her inability for a good night of rest, and pondered over how difficult it would be to steal another stash of dreamless sleep potion.

_Lily could brew it easily _she thought to herself.

But asking Lily to make the potion would require an explanation as to why it was needed, and Alina was not willing to provide her friend with that.

A trickle of guilt ran through her veins and she bit her lip sharply as she thought back to the harsh words she had dished upon many of her friends today.

Even Alice had been on the receiving end of her sharp tongue, and being mean to Alice was like stepping on a puppy.

A dose of shame rippled in her stomach.

_It was just that there had been no other way to release her temper._

If she hadn't been so steadfastly avoiding Sirius, then she probably would have provoked a duel…

She sighed.

The corridors were emptying, signalling that she was already running late for Herbology. At a quickened pace, she changed direction and headed for the staircase.

She rushed around the corner and collided head first into a large shape.

'Ouch' she muttered, and then tensed as a sneering voice responded.

'Going somewhere, _Muckblood?'_

'What d'you want Snivillus?' she hissed in response, feeling adrenaline immediately begin pumping through her veins.

She rested her hand on her wand, warily.

'We just wanted a _quiet _word with you' a snide voice added from behind, and Alina swiveled around in alarm, drawing her wand just in time to see Marcus De'Valle flick his wand lazily towards her.

'Silencio' he smirked.

Alina tried to let out a hiss of rage, but no sound left her body. Every hair stood on end, her heart thudded almost painfully in her chest, and to her utter dismay she experienced a sensation that she had never before had to deal with within the confines of Hogwarts; fear.

She had lost the use of her vocal chords. Her mind immediately began running through possible counter spells, she was sure she had read of one somewhere…

_From now on I'll revise more_ she promised herself silently.

She narrowed her eyes, taking a few steps backwards as she regarded her opponents.

Not only was she outnumbered, but her only defense available was the use of non-verbal magic; a feat she could not be further away from mastering.

'Relashio' Snape spat, directing his wand at her.

_PROTEGO_ Alina screamed the word in her mind, sweeping her wand in the familiar movement as the sheer panic of the attack nearly knocked her off of her feet.

To her relief, a weak blue shield surrounded her, forming a thin layer of protection between herself and the spell.

_We learnt silencing spells last year…you were partnered with Sirius. He told you he preferred you under the spell – _she desperately tried to remind herself, as she threw herself to the left in an attempt to dodge a particularly nasty yellow hex that Snape had sent her way.

'Let's see how much diving she can do before she gets tired' Marcus sneered, his eyes alight with malice as she threw a curse at her and she dived forward, landing with a painful graze to her knee.

'This is what happens when you dare to attack a Pureblood' Snape informed her coldly, watching with amusement as she scrambled back to her feet.

'_YOU CAN'T TALK, YOU'RE NOT EVEN A PUREBLOOD' _she wanted to scream at him '_AND I DIDN'T ATTACK HIM, IT WAS A DUEL!'_

The attempt was futile however, and instead she was hit in the stomach by an electric blue light, immediately knocking the wind from her.

_A bruising hex _she recognised with a groan.

By this point her body had began to visibly tremble, and she gritted her teeth angrily as her eyes flashed between Severus and Marcus.

She had no chance, there was no point dodging the hexes.

There were two of them and one of her. She couldn't even properly use her magic.

Once again she was powerless. Once again she had no control.

Anger coursed through her veins, its power so strong she could feel the electric vibes pulsing against her skin. Every hair on her body stood on end and she could almost hear the buzz of her rage, vibrating in her ears.

_This was Hogwarts. This was where she was safe._

She glared at Marcus, almost daring him to attack.

She bent her knees in a defensive stance, she did not know how, or why, but she was prepared for whatever he was going to do.

'Explosi –' he began.

Alina forgot her wand, she forgot words and magic altogether. Instead she threw her arms outwards, extending them from her body and launching every electrical pulse of anger that her body possessed.

She heard the surprised 'oomph' leave Marcus' lips a second before he was launched violently backwards into the air, and with a nauseating crack, his skull connected with the stone wall behind him, leaving his crumpled, unconscious form in a pile on the floor.

_What the hell –_

'What did you just do?' Severus' demand echoed her own thoughts and she stared at him, wide eyed, feeling suddenly weak.

Her knees began to tremble, and the boy's image began to blur around the edges as his words seemed strangely far away.

She blinked firmly.

She could not afford to be weak now, not when she was still under attack.

_Snap out of it. Snap out of it Alina…_

But she couldn't. Not even as the sound of approaching footsteps reached her ears.

She was exhausted. Her whole body was trembling.

So she did the only thing she could to protect herself; she closed off her emotions, she withdrew from reality, and muscle by muscle, limb by limb, she allowed herself to go completely and overwhelmingly numb.

* * *

When Alina hadn't turned up for Herbology, Sirius had felt uncomfortable.

His discomfort had only increased as he saw Lily's constant glances to the greenhouse door and her frown of concern.

Twenty minutes on and Sirius no longer even attempted to pretend to hold any interest in the task at hand, despite Remus' constant nagging, and instead he scribbled a note and sent it flying across the greenhouse to Lily.

_Where's Blake?_

Lily had replied instantly, although her face had displayed surprise at his question.

_No idea. She should be here. I'm worried._

'What's the matter?' Remus had asked.

'Evans' is worried about Blake, she's supposed to be here.'

'She's probably just letting off some steam' Remus had replied calmly.

'Evans is worried' he had replied firmly, ignoring his friends raised eyebrows 'I'm going to check on her –'

'Padfoot, wait!' Remus had ordered, but Sirius had already raised his hand, made his excuse of feeling sick and slinked out of the greenhouse.

Which was why, ten minutes later, he was marching through Hogwarts' corridors, having already checked the common room, dormitories and kitchens.

_Damn Prongs for taking the map today _he cursed, as he thought of James sitting bored in his Muggle Studies lesson.

'Where are you, Blake?' he muttered quietly to himself, refusing to acknowledge the reasoning behind his care.

A loud crash helped free him from such considerations, and he broke into a run in the direction of the noise.

He turned the corner, apparently just in time, and the knot of worry that had contorted his stomach muscles suddenly erupted in an explosion of fury.

His sharp eyes took in the setting in less than a second.

The unconscious form of Marcus De'Valle, face down on the cold stone floor, Severus Snape with his wand extended, pointing directly at the chest of Alina, who was swaying ominously and whose expression was strangely blank as she stared at the end of Snape's wand.

'STUPIFY' he yelled, wishing he could cast something far more illegal, and Sirius could not help but pause and aim an aggressive kick to Snape's side as he passed him on his way to Alina.

'Blake?' he called, frowning as he got no response.

'Alina?' he stated more clearly, and once again received no reaction.

He came to a standstill directly before her, grasping each of her shoulders and staring intently into her eyes.

She gave no indication that she had even detected his presence.

Her eyes were slightly glazed and unfocused. Her face was ghostly white and her entire frame was trembling violently.

'Alina?' he called, shaking her slightly, a nauseating sense of worry building in his stomach.

'ALINA!' he snapped, his chest begin to contract tightly.

'ALINA BLAKE!' he roared, his voice echoed down the corridor and his hands pressed firmly into her shoulder blades.

It seemed to do the trick. At his shout, Alina jumped violently, her eyes suddenly regaining focus and she stared at him in surprise for a moment before she opened her mouth as if to speak.

No sound came out.

Understanding, Sirius once again pulled out his wand.

'Reverto' he muttered, and Alina exhaled loudly, the trembling of her body only growing with intensity.

'Blake, you all right?' he asked, taking a step closer as she swayed slightly on the spot 'Alina?' he asked more gently.

He could not hide his surprise as she bent her head forward and rested her forehead on his shoulder, but quickly wrapped his arms around her lightly.

She did not respond to his embrace, she merely remained statuesque. Neither moving, nor making a sound.

'It's okay, you're all right now' he finally told her, the words sounding stiff and awkward to his own ears.

'Have I missed much of Herbology? We're probably best to just meet the others in the Common Room now; they'll probably even be there by the time we're back.'

Alina's sudden movement as she pulled away from him and flurry of words left him standing speechless for a second, his mouth agape and his eyes staring at her as if she were a madwoman.

The vulnerable, scared girl that had been standing in his arms only a second before had evaporated, and was instead replaced with a bright eyed, nonplussed Alina, staring at him expectantly as if waiting for his response.

'W- wait…what?' he stuttered.

'Shall we go back to the common room?' she asked, casually.

'B-But…you were just –'

'I was fine' she told him blandly, glaring at him as if daring him to argue.

'No you weren't' he stated firmly, refusing to buckle under her death glare.

'Yes I was' she snapped back, before wiping her expression clear 'now come on, we better get going before Filch comes and finds us in this mess' she jerked her head in the direction of the two unconscious Slytherins, and turned on the spot back in the direction of Gryffindor Common Room.

'Crazy, bipolar, hag' he muttered to himself, aiming a few more hexes at the two unconscious boys before turning to follow her.

* * *

'- so then Sirius comes around the corner and Stupifies the git' Alina grinned, relating the story to their friends.

Sirius watched her, unsure whether he was impressed or disturbed by Alina's innate ability at hiding the fear that he knew she had experienced.

'Gave Snivillus a few extra hexes to wake up to' he grinned, earning a snigger from James.

'Who knew that all it would take was a duel from a few Slytherins to get you out of that mood!' Alice shook her head, clearly baffled 'next time we'll just set a few trolls on you before you leave the Dormitory, it would save the rest of us a lot of hassle.'

'In the mood she was in, the Trolls would probably just accept her as one of their own' Lily remarked slyly, eyeing Alina slightly sternly.

Alina flinched.

'I wasn't really _that _bad, was I?' she grimaced.

'Well you made two first years cry, you hexed a fourth year, even Peeves left the corridor when he saw you approaching –'

'- that fourth year deserved it –'she objected.

'You snapped at all of us…perhaps with the exception of Lily –'Alice informed her.

'She didn't snap at Sirius, either' Lily added, a smug expression spread thickly across her face.

'How's the planning for the Christmas Ball coming along, Lil?' Alina retorted, and grinned triumphantly as she saw Lily glance over at James, her ears reddening.

'But I _am _sorry for being such a Banshee today' she told them all humbly.

'You need to apologise to Remus' Polly informed her pointedly, her tone unusually sharp and Alina could not help but raise her eyebrows in surprise.

'You were really mean to him at Breakfast.' She added in a softer tone, a faint blush gracing her cheeks.

_Well that's knew _Alina thought to herself, but said nothing, turning her attention to Remus.

'Sorry Lupin' she grinned, and got a warm smile back.

'No worries, Blake. We always knew you were a bit of a nut job' he responded.

'Yeah!' Peter squeaked with agreement, and everyone turned to stare, causing him to turn a deep shade of fuchsia.

'Well…thanks, Pete' Alina pulled a face, and shook her head at the boy.

'I didn't mean…I- I only meant –'

'Spit it out Wormtail, at this rate you might finish your sentence by Christmas' James taunted, grinning at his friend with amusement.

Peter only turned a deeper shade of red, and Sirius clapped him firmly on the shoulder.

'Don't worry Wormy, we all think Blake's a bit of a loony too –'

'I didn't mean –'

'Yeah it's fine Pete' Alina interrupted 'Sirius struggles sometimes in social situations…you could even say he finds it difficult to begin conversations –'she added, meeting Sirius' eyes triumphantly.

'Speaking of beginning conversations…perhaps we should cast a permanent silencing charm on you, it was so refreshing earlier' he shot back, the grin spreading across his face.

'Maybe you should cast one now, Black?' Alina suggested with mock innocence 'that way I wouldn't be able to tell everyone how you've already used that line before –'

The group had watched the exchange between the two with bewildered amusement, and Peter seemed relieved that the attention was finally off of him.

James' raucous laughter prevented Sirius from making a response, and drew Alina's attention back to the group rather than the dark haired, git, whose smirk still remained firmly in place.

_**Thank you for your reviews! Please keep reviewing!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

Two months later, Alina lay in bed, staring up at the curtained ceiling above her.

It was late, or very early, depending on which way it was looked at, and she found herself unwillingly fighting against sleep. Her nightmares had always been a dreaded presence in her life, but they had steadily worsened since her return to Hogwarts, until the fear of sleep almost outweighed the actual night terrors.

She chewed on her lip, beginning to contemplate, once again, the idea that had kept floating into her mind at random times.

She sat up. Should she do it?

_I'll get in trouble if I'm caught…and it will lead to questions._

She paused on the thought for less than a second.

_I'll worry about it later._

She scrambled from her bed, holding her breath as she tiptoed from the dormitory, slowly opening the door and closing it softly.

Nobody had heard her.

She let out a sigh of relief and padded down the girls staircase, sticking her head around the corner to check for any presence before crossing the, thankfully, empty common room.

She frowned for a moment as she realised that the Portrait was wide open, and automatically pulled out of her wand, straining her ears to detect any sound.

When nothing came to her, she assumed that a silly third year had snuck in late and forgotten to close the portrait, still keeping her wand tightly in hand she climbed from the hole and ventured out into the dimly lit corridors.

She had no idea how close she had come to crashing into two invisible forms mere inches away from her pathway.

'That was close' James Potter whispered with a grin.

'We couldn't have the _Head Boy _being caught out of bed' Sirius replied mockingly, earning a sharp jab to the ribs.

'Mischief Managed' James muttered, tapping a sheet of parchment with his wand 'come on let's go to bed, Padfoot.'

'Erm…I'll be up in a minute' Sirius hesitated, and James looked at his friend in surprise, before shrugging his shoulders and heading to the boys staircase.

'Take the Cloak' James told him, casually, and not waiting for a response, climbed the steps.

* * *

Alina was sweating by the time she reached the Medical Wing, and before she did anything else she stopped for a moment to catch her breath.

That _blasted _cat.

Filch, the caretaker's, cat Mrs Mable, seemed to be stalking her throughout the castle. Letting out mammoth howls that did not seem capable of coming from a feline.

_Devil Creature._

She was positive it was possessed by the previous Care Taker, Mr Filch's late mother, Mrs Filch, who had died three years previously.

_May the Devil have mercy on her soul _Alina grimaced as she thought back on her memories of the hideous woman.

She wiped her damp forehead with the back of her hand, and tightened her ponytail, before exhaling a deep breath and creeping towards the entrance.

She slipped silently into the room, nearly pouncing from her own skin as a sudden snore erupted from the far corner.

Hesitantly, she edged past the sleeping form of Mrs Peck, the school nurse, whose head was thrown backwards, mouth wide open and a trickle of dribble hanging delicately from her chin.

_I wish cameras worked inside Hogwarts _she thought to herself, making a mental note to ask Polly whether there was a spell that worked in a similar fashion.

She needed to be quick.

All it would take was a sick student turning up…

She hurried through the ward, making her way directly to the medicine cabinet.

'Alohamora' she whispered, urgently, and thanked God for the quiet click that signalled the door unlocking.

She rooted through the countless stacks of potions in the cupboard, cursing Madame Peck's lack of organisation.

_Polly would have a fit if she saw this…_

'Aha' she whispered, grabbing two rounded bottles with the familiar label of a cloud on their side.

_Dreamless sleep potion._

'Who's there?'

An intrusive voice sounded loudly to her left, and she ducked backwards into the shadow of the cupboard as a curtain was pulled roughly open, revealing the domineering form of Severus Snape, dressed only in a hospital grown, but with a very deadly expression on his pale face.

'_Who's there?' _he demanded again 'you, behind the Cupboard –'

_Damn it._

'MADAME PECK?' he called loudly, and Alina panicked.

'Stupify!' she hissed, flinching at the sound of a loud crash as his falling body knocked over a nearby trolley.

'My Goodness, _what _is going on?' Madame Peck's shrill voice blasted into the ward, and from the plump shadow, Alina could tell she was blocking the doorway.

_What do I do? What do I do?_

Her mind was in a whirl, she couldn't curse her – even _she _knew that – but the quickly approaching shape of the woman left her with only seconds before she would be spotted…

_Run._

It was the only option. She sprang up, pushing herself from the wall and ready to sprint at full speed, when a powerful grip violently grabbed her arm, jerking her to the right and knocking her off balance. She opened her mouth to scream but was stopped by a suffocating hand pressing obtrusively over her mouth and a cloak thrown over her head.

Her eyes bulged as she felt herself being crushed tightly against a tall figure, and she did the only thing she could; she kicked out, she clawed at his hands and bit down with her teeth.

She would far rather a detention that whatever this figure seemed to have planned –

'-Blake, ouch, stop it' a miffed whisper commanded, and Alina froze in shock.

'It's me, Sirius' the voice continued.

'Sirius?' she breathed, her voice muffled by his hand which was still firmly pressed over her mouth.

'Yes…no shhh' he hissed.

'Who's there?' Madame Peck called, flicking her wand and bright light filled the room.

The woman's narrowed brown eyes were glaring directly at them. They had been spotted.

_We should have just run…_

'Who's there? Show yourself!' Madame Peck commanded again, and Alina frowned with confusion.

_She was staring right at them?_

Alina felt Sirius' arms tighten around her, and his hand dropped from her mouth, tugging gently on her arm, the material of his cloak still draping over her.

'Follow my lead' he whispered in her ear, and she shivered as his breath tickled her neck..

They passed the angry Professor, and crept closer to the door.

_How had she not seen them yet?_

With an almost painfully slow movement, Sirius edged the door open.

'What the -?' Madame Peck gasped 'STOP!' she yelled, as they threw caution to the wind and swung the door open as they bolted through it.

'RUN!' Sirius yelled, lifting his cloak from her shoulders and letting her free from his hold.

She did not need telling twice. Following his lead, they sprinted through the moonlight lit corridors, her heart beating wildly and a slightly hysterical giggle escaping her lips.

When Sirius came to a halt, she nearly crashed into his back.

'Why – are – you – stopping?' she panted, glancing over her shoulders.

He merely grinned at her, before reaching out to a nearby painting and tickling it, and she felt herself returning his grin.

She hadn't even realised where they were.

_The Kitchens._

'Hungry, Blake?'

'What do you reckon, Black' she smirked, pushing past him and climbing through the portrait hole.

* * *

Once they had been served more than their weights worth of cakes and biscuits, Sirius sat with his cup of tea and studied Alina from across the table.

Alina, in turn, kept her gaze steadily on her hot chocolate, refusing to meet his eyes.

'_What?' _she finally demanded.

'What were you taking from the potions cupboard?' he asked blandly.

'Nothing' she shrugged 'I just went there to give Snape and De'Valle a scare'

'Don't lie to me' Sirius responded, his grey eyes piercing excruciatingly into her own 'I got you out of there, so I deserve an answer.'

'How _did _you do that?' Alina quickly asked 'she was staring straight at us –'

'Answer mine and I'll answer yours' he sang to her, an infuriating smirk on his lips.

She fell silent.

'Fine.' he grumbled 'accio potion!'

She hadn't even noticed him draw his wand.

'No!' she cried, reaching out in an attempt to grasp the two bottles that had shot from her robe pockets 'Stop!'

It was too late, Sirius already had his hands wrapped around the bottles and was examining them with interest.

'Dreamless Sleep Potion?' he questioned, frowning at her 'why would you need -?'

'It's a bit obvious, isn't it?' she muttered angrily.

'Well…yeah, but you only need a tiny dose of this to get a good night's sleep. Why've you stolen two whole bottles?'

She didn't respond, fidgeting awkwardly in her seat as irritation ran through her.

_Who did he think he was? Prying into her business? Demanding answers from her?_

She gritted her teeth.

'You've got your answer, now give me mine' she replied finally.

'Invisibility Cloak' he shrugged, his eyes still bearing down on her questioningly.

'Well I better go' she rushed her words, suddenly jumping from her seat and stumbling slightly, making her way quickly towards the portrait hole.

'W-Wait, _what?' _Sirius spluttered, struggling to keep up with her though path and springing from his own seat, a flurry of House Elves rushing forward to clear their plates away.

'Blake, wait!' he called 'Alina!'

At the sound of her name she paused for a moment, and turned awkwardly back to face him, her face a complete mask.

'Why do you do this?' he asked, completely perplexed.

'Do what?' she asked lightly, her voice sounding far too formal to be natural.

'_This!' _he barked, waving his hands at her and shaking his head 'why do you suddenly go so…_cold? _I don't even know if that's the word to describe it!'

'I'm not _doing _anything, Black!' she replied calmly 'you helped me out, we had a cup of tea, and now I'm going to bed!'

'What, _just like that?' _his face was twisted with his lack of understanding.

'We're mates Sirius, I didn't realise that entailed giving you run by run feedback on every decision I make!' she replied through clenched teeth, her discomfort suddenly clear.

_Leave me alone _she begged silently, keeping her face utterly neutral.

It would not do to come undone in front of Sirius Black, of all people.

He was asking far too many questions and she was uncomfortable enough as it was, the mere thought of him discovering the truth…of even just knowing about the nightmares…

She had to force down a shudder at the thought.

The image of horror and disgust on his face flickered before her eyes.

'Mates?' Sirius let out a humorless bark of laughter 'is that what you _really _think we are, Blake?'

He took a step closer, and Alina took two backwards until her back was pressed firmly against the cold, stone wall.

It felt good on her far too hot skin.

'Of course it is, Black' she shrugged, trying to swallow her heart which somehow had seemed to force its way up into her throat 'what else would we be?'

Sirius smiled and shook his head, aghast by her words, taking an intrusive step forwards.

_Too close. He's far too close._

'Don't be stupid, Alina. We've never just been mates –'

She could feel his breath on her cheek, his body was so close…

_Too close._

She felt her legs begin to shake, and her eyes darted either side of him, desperate to find an escape route.

There was none.

Her breath shortened, she was trapped. He had complete control of the situation.

She felt her mind try and retreat, as it was so used to doing when it felt this exposed; this vulnerable.

'Sirius, please.' Her voice was so soft, so small, that she barely recognised it herself.

Sirius' eyes widened with surprise, he stared for a moment, so deeply into her eyes that it was almost painful to keep eye contact.

Whatever it was he was searching for, he apparently found, and nodding silently he took two steps back.

A wave of relief washed over her.

'Fine…we're just mates' he smiled, and she allowed herself a sigh as her body relaxed 'but you know Blake, you _can _trust me'

She didn't reply, she merely smiled sadly at him.

_She couldn't trust him._

_She couldn't trust anyone._

* * *

'I'm _bored.' _Alice sighed, throwing the magazine she was reading on the floor and looking expectantly around at each of her friends.

'Read a different Magazine, then' Polly answered calmly.

'Muggle magazines are _no _fun when Alli's not in them' Alice grumbled, flashing a grin at her friend whose eyes had narrowed at her mention.

'Here's an idea, how about you study?' Lily suggested.

Alice's expression alone caused Alina to let out a rather unladylike snort, and Polly's lips to twitch slightly.

'It's a Saturday, Lily' she finally answered with a scoff.

'It's a Saturday _morning _Al' Alina reminded her 'normal people relax at the weekend…go and do something to get rid of your energy!'

'Like what, though?' Alice whined, and Lily slammed down the book she was reading.

'We don't know Al!' she told her 'go for a run or something?'

Alice's face screwed up in horror at the idea of exercise, but her eyes quickly lit up and widened with delight as an idea had clearly sprung to mind.

'Quidditch!' she announced.

'Pardon?' Polly replied, pushing up her glasses on her nose.

'Not _play _Quidditch' she clarified 'we can go and watch the team practise – Dexter Baines might take his top off' she finished with a look of devilish delight.

'Firstly, you have a boyfriend' Polly reminded her 'and secondly, which part of Quidditch requires the removal of tops?'

Alice brushed off Polly's comments.

'I can look but can't touch…Frank will never know' she grinned.

'Well I don't mind going, actually. I'd quite like to stretch my legs' Lily piped up, in a far too casual tone, and Alina turned to smirk at her wickedly.

'You seemed pretty absorbed in your book a minute ago...why the sudden change of heart?' she grinned as her friend's cheeks reddened.

'No particular reason, just want to keep Alice quiet' she muttered stubbornly.

'Are you sure it's not so you can see a certain someone?' Alice asked slyly, catching on.

'The only time I associate myself with James Potter is when I have to!' Lily snapped defensively 'and that is only for Head's business!'

'Well you've seemed to have quite a lot of 'Head's business' as of recent, is all I'm saying' Alina commented lightly, physically sensing the waves of irritation radiating off of her friend.

'And who said _anything _about James Potter?' Alice smirked.

'Girls, stop it now' Polly told them in a quiet, yet firm tone 'we can all go for a walk, it might be nice to get some fresh air.'

'I think Lily just wants to get fresh, full stop' Alice muttered in Alina's ear as they left the common room, causing her to snigger and receive a dagger glare from Lily.

* * *

'- WHAT ARE YOU TWO PLAYING AT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I LET YOU NEAR A BROOMSTICK LET ALONE ON THIS TEAM –'

As the four girls approached the Quidditch pitch, they all stared at one another and raised their eyebrows as the sound of angry yelling bounded towards them.

'Ooh, this should be fun!' Alice squealed, her eyes alight with excitement as she quickened their pace.

The shouting, they soon discovered, belonged to none other than James Potter, who was angrily shaking his broomstick at his cowering team.

'TWO WEEKS! TWO WEEKS UNTIL WE PLAY SLYTHERIN!' he bellowed, his face a dark shade of crimson, and the veins on his forehead visible from where they sat down.

'He's been shouting for the last twenty minutes' Remus explained quietly, from his place already in the stands, and smiled warmly at Polly as she took the seat beside him.

'He looks like he's about to explode' Alina grinned.

'Here's hoping' Lily remarked impishly and they all stared at the boy for a moment before erupting into a fit of giggles.

'- AND WE DO NOT NEED A BUNCH OF IDIOTIC GIRLS GIGGLING IN THE STANDS!' James continued, turning suddenly around to face them, his eyes bulging with rage.

The second his eyes fell upon Lily, however, the rage immediately evaporated and was replaced by sheer horror. His jaw dropped open and he stared dumbly over at her.

'Close your mouth Prongs, or you'll start catching flies' Sirius grinned from amongst the team.

'I – I didn't mean –' James stuttered, still staring at Lily as if she were a mirage.

'Come on Jamesy, in case you didn't know we're playing Slytherin in two weeks!' Sirius cried with mock outrage 'we can't be wasting time, hanging around staring at girls!'

He had kicked off of the ground before James could retort, and after a second of spluttering, James had soon followed and their practise resumed, somewhat, peacefully.

'Where's Peter?' Polly asked, scanning the area to catch sight of the boy.

'James and Sirius owled his mum saying…well…' Remus' eyes shifted awkwardly and he cut himself off '…well, let's just say, Peter is currently writing a letter of explanation to her as we speak.' He shook his head, a faint trace of humor, however, present in his brown eyes.

Alina felt a mixture of amusement and sympathy. Poor Peter, he was always on the receiving end of the jokes and she imagined what would have happened had they written to _her _father.

She paled at the mere thought and immediately wiped the idea from her mind, drawing her attention back to her friends.

Lily was rather intently watching the flying team members, her eyes trained on one person in particular, and Alice was chatting animatedly in her ears, not realising that Lily was not hearing a word she said.

Whilst Remus and Polly were quite contently chatting with one another; oblivious to anyone else around them.

The sight warmed Alina's insides as she found herself focusing on them.

Her good humor, however, was short lived. Remus' eyes darted upwards and met her own, and Alina felt a wave of hostility hit her like a curse. She shuddered visibly, and sucked in a deep breath of air, as a wave of nausea and discomfort flooded through her.

Remus' eyes flashed with concern.

'Are you all right Alina?' he asked, his eyebrows knitted together.

'F-fine!' she gasped, staring at him in confusion.

He looked perfectly calm, the only expression on his face was that of concern, but Alina felt wave upon wave of conflicting emotions radiate from his aura.

_What the hell?_

'I need to walk' she choked out, and jumped from her seat.

'Alli, what's up?' Polly asked.

'Nothing! Just…pins and needles in my leg! Just need to walk it off!'

She didn't wait for a response and quickly fled from the stand, a flurry of questions running through her mind.

_What was that? And why did she feel this way?_

She walked a lap of the pitch, and by the time she returned the players had landed, and Sirius and James were walking with the rest of her friends to meet her.

'Are you feeling better now?' Remus called.

'Yeah, fine' Alina muttered shortly, avoiding eye contact and moving so that she was at the opposite side of the group to him.

Even from there another wave of anger and dark energy flooded towards her.

_What is it?_

'-earlier, I didn't mean to shout…I mean, I did mean to shout, but not at you!' she heard James explaining to Lily.

'It's fine' Lily replied softly, and Alina raised her eyebrows at Alice as Lily smiled at James.

'Jesus Christ Prongs! No wonder you haven't managed to pull Evans!' Sirius interrupted, shaking his head disapprovingly.-

'Shut up Sirius' James snapped, a blush creeping up his neck.

'Don't worry James' Sirius assured him 'I don't mind giving you a few lessons on how to talk to girls…I won't even charge, seeing as you're a mate'

'The only lesson you need, Black, is one in how to reduce the size of your ego' Lily remarked archly, and James chuckled.

'Evans, you wound me!' Sirius cried dramatically 'I think you're just disappointed that I've never worked my magic on you.'

'As if' Lily scoffed 'I think you overestimate your abilities, Sirius!'

'It's worked on every girl so far' Sirius grinned back, although his eyes flickered for a brief moment to Alina and she looked away immediately.

'It's true' Alina agreed 'he's got a very high success rate in his dreams' she continued wickedly.

'Oh really, Blake?' Sirius grinned at her with an almost predatory gleam in his eye, causing her to gulp 'you don't think my moves work?'

'The fact that you just referred to your 'moves' gives you my answer' she mocked, trying to ignore the nerves that had invaded her body.

Swiftly, and rather smoothly, Sirius pounced, and she exclaimed with a surprise yelp as she was stopped in her tracks as he blocked her pathway.

She stood mere inches away from her, grinning down at her with taunting eyes.

'Now, James!' he barked in a matter of fact tone 'first, you give them the look.'

To her left, she heard Lily snort, but her mind was too much in a whirl and her ears were ringing far too loudly to notice anything else.

Sirius was once again staring deeply into her eyes, his grey orbs smoldering into hers, and unwillingly she felt her stomach flip with an onslaught of butterflies.

Her throat was bone dry.

She kept her expression blank.

'Then' Sirius continued brightly 'you brush her hair away from her face.'

His hand raised, and very gently he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, tracing her cheek with the back of his hand causing her to shiver involuntarily, and then resting his palm on the back of her neck; his eyes never leaving hers.

Her heart was thumping erratically, she was positive the whole world could hear the incessant beating.

He was so close.

She felt strangely lightheaded, and clenching her jaw she firmly reminded herself to keep breathing.

'And then –' he continued, his voice growing slightly husky before trailing off.

He lowered his face, closing the gap between their lips.

She thought she was going to melt.

Her knees trembled beneath her and her heart leapt wildly in her ribcage.

'GET OFF ME, BLACK!' she screamed, shoving him away with every ounce of strength that she possessed and her words were met with the amused laughter from their friends.

'Nice try, mate' James clapped him on the back 'but it looks like your moves aren't up to scratch.'

Sirius blinked, looking rather dazed for a moment, before shrugging and flashing a cocky grin.

'It works on normal girls' he replied 'Blake's just Blake'

Alina narrowed her eyes and poked her tongue out at him, before linking her arm through Lily's and marching towards the castle, slightly ahead of them.

As James chatted excitedly about what Lily's appearance at the Quidditch practice meant, Sirius retreated into his own thoughts.

His eyes fixed on her blonde hair as she walked away and a flicker of hope ignited in his chest.

For one second, however small it was, he had felt her lips against his.

And for that one second, she had kissed back.

**What did you think? Let me know :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:**

'And then if we use Fairy light we don't have to worry about charms to keep the lights going –'

'It's going to look so pretty outside' Lily sighed.

It was the second week of December and she and James were sitting in the Common Room, piecing together the final preparations for the Christmas Ball.

'I never thought we'd see the day it would be finished' he grinned.

'I never thought I'd let you survive till this day' she laughed back 'now everyone has to get a dress – Hogsmeade's going to be crazy this Saturday!'

'So you're going to Hogsmeade with the girls then?' James asked casually, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.

'Well, yeah' she replied 'but we'll probably go early so that we've got our dresses by lunchtime' she added in a rush.

'Oh' James blinked 'well then I was thinking that maybe, if you want, later on we could –'

'SIRIUS BLACK!'

An ear-splitting scream completely destroyed their moment, causing both to jump back in their seats and stare towards the portrait which had crashed open.

'See you in a bit' Alice hissed as she sprinted past them from the opposite side of the Common Room and made her way towards their Dormitory.

'Coward' Lily smirked.

The room had fallen into an uneasy silence, the atmosphere charged in preparation for a fight, as the opening portrait revealed the form of Alina Blake; her hair tumbled wildly past her shoulders, her eyes flashing darkly and her fist curled tightly around her extended wand.

'SIRIUS!' she yelled once again, oblivious to the audience that had gathered.

'What's he done, now' Lily groaned, knowing that as Head Girl she would be obligated to break up any duel that broke out between the two.

James' paled face told her that he had shared the same realisation.

'I say we run, we can't do anything if we're not here' he mumbled.

'Do my ears detect a Banshee calling my name?' a sarcastic voice, laced with amusement, sounded from the corner, and Alina turned to face the source.

'Oh it's just _you, _Blake' he grinned 'I thought I was being paid a visit by my mother'

'Black –'she growled, her wand pointing directly at his chest.

He slowly rose from his armchair and held out his hands in mock surrender.

'Un-do it. _Now' _she spat.

A nervous shifting from the crowd of students occurred at the sound of her tone.

Sirius, however, remained perfectly at ease.

'I don't know what you're talking about, Blake' he replied coolly.

'The Slytherins, Black' she hissed 'change them BACK!'

He merely raised an eyebrow at her.

'STOP BEING SUCH AN AROGANT, PIG-HEADED, IDIOT!' she barked, and his eyes narrowed at her.

'WELL IF YOU LOWERED YOUR VOICE TO A NORMAL LEVEL, MAYBE I'D BE ABLE TO GRASP SOME IDEA AS TO _WHAT _IT IS YOU ARE ACCUSING ME OF!' he shouted back even louder

'Women' he added, shaking his head.

'YOU'VE GIVEN THE SLYTHERINS A BLOODY LOVE POTION!' she screamed 'I'VE JUST SPENT THE LAST HOUR RUNNING AWAY FROM THEM!'

'Ooooh, _that!' _Sirius grinned, although his humour seemed to falter slightly as Alina marched angrily towards him, her face laced with sheer fury.

Everyone held their breaths for a moment, waiting for the first strike to occur.

But it didn't.

After a moments silence, in which Alina and Sirius glared at one another, Alina's mouth twitched, Sirius' eyes sparkled, and with a loud explosion, they both erupted into laughter.

Leaving the audience completely and overwhelmingly, astonished.

'You – wouldn't – _believe – _the things that – that – that Snivillus was saying!' she choked out between gasps.

'OH ALINA! YOUR EYES SPARKLE WITH THE LIGHT OF DAY – LET ME BE YOUR PRINCE, YOUR HALF-BLOOD PRINCE!' she erupted into another fit of giggles, and was soon being joined by those watching, her laughter proving to be infectious.

'He did NOT say that!?' Sirius laughed, his expression alight as if it were Christmas morning 'your _Half Blood Prince?' _

Sirius' eyes flickered towards James, who was wearing an identical expression of delight.

'Oi, Blake, you two can get married and have greasy haired, hook nosed babies!' James joined in, grinning broadly.

'At least they'll be royalty!' Sirius added, and the room refilled with laughter.

'Stop it' Lily suddenly snapped 'stop making fun'

The laughter subsided a little, and Sirius and James stared at her incredulously.

'Are you for real, Evans?' Sirius frowned 'after all that he said to you –'

'Just stop it, Sirius' she replied coolly, and glared at James who had opened his mouth as if to speak 'have you got something to add, Potter?' she asked.

'Whatever' James shrugged 'I just didn't realise Death Eaters were your type'

Lily's eyes widened at the comment, and Alina almost choked on her own breath.

Never, in their entire time at Hogwarts, had James spoken in such a manner to Lily Evans.

'James!' Alina snapped, but the boy was already stalking from the Common Room and with a shocked glance from Sirius, he quickly followed his friend.

_What the hell just happened?_

* * *

It was Friday afternoon, and the girls were making their way to the dreaded potions lesson.

'What kind of sick, twisted individual scheduled Potions for the last thing on a Friday afternoon?' Alice asked, looking nauseated.

'I think it's quite a nice end to the week' Lily replied in defence of her beloved subject.

'You would' Alice muttered.

'Polly definitely had the right idea in dropping it' Alina grumbled as they entered the dungeons, and automatically her eyes connected with Sirius' as she was reminded of their detention the previous month.

'Slughorn told me it would be quite an exciting lesson today' Lily informed them.

'When did he tell you that?' Alice asked, bemused.

'Slug Club' Alina grimaced 'we got dragged to his office for a 'spot of tea' on Wednesday.'

'Lucky you' Alice wiggled her eyebrows and giggled.

It seemed that Alina's status in the Muggle world was enough to have secured her a place in Slughorn's 'favourite student' club, whilst Lily's simple talent had gained her hers.

Alice was still, quite happily, a non-member, and intended to stay that way for the remainder of her time at Hogwarts.

'Welcome everybody! Pair up! Alphabetically please!' Slughorn boomed as he bustled into the classroom, and a communal groan sounded from the students.

'We have something of a competition taking place today, I can't have all of the more able students sticking together – that wouldn't be fair at all, would it now?' he winked at Lily and Severus conspiringly.

'Teacher's pet' Alina hissed in Lily's ear as she scooted past her and dumped her bag next to Sirius'.

'All right?' he nodded at her, and she smiled back 'haven't seen you in a while.'

'Well it's been a bit difficult, you know, with –'she nodded from Lily to James, whom were sitting at opposite sides of the classroom.

'I know' Sirius shook his head 'who would of thought Prongs would finally snap – I always knew she'd drive him mad eventually.'

Alina opened her mouth to argue in her friends defence, but acknowledging that he did indeed have a fair point, she shrugged.

'Today, we will be making the Draught of a Thousand Nights' Slughorn announced dramatically, gazing around the room 'now, can anybody tell me what this potion is used for?'

Instantly, Lily's hand shot up, and Alina had to bite her lip to prevent a chuckle escaping.

'Miss Evans?' Slughorn beamed.

'The Draught of a Thousand Nights is a potion that prevents the drinker's sight and instead replaces it with darkness. Despite the name, the darkness does not last for one thousand nights, but instead between fifteen and thirty days, depending on the strength and dosage of the potion. It is most commonly used by Mediums and Seers who wish to develop their use of the 'third eye.' But historically has often been used as a form of Punishment.'

'Excellent, as usual Miss Evans!' Slughorn cried, flashing Lily a sickeningly sweet smile 'twenty points to Gryffindor!'

Lily sat back in her seat looking smug.

'Today, in your pairs, you will be attempting to make this potion – you must take great care when reading the instructions, it is a little tricky!' he told them all.

'Sir, you mentioned a competition?' Sophie Steele shouted out.

'Oh yes!' Slughorn cried 'the pair whom brews the most successful potion may choose between two prizes – and might I just add, they are both very good. You may begin!'

There was a scraping of chairs, and an excited bout of chatter at his words. Sirius opened his book, quickly flicking through the pages.

'Looks like I'm getting into a habit of brewing potions with you' he grinned.

'Let's just hope this one turns out better' Alina cocked an eyebrow at him 'I'll get the ingredients.'

Twenty minutes later their cauldron was boiling merrily and they had already completed about a third of the instructions.

'We've got no chance with Snivillus and Lily in the room' Alina sighed.

'WHAT ARE YOU –'a loud crash and puff of purple smoke exploded in the far corner of the room and Alina, along with the majority of the class, jumped back in alarm.

'WHAT DID YOU DO?' Snape's outraged voice bellowed as he marched from amongst the smoke and stood in front of James' table.

'Sorry?' James replied politely, rising to his feet and resting his hand on his wand casually 'are you _accusing_ me of something?'

The tension between the two boys was immediately interrupted by Slughorn.

'Oh dear, Severus. I wouldn't expect this from you –'

Only Sirius didn't appear to be fazed by the sudden explosion and Alina turned to him suspiciously.

'Was that _you -?' _

He just grinned at her conspiringly, leaning forward so that his face was merely inches from hers.

'One down' he whispered.

She blinked in surprise for a moment, before a wicked glint flickered in her wide, blue eyes.

'How are we going to get Lily?'

It seemed, however, that sabotaging Lily was a needless plan. Less than ten minutes later, a horrified cry interrupted the rather quiet class.

'No! Don't put that in yet – STOP!' Lily's frantic cries appeared to come to no avail, as less than a minute later a rather putrid stench seeped into the air.

'Two down' Alina mumbled amongst Lily's groans and her partners apologies.

'So, did you enjoy our Quidditch Practise last weekend?' Sirius asked, stirring the potion.

Alina had to fight the blush that threatened to invade her cheeks as the memory of his lips upon hers flooded back.

'We only came because Alice was bored' she shrugged.

'Yeah, yeah –'

'What's that supposed to mean?' her eyebrows shot up.

'You just wanted to come and watch me fly' he informed her cockily, his expression turning to one of delight as her irritation became apparent.

'As if' she retorted, cursing herself for not thinking of a clever retort.

'It's all right, next time just ask, I don't mind taking you flying' he continued, ignoring her denial.

'I've never been on a broom in my life and I don't intend to make an exception for you' she told him haughtily.

'You – wait! Did you just say you've _never _been on a broom?' Sirius repeated incredulously, and she shook her head, smiling at his expression.

'Why not? What about flying lessons in first year?'

'My father wrote to the school and requested that I didn't take part' she told him flatly, suddenly feeling uncomfortable at the route the conversation was taking.

'Why did he do that?' Sirius questioned.

'He just didn't want me to fly' she replied blandly, and Sirius paused for a moment seemingly realising her discomfort.

'And do you always do what your father says?' he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

'Yes' she replied simply, not having to even consider the question.

Sirius frowned at her tone, and regarded her expression which had grown utterly devoid of the amusement it had previously held.

He opened his mouth to question her further, but was cut short by Slughorn.

'Mr Black! Miss Blake! Excellent work from the pair of you!' Slughorn did not even attempt at hiding his surprise in their success 'I believe we have our winners!'

Sirius watched as Alina's face suddenly changed from the empty mask it had fallen into, into a bright grin.

'Lily's going to hate me' she giggled 'let's go and find out our prize!'

As the class emptied, they waited behind, hovering by Slughorn's desk.

'I was only joking earlier' Sirius told her, and she turned to him in confusion.

'Huh?'

'About the flying thing – it was just a joke' he clarified

'Oh!' her eyes widened in realisation 'I know'

'You seemed annoyed' he stated.

'I wasn't annoyed, Sirius' she told him in a softer tone and he didn't reply.

He just could not figure the girl out.

'Well done, the two of you' Slughorn finally addressed them 'it seems that your time in detention has finally taught you to work well together!'

They smiled politely in response.

'Now, we have two prizes for you to choose from' he continued excitedly 'firstly, is a bottle of Felix Felicis!'

He pulled a small bottle out of his top draw, and the shifting of Sirius beside her, alerted her of his interest in the prize.

'Secondly' Slughorn continued 'is a very rare treat indeed! Hagrid has informed me that within the next few weeks a Unicorn is to give birth. He is currently tending to the creature, and the prize is to be present at the birth. Needless to say this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Newborn Unicorns emit a magic that even the greatest of wizards know not of…they are perhaps the most innocent creatures in existence.'

Slughorn's eyes had grown hazy for a moment as he appeared lost in thought, and Alina turned to face Sirius.

'You want the Felix, don't you?' she asked him, seeing the excitement in his eyes.

'Well…kinda...yeah' he nodded, his eyes bearing into hers.

'Okay, we'll do that' she nodded brightly, ignoring the slight pang of disappointment in her chest.

'No!' Sirius interrupted, eyeing her firmly before turning to Slughorn 'we'll do the Unicorn thing'

'Very well' Slughorn beamed at them both, before excusing himself and leaving the room.

'You didn't have to do that' Alina told Sirius shyly, but he merely shook his head and grinned at her.

The sparkle of joy in her eyes and flushing of her cheeks told him otherwise.

'You might have a good Poker face, Blake' he informed her lightly 'but it's not impossible to catch a glimpse through it now and then.'

* * *

The next morning, the four girls made their way along the familiar pathway to Hogsmeade.

'Just think, this is one of the _last _time's we're going to be walking –'

'We _know _Alice!' they all chorused before she could finish her sentence, and Alice laughed.

'I still can't believe you and Sirius get to see the baby Unicorns, I'm so – 'Polly continued, but was interrupted by a shout from behind them.

'Alina!'

They all turned to see Blake Sorrento, a seventh year Hufflepuff jogging towards them.

'Hey!' he greeted with a wide smile 'sorry to hold you up, just wanted to quickly ask Alina something'

Feeling slightly awkward as her friends all turned to her expectantly she smiled politely at him and waited for him to continue.

'I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the Christmas Ball with me?' he finally asked, realising that she did not intend on leaving her friends to speak to him.

'Oh' she replied blandly, before smiling apologetically at him 'I can't…_I'm sorry.' _

'Yeah, never mind' he shrugged 'I figured you would have had a date by now, anyway. Thought I'd give it a go though – have a nice day girls! Maybe I'll be able to get a dance from you on Saturday' he added to Alina, before flashing them a grin and returning to his friends.

'Alli!' Alice scolded, and all of her friends turned to her in outrage.

'Why did you say no?' Polly asked in exasperation 'that's the third person you've turned down!'

'_And _he's good looking!' Lily added.

Alina shrugged, continuing to walk down the pathway, not noticing the four boys further back behind them, one of whom was staring intently as Blake approached Alina, and frowning uncertainly as he observed him leave.

'I just didn't want to go with anyone who's asked so far' she told them.

'She's just holding out for a _certain someone' _Alice wriggled her eyebrows suggestively.

'I am not! Me and Sirius are just friends!' Alina retorted, and Alice beamed triumphantly.

'Who mentioned anything about Sirius?' she asked slyly, causing Alina to blush with embarrassment.

'I'll just go with Polly!' she announced 'who needs a date!'

'Erm…actually, Remus asked me this morning' Polly replied in a small voice, her face blushing a deep crimson.

Everyone let out a cry of excitement at her statement, but Alina could not help the sensation of unease that crept upon her.

She loved Remus, he had always been a good friend to her, but every now and then, when she was near him she could not escape the flood of emotions that seemed to project from the boy.

It was something that had always baffled her about him, but recently the strength of the feeling had grown and she could not help the small nagging voice in her mind that kept telling her that there was something not right about him…

'Alli? You still with us?' Alice's voice broke her from her thoughts and she nodded enthusiastically.

'Come on then, let's shop!' she announced.

* * *

Two hours later, they managed to surface from the flurry of girls who had invaded Madame Malkin's Dress Shop, thankfully, each possessing a dress for the Ball.

'That. Was. _Insane!' _Alina gasped, closing her eyes with pleasure as the crisp winter air caressed her flushed cheeks.

'Someone bit me! Someone _actually _bit me!' Lily kept repeating, her expression horrified as she held out her right hand, displaying clear indents of teeth.

'Nutjobs! The lot of them!' Alice cried, trying to flatten her hair which had been tossed entirely out of place.

'To the Three Broomsticks?' Polly suggested, flicking her wand and repairing her smashed glasses, and all three girls made sounds of agreement.

As they made their way to the familiar building, a group of students came bursting out of the front door, laughing merrily.

'OI RICH!' one of the boys yelled 'HERE'S YOUR CHANCE!'

His shout was met by a loud cheer from the group, and to the girls' surprise, Richard Wilkinson, the Chaser for Ravenclaw, was pushed enthusiastically in their direction, his face a rather impressive shade of red and a wide grin spread across his face.

'Sorry about that' he chuckled as he reached them, smiling apologetically 'I actually just came to ask you if you want to go to the Christmas Ball with me?' he turned to Alina.

She opened her mouth automatically to turn him down, but snapped it shut immediately.

The girls were right, however much she wanted to deny it, she had been holding out for Sirius to ask her to go with him.

But it was a week before the Ball, and all of her friends had a date.

How long could she wait for Sirius to ask her?

_He might not even want to ask _she reminded herself _he's probably got bored of you by now._

'That would be –'she began.

'- ALLI, WATCH OUT!' Lily's scream interrupted her, and Polly grabbed her cloak, pulling her to the left sharply with a sudden jolt.

'W-What the -?' she began, before her jaw dropped and her eyes widened with disbelief.

In front of them, charging directly into their path, was a large, regal looking stag.

Its head was bent and it collided directly into the poor, unsuspecting, Richard, knocking him down onto the floor.

Richard's friends ran forward to assist, their wands extended, but Lily's voice stopped them in their tracks.

'It's a defenceless animal, you can't hurt it!' she yelled, glaring at them.

'It doesn't look defenceless, it's attacking Richard!' a girl cried.

Her words, in actual fact, were incorrect. The Stag did not appear to actually be attacking Richard, it merely seemed to be refusing to allow him to get to his feet, nudging the boy off balance every time he tried to scramble up.

'He's not hurting Richard, we just need to be careful – if anyone so much as tries to hurt it you'll be serving detention for the next month and won't be attending the Ball on Saturday' she glared.

Realising that everyone was taking her threats seriously, Lily turned to Alice and Polly and they all slowly approached the creature, trying to figure out the best way to deal with the situation.

A voice from behind Alina prevented her from assisting them. She turned in surprise to see the approaching figure of Sirius Black, sprinting towards her, calling out her name.

'Alli –'he gasped, panting as he finally reached her '-what – did – you – say?' he forced out between breaths.

'Huh?' she frowned 'what did I say about what?'

'What – did – you say - to – Wilkinson! Did – you – say – yes?' he choked.

' I – I haven't said anything yet…Sirius there' a stag –' she began to explain, pointing to the animal behind her.

'Yeah, yeah' he brushed off her comment, not even sparing a glance towards the stag 'but you didn't say yes?' he clarified.

'Well…no, not yet' she replied, utterly baffled as to what was going on.

'Yet' he scoffed, and glanced up at the loud cheer as Richard, with the assistance of Lily, had managed to climb back to his feet.

'Look, don't say yes to him Alli' he told her in a hurry, his eyes flickering over her shoulder.

'What? Why not?'

'Go with me' he grabbed her shoulders to stop her from turning back to the commotion.

Alina stared at him, taking a moment to decide whether he was joking, but there was no sign of amusement in his eyes.

Her stomach did a flip, and her heart began to beat faster.

'All right' she shrugged.

'Cool' he nodded 'I'll meet you in the Common Room'

He turned and walked back in the direction he had run from, and Alina turned back to her friends, a smile pulling her lips upwards.

The moment she had turned back, the Stag, as if waiting for something, stood up fully and stared directly at her for a moment, before lowering its head once more and cantering away.

As if its job had been done.

'Did that actually just happen?' Alice asked in a small voice, staring at the space the stag had just occupied.

'Yes. It did' a deeper voice growled and they all turned to find Richard, supported by one of his friends, limping slowly towards them, his clothes torn and dirt strewn across his cheeks.

'So' he muttered, embarrassment blatant on his expression 'will you?'

'Will I what?' Alina blinked, for a moment unsure what he was referring to.

'Go to the Ball with me?' his tone slightly disbelieving.

'Oh…that. I'm really sorry I can't' she told him.

'Why not?' he asked.

'I'm already going with someone.'

She felt the questioning stares of her three best friends, and she kept her expression blank, despite the heat that she could not prevent from rising on the back of her neck.

'Oh' Richard replied, looking disappointed 'who with?'

Alina paused, feeling the awaiting ears of her companions.

'Sirius Black' she replied casually, and after flashing him a smile, proceeded to march into the Three Broomsticks, refusing to spare a glance at the three gobsmacked girls she left behind her.

_**Any suspicions about that Stag? Let me know what you think :)**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:**

Alina awoke to the sound of her own screams.

Throwing her body to the side and with a sudden lurch the contents of her stomach came up, leaving her shuddering and coated in a cold sweat.

Taking three deep breaths, she tried to gather herself together and calm her mind.

_Why didn't you take the Dreamless Sleep Potion last night? _She groaned inwardly, as she flinched in disgust at the mess on her bed.

'Scourgify' she muttered as she pulled out her wand from under her pillow, and thanked God for the millionth time for magic.

She knew that there was no point in trying to go back to sleep, she would be awoken by the hustle and bustle of excited students in a matter of hours, and the mere idea of delving back into the confines of her nightmares brought back a sudden wave of nausea.

Tiptoeing out of the dormitory, she padded down to the common room and found that it was not unoccupied as she had expected.

'James?' she questioned.

The messy haired boy was bent over a bundle of notes, his face deep in concentration and two thick frown lines on his forehead indicating that he was stressed.

'Alli?' he replied, sleepily, wiping his reddening eyes as he glanced up at her.

'What are you doing?' she asked incredulously 'it's five in the morning!'

'Is it?' he asked, appearing slightly dazed 'I just needed to go through everything for this evening, incase we forgot something –'

'James, have you been up all night?' she questioned, her eyes widening.

'Yeah, kinda' he nodded 'I didn't want anything to go wrong for the Ball, we've put so much effort in to it and Lily – he broke off at the mention of the name and frowned.

'You want Lily to have a good time.' Alina finished for him.

'She'll want to be getting ready and not stressing herself out.' He stared into the fire, his jaw tight.

'What you said to her –'

'- I don't want to talk about it Alina' he interrupted.

'It upset her.'

James raised his eyes to meet hers.

'I didn't want to upset her, it's just –'he pulled at his hair in frustration 'she seems to give _Snivillus _a million and one chances, but when it comes to me –'

'- she won't even give you one' Alina sighed, and James nodded.

'It's embarrassing.' He grimaced 'there are so many other girls that I could go out with, or take to the stupid Halloween Ball.'

'So why don't you then?' she asked gently.

'Because I can't. Because they're not _bloody _her, with those _bloody _green eyes and –'he clenched his fists in frustration 'and now _she's _going to the Ball with Dexter… she knows he's on my team. I've had to stare at his smug face all week!'

Alina's heart tightened with sympathy as she watched James come undone in front of her. She knew that a huge part of his outburst came down to exhaustion, but the conflicting emotions that contorted his face were bitter and raw.

'She only said yes to Dexter to spite you' Alina told him slowly, and he stared at her in disbelief as her words registered with his ears.

'What d'you –'

'She was angry, and he asked. She actually thinks he's a bit of a git, but like I said, it was to spite you.'

'See? Then there's no bloody point in me caring, in me staying up all night to do this –'he gestured at the pile of parchment before him 'if all she wants to do is _spite me!'_

'James, you're not understanding' Alina told him quietly, a slow smile tugging upon her lips 'the fact that she's doing it to spite you means that she _cares. _She cares, James.'

James' eyes widened with disbelief and Alina grinned at his gobsmacked expression, making her way out of the portrait hole and leaving him alone with his thoughts.

James Potter sat in silence when she left. His eyes staring at the spot that Alina had just been standing in and his mouth still slightly ajar.

Was she right? Was Alina telling him the truth?

_She must be, he had never known her to lie before._

James frowned, before a small smile flickered across his face.

Alina Blake had just given him something he had never had before in regards to Lily Evans; Hope.

* * *

'_Pass the mascara!'_

'_Where's my other shoe?'_

'_My hair just won't go right!'_

Their Dormitory, it seemed, had become the designated dressing room for the seventh year Gryffindor girls.

Even Alina, whom had attended her fair share of Balls, couldn't shake the nerves that had surfaced since lunch time.

'It has to go perfectly' Lily muttered, her complexion even paler than usual.

'Lil, it's going to be fine. James was up all night running through everythi –'

'_What?' _Lily demanded, cutting off Alina mid-speech.

'James…was up all night, I thought you –'

'I thought it was McGonagall who had finished all the last minute tasks –'Lily breathed.

'Nope, it was all Potter' Alina told her matter of factly 'now, get your dress on so we can finish your hair…'

A few hours later, and the Dormitory had cleared out as each girl made their way to meet their respective dates, until only the four girls whom the room belonged to remained.

Alina hurried to the bathroom, inspecting herself critically in the mirror.

Unlike Alice, who was dressed in a flamboyant blue dress, she had opted for a subtle clothing option; a very light gold dress which clung tightly to her waist before flowing down to her knees.

Her hair, lightly curled, fell in waves to her upper back and she silently thanked Lily for the magical beauty cosmetics she had purchased in Diagon Alley.

She was ready.

Shaking her head at the stupidity of her nerves, she tucked her wand into her clutch purse, and hurried after the others.

She saw Sirius Black every day, why should this one be any different?

* * *

The Common Room was alive with the buzzing atmosphere of excited students, but Alina's attention was immediately drawn to one person in particular.

'Hi' Sirius grinned at her, his eyes appearing even more piercing against his charcoal dress robes.

Alina felt her face blush red, but forced herself to remain calm.

_This is ridiculous. Stop being so stupid._

'Hi' she grinned back.

Neither of them spoke for a moment, they just looked at one another, staring intently into each other's eyes.

'I was just wondering –' Sirius began, but Polly rushed over and interrupted them, an urgent expression on her face.

'It's Lily' was all she said, and Alina flashed Sirius an apologetic look before rushing in the direction that Polly was leading her.

'What's happened?' she asked, catching up to her friend.

'It's Dexter' Polly told her grimly 'he's ditched Lily for Sophie Steel'

'You're kidding me!' Alina spluttered in disbelief.

'I wish I were' Polly replied as they entered their dormitory.

'Lil?' Alina called and a muffled voice replied from inside the bathroom.

'I'm not going'

'Lily don't be ridiculous, you planned the whole thing, you can't miss it!' Alina called through the door 'now open the door'

'I'm _not _going, Alli!' Lily sounded between sniffles 'this is humiliating! I'm supposed to be opening the Ball dancing with my partner – it's tradition for the Head Girl and –'

Lily's voice cut off, and a soft click sounded as the door swung open revealing a clearly distraught Lily.

'Look, you can borrow Sirius if you want?' Alina grinned 'or I heard Peter hasn't got a date?'

'Ew' Lily groaned, a smile playing on her lips.

'And don't worry I'll curse Dexter for you' she added menacingly.

'There'll be no need for that!' Alice's bright voice from the doorway signaled her presence 'Potter's done that for you'

'What?' Lily gasped.

'Looks like a hybrid spell, some kind of cross between the Bat Bogey Hex and Tarantellegra' she grinned 'the results were…interesting.'

'B-But, James could get in _so _much trouble!' Lily cried, her eyes wide with panic.

'Since when did you care about James getting in trouble?' Alice's eyes lit up suspiciously.

'I- I don't I –'

'Lily don't worry, James is used to getting in trouble. He's done a lot worse. Now sort your makeup out and let's go' Alina grinned, and with a sigh Lily followed the instructions.

* * *

Soon enough they were inside the Great Hall, gazing around appreciatively at all of the hard work Lily and James had put in to the event.

The room was alight with thousands of floating candles, tremendous fur trees were decorated exquisitely and a mixture of holly, ivy and mistletoe floated above them amongst the candles.

'It's brilliant!' Remus grinned, shouting over the loud music of the band.

And Lily's face lit up at the compliment.

However, it soon came to the moment she had been dreading. As the dance floor was cleared, and McGonagall's voice sounded loudly, requesting the Head Students and their partners to come to the dance floor, Lily's face dropped.

'Sirius, you'll have to go with her' Alina whispered, but Sirius merely grinned and shook his head.

'Come on, Evans' James smiled calmly down at the worried girl, his arm held out for her.

She paused for a moment, staring at his extended arm, before meeting his eyes nervously and taking it, allowing him to lead her to the dance floor.

'Look at Snivillus' face' Sirius whispered in Alina's ear, and she sniggered quietly.

Severus Snape was glaring at the couple, his eyes burning with sheer rage and his lips curling with disgust.

'Oh poor Sev' Alina sighed, giggling.

'I bet he wishes he'd stayed in and washed his hair' Sirius sighed.

'No he's saving that for _next _year' Alina informed him, grinning.

'Dance?' Sirius suggested, as other students made their way onto the dance floor, and she nodded immediately, her heart leaping as his hand reached for hers and his arms curled around her waist.

One dance seemed to blend into another, and Alina soon became unsure whether the music was playing at all. She closed her eyes, resting her head against Sirius' shoulder and took pleasure in the moment.

For once, it wasn't too close.

It was just close enough.

* * *

Lily walked out into the night air and smiled ecstatically as she gazed around. The fairy lights lit up the sky and decorated the trees surrounding the castle.

It looked beautiful.

Sighing with contentment, she slowly walked along the pathway leading from the Great Hall, taking pleasure from the cool air caressing her skin.

'Lily?'

A voice called her name from behind, and she felt her stomach flip, slowly, very slowly, she turned back, trying her best to fight the wave of nerves that flooded through her.

'Hi James' she breathed.

'Are you all right?'

Lily thought about the question, a few hours ago she had been certain that the night was destined for disaster, but now…

She sighed.

'I'm great' she told him warmly.

'Look…' he began nervously.

'-thank you' she interrupted, and his eyebrows shot up with surprise 'for being my partner…in the dance.'

He looked at her incredulously and shook his head.

'It's fine Lily' he told her 'but I do want to say I'm sorry'

'Sorry?'

'For what I said…about Snape. The Death Eater thing –'

'It's all right James' she replied softly 'I know that I give him more chances than he deserves, it's just –'

'It's what?'

'I've been friends with him forever. He was the one who told me that I was a witch, about magic and Hogwarts…' she trailed off, sadness taking possession over her heart, clenching it tightly as her mind ran through the countless memories she had of Severus.

'I didn't know that' James replied gently, reaching out hesitantly and resting his hand on her bare shoulder consolingly.

She froze at his touch and her eyes rose to meet his.

'What happened to you James Potter? She asked 'when did you become so – so – like this' she gestured at him and he grinned.

'I've always been 'like this'' he mocked her gestures 'you just refused to get to know me.'

'Because you were an arrogant git' she grumbled.

'I still am' he grinned at her 'you just like it now.'

She opened her mouth to argue, but instead thought better and aimed a sharp punch to his shoulder, causing him to cry out with a yelp of pain and for her to laugh.

'Come on, Evans' he chuckled, rubbing his shoulder 'fancy another dance?'

Lily looked at him thoughtfully.

'Only because I feel sorry for you' she smirked.

'Whatever, Evans, we both know you can't resist me.'

This time he managed to duck and avoid the fist that she aimed at him, and both laughing they returned to the great hall; together.

* * *

The end of the evening was quickly approaching, much to the displeasure of the students.

And even Professor McGonagall seemed to be enjoying herself as Professor Flitwick embarked on a waltz like dance with her.

Sirius span Alina around quickly, and she almost stumbled from laughing.

'I'm dizzy! Stop!' she yelled, before he finally ceased throwing her around 'I'm not a rag doll Sirius!' she scolded him, and he merely laughed back with a rather boyish grin.

'It's nearly midnight' he grumbled and her face immediately dropped.

'I know' she sighed, allowing him to pull her closer as a slower song began to play.

'This evening's been perfect' she closed her eyes once again.

It really had. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so relaxed and at ease. It seemed that everything about Sirius could just be easy and simple, and she was thankful for that.

It was exactly what she needed.

'Do you mean that?' Sirius asked, moving back slightly so that he could look down at her.

'Huh?' she asked.

'That it's been perfect tonight, do you mean it?' he clarified.

'Well…yeah' she shrugged, trying to grasp at where he was going with the conversation.

'Then go out with me' he stated.

She froze. Neither of them dancing any longer and instead just staring at one another.

'W-what d'you –'

'Oh don't be stupid, Alli' he groaned 'you know what I mean. Be my girlfriend.'

'But you don't do girlfriends' she replied blandly, her mind moving too fast for her to have any control over the situation.

Sirius chuckled.

'No I don't. But I want to now, with you' he told her.

'I – I-'

She no longer felt calm, and the safety of Sirius' embrace suddenly seemed imposing and suffocating.

Why did he have to ruin everything? Why couldn't he just understand that she couldn't let someone that close to her?

Once again, the image of Sirius discovering the truth about her fluttered into the forefront of her mind, and she felt physically ill.

'I can't' she whispered, almost choking on her words as her throat closed up.

'_What?' _Sirius hissed, dropping his hands from her waist and running his hands through his hair in disbelief 'are you joking?'

'I'm sorry' she managed to force out, her eyes wide as they took in the mixture of disappointment and anger on Sirius' face.

'What the _hell _is all this about then Alina?' he demanded, extending his palms to indicate the Ballroom.

'We're just –'

'- don't say _friends'_ he spat coldly 'because you know that's not true.'

'Sirius, I'm –'she began again, her voice shaking.

'- sorry. Yeah I know Alina.' He cut her off 'I'm sorry too'

He shook his head and ripped his eyes from hers, turning and marching off of the dance floor.

'Sirius!' she called after him, but he didn't respond. He just kept walking, without sparing her another glance.

She stood alone, in the middle of the dance floor, staring after him. Her heart was thumping so loudly she felt as if her ribcage were about to split, her body was trembling so violently she was unsure how much longer she'd be able to support her weight and with every step that Sirius took from her it was like a knife slicing into her heart.

Why had she let him so close, when she knew she could never be with him?

_He wouldn't want you if he knew._

'Alli?' Lily's concerned voice caused her to look up, her vision slightly blurred as she fought back the tears that had formed.

'What happened?' James' voice joined Lily's and Alina briefly acknowledged that they had been dancing together.

'S-Sirius…he –'Alina began, slightly breathless 'he asked me out'

'And what did you say?' James demanded, frowning at her.

'I can't…he wouldn't want –'

'_What do you mean you can't?' _James barked and Lily frowned at him.

'What he means, is why not Alli? You clearly have feelings –'

'I know, but –'

'- but _what _Blake? You just thought you'd hurt him?' James asked coldly and Alina's eyes flickered to his in surprise.

She had hurt him.

Amongst all of her own emotions she hadn't stopped to consider what Sirius was feeling.

'I've made a mistake' she muttered, and James and Lily grinned encouragingly at her.

'He went outside' James informed her brightly, and she turned and rushed towards the exit, out into the moonlit night.

He wouldn't have to find out about her home life.

He hadn't so far, nobody had.

And she could worry about it later.

All that mattered now was just being with him, and feeling the happiness and security that he somehow seemed to bring to her.

'SIRIUS!' she yelled, seeing a flash of grey dress robes and black hair flicker behind a bush a few metres away 'I'VE CHANGED MY MIND' she added, quickening her pace.

She flew around the corner of the bush, her eyes taking a moment to adjust to the sudden darkness as the fairy light was blocked by the leaves.

She blinked once.

Twice.

A third time.

And then she saw him, his eyes wide at the shock of her sudden appearance, his hair messy and no long perfectly in place as it had been before, and the jolt of movement as he quickly jumped away from the curly haired figure in front of him.

'You've changed your mind about what?' a nasally voice taunted, as Sophie Steel stepped around Sirius' figure and came into sight.

Alina's eyes flickered between the two of them, her stomach lurching painfully as her mind began to fully appreciate what was happening.

'Alli this isn't what –'Sirius began, his voice laced with desperation and his face frantic with panic.

'It's exactly what it looks like, Black' Alina replied coldly, thanking God that her voice remained strong.

She didn't wait for any more of his excuses, or any taunts from Sophie, instead she span on the spot and marched as quickly she could away from him.

_Breathe. Breathe. Breathe._

The voice in her mind commanded, but unlike normal, her body did not wish to respond.

She tried to force down the emotions, she grasped deep within herself for some place to escape to; a place where it didn't feel as if she were being torn apart, limb from limb.

But it didn't work. The emotion was too raw and too deep to escape from.

She wanted to scream.

_You can't trust people. You can't trust men. They're all the same. Just like your father._

'I should have known' she whispered, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

* * *

The first thing she saw as she climbed through the portrait hole into the Common Room was James Potter's wide, grinning face.

'Well?' James demanded excitedly.

'Well what?' she answered coolly, keeping her expression blank.

'Well _what?!' _he repeated incredulously 'did you find Sirius? What happened?'

'Yeah, I found him' she told him, and made her way towards the staircase.

'Well what happened then!' James pressed 'are you together now?'

Alina turned to him.

'No' she stated simply, fighting the fresh wave of pain that slowly began to crush her heart.

'What d'you mean 'no'' James frowned.

'I mean, no, we are not together'

'Why not? You said you'd made a mistake!' James barked, outraged 'you need to stop messing with his head! Where is he?'

'I'm not messing with anyone's head James' she told the boy wearily, her tone appearing to only enrage James further.

'No messing with his head? Are you joking?' he spat.

'Alli, what's wrong?' Lily asked quietly, her green eyes piercing into the side of Alina's face.

'Nothing' Alina replied shortly, refusing to meet her friends gaze.

'Alli –'Lily began again, but was stopped by the Portrait opening once more, revealing the rather ragged looking figure of Sirius Black.

'Alli!' he called, running across the room until he was standing before her.

Alina refused to meet his gaze.

'I'm going to bed' she announced quietly.

'Alli – please –'Sirius pleaded.

'-I think he has the right to speak to you Alli' James told her coldly, and Alina turned to face him, her eyes flashing.

'Oh really, Potter? Do you?' she snapped 'well in case you were wondering, I _did _go to speak to Sirius but he was preoccupied when I found him, weren't you?' she turned to Sirius, whose face had paled drastically.

'You see, his mouth was too full of Sophie Steel for him to be able to talk to me' she added 'now I'm going to bed. Goodnight.'

_**What did you think? You didn't think it was going to be as easy as that, something had to go wrong! Thoughts?**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight:**

It was the last few days of term and the blizzard that had engulfed Hogwarts seemed to delve straight into Alina's chest and carress her heart with its icy fingers.

Over the few days since the Christmas Ball Alina had felt her friends' concerned gazes follow her every movement, and the ball of anger and sadness that Sirius had formed within her had gradually grown to annoyance.

'I'm not going to cry if you mention his name' she finally snapped, as Alice tried to mouth to the other girls that Sirius was approaching 'so you don't have to try and help me avoid him.'

'Alli…we don't think you're going to –'

'- I'm not a child and me and Sirius were never together so it's no skin off my back.'

She silently wondered whether her lies were as convincing as she thought, or if her friends could see straight through them.

'Alli –'Lily began, doubtfully.

'I'm fine!' she insisted 'now let's go to Herbology…'

In actual truth, which was something she only barely allowed herself to accept, she was far from fine. She was embarrassed and hurt and it did not help that Sirius was in most of her classes, and somehow managing to haunt every corridor she turned down.

'Alli?' he tried, once again, from his place hovering outside of the greenhouses.

Fighting the urge punch him, she calmly informed her friends that she would meet them inside and clenching her teeth she turned to face Sirius.

It was almost as gut wrenching as the night she had seen him with Sophie as she met his vivid grey eyes, but she managed to keep her expression stoic.

'Alli…please let me explain' he rushed 'I'm an idiot. I am _such _an idiot.'

'That's not an explanation that's a fact' she informed him blandly.

Sirius sighed, and ran his hands through his hair.

'I was angry. I know it's no excuse, but I was just really angry…I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have broken your trust –'

Alina chuckled humourlessly and shook her head, causing him to cut off.

'Don't worry about breaking my trust, Black. I never trusted you anyway.'

_Lies._

She was lying through her teeth, and that fact alone infuriated her.

She _had _trusted him. She'd trusted him far too much, and that had left her exposed.

_Never again._

'Alli –' he began again.

'Don't worry about it Sirius' she told him, tiredly.

'Huh?'

'It's fine…apology accepted' she informed him 'I'll see you later.'

She left him frowning deeply, his face contorted with confusion, and his dark hair glistening with half settled snowflakes.

* * *

'Alli – you've got an Owl!' Lily called through the bathroom door, and Alina turned off of the water to her shower, blinking in surprise.

'An Owl?' she muttered, frowning.

She never received Owls…

Scrambling for her towel and muttering a quick drying charm for her hair, she rushed into the Dormitory and just as Lily had said; found a large tawny Owl perched expectantly on the end of her bed.

She opened the letter and cursed silently to herself.

_Dear Alina,_

_Professor Slughorn informed me that yourself and Sirius Black were the winners  
of his competition. The Unicorn Mare went into labour yesterday and I am expecting  
the birth to take place later on this evening.  
Please come to the paddock at the back of my Hut tonight at 7pm, this really isn't  
something you want to miss.  
_

_I look forward to seeing you,  
_

_Rubeus Hagrid._

'It's from Hagrid' she explained to Lily, raising her eyes to meet the questioning green ones 'it's the Unicorn birth tonight…'

'I forgot about that' Lily muttered 'and you're supposed to go with –'

'-Sirius…yep' she smacked her lips over the 'p' making a popping sound 'this should be…interesting.'

She spent the rest of the day with conflicting emotions.

By lunchtime she had firmly decided not to attend the birth; the thought of being alone with Sirius being too much.

But as she finished dinner, and the hour of 7 was fast approaching, she found herself yearning to go as her interest peaked…

'Alli?' Sirius piped up from across the table, and Alina felt a variety of curious eyes fix on her with interest.

'Yeah?' she replied calmly, wishing everyone would leave her alone.

'About tonight –'

'What time shall we leave?' she asked him, and she caught the surprise in his expression.

'You still want me to come?'

'Well you won too' she shrugged 'we might as well go now' she added look at the clock, reading 15 minutes to 7.

'O-Okay' he blinked.

* * *

The journey to Hagrid's hut was silent.

The dull crunching of the footsteps in the snow filled the chilled air, and Alina found herself concentrating on her breathing.

_In, out, in, out._

'Alina? Sirius? Tha' you?' Hagrid's bright voice broke the silence.

'It's us!' Alina called.

'Over 'ere!' Hagrid called.

They made their way hurriedly around Hagrid's hut until the giant figure came into sight.

He was crouching low, in a fenced off paddock and slowly turned to face them, a large finger over his mouth signalling them to be quiet.

'Make sure yer quiet, don' wanna spook her' he told them 'now, Sirius you hold back…she migh' be a bit nervous around yeh, Unicorns don' take to men too well, she's only jus' got used to me…Alli, you can approach, slowly like –'

Alina nodded, gulping as a shrill shriek erupted from the paddock, a wave of hysteria and fear seemed to stampede at her and she paused mid-step.

The wave of emotions seemed to rush through her veins and every hair on her body stood on end.

She took a shuddering breath and slowly climbed over the fence, finally gaining her first glimpse of the Unicorn.

She could not prevent the gasp of awe that escaped her lips.

She was beautiful.

Her coat gleamed under the moonlight, making the fresh fallen snow appear dull in comparison.

A low grunt of pain emitted from the creature, and Alina flinched as another wave of turmoil hit her.

'It's okay…it's all right' Alina muttered soothingly, extending her arms to hold herself completely open 'shhhh.'

It was as if the Unicorn could sense her concern, and understand her words, its golden eyes met her own and Alina sighed as the creature's body relaxed, and proceeded to gaze at her pleadingly.

'It's all right' she repeated, moving past Hagrid and closer to the creature until if she extended her hand she would be touching it.

''Lina be careful…she'll feel threatened if yeh ge' too close –' Hagrid warned lowly.

'Oh you're not afraid of me, are you?' Alina breathed, and the Unicorn snorted quietly as if indignant at even the suggestion.

She bent down, ignoring the ice cold snow, and knelt beside the Unicorn, running her hands gently along the velvet coat in a caress.

She continued to mutter to the Unicorn, keeping her voice calm and steady.

'Tha's amazin'' Hagrid muttered, and Sirius' gaze flickered to the man curiously.

'What d'you –' Sirius began, but was interrupted by another shriek from the Unicorn as its body jolted with a wave of agony.

'I know, I know' he heard Alina mutter 'stay calm, it won't be long –'

As if her words held magic of their own, the Unicorn immediately fell silent and lay still, breathing heavily but appearing far calmer.

'They're comin'' Hagrid remarked.

Any preconceived ideas of gore and horror that Sirius had held over what they were about to witness immediately vanished from his mind.

As the Unicorn pushed its first foal into the world, it seemed as if they were engulfed by a heavenly aroma; a strange wave of serenity embraced them, and the air was filled with an electric humming that vibrated pleasantly into their very cores. A light, so bright that it seemed surreal emitted from the Unicorns body, illuminating Alina's golden hair and causing them all to gasp audibly.

It was beautiful.

As the first foal left its mother, its sheer golden coat beaming from amongst the pure white snow, Sirius found his attention brought to another beautiful sight.

Alina's face was alight with happiness; the expression was so sincere, so vibrant, it was as if he were witnessing her smile for the first time.

_Perhaps this was the first time she had shown such simple happiness._

Her blue eyes sparkled with emotion as they gazed adoringly down upon the tiny creature, which was clumsily attempting to climb onto its rather wobbly legs.

'It's all right beautiful' Alina breathed 'slowly does it…'

The mother Unicorn let out a loud, heaving sigh, as the third, and final Unicorn foal was born, and slowly, she shifted her weight and scrambled upright in preparation to feed her young.

The final two foals, after a few stumbles and falls, rushed to their mother…but it was the first foal that captured Sirius' attention.

The foal had barely acknowledged its mother or its brother and sister…instead its eyes remained entirely fixated upon Alina, who in turn was gazing back at it.

Sirius almost averted his eyes, feeling as though he were interrupting a private moment.

They both paused for a second, and Alina's face broke into a wide, welcoming smile...before it bolted, full pelt forwards, and straight into her outstretched arms.

'Unbelievable' Hagrid shook his head 'I've never seen anythin' like that –'

'Like what?' Sirius questioned, his eyes fixed on the girl and the foal before him.

'Unicorns are nervous creatures…their blood runs pure yeh see' Hagrid told him 'so it's rare they take to humans…for a foal act like tha'…well, it's unheard of'

'She's not a normal girl' Sirius replied quietly.

'Yeh got tha' right' Hagrid agreed 'Perhaps Dumbledore's righ' –'

'Dumbledore? Right about what?' Sirius demanded as Hagrid caught himself from continuing, his face growing beetroot.

'Nothin', nothing.' Hagrid retorted, refusing to meet Sirius' eyes 'Now…Alina – it's importan' tha' the foal gets to bond with his mother – we should let them be for now'

Disappointment clouded Alina's eyes at his words, but she nodded mutely, gently stroking the foal's nose.

'I'll be back soon to visit' she whispered, kissing the golden creature gently.

Sirius' eyes flickered from Alina and the foal to the large man standing at the edge of the paddock, and he noted the thoughtful expression on Hagrid's face as he studied them.

Something was going on; and he wanted to find out what.

It was a quiet walk back to the common room, but instead of the previous awkward silence, it seemed contemplative and peaceful.

When they said their goodnights, it wasn't friendly, but the small smile and lack of malice in Alina's tone gave Sirius hope that one day, at least their friendship could be furridged from the mess that he had created.

And he would take that over nothing.

* * *

It was Thursday afternoon, and the final lesson of the day.

James and Sirius were whispering conspiringly to one another, heads bent over a piece of parchment in front of them, and much to Alina's despair Polly and Lily were still feverishly scribbling down notes as Professor Blyton rambled on tirelessly.

Amongst her boredom and irritation, it was a flicker of discomfort and dread twisting in the pit of her stomach that had caught her attention.

Shivering, and swallowing down the nausea that was a result of the sensation, Alina allowed her eyes to wander the classroom, a prickling on the back of her neck telling her to be wary.

_What the hell is this…_

As her eyes studied each pupil's face, the dread in the pit of her stomach seemed to inflame and a jolt of terror hit her like a ton of bricks.

Her breath caught, her stomach contorted as if she had been winded, and her eyes froze on Remus Lupin.

Once again, the waves of emotion that seemed to emit from him were feral and harsh and instead of questioning what was causing her to sense such feelings, she instead found herself physically urging that she run away.

He was dangerous.

Her jaw clenched, and her fingers curled tightly around her wand, she narrowed her eyes and concentrated on studying the boy.

His skin was pale and clammy, his forehead coated with a thin layer of sweat. His eyes, normally alight with intelligence and humour were dark and underlined with deep purple bags.

It was only now that Alina noticed the thin, almost invisible scar that ran from the left corner of his jaw and along the side of his cheek, finishing just below his ear lobe…

'What am I doing.' She whispered to herself, shaking her head.

Remus was her friend. He was one of the kindest and friendliest people she knew; how could she study him as if he were a potential enemy…

Perhaps he could sense that he was being watched, or perhaps it was just coincidence, but it was at that moment that Remus chose to raise his eyes and connect with her own.

Seeing her watching, he flashed her a small, surprised smile; a smile which immediately faltered upon registering the expression that must have been plastered on her face.

She bit her lip and tore her gaze from his.

_Stop being stupid._

But she couldn't help it. Despite her mind telling her that she was ridiculous, the twisting sensation in her stomach told her otherwise.

The second the bell went, she rushed from her seat, dashing as quickly as she could from the classroom and into the corridor for fresh air.

'Excuse me, excuse me!' she called, pushing past her classmates almost frantically.

Lily watched in surprise as her friend rushed from the classroom, frowning in concern. Collecting her things quickly, and shoving them messily into her bag, she did not pause to converse with Polly and instead rushed after Alina.

'Alli?' Remus' voice sounded above the chattering students and Alina cursed silently.

_Leave me alone, leave me alone._

'Alli?'

Her heart jolted as the voice was suddenly far too proximate, and she almost cried out in shock as she felt a warm hand grasp her shoulder.

_Not a warm hand…a hot hand…a much too hot hand._

'Y-yes?' she replied tightly, turning to face Remus, who was frowning at her in confusion.

'Are you all right?' Remus asked gently, his face soft with concern, but his body radiating waves of aggression.

'I-I –' Alina's thoughts were muddled 'you look really sick…again'

Remus flinched at her words, and she finally met his gaze steadily, almost accusingly.

Remus' eyes widened slightly, and he drew back, his arm dropping to his side as her eyes glared into his.

'I'm fine' he muttered, before forcing a smile onto his lips and attempting to be casual throwing an arm over her shoulder 'you sure you're feeling all –'

He didn't have a chance to finish his sentence, instead a wave of such intense darkness bombarded Alina, that she physically tore herself away from Remus, stumbling backwards a few steps and staring wide eyed at the boy.

'Don't touch me' she told him, her breath heavy, and instead of waiting for a response, she gave into her senses and fled.

* * *

'Alli? Alli! ALLI!'

Thankfully, it wasn't Remus' cry that chased her into the empty corridor on the fourth floor, and Alina slowed her pace, turning to meet her approaching friend.

'Alli…what – the – hell?' Lily gasped, leaning on her knees for support when she came to a halt.

'I – I – Lily I think there's something wrong with me' Alina gushed, her mind in a whirlwind of panic as thoughts kept erratically throwing themselves forward.

'What – what d'you mean?' Lily asked, sounding concerned.

'I – I don't know…it's crazy…but I could feel – it – it's Remus' Alina spluttered, unable to make sense of anything in her mind 'he's not safe. There's something wrong with _him! _Or maybe it's just me – maybe I'm crazy…no!'

She paused for a moment, staring seriously into her friends bright green eyes, suddenly very sure of herself.

She was _not _crazy.

'Remus isn't safe. I don't know _why _but I know that he's…something's not…he's not _right._ Oh God…I have to tell Polly, she needs to – but Remus is our friend – '

'Alli stop!' Lily demanded suddenly, reaching out and grasping Alina tightly by each shoulder, not missing the shudder that shot through her friend at the sudden contact.

'Alina you need to listen to me' she told her slowly, her voice grave 'and you need to trust me…'

Alina nodded mutely.

Lily looked over her shoulders, apparently checking that they were alone, before drawing her wand.

'Muffliato' she muttered, and turned back to Alina.

'Remus is perfectly safe –'

'-no Lily –' Lily rose her hand to cut off Alina's protest.

'- I _haven't _finished' she told her 'he's perfectly safe _right now._'

'What do you mean?' Alina breathed.

'Alli…' Lily looked torn for a moment 'Alli you can't tell anyone, you have to promise me –'

'I promise' Alina nodded furtively, holding her breath.

'Alli, Remus is a Werewolf.'

A buzzing sound seemed to ring in Alina's ears, and she was certain it had nothing to do with the Muffliato that Lily had previously cast.

She stared wide-eyed at her friend, waiting for her to crack a smile and inform her that it was a joke.

Lily's expression remained serious.

'So…he – but – how? Since when?' Alina managed to force out 'does Polly –'

'Polly doesn't know' Lily informed her 'and she won't find out until Remus is ready to tell her, all right?'

Alina nodded dumbly.

'I don't know the ins and outs of it all – I only know because Sev figured it out…'

'Snivillus knows?'

'He had a rough idea back in fifth year, and thanks to Sirius his suspicions were apparently confirmed at the beginning of this year –'

'What d'you –'

'I don't know much Alli…I only know what Sev has told me, and most of that has been sadly out of spite – I didn't get a chance to ask questions. But I know it's true, I've watched him and he disappears each month –'

Alina shook her head in disbelief, trying to get her mind around the idea.

'Poor Remus' she sighed, suddenly feeling extremely guilty at her behaviour 'it must be so painful…'

'I think Dumbledore takes him somewhere each month for the transformation…at least that's my guess' Lily shrugged 'but the worrying part...the worrying part is that I think the others have something to do with it'

Lily's voice was now an extremely quiet whisper, and Alina realised that this was something she had been agonizing over for months.

'What do you mean 'something to do with it.'?' Alina asked her slowly.

'You know we thought that they choose a night every now and then to run around and do their stupid pranks?' Lily asked her, and Alina nodded , thinking back on the countless times the four boys had appeared for breakfast covered with cuts and bruises.

Catching on to where Lily was going, a wave of nausea flipped Alina's stomach.

'You don't mean –'she breathed, horrified 'but that would be so _stupid! _Surely they can't be _that –'_

'- this is the '_Marauders' _we're talking about' Lily reminded her, and Alina fell silent.

The thought of the boys even contemplating going near Remus during his transformation sending chills down her spine.

'Anyway' Lily continued, a minute later 'how did you know something was wrong with Remus?'

Alina paused at the question, frowning in thought.

_How did she know?_

'I really don't know Lil…It was like I could sense something horrible around him…or in him?' seeing Lily's concerned gaze, Alina broke off and shrugged 'I don't know Lil…but I intend to find out.'

_**Thank you for all your reviews, please, please, please keep them coming they really make my day!**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine:**

'Where are the boys Peter?' Lily asked the fair haired boy, who was helping himself to a sausage.

It was the last day of term and Peter, rather unusually, was sitting alone at breakfast.

Having been addressed by Lily, Peter's eyes, which had been fixed intently on the food he was piling onto his plate, shifted and began to dart nervously.

'I-I erm…' he stuttered, nibbling on his bottom lip and his cheeks deepening to a heated blush.

'_Pete?' _Lily insisted, her tone matching the suspicion that Alina was feeling.

'I-I don't know. W-Why would you want to know? Who _cares!' _he blurted, finishing with a squeak and a face that had reached an impressive red.

'Bloody hell Peter!' Alice replied in alarm 'you really need to relax or you'll end up wetting yourself!'

'_Again' _Alina muttered, causing Alice to snigger.

'I've got to go!' Peter cried, and clumsily stumbled from his seat and trotted from the Great Hall.

'He's a strange one, that boy' Lily sighed, but a thin crease between her eyes remained as she stared at the, now four, empty seats opposite them.

* * *

'I'm going to _kill _him when I see him' Sirius spat, his face pale and eyes dark with fury.

'Sirius, calm down –' James began, but earned a snort in response.

'- calm down? The git did a runner on us! If I hadn't caught Remus when I did he could have really hurt you!'

James sighed, it was true, if Sirius hadn't intervened at the right time Remus would have caused him a lot more damage than the dislocated shoulder he was currently sporting.

'But you _did _stop him and I was okay –'James began lamely, but was interrupted again.

'-forget about what could have happened to you then, imagine what it would have done to Remus?'

James felt a wave of nausea rush through him at the thought.

'James – _I _hurt him enough by pulling that prank on Snape and Remus doesn't even like Snape! Just think what he'd be like if he had really hurt you? Peter shouldn't have run away like that, he's supposed to be our mate!'

James stayed silent. He couldn't argue with that.

Peter had scurried away at the very worst part of Remus' transformation; at the most violent and dangerous moment. He had let them down, and thankfully nobody had been hurt by it.

'James?' a voice called from behind himself and Sirius.

He turned at the sound and flinched as his shoulder brushed against the castle wall, drawing in a sharp intake of breath.

His stomach lurched in a familiar flip and he tried to force a casual grin onto his tired face.

'Hi Lily' he greeted warmly 'Alina' he added, nodding to her companion.

'What happened to you?' Lily gasped, and James cursed himself inwardly.

Her bright green eyes were wide with concern as they absorbed the sorry state of the two boys before her. She stared from his arm, which was wrapped into a makeshift sling, the dried blood that coated his hairline and the swelling of his lower lip.

He didn't know what to respond with and thankfully, she did not wait for an answer.

'You need to go to the Hospital Wing!' she continued, and James froze in panic.

'N-no! No we can't…I mean we don't need to go to the hospital wing. Do we Sirius?'

Turning to his friend, he became aware of Alina's steady gaze. Her blue eyes were fixed on them both, inspecting both of them as if trying to piece together a puzzle in her mind, she shuddered for a moment as her eyes fell on the thick cut along Sirius' neck .

'Lily can heal you' she stated simply, turning to her friend.

'In the Common Room' Lily nodded 'Let's go –'

'But you've got Ancient Ru-'

'-I'll miss it' Lily shrugged, turning with a swish of her red hair and marching in the direction of the common room.

'-b-but she's Lily!' James spluttered 'she doesn't _miss _lessons!'

* * *

'How's Remus?'

James jolted at her question and narrowed his eyes questioningly. Lily kept her expression blank.

'He wasn't feeling well the other day?' she continued calmly 'is he still in the Hospital Wing?'

'O-Oh!' James replied, and Lily could see him visibly relax 'yeah, but he should be out by this evening.'

'This may sting a little' Lily told him 'I'm going to put your arm back into place – the pain may be a little sharp.'

'Pain is my middle na-'

'Fixestia'

'-OUCH!'

Lily couldn't stop the light chuckle and grinned widely as he eyed her darkly.

'A _little _pain?' he gasped, and she shrugged.

'I thought pain was your middle name?' she asked lightly.

James blinked, his heart rate increasing slightly as he realised that she was teasing him. Not teasing in the normal sense, when Lily Evan's 'teased' him, he could expect a sharp knock to his ego and possibly a rather vicious hex or two, no, this form of teasing was gentle, and light-hearted, and…flirty?

A light blush crept across Lily's cheeks as she realised the same thing, and she silently attended to the various scratches coating his skin.

'Whatever you did…you need to be more careful' she spoke quietly, not meeting his gaze.

They sat peacefully for a few more minutes, before Lily raised her eyes and indicated with them, to her left.

James followed her gaze and raised an eyebrow, Alina and Sirius were sitting, albeit not cosily, within speaking distance to one another, and were making conversation – something that they had not done within the last week.

'Maybe they'll work things out?' he suggested, but Lily's expression remained doubtful.

'I don't know…she won't admit it but I think he really hurt her'

James sighed and his eyes fell upon Alina again, examining closed expression.

'She doesn't make sense to me' he stated, and felt Lily's eyes burning into him.

'What do you mean?' Lily's voice was carefully controlled, although her interest was obvious.

'She's nice, she can be funny…she gets on with most people…'he began.

'-but?'

'But, she can be really – not very nice sometimes…and rude-'

'I wouldn't call it rude' Lily reasoned 'I'd call it cold.'

James nodded.

Cold was a good description.

'I think she's just a closed book.' James shrugged 'it's hard to know what she's thinking…but that's my opinion, you obviously know her much better than me –'

'The sad thing is' Lily muttered 'I probably don't.'

* * *

Rumor had it, amongst the Gryffindor's, that there had been an all mighty row in the Marauder's Dormitory.

The whispers inferred that Sirius, backed up by James, had unleashed a torrent of rage upon Peter Pettigrew, and it was a mystery to all of those not involved, what Peter had done to provoke such a reaction – it was of the opinion of most that Peter was a rather harmless boy.

Over dinner, Sirius and James had sat stubbornly separate to the nervous looking boy, with Sirius' face of relentless anger and James' expression of discomfort, and it wasn't until later that evening, once the boys were reunited with their fourth member, that the divide ceased.

Remus Lupin had spoken a few words with Peter, and suddenly the rift was over, with all four boys sitting merrily in the Common Room as if nothing had happened, completely baffling everyone else.

Later that evening, the girls joined Remus and Peter in the chairs nearest the fire, the Common Room gradually emptying as the other students went to bed in preparation for the early rise for their journey home in the morning.

'I can't believe it's the last time I'll be going home for Christmas –'Alice began, before she was drowned out by cries of anguish at her statement.

'Alice this has really got to stop!' Lily laughed.

'-and we're not even going to all be on the train _together!' _Alice continued nevertheless.

'Polly and Remus are going home' Alina told her calmly.

'And they'll spend the whole time flirting' she muttered, mutinously, much to the chagrin of Polly and Remus.

'And you and Frank will spend the whole time snogging!' Lily grinned, causing Alice's face to immediately light up.

Alina was sitting in her armchair positively radiating joy. With Lily and James, Sirius and Peter staying at Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays, she was positive she was going to have possibly the best Christmas ever.

A loud bark of laughter caught her attention and brought her out of her thoughts and back to her surroundings. Along with the others, she turned towards the sound and saw James and Sirius appear from the boy's dormitory staircase.

She immediately narrowed her eyes with suspicion. James' brown eyes were alight with excitement and Sirius had a faint tinge to his normally porcelain skin. James elbowed Sirius in the ribs and with a muffled whisper, they both grinned at their friends.

'What have you done?' Remus asked them, warily.

'Nothing' James grinned, his eyes flickering to Sirius.

'I was just wondering who you fancy, Remus?' James asked suddenly, and with a lightning fast movement he launched what appeared to be a bright orange ball at his friend.

In turn, Remus twisted his hand and caught the ball before it collided with his face, whilst Polly simultaneously cried out in warning.

'NO!'

Her cry was futile, the ball was firmly clasped in Remus' palm and he stared down at it in horror.

'This isn't a –?' he began.

'Oh indeed it is' Sirius grinned.

As he spoke, the ball turned from orange into a bright blue and Remus' expression grew more and more nervous before he opened his mouth and blurted out –

'POLLY'

He clamped his jaw shut and narrowed his eyes at his two hysterically laughing friends, as Polly blushed deeply.

'Wha- what _is _that?' Peter asked, utterly bemused.

'A truth ball' Remus replied through clenched teeth 'anyone holding one can ask a question and whomever it next connects with will answer it truthfully…they're banned from Hogwarts' he frowned.

'Banned from Hogwarts?' Lily cried 'they're illegal unless you have a license for one!'

'Who says we don't have a license!' Sirius replied smugly.

'Well _do you?' _Lily asked, and both boys looked sheepish 'exactly! Now if we just hand it in to Filch and then we won't get into tro –'

'- what's your mum's nickname for you?' Remus suddenly interrupted Lily and launched the ball towards James, who despite his quick seeker's reflexes, was unable to dive out of the way in time and the ball collided with his shoulder and immediately turned a bright blue.

'No, no, no, no – JAMMY DODGER!' James' face was a deep crimson as they all erupted into a peal of laughter.

The next few minutes consisted of screams and yells as the seventeen year old witches and wizards ran around the room like infant children, throwing the ball at one another and laughing as answers were yelled.

'WHO DO YOU THINK IS THE BEST LOOKING BOY AT HOGWARTS –' screamed Alice and as the ball hit Lily square in the back who shouted, much to everyone's amusement –

'JAMES POTTER!'

'WHO WAS THE FIRST PERSON YOU KISSED –'

'WHICH TEACHER DO YOU FANCY?'

They continued in the same fashion until Lily caught the ball, and pausing for a moment, taking a deep breath, she turned towards James, and speaking quietly –

'Why don't you ask me out anymore?'

James caught the ball with surprise and as it flashed blue he met her gaze as he replied.

'Because it hurts when you turn me down.'

Before anyone had a chance to respond, he threw the ball back to Lily.

'Why do you want to know?'

Lily blushed as the ball once again changed colour.

'Because I want you to ask me again.'

The room had fallen silent, the atmosphere charged with disbelief and excitement from each of them.

James' eyes widened and his jaw slackened with shock.

'Erm..Prongs? Say something?' Remus suggested, and James blinked.

'W-will you go out with me?' he breathed.

The ball rolled from Lily's palm and onto the floor as her hand loosened and she gazed steadily into James' chocolate eyes.

'Yes' she replied softly, her lips twisting into a small smile.

It took only a second for James to cross the room to reach her, and even less than that to lower his face and connect his lips with hers.

Their kiss was met with the cries and woops of their friends, but they barely heard the cheering; they were only aware of one another.

'Erm…Okay…well ' Lily spluttered as she broke the kiss, her cheeks flushed and her and James' mouths stretched into identical grins.

'I was just about to suggest that you two get a room' Sirius chuckled, but cut off quickly as James jerked forwards, snatching the ball from the floor and catapulted it at his grinning friend.

'WHO WAS YOUR FIRST KISS?'

Sirius' face paled and his eyes widened.

'DORIS BURGESS' he announced, earning bellows of laughter from his friends at the mention of a rather plump, unattractive Ravenclaw.

Blushing furiously, Sirius' eyes scanned the room before settling on Peter, a wicked glint forming in his eyes.

'N-N-No Sirius!' the boy squeaked, beginning to run for cover.

Sirius ignored his pleas and drew his arm back, taking aim.

Alina widened her eyes as Peter, moving faster than she had ever seen him move, bolted towards her and she drew in a breath as she prepared for a collision.

'ARE YOU A VIRGIN?' Sirius' voice yelled, filled with unconcealed glee.

As Sirius threw the ball, Peter dived into the air and into safety behind the form of Alina.

There was nothing to be done; there was no way to escape the inevitable.

'No' Alina whispered and let out a small gasp as the orange ball hit her in the chest.

Her entire body began to shake, her heart began to thump wildly and thick waves of dread vibrated ominously in the pit of her stomach.

Sirius' expression was one of mild disappointment, shrugging as he waited for the answer that he was certain he would hear.

Alina closed her eyes, knowing that the ball was changing colour, knowing that every person in the room expected the same answer to fall from her lips.

For she was Alina, the girl who had never shown even a glimmer of interest in a boy apart from Sirius, who as far as they were concerned had never even had her first kiss…

She felt the compulsion; she tried with every atom in her body to fight against the sensation. She closed her throat, she bit her lip painfully and clenched her teeth, but her resistance was futile.

'NO'

The word was strangled as it tore from her throat, and the silence that followed was almost tangible.

She opened her eyes and as a thick lump formed painfully in her throat she allowed her pupils to wander across the faces of her friends.

She saw Remus and Polly, their faces frozen in utter shock.

She reached Alice, whose eyes were exuding disbelief.

But it was as her eyes fell upon Lily and Sirius that the dread in her stomach erupted into excruciating terror.

Their faces were contorted into identical expressions of shock and betrayal.

Lily's eyes were seeping with shock and hurt, Alina could almost read her best friend's mind; seven years of friendship, how could she keep this from her?

'I-I-' Alina began.

'Who? When?' Lily demanded as her hurt transferred into anger.

Alina paused for a moment, staring at her friend as panic built in her chest.

What could she say? She couldn't possibly tell her the truth…but could she lie?

She swallowed the lump in her throat, and keeping her expression neutral she averted her eyes from Lily's accusing green ones.

'That's no one else's business' she stated blandly.

'Nothing to do with you ever seems to be anybody else's business' Lily snapped, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of emotions and Alina flinched.

Alina flickered her eyes and felt a pang in her chest as she acknowledged Sirius' crestfallen expression.

_Why should I care? He hurt me._

But her mind had no control over her emotions and her stomach sunk at the pain in his grey eyes.

She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but no sound came out. Instead, she was saved by the portrait swinging open revealing, to her utter surprise, Professor McGonagall.

'Ah Miss Blake!' she spoke in her Scottish lilt 'I was just coming to find you'

'W-Were you?' Alina managed to choke out, breaking the icy silence that had engulfed the room.

'I think it's best if you come with me, there is something I must speak to you about' McGonagall continued, her voice gentle and her eyes sympathetic.

'What's happened? What is it?' Alina immediately asked, knowing that something was wrong.

Professor McGonagall's eyes glanced around the room at the group of students, her eyes resting upon the Truth Ball and as she chose to ignore it, Alina knew it was serious.

'Tell me' she replied, making no effort to move.

'I'd rather them be with me' she added, noting Professor McGonagall's reluctance to speak in front of her friends.

The woman took in a deep breath and kept her eyes fixed steadily on Alina's.

'It's your father' she stated 'he's had a heart attack.'

**A big chapter! So they've found out a part of Alina's secret - what do you think will happen next? Like it? Hate it? Love it? Please let me know :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

The silence, if possible, seemed to deepen. No one dared to even breathe as they all looked in alarm at Alina. Lily felt horrified, immediately forgetting her anger and looking at her friend in concern.

'Is he dead?' Alina asked.

'No dear, he is in hospital though, recovering. It was quite serious' she said soothingly.

'Okay then' Alina said coolly, looking perfectly fine and nonplussed.

'Professor Dumbledore required that I leave you with your friends for at the most an hour, and requires you to go to his office by eleven, he will arrange a port key to take you home.'

Alina's head jerked up at this.

'Home?' she echoed. 'Why?' she blurted out.

Everyone looked at her in shock.

'Because your fathers just had a heart attack Alli' Sirius told her slowly, worried that she had fallen into shock.

'I'm not going home' Alina said calmly.

'Well erm' Professor McGonagall stuttered, looking baffled.

'You will go to the Headmaster anyway, and you can discuss it then, I'm sure you are in shock. I shall leave you to the comfort of your friends' she finished, looking at her sympathetically and then leaving the Common Room.

'I'm going to have another firewhisky, anyone else?' Alina attempted to continue casually.

'ALLI!' Lily snapped, causing her friend to freeze mid-step.

'Yes?' she raised an eyebrow.

'Your – father –has – had – a – heart attack' she said, exaggerating every word.

'Yes I know, I heard' Alina said casually.

'Then why are you acting so cold? I get that you don't tell me everything' she paused, stifling the irritation as she thought of the recently revealed secret 'but acting like you don't care about your fathers_ health? _Come on Alina, that's just cold!' she hissed.

'I'm not acting anything Lily, I generally don't care! He's fine! You heard her!' Alina snapped back, panic once again tightening her chest.

She looked around, and saw the same expression on all of her friends' faces. The look of bewilderment, shock, and disgust mixed into one.

'Look, he's going to be fine…I want to stay here for Christmas!' she explained.

'You're pathetic' the acid in Sirius' tone alarmed her and she looked at him to find his eyes burning.

'You have lived a privileged life…your father has loads of money, buying you whatever you want. You have never had to suffer, had to want anything. It was always right there, put in front of you. You have travelled. Met the BLOODY QUEEN! And you are that spoilt, that unthankful that you can't even visit your father in hospital! What about your mum?'

Alina felt like she was floating, it was as if her mind had decided that she couldn't take any more of this and disconnected with her body. The pain. The sound of Sirius blasting her on her treatment of her family caused something to break within her.

She turned away from him, Polly looked away from her gaze, refusing to make eye contact, and she looked pleadingly at Remus.

'No Alina.' He said quietly. 'I will not defend the way you are acting. You should go.'

And she did. She went up to her dormitory, praying that her legs would carry her up the stairs. She began throwing her stuff into her trunk but had to stop. Her hands were shaking so severely that she could no longer pick anything up. She collapsed onto her bed. She had not prepared for this, the sudden news of returning home. She tried to calm herself down, beginning to hyperventilate. She was terrified. Every inch of her body was screaming out in refusal to leave. But she knew she had too. Now she had no choice in the matter.

It took her a further half an hour to regain her composure; she finished packing her trunk, and levitating it behind her, slowly made her way down to the common room. As soon as she entered the room, everyone fell completely silent, making her painfully aware that they had been talking about her.

Alina felt her hands begin to tremble, as the feeling of betrayal consumed her. She clenched her robes for support, and walked over to her friends until she was standing directly in front of them.

They all stared back at her, looking confused, as if waiting for a sudden outburst of emotion. She was completely aware of how she was supposed to be acting by their standards. She should be crying, shaking, rushing around in panic to get home. But it angered her that they had turned on her because of it.

'You have no idea about my life' she stated quietly, not meeting any of her friends gazes and failing to surpress the slight tremble in her voice.

'It _hurts_ that because you do not understand, that you can't put trust in me as your friend. And Sirius…'

Sirius looked up, a mixture of confusion and the remaining anger in his eyes. She raised her eyes and looked straight at him, feeling her eyes burn with unshed tears. She paused for a moment as she blinked them away, feeling herself growing angry.

'How dare you be such a hypocrite?' she spat.

Sirius blinked in shock as she narrowed her eyes at him.

'How can someone like you who claims to hate their family, who has moved out to escape them, judge anyone else for their behaviour to their own family?'

'Because you don't understa-'Sirius began.

'No. You are right. I do _not _understand. But you cannot presume to understand mine. You know _nothing_ about my family. None of you do. If happiness and love came down to riches and status, surely you would be happy with your family Sirius? But it doesn't. So next time you start to judge someone; don't.'

Sirius opened his mouth angrily to respond but Remus interrupted.

'We're not turning our backs on you Alli…but I'm sure you will regret it if you don't go home' he calmly stated, trying to reason with her.

'Well as far as I'm concerned you are. I put a _lot _of trust in you Remus. I would never turn my back on you, no matter what _time _of the month it is' she looked at him intently; glad to see the shock on his face.

'Goodbye' she said quietly, feeling her bottom lip tremble. She turned and walked away, her head held high.

'Alli!' she heard Lily call, quickly making to come after her.

'Impedimenta' Alina whispered, pointing her wand over her shoulder.

'Oh'

Alina heard Lily's small noise of surprise as she found herself unable to run after her, and she moved quickly, making her way straight to Dumbledore's office.

* * *

Once outside her headmaster's office, she stopped for a moment, taking slow, deep breaths to calm herself down. She felt nervous, but knew she had to conceal it. Running her hands through her hair, she knocked on Dumbledore's door, silently urging herself to remain calm.

'Come in'

As she entered the room, the sympathetic look that Dumbledore was looking at her with made her feel even more nervous.

She always felt uncomfortable around Dumbledore, she respected him of course, but the way his eyes pierced into yours as if looking into your soul made her feel incredibly uneasy.

'Take a seat Miss Blake' he paused for a moment and then looked at her intently. She looked back, mentally coaching herself to keep breathing slowly, to close off her feelings and appear indifferent. Dumbledore's eyebrows creased and he blinked quickly, looking away from her for a moment.

'I understand you did not wish to return home?' he asked gently.

'Oh, well, it was a shock…but I understand now, and I do want to go home…of course I do'

Dumbledore looked at her, his eyes burning with questions. She pleaded silently, begging him to leave her alone.

'Is there anything you wish to talk about?' he asked her softly, sounding so kind, so concerned that she wished she could have poured out her soul to him.

'No' she replied firmly, refraining from looking at him.

She jumped at the feeling of something heavy on her leg. She looked down and smiled.

'Hello you' she mumbled, gazing at the Phoenix.

'That's Fawkes' Dumbledore smiled at her 'he seems to like you'

She smiled back at him, gently stroking the beautiful bird.

'Tell me Alina, do you find that animals tend to take an uncommon liking to you?' Dumbledore asked, watching her behavior with Fawkes intently.

'Erm…I guess so…yes –why?' she asked looking back at him in confusion.

Dumbledore sat back in his chair and looked at her in wonder.

'Oh nothing' he shook his head lightly, still smiling. 'Now, I think it is about time for you to get going Alli'

She felt the panic immediately begin flowing throughout her body. She kept her voice completely steady however.

'Yes, I should go now'

'Now take hold of this broken pencil, it will take you straight into your kitchen in about 30 seconds.'

She grabbed hold of it, her heart pounding painfully in her chest, her throat constricting.

'Goodbye Alina, I shall see you after Christmas. Have a nice time, and…be strong!'

As she felt the sudden pull of the port key, Dumbledore's words kept repeating over and over in her mind. 'Be strong.' She knew that he had no idea of the significance in them, but they remained at the front of her mind, and she knew that she would have to follow them.

* * *

She landed awkwardly, falling flat on her face onto the kitchen floor. The sound of cold laughter reached her ears and she looked up in a mixture of panic and confusion.

'You're supposed to be in hospital!' she gasped, looking up at her father.

'Well, we all tell fibs every now and then don't we Li' he said coldly. She flinched at the nickname he always gave her.

'My name is Alina' she grumbled, immediately regretting saying anything at the look of anger her words caused.

'Get up' he snapped, pulling her roughly by the arm. Once she was standing before him she felt sick at the hungry look in his eyes.

'Wand' he stated, holding out his hand, and she immediately handed it over to him. Suddenly feeling ten times more vulnerable without it. She was struggling to keep her breath even, feeling intoxicated by the fear that was radiating from deep inside her.

'Dad' she breathed, looking at him pleadingly.

She saw the flash of anger in his lustful gaze and she held in the scream as his powerful fist connected with her face. She could taste the blood on her lip, and immediately knew it had burst.

The beating did not stop however; when the second fist hit her in the same spot she could not stop the yelp of pain as she was knocked to the floor.

'MUM? MUM! MUM!'

She had learnt a long time ago that crying for help was futile, that it only seemed to enrage her father further, but her desperation threw away all logic. It did not matter that even if her mother did hear her she would not come to her aid, she would try anything to get away from her father's violence.

She desperately tried to protect herself, cradling her head, and curling into a tight ball, but it was useless.

The blows were coming from all angles. The punches to the head, the kicks to her stomach. At one point she became aware of a puddle of dampness under her head, and vaguely acknowledged it being her own blood.

And then it stopped. For a moment, a flicker of hope appeared through the pain. She lay still, trying to figure out where her most severe injuries were. Something that felt so painfully familiar, from years of practice It was the sound of heavy breathing which warned her that he was still present and she felt her heart sink. She felt him grab her by the hair, drag her towards the staircase, up the stairs. She heard the screaming before she realised it was her own. And she felt her body struggling against him as he ripped off her clothes and threw her onto her bed.

And then she lay still. She just accepted what it was. She closed her eyes, and allowed herself to sink into the darkness. To the place where no one could find her.

She went completely, and uncontrollably numb.

**Please review - I hope you liked the chapter.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

Weeks turned into hours, hours merged with minutes and pretty soon Alina had no sense of time whatsoever. She ate and drank in the kitchen, but other than that she rarely left the confines of her bedroom. She often felt as if she were merely a spectator on her life, watching her body move, yet not feeling, not tasting, and not really living.

She had stopped screaming, crying out for help when her father attacked her, abused her. She had accepted how pointless it was. Yet through the numbness, deep down, a tiny flame of life flickered within her. When she was finally able to sleep peacefully she dreamt of Sirius, she was at the Ball and she was dancing with him, resting her head on his shoulder. It was these dreams in which she awoke from crying hysterically, it was the only time she felt the overwhelming sense of loss, the misery and the pain that she locked away deep in side.

'Alina!' the loud cry of her mother echoed down the hallway.

Alina sat up in alarm; her mother had barely said a word to her since she had arrived home. She had barely looked at her, let alone called for her. She quickly jumped up, ignoring the protests from every muscle in her body, flinching she made her way towards her mothers bedroom, as quickly as her battered body would allow her.

Alina peered around the door and saw her mother still sitting in bed, despite it being 3 in the afternoon. Taking in her appearance, she realised it was one of her mothers good days, and felt the closest to happy she had been since she left Hogwarts.

'Hello darling' her mother smiled, looking so loving and warm, that Alina immediately rushed to her.

'Mummy' she whispered, her voicing braking. She realised how childish she sounded, but it was so rare for her mother to be in such a good way that she didn't care. All she wanted was the comfort that should be found in a mother.

For a moment she just lay next to her mother in silence, taking solace in the arms wrapped around her. It was the sound of sobbing which broke Alina from her peace, and she looked up at her mother warily.

'Mum?' she asked in concern 'why are you crying?'

She felt her heart sink as she realised those precious few minutes were all that she was to have with her mother.

'I've tried, I've tried, I've tried' he mother repeated over and over between her sobs.

'Shhh shhh, it's okay mum, it's alright' she stroked her mother's hair, desperately trying to console her.

'No, no, no!' she shouted, breaking away from Alina.

'Mummy shhh, Daddy's having a meeting downstairs he'll hear you' Alina pleaded. Her pleading was wasted on her mother whose eyes were wild, as she struggled against her daughter.

'Need a drink' she was mumbling to herself as she pushed Alina away and tried to get out of bed.

'No, you don't, you don't!' Alina cried, trying to sound convincing.

'It's because of you!' her mother spat at her.

'Mum…'

'GET AWAY! GET AWAY!'

Alina jumped back in alarm at her mother's hysterical screaming, and she froze at the sound of quickly approaching footsteps on the stairs.

'Daddy's coming! Be quiet…please, please!' she begged, trying to hush her screaming mother, who had her back pressed right back into the corner.

The door swung open, and Alina stared into the furious eyes of her father.

'What is the meaning of this?' he hissed.

Alina stayed silent, not knowing what to say. All that could be heard were the sobs of her mother.

'Shut up' he told her, striding over to her and slapping her around the face.

'She wants a drink and I was trying to stop…'

'For gods sake give her one then!' he snapped, turning to leave the room 'oh, and you're going to pay for causing this…disruption' he glanced over his shoulder and then stomped down the stairs.

Shaking silently, Alina unlocked the bed side cupboard and got out a large bottle of Vodka, she watched as her mother's eyes lit up, watching the bottle intently.

'Come back to bed mum' Alina sighed.

Her mother complied with her request and snatched the bottle from her daughter's hands.

Alina watched her in pity and disgust. She shook her head at her stupidity for letting herself believe that her mother's kindness would last more than a few minutes.

She had always tried to make time for Alina, tried to be a good mother, but within minutes her mood swung and she always wanted to be as far away from Alina as she could.

She let out a sigh and turned to leave.

'I did try to love you'

Alina froze as the words cut into her like a thousand knives. And not bothering to reply, she made her way back to her own room, to wait for whatever her father would do to her next.

* * *

Upon entering her room, Alina was greeted by a loud tapping on her window. She looked over and was greeted by the site of Aldwynn, Lily's owl.

She opened the window and took the letter off of the owl. She opened it and sat on her bed to read it.

_Alli._

_I have been your friend since first year. We have been through everything together. So I think it's only fair that I tell you when you are being a pigheaded arseehole – you're being a pigheaded arsehole! _

_I have sent you sixteen letters and you don't bother to reply to one! You could at least write to let me know you're okay!_

_I'm fed up now Alli._

_Lily._

Alina grimaced. She had gradually seen Lily's letters growing angrier and more frustrated, yet she couldn't bring herself to write back. She didn't know what to say, the anger she had originally felt at her friend for not helping her to stay at Hogwarts was gone. In fact, most of her emotions were gone, she just felt like a vegetable.

As she threw the letter onto the pile of others she had received she opened the window for Aldwynn to fly out of when she had finished drinking.

Aldwynn however, seemed to have others ideas. Instead she began pecking at Alina; painfully nipping her, catching her cuts and bruises.

'Ouch!' Alina yelled in surprise, and then realisation dawned on her.

'Oh for god sake Lily' she muttered, realising Aldwynn wasn't going to leave until she had a reply.

Alina quickly pulled out a bit of parchment from the drawer.

_Dear Lily._

_Sorry I haven't replied, I've been busy._

_I am fine though._

_Have a good Christmas._

_Alina_

She attached it to Aldwynn's leg and watched as the bird disappeared into the distance, wishing she could go with it.

She knew her reply to Lily was cold, but it took so much effort to even keep herself sane, she couldn't bring herself to write a long happy reply to Lily, inventing lies about what she had been up to.

That afternoon Alina fell in and out of a dreamless sleep, waking up and finding herself more exhausted each time. Eventually she gave up; looking outside and seeing that the sky was growing dark she began to feel apprehensive. She knew her father would come soon, and she was terrified to think what he might do next.

To her surprise the sound of the doorbell echoed through the large house, and she felt a flicker of hope ignite within her at the sound of male voices entering.

If her father was having company, there was no way he would attack her. Tonight would be safe.

She physically felt her whole body relax. Her muscles were no longer so heavy and she felt completely calm as the relief washed over her. Yet the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs caused her ears to prick up, the muffled laughter and low voices caused shivers to go up her spine and a looming sense of doom consumed her.

Silently she prayed for them to go into her father's room. She closed her eyes tightly, completely focusing on her wishes, and felt her heart begin to pound dangerously loud as her hopes were squashed and the handle on her door turned.

She backed quickly into the corner of her bed as the silhouettes of three men entered her room. She recognised one to be her father, but was horrified by the presence of the two strangers.

'Who are you?' she asked shakily, the fear obvious in her voice.

'I've brought some friends to play Li'

Her father's raspy tone caused her to shiver involuntarily. Despite her submission to his attacks over the last few weeks she was not going to accept this. She could not bear this.

For a moment, as the two men approached her, she froze. Their hands wandered over her body, pulling and tearing at her clothes like hungry wolves. She looked up into their leering gazes and felt anger pulse through her veins.

'Get off me!' she screamed, lunging out at them wildly, desperately trying to push them away.

She screamed as she was thrown painfully onto the floor, her head crashing against her desk.

'NO!' she yelled, kicking out in any direction, trying to connect with anyone.

The pain as the three men attacked her was like no other. She could not escape the fists which came from all directions. The kicks which were administered to both her front and back. She could feel the trickling of blood running all over her body and she screamed out in pure terror.

They were going to kill her. She knew it. She tried to drag herself away but there was no escape, she felt herself falling into darkness.

_My wand _the small thought entered her mind as she began giving into unconsciousness. It gradually grew in a crescendo until every fibre in her body was screaming out for it.

_Accio wand _she thought desperately, knowing that it was hopeless, yet she was praying that every magical aspect in her body would come through for her.

'ACCIO WAND' she screamed, as her head exploded in excruciating pain as someone's foot connected with the back of it.

She faintly heard the creak of the door opening, and waited to feel the pain of an extra person helping to beat her to death, but instead she felt a light nudging at her hand. She reached out instinctively and felt her hand connect with her wand. Elation washed through her, amongst the pain, the terror and the blood she could feel power.

'Stupefy!' she yelled watching as her father fell backwards into unconsciousness.

She repeated this twice more and heard the thumps of the two men hitting the ground. It was excruciating as she carefully began to flex her limbs, checking for any broken bones, and sighed in relief as she found none.

As she slowly tried to get up, she broke out into a fit of coughs, feeling the blood coming up from her throat.

Finally standing, she hobbled to the door, every step she took felt as though her body was being torn apart from the inside out.

'Accio trunk' she mumbled, hearing the whoosh of air as her Trunk flew up the stairs towards her.

Silently casting a charm on it, she levitated it behind her as she carefully began making her way down the stairs.

Her vision was obscured by how swollen her face was and the blood which was all over it.

She pointed her wand at her face 'Tergeo' she whispered and immediately felt the blood disappear.

She winced as she finally reached the doorway and paused for a second.

'Mohani!' she called, soon hearing the sound of her owl flying down the stairs after her.

'Go to Hogwarts, I'll meet you there' she told him and he hooted at her request in perfect understanding. He paused for a moment, looking at her, before nipping her ear, which was the only place on her face that was uninjured, affectionately, and then flew out the door and into the distance.

After ten minutes of struggling to walk down her long driveway leading to the street she collapsed onto a wall, grasping it with as much strength as she could muster to refrain herself from falling down.

She felt her head spinning, and stars began to appear in front of her eyes, she blinked heavily, refusing to collapse now. And winced as she once again coughed up more blood.

She raised her wand high 'Accio' she gasped, and waved it around. Praying for the Knight Bus to see her.

* * *

After a few minutes she began to lose hope, everything was hurting, her head was pounding, and she just wanted to give in to the overwhelming need to sleep. She felt her head begin to droop. BANG. Alina jumped up at the sound, gasping in pain at the sudden movement and saw, in relief, the Knight Bus.

'Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out your wand hand, step on board and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Albert Harrison and I will be your conductor this eve-'

Albert broke off into a loud gasp as he caught site of Alina. He immediately jumped off of the bus and carefully helped her up.

'That's it girl, nice and slow' he muttered to her, and she felt slightly choked up at the first act of kindness she had received for weeks.

'Thank you' she managed to get out, her voice thick with pain.

He led her straight to the bed nearest the front and gently scooped her up, lifting her easily and placing her down on the soft mattress.

She pointed to her trunk, 'My purse is in there, take whatever the cost is.'

'Where are you going?' he asked softly, and Alina felt grateful that he didn't ask what had happened to her.

'Hogwarts, I'm going to Hogwarts' she smiled, and immediately coughed again, more blood trickling down her chin.

She drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the journey, and was awoken once by Albert, giving her some hot chocolate, which turned out to be too painful to drink.

'Sorry' she muttered apologetically, feeling close to tears at not being able to receive the drink gratefully.

'That's okay' he told her 'it was on the house anyway' he smiled, and she drifted off to sleep again.

Throughout the journey Albert watched her closely, horrified at the extent of her injuries and incredibly fragile state. When they arrived at Hogwarts he sent a Patronus to Hagrid, for him to open the gates for her, and then gently woke her.

She screamed out loud at his touch, and jumped awake in alarm, immediately gasping in pain. As soon as she realised where she was she was overwhelmed by embarrassment,

'I'm so sorry' she gasped, carefully getting out of bed.

'That's fine love' he told her in concern 'Hagrid's waiting for you at the gate'

She smiled in thanks as she got off of the bus and headed towards the lantern shining at the gate. It was only as the bus disappeared when she realised that her trunk had been untouched; he had taken no payment for her journey.

* * *

'Alina!' Hagrid gasped in shock at her appearance. 'What 'appened to ya?' he asked clearly worried.

'Please Hagrid, I don't want to talk about it right now' she pleaded.

To her amazement Hagrid nodded in silence, and they stayed that way for most of the walk up to the castle.

'I'm not going to the hospital wing' she told him before he could ask.

'Go to bed, in the mornin' you're goin' to have ter go to Dumbledore though, I'll 'ave to let him know' he told her gently

'Alright Hagrid' she sighed.

They paused for a minute in the entrance hall.

'You goin' ter be okay getting' there on yer own?' he asked.

'I'll be fine'

'Yer welcome to stop by my hut when yer feelin' better. You can see the Unicorns then' he offered and she smiled in response.

'I'll take you up on that Hagrid…good night'

She could feel his eyes on her as she walked down the corridor, and she tried her best to keep the limping to the minimum, with serious difficulty.

* * *

At the sound of the portrait swinging open James looked up in surprise, it was nearly midnight, and the marauders were the only remaining people in the common room. Despite her head being down, as if trying to conceal herself, the blonde hair could not belong to anyone but Alina. For a moment he paused in shock, and looked at his friends, realising that they were too wrapped up in their game of exploding snap to notice her.

She was half way across the common room before he found the power to speak.

'Alina!' he shouted angrily jumping to his feet immediately. Everyone looked up in surprise and Alina froze for a second, not replying, after a brief pause she began making her way to the Girls stairway without looking round.

'Don't try and walk away!' he snapped, running over to block her pathway.

'Do you realise what a state Lily has been in?' he hissed at her, his voice full of hatred.

'She has been desperate to speak to you all holiday, she's been worried out of her mind…and the only reply she gets is so cold it reduced her to tears!' his voice began to raise to near a shout.

'I don't care who you think you are but I will not let _anyone _upset Lily. You can be as cold and careless to the rest of the world but not Lily. I thought she was your best friend!'

'She _is_ my best friend' Alina's voice was barely audible.

Sirius, who had been waiting for an angry explosion on her behalf, looked up at her in concern. James however was oblivious.

'You are cold, I never saw it before, but you are a cold person Alina!' he spat 'and Sirius was right, your parents must be ashamed of you –'

The sound of a tiny sob caused him to freeze in mid sentence. He looked around in alarm, trying to see where the crying was coming from, and then realised, in shock, that the sobbing was coming from Alina.

Her shoulders had begun to shake violently, and she gasped with each loud sob as if in pain.

Within seconds Sirius had run over, and put his arm around her, surprised at how much weight she put on him, as if using him for support.

'Alina I'm sorry!' James said in surprise, shocked to see her crying.

'Alli?' Sirius said gently, trying to conceal the panic that was building up inside him. Alina refused to look up, and the boys all shared looks of panic and alarm. They all were thinking the same; something serious must have happened for Alina to be so openly distraught.

'Is it your dad?' Remus asked gently.

They all jumped in alarm, at the sound of strangled pain that Alina emitted at this comment.

'Alli…' Sirius repeated, placing his hands under her chin and gently lifting her face.

As soon as he laid eyes on her face Sirius let out a sound that seemed almost inhuman. It was as if a thousand emotions had exploded within him at once and had come out in one pained gasp.

She was barely recognisable, her face was a pallet of black and blues, her lip was swollen and deeply split. Her eyes were darting in fear, and Sirius could see the beginning of a deep gash on her forehead which disappeared into her hairline.

They others had frozen in alarm, horrified at the state Alina was in.

'She has to go to the hospital wing' Remus stated.

'NO!' Alina screamed, her voice full of panic and fear. 'Don't leave me alone…Sirius please…I need you'

The moment she had said his name in that tone, that fragile, pleading tone, he knew he could not leave her. He knew he would do whatever she wanted. Whatever would make her happy.

'She's staying here' Sirius told them, in a tone that no one dared to argue with. Gently lifting her, he began to carry her up to the boys dormitory in which they all shared. He cradled her in his arms, and felt her shaking uncontrollably against him, gasping at the pain each sob caused.

Sirius made a promise to himself. He would never. NEVER. Let this happen again. He would always protect her.

She clung tightly to him, as if afraid that he would disappear.

'Please don't leave me' she begged.

And at that moment, he knew he never would.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12:**

The night that followed was extremely distressing. Sirius cradled her until she cried herself to sleep, watching her as she slept restlessly, and over and over had to try and calm her as she awoke screaming.

It was killing him to see her fragile state, to see her so completely broken. As well as the horrific cuts and bruises that covered her body, it was clear that she had lost a lot of weight. She felt so tiny in his arms, and he was scared he would break her.

James lay awake in the bed next to them, staring at the top of his bed. Every time he heard her scream a chill went down his spine and guilt wracked his entire body. The harsh words he had said to her were running through his mind, and he regretted everything he had said.

Seeing the state of her had completely shocked him, he felt anger and outrage at whoever had done this. A prickly sensation swept through James at this thought: _Who had done this?_

When the morning finally came, Remus, James and Peter dragged themselves out of bed having slept very little. Remus quietly opened the curtains around Sirius' bed to see if he was awake. He was.

Sirius was wide awake, still holding Alina in his arms, whose hands were still clinging on to him even in sleep. He looked up at Remus and signalled him to be quiet.

'How's she doing?' Remus whispered, looking in concern at Alina's battered body.

Sirius just shrugged 'she's finally sleeping peacefully' he told him. Their eyes connected for a minute, and they saw their own worry and panic reflected in each other.

'James has gone to tell Lily, I think'

Sirius just nodded thoughtfully.

'Make sure she stays quiet when she comes up…from the looks of things Alli needs the rest.'

At the sound of someone running up the stairs Remus quickly made his way to the door, meeting an out of breath Lily with a wild expression of panic over her face.

'Where is she!' she demanded, trying to push past Remus.

'She's asleep Lil, and she hasn't slept much all night…so be quiet okay?' he asked gently.

'Sure' she told him and slowly made her way over to Sirius' bed. At the sight of Alina she gasped, and felt herself dissolve into tears. She tried to silence herself but it was too late, her loud sobs had disturbed Alina, who jumped awake and looked dazed at the sight of her friends around her.

'I'm really here!' her voice came out croaky from the mixture of crying and coughing, but the surprise was obvious.

Expecting her to jerk away from him Sirius looked down at her and smiled.

'Yep you are' he told her, and too his surprise she just stayed quietly where she was. An expression he could not quite place was on her face.

'What happened Alli?' Lily cried, grabbing Alina's hand, and quickly releasing it as she saw her flinch.

'I…erm…'

Alina panicked. _What could she say_? She couldn't tell the truth.

'It's okay; you don't have to talk about it just yet…' Lily soothed her, registering the distress of her best friend.

'I need a bath' she mumbled, feeling the dried blood all over her skin.

'Oh! Of course! Do you want to go now? Or sleep some more?' Sirius asked, his voice painfully gentle, causing her heart to ache with the rest of her body.

'Now' she said softly, averting her eyes from his. She couldn't believe, that through the pain she was in, she could yearn for him so badly, that the first thought in her mind was of him.

Sirius shifted from behind her, and she gasped automatically at the pain.

'Sorry!' he told her urgently, trying to move as slowly as possible. Once out of the bed she felt his warm arms around her once more as he lifted her up.

She thought of arguing, of fighting against him. But she didn't. She knew she couldn't walk without being in serious pain, and the arms wrapped around her so securely were too comforting, too warm to want to escape from.

The fact that it was so early in the morning was comforting to Alina. It meant that on their way to the prefect's bathroom they encountered nobody. She closed her eyes, and appreciated the tranquillity of the moment, the ability to relax in Sirius' arms without the fear of waking up. He was really here. She fought down the tears that threatened to appear as she thought of this and instead, lent in closer to Sirius, inhaling his delicious scent.

'We're here'

Sirius' voice broke her dream like state. She clung to him tighter, ignoring the throbbing pain in her fingers as she did so.

'Lily will take you' he told her gently, trying to prise her off of him.

She knew it was ridiculous, that she seemed needy and desperate, but for once she didn't care. All she knew was that the thought of Sirius walking away from her, leaving her, filled her up with dread.

'No, don't go…please Sirius!' she begged, using as much strength as she could muster to hold on to him.

She saw the torn expression in his eyes.

'You – you're having a bath Alli…I…I can't be there, it's not right…' he told her in a strangled voice. Feeling disgusted at the arousal he was experiencing, imagining the sight of Alina's naked body.

'I don't care...please!'

He looked at her and sighed. The defeat obvious in his expression. He glanced at Lily and she just merely shrugged.

The moment Lily began to undress Alina, all thought's of arousal evaporated from Sirius' mind and he turned away, flinching as he met Lily's widened eyes and whose mouth mirrored his as it dropped in horror. Alina's body was covered from head to toe in bruises, nasty, foul colours of blue, green and yellow defaced her beautiful skin. She had cuts along her side and grazes all over. He turned away, allowing her privacy as Lily finished undressing her and helped her into the bath.

She grimaced as the hot water connected with her skin, causing her to quickly intake a loud breath. Yet after the initial stinging, she began to feel relaxed.

The mixture of the hot water and the two most important people in her life, made her feel truly clean. As if along with washing the dirt and blood from her body, the water was also washing away the last few weeks.

The change in Alina after having the bath was spectacular. Although the bruises were still present, the cuts still obvious, the fragility and vulnerability had evaporated. And as they sat together in the common room, she seemed to become the Alina they had always known. A smile on her face, joining in animatedly with the conversation and hiding the pain she had expressed the previous night. Yet as they all snuck quick glances at her, they could see, the once bright sparkle in her eyes had gone, and instead they were dull. Dead.

* * *

'So you see, since I was little all the other kids in the area have thought I was weird…you know making strange things happen and all that. So on top of being strange, I'm also rich and have a title…which in their eyes gives them enough reason to hate me. They said something to me, and I snapped back. Next thing I know they attacked me. My parents thought it best that I get away from them and come back here'

Alina was extremely impressed with the story she had just invented off the top of her head. But looking at Dumbledore she began to doubt it. His eyes penetrated hers once again as if they were inspecting her soul.

'Please stop that Professor' she mumbled, and looked on as Dumbledore became very surprised.

'Stop what?' he asked, the interest in his voice and expression was clear. He lent forward, waiting for her reply.

'The way you look at me…it's as if you're looking into my…' she grew red, feeling embarrassed. _Why had she said anything? _'Into my soul' she finished, looking down.

'That's because I'm trying to read your mind' he told her pleasantly and Alina looked up in alarm.

'Relax Miss Blake, you see, for some time I have noticed how you manage to close yourself off. You possess an incredible amount of self control. I have tried a countless amount of times to read your mind. Not out of nosiness, but of simple curiosity. You have the ability to close your mind off from intruders, seemingly unintentionally'

He raised his eyebrows as if asking her whether she was aware of this.

'I…I don't mean to!' she told him, feeling at loss of what to say. He smiled kindly at her in response.

'I know Miss Blake' he said, a twinkle in his eyes 'but that's my point. You are special Alina. You have no idea how special you are'

She looked at him quizzically and frowned as she realised her wasn't going to elaborate.

She took this as her dismissal and turned to leave.

'Is everything all right at home Alina?'

She froze, caught by surprise for a moment, before twisting her clenched lips into a casual smile and turning to her head master.

'Fine, Sir! Everything's fine'

* * *

Having been to the Hospital Wing and receiving treatment for her injuries, over the next two days the bruises faded so quickly, that by the third, they were virtually undetectable.

Gradually her friends had stopped treating her as if she should be wrapped in cotton wall, and to her relief everything fell into the same pattern as it had been before she left.

'Let's throw a party!'

Everyone looked at Sirius as if he was crazy.

'What d'you mean throw a party?' Peter asked.

'Well, everyone comes back to from holidays on Friday…'

Alice's face lit up in understanding and excitement.

'So Saturday…?' she asked slowly, checking with Sirius that she had gotten the right idea.

'Exactly, party in Gryffindor common room on Saturday night!' the excitement in Sirius' voice made Alina smile, he truly was like a child sometimes.

He was, at that moment, grinning around at his friends, obviously pleased by his own brilliance.

'Excellent Prongs!' James yelled, jumping up immediately, and forgetting Lily was on his lap.

'Oh sorry babe!' he added, as Lily tumbled to the floor, crying out in indignation.

'But the teachers...' Polly asked, looking in concern at Remus.

'Muffliato should do it' he told her calmly, his eyes however were lit up in excitement.

James however, had jumped on top of Sirius and was now taking part in a mixture of wrestling and congratulating at his best friends' idea.

A loud babble of chatting took place after this. Every one of them clearly excited about Saturday.

'What about drink?' Alice asked, aiming the question at James and Sirius. If anyone knew how to get hold of firewhiskey it would most definitely be those two.

They gave each other a knowing look, and grinned at everyone widely.

'Don't you worry about that Alice' Sirius told her smugly.

'You going to go through the mirror on the fourth floor then?' Alina asked casually, and the four marauders turned to her in surprise. Peter's mouth was hanging open, his eyes wide.

'What?' he gasped.

Alina looked at them in confusion.

'Well, I suppose you could use the one behind the one eyed witch, but that goes to Honeydukes, surely the mirror passage would be easier?' she asked,

Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter, 'how on earth do _you_ know about those passages!' he exclaimed.

Alina just smirked at him…' When are you going to face it Sirius, there is very little that I don't know'


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

On Saturday morning, a general buzz of excitement swept through the Gryffindor Common Room as the news of the party spread. It seemed that it was the best thing to happen since the Halloween ball

It was near lunch when James and Sirius entered the common room, their arms full with crates of Firewhisky, a loud cheer was given off at the sight of it, and after four more trips, the best part of Sirius' dormitory was covered in crates.

The day seemed to go extremely slow, Lily kept close to Alina, her way of preventing Alina running off and playing quiddtich as she had before.

News of the party had spread widely through the school, and what had started as a predominantly Gryffindor party had grown to include both Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.

At six o'clock the girls disappeared to their Dorm to get ready, leaving the boys to set up.

Alina was thankful to find, that unlike before the Halloween Ball, her dormitory was not full up, and it was just herself, Lily, Polly and Alice.

She threw herself onto her bed and started to relax, only to be disrupted by the frustrated yells of her best friends.

'What is wrong?!' she yelled in exasperation, sitting straight up.

She smiled in amusement at the sight of clothes being thrown through the air. The floor of the room could not be seen as a thick pile of clothes and shoes had completely covered it.

'We have nothing to wear!' Alice whined, slightly sweating at the speed she had just examined every item of clothing she owned.

Alina looked at one stressed out face to another, as they all gazed at her in desperation.

'Oh for god sake' she sighed, shaking her head at how ridiculous her friends were sometimes.

She climbed out of bed, and laughed out loud as their expression turned to hopeful.

'Never fear, your Fairy Godmother is here' she announced with a dramatic twirl which Lily giggled at.

Yanking her trunk from beneath her bed, she very quickly and with sheer efficiency, looked through her clothes, pulling out certain items and throwing them onto her bed. Once finished, the three girls ran at an alarming rate towards it.

'WOAH!' Alina yelled, moving swiftly out of the way.

'Alli! These all have labels on!' Alice told her, looking startled.

'Oh I know; I haven't worn them' she told them casually, and seeing their hesitant looks she shook her head and reassured them.

'Seriously, take what you want, what's the point in having money if I don't spend it on stupid amounts of clothes right?'

That was all it took for the snatching of clothes to begin.

Two hours later and they were all ready. Lily was once again wearing green, a cute cocktail dress, which extenuated her curves.

Alice was wearing a dramatic red dress, which was held in with a thick gold waist belt. Polly was wearing a classic black dress, a string of pearls around her neck.

'You look amazing' Lily told Alina 'I don't get how you make looking good so effortless' she moaned.

Alina scoffed at the comment, in truth feeling very uncomfortable in her dress. It was petrol blue, drawing out her eyes as if they were sapphires. Her hair was loose in waves, with a thin gold headband across her forehead. The problem was, the dress was figure hugging, clinging to her body, and therefore making her feel conscious.

'It's so tight though' she said to Lily in a worried tone.

Lily just laughed 'You're going to drive Sirius mad!'

'He already is mad' she mumbled, avoiding eye contact as she unwillingly felt herself blush. Her stomach turned in knots as she thought of him.

'Ready?' Polly asked, her voice slightly high pitched with excitement.

* * *

'Wow'

Lily spoke the words that they all thought as they had entered the common room. It seemed that the boys had taken setting up the party extremely seriously. If they had not known they were in the common room they would not have believed it.

There was not an armchair in sight, instead the room was dark, alit with laser lighting, and disco lights. There was smoke everywhere coming from an unknown source, and a large table, holding a ridiculous amount of alcohol.

'I've never seen so many people in the common room!' Polly gasped

'Well?'

They all turned at the sound of James' voice.

'What do you think?' he asked smugly.

'It looks amazing James!' Lily breathed as he pulled her close to him.

'So do you' he told her, and smiled as he felt her shiver slightly at his touch. 'We've worked hard haven't we Padfoot!' he turned to look at Sirius who was behind him.

'Yes! Which is why we deserve to drink double what everyone else does!'

'Cheers to that!' James laughed.

Alina saw Sirius look at her briefly, as she went to smile at him however, he quickly looked away, avoiding her eye contact. She felt confused…had she done something wrong? But quickly shrugged it off, he probably didn't mean to ignore her.

'So who wants a drink?' James asked and laughed at the loud chorus of 'yes' from all of the girls. Taking Lily's hand he led them over to the drinks table.

Polly, who was also walking hand in hand with Remus, seemed in her own world of bliss, so Alina slowly dropped back until she was walking with Alice.

'I'm so happy for them' she gushed.

'I know, especially Polly, she's liked Remus for so long!' Alina grinned.

'It's great! Now all that needs – Oh! There's Frank!' she squealed and without as much as a glance at Alina she ran off to greet him.

All of a sudden Alina felt at loss, abandoned. She looked round and saw that Lily and Polly were wrapped up with James and Remus, and she didn't know what to do. Over the last few days she had relied so heavily on them, that now she wasn't surrounded by them she felt lost.

'Hey' she said, as she turned and saw Sirius.

'Hi' he replied bluntly, taking a swig of his drink.

'So you actually pulled it off' she grinned, grabbing herself a bottle of Firewhisky.

'Yeah looks like it.' He looked at her briefly, opening his mouth as if to say something and then stopped.

'I – I've got to go' he told her coldly and immediately departed.

Alina watched his retreating figure and felt a huge sense of loss well up inside her. She watched as he stopped at the other side of the room, as far away as possible from her, and carried on drinking.. She watched as Sophie Steele made her way over to him and began a conversation. And she quickly downed her bottle of firewhisky and grabbed another one.

'So I thought that maybe you could take me up to your dorm and –'

'No' Sirius snapped, incredibly bored with Sophie's incessant flirting. He didn't care about what she was offering him, he had barely heard her. All he was thinking about was Alina, and how tight that dress was,

He knew it was cruel, the way he had just walked away from her, leaving her alone. But he couldn't look at her. Just the thought of her in that dress was arousing him, and she had made it clear that that was not what she wanted. She just needed friends right now.

Yet the thought of someone else touching that body, knowing that someone else had made love to her…it sickened him. That someone else was good enough, but not him. He shook his head and finished his drink. Suddenly realising that Sophie was still talking to him.

'Go away Sophie' he snapped 'I'm just not interested okay?'

And ignoring the indignant look on her face he went to get another drink.

It was after his fifth bottle, whilst scanning the crowd for Alina, when he saw the blonde hair of Marcus De'Valle. He instantly scowled, wondering who had invited Slytherins to the party. He pulled out his wand, a flame of anger erupting within him at the sight of the boy who had attacked Alina.

As he got closer to Marcus, he suddenly became aware of Alina sitting directly in the path of which Marcus was heading in. He watched in horror as Marcus reached her. He saw the look of shock on her face quickly turn to disgust as Marcus lent over and whispered in her ear. And then he froze. He watched Marcus take her hand. And he watched as Alina let him lead her to the dance floor.

* * *

'What do you want from me Marcus?' Alina hissed, shuddering in disgust as he put his hand on her waist as they danced.

'Oh, well there are a lot of things I'd like from you, Alina' he purred seductively, making her cringe away from him.

She looked into the eyes she had once found so attractive and saw nothing but cruelness.

'You said you know my secret? Well you know nothing! So I think you and your pathetic little friends should just leave!'

'Well if you didn't think I knew anything why would you have agreed to dance with me? Unless you still like me?' he asked smugly, pulling her closer to him.

Alina struggled to pull away, but was suddenly aware of how much alcohol she had drunk. Her legs feeling wobbly and unlikely to successfully hold her weight.

Feeling dizzy, she satisfied herself by looking away from him.

'You're the last person I would ever be attracted to' she told him coldly.

She jerked in surprise as his hand dug painfully into her hips, digging his nails into her.

'What are y-'

'Listen here you little bitch' he practically spat. 'Don't you try all that shit with me. I know exactly what a little whore you are! What you were up to over the Christmas.'

Alina froze in shock, suddenly feeling ill. _How could he know?_

As if reading her mind he responded.

'I do believe you met my father before you came back here? It's a shame the way it ended up, but at least he got a good grab at you'

She was speechless; so many emotions were running through her body at the same time that she had no idea how to react. Instead she just remained silent. Terrified of where this was going.

'So unless you want me to tell everyone exactly what a slut you are. You can do what I say. You can give me exactly what you should've given my father.'

'Your father is a dirty little pervert. 'She hissed, flinching as his grip tightened.

'Oh hello Sirius'

She span round in alarm, as Marcus greeted Sirius in a pleasant tone.

'Everything all right?' Sirius asked gruffly, not making eye contact with Alina.

'NO!' she wanted to scream. 'Everything is not okay!'

But instead she remained quiet, hearing Marcus reply for her.

'Everything is excellent Sirius...we were just talking about how she met my father over the holidays!'

And that was it. That comment completely pushed Alina over the edge. A rage so powerful that she found herself shocked at the intensity consumed her. She saw nothing but red, she forgot about everyone else in the room. All she was aware of was how much pain she wanted to cause to Marcus.

'Get out now!' she spat, her voice burning with wrath, her entire body shaking.

He smiled at her smugly.

'We were also talking about Alli's relationship with her father, you see-' but Marcus was cut off before he was able to finish his sentence.

An invisible force, almost like a gust of wind, suddenly hit him. The power of it caused him to fly backwards, hitting the wall with a loud crack.

Sirius looked at Alina in alarm. He registered the searing hatred in her expression. The flaming anger in her eyes. But he also realised she had not drawn her wand.

Sirius looked round in confusion at who had done this, but found that most people were oblivious that anything had even happened.

'I'll tell them Alina! Don't you think I won't!' Marcus was yelling at Alina.

'Shut up!' she snapped, and Sirius watched in surprise as Marcus opened his mouth to reply but not a sound came out.

'Leave' her voice was cold, her eyes were dark and she looked terrifying. Completely and heart stoppingly beautiful…but terrifying.

Eyes wide with fear, Marcus immediately rose from the floor and made his way straight for the Portrait Hole, his friends following quickly after him.

Alina immediately turned to Sirius, he eyes suddenly doubtful, and confused.

'I- I didn't…'

'Are you okay?' he asked moving closer to her, struggling to stop himself pulling her into his arms.

She paused for a moment and looked at him, her blue eyes piercing his.

'As if you care' she replied coolly, and turned away slightly stumbling over her feet.

Sirius suddenly realised just how drunk Alina was.

'I'm sorry for walking away from you earlier' he told her, grabbing her arm to steady her.

She froze at his touch, and he immediately let go, feeling uneasy.

'Why did you ignore me?'

Her voice was so quiet that he barely heard the question.

'Because you look too beautiful tonight, being near you drives me crazy.'

She looked around at him, her eyes wide with curiosity, staring at him as if assessing whether he was being serious or not.

For a moment neither of them spoke, and then Alina began to giggle.

'What?' he asked in amusement, baffled by her sudden laughter.

'Lily said that I'd drive you mad' she laughed.

Sirius just shook his head, smiling in amusement. He liked seeing her laugh. A look of surprise suddenly appeared on her face as someone knocked into her from behind and she fell forward, dropping her bottle.

As if in slow motion, Sirius instinctively lent forward and caught Alina before she fell to the floor. Amazed and impressed by the speed of his reaction after consuming so much alcohol, he grinned, looking down straight into Alina's eyes.

The shock of falling was nothing to that of looking up into Sirius' face as he caught her. The bright grin on his face was breathtaking, and she couldn't utter a word of thanks, she just stared at him in amazement.

She could feel how dizzy she was, how she slightly slurred her words, and how normally, being this out of control would terrify her. Yet for now, with Sirius holding her in his arms, she revelled in it, she felt free.

'Hi' she breathed, still entranced by his beauty.

'Hey' he chuckled softly 'I've got the impression that you're drunk?'

'Well so are you!' she remarked defensively.

'True' he admitted laughing, and then his expression turned to curiosity 'Before…with Marcus…how did you...oh never mind actually.'

He waited for the closed off expression in her eyes, for her to look away, for the moment to be ruined.

Instead she merely shrugged 'I don't know'

Almost unconsciously they began swaying to the music that was playing. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lent in close to him.

Her heart was pounding, her knees felt weak, and she didn't want to be anywhere else other than right there in Sirius' arms.

For what seemed like just seconds, but must have been much longer, they stayed that way in silence. Too happy to hold each other to even need words.

'Alli?' Sirius' voice broke the silence.

'Mmm?' she replied, in contentment.

'You know I'll always be here right? Whether you want a friend...or...well or more…I'm always going to be here. You're my everything.'

She trembled as she felt his soft lips touch the top of her head. Her emotions were screaming for her to kiss him. Every muscle in her body was aching to be with him, and as she lifted her face, looking directly into his eyes she wondered; _why not_? _Why should she not allow herself to be happy?_

She felt her face moving closer to his, she saw his eyes widen with wonder, and then she froze.

'We need to talk' she told him, and grabbing his hand she led him out of the Portrait Hole.

* * *

'Alli?' Sirius asked, watching her pacing up and down in front of him. She had tried to start talking twice and both times she had frozen and started pacing once again.

'Okay…so in case you haven't realised I don't talk much about my life outside of Hogwarts...'

She froze, looking at Sirius as if waiting for a reply; he quickly nodded, wondering where this was leading.

'So, what I'm going to tell you…that's as much as I'll say, so don't ask questions okay?'

Once again Sirius quickly nodded, briefly wondering what exactly he was agreeing too.

'So I told you…well I told everyone, that I'm not a virgin right?'

Sirius froze, his mouth suddenly felt dry, because despite speculating who she had slept with ever since he had found out, now that she was about to tell him, he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

'It – erm' Alina froze, the words were stuck in her throat. She couldn't tell him the whole truth, but she could tell him enough. Enough for him to decide whether he would actually want to be with her.

'If I was with you…I mean really with you.' She took a deep breath, and risked looking into his eyes.

'I'm not normal. I have serious issues. You need to know that before you decide to take things further because it's not going to be easy. I can't be completely open with you; it's just how I am. Especially with you, because what I'm feeling; it scares me. You get under my skin…'

She stopped, taking a deep breath, surprised at how much she had just blurted out.

Sirius, looking shocked, took a step closer to her, drawing her into his arms. A look of desire in his eyes.

'You're scared of how you feel?' he breathed looking down at her. Alina just merely nodded.

'So am I' he whispered.

And with that their lips connected.

Alina's heart exploded, every part of her body was screaming with joy, she trembled at the softness of Sirius' lips, the warmth of his body pressed against her. For a moment she forgot everything. She forgot why she had brought him out here. She forgot why she had had any doubts about being with him. All that mattered was that she was kissing him.

As she felt him press her up against the wall, she suddenly panicked. This was going to fast. This scared her. She had to tell him. He had to know.

She tore apart from him.

'I was raped.'

The look of horror on Sirius' face was too much. With sudden realisation of how disgusted he must be with her she did the only thing she could; she ran.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14:**

It was daybreak when Sirius came back through the Portrait Hole. The common room was quiet; most people had crashed out there and were strewed out all over the floor.

'Sirius!' Lily called, still awake with James.

She took in his sunken appearance, the worried look in his eyes and the way his hair was messed up in all directions as if he had been pulling at it in stress.

'Has Alina come back?' he asked urgently, looking hopeful.

'No…' she replied, looking concerned 'why? What happened?'

Sirius let out a loud groan of frustration and covered his face with his hands.

'Padfoot you alright mate?'

Sirius didn't bother answering; he just turned straight around and went back out of the Portrait hole.

All night he had been wandering around Hogwarts in search for Alina. He felt physically sick thinking of her being alone after what she had just told him. _Why had he frozen? _The question had been running through his head all night. _Why hadn't he just pulled her close, shown her that everything was all right?_

It horrified him that she had kept such a secret. Had lived with it hanging over her and had no one to talk to. _Well, he was not going to let that happen anymore._ He felt his pace quickening despite the aching protests of his feet, and found himself walking towards the grounds. Looking out towards the woods Sirius' eyebrows shot up in amazement as it suddenly dawned on him. He knew exactly where she was. Making off in a jog, he ran in the direction of Hagrid's hut.

The morning was freezing. A thick layer of snow covered the grounds, making everything exceedingly bright. The cold air was biting at Sirius' skin, and causing his hair to stand on end. Yet Sirius did not even notice the cold, he did not feel himself shivering, the numbness of his fingers; because he was looking at the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, and that in itself was enough to keep him warm.

The first thing he saw was the shimmering white coat of the mother unicorn, lying in the snow, her coat shimmering in the morning sun. Yet what made it so beautiful, was the mass of blonde hair spread onto the unicorns back, the tiny body curled up next to it amongst the shining gold foals, and the tranquil expression on Alina's face as she slept.

'S'amazing that is'

Hagrid's voice made Sirius jump violently and he turned to see Hagrid's grinning face.

'What is?'

'Since they've been born the closes' that unicorn has let me near the babies is the edge of the paddock! And there's Alina curled up as if she's one of 'em!'

Sirius watched in thoughtful silence. Hagrid was right of course. He knew himself that it was incredibly rare to get near a Unicorn, yet alone a new mother.

'So why do they like her so much?' he spoke out loud.

'That there's the question ain' it! Although Dumbledore 'as his theories…'

'What?' Sirius asked.

Hagrid's face turned an impressive shade of red, and Sirius watched as he shifted his feet, mumbling something incoherent under his breath.

'Dumbledore has theories about what Hagrid?' Sirius pressed.

Hagrid grew even more uncomfortable, looking around as if for an escape route.

'Go' ta get goin' I'm needed at the castle!' he stated unconvincingly, immediately heading off at a fast pace.

Sirius watched him go, his mind whirling; just what did Hagrid nearly say?

A low whiney jolted Sirius' attention back to Alina. He smiled as the baby Unicorns awoke, each nudging at Alina as if begging for her attention. He watched as her brow frowned slightly as she was disturbed, the way a slight shiver ran through her as her body became aware of how cold it was. He was fascinated with the tiniest details in her expression, how at the nudging of the foals her frown faded and was replaced by a small smile. Her eyes were still closed.

'Good morning beautiful' she mumbled, reaching out and stroking the closest foal.

'Good morning' Sirius replied.

He had to fight off a smile as he saw Alina nearly jump out of her skin, the way her eyes flung open and she climbed quickly and clumsily to her feet.

'How – how long have you been there?' she asked, folding her arms defensively.

'Quite a while sleeping beauty…you snore you know' he told her conversationally.

'I do not!' she replied indignantly, her face growing red.

She looked at him stubbornly for a moment, trying to feel angry, but her face betrayed her, a smile played at her lips and eventually she gave in to it.

'That's better' he said softly, and climbed the fence into the paddock.

'So do you want to talk about last night?' Sirius asked softly.

They were both sitting on the fence, smothered in a large fur blanket Sirius managed to scavenge from Hagrid's hut.

'I…erm'

'It's okay if you don't…it's just you took off on me and we didn't-'

'Yeah, I'm sorry about that!' Alina interrupted quickly.

Sirius frowned, and looked deeply at her expression; he could see the internal struggle within her. The way she was trying to open up, yet was automatically keeping things in. he shook his head in disbelief.

'_You're sorry?_ For what? I'm the one who completely froze! I reacted completely wrong…I was just shocked Alli, and angry that someone had done that too you…does anyone else know?'

Alina just shook her head.

'Not even Lily? Or your family?'

Sirius watched as a flicker of…what was it? Pain? Sadness?...washed over her face.

'No, you're the only one. And that's how it's going to stay' she told him in a strong voice. Her tone close to being threatening.

'Okay…' he didn't know how to react to her. Should he be sympathetic? Comforting? To him it seemed as if she wanted him to never mention it again.

'You really are a closed book aren't you?' he asked her, the wonder difficult to hide in his voice.

She smiled 'I know' she said softly, briefly glancing up at him.

'But I'm glad you told me anyway…I want to know everything about you Alli.'

She blinked at his statement. Looking uncomfortable under the intensity of his gaze.

'That's the problem' he heard her mutter. 'Just don't push okay?'

He nodded.

They stayed silent for a while. His arm wrapped around her under the warmth of the blanket. Her head resting on his shoulder. And as they watched the young unicorns running around in bounds of ecstatic energy, Sirius felt that he could join them.

* * *

When Sirius and Alina entered the common room later that morning, hand in hand, both looking extremely tired but content, the sound of cheering caused them to freeze in surprise.

They came face to face with most of the Gryffindor 7th years, sprawled out all over the place, looking extremely hung over, but all grinning in delight.

'Wha-?' Alina shook her head in confusion, glancing up at Sirius for an explanation. He just merely shrugged and carried on grinning, pulling her close to him.

'FINALLY!' someone yelled and everyone laughed.

James came over and patted Sirius on the back. 'Well done Prongs!' he yelled and leant closer, lowering his tone.

'Alice saw you both walking back to the castle, and naturally, she told the whole common room…I think some of them are a little high still'

They followed James back to their usual seats by the fire, and Alina felt her heart lift as she realised her place was now with Sirius.

As she curled up to him, her feet being warmed by the fire, and her head on his chest, feeling the increasing pace of his heart rate she felt alight with happiness. And as they laughed with everyone Alina realised just how natural being like this felt. As if it was always meant to be. As natural as breathing.

* * *

'…so I thought if we all worked out revision schedules we could help eachoth-'

The sound of shouts and yelps from just along the corridor broke off Polly's speech about NEWT preparation. They all looked curiously as something barging through the crowd of people leaving their lessons was causing paper to go flying, people to push themselves hard against the wall and shouts of surprise to occur.

'What's the matter?' Lily asked someone in surprise, who came running down the corridor looking terrified.

But Lily's question didn't need to be answered, at that moment a large, shaggy, black dog came into sight, emerging from the crowd of students. It let out a loud bark and came charging towards the four girls. Alice let out a scream and jumped back, away from the beast, and Alina merely laughed.

'Hello boy' she called playfully, acknowledging the dog's mood and immediately knowing it wasn't going to cause harm.

It stopped in front of her wagging its tail and letting out another loud bark.

'Hey you' she bent down to stroke him, and at the same time, as she loosened her grip on her bag, the dog snatched it with its mouth and backed quickly away from her.

'Hey!' she called out in surprise 'give that back!'

The dog was wagging his tail madly moving towards her and then running back quickly, teasing her, asking her to play.

She lunged towards him. And then he was off. Sprinting down the corridors like a Tasmanian devil, not worrying who he was barging into or knocking out of his way. Out of instinct Alina immediately ran after him, not able to feel annoyance, just amusement at the strange situation.

She ran out of the castle, leaving many people confused and amazed at the sight, and followed the dog through the grounds and towards the forest.

As soon as she reached the forest she stopped, looking around for any sight of the dog, but he was gone. She groaned out loud, suddenly realising how much important work had been in that bag.

'Looking for this?'

A familiar voice, full of amusement, came from amongst the trees, and Sirius Black emerged, holding her bag.

'How did you?...Where's the…what happened to?...' Alina gave up trying to put it together and just looked questioningly at Sirius, her hands on her hips.

He laughed at her demanding expression and put her bag on the floor.

Alina gaped as Sirius' body suddenly changed, she watched as he grew smaller, furrier, longer and with a tail. She watched in amazement as her boyfriend was suddenly replaced by the dog who took her bag.

And then he was back, a broad grin on his face.

'Ta da!' he laughed, waving his hands dramatically. For a moment Alina just gaped at him in surprise, and then caught check on herself.

'So…so that's how you do it!'

'Do what?' he asked, laughing at the expression on her face.

'How you can be with Remus on a full moon and only get scratches!'

Now it was Sirius' turn to look shocked. His mouth gaping as he looked at her in wonder, he shook his head, looking as if it was the first time he had ever seen her clearly.

'What?' she asked confused.

'Y-You know about Remus?' he blurted.

'Yes, I thought I made that obvious…you know, just before Christmas…'

'Well we did wonder about that, but we assumed you meant about him being ill…not…you know his _furry little problem'_

Alina burst out in laughter.

'_Furry little problem_? You are such an idiot you know that? So why did you steal my bag then? To show me your little trick?' she asked, changing the subject.

'Partly…but mainly because I wanted to do this…'

He closed up the gap between them until their bodies were pressed closely together, he ran his fingers through her hair and held the back of her head, leading her towards him. The kiss was passionate. They clung to one another, feeling boiling hot despite the cold, their hearts punching against their rib cages.

When they broke apart they were out of breath, and both extremely flushed. Both of their eyes were bright with delight and happiness and Alina giggled lightly as Sirius threw his arm around her casually.

'You're something else Sirius Black' she told him.

'I know! I'm a dog!' he grinned, and both laughing they made their way back up to the castle.

* * *

'Alina? Could I talk to you for a minute?'

Alina looked up from her book in concern at the sound of the nervousness in Remus' voice.

'Of course' she told him, rising immediately and following him into a quiet corner of the common room.

'Muffliato' he whispered, preventing anyone from listening in to their conversation.

'Remus…are you okay?' she asked, genuinely concerned. Up close she saw how pale he looked, the deep set bags under his eyes, and the way his forehead had small crease lines in it as if he was suffering a headache.

'Yeah…yeah...' he muttered distractedly, looking unsure how to begin.

The cause for Remus' appearance became obvious as she quickly worked out the dates and realised the new moon was in two days.

'Before you went home at Christmas…you said…about the new moon…and Sirius said, you knew…you knew about-' Alina stayed quiet as she watched Remus stumble over his words, looking extremely worried.

'-about your _furry little problem_?' she added softly, attempting to help him out.

At her words Remus' head jerked up, an expression of agony on his face.

'Remus! What's wrong! Are you hurting?' she asked in panic as she saw the look on his face. Instinctively she reached out to touch his arm, and in shock she watched as he jerked away.

'You don't have to do that Alina' he told her miserably.

'Do what?' she blinked in confusion.

'Be nice'

Alina froze as understanding flooded through her. He thought that she would despise him, hate him for what he was.

'Remus, I've known you're a Werewolf since third year' she told him gently, reaching out and firmly taking his hand.

'How?' he asked, looking surprised and a little in awe that she had kept it a secret, even to him, that she had known.

'I – I can sense things about people…I know it sounds odd, but I get a vibe off a person if I concentrate on them. I don't normally pay attention, concentrate on it because It's probably me being ridiculous…but…well' she paused, feeling uncomfortable about whether she would offend him with what she was going to say.

'Well what?' he asked, sounding desperate to know.

'I began to notice, that around the full moon, when you were sick…your state of mind…the vibe you gave off…it was kind of like an animals.'

She looked up at him, worried, but was relieved to see his face full of amazement.

'How do you do that?' he asked her, looking slightly more relaxed.

'I don't know' she whispered, despite being aware that no one could possibly hear her.

'I've always been able to do it…get feelings about people, what their mind is on…nothing clear though, just a sense of good or bad I guess? But with animals…I really connect, it's strange.'

Remus just nodded.

'Maybe you've got something different in you? Some kind of magic?' he suggested.

'Maybe' she shrugged. 'But you can keep that to yourself okay?'

'Sure…and Alli…thanks…for being so understanding' he said awkwardly.

'It's okay…Remus, I would never turn on you for what you are…and you know what? I don't think I'm the only one…'

'I can't tell Polly' he sighed, and Alina raised her eyebrows questioningly. 'I know she might accept it…but…but I can't risk losing her Alli…I just can't'

For a moment they stayed in silence, and Alina squeezed his hand and smiled at him.

'I understand Remus…I really, really do.'


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15:**

The sound of the curtains around her bed being pulled open caused Alina to awake with a jolt. Immediately she reached for her wand.

'Alli?'

Lily's whisper sounded in the darkness and Alina immediately relaxed.

'God Lil you scared the life out of me!'

Lily giggled as she climbed into Alina's bed and got under the covers with her.

Alina smiled. They hadn't done this in a long time. When they were younger they used to always sit up late at night, talking and gossiping, but lately they had been so tired and busy that they hadn't had a chance.

They lay facing each other, comfortable under the thick quilt.

'I'm really happy' Lily sighed.

'James?'

'I just can't believe it took me so long to realise how amazing he is!' Lily shook her head in disbelief 'I was such a bitch to him!'

Alina laughed, thinking about the hundreds of times her best friend had turned James down.

'Well at least you made him work for you! It made him like you so much more anyway!'

'True'

All of a sudden Lily looked nervous and Alina's sharp eyes caught the light blush creeping up her neck.

'Lily…'

'Yes' Lily's voice came out as nothing but a squeak.

'Tell me'

Lily stopped herself before she asked how Alina had known there was something she wanted to say, it had became normal to her that Alina seemed to know everything. She took a deep breath.

'I'm thinking about doing it…you know _it _with James.'

Lily was now completely red faced; she turned and buried her face in her pillow as Alina began to giggle.

'I'm sorry' Alina chuckled, trying hard to make herself more serious.

'It's just…when I'm with him he makes me so happy; I feel a ridiculous amount of emotions all at the same time. I swear sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode!'

The tortured expression on Lily's face became too much for Alina, and she burst out in laughter.

'I'm sorry Lily…I am sorry' she apologized acknowledging the indignant look on her friends face.

'I can relate though' she finally said, calming down.

'You can? So do you think you and Sirius will…?'

'No'

The answer was so blunt that it shocked Lily.

'Sorry'

'No I didn't mean to be rude…I meant to say not yet. I'm not ready yet' she concluded, feeling awful about her abrupt manner.

'But you've already done it!'

Alina could hear the difficulty Lily was having not to sound accusing, and once again she felt terrible about keeping her best friend in the dark.

'Yes' she said slowly.

A short silence followed this.

'Did it hurt?' Lily asked in a small voice, realising that Alina was not going to willingly elaborate.

'It – erm…yes. It hurt a lot' Alina told her 'but it won't be like that for you!' she added quickly, seeing the scared expression on Lily's face.

'Why not? If it hurt that much for you why wouldn't it hurt me?' confusion was plastered on her face.

'It was different…for me. James…he...he…' Alina felt claustrophobic and tried desperately to block out the feeling of wanted to cut herself off. She knew she would have to tell her eventually, but she was scared. Lily seemed so innocent to her, the biggest problem in her life being the turbulent relationship she had with her sister. She knew that Lily would be horrified, and she didn't want Lily to feel pain on her behalf.

'He loves you Lil' she finished, her voice soft.

'And it wasn't like that for you?'

Alina froze. She saw the slight flinch on Lily's face as she worried whether she had pried too far.

'No. No it wasn't like that for me'

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, Lily was picking at a feather sticking out from her pillow.

'When I did it…it wasn't out of choice…'

Alina heard Lily's sharp intake of breath and felt her hand reach out and grasp her own.

'You were raped?' Lily breathed, shuddering as she said it.

'Yes'

Alina looked deeply into her friend's bright green eyes; she could see the horror and distress. _Calm down Lily, it's okay _she thought silently _I'm okay…just breath._ In surprise, Alina felt the familiar surge of power rush through her veins and something within her reached out to Lily, like an invisible force. In amazement Alina watched as Lily's breathing went from rash to slow, how her tensed muscles visibly relaxed and how the distress left her eyes, leaving only concern.

'How old were you?' she asked in a small voice. A voice that was scared of the answer.

'Six'

'Oh Alli…'

Lily wrapped her arms firmly around her best friend, drawing her closer into a deep embrace.

'I love you' she whispered.

'I love you to Lil'

Alina felt the wetness on her cheeks before she realised that Lily was crying.

'Shhh Lily, its okay' she told her, stroking her hair like you would a small child.

Lily let out a small chuckle 'I should be comforting you!' she protested.

Alina just laughed 'I don't need comforting Lily. I'm fine…I really am' she smiled, truly meaning it.

'So you and James huh?' Alina asked, bringing the conversation back to the topic in hand.

'Yeah…it's just unbelievable how hard I've fallen for him Alli…I know it's too early to say this, and I know it probably won't happen…but I could honestly be with him forever. I really think he's the one.'

'Then you should do it' Alina told her softly, silently thinking how Lily didn't sound stupid…how the moment she had spoken the words her mind had turned straight to Sirius.

They lay there for a while in a peaceful silence, slowly drifting off to sleep.

'Alli?'

'Mmm?'

'Remember when we were younger...'

'Yeah…'

'How whenever we would do this we would finish the night with-'

'Hot chocolate! In the kitchens! How could I forget? Come on lets go!' Alina said excitedly suddenly wide awake.

As they crept out of the common room, the sound of the first bird songs could be heard.

'We've made the whole night Lil' she whispered, smiling.

'Woohoo!' Lily's woop echoed down the corridor and they both burst into a fit of silent giggles.

'I can't believe how much our all night chats have changed over the years' Lily sighed 'we've gone from talking about how James and Sirius have lurgies to –'

'How you want to shag him!' Alina cut in.

'Alli! That sounds so crude!' Lily hissed, sounding remarkably like Professor McGonagall for a moment.

They carried on laughing as they snuck down the corridor, trying to keep their laughter quiet. And then Alina abruptly stopped. She grabbed Lily's arm to stop her from walking and signalled her to be silent.

A deep sense of uneasiness had washed over her, and for some unknown reason her stomach had twisted into knots.

'Get out your wand' she whispered.

Lily looked round at her in panic 'I left it in the dormitory' she told her. 'Why what's wrong?'

Alina had to use all of her self control not to groan out loud at Lily's words.

'Something's wrong' she told her, pulling her behind a suit of armour.

'Homenum Revilio' she whispered using the spell to detect anyone near, Lily looked at her questioningly 'There are three people round the corner, and they're coming towards us. Lil, you have to do what I say all right?'

'I'm so sorry Alli…I should've brought my wand…'

'Where abouts is it? Could we accio it here?'

Lily shook her head 'It's locked in my trunk'

'All right, don't worry' she quickly cast the disillusionment charm on Lily.

'Stay quiet Lil no matter what...if something bad happens, if you get a chance try and go for help, if not just wait okay?'

Lil nodded 'I want to help you…I'm so sorry –'but she was cut off by Alina.

'Protego!' she yelled, blocking a jet of red light sent their way.

'Incendio' she added quickly, causing the lanterns in the corridor to relight. Alina and Lily could then see the approaching figures of Marcus De Valle, Severus Snape and Bellatrix Black.

'Can I help you?' she asked coldly as they surrounded her, looking each of them steadily in the eye.

'We have been sent to talk to you, Lady Blake' Marcus drawled and Alina rolled her eyes in disgust.

'Sent?'

'We have come with an offer far greater than anything you could dream of' Bellatrix's high pitch voice echoed down the corridor, and sent chills up Alina's spine.

'Try me. I doubt there is anything that you could offer that I would want' she looked at Bellatrix in disgust.

'You dare to look down on me!' Bellatrix practically screeched 'when I, so far superior in Blood status than you, have come by orders of a wizard far greater than any other!'

'Dumbledore sent you then?' Alina asked in an infuriatingly assuming voice.

'Dumbledore!' she spat, her eyes bulging out of her head 'I am speaking of the Dark Lord!'

'He has sent us with the offer of joining him in his quest for greatness' Snape interrupted 'He is willing to forgive your half blood status, as he did mine, as he feels that you would _benefit_ our numbers'

At the last part each of them had looked at her with burning curiosity, and Alina noticed how Snape was attempting to burn his eyes deep inside of her, a weaker attempt of what Dumbledore had tried before.

'Oh don't bother Snivillus' she told him casually and turned to each of them, her eyes stopping on Bellatrix.

'You can go and tell your 'Dark Lord' that I'm extremely interested in following the greatest wizard of all time…which is why I follow Dumbledore – Protego!' she added, blocking the silent curse Bellatrix had attempted to throw at her.

She immediately sent the jelly-legs curse back, watching in amusement as Bellatrix's legs began wobbling uncontrollably.

She silently blocked the spell Marcus sent at her 'Piertotum Locomotor!' she yelled, causing all of the suits of armour along the corridor to come to life. 'Attack him!' she told them, directing them at Marcus, who let out a high pitched yelp.

'Sectum-'

'Expelliarmus!'

'Protego!'

The shield that Snape put up was startlingly sudden, and Alina realised how strong his duelling ability was.

'Sectumsempra!'

Alina instinctively dived out of the way, but the sound of an agonized scream filled the corridor. She span round in horror, and the sight of Lily lying on the floor, covered in blood met her eyes. The disillusionment spell had broken.

'LILY!' she screamed, and she broke her eyes away from her friend to turn to Snape, his face contorted in horror.

'I didn't mean…I didn't…I didn't know-'

The power that rushed through her body hit her like a ton of bricks. It pulsed through every vein, it ran alongside the anger, and it consumed her entire being.

She flung out her arm and Snape was thrown backwards into the wall, she did so over and over until she saw that he was barely conscious. She then briefly acknowledged the other two Slytherins.

'Come here'

Her voice was shaking with rage, and she watched them as they were dragged towards her by an invisible force, both trying to grab hold of something to prevent it. With a flick of her wrist they were both thrown back against the wall, next to Snape.

She stood in front of them, Snape's head was lolling to the side, his eyes unfocused, Marcus had various cuts and bruises all over his body as a result from the battering he received from the suits of armour, and Bellatrix was watching her darkly, eyes full of hatred, the effects of the hex had worn off.

She heard the approach of running footsteps.

'You will not bother me with this again. I will NEVER join you okay? You come near my friends…you hurt someone I love and I swear to God I _will_ kill you' she hissed at them.

'So this is why the Dark Lord wants you…' Bellatrix said in amazement.

'Shut up' Alina snapped. Bellatrix's mouth shut immediately.

'ALINA?' the sound of Sirius' voice broke her concentration and the three Slytherins fell to the floor with a heavy thud.

'Expelliarmus' she said twice, preventing Marcus and Bellatrix from attacking. 'Sirius get Lily she's hurt!' she yelled, turning away and running straight over to her best friend who was now lying in a pool of blood.

'LILY!' James' horrified yell reached her ears and she looked up as he came sprinting towards them.

'James don't do anything stupid!' she warned him as he reached for his wand 'the main thing here is to get Lily to the hospital wing.'

'Mobilicorpus' Sirius hovered Lily a few feet off the ground 'Come on Prongs' he growled, and with that they all turned and walked away.

'This isn't over!' Bellatrix called.

_No it's not _Alina thought.

* * *

When they reached the Hospital Wing they were met by a horrified scream of Madame Seymour the school nurse.

'How did this? What-?'

'Slytherins…death eaters' Alina said simply, she registered the dark look on Madame Seymour's face as she registered what had happened.

'You okay?' Sirius asked her gruffly, putting his arm round her waist.

'I'm fine…but Lily…' her voice faded with concern. She watched as James paced back and forth, his face full of rage and distress. The moment Madame Seymour emerged from behind the curtains they pounced on her like a pack of wolves.

'Is she okay?'

'Can you help her?'

'What's going on?'

'Can we go in?'

'She's not okay. She has lost a lot of blood. However, she will be okay…it was lucky you got her to me so quickly and yes…you can go in, but she's unconscious'

Sirius and Alina sat together by the window, and watched on as James sat as close as possible to Lily, gently stroking her hair and holding her hand, whispering softly in her ear.

'Sirius?' Alina said softly.

'Yeah?'

'Will you come with me to Dumbledore?' she asked

'Dumbledore?' he looked at her in concern 'can't it wait till later?'

'No…I needed to know she was going to be okay and now I do. It has to be now…it…it's important'

'Come on then…Prongs mate, we have to go to Dumbledore okay?'

James nodded, barely acknowledging them.

Taking Alina gently by the hand Sirius led her out of the Hospital Wing and down towards Dumbledore's office.

'We don't know the password…'

'Shhh I need to concentrate.'

After the events of the morning she had decided to stop pretending like there was nothing strange going on…that she couldn't do things that she couldn't explain.

She closed her eyes and breathed slowly and steadily. She thought of Fawkes. The heat of his body, the flaming red colour of his feathers, and his strong, intelligent mind.

_Tell him we're here _she urged silently _let him know we need him_. She immediately felt the connection, she felt, rather than heard the quiet squawk of agreement.

Within seconds the entrance to Dumbledore's study swung open and they were met with the sight of an extremely impressed and curious Dumbledore.

'I see you asked Fawkes to enlighten me of your presence?' he asked casually.

'Yeah' she said shyly, ignoring the questioning look Sirius was giving her.

'Take a seat' he told them, motioning towards two armchairs as they entered his study. He sat before them, and immediately looked straight into Alina's eyes.

'Ah!' he said in amused wonder 'I see that now you are aware your mind literally repels me…before it just merely blocked me! Is Lily all right?'

'She – she's fine…at least she will be. That's what I'm – we're – here about'

'I see' he replied and waited for her to continue.

'It was Snape, Bellatrix and Marcus De Valle who attacked us. They didn't know Lily was there, she forgot her wand so I disillusioned her. They told me that they were there to recruit me, they said it was an offer beyond my wildest dreams, that I would be serving the greatest wizard of all time' she paused and rolled her eyes.

'And what did you say?' Dumbledore asked quietly.

'I said I already did serve the greatest wizard of all time' she told him, and he beamed at her.

'Snape used that curse he invented' she continued 'I dived out of the way, but it hit Lily and…well you know…I got mad and…and…I felt powerful…' she looked up at him in uncertainty.

'And what did you do?' he pressed.

'I forgot about my wand, I threw Snape back into the wall…I dragged the other two towards me and threw them next to him. I prevented Bellatrix from speaking' her voice was becoming more and more panicked as she relayed the events, she shook her head realising how insane she sounded.

'And has this happened before?' he asked, she looked at him in relief as she realised that he believed her.

She nodded.

'I've seen it happen' Sirius added, 'and she can use normal spells without her wand as well.'

'What's wrong with me?' Alina asked in genuine concern, and she felt Sirius' hand squeeze hers in support.

'There is nothing wrong with you Alina; you are what we call a Vadima, a _knowing one_'

'A Vadima?'

'They are very rare, I have never before come across one, and I am not aware of any in existence. You may be the only one.'

'But what does it mean?' Sirius asked in confusion.

'The Vadima's were an ancient race or should I say tribe? It is unknown exactly where they originated, or where they lived, all that is known is that they ruled over the wizarding community, they were able to read, control and manipulate people's minds.'

'If there was a whole tribe of them then why are there hardly any now?' Sirius asked.

'When a group of people are seen and treated almost like Gods then things are easily turned bitter. Power is an addiction; it is something that once tasted is virtually irresistible. The Vadima's fought amongst themselves, individuals believing that they should be in charge of the tribe. This fighting led to weaknesses and eventually normal Wizards, whom did not wish to be controlled by the Vadima's, intercepted and most were killed.'

A silence followed this sentence as Alina absorbed what she was hearing.

'You've got to be kidding me!' she eventually blurted out. Sirius let out a bark of laughter and grinned at her, and Dumbledore smiled in amusement.

'No, Alina, I can safely say I am not kidding you' he told her with a twinkle in his eye. 'Your mind is virtually impenetrable and with practise it may be completely so. You are at one with animals, something you have demonstrated amongst the Unicorns and Fawkes here.'

'Why is that?' Alina interrupted.

'Animals are much more basic creatures than human beings; they act on instincts which therefore make their minds more open. You naturally communicate with these animals on a deep level due to this. With humans it is more difficult, it takes training, hard work and determination…but eventually, and perhaps worryingly, you would be able to completely control a human being or beings.'

The silence which followed this statement was tense. Every mind in the room was processing the horrific outcomes such a power could lead to.

'So…I'm like a human imperious curse?'

'Yes, I suppose you could say that…but much more dangerous, you see you are able to read minds as well. The legilimans spell will allow someone to try and push into the mind of someone else, but that can be learnt to be blocked. You? You cannot be blocked. And that is why Voldermort wants you. Total control. Total access.'

'So what do we do?' Alina asked weakly, her mind still trying to take in all of what she had just been told.

'We get to work. Now.'

**A/N: I'm sorry it's taken so long to update, we've got house guests who are staying in the computer room so i'm having to write when they're not around (which isn't often) so it's going to be a little slower for now!**

**I just want to say thank you for all of your reviews, every time i see a new one i smile and it inspires me to keep going! I especially want to thank:**

**Twilightluver919-TonksandLupin - thank you for all of your comments you have been my most loyal reader so THANK YOUUUU :)**

**Keep reviewing**

**Hannah xxx**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16:**

Alina sat with her head in her hands. Trying to make sense of everything she had just heard was proving to be a difficult process. Her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts of emotions, changing so suddenly and drastically that she couldn't decide what she was feeling. The touch of a warm hand on her leg immediately broke her away from these thoughts and she felt calm.

'You okay?' Sirius asked her.

She smiled softly and shrugged 'it's a lot to take in…so what do I have to do?' she turned to Dumbledore, her jaw set in determination.

'Excellent!' Dumbledore beamed at her 'but the first step is to do with you Sirius…'

'Me?' Sirius looked up in confusion.

'The process we are about to begin can be dangerous. It is may be hard, tired and painful for Alina. She will be coming to terms with her powers and therefore it will also be dangerous for those who are around her.

In order for Alina to control her powers she must be able to recognise them and use them in areas when she feels threatened and if being attacked. This could cause her to lash out and cause harm…that is if she were attacked by a stranger. The connection between you to is obvious, and I feel she would have more control with you present.

The problem is you could be hurt, and you could see things in Alina that you do not understand and that scare you. The question I am asking is would you risk that; in order to help her?'

Sirius didn't even blink. He didn't need time to consider. As far as he was concerned he would do anything for Alina and if she needed him he would be there. Hadn't he promised to never leave her again?

'Of course' he told Dumbledore.

'You don't have to do this'

Sirius looked at Alina with a smile on his face and chuckled at her worried expression, he gently ran the back of his hand down her cheek.

'Of course I do Alli'

'Right. Well let us begin!' Dumbledore clapped his hands together and got to his feet surprisingly quickly for someone of his age.

'Wands out, the both of you!'

Looking at their headmaster in bewilderment both Sirius and Alina got to their feet, wands in their hands, slightly bemused about what was going to happen.

'Now, I am presuming that whenever you have noticed your powers before it has been when you are experiencing a strong emotion?' Dumbledore paused for a moment, waiting for Alina to confirm this. With a quick nod of her head he continued.

'This is because it is the time your instincts become stronger, your body knows it's power and when you are feeling particularly angry or scared it uses this power for self protection. I am sure you have heard of the term 'adrenaline rush' in situations where a woman has lifted a cart off of her child. I assure you this was not due to an adrenaline rush, but merely a woman who was in the same situation you find yourself in.'

'So how do I control it?'

Dumbledore peered at her over his half moon spectacles 'have you never done it out of choice Alina?'

Alina thought carefully and grinned 'I calmed Lily down once…when I told her…something…' she glanced quickly at Sirius.

'Well, in order for you to control it you must be able to do so in a stressful situation. Firstly we must practise your ability to keep people out –'

'But you said I already do that fine!' it was difficult to keep the accusatory tone out of her voice.

'Indeed you do…but in a situation where you are being attacked, whilst someone else is trying to get into you mind would be completely different. So today, I shall have a simple dual with you…nothing difficult…whilst Sirius attempts to break into your mind.'

'NO!'

Sirius and Dumbledore both looked at Alina in alarm and confusion.

'I – I don't want people inside my mind!' she added lamely, flashing an apologetic look at them.

'It is essential that we do this Alina. There is a war starting. Voldermort is only going to get stronger and more dangerous. A time may come when you are in this situation…would you not rather have learnt the easy way with someone you care about?'

Alina nodded miserably. The thought of Sirius finding out her secret was making her feel physically sick.

'What you want to do is keep focused enough to have a hold over your emotions. You must prevent yourself from lashing out at either Sirius or myself. That way, you will learn to control it so you can use it at will…not just when you are upset. Ready?'

Alina stood facing Dumbledore, her stomach twisting in nerves yet feeling extremely determined. She was not going to let Sirius get inside her mind. She took a couple of deep breaths and felt her nerves transform into adrenaline. She looked up at Dumbledore and grinned.

'I'm ready'

'Expelliarmus!'

'Protego'

She easily blocked Dumbledore's disarming spell, but subsequently became aware of the little nudge of something trying to gain access to her mind.

_Oh go away_

She thought, as if swotting away an annoying wasp. The feeling suddenly vanished and she smiled in triumph.

'Impedimenta' she added, which Dumbledore quickly shielded and threw back to Jelly legs jinx.

She dodged that easily and once again felt the feeling of something trying to get into her mind.

_Get lost_

She thought, a flicker of annoyance flooding through her. The spells going back and forth between herself and Dumbledore were growing to a faster rate, making it harder to concentrate on Sirius' intrusion which she could feel was growing stronger.

It was as if there was a force around her mind and she could feel the areas in which it was cracking. She imagined them closing up…growing stronger and immediately that happened.

'That's it Alina…keep going!' Dumbeldore encouraged her, but she could feel herself growing tired. She dropped her concentration for a minute and suddenly felt the force break through into her mind. In less than a split second she had thrown up her shield.

_GET OUT_

She yelled silently feeling her anger growing. She heard an 'oomph' as Sirius was pushed back slightly.

'Stay calm Alli' he told her 'legilimans'

Infuriatingly she felt the force back again. She could feel her anger growing, with the constant spells being thrown at her by Dumbledore and with Sirius attacking her mind she felt herself losing control.

It was the moment when Sirius broke into her mind again when the power began to flood through her veins.

Sirius was watching her in amazement. He could feel the physical force of Alina's mind pushing him away. He could see the concentration plastered on her face as she protected her mind whilst duelling with Dumbledore. She was amazing. She looked so strong, so powerful that he couldn't help but look at her in awe.

'Legilimans' he whispered again. This time he felt the brief moment where her defence faultered her felt himself slip briefly into the confines of her mind.

He saw the image of a tiny blonde girl hiding under her bed and then suddenly felt himself being forcefully dragged out of Alina's mind. The force that was pulling him was unbelievably strong, as he found himself back in his body he was thrown two or three feet back.

He grunted in surprise, he felt winded. He paused for a brief moment and caught Dumbledore's eye. He received a look that told him to keep going. And so he did.

'Legilimans'

He found himself under the bed again and watched as the little girl's eyes widened in fear at the sight of two large feet approached.

Once again he felt himself being dragged out of the memory. This time however it felt more threatening, the force was much more powerful.

_Calm down, calm down_ Alina was repeating this over and over in her mind. She could feel the growing anger and she glanced briefly at Sirius who was looking slightly dishevaled.

'I'm not going to hurt you!' she growled through clenched teeth, more to herself than to Sirius.

'Of course you're not' he told her, his breathing slightly erratic.

'Expelliarmus!' she threw at Dumbledore.

She could feel the nudging at her mind and she knew she could not do this anymore. She was going to hurt him. She felt as he broke through into her mind and she panicked.

She could see the flashes of what he was seeing. She saw him see the footsteps approach her, she saw him watch as a hand reached under the bed and grabbed her by the hair, dragging her towards him…she watched as he saw her scream in fear.

_GET OUT_

She screamed the words mentally and felt in relief as Sirius was pulled from her mind and physically thrown away from her. Yet the sound of him hitting the wall brought her back to reality.

'Do you want to stop?' she heard Dumbledore's concerned voice.

'No…I'm fine' the pain in Sirius' voice caused her to wince. She felt as he attempted to break into her mind again and she knew that it was too much. She would seriously harm him and she refused to let that happen. She heard Dumbledore go to disarm her.

_Stop!_

She used to strongest most authoritarian voice she had to make the command. She watched as Sirius and Dumbledore froze and she felt the power of Sirius' spell disappear.

_Relax _she thought, and they both looked at her in concern.

'I don't want to do this anymore…I need a break…otherwise I'm really going to hurt you.'

Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but Dumbledore cut him off.

'well done Alina, now i'm sure the two of you need sleep, i'll send you word tomorrow of what time i expect to see you in my office.'

* * *

'So he said that we don't have to go every night now, just check in and Alli's got to do some practise exercises on her own' Sirius told everyone a month later at breakfast.

'Ahhh it's good to have you back Alli!' Lily squealed, squeezing her friend's arm.

'Oh shutup Lil' Alina laughed, rolling her eyes 'you're acting like i've been missing!'

'Well you might aswell have been for the amount of time i've seen you' Lily grumbled.

Alina opened her mouth to reply but a loud crash from Slytherin table interrupted her. They all turned in the direction of the sound, and immediately the hall exploded in laughter.

Alina turned to the Marauders who were sitting with wide grins on their faces, tears of laughter streaming down her cheeks 'You didn't!?' she asked.

'We did!' Peter squeeked, his eyes wide with excitement.

Alina turned her attention back to Severus Snape who was now attempting to run from the great hall. Above his head were two giant frying pans which were causing the loud noise by crashing together every few seconds, and as a result of this crash Snape's head was transfiguring into the shape of a different animal. As he hastily rushed past Gryffindor table it happened to be in the shape of a pig.

'OI SNIVVILUS!'

At James' shout, the laughter in the hall slightly died down as people turned in amusement to hear what James had to say.

'Awwww...you should get yourself to the hospital wing!' James cooed in mock concern, smirking at the clearly thunderous expression on the pig's face.

'I didn't realise pigs could look so angry' Remus remarked in his polite voice, immediately earning a bark of laughter from Sirius, as it was very rare for Remus to join in in such antics.

'And Snivelly? Maybe you should ask if you can keep the pigs face...it's definately an improvement' Sirius added in his casually arrogant tone which he knew irritated Snape.

The pig's face contorted into what was meant as a scowl and Snape let out a high pitched squeel of anger, which was immediately met with a roar of laughter. With that, Snape turned away and ran from the hall.

'James!' Lily began angrily.

'Don't you start!' James snapped, causing Lily's eyes to widen in shock 'When my girlfriend is left fighting for her life in the hospital wing I have the right to do whatever the hell I like to the person who caused it'

Lily has automatically opened her mouth to argue, but immediately shut her mouth again.

'It is true...he does' Sirius said in an incredibly patronising tone, patting Lily on the hand 'now Prongs, I think we can call that a success...so any ideas of what to do next...'

The four girls were immediately forgotten about as the four marauders bent down with their heads together, whispering in excited tones.

'Boys' Alice rolled her eyes, and they all laughed.

'So, what are you all doing for the Easter holidays? I think i'm going home, Mum thinks staying away for Christmas and Easter is to long, what about you?' Polly asked.

'Home I think, I have to meet my sisters new boyfriend' Lily rolled her eyes 'according to Petunia he's 'amazing' but Dad says he's just a pompous little sh- well, he doesn't like him much' she giggled.

'I'm going to Frank's house, i'm meeting the family!'Alice's eyes sparkled with happiness. The girls immediately began an excited conversation about Alice's meeting with Frank's parents and focused mainly on what she was going to wear.

'- so i'm not to sure, dress or jeans?!' Alice turned to Alina, her eyes full of dispair.

Alina grinned 'first impression, jeans. Dress it up with a nice top and either boots or pumps...that way you're not to casual and not to dressy.'

Alice immediately looked soothed and Alina laughed.

'Oh we forgot, are you going home Alli?'

'Nope, I plan on staying - oh!' Alina's eyes were focused on the group of owls which were currently soaring through the window 'Oh no!'

'Alli? What?'

The girls turned, trying to figure out what Alina was staring at.

'Alli?'

The sound of her friends questioning voices seemed so distant to Alina that she barely acknowledged them, her attention was intirely focused on the regal looking owl which was soaring straight towards her.

'Hello Bailey' she muttered, greeting the large owl as he landed infront of her and held out his foot. With trembling hands Alina took the letter from him, and gazed down at her mothers familiar writing.

'It's - erm - a - a letter from home' Alina told Lily who was now shaking her shoulder.

'Oh'

Alina could hear how Lily was trying to sound casual, trying to mask the suprise in her voice, because Lily knew for well that ever since Alina had been to Hogwarts she had never recieved a letter from home.

Alina took a deep breath and opened the letter, thanking God that Sirius hadn't noticed anything odd going on, because that was all she needed!

_To our darling Alina._

_It was such as shame that you had to leave us so early on during the Christmas holidays, we had such little time to spend with you_

_and you missed out on the Christmas Ball! Such a shame! However, that is, of course, not the only reason i am writing to you dear._

_We met with Mr and Mrs De Valle over Christmas; it was a shame not to see Marcus, but how lucky you go to school together! I_

_remember the two of you got on famously! Anyway, your father and I were very surpised when we were informed of your close_

_friendship with a fellow peer at your school named Sirius Black. Of course we both know of the Black family, as esteemed as they _

_are, that does not, however, detur our dissapointment at not being informed of such a connection by yourself. You can only _

_imagine how this irriated your father. We both feel, darling, that it is best that we are formally introduced to Sirius, whilst we are_

_positive that a boy who comes from such a renowned family will be thouroughly suitable, your father and I feel that we should deem_

_this suitability for outselves. Therefore you and Sirius will be staying with us over the Easter holidays._

_Your car will be picking you up from Kings Cross Station._

_We shall see you soon darling._

_Love and best wishes_

_Mother and Father._

For a moment Alina thought that she was going to pass out. Blood rushed straight to her head and she felt physically sick.

_Sirius...come to stay at her house?_

The thought made her shudder, and what made it worse was the fact that she knew there was no choice in the matter. _Calm down_ she told herself, and immediately, her throat which had constriced opened up and she gasped in fresh air.

'ALLI?!'

Alina suddenly became aware of Alice waving in a rediculously exaggerated manner infront of her face, calling her name way to loud.

'Alli?'

_Oh great_.

Sirius' concerned voice reached her ears and she flinched, now she had no time to buy, he knew that something was up and she knew that she was going to have to tell him.

'It's a - er - letter from my mother' Alina began and then stopped. She was suprised by the sudden strength of emotion which had hit her. The letter had, in fact, seemed caring, as if a truly interested mother had written it, sending her love and concerns. It hurt Alina to know that her mother had most definately been instructed to write the letter, and particularly to write it in a way which would cause anyone else who read it to believe in the caring family facade.

'Alli?'

Alina laughed shakily at his concerned expression 'why are you looking at me like that you wolly? It's a letter telling me that you've got to come and stay with me over the Easter'

'Telling you?' Sirius raised his eyebrows.

'Yep telling me. You see they have to 'approve you'...you really don't have a choice' Alina told him airily, in a tone that hid the fact that her stomach was contorting in knots.

'Any tips?' Sirius turned to James, grinning.

'Yeah...whatever you do...don't be yourself' James told him, and slapped him on the back.

**A/N: I AM SOOOOOOO SORRYY HOW LONG THIS HAS TAKEN TO PUT UP! I am not joking I STILL have house guests and between revision and work i can't find a time to get in the computer room when no one else is there! So i've started writing on my laptop, which has no microsoft :( so have written on wordpad...it doesn't tell me if there are spelling mistakes - i've done my best to spot them but i'm sorry if i've missed any! I should be writing alot more often now! Sorrry **

**Hannah x**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 18:**

Sirius and James sat beside each other, staring down at the opened parcel on James' lap, with identical looks of confusion and disgust on their faces.

'What's it for?' Sirius asked, voicing both his and James' thoughts.

'I really don't know Padfoot...why would my mum send me it? Does she think I'll wear it?!'

Sirius patted his friend on the back

'I think she's lost it mate'

James just nodded in agreement. They both continued to stare in disgusted silence at the dark grey suit James' mum had sent him until a polite cough from the corner of the dorm interrupted.

'Erm - have you even bothered to read the note?' Remus asked in a quietly amused tone.

'Note? - Oh!' James grabbed the discarded note from the floor and quickly read, as he did so his face spread into a sly grin, finally, he threw the note at Sirius and burst out in laugher, causing Peter to fall off of his bed in alarm.

'Wha-?' Sirius began in confusion and then stopped, his face dropped into a look of dread and disbelief.

'No...'

'Yep!' James grinned.

'No way!'

'Yep!' James laughed.

'But...I won't...No!'

'You will'

Sirius aimed a hard punch at James, which he swiftly dodged.

'It looks like my mum reckons you need a nice posh suit to match the nice posh parents you're going to be meeting!'

Sirius threw himself face down onto his bed, letting out a loud yell of frustration.

'Cheer up Padfoot...I think it'll look nice on you!' Peter told him warmly, only to receive a bark of laughter from both James and Sirius.

'Oh Padfoot I think you're going to look _oh so handsome_!' James began, putting on a high pitched voice, an evil grin on his face.

'OH WORMTAIL YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME _BLUSH_!' Sirius yelled, his voice growing more and more girly.

'I just meant -' Peter began.

'That suit will look _absolutely _dashing!' James grew more and more flamboyant pulling Sirius over to him.

Sirius let out an extremely high pitched giggle 'Oh Wormy if you'd like I can take the suit off for you' he gave a little wiggle and with that the two went galloping around the dormitory in a mixture of a dance and wrestling with a cry of 'OH WORMYYY' every now and then.

'SHUT UP!' Peter yelled, causing James and Sirius to stop in alarm. Peter's face was a brilliant shade of red and his pudgy hands were balled into fists.

'Calm down Wormtail! We were just joking!' James laughed.

Peter looked from James' to Sirius' infuriating grins and stomped out of the dorm.

A moment of stunned silence followed, James and Sirius both looked at Remus, who merely shrugged. It was extremely rare for Peter to get angry at them, in fact, it had never happened before.

'It's all right Prongs...he just wanted to be the one dancing with me that's all' Sirius grinned.

'You can laugh now Padfoot...but you're the one who has to wear that suit!' Remus' amused voice immediately wiped the grin off of Sirius' face.

'They're gunna hate me' Sirius flopped back down onto his bed, his head in his hands, looking utterly defeated.

'Oh come on Prongs! You just need to switch on a bit of the old Sirius Black charm!'

'Exactly' Remus agreed 'and you've got the hardest part out of the way'

'I have?'

'You got the girl mate...and even I have to give it to you...I never thought you'd manage to get Alina' James shook his head in amazement.

'Yeah that's true...hang on! What's that supposed to mean?! When haven't I been able to get the girl?!' Sirius asked indignantly.

'James?'

The sound of Lily's hesitant voice from the stairway stopped James from making a snide remark.

'Come in babe!' he called walking over to the door.

'Are you sure? Because last time you said come in Peter was naked!'

The three boys all grinned at each other at the memory of Lily's horrified scream.

'Aww you know that was an accident...I didn't realise! Come in!'

'Yeah come on Evans! It's not Peter this time it's me! And I look great naked!' Sirius yelled.

'Oh shut up Sirius!' Lily poked her head slowly round the door and after seeing that everyone was clothed she entered. She walked straight to the nearest bed and threw herself on it sighing in relief.

'Your girlfriend is doing my head in!' she moaned at Sirius.

'Why?'

'I have never in my life seen her so nervous! And I hope I never do again...' she gave an involuntary shudder 'it's not often you get to see Alli stressed out and thank god for that!'

Sirius grimaced ' so if she's that nervous...that means I have every need to be...what are they like Lil?' he asked.

'What are who like?' Lily replied in confusion.

'Her parents!'

'I don't know! I've never met them...and Alli sure as hell doesn't talk about them!'

'You've never met her parent's?' James asked clearly baffled 'but you two have been friends since...well forever!'

'She always comes to stay at mine in the holidays or we go to either Alice or Pol's' Lily shrugged.

'But - but her house must be massive!' James retorted.

'Alina doesn't like going home' Remus said calmly.

'What?' Sirius asked sharply.

Remus raised an eyebrow 'Alina. She doesn't like going home' he stated.

'How do you know that?'

'She told me. A long time ago. She prefers Hogwarts, that's all...there's no need to snap Padfoot'

'Sorry'

Sirius tried to wipe the frown off of his face. It was only recently that he was starting to become aware of a jealous streak he had never known before. There was a hold Alina had over him, a way about her that was different to any other girl he had known. Of course, he had been aware of the intensity of his feelings for her for a long time...he knew that no other girl could compare to her, but the sudden bursts of jealousy he felt when thinking of another boy being close to her shocked him. Something as trivial as Remus knowing something about Alina that he didn't sufficed, and he was struggling to hide it.

Sirius jumped, and realised that Lily was talking to him.

'- so from what I've heard this morning through all of her babble, you're going to have to be really polite...I'm talking seriously sucking up...so basically, use that famous charm of yours as best as you can...and good luck' she grinned, flipped her hair and left the dorm, pausing for a second at the door ' see you in a bit James'

'She's...' James just shook his head, a sickly expression on his face.

'We know Prongs' Remus told him, having learnt to cut him off before he went into a speech on Lily Evans 'and just to let you know Sirius...we've got to leave in 10 minutes'

'Oh god...' Sirius groaned.

* * *

Alina ran through the corridors, pushing through groups of teenagers and sending more than one first year flying. Her mind was reeling and a sense of annoyance had spread through her body.

_What the hell did Dumbledore want?_

She glanced at her watch and groaned, there was 20 minutes until she had to leave for the train and she was sure that she had forgotten something. She skidded to a halt outside of Dumbledore's study and hastily knocked.

'Come in Alina' the familiar old voice sounded.

'You wanted to see me Professor?'

'Yes…please sit'

Alina frowned; the worried look on her headmaster's face seemed so alien to her that she began to panic.

_What could be wrong?_

'I know you have to leave soon, so I'm going to get straight to the point...'

Alina nodded, keen to know what it was that Dumbledore was worrying about.

'Things are getting bad Alina. Worse than you could imagine…and they are only going to grow steadily worse. A war is coming Alina.'

Alina took in a sharp intake of breath, a nervous knot formed in her stomach as she waited for Dumbledore to continue.

'I am not telling you this to scare you, but I feel that you of all people need to understand the horrific reality of the situation. People are going to die. We all know it is happening at the moment, but the numbers will grow. And you? With your powers? You are going to become essential; Voldemort is going to want you and when you leave here he won't take no as an answer.'

'I will never follow him!' Alina surprised herself by the sudden intensity of anger in her voice. Dumbledore smiled.

'I don't doubt that Alina. This is why I must speak to you. I will be speaking to others like you, asking for their support. What I ask of you all…that you join forces against Voldemort in an organisation named the Order of the Phoenix is a lot…but what I ask of you is so much more.'

Dumbledore froze, apparently unsure how to carry on.

'Just ask me Sir…I want to help'

'Alina what I am going to ask of you is dangerous. I only ask as I know that as an individual you are incredibly strong and with your powers you are of great use. There are students in this school, I am sure you know of whom I am speaking, who have chosen the path in which they wish to follow. They have chosen darkness. Yet while they are here, while they are young and untrained as true death eaters we have an advantage. Alina, I want you to get close to these people. I understand that you are already associated with Marcus De Valle? Would it be possible for you to broaden that connection? We need to know what they know…it may give us essential information into Voldemort's movements.'

There was a moment of silence 'You want me to coax it out? Or to read their minds?'

Dumbledore smiled; a smile that was both happy and sad.

'Both' he said.

'I'll do my best Sir…I promise' Alina grimaced at the thought of playing nice to Marcus.

'That is all I ask Alina...and that is already too much.'

Alina turned to leave and then paused.

'My friends…can they know?'

'Tell them as little as possible…I am sure you may have noticed Severus Snape has taken to Occlumency incredibly well….I am sorry that I ask so much of you Alina'

Alina shrugged 'It's all for the greater good I guess'

Dumbledore froze for a moment, looking deeply into her eyes.

'Yes…yes it is' he smiled.

* * *

'- And when the door is opened –'

'He goes in and lets the butler take his coat' Alice chimed in a sing song voice.

'And then we'll go to-'

'Your fathers study?' Remus asked in a politely amused voice.

'Yeah…and when you meet him –'

'He shakes his hand…firmly!'

James gasped in mock astonishment 'Oh God forbid it's not firm! A proper man's handshake Padfoot!'

'And you call him –'

'SIR!' they all yelled together and laughed. Alina blinked in surprise, having been too stressed out to realise that her friends had been teasing her.

'Come on Alli it's going to be all right…okay?' Sirius pulled her onto his lap and squeezed her reassuringly.

'Exactly Al, I mean I think I'd be ready to meet your dad! Sirius is gunna be fine! He's all ready charmed my parents into loving him!' James grinned at his friend.

'Yeah well Mrs Potter has always had a thing for me –OUCH' Sirius rubbed his arm which James had just punched hard.

As the train came to a stand still Alina's face visibly paled.

'Alli it's going to be fine!' Lily whispered, hooking her arm through her friend's as they got off of the train 'Oh I almost forgot! Are you coming to James' house in the holidays? He's having a party' the excitement was clear in her voice.

Alina grinned 'I'm sure we'll make it…my father works all the time anyway he'll hardly notice if we're gone...well I hope anyway!'

They all walked through the barrier together and stood for a moment in silence on the Kings Cross platform.

'It's going to be weird being away from everyone' Polly said quietly leaning in to Remus' embrace.

'I know! But we're all going to James' party right? So when we do see each other we can get completely SMASHED!' everyone laughed at Alice's shouting, and more than one parent nearby shook their head in disapproval at her.

'I guess we'll see you then?' Alina pulled the girls into a tight hug as the boys rolled their eyes at them and then, taking Sirius' hand, headed towards the car park.

* * *

'Your hands are sweating' Alina smiled looking over at Sirius' deathly pale face.

'Can you blame me?' he squeaked, gesturing around at the large town car they were sitting in.

'Erm Sirius?'

'Yeah?'

'Just don't lose it when we get there 'kay?'

The car slowed down to a stop as two colossal gates slowly began to open before them.

'Is this your street?' Sirius asked nervously.

'Erm…no babe…this is my driveway'

'What?!' Sirius gulped, looking out at the sweeping gardens. To the right of them was a fishing lake, a small rowing boat floating serenely on it by the dock, a giant Willow tree stood over it, it's draping leaves sweeping against the ripples of the water. The grounds were clearly maintained daily. Not a blade of grass lay out of place, the countless beds of beautiful flowers sat picturesquely under the sunshine. There was no denying to tranquil beauty of the gardens, yet they were completely overshadowed as Sirius' eyes fell upon Alina's house for the first time.

It was clearly old. The history of the building seeped from every brick. The front of the house had ivy creeping over its regal red bricks. Four white marble pillars lined the entrance, leading to the vast oak doors. Sirius began to count the gleaming windows but the car came to a stop before he could get past nine.

'Wow' he breathed.

'Don't be intimidated' Alina whispered as she got out of the car.

'Don't be intimidated?' Sirius laughed nervously 'I can't remember my name!'

'Sirius Black!' she hissed '_The_ Sirius Black. Don't you forget that!'

* * *

The walk to her father's study was long and nerve wracking. Alina cursed the silence as the sound of their footsteps echoed throughout the house. Finally they reached the door, and Alina felt the familiar tingle of fear erupt through her veins. Taking a deep breath she calmed her shaking hands and turned to Sirius.

'Ready?' she asked him, smiling slightly at the expression of terror on his face.

'I guess?'

If she had thought the echoing of their footsteps had been horrible, words could not describe her feelings as the echo of each knock on her father's door bounced back at her. Flashbacks of being summoned to this very study as a girl haunted her. The feeling of utter terror at knowing what was waiting behind the door made her flinch to even think about. She knew that Sirius had been absorbing the historic beauty of her house, the utter perfection of it's decoration and it's brilliant size, but for her, it held nothing but evil…to her it was ugly.

'Come in'

'Hello daddy' Alina squeaked peaking around the door.

'Come in, come in! Say hello properly!'

Alina obediently went to her father's outstretched arms, fighting with all her might not to shudder as he held her and as she kissed him dutifully on the cheek.

Sirius stood by the door solemnly.

'This is Sirius Daddy'

Sirius immediately walked forward, and outstretched his arm.

'Hmm…a good hand shake you have there son'

'Thank you Sir'

'So you are my daughter's…good friend yes?'

'Yes that's right Sir.'

'Well I'll have to be the judge of that'

'Of course Sir' Sirius replied politely, his voice cracking slightly with nerves.

Alina sighed in relief as her father smiled 'you are very welcome here son…Now Lilli-'Alina winced at the nickname 'You must take Sirius to the conservatory, your mother is waiting there with tea.'

'Okay, I'll see you later then'

'Goodbye, Sir'

'Goodbye…Sirius'

Fortunately Sirius turned immediately to leave; he did not catch the cold steely glare that her father was giving him. For a moment Alina's blue eyes connected with his cold grey ones and a shiver went up her spine, the anger and dangerous glint caused an ominous sense of fear to hang over her, and she knew it would remain for the rest of Sirius' stay.

* * *

'Your mum's brilliant' Sirius grinned as they walked upstairs to their rooms.

Alina fixed a false grin on her face in return. She could not deny she hadn't enjoyed the performance her mother had put on. She had loved every minute of it…because if she tried really hard to forget it was an act, for a moment it had seemed as if her mother was being…well…motherly.

The warm embrace she had given both herself and Sirius…the interest in what had been going on at school…the gladness that she had come back for the holidays. It had seemed too real. Yet now, walking back to her room felt like she was returning to prison. The warmth of her mother's greeting now seemed to be the taunts of a prison guard.

'Yeah, she's great' she managed to force out.

They paused at the top of the staircase. Acknowledging for the first time that their rooms were at the opposite ends of the house to each other.

Sirius pulled her to him and looked down at her with his carelessly breathtaking lop sided grin.

'I'm guessing it's not an accident' he muttered, his voice sounding deliciously seductive.

Alina could only shake her head. Words suddenly becoming impossible to form.

'Goodnight Alli' he breathed, his lips so close that she could feel his warm breath on her cheeks.

She melted into his arms as he gently brought their lips together. As the kiss deepened a new sensation crept over her, something she had never experienced before. It was need. The need for the kiss to go further…for his touch. She pressed herself closer to him and she heard him moan in response.

The creak of someone climbing the stairs caused them to suddenly break apart. Both breathing heavily they stared into each others eyes, the powerful lust reflected in them.

'Goodnight' she whispered as she left him and entered the confides of her bedroom.

'Goodnight' she heard him whisper in return as she closed her bedroom door.

That night Alina slept restlessly, dreams of Sirius causing her to toss and turn. So the sound of someone turning the handle on her door woke her immediately.

For a second she allowed a glimmer of hope jolt through her body at the thought of it being Sirius, but almost as suddenly the thought had come, reality had settled in.

The sound of her father's heavy breathing caused her stomach to turn.

'Daddy?' she asked, clinging to the hope that he would go away…decide to stop.

'Yes baby. You've been a bad girl' he drawled.

'No…no please! Don't…please!' she begged pressing herself against the wall.

'You know that's not going to happen…you may like that boy but I know you want this'

'I'll scream I swear!'

She panicked as he grabbed her, his strength dominating her own.

For a split second she submitted to the fear. She froze as his hand wandered up her nightgown…stroked between her legs.

It was the animalistic grunt he emitted as he touched her that brought her to her senses.

_I don't have to let him. I'm powerful. I can stop him._

The realisation dawned on her and she could have cried with happiness.

'I am warning you father. If you don't stop now I will make you.'

A low chuckle responded to this as her father began to climb on top of her.

'Stop' she said. Immediately her father froze.

'Get back'

In response to her words her father was thrown onto the floor. He looked up at her in alarm.

'You will not touch me anymore' she told him 'now leave'

Alina was not sure whether it was due to her order or due to his own will but she felt a surge of relief as her father exited her room. She felt powerful. For the first time in a very long while she felt in control.

**A/N: Okay so TRYING my hardest to update as soon as I can, but have exams this month so struggling to balance my revision! I hope you like it...this is kind of a connecting chapter...so sorry not much is happening but i'll make the next one more eventful! Please keep reviewing! They are my inspiraration to keep going!**

**Thanks **

**Hannah xxxx**


	18. Chapter 18

Alina's heart lifted as she padded downstairs the next morning and found Sirius sitting in the Kitchen with a cup of tea.

'Morning' she smiled as he jumped at her voice.

'Oh, hey!' he ran a hand casually through his hair and grinned 'Your mum sorted me out some breakfast' he explained, acknowledging the questioning look she was giving the fry up on the table in front of him. Ignoring the jab of irritation at her mother for being so fake Alina breathed in the scent of cooking bacon.

'If my mother's ever cooked something in her life I would kiss Snape! Smokey's responsible for that masterpiece!' she grinned.

Sirius frowned slightly at the thought of Snape kissing Alina, 'who's Smoke-'

'Morning Darling'

'Oh morning Mother'

'What would you like for breakfast dear?'

Alina narrowed her eyes, it was growing difficult to deal with her mother. It angered her that for a complete stranger she was able to act completely normal and completely sane yet for the sake of her own daughter she wasn't able to. It hurt. And the fact that it still hurt after all these years is what angered her the most.

'I'll tell Smokey when I see him' she said tightly,avoiding making eye contact with her mother, and she cursed herself silently at the slight frown Sirius gave her. It seemed that she needed to work harder at playing the role of the 'perfect daughter.'

****

He knew that Alina had some sort of issue with her parents. Previously, Sirius had assumed them to be incredibly stuck up, possibly to selfish to care for their only daughter, however that was before he had met them. He wasn't imagining the cold edge that clung to every word Alina spoke to her mother, and yet it was so subtle that he wondered if her mother was even picking up on it herself. He couldn't help feeling annoyed, having been brought up knowing only cruely and hatred within his family, it infuriated him that Alina, who was so privaledged and obviously cared for, could be so cruel to her parents.

He thanked Alina's mother extra brightly in an attempt to make up for her daughters coldness, and recieved a beaming smile as Mrs Blake left the room.

'What is wrong with you?' he immediately turned to Alina, shaking his head in confusion.

'Nothing's wrong with me' the defenciveness was clear in her voice.

'Alli, your house is amazing, you have everything you could possibly want and not to mention your parents are great...so why are you being so horrible to your mum?'

'Horrible? I'm not being horrible' she said absently, as if trying to distance herself from the argument at hand.

'No, you're not being out right horrible...you're being cold, and all your mother was trying to do was be nice!' Sirius was having trouble at trying to keep his voice low, whilst feeling completely exhasperated.

'You don't know anything...expecially about my mother' Alina turned away from him, her chin set in defiance and a dangerous glint in her eyes.

'Well she obviously lov-'

'She may come across as loving and perfect, but don't you dare try and tell me something you have no idea about. She isn't what you think and believe me...you would know if she cared about me. Especially today'

'What d'you mean espe-'

The re-entrance of Mrs Blake caused Sirius to cut off mid sentence to prevent their argument from being heard.

'Oh sorry to interrupt' Mrs Blake giggled, and Sirius noticed Alina visibly shudder at the sound. He shook his head. 'I just wanted to make sure that Alina told you about the party tonight?'

'Oh-erm- kind of...she mentioned it'

'Have you got something to wear dear? Because if not we have plenty of spar-'

'Oh no, I have a suit with me, but thank you'

Mrs Blake smiled at him 'Oh lovely. I'll be off then...be ready by seven dears all right?'

There was an awkward silence after Mrs Blake left the kitchen. Sirius sighed. This was not the way he had planned his first morning here would be, looking across the table at Alina's stony face, he could not help the slight twitch in the corner of his mouth, threatening a smile. She was so beautiful. So stubborn.

_So beautifully stubborn_ he thought.

She noticed his expression and her mouth bent involntarily into a small smile.

'You're bloody stubborn' he told her.

'Well you're bloody ignorant!'

'MISS BLAKE!'

A highpitched squeak caused Sirius to jump so violently that he nearly fell off of his chair, simultaneaously Alina sprung out of hers and ran over to an extremely over excited house elf which had just made an appearence.

'Hello Smokey!' she grinned pulling herself out of the house elf's grasp.

'How is you Miss?'

'I'm good thank you Smokey, this is Sirius' she turned towards him, a coy smile on her lips.

'Hello Sir!' the little elf squeaked, a bright grin on his face 'OHHHHH!' the sudden shreek caused both Sirius and Alina to jump in suprise.

'Miss Alli I has something for you!'

Out of no where a large chocolate cake appeared in the elfs hands, happily grinning toothily at his Mistress.

'Happy Birthday Miss Alli!'

'Oh Smokey you shouldn't have!'

Sirius froze. Happy Birthday? But it couldn't be...she would have told him...wouldn't she? He looked from the little Elf's adoring smile to Alina's warm expression. He was completely disgusted with himself. How could he have never asked when her birthday was? Surely that is something that should come up, but then, Alina had never been one to welcome attention...and he had never seen her celebrating her birthday. He knew he would have noticed as during their younger years it would have given him an excellent opportunity to prank her.

A sudden thought hit him like a brick wall. The fact that her mother had been here this morning, had held a conversation with them both and had offered to get Alina breakfast. Not once mentioning her daughter's birthday.

_Especially today_

Alina's words echoed through his mind. Once again he had proved himself to be hypocritical, judging Alina on her actions towards her family, without truly understanding everything. He stood up and walked slowly over to Alina, who was busy admiring her birthday cake (much to Smokey's deligt.) He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her close to him, he lent forward so that his mouth was slightly brushing her ear. He was dangerously close.

'It seems like you've been keeping a secret _birthday girl'_

He grinned to himself as he felt Alina shiver at his words. He was going to make today the best he possibly could for her, and then, was going to make tonight perfect.

****

'Today was fun' Alina smiled lazily as she lay back in the boat,floating peacefully under the spring sunglight on the Lake in her grounds.

'I'm glad you thought so' Sirius smiled, although looking slightly traumatized.

Alina laughed as she thought back to Sirius' horrified face at having experienced the London Underground for the first time.

'Look you were the one who thought it would be fun to do things the muggle way' she giggled.

'Well you never said that it was going to be like the entire population of knockturn alley trapped in a tin can!'

'Oh it wasn't that ba-'

'The person next to me started stroking me' he said bluntly.

'Well she might of liked you!'

'It was a he.'

'Well _he _might of liked you!' she struggled not to choke on the laughter she was trying to supress.

'_He _kept calling me Kitty.'

The agonized expression on Sirius' face was enough to break her self control and she exploded in laughter.

'Okay...all right...one minute' she held up a finger signalling that she was almost done with her hysterics ' I won't ever put you through that again...okay?'

'Okay' his mouth twisting slightly into a grin 'but it was a good day wasn't it...'

They had spent the day doing a bit of 'everything' as Alina had put it. Visiting the main attractions, shopping down Oxford street and finally after Alina had spent the entire day gushing about how amazing they were, going to Brick Lane to get bagels.

'It was perfect' she smiled.

'SHIT!'

Sirius' yell caused Alina to jump violently,and the boat rocked ominously.

'What the hell Sirius!' she complained, thinking he had lost his mind.

'What's the time?'

'SHIT!' she echoed.

'It's six!' they both let out a deep groan.

'And we _have_ to be ready by seven or I swear to God Sirius...they will actually kill us.'

Sirius grimaced. From the deadly serious look on his girlfriends face, he didn't doubt a word.

****

'So what do you think?' Alina asked, standing infront of her full length mirror, giving a twirl 'Ta da!'

The refection of Lily in the mirror gave out a squeal of excitement 'Oh Alli you look lovely!'

'Thank you' she blushed.

After finding out about James and Sirius' use of mirrors as communication Alina had decided that herself and Lily needed to follow their lead. Being girls however, it was essential that the mirror was full length, so that it was ideal in situations such as this.

'So, do you think you and Sirius are gunna be able to sneak out tomorrow?' Lily whispered, flashing her a mischievious grin.

'My fathers going to a friends house, which means he won't be back till the early morning...so i think it's pretty safe to say we'll be seeing you at James'...i'm looking forward to it...'

A loud knocking at her door interupted their conversation. 'Sorry Lil got to go...see you tomorrow 'kay?'

'Have fun' she heard her friend call as she rushed out of her room.

She ran head first into her father.

'Sorry' she grumbled. For a second their eyes met. A searing tension errupted in the air around them. Alina raised an eyebrow nonchalently and walked past him, not looking back and silently cursing herself for allowing her hands to shake so violently.

A dark scowl was edged deeply onto her face when Sirius first saw her. Despite the deep frown, the way her lips were curled angrily and the venum in her eyes her beauty was overwhelming. She was wearing a midnight blue gown, it had one shoulder strap, which was a thick plait and a further plait round the middle which defined her waist. It was simple, yet incredibly elegant. Her hair was pulled back into an elegant knot, highlighting her striking facial features, her saphire eyes and prominent cheek bones reminded him of a russian ballerina.

He tried to wipe the soppy grin off of his face...despite the fact that he knew that he was in love with her, he had an image to keep. He wasn't about to become one of those tight wearing, poetry spurting (he ignored his previous dose of poetry he had recited) romeo's who followed their girls around like a puppy. He was Sirius Black.

He regained composure, flashing her a lop sided grin and holding his hand out for her.

'You look amazing'

The scowl washed completely off of her face and she smirked 'you don't scrub up to bad yourself'

Sirius raised his eyebrows at her 'Really? We both know who has the looks in this relationship'

'God help me you are so arrogant'

Sirius grinned 'but you didn't deny it did you.'

Alina had to admit that she was impressed at the speed in which Sirius dodged the smack she aimed at him.

'Come on lets go you idiot' she laughed.

***

'Oh God'

Alina had to supress a smile as she head Sirius' inward groan as they entered the ball room.

'I didn't even hear these people arrive!' he hissed at her, still taking in the fact that she had a ball room in her house.

'They entered from the patio so you wouldn't...just stay calm Sirius' she whispered, her face plastered into a fake smile.

'Why has that man got a camera?' he asked.

'Paparrazi' she said from behind her teeth.

'You've got to be kidding m-'

'Just smile!'

'There you two are' Mrs Blake came out of no where 'your father just went to get you' her eyes were darting frantically around the ball room as if confused as to what was going on.

'Erm - Sirius...would you mind going to get me a drink?' Alina asked, noticing the warning signs etched on her mother's face.

'Oh...er..yeah sure...would you like anything Mrs Blake?'

'What?'

'Would you like a drink?'

'I don't...I want...Alina I want' Mrs Blake's voice, although still very low, became frantic.

'No she's fine Sirius'

Sirius took in Alina's expression, she had paled slightly, and her jaw was set in determination, yet her eyes did not give her feelings away.

As she watched him walk away, a mixture of both relief and regret washed over her. All she wanted was to share the night with Sirius, yet when her mother was behaving this way she knew it was best for him to not be around. She sighed, and spotted her father entering the room.

'Come on mother' she took her mothers hand, and held tightly as her mother tried to break her grip.

'Daddy, mother's not feeling very well'

The look of thunderous anger in her father's eyes was terrifying. Alina held her breath for a moment, and tightened her grip on her mother who was beginning to try and tug her hand away.

'Very well, come here dear' he half dragged his wife to him and pulled her close. Alina saw his mouth move as he whispered into his wife's ear, she could not hear what he had said, but judging by the petrified look in her mother's eyes and the way she had begun to tremble, she could only assume if was a threat that he intended to carry out to punish her.

'Take her to bed Lili'

'Let's go Mummy'

As soon as they reached the staircase her mother became hysterical.

'Get OFF OF ME!' she cried, sobbing and lashing out at her daughter. Alina looked at her sadly, watching her as she sunk to the floor in a disheveled pile. She took a deep breath, knowing that she wasn't going to be able to get her mother to move silently without using magic, and silence on a night like this was crucial. Alina could only shudder at the thought of what would happen if someone saw her mother like this.

'Come with me. Let me help you' she spoke the words deliberately, every fibre in her body echoing the authority in her voice. Her mother rose automatically, and allowed her daughter to place a supportive arm around her as they headed up the stairs.

'Muffliato' Alina mumbled, preventing anyone from hearing anything going on upstairs.

'I can't let you help me.' her mother mumbled as her daughter helped her to get into bed,'there's nothing anyone can do to help me'

Alina felt her eyes well up as she absorbed the brief moment of sanity that had just surfaced within her mother.

_You're right. _She thought.

'You're wrong!' she said firmly.

Mrs Blake just smiled briefly in understanding at her daughter, before her eyes lost their focus.

'Get out' she spat.

Alina turned away from her, and her fingers trembled as she unlocked the cabnet, leaving out a large bottle of Vodka. She looked back at her mother briefly as she placed it on the side next to bottle of coke. She knew there was no point, only one of those bottles was going to be consumed.

'Night Mummy' she whispered, before locking and bolting her mother's door and heading back to the party.

****

**A/N: Thank you so much for all of your reviews I really appreciate them, they give me the inspiration to keep writing! Please keep reviewing!! And those of you who are reading and not reviewing please please please just take a second to review, i like to know what everyone thinks!**

**Thanks **

**Hannah x**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19:**

'There you are!' Sirius' relieved voice sounded from behind her 'where did you go?'

'Sorry, my mum's not well so I went upstairs with her to make sure she got to bed all right' she took the drink from Sirius and took a large gulp, ignoring his raised eyebrows.

'My girlfriend...looks like an angel...drinks like a man' he said proudly.

She elbowed him slyly in the ribs, causing him to suck in a breath of air and wince. Alina's eyes strayed past his overly dramatic expression,however, and focused entirely at the family now entering the hall. The De'Valle family.

'Urgh not him' she heard Sirius' disgusted voice.

The mission Dumbledore had set her immediately sprung to mind. This was her opportunity.

'He's not too bad' she told him tightly.

'What!'

'I've known him for a long time..he-he's okay...if you get to know him...' the lie was clear in her tone, yet she ignored Sirius' confused glare 'oh come on, my father's calling us over'

* * *

'Lady Alina! You look beautiful, as always!' Mrs De'valle gushed.

'Thank you Mrs De'Valle, as do you' Alina smiled 'Hello Mr De Valle, Marcus' she smiled sweetly.

'I'd like to introduce you to Sirius Black...he's Alina's...friend'

'Black...Orion's son?I know your Uncle rather well Mr Black'

'I'm sure he's lucky to have such an aquantence' Sirius replied airily, the sarcasm only apparent to Alina's ears.

'I believe i'm the lucky one, an excellent man he is'

Alina saw a muscle in Sirius' jaw twitch, Mr De'Valle's sucking up was clearly irritating him as much as it did her.

'It's a shame really, Marcus was hoping to share a dance with you Lady Alina...you hit it off so well before'

Alina ignored the icy glare that Sirius gave Marcus briefly and smiled obligingly to Mrs De Valle.

'Oh i'm sure Sirius won't mind' Marcus' silky voice aired, as he smirked at her. Alina subtly placed a warning hand on Sirius' arm as she felt him tense up.

'No. I don't mind at all' he assured them stiffly, and stood back as Marcus took Alina's hand and led her onto the dance floor.

'Oh don't worry Sirius, come with me, I shall find you another young lady to dance with whilst Marcus dances with Lady Alina' Mrs De Valle linked arms with Sirius and led him away from the group.

* * *

'You're boyfriend wants to kill me'

'Do you blame him?' Alina raised an eyebrow at him.

Marcus chuckled, his laugh cruel and cold, sending chills up Alina's spine.

'And you? Do you want to kill me?' he asked, his grip growing tighter on hers.

'I did' she admitted, mentally encouraging herself to be convincing.

'Did?' he questioned.

'Now...oh I don't know...'

Marcus smirked. 'You've been thinking about our proposition?'

Alina froze for a moment, and then forced her mouth into a guilty smile and nodded shyly. It suprised her at how easy she was finding it to play the part, and inwardly smirked at Marcus' lack of suspicion.

'I knew you would.'

'How?'

'You're powerful.'

'I don't want to pick the losing side' she told him, her gaze set firmly on his.

'He pulled her closer and whispered into her ear 'then pick ours'

Alina nodded thoughtfully.

'I want...to think about it...I need to know more about it...before I...'

'Then just ask...we will show you that the Dark Lord's way is the right way'

'I need to think...'

'Just let me know when you're finished thinking.' he told her smoothly, a satisfied grin on his face.

The song finished and they broke apart. Marcus took Alina's hand and slowly brought it to his lips, his eyes connecting with Sirius' as he sent him a triumphant smirk.

* * *

'Tonight better be better than last night' Sirius grumbled, sitting on Alina's bed, watching her curl her hair into loose waves.

The anger he had felt for Marcus had projected into his mood the next day, making him incredibly grouchy and pesimistic. He had watched the way Marcus had leered at Alina as they danced, the way he kept tightening his grip on her, drawing her closer to him. It had taken every inch of self control he could muster to stop himself from running across the hall and beating the living daylights out of the kid. Yet for some strange reason, which although he didn't want to admit to himself, worried him, Alina was quite tollerent of him.

A buzzing from his pocket broke his train of thought. He quickly pulled out the mirror.

'All right Prongs?'

'I'm coming to you now, is someone going to be there to meet me?'

'Well Alina's finishing tarting herself up -'

'OI!' James grinned at Alina's indignation.

'so i'll come down to meet you'

'See you in a minute Padfoot!' his best friend grinned.

'I'm going to meet James' Sirius told Alina excitedly as he headed to the door.

'I swear to God there is something going on between you two!' Alina giggled, wiggling her eyebrows at him.

'Wha-? Me and Prongs...what?' Sirius spluttered.

'Well the thought of seeing James has seemed to lifted you out of that mood of yours...and you do spend a lot of time together...'

'Shut up' Sirius grumbled as he made his way down stairs ignoring Alina's laughter.

He entered the living room just as James appeared, slightly sooty, climbing out of it and immediately dived on his friend, bundling to him to the floor. They wrestled until Sirius had James pinned in an extremely unconfortable position.

'All right Prongs?'

'Oh get off Padfoot you git!' James grumbled and Sirius let him go, grinning as he pulled him up.

'Who are you?'

Both James and Sirius jumped as a panicked voice sounded from the doorway. Mrs Black was standing there, she was dressed in a nightie, her hair dishevelled and her eyes narrowed at them. His eyes however, did not linger on her appearence, but on the wand she held in her hand, which was being pointed directly at them.

'Mrs Blake, i'm sorry, this is James...James Potter..he's a friend of mine.'

'GET OUT!' she screached, causing both of them to jump and stare at each other in confusion.

'Expelliarmus!' she shouted, their wands shooting away from them before either could reach them. 'Do you think I want you here? I don't! I don't! I DON'T!'

James looked at Sirius in panic, but Sirius just shook his head. He could not believe that this was the woman he had previously met. She seemed mad. He eyes were darting around the room in a panic, he breathing was erratic as she let out a strangled cry every now and then. He noticed how she was swaying slightly on her feet.

She waved her wands frantically, causing angry red sparks to shoot out of it...but James and Sirius jumped back. They watched as she raised her wand, and they flinched, knowing that they were completely helpless. Suddenly Mrs Blake's wand shot out of her hands and went flying across the room, Mrs Blake began to scream, but Alina was immediately by her side, desperately fighting to restrain her mother.

Withing seconds Mrs Blake had given up the battle and had desolved into tears, sinking to the floor.

'How did she get that wand?' Alina shot at them suddenly.

'I er... er..' James stuttered, unable to look away from Mrs Blake's sobbing body.

'We don't know...we turned around and she was at the doorway pointing it at us' Sirius told her, not liking the empty look in her eyes, the look he knew she used when holding her emotions in.

She nodded grimly.

'Come on Mummy, let's get you to the sofa' she began to try and heave her mother's body up and Sirius made help her.

'Stop!' she ordered suddenly. Sirius felt himself involuntarily freeze.

'Sorry' she muttered as she unfreezed him ' she wouldn't like you touching her' she sent him a truly apologetic look.

Sirius felt his heart melt. He could finally see the reason behind Alina's lack of emotion towards her mother...this was clearly not an unusual thing. He shuddered as he realised that this was probably the 'normal' behaviour that she expected of her mother.

Finally, Alina was able to move her mother to the sofa, summoning a duvet cover to cover her and asking Smokey to check on her every now and then.

She glanced up at the boys 'Are you two ready to go?'

'What you're still coming?' James asked in suprise, glancing from her to her mother.

Alina nodded 'she'll be fine'

Her eyes connected with Sirius' and he nodded. Understanding that there was nothing that either of them could do to help her mother at this point.

'Sirius...'

Sirius' head jerked in suprise to Mrs Blake who had just muttered his name.

'You listen to me'

Mrs Blake turned her head to him, her eyes still unfocused, but finally clear of tears. The cold, hard set expression caused him to wince. In this state, she seemed even worse than when she was crying.

'okay...' he encouraged her softly.

'Keep away from Alina.'

He flinched 'Oh.'

'She's bad.'

Sirius took a step back from Mrs Blake in shock 'what?'

'She did this...you did this to me!' she cried turning to Alina 'this is all your fault!'

'Shhh calm down mummy' Alina tried to pacify her.

'I never wanted you' she spat 'you were a mistake..THE biggest mistake of my life'

James caught Sirius' eye. They were both in horrified shock, neither knowing what to do or say.

'Alli?' Sirius took Alina's hand and pulled her away from her mother's side, and suprisingly she followed his lead, as if in a daze.

'I wish you were dead' the words echoed through the room, and Sirius watched as a flash of pain registered in Alina's eyes, before returning to her blank stare.

'I know' she whispered.

'No...no I don't!' her mother cried, and looked directly into her daughters eyes, completely focused 'I wish you'd never been born'

**A/N: Well i know it not absolutely loads has happened in the last two chapters but they're kind of necessary to set up for the next few...i wanted a little bit of Alina's home problems to be shown to her friends...Please keep reviewing...as you can see when i get more reviews i update quicker :) two chapters in one go! So you know what you gotta do to get a quicker update ;)**

**Thanks**

**Hannah xxx**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**:

'When she was younger she suffered from depression' Alina told them as they sat on a table in the corner, watching Mrs Blake sleep fitfully. James couldn't take his eyes off of her, she had similar features to Alina and James could see quite plainly that she was a beautiful woman. Yet when he compared her with his own mother who was constantly smiling, welcoming all of his friends as if they were family, a bright twinkle always in her eyes, he found Mrs Blake quite ugly. The way pure hatred had radiated from her eyes when looking at her daughter, the venom seeping from every word that she had spoken, and the wild anger as she had broken down; completely evaporated any physical beauty she may have in James' eyes and he felt an overwhelming sense of protection over Alina.

'Apparently it was never too bad, a mood swing every now and then, but barely noticable' Alina looked up at them both with her startlingly blue eyes, which were completely void of any emotion 'that is, until I came along...' the hollow laugh, which matched the blank expression in Alina's eyes was haunting. James saw Sirius flinch from the corner of his eye. He knew that Alina was often difficult to understand, sometimes coming across as needlessly cold, but looking at Sirius, and the understanding look he had in his eye, James felt relieved that Sirius and Alina were together. If anyone could break through to Alina it would be Sirius and vice versa.

'So she got post-natal depression and unlike most cases, it never went away. Her mental health just went on a complete downward spiral, then she discovered the 'joys' of alcohol...and here we are!' Alina slapped her hands on her legs and shrugged.

The two boys shared a brief look of confusion.

'So are you ready then?' she grinned, suddenly switching to her normal self as she sprung up, hands on her hips waiting impatiently. 'Come on!' she urged, grabbing some floo powder and stepping into the fireplace 'The Potter Mansion' she spoke clearly and then she was gone.

'Erm...Padfoot?'

'Yeah' Sirius grunted.

'Good luck' James muttered.

'Thanks mate'

* * *

'ALLI!' two loud shrieks sounded simultaneosly as she arrived at James' house and before she had time to look around she was ambushed by Alice and Lily.

'Where the hell were you? We thought you'd got lost!' Alice yelled dramatically, as Alina struggled to escape from her friends' embraces.

'There was a bit of a hold up, but we got here on time right?'

'We got here early!' James' voice came from behind her 'Marauder's should always be fashionably late...looks like Moony and Wormtail have the right idea' realising that neither had arrived yet.

'James, I told you you cannot be late to your own party!' Lily told him in exhasperation.

'All right Frankiieeee!' Sirius yelled across the room to Frank Longbottom, who turned to him grinning, opening a crate of Firewhisky. 'Well someone's got their priorities straight!'

'All right Sirius?...catch!' Frank yelled throwing over a large bottle of firewhisky.

'Good man!' Sirius grinned, cracking it open and downing half of the contents 'What?' he asked, acknowledging the raised eyebrows of his friends 'We're wasting valuable drinking time here!' he grinned and swung an arm around Alina's shoulders.

'Ohhh tonight's going to get messy isn't it?' Alice asked, Lily and Alina exchanged amused looks at the hopeful note in Alice's voice.

'Well you better get started now...and I warn you, Alli drinks like a man!'

'I do not!' Alina cried indignantly, and noticing her friend's looks she shrugged 'All right I do'

'Don't worry Sirius...we know aallll about Alina when she's drunk' Alice giggled, glancing mischieviously over at raised an eyebrow, looking between the three girls for an explaination.

'You see when we snuck into Hogsmeade one -'

'Wait! You snuck into Hogsmeade? As in _you _Lily Evans?' James asked incredulously and was met with a sarcastic smile from Lily.

'You're really not interested in this story anyway' Alina began, starting to drag Sirius away.

'Oh on the contrary i'd love to here this story' he grinned mischeviously at Alice, signalling her to continue.

'Well this man decided to try and hit on her...' she paused and grinned as Sirius' smile faultered ' Alina wasn't interested so there's no need to get your knickers in a twist Sirius! She decided to mind him up, and invited him to play a drinking game...and this particular one involved stripping' Alice's eyes were twinkling in amusement and Lily was giggling, even Alina was smiling at the memory. 'Anyway, she completely drank him under the table, her ended up in his boxers before he was chucked out and I do believe we still have his shirt as a kind of trophey somewhere?'

They all laughed at the memory, and Sirius looked extremely impressed 'I bet that poor bloke didn't know what hit him!' he said proudly.

'James?' an unsure voice sounded at the doorway.

'It's all right mum come in!' James laughed 'she doesn't want to 'cramp my style'' he laughed.

Mrs Potter was a small woman, she had dark blonde hair and hazel eyes, her eyes were creased with laughter lines and a warm welcoming smile was spread over her face.

'Sirius!' she cried in delight, pulling him into a tight hug 'it's been strange you not being here to eat all of my cooking, there's been loads of leftovers!'

Sirius looked incredulously at James 'How could you leave leftovers!' he asked in disgust. As far as he was concerned, Mrs Potters cooking was way to good to be wasted. A man, who looked exactly like James entered the room behind Mrs Potter 'All right Sirius?' he asked grinning the familiar grin that they had all seen James wearing.

'Not too bad Mr Potter' Sirius grinned.

'And this must be the young lady who's been mad enough to invite you to stay with her?' he asked, smiling at Alina.

'Oh yeah this is Alina'

'Hello' Alina grinned at them, instantly liking their warmness.

'Just to warn you love, don't make the mistake of inviting him too often...that's what we did and now he's moved in!' Mr Potter told her jokingly, the fondness he felt for Sirius apparent.

At the sound of someone else arriving through the floo James' parents said their goodbyes and retreated upstairs.

'Your parents are lovely James' Alina told him with meaning. James paused for a moment and smiled at Alina.

'I know' he told her quietly.

* * *

An hour later and James' house was full of Hogwarts students, a mixture of Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors - not a Slytherin in sight. Feeling rather light headed, and finding that walking in a straight line was a challenge, Alina flopped onto the sofa, looking round to discover Remus sitting beside her. She let out a loud sigh and lent her head on his shoulder, looked up at him and giggled. Remus looked down at her, an amused smirk on his face and a raised eyebrow which quite clearly stated 'you're drunk'

'Oh shhhhh!' Alina told him with a frown.

'I didn't say anything!' he replied innocently.

Alina looked at him, her expression deadly serious 'I can read your mind Remus'

'Wha - Nooo you can' - i mean...you can't...can you?'

Alina's expression became extremely shocked 'I'm sorry...but you're thinking about doing _WHAT_ with Polly?!'

'NO! I mean I don't really...'

Alina grinned wickedly at him and lent in closer 'Got ya' she whispered.

For a moment Remus sat their with an expression of utter horror on his face.

'And you were totally thinking dirty thoughts' she grinned 'aguamenti' water immediately spurted from her wand into Remus' face and with a cackle of laughter Alina shot off as quickly as she could.

For a split second Remus froze, as he saw the mass of blonde hair head for the garden door, he jumped to his feet, wand out and a truly mischevious glint in his eyes.

* * *

Alina was laughing helplessly as she ran away from Remus. The trouble was, what with consuming so much alcohol and laughing so hard, it had become rather difficult to pay attention to where she was going.

'OUCH!' the indignant yell of a familiar voice caused her to suddenly pay attention as she crashed into them.

'Oh sorry Lil' she sniggered.

'What are you doi-'

Before Lily had a chance to ask Alina had already begun to speed off away from her 'If you see Remus...you never saw me 'kay?' she yelled over her shoulder.

Lily shook her head and turned to seek out Alice's whereabouts when she collided head first into Remus. His eyes were darting with excitement and his wand was drawn, he opened his mouth to say something but Lily cut him off 'That way' she told him, indicating the direction that Alina had just run. As she watched him running away she grinned to herself _i'm such a traitor._

Alina could hear the sound of someone running behind her, which made her laugh harder, therefore making it more difficult to concentrate on running. She turned around to see Remus pursuing her and grinned evilly. Pulling out her wand she paused for a second 'Solarium!'

Remus' suprised yell told her the spell had worked and she spun round the corner as quickly as possible, conveniently coming face to face with Sirius.

'HELP!' she yelled, throwing herself behind him and using him as a human shield.

'Wha-? Alli what's the matter?!'

'I'm being chased by an angry werewolf!' she told him.

The sudden appearance of Remus caused Sirius to jump in alarm. There was a moments silence and then...Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter and Alina giggled in delight. Remus was standing before them, a vengeful expression on his face, with bright orange hair.

'See, i've got Sirius on my side now so you can't get me!' Alina bragged sticking her tongue out at Remus.

'Ah well...about that..' Sirius began slyly, edging away from Alina so that there was a clear gap between her and Remus.

'You traitor!' she yelled in alarm, her eyes darting cautiously back to Remus. He raised his wand -

'Canarius Featharium!' she yelled quickly before Remus had a chance to speak. The result was immediate and Alina and Sirius exploded with laughter as Remus suddenly sprouted bright yellow feathers all over his body.

'Solarium!' he threw back, and Alina examined her hair, grinning as she realised it was now bright pink.

'You both look like you belong in a freak show!' Sirius laughed.

Sirius' laughter drastically quietened as Alina turned to him with an evil look of delight on her face, she glanced quickly at Remus who was mirroring her action.

'Oh come on!...You're not really going to...No!' Sirius spluttered, backing away from them.

'Gendereverios!'

'Clownarent Appeario!'

Alina and Remus yelled their spells simultaneously, a silence followed this as they both took in what had happened, the shock on their faces caused Sirius to seriously worry about what had happened to him.

'What have y-'

Their yells of laughter drowned out the rest of his words. It was extremely rare for Remus to laugh incontrollably. He was usually so uptight...so sensible. But at that moment he had tears streaking down his cheeks as he gasped for breath.

'MOONY!' Sirius yelled, finally catching his friends attention 'what have you done to me?!'

'Well it seems that Alina attempted to dress you as a clown...wig and shoes included ' he smiled pleasantly.

'And Remus appears to have attempted to dress you as a woman...'

'So now, you seem to be..'

Sirius paled slightly 'You've turned me into a cross dressing clown!?' the outrage in his voice caused both of them to explode in more peels of laughter. Eventually Sirius saw the funny side of it.

'Oh well' he said casually, his normal lop sided grin plastered on his face 'I look good in anything anyway' he shrugged.

Alina rolled her eyes at Remus over Sirius' arrogance and grinned 'Well shall we go in then?' she asked.

'Wha-? Not like this!' Remus spluttered in horror, becoming nervous at the identical grins Alina and Sirius exchanged.

'Come on Moony, time to go inside' Sirius grabbed one of his arms and began pulling.

'Yeah you need to live a little! Have another firewhiskey!' Alina added, pulling at the other arm.

Remus sighed, and finally accepted his fate...himself with orange hair and feathers, Alina with bright pink hair, and Sirius as a cross dressing clown...he shook his head, at least people expected it from Sirius.

As expected, when they re-entered James' house, the party exploded with incredulous looks and laughter.

'Well you know how I like to make an entrance' Sirius was grinning.

* * *

Alina blearily opened her eyes the next morning. She groaned, her whole body was aching and she assumed that was due to having slept on the floor all night. Everything was way to bright, her head was banging...but my God was she thirsty. Carefully she sat up, holding her head delicately and finally took in her surroundings. She began to laugh at the sight but immediately frowned as her head yelled in protest. The room was full of teenagers strewn out all over the floor, their were bottles and cans all over the place, and Alina smirked in amusement as her eyes found Sirius. He was lent against the wall, half a bottle of Firewhiskey still in his hands and still dressed in his 'feminine' clown outfit.

'Good morning' a husky voice made her jump.

'Oh hey' she smiled, taking in Lily's dishevalled appearance. Her lip stick was smudged and her hair was all over the place. 'Nice hair' she added.

Lily cocked an eyebrow at her 'You can talk' she smirked. Looking down Alina grinned, her hair was still bright pink. She groaned.

'Hangover?' Lily asked.

'God yes...but it was so worth it! You?'

'Not anymore...here' Lily handed a small bottle to her.

'Oh you star!' Alina gushed taking the hangover remedy off of Lily and downing it in one. 'Oh that's better!' she sighed at the instant relief.

'Morning you two!' an annoyingly bright voice sounded from the doorway.

'Oh go away!' Alina groaned.

'Oh well that's nice!' Alice began.

'How can you always be so chirpy!' Lily moaned at her 'you do realise she hasn't had a hangover potion?!' she told Alina, who merely groaned in reply.

'Well some of us are naturally bright!' Alice laughed 'but on a serious note, do you know why Polly was a no show last night?'

Both girls frowned, she was right, Polly hadn't turned up...Alina shrugged 'she said she was coming...we'll have to ask Remus...'

* * *

By early afternoon most people had apparated home, most worse for wear. After a quick cleaning charm cast by Mrs Potter the house was once again spotless.

'I'll have to teach that one to my House Elf!' Alina told her in amazement ' I taught him one a few months ago...but he wasn't too keen' she quickly glanced at Sirius, and they grinned, both thinking back to their disasterous potions detention.

'Oh you have a House Elf?' Mrs Potter asked in suprise.

'Yeah, I know that half blood famililies don't normally have them, but Smokey came to us through my mother...'

'Oh you're mother's a witch?'

'Yeah, Annabelle -?'

'Oh I went to school with Annabelle! How is she? We used to share a dorm!' Mrs Potter began in delight 'We used to be quite close...it's a shame we lost contact' she frowned slightly.

'Oh erm..yeah she's all right...' Alina trailed off.

'We used to be really good friends' Mrs Potter continued 'The last thing I heard was that she had gotten married...does she still have contact with any of her other school friends?'

'Oh er - well - she kind of lost touch with most of her friends...she was...erm'

Out of the corner of her eye she saw James shaking his head furiously, telling his mother to stop.

'Oh - erm - yes...well would anyone like another cup of tea?' Mrs Potter babbled, realising she had stepped into a touchy subject.

'Yes please Mrs Potter' Alina smiled warmly, she was overwhelmingly jealous of James for having such perfect parents. She looked over at him and grinned, and he flashed an apologetic smile back. She could see the questioning looks that Lily and Alice were giving her.

_What the hell_ she thought.

'My mother wasn't very well...' she begun, Mrs Potter turned back round to listen 'she's well...manically depressed...and erm... she drinks alot...'

She avoided the mixture of shocked and sympathetic looks she was getting 'I'm sorry she lost contact with you...but all I know is the happiest she ever was was when she was at school' she shrugged and smiled at Mrs Potter.

'Oh dear...i'm so sorry...' she began.

'No - no...i'm not looking for sympathy, it's just the way it is...i just didn't want you to think that she lost contact with everyone because of something you did or anything' she mumbled.

'You look like your mother' Mr Potter told her with a slight smile.

'Thank you' Alina replied warmly.

There was a slight pause, Mr and Mrs Potter were studying her, wondering how difficult her home life was, her friends were just shocked at her sudden openness to say anything.

'Oh erm Remus!' Alice broke the silence 'how comes Polly didn't come last night?'

'Oh...I don't know! I was going to ask you two the same...I spoke to her just before I left and she said she was coming...but when I got here I couldn't see her...I thought she must have told you she wasn't going to make it or something...' he trailed of frowning.

'Ill write to her after lunch' Lily stated.

'So Lily...now we've got you pinned down...we really must get to know you and discover why our son hasn't stopped talking about you for the last seven years...' Mr Potter grinned mischeviously, flashing Sirius a wink.

James looked down, his face growing a strange shade of pink.

'Well i'd love to know what he's been saying...' Lil started cheekily, laughing at James' groan.

'considering she's been turning him down for six of those years' Alice added.

'Oh Mrs Potter, why don't you get out those _adoreable_ baby pictures of James...' Sirius joined in.

'Padfoot...' James growled.

'Yes Prongs?' Sirius replied innocently.

'Shut up'

'Actually James, I think we would all love to see those photos' Lily grinned.

James just threw his head down on the table and they all laughed.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21:**

'I'll see you tonight!' Polly grinned at Remus as his face faded from the fire. She glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. She needed to start getting ready.

'MUM!?' she yelled.

'WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SHOUTING DOWN THE STAIRS!' was her reply. Polly laughed at the way her mother never seemed to have a problem with shouting up the stairs, she waited for a moment and as always she heard the sound of her mother making her way upstairs to her bedroom.

The door opened and a middle age woman who was the spitting image of her daughter stood in the doorway, eyebrows raised and her hands on her hips.

Polly smiled apologetically and returned her gaze to the pile of dresses she had pulled out of her wardrobe...

'Help?!'

Her mother laughed. Polly loved that laugh, it was so deep, almost musical, and incredibly infectious. She loved how her mother could tell the most average story, but the way she laughed evolved it into a comic classic, and everyone would laugh with her.

'Looks like we have alot of work to do...all of this fussing...it wouldn't have anything to do with that boy you've been sneakily talking to through the floo ever since you came home from school would it?'

_Damn _Polly thought_ she's good._

Polly just laughed in response and felt herself blush.

'I thought so' her mother smiled 'This one!' she held up a charcoal grey strapless dress, the bodice was decoarted with silver and it flowed down resting half way up her thigh.

'Really?' Polly asked nervously.

'Really' her mother smiled, and Polly knew that when it came to matters such as these, her mother was never wrong.

* * *

'Well? What do you think?' Polly asked, doing a dramatic twirl for her parents.

'You look beautiful, doesn't she Joe?' he mother smiled.

'Of course she does' her father grinned 'but what I want to know, is who is this boy you're trying to impress?' he asked eyebrows raised.

Polly blushed 'Remus Lupin' she smiled.

'And what is Remus Lupin like?' he asked, putting on a fake strict look.

'He's really clever, the top of the year...he was a prefect last year and he's really nice' Polly smiled, avoiding eye contact with her parents.

'And when are we going to meet him?' her mother's eyes danced.

'Well I was kind of thinking maybe later on this week?'

'That would be perfect' her mother grinned exchanging a look of delight with her husband.

A loud alarm suddenly sounded in the house and Polly looked at her father and Mother in suprise. They had both dramatically paled, jumped up and pulled their wands out.

'W-what's going on?' Polly stuttered.

The sound of the back door smashing in caused Polly to jump in fear.

'They're here!' her mother gasped, speaking in a horrified whisper. The sight of her mothers eyes wide with terror sent chills up Polly's spine.

'Polly get your wand out...run upstairs and hide. .Come out...okay? Do you hear me?' her father grabbed her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. 'Whatever happens stay hidden!'

'What? I don't under-'

'We love you darling...so so much...now run..please?' her mother begged, tears in her eyes.

Polly nodded, fear consuming her entire body as she ran upstairs, her breathing became frantic until she felt herself beginning to hyperventilate. She ran into her mum and dad's bedroom and threw herself under the bed. She lay silent, her hand pressed over her mouth trying to silence her heavy breathing. She felt the tears pouring down her cheeks before she even realised that she was crying.

The sound of heavy footsteps could be heard from downstairs.

'Crucio'

Polly had to bite her tongue to stop herself from screaming along with her mother.

She covered her ears, but nothing could drown out the sound of her mother's screams. Her fathers yells. The crashing of furniture being cruel laughter. And then silence.

The silence seemed to be louder that the screaming, it rung in her ears, echoing inside her mind. The silence was painful, it was deadly...and she knew, without having to go downstairs an investigate, that her mother and father were dead.

She couldn't breathe. Her heart was thumping so hard that it hurt. It beat like a drum in her ears - the sound of life. Something that had been ripped away from her parents. Had they expected this? They must have, yet for that moment, Polly was struggling to accept the reality of the situation. She was huddled under her parents' bed. The bed they had slept in since she could remember. And yet they were downstairs dead. They were never going to sleep in that bed again. And then there was a creak.

The sob in Polly's throat caught. She heard it again, the unmistakable sound of someone climbing up her stairs. For a moment her heart leapt in false hope, she allowed herself to believe that it was her father, coming to tell her that everything was okay. But the feeling of utter dispair which had clamped its hold on her told her otherwise.

She held her breathe as the door opened, she briefly pictured her friends laughing at James' party, her parent's eager to meet her boyfriend. Remus...

And then she saw the feet. The bottom of the robes. She saw them bend down to look beneath the bed. And she saw his face.

'STUPIFY!' she yelled, and saw him collapse before her. She sprung out from beneath the bed and turned to the door. She could hear the footsteps running up the stairs. There was more than one of them. She braced herself.

'Impedimenta!'

She saw the Death Eater move in slow motion and prepared herself for his attack.

'CRUCIO!'

'Protego' she thought of her mother, her cold empty body downstairs and anger consumed her 'CRUCIO!' she yelled back and smirked as the death eater before her fell to the floor, writhing and screaming in pain.

She could hear the next one approaching the top of the stairs. If she was going down...then someone was coming with her. The thought sickened her, yet she didn't care...she wasn't just fighting for her own life, she was fighting for the life of her parent's which they had already taken.

'EXPELLIARMUS!' she yelled as the second death eater appeared at the doorway 'YOU KILLED MY PARENTS!' she screeched, tears running down her cheeks 'Removius' she added, and watched as the death eaters were unmasked. She looked into the dark eyes of the man before her.

'AVADA KEDAVRA!' she screamed, her eyes wild with rage. There was a flash of green light and the death eater fell to the floor.

A cold laugh sounded from the corner, she spun round to find herself facing the wand of the other death eater. She briefly acknowledged the pale blonde of his hair, the smirk on his face and the coldness of his eyes. And then there was another flash of green light.

**A/N: So...I know it's only short. But I feel like Polly deserved to have this chapter to herself! Comments? And you can let me know if you absolutely hate me for this...I hate myself a little bit...Poor Polly...and Remus!**

**Thanks**

**Hannah x**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22:**

_Polly!_

_Where the hell were you last night? You missed out on such a good party and Remus has been stroppy all morning_

_because he didn't see you! James and Sirius keep teasing him but I think it's sweet...anyway is everything okay?_

_It's not like you to just not turn up...let me know okay?_

_Lily._

* * *

'I guess we should head back to mine soon...' Alina sighed, groaning at the thought of it.

'Yeah we should, your dad's gonna kill me if he finds out we were gone all night and he's not going to believe we've gone out for a 'walk' much longer than this...'

Alina grinned 'he might' she said hopefully.

'Moony cheer up!' James moaned, grabbing Remus' cheeks and trying to stretch them into a smile.

'Get off' he growled, pushing James roughly away.

James and Sirius exchanged amused looks.

'Well someones got their knickers in a twist...'

'Oh well Padfoot, it's only because he's love sick..'

'Well you can't really say anything then mate, because you've pined over Evans for the last 6 years!'

'Shut up' James frowned.

'Seriously Remus...what is the matter?' Alice asked, bemused at Remus' sudden dark mood.

'Yeah, you've got another few days until 'your time of the month' so that can't be bothering you yet...' Sirius added.

'I've just got a funny feeling about Polly...'

'Me too' Lily added quitely. They all turned to look at her.

'What?' she demanded 'Since when has Polly been late to anything, let alone miss an entire party and not bothering to let us know where she is...'

Alina frowned. Lily was right. Polly was almost freakishly obsessed about time keeping.

'And her mum wouldn't let her miss a party if the world was coming to an end ' she added, an uncomfortable knot began forming in her stomach.

'I spoke to her just before the party and she was really excited for it...' Remus' voice was quiet, yet it was clearly strained. The worry in it made them all feel uncomfortable.

Alice laughed nervously 'Oh come on, we're just being paranoid...' her voice trailed off at Remus' raised eyebrows.

They were sitting out in James' garden, under a large oak tree. The sun was shining warmly down on them, yet it suddenly felt cold, as if their was a chill in the warm breeze.

'I - er - I think I'll try and floo her?'

'Yeah - I owled her, but their was no reply -'

'Maybe she's sleeping' Peter suggested stupidly.

'Oh yeaah...because everyone sleeps till four in the afternoon' James rolled his eyes, causing Peter to blush profusely.

'I'll see you in a minute' Remus mumbled, heading back towards the house.

* * *

He decided to start with the fire in Polly's bedroom to be on the safe side. He didn't want to pop up in the living room only to scare the life out of Polly's parents. He stuck his head into the fireplace, and with a brief prayer that his paranoia was exactly that - paranoia, he called out the address clearly.

'POLLY?' he yelled, as he stared out into her empty bedroom. He saw the pile of dresses layed out on her bed. The open pots and bottles of makeup strewn out on the dressing table. The towel that had obviously been used, dropped on the floor, and he began to panic.

'POLLY?! ANYONE?' he was yelling so loud it hurt his throat, but the house was silent. Earily silent. Even when he had hushed conversations with her on most evenings the sounds of movement downstairs could be heard.

He yanked his head from the fire and looked round frantically, coming face to face with Mr Potter.

'Remus? What's wrong?' he immediately asked, registering the boys panic and pale white face.

'It - er - I think somethings wrong at Polly's...can you - I mean it might be nothing...but i'm just going to check -'

'Sarah?' Mr Potter called and his wife immediately appeared in the doorway, she took one look at Remus' expression and frowned.

'What's happened?'

'Remus thinks their might be something wrong at his girlfriend's house...i'm going to go with him to check it out -' he registered his wifes worry and smiled at her 'I'm sure it's all right love, we just need to make sure, especially at times like these...go and tell James what we're doing and we'll be back soon.' he kissed his wife quickly on the cheek and she flashed him a supportive smile.

'Be careful' she told them, looking specifically at Remus.

'You can apparate, right son?' Remus nodded, his throat felt bone dry and he couldn't find a way to form any words. 'Good. On three, One..Two...Three'

The familiar claustraphobic feeling envoloped him, and he felt as if his entire body was being sucked through a straw. He arrived in a slight daze, wobbling on a spot for a moment and struggling to find his bearings.

'Oh God'

Mr Potter's words were barely audible, but the complete horror in them terrified Remus. He spun round, scared of what he was to find, and he saw it. The dark mark...hovering ominously above Polly's house.

He didn't stop to think, he heard Mr Potter's warning yells but he ignored them. All he knew was that there was someone dead in that house and that someone could be Polly.

_No, no,no,no,no_

He repeated the words desperately in his mind, pleading with some unknown force to have mercy, for Polly to not be inside the house.

'Allohamora!'

The front door wouldn't open. It was magically sealed and he didn't have time to try and find another charm. He ran around the side of the house, looking for another way in. His heart constricted painfully as the sight of the back door reached his eyes. It was hanging off of it's hinges, the windows were smashed and the wood was splintered. He didn't pause to think, he ran through the doors, wand held out.

'POLLY?' he yelled.

Destruction was what met his eyes. Pure and utter destruction. All the furniture was in pieces, plates were smashed on the floor and all the pictures were hanging off of the wall at strange angles, and amongst all of the chaos, on the floor with all of the ruined belongings, was the body of a woman, a woman with hair so dark that it was almost black.

'Polly' Remus choked, he froze for a moment in disbelief. 'No...please'

He ran over to her and lifted her onto his lap. He looked into her face in shock. No. Not Polly. A woman who looked like Polly in features, yet much older. Polly's Mother.

For a moment relief crushed Remus' body, a relief which was short lived. He shook his head in horror, how could he be relieved? This woman, this woman who Polly had told him about so often, who Polly had loved so dearly, was lying dead in his lap.

This was wrong. This shouldn't be happening. He gently placed the woman down onto the floor and carried on moving through the house. As he went into the living room, he bowed his head in horror. The lifeless body of a man lay before him.

Biting back a sob, Remus began to move more frantically. Desperate to find her. To find her alive. To find her safe. Yet he held little hope. The feeling of utter terror which was spreading through his veins was telling him otherwise.

'Remus?!' Mr Potter's voice sounded at the back door 'I've messaged Dumbledo - Oh My.' he had seen the body.

'Her - her father's in the living room' Remus managed to push the words out as he ran up the staircase. He reached the top, his throat constricted at the sight of a death eater lying in the doorway of the room before him. He slowly approached, holding his wand out in caution. But he knew it was pointless, the pale face and the glassy eyed expression told him that the death eater was dead.

_But if he's dead...then someone must have killed him _

He tried to pull back the little voice of hope that was insisting things were going to be okay.

_It must have been her, it wasn't her parent's - she must have stopped him._

He moved silently past the death eater, kicking him roughly to the side and then froze. Laying in the dress she was to wear to the party. Her wand still in her hand. Even in death she looked beautiful. But so cold. So so cold. Everything seemed hazy. He ran to her. He pulled her into his arms. He shook and he shook, but she was limp. Limp, and so cold. He pressed his lips to hers, hoping for a response, hoping to see the pink blush that usually formed on her cheeks. Nothing. Just coldness.

He briefly registered screaming, A loud tortured noise of someone's throat practically ripping flooded through the room.

'Remus! REMUS! REMUS!'

He blinked. He realised someone was shaking him. How could they? Did they not realise that the world had ended? Time had stopped? His heart had broken?

'Calm down...REMUS! Look at me!'

It was only when he felt his head being roughly jerked by Mr Potter that he realised those inhuman screams had been coming from him.

'She -she-'

'I know...I am so so sorry'

'No, no, no,no...' he kept repeating the words, rocking her in his arms. Repeating them in the way he had pleaded them earlier.

This could not be real.

This was just so wrong..

She was lifeless.

She was gone.

And so cold.

So so cold.

**A/N: So like with the chapter before I decided to keep this one just for Remus. I hope you like it...and three chapters in a week! Go me! I'd really really really appreciate your reviews as it fires me up to write more...**

**Thank you all for your reviews so far and i'm glad you like the story!**

**Hannah xxx**


	23. Chapter 23

'Remus?'

Alina's voice seemed tiny as it echoed through the silence in the Kitchen.

Everyone else was staring at Remus as he leant heavily into Mr. Potters Shoulder. His face was deathly pale, his eyes were dark and overwrought with what looked like physical pain, there were silent tears streaking down his cheeks and his face was twisted into a tortured expression. James and Sirius immediately ran to their friend, grabbing an arm each and helping him to a chair. Remus relied on their support, leaning his weight on them and his feet shuffled in the direction he was lead as if they were made out of bricks.

A small sob broke Alina and Lily's focus from Remus and they both turned to Alice. Her lip was trembling and tears were running freely down her usually enthusiastic face. Her eyes were wide with fear and were burning into Remus' disheveled frame.

'Where's Polly?'

Her words came out as barely a whisper but Remus' reaction was as if he had been shot. His entire body jolted at the question and his knees buckled beneath him, he let out an anguished cry, which tore through Alina's body, and he sunk to his knees, shaking off Sirius and James' strong hold.

'Dad?' James turned to his father who was pacing the kitchen, his head in his hands. Mr. Potter froze and looked into his son's face which mirrored his own so similarly.

'Death Eaters attacked Polly's family.' he stated, staring steadily into his sons eyes.

_They're dead_

Alina heard Mr. Potter's voice echo in her mind. She blinked, his mouth had not moved, yet looking at his expression she could tell he was inwardly struggling with how to say something.

'NO!' she screamed, sending her chair flying as she jumped up 'SHE'S NOT- SHE CAN'T BE?...NO! NO!'

Mr. Potter had frozen, staring at Alina in confusion 'I didn't -'

'NO! SHE'S CAN'T - SHE WOULDN'T!'

She felt a strong pair of arms grab her forcefully and she immediately struggled against them.

'ALLI!' It was Sirius. She relaxed slightly, and finally took in everyone's expressions. They were all looking at her in fear, even Remus was looking at her, but there was a different expression in his eyes, even amongst the pain - he knew she knew.

'Really?' she asked, her voice weak with acceptance. Remus nodded and sunk even further to the floor.

'Polly's dead' she whispered, the words sounding foreign on her tongue..

For a second there was silence, and as if on gut reaction, beating James or anyone else, Alina ran to Lily as her friend began to fall to the floor, and pulled her into her arms. She held her tightly, supporting her shaking form. Lily was screaming, her voice hysterical, shouting and crying out words and sentences which barely interlocked. Alina quickly looked around for Alice, and felt relieved to see her sunken into Franks strong embrace. Her eyes briefly locked with James', he looked between Lily and Remus, clearly torn.

'Go' she told him 'he needs you. I've got her James' James nodded, and immediately went to join Sirius comforting his best friend.

_Where's Peter?_

The thought struck her out of nowhere and a sudden prickle of uneasiness followed it, but she threw the thought from her mind and tightened her grasp on Lily. Every few seconds Alina felt her breath increasing, she could feel it threatening to hyperventilate, her mind was screaming in horror, she felt as if something was clawing at her insides as she gulped for air. It was the sound of Lily's sobs, the way she was clinging to her as if she were a small child that reminded Alina. It reminded her to take deep breaths, to start erasing the thoughts, pushing them out, preventing herself from thinking of them. She refused the tears and instead of allowing herself to grow numb she concentrated on one emotion. The emotion that was burning through her veins like an open flame, the flame that grew increasingly hot every time she thought of Polly, every time that she looked at her distraught friends. She concentrated on the anger. The anger towards those who did this. The anger that was telling her she was going to find out who did this. And she knew how, Dumbledore had already shown her a path, and she was going to make sure that whatever information she got from the Slytherins, the identity of Polly's killer would be part of it. And when she find out who it was, she was going to find him, and she was going to kill him.

Her mouth set in a grim line of determination. Her fists slightly clenched. And her eyes were bone dry.

****

Sirius watched her as she held Lily up right. Her mouth was pressed in a tight line, her teeth were clenched and her face was a sickly pale. Yet her eyes had not leaked a single tear, they had darkened into an ominous black, and were strangely glazed over into a look of blankness. It made him flinch as he watched her. He didn't want to think how much effort it was taking for her to keep up that exterior. Why did she always have to be in control? Why couldn't she just grieve normally? He shook his head, it made him both sad and a little scared. It wasn't healthy to keep everything in...it was the slight twitch in her left eye, which caused the fear to escalate. It was going to eat her away, and unless she opened up, there was nothing he could do about it.

Remus had grown silent. The tears had stopped and yet this brought no relief to Sirius or James. His face looked haunted. His eyes alone highlighted the depth of his agony. As time went on the kitchen gradually fell into a deadly silence, only to be broken by a quiet sob or gasp for breath. Mrs. Potter had owled everyone's parents informing that they would be spending the night here, and had dismally attempted to get them all to eat something. Eventually Lily and Alice cried themselves to sleep, their sleep was fitful, causing them to toss and turn in Frank and Alina's arms. Every now and them Lily awoke to fresh tears and Alina cooed to her softly until she drifted off again.

'It's getting late - perhaps we should take the girls to their beds ?'

Mrs. Potter may have not even spoken, because nobody responded. It was as if everyone had lost the ability to form words. The image of Polly's face seemed to be running through their minds over and over.

'I could erm- bring some sleeping stuff in here? How would that be?' she exchanged a pained look with Mr. Potter.

'Thank you' Alina spoke in a monotonous voice that caused Sirius to frown.

'Alli, how you doing?' he asked softly across the room.

'I'm fine' she replied in a clipped tone.

'No. How are you really?' he pressed.

'Like I said...I'm fine' her voice matched her expression perfectly, emotionless.

'Well if you're so fine then maybe you could help soothe those who aren't?' he suggested coldly.

For a moment Alina paused in confusion, and then realisation dawned on her.

'You want me to control their emotions?' she whispered, finding it difficult to form the words.

'You've done it before - it might help'

Alina had to freeze for a moment to compress the anger that threatened to escape 'No.' she told him and turned away.

'What? Why?' James asked.

Alina spun round and for a brief moment, which sprung hope to Sirius' chest, her eyes flashed with emotion 'because Polly is dead. I am NOT erasing that fact. I am NOT taking away the right to grieve. Polly deserves to be grieved for, those feelings, they should not - no they CANNOT be manipulated. I will not strip them from the right to hurt for someone who they love. I will not'

'She's right' Remus' croaky voice cut James and Sirius off from whatever response they were going to give.

It was the early hours of the morning before the room completely quitened and the boys joined Alice and Lily in sleep. There were only two people left awake. Alina refused to close her eyes. She would not accept the nightmare she knew that would come. With every fiber of strength she could muster she refused to break down in tears.

Remus lay motionless. His mind felt strangely detached from his body and his eyes were unfocused. Her voice. Her laugh. Her smile. Everything about her was playing through his mind as if it were a film on repeat. He both despised and loved the memories that tortured him. Her face appeared before him and he reached out to her.

'I'm so sorry' he told her with a broken sob as his fingers met thin air.

***

The next few days were empty. They had left Remus staying at the Potter's with James and Lily and after much argument returned back to Alina's home. Sirius felt completely at loss. How do you console someone who seems so void of emotion? Who walks around aimlessly, yet all the while looking like they are deep in thought. He realised he couldn't, so he settled for watching her steadily. Patiently waiting for the moment she broke. The moment her emotions took over.

'Sirius?'

'Hmph?' Sirius grumbled, squinting towards his clock. 3am. He groaned 'Alli?' he asked.

She padded into his room in response 'Hey' she muttered scrambling into bed with him.

'Hey' he replied, suddenly very awake and very aware of Alina's tiny pajama set 'You okay?'

'I can't believe we're going back tomorrow' she said thoughtfully, resting her head on his shoulder.

'It's going to be hard for you without P-'

'Did we have any homework?'

He raised his eyebrows. Every time he had even tried to mention Polly's name Alina immediately changed the subject and it was starting to frustrate him. She couldn't live in a dream world forever, at some point she was going to have to allow herself to grieve. And yet, she had kept her mother's illness a secret for so long. How long would it be before she would let her feelings over Polly's death out?

'No Alli we didn't' he sighed, drawing her closer to him. She responded by crashing her lips to his. It was so sudden, so passionate that for a moment Sirius froze in surprise. That moment, however, was very short lived. Within a split second he was responded enthusiastically, rolling over so that he was lying above her, their lips crashing together with intense passion.

She moaned quietly into his mouth and the sound caused a wave of electricity to shoot through him. He had never felt like this before, of course he had been with other girls, but this was different. This need. This pure animalistic desire was completely new to him, this was Alina. This girl was so completely different from the others and he felt completely and overwhelmingly alive. More alive than he had ever felt.

'Sirius -' she mumbled, her voice muffled by his kisses.

They were completely caught up in each other. Their minds were completely blank. They just felt. For just that moment nothing else mattered, every thing that had happened in the last few days was erased. Everything was okay.

'Get off of my daughter.'

The cold voice caused them both to freeze in shock. They hadn't even heard the door open. Sirius jumped straight off of her, his eyes widened in shock.

_Oh God. He's gonna kill me _he thought and grimaced. His eyes flickered to Alina, her expression was unreadable. The burning light that had been flickering in her eyes just a few seconds ago had extinguished and they had returned to the dull, lifeless expression they had been wearing since Polly's death.

He yelled in surprise as he watched Mr. Blake grab his daughter roughly by the hair and drag her off of the bed, a resounding smack immediately followed as he slapped his daughter round the face.

'You little _slut' _he spat in Alina's face. Alina didn't make a sound.

Sirius jumped up in anger, his hand reaching for his wand. No one would harm Alina in front of him.

CRASH.

The sound caused his head to shoot up in alarm. At first, his eyes fell on Alina, who was standing calmly alone in the middle of the room. The moonlight that seeped through his curtains reflected on her hair giving a ghostly vibe to her. He then followed her serene gaze to find her father, who had been thrown across the large room, straight into the wardrobe door. He lay back on the splintered wood, groaning in pain.

'Alli-' he began, but she interrupted him, her eyes still burning into her fathers.'

'Touch me again and I will kill you' she told him, venom oozing from her voice and then without another word she left the room.

***

They had barely spoken the next morning, as they got everything together and packed their trunks. Alina's parents hadn't even woken up to see their daughter off, and looking at her, he wondered briefly whether that bothered her.

They had met everyone on platform nine and three quarters as always, and yet the mood was so utterly different from their normal greetings that even students around them began to notice their stony silence. Remus looked terrible. There were no words to describe it. His hair was scruffy, he looked thinner, and he was pale with deep purple bags underlining his dark eyes. On top of that he was slightly sweating, every now and then he flinched in pain. It was the full moon tonight. Sirius inwardly flinched at the thought as he embarked on a silent conversation with James as they stared grimly at each other.

Lily's face mirrored Remus' paleness, yet it was somewhat exaggerated by the contrast of her flaming hair. Her forehead was creased into a slight frown, as if she were constantly experiencing a severe headache. Alice stayed huddled into Franks shoulder. Every now and then her lip quivered and her eyes welled up, before she quickly swallowed the tears.

Needless to say, the journey on the Hogwarts Express was awful. They sat in their compartment silently, not even responding to the smiles of their fellow students who walked past them.

'I'll be back a bit later' Alina stated finally.

'Where you going?' Lily asked in concern, her voice croaky with the lack of speaking.

'Just - just got to see a Professor quickly' she replied, not quite meeting Lily's gaze. Without another word she turned and rushed out of the compartment, quickly moving down the corridor.

Sirius stared after her for a few seconds, his brow frowned into a worried expression. Something wasn't right. He sighed, if she was gone to long he'd go and find her then.

***

She leant against the corridor window slightly, taking deep meditative breaths.

_Stay calm, stay calm. You CAN do this _she told herself silently.

When she was certain the overwhelming anger had subsided she took one last deep breath and knocked on the door of the compartment. The door swung open, and she was met by the familiar smirk, there was no going back.

'Alina! Why don't you come in' Marcus drawled, opening the door wide so that she could squeeze past him. She flinched slightly at the contact of his body, as she brushed past.

'Marcus' she greeted quietly as she strode confidently into the compartment filled with Slytherins.

_Death Eaters_ her mind hissed.

'And to what do we owe this pleasure' Snape cocked an eyebrow at her, his face full of distrust.

'He wasn't told you?' Alina asked casually, throwing herself down into a seat ' I want to be powerful.' she stated, steadily matching Snape's gaze.

'Why the sudden change of heart?' Bellatrix spat, her eyes narrowing at Alina's arrogant air.

Alina's stomach convoluted as the words formed in her mind 'I don't want to end up like Polly' she told them casually.

With such ease that it shocked her, she pushed her mind out forcefully, carefully skipping Snape whom she knew would immediately sense what she was doing.

_A flicker of anger as a face appeared in the back of Bellatrix's mind. He was dead. _Alina left her mind, she was not giving her what she wanted.

_A man in a cloak standing before them, his voice silky and cold. It scared them. _Frustration jolted through Alina. She wanted to see his face!

_Blonde hair. His face twisted into a smirk. Power oozed off of him. He was young, not much older than them. His eyes were a cold steel grey._ She had to control herself to prevent a grin from spreading across her face. _Got you s_he thought in triumph. All she needed to do was to find out who he was, and how she was going to get near him.

'I would have thought you would feel hatred rather than admiration?' Avery questioned in suspicion.

'I do not feel admiration' she growled, glaring at him ' Polly was my friend, and just because I don't want to end up like her doesn't mean I don't care. I care about my friends.' she noticed their raised eyebrows.

'What?' she challenged.

'If you care about your mudblood best friend, and my blood traitor brother then why should we let you sit here with us? Why would we want you?'

For a moment Alina was struck by the boy's resemblance to Sirius. She was surprised she had never really seen him before, never taken notice of the fact he was Sirius' brother.

'Because _he _wants me. I was under the impression that he was the one who makes decisions, not you' she replied coldly and turned away from him. She didn't want to look in his eyes, the eyes that reflected Sirius', extracting the warmth and mischief, they caused her guts to wrench with guilt.

'And anyway, I can be friends with whom I choose. But that doesn't mean I can't look out for myself. Dumbledore doesn't seem to appreciate my abilities' she told them, trying to emphasize resentment for her headmaster in her tone.

They all laughed, and she felt relieved.

'Well at least you finally see what a crackpot old fool he is' Bellatrix laughed coldly 'the Dark Lord's way is the right road to follow. Even if you are a halfblood' she added distastefully.

Alina merely nodded at her.

They fell into a casual conversation. The whole time Alina had to keep a strong grasp on her emotions, the angry monster that seemed to be consuming her body was rearing to attack them. To destroy them all before they killed like the other Death Eaters. But that wasn't her mission. So she stayed quiet and listened intently, all the while rooting through their minds for key information.

She saw them all gazing in admiration as Bellatrix showed them the mark burnt deep into her wrist. She felt their awe.

_She saw Bellatrix at home, a group of cloaked figures with her, they were giving her orders._

_She watched as Snape stood with Bellatrix, pointing their wands at two muggles 'Crucio' they said in unison._

'Alina?'

Regulus' voice broke her concentration and their thoughts were gone.

'Sorry what did you say?'

'We said that we will send an owl to let the Dark Lord know that you have come to your senses' he told her, a hint of boyish excitement filled his voice.

'Thank you' she told him coolly. She felt like crying, he was too young for this, his mind was filled with childlike ideology, he had followed the path of his family and he was going to get in too far.

She concentrated briefly on his mind and it confirmed her fears. There was an essence of innocence, almost a lack of full understanding as to what he would have to do when they marked him. Instead of frowning, she smiled.

'I hope it pleases him' she said as earnestly as she could. Inwardly feeling sickened by her own words 'We're going to be arriving soon…I should go back to my compartment…' she began.

'We shall contact you when we are going to all meet'

'All right then…and these meetings…what do they consist of?'

They all smirked at each other. The looks sent a chill up her spine and she felt extremely uncomfortable for the first time since she had entered the compartment.

'We receive news of the progress of the Dark Lord, and those of us who have been marked receive instructions-'

'Wait – those of you who have been marked? Haven't you all?' Alina asked in confusion.

'No – only myself, Bellatrix and Snape…but the others should be joining up soon' Avery told her arrogantly.

'Why haven't you all been marked already?'

'The Dark Lord immediately saw both or loyalty and value as his followers. Others need to prove themselves' Bellatrix smirked 'but my dear cousin seems to be heading in the right direction' she added, looking pointedly at Regulus.

'Perhaps you'll be alongside him when you get marked' Avery suggested coldly.

'Perhaps I shall' she replied with equal reserve.

She looked at them thoughtfully. Dumbledore was right, this was going to be incredibly helpful in the cause for fighting against Voldemort.

She did not see Peter Pettigrew looking through the window of the compartment in shock. She didn't see him hurry away as she rose. And instead she left the Slytherins feeling extremely smug. Revenge was well on its way.

**A/N Well what do you think? Alina's successfully spying...for now anyway! Thank you so much for reviewing, everytime I see a new one I have to start writing again it really keeps me going! And thank you padfootspenpal! A review for every chapter you are AMAZING! Thank youuu! I hope you're enjoying the story, i'm enjoying writing it! Please keep the reviews coming I absolutely love you for them! And if you're not a big reviewer -- just a quick good or bad/one worded answer kind of thing would be the highlight of my day :)**

**Sorry for blabbing - I'm gonna get back to revising now (as I should have been the whole time I wrote this chapter :S oops! So if I fail my exams it's all your fault :D )**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: FINALLLYYY! EXAMS ARE OVER!!! (FOR NOW!) Which means I can start writing properlly again!!! Well here it is...sorry it took so long...**

'I Swear Sirius she was!' Peter squeeled as he backed away from his friend. Sirius was approaching him, a look of sheer anger plastered onto his face 'she was sitting next to your cousin!'

It seemed that those were not the cleverest of words. Sirius let out a low growl and charged towards his friend, James however, who knew his best friend well enough to detect the warning signs grabbed Sirius before he made any contact with Peter.

'PADFOOT! CALM - DOWN!' he yelled, panting slightly as he struggled with his friend. Peter was cowering in the corner, visibly shaking, his face beetrood red and looking as if he was going to wet himself.

'Erm - hello?'

Everyone froze at the sound of her voice and their heads all whipped round to stare at her.

'What?' Alina asked, confused by their stares.

'Tell them where you were Alli!' Peter squeaked from the corner, his chubby hands still held up as he tried to shield himself.

'Tell them - what?' Alina felt as if a weight had plumeted into her stomach. How did he know? She wanted to groan but merely shrugged as she made her way to sit down ' I was with the Slytherins' she told them casually, and held her breathe for the outburst.

She was not dissapointed.

'WHAT?!' James and Sirius yelled simultaniously. James had let go of Sirius in shock and Sirius in turn had toppled to the floor. Neither payed attention to this they just continued to stare at her with looks of disbelief.

'I was with the Slytherins' she said quietly ' and there's not need to gape, you look like a pair of fish'

'Wait a minute Alli...you were with the Slytherins...as in Snape?'

'and De Valle'

'Bellatrix!' Sirius barked and Alina had to fight the urge to flinch.

'Yes I was.' she confirmed, feeling nervous.

'They're connected with the people who killed Polly'

Everyone fell silent at Remus' cold words as he turned to glare at her with his haunted eyes. She could sense the animalistic hostalitity he was fighting to control. It was stronger than normal, it seemed to be dominating him.

'They're not the ones who killed P - who took her away from us' she dropped her gaze.

'That's who they're going to become when they get out of here though' he argued and she saw his fists clench and begin to violently shake.

_Calm Remus, stay calm_ she thought silently and she watched as the shaking subsided.

'Stop that' he hissed, and this time she flinched.

'Look...' she began looking around her and taking in a deep breath 'Dumbledore keeps saying how communication between the houses is important...he - he says that it will help against Voldemort, all I know is that If Dumbledore thinks that then he's probably right and I'm going to try and do it...if there is any chance of stopping them' she told them all and met their gazes.

'What, are you going to turn Snivillus into a good person?' Sirius sneered and Remus just turned away from her.

'Well considering Lily used to be best friends with him i'm guessing he wasn't always a bad person!' she responded ' look i'm going to do this okay?!'

She looked at them in determination, and tried to look stubborn rather than upset at her friends disgusted looks.

'We're here' Alice told them quietly and they all looked out of the window for the first glance at Hogwarts.

***

'What do you think Sirius?...Sirius?'

Despite having not responded once, Sophie Steel had repeatedly tried to get Sirius' attention the moment they had all sat down at the Gryffindor table. She did not seem to understand that he had a girlfriend, a girlfriend whom he was slightly angry at, nevertheless Alina was still his girlfriend. He was slowly grinding his teeth together at the sound of the shrill voice.

He looked at his friends and a wave of emotion his him, he looked from Lily to Remus, from James to Alina...they had clearly all noticed Polly's absence from their usual seats. Lily and Alice looked physically shrunken, they slouched into their seats and looked down at their plates, Sirius suspected that they were trying to hide tears. Remus looked terrible,words couldn't even begin to describe it, they were used to seeing him looking awful at this time of the month but never before had they seen him looking so disheveled. His eyes flickered to Alina and he froze, she was sitting perfectly still as if being made out of stone. Her face was stony, frozen into an unreadable expression, yet her eyes were transfixed on the empty seat that Polly used to sit at. She did not blink, she just stared and all Sirius wanted to do at that point was wrap his arms round her.

A cough of attention stopped Sirius from doing so, the entire hall had fallen silent and every head had turned to Dumbledore, who was standing before them.

'Welcome back' he beamed, his arms held out in welcome 'now I am sure you are all desperate to tuck in to your feast...' a loud murmer of agreement echoed throughout the hall at his words and he chuckled slightly, before his face dropped slightly and took on a more serious tone.

'I am, however, going to have to delay the feast for a few more moments to say a few words'

He paused slightly, everyone was watching him expectantly and his gaze wavered for a moment over to Gryffindor table.

'I always say how nice it is to welcome everyone back, but unfortunately I cannot say that tonight' a stony silence had bestowed itself in the hall 'Polly Wisdom and her parents were killed by Death Eaters.'

The hall errupted into outcry, people shouted out, whispered in horror and some began to cry, yet Dumbledore carried on.

'Polly had a kind heart, she was loved by everyone who knew her. She was a talented student and a loyal friend. Polly and her parents died valiantly, fighting against the dark to the very end. Dark times are upon us, people may say that they will get better but alas, they are wrong. Many of you already know those who have fallen by the hand of a man who calls himself Voldemort, and it is essential that at times like these we come together as a community. Forget any segregation and unite. We are all part of Hogwarts and are therefore all connected. I ask you to raise your glasses. To Polly Wisdom, a true Gryffindor.'

'To Polly' her name rung throughout the hall as everyone stood to toast. Everyone that is except Remus.

'Moony?'

Remus had fallen back into his chair as he had began to stand and was flinching in pain. He was trembling uncontrollably and a cold sweat had hit him.

'Hospital Wing' he muttered, panting slightly.

James, Sirius and Peter exchanged quick glances. This was not a promising sign, Remus never suffered this badly before a transformation. The pain that Remus was in now held an ominous warning as to what he was to suffer that night. When he was at the mercy of the full moon.

***

Sirius let out a howl of frustration as he wrestled with Remus in order to prise him off of James, he sunk his jaws into Remus' shoulder and heaved with all of his might, finally Remus let out a vicious snarl as he was thrown away from his prey and into the wall of the shack._ Sorry Remus'_ he thought silently, as his eyes scanned over James, who was shakily getting to his feet.

They both immediately turned to face Remus and Sirius shook his head in disbelief, after a blow like that Remus would usually submit to them, but tonight was different. The wolf glared at them, his eyes were black with hatred, he bared his teeth exposing a foreboding line of daggers that were twisted into a mocking grin. He arched his back and his hairs stood on end, the room shook as he let out an animalistic howl. Sirius shifted his stance slightly, tensing in preparation for the attack. The wolf had pounced suddenly, his throat errupting in a series of vicious growls as he lunged with his teeth and claws to attack in any way he could. James slammed his antlers into the wolf's side with as much strength as he could muster, and felt a sickening relief as the animal skidded across the room in a heap. The relief was short lived, within a second the wolf had sprung up and was once again advancing on them, totally abandoned to the hunt.

It had been that way for hours, both James and Sirius felt as if their legs were going to give way on them at any moment, but with each attack their friend sprung on them, they fought back determinedly. Silently they cursed Peter, the friend who had disappeared within a few short hours of the transformation.

James looked briefly at Sirius, their eyes met only for a moment but they might as well have spoken a thousand words. Every thought and feeling was projected through that one look, the pain, the sorrow, the sympathy and the distress. They couldn't give up, yet they were not sure how much longer they could go on. Both had sustained injuries, blood was matted in Sirius' coat and deep gashes were exposed all over James' body.

It was that moment before sunrise, the darkest part of the night, when Remus stopped attacking. The inhuman noises still errupted from his throat, yet he stayed contained to one corner. As with the night though, things always got darker before the light, James and Sirius had to watch helplessly as their friend mercilessly self mutilated himself, tearing at his skin with his teeth and claws, ripping the fur from his body and crashing his head against the wall.

It was the moment that he tried to claw at his neck, tried to create a deep gash over the arteries, when James and Sirius realised the total desperation of Remus. They threw themselves at him, pinning him harshly to the floor, James' antlers trapping Remus' head, preventing any jerking movements. Yet still he thrusted, twisted, bucked. He snarled, snapped and scratched. Eventually, as the welcome sound of the early song bird reached their ears, his body fell limp, and with blood curdling shrieks of agony they watched as the wolf retook the shape of their best friend. They echoed his motion until they were in their usual forms, holding Remus in a tight embrace as his shrieks continued, slowly subsiding into sobs until eventually he just shivered.

And for a moment they just sat together, sitting in silence. The only thing to be heard was the serenade of the single bird, singing in the morning of Polly's funeral.

***

Three coffins.

The sight was horrific. The soothing classical music played upon their entry could not be heard over the sobbing in the Church. Alina held Lily tightly as she sobbed hysterically at the entrence of Polly's snow white coffin.

'She shouldn't be - this isn't fair..it's not fair' she whispered over and over between sobs, shaking her head in denial.

'I know, I know' Alina whispered back in her ear, trying with all her might to prevent her voice from cracking. Seeing Polly's coffin was destroying her. She fought relentlessly with the tears that were threating to escape, along with a river of emotions close behind them. She couldn't let them. Not until there had been some justice. For every tear that ran freely from Lily's eye, Alina expanded her anger, her hatred and her need for revenge. She was not going to let this happen without revenge. Once the person who had caused this funeral was dead, then she would grieve, but until then she would stay strong.

_Polly I won't let him get away with it, I will find him and he will regret ever harming you _She thought silently, her jaw set in determination and her eyes flaming with anger 'I promise you' she murmered as she stared at Polly's coffin.

'Huh?' Lily asked softly amongst sobs.

''s nothing for you to worry about' Alina replied quietly, pulling her friend closer and turning to grasp Alice's hand as she sobbed into Franks shoulder.

Their eyes all followed the smartly robed wizard who stood before them.

'Welcome' he told them sorrowfully 'we are all here to celebrate the lives of the Wisdom family...'

****

Sirius carefully supported Remus as they stood in the pew, he had deep gashes all over his body and his face was heavily bruised. His breathing remained shallow, and he regularly struggled to gasp for a breath, yet despite the fact that he could barely support his own head, he had refused to not come. He had refused to not stand. This was Polly's funeral and he was going to honor her in the best way he could.

Remus barely heard the words spoken by the wizard at the front of the service, his eyes had locked on the horrifically beautiful coffin that beheld Polly's body. A part of him wanted to rip it open, wanted to see her face one last time, wanted to feel her touch and stroke her hair, but he knew it was wrong. She wouldn't be the same. Nothing would be the same.

'The love in this family was unconditional, it was pure and sincere. Individually they brought rays of light into the lives of those who knew them, and together they lit up even the darkest of nights. The world has lost three souls who radiated happiness and life, and whilst we have to suffer at the loss of such individuals, their souls will live on in eternal happiness. They will never be forgotton. They will always live on'

With a flick of his wand and to the song of a single violin, red curtains began to draw, signalling that the coffins were going to be cremated.

Once again the room exploded in hysteria, a cocophany of sobbing and screaming pierced the air, yet it all seemed distant to Remus. He could no longer feel his physical injuries, but instead the agonizing pain of his heart being wrenched from his body and shredded into pieces. He could no longer hear the distraught cries of the other mourners, but only the single violin which as the morning bird had marked the beginning of his farewell to Polly, sung his final farewell to her.

_I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you I love you._

He repeated the words desperately in his mind as the sight of Polly's coffin slowly began to fade behind the curtains. It was not until he felt the gutteral sob from his chest interrupt his words that he realised he had been speaking out loud.

The curtain finally closed, Polly was gone and the violin stopped. 'I love you' he gasped and then gave in to his pain, and sunk to his knees.

***

Remus was taken straight to the hospital wing after the funeral. Sirius, James and Peter had to carry him between them as he had reduced himself to little more than comatosed. The moment the funeral had ended so had his strength. His eyes were blank, his face was pale and he was hyperventilating. The moment he had been placed in bed he had given in to his tears and had writhed in a way that resembled the wolf within him, pure animalistic pain. He had soon been sent into a dreamless sleep, and only then did his friends leave his side.

'Are you sure we should leave him?' Peter asked nervously, glancing back at his friend as they walked away.

'Wormtail, none of us will be any use to him now, we all need to rest.' James told him shortly.

'And since when have you worried about leaving him?' Sirius snapped, referring to Peter's abandonment of them the night before.

Peter blushed red, but was saved from responding as Sirius turned away from him and climbed through the Portrait hole.

They all sat together quietly by the fire, they could feel the other students watching them, but thankfully no one dared to approach them to say an consoling words. That is, everyone except Sophie.

'Hey Sirius...I'm soooo sorry about Polly' her voice whined as she sat down in the seat next to him.

'Why are you sorry? Was it you who killed her?' he shot back.

'Oh! Erm- no...I..of course not! I just -'

'Thought you'd use Polly's death as an excuse to flirt with Sirius' the cold edge in Alina's tone was a clear warning that if Sophie had any sense she should leave. A few heads turned in their direction and the room quietened.

'What? Jealous Alina? I don't need an excuse, i've already had my share of Sirius' she smirked 'and I didn't need Polly to interest him befo-ARGH!' Sophie shrieked at the sight of Alina's wand being pointed directly towards her.

'Don't you dare say her name' Alina told her quietly through clenched teeth ' go away now, or I swear to God you'll regret it'

'Sirius!' she pleaded.

'Go away' he spat at her.

Her eyes widened with a mixture of fear and anger towards Alina, but at the sight of Alina's relentless gaze and the red sparks that had escaped her wand,she turned and fled out of the common room.

'I hate her' Lily said quietly, yet her voice held so much venom it didn't sound like her own, James raised his eyebrows at her in shock and pulled her in for a hug.

'You all right?'

Alina jumped slightly as Sirius' husky voice sounded in her ear. The incident with Sophie had been forgotten almost as soon as it had begun and her mind had run away with thoughts of the funeral and that blonde death eater...

'I'm...okay' she told him and felt suddenly warmed by the feel of his arms slipping around her waist. She lent her head into his shoulder and let the moment take hold, the safety and comfort of his embrace was truly amazing, she wanted to stay like this and never let go. She moved her head slowly until she was staring deep into his eyes, and then brought her lips to his. The kiss began soft and slowly deepened, all the pain, the anger, the hatred washed away as soon as their lips met and she faded into a dream, they had all been replaced with love, with want, with need.

He broke away for a second.

'It's all going to be okay' he breathed soothingly.

And the moment was gone.

He felt her tense up, he felt as she pulled away from their embrace, and he felt a jolt of worry as he took in her hardened expression.

'No. Not it's not'

She went to stand up but felt his hand pull her back.

'Alli -?' he froze mid sentence as she turned back to him, her face was full of such conflict that it was painful to observe. She looked as if she wanted him to hold her, and yet she wanted to walk away.

'Don't walk away' he pleaded and it was settled, her face crumpled as if she had lost an inner battle and she melted once again into his arms.

***

The common room was empty and they remained the last ones there. They had barely moved, barely spoken, they had just stayed in exactly the same places.

Peter lay in the armchair, his head tilted back and his mouth wide open as he slept, Lily lay curled in a ball on James' lap, trembling every now and then as fresh tears engulfed her, Alice lay asleep on the sofa nearest the fire and Alina and Sirius remained holding each other close, breathing in unision.

'You should go to bed' James said gruffly, due to the lack of using his voice 'you're falling asleep' he told Lily.

'I don't want -' Lily began.

'Lils' Alina interrupted, and gestured to Alice, who lay asleep and alone.

'Yeah, come on lets go' Lily agreed, and after saying a begrudging goodnight they all made their way to their dorms.

Alina had magically levitated Alice and was carefully replacing her on her bed before she noticed the owl.

A large regal looking, black owl perched on her bed. The strange vibe that seeped from this bird, the way her body did not seem to want to approach it gave her an idea as to who it was from.

'Alli?'

Alina spun round to face Lily, feeling almost guilty about the arrival of the owl. She raised her eyebrows at Lily to indicate that she was listening.

'I was going to say....we should stay in Alice's bed tonight, I think we all need to be together'

Alina smiled 'yeah you're right, i'll be over in a minute' she smiled softly and watched as Lily padded across the floor and climbed into bed.

Instantly discomfort washed over her, she moved quickly to her bed and with trembling hands removed the letter from the owls foot.

It was written in green ink, with luxurious elegant writing.

Alina,

Our first meeting is tomorrow night. 1am in the dungeons.

Do not tell anyone and do not bring anyone. There are none

who you are aquainted with who could fulfill the

requirements of the Dark Lord.

We shall see you then. Do not be late.

Bellatrix Black.

A slight chill went up Alina's spine, but it immediately vanished and was replaced by a sadistic excitement. She was getting closer and closer to avenging Polly. And revenge is what she would get.

'I promise' she whispered so softly it was barely audible even to herself, and she hoped that somewhere, Polly could hear her.

**A/N: I found this chapter really hard to write as it is sort of a connecting chapter, so a bit awkward! I'm not too happy with it, but would love to know what you think? Please review :) All your reviews for last chapter really kept me going! And I will be writing much more often!**

**Thanks x**


	25. Chapter 25

'We weren't sure if you were going to be joining us Alina'

Alina threw a cold look at Bellatrix before she threw herself down onto a stool in the Potions lab

'Well if you'd actually told me what room you were in and hadn't put so many charms down here I wouldn't of had to look in every room before I found you, maybe I wouldn't have been late' she snapped, ignoring the looks of amusement at her attitude towards Bellatrix.

'Don't you dare speak to me you common little-'

'Bella! Our instructions will arrive soon and I doubt the Dark Lord will appreciate you attacking someone whom he seems to be interested in' Snape interrupted cooly.

'I wasn't attacking-' she began furiously.

'Verbally Bella, attacking _verbally'_ he told her lazily ' although we all know you're not a big fan of that kind of attack' he chuckled, and they all joined in. Alina had to fight off the shiver down her spine at the sound of their cold laughter.

'Yes, so maybe you better watch it _half blood,_ although my cousin doesn't seem to mind' she added spitefully.

Alina saw Regulus' eyes automatically flick to her at the mention of Sirius, and the familier cool anger reared its ugly head within her.

'You know, considering you spend half your life telling everyone how superior you are to them, you really aren't the brightest bulb are you _Bella_, do you honestly think that i'd be scared of your threats? You can't even successfully insult me, yet alone attack me' she scoffed, glaring angrily at Bellatrix.

Before she could even reach for her own wand she was staring at the tip of Bellatrix's, for a second a pang of fear dominated her anger and she felt her mind go blank with panic, yet that moment was short lived as the moment she saw Bellatrix's smug face her anger returned. She laughed. She looked straight into the deathly black eyes that were narrowed at her, and she laughed.

'Are you _really _going to attack me Bellatrix?' she taunted 'the Dark Lord wants me and you know it' she added, cocking an eyebrow at her arrogantly.

'BELLATRIX'

Everyone froze at Snape's yell and turned to stare at him.

'The mark' he spat 'it is time.'

Alina watched in horrified amazement as Bellatrix lowered her wand and pulled up her sleeve, revealing a jet black mark seared into her skin.

'What is that?' she gasped, before she could stop herself.

'It's the Dark Mark' Regulus explained to her softly 'the Dark Lord gives it to you when you become a Death Eater.'

The awe was obvious in his voice, yet Alina did not feel the same anger towards him. She didn't know if it was because he resembled Sirius so strongly, or whether it was his boyish excitement that showed is obliviousness to the reality of what he was getting himself into, all she knew was that she felt sorry for him.

Snape pulled a small marble figurine of a snake from his robe and placed it on the desk between himself and Bellatrix, its eyes were made from emeralds that glinted eerily in the candle lit room. Then, with the arm that bore the dark mark he clasped Bellatrix's hand and they both pointed their wands at the snake.

'Absconditus' they spoke in unision, and immediately the snake's eyes emitted a bright green light that projected onto the wall. Alina jumped violently as Snape emitted a harsh hissing sound that echoed around the dungeon, she felt a warm hand grasp her arm. 'He's speaking parseltongue! The Dark Lord taught him that word to allow the communication to work!' Regulus whispered in her ear.

She did not mind that his hand remained on her arm, in fact she felt comforted by it, it seemed to be the only source of warmth in the room.

Almost as soon as the strange hissing noises had left his tongue, scrawling words appeared on the screen of green light on the wall.

_You are to watch Dumbledore's movements. He has made movements to create a resistance group within the students._

_I want you to find out who Dumbledore enlists and provide me with their names and those of their family._

_I want the names before our next attack. The mudbloods who are involved in this resistance will perish in it._

'Attack?' she whispered to Regulus.

'I don't know, the Dark Lord only speaks of his attacks to real Death Eaters. He must have involved Snape and Bellatrix in his plans, but I won't know until it is over, or when I have been marked' he told her under his breath.

Immediately Alina built up as much power as she could within her body, using her hatred for Voldemort and his murdering followers as leverage. As soon as she felt her fingers begin to tingle with complete power she delved into Bellatrix's mind. It took a moment to dig beneath the feelings of utter awe and devotion for Voldemort, to discover the information that she was looking for.

_**A high cold voice echoed throughout what looked like a cave. A group of hooded people stood in a circle around a single figure. His face was deathly pale, his eyes a blood red that projected cruelness, he looked from one hooded figure to another and his mouth twisted into a sadistic smile.**_

_**'When is the next Hogsmeade date Snape?' he asked, his eyes resting on one Death Eater.**_

_**'The weekend after next my Lord, on the Saturday'**_

_**'You and Bellatrix will place the charms on the edge of the village during your visit'**_

_**'Yes my Lord' Snape bowed his head.**_

_**'Bellatrix?'**_

_**'My Lord?'**_

_**'Are you clear on what you must do? It is essential that the timing is perfect, if it is not I will not be happy Bellatrix and you do not want that.'**_

_**'Of course not my Lord! I am clear...it will be done perfectly'**_

_**'What time does it need to be set for?'**_

_**'Two in the afternoon for the next day my Lord' **_

_**Voldemort nodded, and walked over to stroke Bellatrix's cheek with his skeloton like hands. Bellatrix's face exploded into utter ecstacy.**_

_**'Well done my Death Eater, if all goes to plan I shall be very pleased with you and Severus.'**_

_**'Yes my Lord.'**_

_**His face whipped round to the rest of the Death Eaters, and his eyes scanned them all, as if appraising them.**_

_**'Whilst Bellatrix and Severus are placing these charms on Hogsmeade, Lucius will be placing the same charms on a town called Brentwood. When the time comes on the Sunday, the towns will switch places. When the Aurors try to apparate to Hogsmeade, where they believe the attack is taking place, they will be taken to where Brentwood is normally situated. This will allow you, my Death Eaters, to complete your attack. Destroy the vermin. And leave before the Aurors even arrive. Do you understand?'**_

_**'Yes my Lord' they all echoed.**_

_**'Lucius? You have had your fun recently, you are clear on the charm?'**_

_Alina turned to the Death Eater that Voldemort was addressing, and silently gasped. She stared into those familiar cold grey eyes. The last eyes that Polly ever looked into._

_**'Yes my Lord' Lucius responded.**_

Regulus' voice broke her concentration from Bellatrix's mind.

'Bellatrix and Snape have seperate meetings with the Dark Lord to recieve further instructions' he whispered.

Alina's eyes flickered once again to the screen, new instructions had appeared.

_Look for the weaknesses of those who join the resistance. Report names to me who you feel can be manipulated to be informants for us._

The screen went blank and the light that had been projected form the marble snake dissapeared. Leaving Alina and the Slytherins standing in silence for a moment.

'Well, it seems that we all need to keep our eyes and ears open' Avery broke the silence, and turned to Alina ' Dumbledore will recruit many in Gryffindor, he may even ask you.'

'Yeah! He's been trying to teach you to control your powers so he'll definately ask you!' Regulus added, squeezing her arm slightly.

'I doubt it' she shook her head and grimaced ' he keeps looking at me strangely, after the Polly's fu- after yesterday, he gave me a lecture on how the Dark Lord is wrong and that we must 'all see the light.' he doesn't trust me anyway' she lied, convincingly.

'Well keep your eyes and ears open, i'm sure we'll find some names' Snape added smoothly.

'Well then. That's it. Keep a look out and we'll meet again, same time on Friday' Bellatrix told them, and they all stood to leave.

'Alina?' Regulus called as she was about to leave.

She realised that he wanted to talk to her privately and hung back as Snape swept passed her, _Oh God I want to punch him_ she thought.

Soon she was alone with Regulus.

'Alina..' he began sounding nervous.

'Yeah?' she asked, concerned.

'You go out - I mean you're with - you're Sirius' girlfriend right?' he spluttered, avoiding her gaze.

'Yeah I am...' she replied, wondering where he was going with this.

'Does he know about this? About you being here? How is he? Is he all right? Where's he living?'

Alina blinked, trying to absorb all of the questions thrown at her and Regulus blushed slightly. He heart twinged slightly as she realised how Regulus missed Sirius. She had been right, he was not like the others. He seemed to be merely a boy who had complied with his families beliefs rather than finding his own.

'Yes...he does know that I am meeting with you all. He doesn't know specifics, he doesn't know about my involvement with the Dark Lord - yet.' she began, hoping beyond belief that Sirius would never discover this involvement.

'He's find Regulus...he's really happy'. He's living with his friend, but he might be moving into his own place soon' she paused, and smiled at the way Regulus was drinking in all of the information about his brother 'he's got good friends and he's not alone. He's not alone at all'

There was a moment of quietness as Regulus fell into his thoughts.

'Thank you Alina' he told her, and she stood and made to leave 'you can call me Reg if you like? That's what Sirius used to call me?' he called behind her.

She turned to face him from the doorway 'See you later Reg' she smiled.

As soon as she left the Dungeons she started to run down the corridors. She had to speak to Dumbledore. She paused for a moment and cast her senses outwards, looking for anyone who may be following her. There wasn't a trace of anyone, but to be safe she cast a Disillusionment charm on herself.

As she made her way quickly through the corridors she allowed her mind to wander onto the death eater that had killed polly.

_Lucius. _The name echoed in her mind. Who was he? And how was she going to find out?

She took in a gulp of air as she reached Dumbledore's study.

'Phoenix' she gasped, and the door opened for her.

****

Peter looked at his watch as he lay in bed. It was half one and he still couldn't sleep. He rolled over restlessly and sighed. It was useless, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep yet, he had been laying there for hours. Silently he climbed out of bed and being careful not to wake him, he went to James' trunk and took out their map from inside.

He didn't open in until he had reached the common room and was sure that he wouldn't wake anyone.

'I solemnly swear I am up to no good'

As he climbed out of the portrait hole he glanced at the map to check that no one was outside and was relieved to see that the corridors leading to the kitchen were completely empty. The Dungoens however were another matter. There was a cluster of names all in one of the potions rooms and he studied them suspiciously. Bellatrix Black, Snape, Avery, De'Valle. They were all Slytherins, all potential Death Eaters. His eyes narrowed as he wondered what they were up to and then his gaze fell upon a name he did not expect to see.

Alina Blake.

What was she doing there? What was she up to? Peter's mind was whirling with questions that did not subside, even when he was drinking a hot chocolate in the kitchens. The nagging voice in the back of his mind soon got the better of him and he resolved to go an investigate. He climbed out of the kitchen portrait and stuffing the map into his pocket he made his way towards the dungeons.

It was dark, and eerily quiet. Peter was not used to wandering the school at night alone. He normally had his three friends with him, laughing and running away from Filch and Mrs Norris, his thoughts fell upon those times and his resolve set into stone. Remus was no longer laughing, he was laying in to hospital wing almost unrecognisable as his friend, and yet Alina was secretly meeting with Death Eaters? He had to find out what was going on.

'Lumos' he whispered, lighting up his wand so that he could see better. He had moved slowly, still finding it harder to find his way through the school at night, despite having done it so many times. Peter was a follower. Naturally hero-worshipping his friends, and allowing them to take the lead, therefore, exploring the school alone at night was a completely alien experience for Peter. One that he might have been quite proud of if he had not been so utterly terrified at that moment.

He reached the dungeons and took a deep breath. He pulled out his wand and listened. He couldn't hear a sound, not a single voice. It seemed to quiet, yet he moved slowly down the dungeon corridor regardlessly. He carefully pushed open the first dungeon door, relieved that it made no sound, and he peeked around the doorway diligently. The room was empty. There wasn't a single person in the room and Peter felt relief wash over him.

'Looking for someone?'

Peter jumped out of his skin as a cold voice sounded from behind him, he let out a suprised cry and spun round.

Peter's eyes widened as he stared into the cold grey ones of Marcus De'Valle.

'Well, Peter Pettigrew! What would you be down in the dungeons at this time of night for?' he asked mockingly, his eyes glinting cruelly.

'I-I could ask the s-same thing about y-you!' Peter retorted, trying to sound threatening.

Marcus just laughed at the obvious fear in Peter's voice. 'What are you going to do without your little friends here to protect you ay?' he asked softly, playing with his wand in his hands 'well perhaps we should show them what happens when Gryffindors go wandering around late at night'

'Crucio!'

'P-Protego!'

'POENA SCELETUS!'

Three voices sounded simulataneously. Firstly was Marcus, aiming the cruciatus curse at Peter. Secondly was Peter, whose hesitance left his shielding charm useless against the Cruciatus curse, and thirdly was an unknown female voice.

Peter flinched, waiting for the pain that was to come, but instead he was met by the shrieks of Marcus.

'What the-?'

'COME ON!' Peter heard a girl shout in his ear, and felt someone grab his hand and pull him away from the dungeons, leaving Marcus on the floor screaming in agony. The minute that they left the Dungeon corridor, not a sound could be heard. The muffliatus charm on the corridor was completely silencing Marcus' shouts. Peter allowed himself to be dragged away by the unknown figure, running after her down corridor after corridor before finally stopping near the trophy room.

For a minute they just gasped for air, trying desperately to catch their breath.

'What - did - you - do - to - him?!' Peter wheezed out, finally realising that the person he was now alone with had cast the spell that had left Marcus in complete agony.

'I did what you should have done - I protected you!' the girl snapped back, and removed the hood she was wearing.

Peter froze for a moment, the girl was pretty. She didn't look horrible, or cruel, she looked...nice. She had shoulder length dark blonde hair, watery blue eyes and a wide mouth that Peter suddenly wished to see smiling. He recognised her from Ravenclaw, yet had never spoken to her before in his life. Suddenly he felt tongue-tied.

'I - erm - what's your - you're Elyse right?' he managed to blurt out.

She laughed, a soft tinkling sound 'yes Elyse Noir, and you're Peter?'

'Yeah...that's me...Peter'

'So...are you going to thank me Peter?' she asked, raising an eyebrow and twisting her mouth into a smile.

'Thank you?...but...you - you -!'

'I stopped Marcus from putting the Cruciatus curse on you!' she told him, frowning slightly 'and all you were going to do was a shielding charm!' she shook her head at him.

'Yeah but you were just as bad as Marcus because of what you did!'

'Look. I get that you and your friends are too 'noble' to use dark magic and all that, but when someone's attacking you it's completely different! I thought it was because you aren't a good wizard that you didn't protect yourself, but I can't believe it's because your too 'good' for darker magic when protecting yourself...' she began to walk away from him and Peter grabbed her arm angrily.

'What do you mean you didn't think i'm a good wizard?! And using dark magic is never right!' he almost shouted.

For a second Elyse looked taken aback ' I thought you were a poor wizard because your friends always treat you like you are! And dark magic can actually be fascinating; I mean, when you have to defend yourself,shouldn't you use it? Those Death Eater's are clearly more powerful because they have no limits within battle. It's your limits that stop you from being able to save yourself.' she told him, looking so deeply into his eyes that for a moment he felt mesmerised by her.

He thought for a moment, realising that, in a way, he did agree with her reasoning over the use of dark magic when defending yourself.

'What do you mean my friends treat me like a dark wizard?' he asked angrily.

'Peter, they treat you like an inferior. Potter, Black...even those girls. They act like you're not as good as them, and it makes everyone else believe it.' she told him softly, moving closer towards him and stroking his arm.

'They do?'

'Yes...well it seems they do anyway, only you can truly know if you ever feel left out by them...'

Peter brushed off her words, yet he could not help but listen for a moment to the little voice in his head that was agreeing with her. There had been countless times where he felt inferior to his friends. Their good looks, their intellegence, their popularity and humour, it was all theirs and not his...he was merely a bystander to it all. Yet at the same time they had treated him like a brother, protecting him, and helping him to keep up with them in lessons.

'Look, I don't want to argue about it...I don't mean to insult your friends or anything, and I don't know you well enough to make a judgement...'

'No it's okay' he found himself responding, suddenly becoming aware of her proximity and the way her hand was resting on his arm ' I guess they do treat me like an inferior sometimes...'

She beamed at him and moved slightly closer ' I don't know you very well Peter Pettigrew' she whispered ' but i've got a feeling i'd like to'

Peter looked at her and grinned, his heartbeat began to thump eractically as her face edged closer to his, and when her lips finally reached his own, he felt like he could fly.

****

'So they're going to technically attack Brentwood, but it would be in Hogsmeade...if that makes sense?' Alina finally finished, having related the entire story to Dumbledore.

'Excellent' Dumbledore beamed at her 'you really have done excellently'

'Thank you Sir' she smiled wearily.

'I will alert those who need to be alerted and we will take action in order to prevent or at least stop this attack before any harm is done' Dumbledore paused for a moment and peered over his half moon spectacles 'I'm going to have to convince the student's involved that I do not, how should I put it, take a shine to you. I can assure you Alina, that the reality is quite the opposite, yet in order to convince them of your tale, and that you are not enlisted in the order, I shall have to act accordingly.'

Alina grinned at her headmaster 'That's fine Proffessor...so you mean, there is a resistance?'

Dumbledore smiled warmly at her 'There is a resistance, as you put it, that I have started which goes by the name of the Order of the Phoenix, I will, in fact, be recruiting students I feel would be interested in this movement soon.'

'The Order of the Phoenix' she tried on her tongue ' I like it. So can I join?'

'Of course you can Alina, but this can be fore another time, right now...I believe you are in need for some rest?'

Almost as if it were magic, Alina let out a deep yawn at his words and Dumbledore chuckled, Alina threw him a sleep grin.

'I think you're right Sir, good night.'

Alina made her way quietly back to the common room, as soon as she reached the portrait hole she practically ran to get to bed. It was as if he body was yearning for rest, craving it like a drug.

The moment her head hit her pillow she fell into a deeply disturbed sleep.

_**She found herself in complete darkness. There was no light. No floor or walls or any form of object. She was in complete nothingness. It was as if she were floating, yet there was no floating sensation.**_

_**'LUCIUS!' a cold high pitched voice screached so loudly that it echoed through the empty space she found herself in.**_

_**'THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!' the voice yelled again, it's echo mingling with the other shout.**_

_**'AVADA KEDAVRA!'**_

_**'CRUCIO!'**_

_**'POLLY'**_

_**'THE ORDER'**_

_**'THE RESISTANCE!'**_

_**'ATTACK!'**_

_**'BRENTWOOD'**_

_**'HOGSMEADE!'**_

_**BELLATRIX. SNAPE!'**_

_**'LUCIUS!'**_

_**The voice screamed words over and over, creating a cacophony of echoes that sent a searing pain into Alina's ears. The voice continued to shout the words, causing the noise to gradually build up louder and louder. She threw her hands to her ears, tempting to block out the sound from the vacuum around her, but the noise just began to sound inside her own mind. She screamed in frustrated pain as the build up of pressure in her head grew unbearable.**_

Alina sat up bolt right in bed. She was dripping with sweat and her covers were soaked. She was panting heavily as if she had been running. A searing pain exploded inside her head and she clutched it between her hands. She groaned in pain as it grew more and more agonizing. She pressed hard on her skull, hoping desperately that the pressure would help subside the pain but nothing was helping...it was intolerable.

And then it was gone. The pain suddenly subsided, and she was left laying there, panting and drenched with sweat.

She climbed out of bed and performed a quick charm to clean her sheets. She swayed a little as a sudden spell of dizziness hit her, and took it as a sign to get back into bed. As she lay there, one word kept repeating through her mind as if to the beat of an unheard drum.

_Lucius. Lucius. Lucius. Lucius. Lucius._

**A/N THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS AND THANK YOU FOR YOU PATIENCE WITH ME! My exams actually went really well (I think!) and i'm now able to happily write on here without either feeling really guilty or needing to revise :)**

**I just wanted to say thank you to Dryad, I couldn't message you so thank you for your review! It was much appreciated and I really enjoyed reading it! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! So THANK YOU :)**

**Anyway as always, please keep reviewing (you all know how much I love them!) and that way i'll keep writing :D**

**Thank you xxx**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26:**

Alina sat quietly in the common room, head bent over a book, and engrossed in her History of Magic notes. A deep frown was etched on her face as she struggled to memorise dates and the names of countless Goblins. She jumped in suprise at the touch of an arm curling around her shoulders and looked up to find Sirius sitting beside her.

'You need to get your nose out of...that thing' he told her, taking the book off of her with a look of utter disgust on his face.

'That _thing'_ she began snatching the book back from him ' is a book...maybe you should look at one? NEWTs are only a couple of months away...'

'Yeah, yeah' he brushed off her suggestion ' but it would be nice for you to spend some time with me you know? You're always busy doing something else...' he whinged and Alina rolled her eyes.

'Yeah like with the Slytherins' Remus muttered from the seat next to them.

There was a moment of awkward silence. Alina felt Sirius stiffen up next to her and her stomach dropped. Somehow Peter had discovered about her meeting with the Slytherin's and had conveyed the news to all of the group, needless to say their reactions had not been pleasurable for her. The fact that she had continued to meet up with them had not only caused conflict between them all but had formed a noticeable wedge in her relationship with Sirius...one that had been gradually growing, despite both of them stubbornly trying to ignore it.

'Yeah...erm...well it's dinner soon, come on we'll go down together!' Sirius continued in a voice that strained to sound bright, he yanked her forcably to her feet and Alina immediately flinched.

'Alli?' he asked in concern.

The room began to spin, she blinked furiously as she tried to clear her vision and clenched her teeth waiting for the searing pain in her head to subside. Since her first meeting with the Slytherins the headaches had become a constant presence. There was a continuous dull ache stretching through her mind which enraged with sharp movements into agony accompanied by light headedness.

'Yeah..fine...i've just got a headache' she grumbled, allowing Sirius to pull her to the portrait hole.

'You coming Moony?' Sirius asked.

Remus looked stonily at Alina for a few moments before he replied 'i'll be down in a little bit.'

* * *

'You're not going to pass your exams if you don't start revising' she told him, a slight smile playing on her lips 'maybe you should just start doing a little bit of revision...'

'You'll never take me alive!' he cut her off and began running away from her down the corridors. She let out an exhasperated groan as she watched his retreating figure before taking off after him, only catching up at the entrance of the Great Hall.

'What - the - hell - is - wrong with you!' she gasped, bent over and clutching her stomach as she tried to regain her breath.

Sirius grinned at her lazily and threw his arm around her shoulders 'that's what you get for trying to get me to _revise'_ he shuddered at the last word, and started to lead her into the hall.

When they arrived at their usual seats, the incessant talking that had been being exchanged between their friends suddenly subsided. Making it painfully obvious that their discussion had been about her. Alina glanced at Sirius' forced grin and Lily's reddening face. It was growing harder each day to watch the people she loved gradually distancing themselves. It was even harder that she couldn't blame them, because she knew that as far as they were concerned she was the traitor.

'Hey!' Lily welcomed them, a little too brightly.

'Hey Lil' Alina mumbled as she took her seat. She smiled at James and Peter, and merely nodded at Elyse, who had fallen into the habit of never leaving Peter's side for more than a few minutes.

It was growing difficult for her to stop herself from narrowing her eyes at the a way that she didn't quite understand, and couldn't explain to anyone else, she had instantly disliked her. She had tried to like her, for the sake of Peter, whom she had never seen so overwhelmingly happy, yet there was something about her...a vibe that she gave off which made her feel uneasy when she was present.

Gradually they all fell back into conversation, and Alina was able to sit back and listen. She no longer joined in, the constant aching of her head made it difficult for her to throw herself into any topic with her usual liveliness.

As she picked at the food on her plate, she could feel Sirius' eyes burning into the top of the head, but she didn't look up. She was too scared to see the look in his eyes. The all too familiar look of pain that he only gave when he was looking at her.

* * *

It was later on that night, when James and Sirius had returned from a detention with Proffesor Slugorn, that it happened. Something that had been so non existant in their lives over the last few weeks that the sound seemed completely alien to them all.

Remus laughed.

James and Sirius had been dramatically and over excitedly relating the tale of their detention to an eagerly listening common room, when Remus had began to laugh.

For a split second James had stopped completely in the middle of his sentence and had just stared at his friend, his jaw dropped and eyes wide open in shock. As a result of this expression Lily had joined in with Remus' laughter which had then opened a floodgate. Within seconds the story of the detention had been forgotten about and the atmosphere in the common room had dramatically lightened as finally, after weeks of uncharacteristic soberness, the marauders and the girls were laughing again.

Alina looked up from her seat in the corner and caught Sirius' eyes. She smiled at him, as brightly as she could. He must have registered it's fakeness however, as he only returned a sad smile which seemed to be full of questions.

She was pleased that they were moving on, that they were smiling and laughing. For she knew that that would be what Polly would have wanted. Yet she couldn't help but feel jealous. Why was it that they could start to move on whilst the pain and torment was still eating her alive. The anger, the pain and the desperate need to avenge Polly's death was consuming her and it felt as if it were stripping her of her humanity - of her life.

With every second she had spent with the Slytherins she had felt her friends slipping further and further away from her grasp and she knew it was only a matter of time before she could no longer continue with the balancing act.

She had often wondered how strong her selfish desires would be when it came to the final decision. Would she choose to hold on to her friends? To Sirius? Or would she continue with her mission, continue to help save the countless lives that would have been lost had she not discovered the upcoming attacks?

Losing them was agony for her. An agony that she could not show, that was knawing away at her, ripping her heart to shreds. Every unsure glance of sadness from Lily, every look of utter hatred from Remus and every tortured expression from Sirius as his heart waged constant war with his head. It was killing her.

If she lost them what would she do? She would be nothing than a corpse. Nothing more than an inferi.

'Erm...Alina?'

A nervous voice drew her away from her dark thoughts and back into reality. A tiny first year girl, who was physically shaking with nerves at having to address her was standing before her.

'Yeah?' she asked softly.

'T-there's someone outside wh-who w-wants to speak with you' she squeaked.

Alina frowned in confusion, and briefly registered that her friends were watching with interest.

'Do you know who it is?' she asked. As soon as she had spoken the words she instantly regretted them as she registered the look of terror on the small girls face.

'It's Bellatrix Black!'

The girl may as well have shouted the words across the common room as it immediately became apparent how many people had been eavesdropping. Alina had a split second to notice the hostile looks that her friends were shooting at her before she got to her feet.

'Thank you' she told the girl quietly and without a second glance at anyone else, she walked out of the Portrait Hole.

* * *

'I still don't understand why the respect her so much' Elyse shook her head in confusion.

'Who Alina?' Peter asked, equally confused.

'Obviously! I mean, they all hate the Slytherin's...yet they still seem to admire Alina despite the fact that she's practically a Death Eater!'

'Oh come on El...she's not a death eater -'

'This is what I mean!' she interrupted ' you give the Slytherin's all this stick...yet they're just honest about what they want...they want power and respect. Yet she sneaks around, goes behind everyone's backs and when _you _tell you're friends they all argue against you!'

'They don't -'

'Oh come on Peter are you blind? I've told you from the beginning that your friends don't respect you...and when you're honest with them they take sides with Alina -'

'But when they found out they all took my si-'

'Peter they immediately trusted Alina over you! They waited till Alina told them the truth before they believed you! Even though you've never lied to them and she has...especially on the train! They picked her over you!'

Peter fell silent as he realised the Elyse was right. They hadn't listened to him. Both on the train and after her first meeting with the Slytherins. What if she had denied the meeting? He felt for sure they would have believed her over him and it led him to question not for the first time...just how true were his friends? Elyse had really opened his eyes to their treatment of him and he had never felt so thankful for someone in his entire life.

* * *

'So to what do I owe this pleasure?' Alina sneered sarcastically at Bellatrix as she climbed out of the Portrait hole. She felt angry that Bellatrix had come to her common room and made everyone aware of her aquantence with her.

'We're having a meeting. Now.' Bellatrix snapped.

'Now? What? Why?!' Alina asked in confusion.

But there was no reply. Bellatrix had spun on her feet and begun marching down the corridor. There was nothing for Alina to do but follow, jogging slightly to keep up with the girls fast pace.

'Why are you late?' Avery asked icily as they both entered the dungeons.

'The half blood showed her inferior intellect and struggled to comprehend having a meeting now' Bellatrix smirked spitefully as she took a seat.

'The _half blood _has a name. If you can manage with _Severus _you can manage with me' Alina snapped angrily.

'Unlike _you _Severus has already proved _himself _to the Dark Lord, as have I. Therefore you do remain inferior to us.'

'Well maybe you should take that stick out of you're ar-'

'Perhaps the two of you could take a check on your tongues as I doubt your petty argument is more important than the wishes of the Dark Lord' Snape remarked snidely and the two of them immediately fell silent.

Out of habit Alina had already begun pushing her mind barrior out and into the others. She had brushed past Regulus, feeling slightly saddened by his excited thoughts. She had flickered through Bellatrix's list of spells she would like to torture her with, and felt briefly impressed by the amount of dedication Bellatrix had put in to create as much pain as she possibly could. The number of Slytherins in the room had steadily increased, yet she knew that they were oblivious to any important information and her mind finally rested on Avery.

For a split second she had to check herself in, as her vision slightly blurred and the familiar pain exploded in her head, and then she delved straight in, looking furiously for any important pieces of information. She was about to give up when a sudden thought seemed to throw itself to her.

**'Yes the Dark Lord himself has approved of my sister's marriage' Bellatrix's arrogant voice was informing a group of Slytherin's.**

**'Well i'm not suprised. Think of how well the pure blood line will continue if Narcissa and Lucius get married. It provides a perfect union' Snape replied cooly.**

**'Yes you're right Severus. Of course it makes sense that the two families would unite, there are very few families with blood so pure now days'**

The memory was short, but its importance to Alina was significant. She knew it would be easier now, she knew she would be able to find out who this Lucius was. And she knew that soon he would pay for what he did to Polly. She would make him pay.

'So why are we having a meeting in the middle of the day? Must be important?' she asked with interest. She had been suprised not to have found a bit attack planned in any of their minds.

'The Dark Lord has decided that an initiation is to take place soon. You will be recieving the Dark Mark.'

An excited chatter that left chills up Alina's spine echoed around the room.

'When?' Regulus asked eagerly.

'Soon' Snape replied vaguely ' we are telling you now so that you can make your decisions tonight. Tomorrow you will give your final decision. It is simple. You either choose weakness...or greatness.'

Snape did not wait for any questions. As soon as he had related the information he sweeped out of the room, quickly followed by Bellatrix and Avery.

Alina made to leave but felt someone grasp her arm.

'Will you meet me tonight? So we can talk about it?' Regulus whispered in her ear.

She paused briefly. If there was any way that she could persuade Regulus to change his mind she was going to take it. She could not live with the guilt if he joined up and she had done nothing to try and stop it. She couldn't imagine him as a killer. She did not want to imagine it. He was too much like Sirius, yet with a much more childlike temperament. He was not as strong as his brother, and it scared her how easily led he was.

'What time and where?'

'1am...by the quidditch pitch?' he asked.

'See you then' she replied softly and made her way swiftly back to the common room.

* * *

'I just don't know what to do anymore' Sirius sighed, sitting slumped in a chair in the common room.

James looked from his friend's dishevalled appearence to his girlfriend's worried expression.

'Sirius you know she loves you...'

'Don't make excuses for her Lily' James warned.

'I'm not James!' she snapped 'but I think I know my best friend better than _you_ and I'm telling you now she is not a Death Eater.'

'How well do you know this Alina though Lil?' Sirius asked in a sunken voice.

'Well - I - she - she's still the same person...'

'Is she? Would the Alli you know go and meet _my _cousin and Snape?...I dunno, I get these moments where it seems like her old self and then...' he broke off, looking utterly defeated.

'Just give it a chance Padfoot...could you really end it mate?' James asked.

'End it!?' Lily sqeaked in alarm and stared at Sirius.

'End it? I'm way to far in Prongs...' he groaned.

'Shhh' Lily warned them, as Alina re entered the common room.

'Hey..' she began sheepishly, not really knowing how to act.

There was a brief pause and Sirius jumped up onto his feet, alarming Alice who had been sitting on the floor infront of him.

'Let's go.' he said, grabbing Alina's hand and dragging her towards the Portrait hole.

It was only Lily who saw the flinch of pain on Alina's face as she was dragged away. And a nervous feeling in her stomach told her that something was wrong. Very wrong.

**A/N: Sorry this is just a short one...it was meant to basically be the next chapter, but as always my fingers got carried away with me and I realised the link to the next chapter was so long it was practically a chapter in itself...so I know there's not much going on...but i'm already writing the next chapter (much more going on in it :D) but please read and review anyway as you all know that's what I live for :)**

**Thanks xxx**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27:**

'Alina I think we need to -'

Before Sirius could finish his sentence Alina had pulled him to her with suprising strength and crashed her lips to his with startling ferocity. All logical thinking evaporated from his mind and he gave himself up completely to his senses. His mouth merged passionately with her own and their bodies moulded together perfectly, his entire body ignited at her touch. It was as if his blood had turned into flames. The lust that surged through him eradicated any thoughts of doubt or confusion. She was _his _Alina. And he was hers. He would always be hers.

And then suddenly her lips were gone. The warmth of her touch was replaced by empty space and it felt as if a bucket of ice cold water had been thrown over him as he woke up to his surroundings. An empty corridor, with Alina standing opposite him with a look of such intensity that it caused him to have to inhale a deep breath of air.

'Al-?' he began, his words barely audible as he watched her chest panting for the breaths she had sacrificed for their kiss.

She broke him off by holding up her hand. She looked deeply into his eyes, it was as if her eyes were beacons from a lighthouse, searching the sea for ships, yet he did not know what she was looking for. It seemed,however, that she found it in his gaze, for she took a deep breath. Reached forward and clasped his hand in her own and spoke three words, with such clarity and confidence, that in a way that he would be too ashamed to ever admit, his knees grew weak.

'I love you'

He drew her close to him. His eyes never wavering from her own, so close that he could feel her breath on his cheek, and was almost certain that her heart was racing as fast as his own. He briefly acknowledged how beautiful she looked with a blush on her cheeks, before softly brushing her lips with his own.

'I love you too Alina'

If his eyes hadn't been as sharp as they were he would of missed it. Even as they were, the moment was so quick that he slightly doubted it had ever existed. But he knew that he doubted wrongly. He had seen the look in her eyes as if she were struggling to fight an inward battle, he saw her lips begin to part as if she were about to speak, and then he saw them snap shut as she thought better.

And he knew that she had seen his questioning frown, as her bottom lip involuntary trembled as she fought back the urge to cry.

'What is it?' he asked her softly 'don't you trust me?'

He flinched slightly as he realised what he asked her, and the words she had spoken all those months ago echoed throughout his mind

_I just don't trust._

'I - I do!' she told him, sounded as suprised by her own revalation as he was. 'I really do trust you' a slow grin formed on her face and he eyes twinkled as she looked at him.

'So tell me..' he urged gently, and instantly regretted it as her grin faltered.

'Sometimes you...want...to tell someone something' she began, speaking slowly as she obviously chose her words carefully 'but you can't tell them, not because you don't want to...because you just...can't'

Her eyes flickered back to his, pleading with him to somehow understand.

He held her gaze for a moment and then shrugged. He didn't understand what she was going on about, but when had he ever understood her? She loved him, she trusted him, and that was all that mattered.

He had fallen into thought and hadn't noticed the excited glint in her eye and playful grin that had spread over her face.

'Come with me' she grabbed his hand and started to half drag him down the corridor.

'Wha-? Where are we?'

'I'm taking you to a secret of Hogwarts that _you _haven't found. But _I _have' she told him pompously and laughed at his bemused expression. This look however, soon transpired into one of arrogance.

'I highly doubt it' he raised his eyebrows.

She stopped him finally, in the empty corridor on the seventh floor. She stood for a moment in thought, apparently staring intently at a solid wall.

'And we're here because...?'

She turned for a moment and gave him a triumphant grin 'Aha! I knew you hadn't found it!'

She proceeded to pace up and down the corridor three times in total silence, her brow frowning in concentration. After watching her with some bemusement for a short while, Sirius opened his mouth to ask what she was doing, he only succeeded in gaping however, when a door suddenly appeared on the previously solid wall.

'What the -?'

'The room of requirement I believe it is called' she grinned ' sometimes referred to the come and go room...'

'You've got to be bloody kidding me!' he gasped running his hand through his hair in exhasperation ' we've been looking for this room since first year!'

'Well now you've found it...come on!' she grabbed his arm and pulled him through the doorway.

It took him a few minutes for his eyes to process what he was seeing as he stood in the doorway of the room and it then took a further few minutes for his brain to finally function well enough to form words.

'So...does this mean...' his eyes searched hers for a moment, trying to detect whether it was some kind of sick joke. He saw no such sign, instead he saw an awkward shyness that he had never placed in Alina before,

He smiled at her and then returned his gaze to the rest of the room. There was no lantern, instead the room was alit with hundreds of floating candles, he breathed in deeply and sighed in wonder.

'Amortentia?' he breathed.

She shook her head lightly 'I asked for the scent of whatever you smelt in the potion' she told him softly.

Finally, he allowed his eyes to rest upon the king sized bed in the centre of the room.

The bed was covered with the deepest of red satin sheets, it was covered in rose petals that shimmered from red to pink and then to white over and over.

'Alina...'

He turned to her and pulled her close to him, he kissed the top of her head and in turn she took his hand in hers and led him towards the bed.

* * *

As they lay together, clothes discarded, wearing nothing but their underwear it amazed him that despite having done this many times before, he had never felt this way. His heart was pounding furiously, his breath was growing shallow as his eyes roamed over her body and his stomach was clenched tightly with a mixture of nerves and anticipation.

He kissed her gently, his eyes were black with desire and his hands were aching to relieve her from the rest of her clothing.

'Sirius...i'm scared' she whispered, her eyes, which portrayed the very essence of vulnerability, stared into his. He froze for a moment, realising the courage it must have taken her to trust him like this. He drew her to him in a cuddle and look down at her.

'I will never hurt you Alli...you know that right?'

'I know' she told him in a soft voice.

'It might hurt a little...'

'It's not my first time Sirius' she told him in an off tone voice, avoiding his gaze.

'I know...but that was a long time ago and it...'

'That wasn't the only time' she blurted out at a rapid speed.

He blinked for a moment as he registered what she had just said.

'It- it wasn't?'

'It was a - a - a family member okay?' a harder tone to her voice.

'Who? Who was it?' he demanded.

'I don't - I don't want to... If you don't want...it's okay' she stuttered, her voice beginning to shake and she blinked rapidly to prevent the tears. She cursed inwardly to herself angry that she had put herself in this position.

'Sshhh i'm so sorry Alli, I didn't mean to upset you -'

'Its okay if you don't want...me...now...'

'Don't be stupid, I love you' he kissed the tip of her nose and she smiled up at him.

He unhooked the back of her bra and she allowed him to peel it away from her body and allowed his eyes to drink in the sight, his brief moment of ecstacy, however, was broken as Alina flinched and sucked in a deep breath through her teeth.

'Alli? You all right?' he asked, silently praying that she wasn't going to change her mind.

'Yeah...yeah i'm fine..just a headache' she told him through clenched teeth, waiting for it to subside.

He cocked an eyebrow at her 'don't tell me you're gonna pull the 'headache' excuse...really?'

She laughed at his horrified expression and pulled him down towards her for a kiss.

'You're such an idiot' she laughed.

The kiss began softly, yet within seconds the mood suddenly changed. The giggly, playful mood they had been in merged into an intense silence. Their bodies pressed tightly together and their lips started moving more frantically, mimicking the way their bodies were rocking against each other.

Sirius kissed down her neck, sucking and teasing her skin as he moved with painfully slow speed towards her breasts.

The moment his warm mouth connected with her nipple, and his hands massaged them gently a low moan sounded from her throat and Sirius unconsciously groaned in response.

Her hands ran through his hair and she gently tugged, leading him back up her body and crashing her lips against his own.

The passion between them was electrical, with every touch it was as if an electric current was errupting through their bodies, making their bodies shiver with pleasure and hairs stand on end with lust. Alina closed her eyes and moaned in pure happiness, she couldn't believe that after all the years of abuse, of utter fear of sex, it could ever feel this way. She felt as if she were floating, the pleasure of Sirius' touch totally consumed her and she lost all awareness of anything other than him. She gasped and threw her head backwards as she felt his hand stroke between her legs.

'I love you' he mumbled in her ear as she began to shake in reaction to his touch. A nervous wave crashed through her as she felt him position himself above her, but as soon as she looked into his eyes, the nerves were forgotten. All she could see was Sirius. All she could feel was Sirius. And all that she ever wanted was Sirius.

In that one look it was as if everything that had happened over the last few months had been forgotten. Every painful memory and emotion did not exist. All that mattered was their love. It was a constant presence throughout everything.

'You sure?' he murmered.

'Positive' she nodded, and instantly she cried out as she felt him enter her.

It was as if her eyes were being opened for the first time, she could finally see a chink of light through all of the darkness. She allowed herself to sink into his touch and she gave in to her instincts revelling in the moment.

She could feel something building within her, a feeling of infuriating pleasure. She could feel Sirius' breath increasing with her own and his body shuddered against hers. They moaned in unision and as their eyes connected, sending a spark of utter need to one another, their bodies convolted and with a final cry they collapsed together, laying in a heap.

* * *

They stayed silent for a while. The only sound that could be heard was their heavy breathing and the thumping of their hearts. Sirius finally rolled off of her and lay on his back beside her, pulling her towards him and holding her tightly.

Neither had words to explain how they were feeling. The whirlwind of emotions that was speeding through their bodies was confusing enough for themseves and they just allowed their minds to run their course and relaxed.

'That was...' Sirius began, his words trailing off.

'It was' Alina grinned and kissed him on the cheek.

'This is good'

'What's the matter? Can't handle more than three syllables?' she teased

'Nope I can't' he replied and she laughed.

'Why can't it always be this easy' she sighed 'just being here like this, without the outside world'

'It can Alli' he told her, confused 'you've just been so...I dunno...distant? Since everything...'

'Yeah...I know it's just...I don't mean to be'

'It's difficult to deal with you sometimes...you're so hard to read' he told her, struggling to voice all the feelings he had felt since Polly's death.

'I know I am...i'm trying to open up to you...I really am...it's just hard'

'Like I said Alli...I'll never hurt you'

She smiled at him, telling him with her eyes that she believed him.

'I think we do need to talk...I don't want to ruin this moment but...well...about the Slytherins...'

Alina frowned, but nodded, she knew that this conversation was inevitable, but she still didn't know what she was going to say.

'I trust you Sirius...but do you trust me?' she asked slowly, deliberately choosing her words.

'Of course I do-'

'Are you sure? Think carefully...do you trust me?'

Sirius paused for a moment and turned to face her completely so that they were looking straight into each other's face 'Yes Alina I trust you'

'Then please trust me now. I know that you think i'm a traitor-' she lifted her hand to cut him off as he opened his mouth to disagree 'no - you do Sirius, and I don't blame you...it's just...well, complicated I guess. I know that you think they're all scum...and truthfully? Most of them are. But if there is a chance that by spending time with them and gaining their trust, like Dumbledore said, that some of them will change their minds about the path they are on then I will have helped.'

Sirius listened to her in silence and thought of his family. He thought of Bellatrix and her older sister Narcissa, they were lost causes. He thought of Snape and Avery, they were also too far along the path of Voldemort. Yet his mind wavered on his brother, Regulus, whom he had always been a role model to when they were younger and he realised that Alina could be right. He didn't have to like it but she could be right.

'Okay' he nodded in acceptance.

'Okay?'

'Just...look I get that you'll talk to them...but these meetings you go to? Can't you just stop those?'

Alina opened her mouth to tell him no. To tell him that those meetings were the most important part of her mission but as she saw the pleading look in his eye she froze. He looked so desperate, and the idea that she should make him practically beg her to stop meeting with Death Eaters seemed terrible.

'I'll stop meeting with them...I promise.' she told him and kissed him on the lips.

'Really?'

'Really' she smiled, and lay her head back on his chest. She sighed quietly in contentment and allowed herself to drift off to sleep, safely embraced in Sirius' arms.

* * *

'Alli?'

'Hmph?'

Alina felt her shoulders being gently shaken, and heard her voice being called but she was too unwilling to wake up. She was so warm, so comfortable sleeping in Sirius' arms. It was the first time in months that she had managed to sleep so deeply, without the constant nightmares attacking her. She opened her eyes blearily and sat up, immediately regretting it. She grimaced as the familiar pain shot through her skull like a bullet.

'Alli?'

'Headache' she grumbled.

'Again?'

'Yuuurpp'

'We missed dinner'

'What?! But we came here just after lunch'

'I know' he grinned 'was that not the best sleep you've ever had?'

'Yeah it was' she laughed.

Sirius climbed out of the bed and Alina's eyes widened as she once again took in his naked frame, a faint blush creeped up her neck and she almost laughed at herself for being so ridiculous. He gathered up their clothes and handed her her own.

She tried to dress subtly, not feeling comfortable enough to stand before him so exposed, and he seemed to repect this, casually turning away as she dressed. He grabbed her hands and pulled her strongly, causing her to yelp as she practically flew off of the bed.

'Come on I'm hungry!' he told her, grinning wolfishly.

'Boys and their stomachs' she shook her head and allowed him to lead her out of the room.

It was as they were making their way down the fifth floor corridor when the pain hit. It struck her like a bolt of lightening, sending her stumbling to the floor. A red hot pain seared through her mind, making her feel as if her brain was being set alight. Her vision was reduced to little more than being able to distinguish the sillhoette of Sirius beside her and she squeezed her eyes tightly shut, clutching her head in a desperate attempt to bring relief to herself.

'Allina?!'

Sirius' alarmed yell rung through her ears, but he seemed so distant. Her hearing was taking a back seat to the pain that was dominating her head.

'My HEAD!' she managed to blurt out in a strangled scream as she felt herself shaking in pain. Hot tears were leaking from her eyes as the pain was growing intollerable. She felt Sirius' arms wrap round her, she felt him lift her off of the floor and she clutched to him desperately, like a frightened animal.

'Help me...help me!' she pleaded, her voice contorted with pain.

Sirius heart was thumping in panic and he held her tightly to him as he made his way as quickly as possible to the Hospital Wing. He only managed to tear his eyes away from her terrified expression in order to find his way forward.

She clutched to him with suprising strength, but he barely registed the pain in his arms where she was clenching him tightly with her nails. His ears were focused totally on her whimpers of pain, and with complete confusion and panic, he managed somehow to stumble his way to the Hospital Wing.

As soon as he had carried her through the doors Madame Seymour descended on them.

'What happened?!' she asked Sirius urgently.

'I-I don't know...we were just - we were walking and then she - she -'

'MY HEAD'

Alina's agonized scream caused Madame Seymour to jump in alarm and her eyes widened in panic.

'Oh Alina - dear God' she breathed 'Black, go and get Dumbledore' she told him without tearing her eyes away from Alina's face.

'But - what? What's wrong with her?' he asked, tightening his grip on Alina's body as Madame Seymour made to take her from him.

'NOW, Black' she snapped, her eyes narrowed with severity.

'Okay' he told her. He kissed Alina gently on the forehead, placed her carefully onto one of the beds in the Wing and with one final glance at her over his shoulder, he turned and ran from the room.

He didn't stop for anyone or anything. Not the group of third year girls who he practically sent flying, not Remus who called out to him in confusion as he passed him outside the Library, and especially not Flich who yelled at him in anger as he stood on his cat, Mrs Nibbles' tail.  
His mind was entirely focused on Alina, and the urgency in Madame Seymour's tone. A small part of his brain, however, the smallest part at the very back, recognised that when this was over, he would rejoice on the shrill hiss that had emitted from Mrs Nibbles.

* * *

Madame Seymour's hands shook as she stroked Alina's hair, desperately trying to sooth the girl.

'Sshhh, shhh. It's going to be all right dear' she cooed, her voice being drowned out by Alina's screams of pain.

'You'll be okay' she assured her over and over, trying not to flinch at the pain in her wrist where Alina was clutching her so tightly.

'Help' she begged and gasped out for breath.

'It won't be long Alina...'

Alina's entire body convulsed and her hands flew to her head, clutching it with all her strength as she screamed one final and terrible scream of excruciating pain. And then she froze, her shoulder's visibly relaxed, and her eyes returned back into focus.  
She lay still for a few minutes, shaking and panting slightly, letting out occasional whimpers of afterwaves of the pain.

'Alina?'

'It's going...I can see you now' Alina muttered in relief 'what happene-'

'You'll need to drink this dear' Madame Seymour interrupted, handing her a vial of a thick looking orange liquid. Alina took it from her and crinkled her nose in distaste proceeding to gulp it down in one swig and shuddering at the taste.

'What the _hell _is that?!' she asked in disgust.

'_That _is what will give you your strength back' Madame Seymour replied tartily.

'So what happened to me?' she asked again.

Madame Seymour froze for a moment and slowly brought her gaze round to face Alina, 'well I - I don't exactly know how to - or what - well...you see -'

'It's okay Susan' a voice sounded from the doorway ' I believe it will be best if I answer that question for you Alina'

Alina spun round quickly from her bed to face her headmaster, and inwardly regretted such a rash action as her head protested in a wave of pain.

'Allina? You okay?' Sirius' gruff voice sounded from behind their headmaster.

'I'm fine, come in you melon' she laughed.

'Melon?' he asked, cocking one eyebrow upwards as he squeezed past Dumbledore and made his way to her bedside. She just grinned in response.

'So you're finished with the dramatics now?' he asked casually.

'Oh shut up' she told him punching him hard in the arm.

'Ahem'

They both turned round to face their headmaster, whose eyes were twinkling at them and his mouth was curved into an amused smile.

'I'm sorry to interrupt you both' he told them ' but I am afraid that I must ask Sirius something...'

'Sir?'

'Sirius, what i'm going to ask of you, I am sure will make you wish to curse me' he smiled 'however, you must know that I would not do so unless it was most important. I need to speak with Alina, privately, it is of a matter of most urgency, and I am going to have to ask you to leave us tonight.'

Dumbledore was right. For a brief second Sirius considered sending every curse that he knew at his headmaster for even making such a suggestion. Then of course, his brain kicked in.

'All right, Sir' he said, placing a kiss on Alina's cheek and squeezing her hand 'I'll see you later'

'See you'

It took a few minutes of waiting outside the Hospital Wing door before realisation suddenly kicked in. Dumbledore wasn't planning on only speaking to Alina for a few moments, he wasn't asking Sirius to come back later. He was planning on speaking with her for the rest of the evening and he was asking Sirius to come back tomorrow.  
He punched the wall and let out a yell of frustration, before turning on his heels and marching back to Gryffindor tower.

* * *

'How are you feeling?'

'All right now, it'll be completely gone in a minute'

'Biscuit?'

Alina raised her eyesbrows at her headmaster in suprise 'they're muggle biscuits!'

'One's that I have become quite fond of' he smiled at her suprise.

'So, what happened to me Sir?'

'How long have you been experiencing headaches and light headedness Alina?' Dumbledore asked her seriously.

'I don't know...they've been happening since we came back from the Easter holidays I think' she told him, trying to remember.

'Since you have been having meetings with the Slytherins?'

'I guess so, but I don't see what this has to do -'

'How comes you never mentioned them to me when I asked you every time we have spoken of the meetings, if you were feeling all right?'

'I don't - I didn't think -'

'Alina, it is essential that from now on, if you ever experiencing even a slight headache, you inform me immediately'

'Yes sir but I don't see -'

'Of course you don't, of course not, for I still need to explain, I apologise for being so vague'

Alina smiled in bemusement still completely baffled as to what her headmaster was trying to tell her.

'Alina, you must be careful to not fall into the same trap that your ancestors did. You must not grow arrogant with your powers, for although they are truly great, they do not make you invincible.' he began, eyeing her carefully. She held his gaze steadily, refusing to show any signs of what she was thinking.

_Was he right? Was this plan to get to Lucius just an example of her arrogance? No. It was not. She was strong. Strong enough to at least destroy the person that took Polly from her._

'Your mind may be powerful, but it is not any different or any larger than that of anyone else. If you consider all of the thoughts that have been running through your mind recently, not the everyday thoughts, such as what you want for breakfast or when your next date with Mr Black is' he smiled in amusement at her 'but the thoughts that have consumed your mind, the task I have set you with the Slytherins, discovering your powers, juggling your friendships with your mission and the loss of your friend.'

He paused for a moment and allowed her to consider his words before continuing.

'These thoughts alone must stretch the walls of your mind, and consider the difficulty of the thoughts and memories of other people being added to it. Not only are these memories extremely large, producing rich important information for you, but they are also extremely dark and dangerous.  
Allowing such darkness into your mind was pushing and ripping at its boundries, trying to consume it all.  
Those headaches were your mind pleading for release, begging you to stop using your powers and to rest'

'Oh'

That was all Alina could manage to say as she finally realised what Dumbledore was saying. How dangerous her powers could be.

'So I can't use my...powers?'

'The problem is Alina, you are very young and very new to your powers. You do not know them well enough and your mind is only now becoming aware of them. You have been using them as someone with a much higher experience in the matter would and your body is not ready for it.'

'I see... so what does that mean?'

'It means that you must refrain from using your powers for now, give your body and your mind a rest. Then, when you feel ready, we will start slowly exploring your powers. The information you have retreaved from the Slytherin students has been beyond important. It has saved many lives and has given us a deeper insight into Voldemort's movements. But now, I think, is time for you to step away from the task. Your safety was at risk in the first place, I do not want to play with fire, by taking even further risks on your health-'

'Sir! Wait! I forgot to tell you...Bellatrix came to see me today...they're going to mark the others at the next Hogsmeade weekend, they're going to tell us tomorrow where! I can't stop now! Don't you see we could stop this!'

Dumbledore smiled at her sadly, 'Alina, we could prevent this marking taking place, but it will only be postponed to some other time. It is terrible to think, yet it cannot be denied, those who are ready to be marked are in too far now to back out.'

'No! Please Sir, just tomorrow'

'Alina, If you can discover the place tomorrow, without using your powers, then we will do all that we can to stop the marking, but tomorrow will be your last meeting.'

'Yes sir, that's fine!' Alina sighed in relief. Perhaps she could let her anger and bitterness go, if she knew that she was giving information that could provide this final piece of information. Provide Voldemort's exact whereabouts.

'I am extremely proud of you Alina'

Alina closed her eyes and smiled at his words. It was the exact words she had strived to hear from her parents for years, and hearing them finally, from Dumbledore seemed to put her at a peace. She felt her eyes burn slightly with unshed tears and opened them to look into his eyes. The warmth and kindness that reflected from his bright blue eyes caused her smile to widen even further.

'Thank you Sir'

'That is completely fine Alina, now get some rest, you've had a tiring experience. I will speak with you tomorrow, and remember, don't spend your life pondering on bad experiences, spend it concentrating on the good ones, for they are far more important'

'Good night Sir'

**A/N: Okay so this took waaaay longer than it should have - i'm sorry! I wrote it all and then my computer crashed, and stupidly I didn't save it so was left with the first paragraph! My mind got carried away with me and what should of happened in this chapter will now happen in the next haha...but I wanted to include a little bit of happiness for Sirius and Alina, I think they deserved it :)**

**Please read and review because you know how much I love you for it!**

**Thank you :)**

**x**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28:**

'I can't believe you know how to get into the Kitchen's Pete! I've been wondering where the entrance is for years!'

Peter blushed and shrugged bashufully, absolutely thrilled at having impressed his girlfriend. His girlfriend. He kept saying the words to himself and he loved how it sounded. After nearly seven years at Hogwarts someone had finally looked past his friends and seen him, and his mind was still having difficulty processing it.

'See that's why you need the Marauders' he grinned happily at her.

'No I don't need the _Marauders_, I just need you Pete' she replied, a slightly sarasctic tone in her voice when speaking of his friends.

That was the only thing about his relationship with Elyse that annoyed him, her dislike of his friends. He had tried to talk her round, to try and get her to see what he saw, but she always seemed to have a retort. And as much as he hated to admit it, her retorts seemed to make alot of sense, he was growing more and more aggravated that the reality of her words were hitting him.

He halted to a stop as they reached the portrait of a fruit bowl. Elyse turned and raised an eyebrow at him in anticipation.

'Well?' she asked.

'Tickle the pear'

'What?'

'Just do it' he laughed at her amazed face.

The portrait flew open and Elyse' eyes goggled.

'How on earth did you figure that out?!' she asked in disbelief.

'Well, actually, it was James and Remus...'

'Remus? Where was the third muskateer?'

Peter tried to brush aside the exclusion of himself from the group but he still frowned never the less.

'Oh come on baby, you know I don't mean to be horrible...it just seems that they leave you out alot on stuff like that!'

'Come on, you hungry?' he asked, trying to ignore her comment.

'You know I am' she grinned.

* * *

'Padfoot calm down mate! Don't get your knickers in a twist!'

'I think it's a bit late for that Prongs, if we don't hurry up it looks like he'll wet himself' Remus chuckled.

'I won't wet myself, but i'll make you look like a fluffy rabbit during a full moon' Sirius grumbled.

'Oh you better watch out Moony' James laughed 'maybe we should put him on a leash, desperate to go for walkies aren't you Padfoot'

'James...' Sirius began warningly.

'Better use a muzzle as well judging by the look on his face' Remus added.

'If it was Lily' Sirius turned to James.

'Oh all right mate, come on'

'You are such a girl, Prongs' Remus shook his head 'you traitor'

'Hey! What can I say?' James held up his arms in defeat 'Evans is my weak spot!'

'Lets go!' Sirius practically yelled, throwing the cloak over all three of them.

'We are way to big for this thing' Remus told them.

'I know' James grinned patting his pocket to make sure the map was definately there.

They climbed out of the Portrait hole with extreme difficulty, causing Remus to eventually fall head first to the floor.

'That wasn't funny' he muttered to his friends, who had stuffed their fists into their mouths 'It wasn't!' he insisted.

'Right, if we go straight to the kitchens, we can get to Alina by half one' Sirius told them, marching at a pace they were struggling to keep to.

'You know they would've fed her Sirius?'

'So?'

'So we don't need enough food to feed the five thousand!' James told him.

'Shutup Prongs'

'God someone's on their period!'

At the pace they were being dragged by Sirius, it took less that ten minutes to arrive at the Kitchens.

They all fought to get through the entrance to the kitchens first and as a result ended up in a bundled heap on the floor.

'What are you lot doing here?'

They all looked up in unision to see Peter staring at them with wide eyes.

'Wormtail!' James grinned 'there you are!'

'You were looking for me?'

'Well not exactly - no' James told him climbing to his feet 'oh hello Elyse, sorry to - interrupt' he grinned.

'You're not interrupting ' she smiled and then turned to Peter 'you should have said you and your friends were doing something tonight, I would've understood Pete' she told him.

Peter looked away from her gaze, despite her apparently understanding tone, he knew what she really meant. She knew that they hadn't told Peter they were sneaking out, and the arrogant look in her eyes were enough to tell him that they were proving her right. They did leave him out.

'They never said we were doing something' he replied looking pointedly at his friends.

'Well, we weren't meant to be' Remus grumbled 'but Padfoot practically forced us to get up at wand point'

'We didn't even know you'd gone out until then!' Sirius added.

'That's likely' Elyse spoke the words so quietely that no one but Peter could hear them and he squeazed his girlfriends hand. At least she, unlike his friends, didn't ever leave him out. Didn't ever make him feel second best.

'So why did Sirius 'force' you to get up?' he asked.

'He thought Alina might be hungry' James rolled his eyes.

'So we better hurry up!' Sirius told them, moving away to place his orders with a group of eager looking house elves. Withing minutes both himself, James and Remus had their arms full with all kinds of food.

'She is never going to eat all of this'

'Well at least she's got a wide selection' Remus laughed.

'You coming Wormtail?'

'Erm-' Peter looked at Elyse to determine what his answer would be.

'You boys go on, he'll catch up in a second, I just want to say goodbye' she told them warmly.

'Ooohhh get in there Wormy!' James yelled.

'You lucky boy, you' Sirius added in jest, ruffling Peter's hair as he turned to leave.

The portrait closed behind them, and Elyse turned to Peter.

'See what I mean? They did all this for Alina, but they didn't even think twice about where you might have gone to in the middle of the night!'

Peter opened his mouth to argue but just sighed 'I know' he said and she kissed him gently on the lips and looked deeply into his eyes.

'Go on, go catch up with them, but just you keep your eyes open to the way they treat you now. Night, I love you'

'I love you too' he told her, before leaving the kitchens and catching up with his friends.

* * *

'What if Madame Seymour's there? She might catch us!' Peter said as he had finally managed to fall into step with them.

His three friends turned to stare at him, exhasperation plastered over all three of their faces.

'Sometimes, I really do think that you left your brain back in third year Wormtail - I don't know if you remember, but we happen to have this?!' James held up the map under Peter's nose, and the boy blushed profusely.

'Yeah, you remember? The map of Hogwarts? The map that's going to tell us where Madame Seymour is?' Sirius continued, speaking infuriatingly slow as if teaching a child.

'All right! I get it!' Peter snapped, and grew even more angry as Sirius and James burst into laughter at his reaction.

'There, there Wormtail' Sirius continued, speaking even slower 'you don't want to burst a blood vessel'

Even Remus snickered, and Peter clenched his fists in frustration.

'I solemely swear I am up to no good' James spoke the familiar words and carefully studied the map. His eyes straight away found the hospital wing, and searched the few dots located in that area. He frowned and tried to look more closely to make sure his eyes were not mistaken. Alina's name was not one of those present in the Hospital Wing.

He proceeded to search the rest of the map, he searched through the castle quickly, and then went on to search the area of the grounds and froze.

'Erm - Padfoot? I think you need to see this mate...'

Sirius looked over James' shoulder to where his friend was pointed and immediately let out a furious hiss, Remus just stared in shock, and Peter, who had sneaked a look under James' arm, had to bite his lips to hide the triumphant smirk that was threatening to spread over his face.

* * *

'Reg?'

'Alina!..I wasn't sure if you was going to come...are you okay? I heard about what happened, are you all right?'

Alina smiled at the clear note of worry in Reglus' voice and instantly hope welled up inside her.

'Yeah, i'm fine...it was lucky I was with Sirius...'

'Sirius?'

Just as she'd hoped, the mention of his brothers name had caused his ears to prick up and his eyes showed the hunger he had for news on his older brother.

'Yeah I was with him at the time and he carried me all the way to the Hospital Wing...he's a really good person' she emphasized the last words.

'Yeah, I know' Regulus said thoughtfully 'it's not too cold out here for you is it?'

'No, don't be silly, sometimes I come out here alone...just to think...'

'Really? You think?' he asked in mock suprise.

'Oh shutup!' she laughed and punched him lightly on the arm. 'Are you sure we're making the right decision Reg?' she asked in a more serious tone.

'Of course!' he answered - a little too quickly. Alina raised an eyebrow in question.

'What?' he asked defensively.

'It's just...I get the attraction of it all, you know I do...but when I think of some of the stuff that comes with it all. We're going to become murderers Reg. That's a _really _big price...'

'But we're only doing what's best for the wizarding race Alli' he replied softly.

'My best friend is a muggle born...how can I justify that? I've told you all about Lily...do you really think killing her would be right?'

The very thought of the words coming out of her mouth made her feel physically sick, the idea of Lily no longer existing was completely unthinkable.

'I know...I don't know if I could kill someone...'

'And Sirius won't support us will he? He'd be on the other side...could you kill him?' she asked, trying to sound more and more hysterical. It was proving not to be hard though, as the image of Regulus being sent to kill his brother was forming darkly behind her eyes.

'Of course I couldn't! I mean...it's just...I don't-' Regulus shook his head, as if trying to shake the thoughts from his mind. He let out a deep sigh.

'I don't see that we've got a choice Alli...'

'I want to show you something' she told him, glad that her words seemed to be having their desired effect. She grabbed his hand and led him towards the forest.

'Where are we going Alli?'

'Ssshhh, just wait a minute' she told him calmly as they stood at the forests edge. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, she slowly relaxed her muscles and felt a wave of serenity wash over her body.

_Sodales, come to me please _her mind formed the words and pushed them outwards, sending them with the wind.

It was something she had discovered soon after his birth, the tiny gold unicorn that had connected with her so instantly, she could connect with him in a way that she could connect with no other. She could call his name, she could call for him, and soon he would come. All she had to do was wait.

A rustling sound in the bushes told her that he was close approaching and a warm smile widened her lips.

'What's there?!' Regulus asked, alarmed.

'Reg, it's okay!' she laughed and gripped his hand tighter.

Regulus didn't reply, instead he gasped. Sodales had come out into clear view, only a few speckles of gold laced through his now silver coat and he glimmered beautifully in the light of the moon. He immediately approached Alina, nuzzling lovingly into her neck and letting out a quiet whiney of delight.

'Hello you' she murmered, carressing the creature's neck.

'Alina...how did you - how are you?'

'We're friends' she grinned 'come and stroke him, he'll let you'

'I thought Unicorns were really shy?'

'They are, but like I said Sodales is my friend' she grinned, and Regulus moved closer and gently ran his hand over the Unicorns velvet coat. A look of utter awe and amazement lit up his features and transformed his face into childlike innocence.

'You know' she began softly 'Unicorns are creatures of pure innocence, I came to say goodbye tonight...'

'Goodbye?'

'He won't come near me when i've...when _we've _killed someone'

Regulus froze, his eyes moved from the Unicorn and rested on hers, a look of utter conflict and confusion reflected from them.

'Alina...I don't think I can do it...I don't think I can get the mar-'

'Alina.'

Utter dread flooded through Alina's veins, it flooded into her lungs and she struggled to intake a gasp of air. Shock radiated from Regulus' eyes as he also recognized the voice that had sounded from behind them. In unision they turned around.

'Hello Regulus'

Sirius stood before them, James, Remus and Peter standing a few feet away, all with looks of disgust on their faces. The looks were wasted on Alina however, who couldn't draw her eyes away from Sirius' cold steely gaze and the sinister smirk on his face.

'Sirius -'

'We thought you might be hungry. We thought you'd be laying in your hospital bed, but no! You decided to go for a walk...with my brother. How...lovely.'

'Sirius it's not what you-'

Anger flashed through his eyes and Alina stopped mid sentence.

'You promised no more meetings'

'I know but this isn't -'

'NO IT'S WORSE ALLI!' he yelled, and she felt Regulus recoil beside her 'THIS WAS OURS ALINA! WE WERE TOGETHER AT THE BIRTH, THIS WAS OURS!'

Realisation dawned on Alina as she understood just how awful the situation looked. She had brought someone else, his brother, whom he had lost all connection with, to something so special, so personal between the two of them, and that made it so much worse.

'I'm so sorry!' she gasped, moving forwards towards him but he quickly stepped away from her touch.

'It's not good enough Alli.'

'Please!' she begged, fear eating away inside her ' just listen! I'll explain everything!'

'Why should I believe you? You're a liar!' he spat 'that's all you ever do! You don't care about anything else other than yourself!'

'No - no! I know i've lied but you don't understand! It's me Sirius! I love you!'

'No you don't. I don't think you even know how to love because if you did you wouldn't be out here with MY BROTHER!' Sirius roared the final words, his throat almost ripping with the strain of his vocal cordst and his face grew bright red. His hands were shaking in a mixture of anger and pain. How could she do this? How could she betray him this way? His eyes stung with the tears he refused to cry, and at that moment he felt nothing but hatred towards her.

'JUST LISTEN TO ME!' she screamed back, grabbing his wrists in desperation to stop him from walking away.

'GET OFF OF ME!' he yelled back, tearing away from her hold 'you disgust me' he hissed poisonally 'and I want _nothing _to do with you!'

The numbness.

For the first time in months she finally embraced the solice that its solitute held. Her eyes watched as he walked away from her, her ears heard his words, yet she allowed herself to feel nothing. She could sense Sodales trying to comfort her, she could hear Regulus speak shaky words, but none of it reached her.

'I have to go' she choked out, and without waiting for a reply she ran as fast as she could towards the castle.

She wouldn't allow the pain to leak in. She couldn't. She had given every good part of her to him and now it was gone. She had nothing to protect herself with anymore.

She thanked her lucky stars that Sirius wasn't in the common room as she stumbled through the Portrait hole. A tiny sob escaped her lips as she reached the girls stairs and she bit her lip to hold it in, but the numbness was quickly fading.

* * *

'We should go to bed Al...we've got so much revision to do tomorrow!'

'Oh stop being so boring Lily! You've memorised every book we have! Give us a break _pleeeaaasssssseeeee!'_

Lily laughed 'You are such a bloody drama queen!'

'Well did it work?' she grinned.

'One more game!'

Lily's mother had sent her the board game 'Operation' earlier that day, in a desperate plea for her daughter to take a break from books and Alice had become no less than addicted to it. At first she had been overwhelmed by the fact that you couldn't use your wand to play and after failing dismally her first few tries a strong competative streak had led to them still playing the game at two in the morning.

'That's what you said last time' Alice replied cheekily.

'CRASH'

Both girls yelped in alarm as their dormatry door was practically thrown open and the sound of running footsteps entered their dormatory and froze. Lily pulled out her wand and opened the curtains surrounding her bed and her eyes widened in suprise.

'Alli?' she called softly.

Her friend was standing in the doorway, a look of utter distress on her face. She was deathly white and was violently trembling. Her eyes flickered towards her and as if Lily had pulled a trigger, Alina's face completely crumpled.

'Lily' she whispered, springing forward and throwing herself into her friends arms.

'Alli, what's happened?!' Lily asked in alarm, helping her friend to the bed.

'Alina?' Alice put her arm around her friend and exchanged a worried glance with Lily as they lay either side of the trembling girl.

'We were worried about you...you're supposed to be in the Hospital Wing!'

Alina nodded, her eyes slightly unfocused.

'Alli...you're scaring us...what's the matter?' Lily tried again.

'Everything's wrong Lily' Alina muttered.

'What? Why? What's happened?!' Alice asked desperately.

'Sirius broke up with me.'

'WHAT?'

'Alice!'

'Sorry! It's just - _what?'_

'He broke up with me'

'But - why? He loves you! Everyone knows that!'

'Apart from him apparently' Alina replied stonily 'it's all my fault' she added.

'No Alli, it is not your fault! He's an idiot!'

'Lily, you don't understand it is my fault!' Alina snapped, and then froze 'sorry' she mumbled.

'How could it be your fault Alli?'

'I - I told him I wouldn't meet with the Slytherins again earlier today...and tonight, I met up with Regulus and he caught me.' she told them drearily.

'What? Alli, why would you be meeting Regulus? I mean he's Sirius' brother!'

'I know' Alina groaned.

'So why?'

Alina didn't reply, she just quitely attempted to swallow the huge lump that had formed in her throat.

'I just don't understand you sometimes Alli' Lily said softly, her voice laced with sadness 'you just seem so emotionless, I thought you loved Sirius?'

'I do!'

'Then why do you seem so cold? So cool? What about Polly? How could you act so emotionless-' Lily's voice caught at the last word and she blinked furiously.

'Lily' she began slowly, breathing deeply to try and control her emotions 'if I start crying now, I will never stop.'

'It's not healthy to keep everything in' Alice told her gently.

'But what if you have to Al! What if you have something that is continuously eating away at your mind but you can't tell anyone because you're not allowed! Because it's dangerous! What if you can see the people you love starting to resent you, starting to hate you, because you're doing something without being able to explain why? What if the person you love deserts you because you have to constantly juggle what's best for the minority over what's best for the majority! Sometimes you have no choice but to keep everything in, because their's too much danger with letting it out!'

Alice and Lily sat in a stunned silence over Alina's sudden outburst and they stared at their friend in bewilderment.

'Alli - this is us. You can tell us anything!' Lily began.

'No, no, no! Lily, you don't get it, I _can't _tell you this! It's too dangerous!'

'So that's why you fed us the 'Dumbledore wants us to intergrate with other houses ' crap?' Alice asked.

'What?!' Alina asked, astounded.

'Well this is obiouvsly something to do with you becoming best friends with the Slytherins all of a sudden.'

Alina paused. Tomorrow was her last meeting with the Slytherins, what would be the harm of telling her friends now? Not everything, but explain the basics? She needed them to know, she needed their company because she couldn't deal with any more lonliness. Not with Sirius gone.

'You know about my powers' she began slowly 'you know that Voldemort wanted to recruit me...'

Alice and Lily nodded as Alina paused, waiting for a reply before continuing.

'I can, if I use all the power I can muster, look into peoples minds. See their thoughts and memories. It's nothing too detailed, I can only see memories that are related to what they are feeling or thinking at the time, i'm not a total mind reader' she explained.

She felt relieved to see a look of understanding dawning on her friends' faces.

'So Dumbledore asked me if I would help him. If I would be willing to spy on those suspected as being Death Eaters.'

'So all this time...you've been putting yourself at risk to help fight Voldemort?' Alice asked, wide-eyed.

Alina nodded 'I met Regulus tonight to try and convince him that becoming a Death Eater was wrong...' she trailed off, the events of that night still too raw to talk about.

'So if you tell Sirius...'

'NO!' Alina yelled 'no' she added more softly.

'But why -?'

'I slept with him today...well, I guess it was yesterday now'

'Oh Alli..'

' He didn't even give me a chance to explain he just jumped to conclusions. I walked in on him getting a blowjob off of Sophie and I gave him a chance. He _knows _how much trust it took for me to sleep with him' she glanced at Lily, directing the meaning of that statement to her, for she knew she would understand 'and yet he still didn't trust me. I don't want him to know'

The two girls pulled Alina into a tight hug

'I'm glad you told us' Lily whispered.

'Me too' Alina replied.

And she was. Her entire body ached with the pain that spread from her withered heart, tears threatened to leak from her eyes at any moment and she had to concentrate to keep her breathing steady as she was constantly on the edge of hyperventilating. Yet amongst it all, a tiny flicker, much like a tiny candle in the middle of an ocean, emitted a tiny amount of warmth. It was the warmth of her best friends, who finally understand. Who were holding her tenderly to try and lessen the pain, and it worked. However minute it was, it still worked.

A loud hoot caused all three girls to jump as they had drifted off into their own thoughts and they all laughed at themselves as they stared at the school owl that was perched at the end of their bed.

'How did you get in here?' Alina mumbled.

'Oh he's been in here since this afternoon' Alice grinned 'we forgot to say. We got our letters earlier, but he's not allowed to leave until you get yours' she explained.

Alina reached out to the owl and took the letter from him. She ripped it open quickly and read.

_**Dear Alina,**_

_**I realise that this letter is not entirely necessary for you but it does, however, finally**_

_**allow us to make things official. The first meeting of those interested in joining the **_

_**Order of the Phoenix, will take place tomorrow at 6pm in my office. I understand that **_

_**you will be at your final meeting tomorrow, so I hope that you will come afterwards.**_

_**Sincerely**_

_**Albus Dumbledore.**_

_**PS: This letter will self destruct once you have read it, so do not be alarmed.**_

On cue, the letter errupted into flames as her eyes skimmed the final word and she looked up at her friends.

'So are you both going to go?'

'Of course!' Lily smiled.

'You've had your bit of action so we've got to catch up haven't we!' Alice grinned.

'Believe me Alice, it's not that glamourous' she frowned.

'Oh sorry Alli, I didn't mean that...'

'I know' she smiled 'i'm glad you both know everything now'

No one moved from Lily's bed, all three girls fell asleep, comforted by each others presence.

Alina lay awake the longest, watching as her friends slept peacefully. She had never felt so thankful for the two girls in her life. Her eyes lingered for a few seconds on the fourth bed in the room, Polly's bed and she let out a deep sigh. She cast a silencing spell on herself before falling asleep, and almost as if she had predicted it, her dreams were plagued with a mixture of Sirius, Polly and her father.

**A/N: I know I am waaaay to cruel on Alina, but sometimes things have to get worse before they get better :) so please have some patience :D  
I hope you liked this chapter! Please let me know, reviews, reviews, reviews!**

**Madhatter47 - I am going to try and keep as much to the plot as possible so unfortunately I am going to stick with James and Lily's death - I'm really sorry about that! But I'm going to do a shortish sequal, and their deaths are a part of that so I can't change it :( But what I DO want everyone's opinion on...because i'm having a bit of an inward battle over it...should Sirius die? Let me know what you all think!**

**LaurenB16 - I'm sure you want to kill me right now :) I wanted to try to figure out how to add a bit more happiness in but it was messing too much with what's going to happen - but please put up with me for a while - I'll do my best to make up for it! Poor Alina, I'm just way too cruel!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29:**

Alina opened her eyes the next morning to find a green pair looking back at her.

'You're awake. Good' Lily stated matter of factly.

'Good?' she croaked back.

'Yep. We're going to Hogsmeade; you need a Firewhiskey and some retail therapy.'

'I do?' Alina raised her eyebrows in amusement at her friend's determination 'and how pray tell, do you plan on doing that? It's not a Hogsmeade weekend….Oh!' the initial shock turned into wicked delight as the realisation of Lily's words hit home.

'We're sneaking out?' she whispered unnecessarily.

'We're sneaking out' Lily confirmed with a grin.

'Alli! Get out of bed!' Alice yelled from their bathroom 'we better get going soon!'

Alina sighed 'All right, but I have to be back early I've got to go to a _meeting'_ she told them bitterly, before jumping out of bed.

'We'll be back in time' Alice quickly reassured 'now come on!'

Half an hour later all three were ready, and admiring the speed in which they had done so, when the anxiety hit Alina.

It was like she had been punched in the stomach, and as if winding her she gasped out loud.

'What's wrong?' Alice asked in confusion.

'What if he's down there? I can't – I mean…what do I do?!' she asked frantically, her eyes darting between her two friends.

'Sshhh shhh Alli!' Lily grabbed her wrists and looked deeply into her eyes 'take a deep breath!'

Alina closed her eyes for a moment and did so.

'If he's down there…then you act civil. Don't you dare make him think he's got the better of you!'

'Come on Alli! You're the queen of pretending not to give a shi-'

'Alice!'

'Sorry Lil' Alice replied in a sing song voice and grinned at Alina.

'Yeah, yeah you're right' Alina nodded in a slightly stronger tone, she took one last deep breath and then headed down the staircase to the common room.

* * *

It seemed strange that the world hadn't changed. That the common room was just as loud and vibrant as ever. That no one had realised that the balance in her life had completely gone.

The laughter sounded harsh and loud. The talking sounded wild and frantic. And Alina felt lost. It was as if she had lost her place in this world and every step felt alien and surreal.

The warmth of a hand brought reality down on her like a whip. She smiled at Lily, showing her thanks for her support, and everything fell back into place. She was back where she had always been. She was with her friends. Her world may have lost some of its colour but that didn't mean total destruction. It meant change.

'Oh my God Alli, are you okay?!'

The sudden shout in her ear caused her to jump and she turned to find Melissa Goldfree, a fellow 7th year looking at her in concern.

'What?'

'I just couldn't believe it when I saw! I mean what an idiot! We all know what he's like…but I never thought he would do that to _you!_ You're too good for him anyway…' she trailed off 'they deserve each other' she added in disgust.

'I'm sorry but what?' Alina asked, completely confused by Mellissa's random outburst.

'You don't -?'

Melissa's eyes widened in shock, and her mouth formed a small 'o' shape. In total unawareness, her eyes drifted across the room. The three girls followed her gaze and all three froze in horror.

A thick lump formed in Alina's throat, her breath caught and her eyes burned with tears. Tears that, for once, she did not even attempt to hide. Instead she gave in to them and felt the dampness on her cheeks.

'How could he do this to me?'

Her voice broke in the middle and she turned to Lily, her eyes begging her best friend for an explanation.

Lily just shook her head, words completely failed her, because this was not something you could revise, it was not something that had an answer.

'Alli…' Alice began, but Alina held up her hand to cut her off, a small sob emitted from the back of her throat and she paused for a second to try and regain composure.

'I need to go for a walk…on my own' she managed to choke out, before turning on her heels and running out of the Portrait hole.

Alice made to go after her but Lily caught her arm.

'Leave her' she said firmly.

If Alice made a reply Lily didn't hear it. For her eyes were focused on the scene across the common room and her ears burned red with anger, as the image of Sirius Black and Sophie Steel entwined in a kiss burned into her mind.

* * *

Remus sat awkwardly beside Sirius and Sophie.

James and Peter were managing to ignore the exhibition by keeping their attention completely set on the chess game they were playing. A game that Remus was not involved in.

They did not, therefore, notice Alina's appearance in the common room. They did not see Mellissa approach her immediately. And as a result, they did not witness the scene that occurred.

The overwhelming bout of emotion that hit Alina's face when she had seen Sirius had shocked Remus. The way her face had paled, her lips had trembled and the tears had sprung to her eyes.

The sudden feeling of compassion and sympathy that he had felt for her surprised him. He tried to brush them aside, telling himself that she had done this. She was the one who had betrayed Sirius, who had betrayed them all.

But he could not help the tiny voice in his mind that kept arguing with him. The voice that reminded him that Alina had been his friend, that she had kept his secret for years, and had never demanded any answers from him. The voice that reminded him of how she hid her insecurities with a poker face, but had never done anything to cause him to truly doubt her.

And it took him much longer that normal for him to ignore that little voice as he watched her run from the common room.

Remus dared a quick glance to Sirius, he was rewarded with the mental image of some serious spit swapping between the two of them, but his eyes did not fail to catch Sirius' eyes flicker as he watched Alina run from the room.

He tried to push it all from his mind, the constant drama was giving him a headache and he just wanted to forget about it all. He sat back in his chair and allowed his mind to wonder back to the Order of the Phoenix meeting later that day. He was excited for it. Finally the chance to fight Voldemort. To fight the people that took Polly from him –

'LILY!'

James' jubilant yell broke him from his thoughts and he glanced up to find and extremely angry looking Lily standing before them.

'Come sit over here! You can watch me completely obliterate Wormy!' James grinned, seemingly completely oblivious to his girlfriend's wrath.

'Oh shut up!' she snapped at him angrily and quickly pulled out her wand.

'Sophie I suggest you get out of my way right now' she said quietly, her voice frighteningly calm.

James had been on the receiving end of that tone before and out of instinct he took a few steps away from her, flashing Sirius and Sophie a wary glance.

Sophie, it seemed, did not understand the ominous tone in her voice and instead smiled back at her spitefully.

'I'm perfectly comfortable here Lily thank you' she smirked and then turned back towards Sirius.

'Levicorpus!' Lily spat and watched in contempt as the girl jerked up into the air, upside down, flashing the entire common room her lacy knickers.

'GET ME DOWN FROM HERE EVANS!' Sophie screeched angrily, trying desperately to hold her skirt up.

'I warned you _Steel. _And don't bother trying to cover up; every boy in here has seen it all before.'

Sophie's face turned a brilliant red, which had nothing to do with the blood rushing to her head, as the entire common room exploded in laughter. Everyone was looking at Lily in amazement. Their head girl, who had never stepped a foot out of line, had just cursed someone in public, an impressed applause spread across the room.

'LILY!' James yelled in shock, but Lily heard nothing.

Her gaze had turned to Sirius, who was looking both nervous and defiant.

He couldn't protect himself, James would kill him if he even considered drawing his wand against Lily, so instead he got to his feet and held out his arms in an attempt to pacify her.

'Lily –'he began but was immediately cut off as her fist connected with his face. Hard.

He stumbled sideways, clutching his nose in disbelief. The amazement he felt at the force she had just hit him with subsided, when he felt the blood beginning to stream out of his nose.

'Wha-?' he gasped in shock.

'Shut up _Black_' she spat, the venom in her voice causing him to fall immediately silent. 'You're pathetic. How could you be so completely idiotic! She is way too good for you, you have never deserved her and you never will!'

Lily's voice had fallen to the level just over a whisper, yet it seemed even more threatening, and the four marauders stared at her in shock.

'Did you want to hurt her? Was this some sick attempt of causing her pain? Because congratulations Sirius. It worked. I hope you're happy now.'

'She was the one who lied!' he retorted, his injured pride kicking in.

'Maybe she did. But you never even bothered to ask her why' she paused for a moment and her eyes connected with his 'she trusted you Sirius. She gave you _everything._'

Her eyes lingered knowingly on his for a few seconds as her final words sunk in and she finally saw some regret in his face.

She spun around on the spot and marched away, pausing for only a moment to flick her wand and smirk in satisfaction as the sound of a loud crash, followed by an angry yell, reached her ears as Sophie fell back to the floor.

'That' Alice said, looking at her friend as if she had never seen her before 'was bloody brilliant!'

'Thank you' she smirked and they both left the room in search of their friend.

* * *

'I can't do it anymore! I just can't!' Alina sobbed.

Sodales nuzzled into her neck, trying to comfort her with his silent actions. She clung to him tightly, burying her face into his coat as they lay by the forest edge.

'It hurts' she whispered between her sobs, and the Unicorn let out a soft whinny of understanding.

He could feel her pain; she was projecting it out through her mind, allowing him to sense every painful emotion she was feeling. His amber eyes gazed at her lovingly, desperate to see a smile on her face.

She could feel his sadness, his desperation to make her happier. She couldn't here any words, she couldn't read his mind like it was a book, instead she felt him with all of her senses, as if his emotions were her own and vice versa.

'Thought we'd find you here'

Alina didn't turn around, she just stayed silent, trying to calm her tears as her two best friends sat beside her.

'I'm okay' she muttered.

'No you're not'

'I know' she admitted.

'But you will be' Alice told her brightly.

'So this is Sodales?' Lily asked softly and Alina's tears slowly faded away as she turned and smiled at her friend.

'Yeah, this is Sodales' she told her.

'He's beautiful' Alice breathed.

'I know' Alina said proudly, feeling extremely nurturing over the Unicorn. She wiped her eyes roughly with her hands and forced a grin.

'No more tears' she told them firmly 'so let's go!'

'Go?' Lily asked in confusion, whilst a happy grin was beginning to form over Alice's face,

'I thought we were going to Hogsmeade? I think you're right, I definitely need a Firewhiskey…'

'You need two firewhiskeys!' Alice cut in chirpily 'let's go!'

* * *

'What I want to know, Lily Evans, is how you know about this passage!' Alice giggled as they tried to walk silently down the dark passage.

'Well I was bound to pick up a few things when I started going out with James, Alice'

'I can't wait to go shopping! It's going to be so much better when we don't have to queue behind a million other students!' she gushed, proceeding to tell them exactly what she was going to buy.

The constant chatter was calming for Alina, it made things seem so normal, and with a pang, she realised it reminded her of the days when Polly was still with them.

If things were going to start going back to normality with her friends, if they were going to stop living with 'what ifs' and start to live for Polly, then she knew everything would be okay.

She was going to hurt, it wasn't going to ever go completely away, but as long as she had her friends she would be happy.

It took them twenty minutes to reach Hogsmeade and get to the Three Broomsticks.

Alina marched straight up to the bar 'Three firewhiskeys please….and what are you two having?' she grinned.

* * *

'I mean who the hell does she think she is? Just because she's jealous of me! She thinks she is so perfect –'

'Sophie' James growled 'If you say one more word about my girlfriend you'll spend the rest of the day upside down…and I'll make sure no one helps you'

She narrowed her eyes, throwing the dirtiest look she could muster at James, but didn't dare to say anything. His tone was way too menacing for her to take lightly, and she knew for a fact that if he told no one to help her – they wouldn't.

'Why don't me and you go somewhere a little more quiet' she purred seductively at Sirius, running her hand further and further up his leg.

'No where's quiet when you're there Sophie' Sirius told her in a bored tone and Peter let out a loud squeal of laughter.

The insult, however, went straight over her head and she carried on persisting.

'We could go and have a little bit of fun babe' she giggled and lent in closer 'we all know how frigid Alina is, why don't you come and try out a woman.'

'Oh get off of me Sophie!' he snapped loudly, standing up and therefore sending her to the floor with a loud thump. Those near by chuckled at her outraged cry, and turned to watch the scene unfold. Sophie climbed straight back to her feet and clenched her fists.

'What the hell is wrong with you?!' she whinged, stamping her foot on the floor like a spoilt child.

'Nothing, I'm just bored of you' he told her casually, raising an eyebrow at her childish behaviour.

'What do you mean bored of me? We haven't even started anything! I haven't had a bloody chance because you've been stuck with that stupid bitch for the last God knows how many months!' she shouted at him, her voice growing gradually shriller with each word.

Sirius' eyes suddenly switched from bored and careless to angry.

'Don't talk about her like that' he snapped 'you've served your use now get lost.'

The common room had fallen silent and everyone eagerly waited for Sophie's response.

'You've had your chance Sirius, so don't you come crawling back!' she shouted in frustration and turned on her heel and stomped away.

'You couldn't pay me to!' he yelled after her and then turned back to his friends.

He grinned wolfishly at James and they both burst into loud barks of laughter, Peter quickly joining in, laughing extra loudly as if trying to get Sirius to notice him. Remus stayed silent and watched his friend thoughtfully.

'Cheer up Moony!' James laughed.

'What's the matter with you?!' Sirius grinned.

'That was cruel' Remus told him and Sirius' face immediately dropped and his brow furrowed.

'What do you mean?'

'You did what you wanted, you hurt Alina, but why did you need to embarrass Sophie?' he asked quietly.

'Did you not hear what she was saying? About Lily? About Alina?'

'About Alina?' Remus asked, cocking one eyebrow up.

'Well – yeah – you know what I mean….'

'You were the one that reduced Alina to tears. Where was the need to upset two girls?'

Sirius didn't reply, he just sat still, staring at the floor.

'So you're on Alina's side?' he asked stonily.

'Don't be stupid!' Remus told him angrily 'you think this is about Alina? She betrayed everyone! She betrayed Polly's memory!' he snapped, his eyes flashing.

'This is about you hurting, and taking it out on the wrong people!'

'You're right' Sirius sighed 'we need to do something to get my mind off of it…'

'Are you thinking Firewhiskey?!' Peter asked in an excited whisper.

'And quidditch!' James grinned.

Remus smiled in good humour 'Let's go then!'

* * *

'Why couldn't we just have stayed for a little bit longer? It was really good!' Alice moaned as they made their way through the passage.

'Because I have to go to the meeting' Alina told her quietly.

'You are coming to the Order meeting still though, aren't you?'

'Of course I am! I'm just going to be a bit late, it's my last meeting'

'Thank god!' Lily added, it worried her that Alina was putting herself in such a dangerous position.

'And then I've got the Order meetings to look forward to, I can't wait! I wonder who else will be asked to go…'

'Frank was!' Alice told them brightly 'I'm glad we're both in it together!'

The afternoon at Hogsmeade had done wonders for Alina's mood. She felt much brighter and more optimistic. How bad could one more meeting be? Soon it would be over, and hopefully, when she had learned the location of where the marking was going to take place; she would be able to stop it. She couldn't bear to think about Regulus getting the mark.

'How are you feeling now, Alli?' Alice asked.

'Much better' she told them truthfully, trying to ignore the aching of the gaping hole she had in her heart 'but I don't know what I would've done without you two' she smiled.

'Right we've got to be quiet now' Lily whispered as they reached the passage entrance.

'What if we open it and McGonagall's standing outside?!' Alice asked in a hushed voice, giggling nervously.

'Oh god, don't say that!' Lily said, looking stricken 'we'll just open it a crack so we can peek out, and then we'll go…'

Lily slowly reach out to open the passage door, when it was yanked open by someone from the other side.

'SHIT!' Lily yelled in shock.

'Oh my GOD! Lily just swore! Did you hear that?!' Alice asked Alina in disbelief.

A smile of amusement played on Alina's lips at Alice's words, before she realised who it was that opened the passage way.

The three girls stared dumbfounded at the four Marauders.

'Where the hell have you been?!' James asked in surprise 'and hang on a minute did you just swear?!' he turned to Alina briefly before remembering the present situation, he threw her a cold glare and then turned to Alice 'did she just swear?!'

'Yes! I couldn't believe it either!' she told him, shaking her head in amazement.

Alina reached forward and grabbed Alice's hand.

She had tried to avoid Sirius' gaze, she was trying to pretend he wasn't there, but she could feel his presence. From the thumping of her heard, to the shortage of breath and she needed a hand to squeeze in support.

'Well if you'll excuse us we have somewhere to be' Alice told them hurriedly and pulled Alina's hand to try and lead her quickly past them.

'Hold on a minute!' James announced, blocking their exit with his arm 'where've you got to be?' he asked.

'Erm – well…er…' Alice and Lily looked at each other in desperation, trying to think of a story.

Alina lifted her gaze from the floor, and felt angry as she acknowledged the four cold glares she was receiving.

'I'm going to go and meet the Slytherins, I just figured since I'm apparently a Death Eater and all, I might aswel see if I can move to their house. I'm sure you'd all love that' she told them coldly 'now if you'd like to get out of my way…'

She kept her gaze just above their heads, refusing to make eye contact.

'Well you go and do that then Alina, you'll be doing us all a favour' James told her coldly.

'Shut up James!' Lily snapped.

'Why should I? She's the one who's lied to everyone'

'What as opposed to Remus?' Lily asked.

'That's different!' Sirius cut in.

'How the hell do you know?! You have no idea what's going on!' Alice spat at him 'now get out of the way and leave us the hell alone!'

They barged past them and stomped down the corridor. Sirius turned and watched them walk away; he frowned in confusion as doubt leaked into his mind.

_What was really going on?_

'Are you nervous?' Alice whispered.

'A little bit, but it'll be fine, it always is…I'll see you at the Order Meeting okay?'

'See you soon Alli'

As she walked down the corridor and headed towards the dungeon the familiar feeling of dread consumed her. Her legs felt like lead and she had to strain every muscle in her body to get them to cooperate with her.

_This is the last one. The last one._

She repeated the words over and over in her mind and with one last deep breath she entered the dungeon room.

**a/n: Thank you for all of your reviews I really do appreciate them! I'm glad you're all enjoying it so far! Most of this chapter wasn't supposed to exist lol, but I wanted to show the rebuilding of the friendship between the girls, so i'm going to put what was SUPPOSED to be in this chapter as the next one - I ****always get carried away!**

**Mysteryapple99 -Thank you for putting me on your favourites! I really appreciate it, and thank you for the review!**

**As for a certain clear up I need to do:**

**Madhatter47, and laurenb16...  
I just realised that i've been unclear, later on in the story i'm either going to jump ahead years OR write a sequal (the sequals the most likely option) and I want to know if I should keep to canon and write in Sirius' death as it is in the book...or keep him alive, because that would make a big change?  
Let me know because my mind's telling me to keep to the story...but my heart is BEGGING to let him live?**

**Thanks xxx**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30:**

The first thing Alina heard as she entered the dungeon was Regulus' worried yell.

'ALLI! Is everything all right?! What happened with Sirius?'

'Shhh Reg, lets not tell everyone my business okay?' she asked softly.

'Oh, right. Sorry' he blushed, realising that every Slytherin in the room had turned to see what the commotion was about. Alina quickly scanned the room; there was no sign of Snape, Black or Avery.

'Me and Sirius…we broke up'

'What? I'm so sorry Alli! I shouldn't have asked you to meet me –'

'No, don't blame yourself Reg. It's not your fault! It's fine…it's for the best…'

'Are you all right?' he asked, his eyes full of concern.

'I'm just nervous now…'

'Me to!' he whispered 'I wasn't sure if you were going to come at first…actually I wasn't sure if I was going to come…' he told her, his voice barely audible.

'So why did you?' she asked hurriedly, a flicker of hope igniting from within her.

'Because this is the right thing! We need to fight for a purer race! I mean if you look at the Hufflepuffs…they're never going to succeed in life! If we don't fight for the Dark Lord then soon we will be run by complete fools!'

Alina blinked in surprise at Regulus' outburst and the bubble of hope that had risen within her suddenly popped.

'My family have been powerful for years. We have kept our blood pure and that's why we are renowned for having outstanding wizards and witches…and they know the Dark Lord is right. Sirius tried to fight it…he tried to go against the truth and look at him now! He's just thrown away the best thing he's ever had!'

Regulus' face suddenly went extremely pink and he bowed his head, signalling the end of his speech.

'I – erm- I see you've given this a lot of thought…'

'I was up all night thinking about it –'

'And you're sure? You're sure this is what you want Regulus?'

'Of course!' he said indignantly 'aren't you?'

'No regrets?'

Regulus paused for a moment, his gaze wavered from Alina's and he couldn't quite meet her eyes as he replied.

'No regrets' he told her firmly.

'Well isn't this quite the turn out!'

Bellatrix's cold voice caused everyone to jump and turn to face the doorway. It seemed that Alina wasn't alone in not noticing their entrance.

'But it seems that not everyone is here?' she spoke softly, directing her question at one of the 6th year Slytherins.

'Oldfield…he…he changed his mind!'

'He did, did he?'

The malicious smirk that toyed with Bellatrix's lips caused the boy to shudder.

'He will regret doing so' she laughed a cold chilling laugh that seemed to intensify the silence in the room.

'And what do you think Kennedy?' Avery cut in, looking directly at the boy 'do you think he should be punished?'

The boy paused for a moment and then met Avery's stare.

'Yes, I think anyone who would turn his back on the Dark Lord should live only to regret doing so'

The three Death Eaters chuckled at the response.

'Well, I'm sure the Dark Lord could arrange you to be the one to take out the punishment…Kennedy' Snape smirked.

'Y-Yes'

Snape, Avery and Bellatrix stood at the foot of the room, their eyes roaming across the faces of those in front of them.

'Black' Bellatrix called and Regulus looked up.

'Come forward cousin' she told him, and Regulus, taking one last glance at Alina, obliged.

'Yes Bella?'

'What are you prepared to do for the Dark Lord?' she asked, her eyes burning into his.

'I'd do anything for the Dark Lord-'

'Would you die for the Dark Lord?'

'Yes-'

'Would you give up his secrets?' Snape cut in.

'Never!'

'What if you were under torture?'

'The pain would be a blessing' he responded, his voice growing louder.

'A blessing?' Avery asked.

'It would allow me to prove my loyalty'

'Excellent' Bellatrix laughed 'much better than your brother!'

'Speaking of your brother – Blake!'

Alina jerked her head up in alarm. She had been staring at the floor, trying to block out the scene before her as if it were a scary scene from a film.

'Yes?' she asked curtly, finding it difficult to control her tone.

'Come forward' Snape snapped.

She stepped forward. She could feel the gaze of the entire room on her back as she stood before them.

'Yes?' she asked, raising one eyebrow, she silently rejoiced at the hiss of annoyance that came from Bellatrix as a result of her coolness.

'Insolence' she muttered angrily.

'You're a Gryffindor. You are friends with _Mudbloods._' Avery hissed.

'And so was Snape, if I remember correctly?' she retorted, glaring at the greasy haired boy before her.

'Snape learnt his mistake!' Bellatrix barked at her 'he learnt not to associate with filthy half-breeds!'

'And so have I! I do not want to associate with those inferior to me! With those who hero-worship _Dumbledore!_' she spat back.

'And yet you do! Sirius Black turned his back on his family's views. On the Dark Lord's views-'

'And I no longer associate with Sirius Black! He is foolish! He has turned his back on power and success and is now set to fall under the Dark Lord's hand! It is his choice. And this is mine!' she almost yelled, hating herself a little more with each word she spoke.

'Tell me Blake. Would you kill for the Dark Lord?'

'Yes'

'Would you destroy an entire village of Muggles?'

'I would crush them as if they were ants'

'Do you hate Muggles Blake?'

'With every fibre of my body'

The questions were sickening, and her replies were even worse. A thick lump of bile was forming at the back of her throat, making it difficult to force out each venomous reply.

'But aren't you _half blood'_ Avery sneered.

'And so is Snape! If you are referring to my father I can assure you I could quite happily watch him die!' she shouted angrily.

It was not the shock of her words that made her feel ill; it was the realisation that she had not been lying. The truth in her words brought home the extent of her hatred for her father. Could she really watch him die? Could she be so cruel? Perhaps she could, and that thought scared her.

'Very well Blake' Snape told her coolly.

* * *

'Lily! I didn't know you were coming!' James said in surprise, as he entered Dumbledore's office.

The room was full of familiar faces, many from Gryffindor such as Gideon and Fabian Prewett and Marlene McKinnon aswel as faces from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Remus nodded a greeting to Frank Longbottom and Benjy Fenwick, he stood near Alice and Lily.

'Well I couldn't tell you could I? Dumbledore said so!'

'I know, but I'm glad you're here' he told her, throwing his arm around her shoulder and kissing her on the head.

The anger that she had resolved herself to, immediately faltered, and a playful smile formed on her lips as she stood on tip toe to gently kiss him.

'Let's never fight again Lily!' he shouted dramatically, and out of nowhere he pulled her into a bone crushing hug which caused her to yelled out in surprise and beat her fists on his back in an attempt of escape.

A few people nearby chuckled, including Remus and Peter, but Sirius stayed unusually silent.

'Is it…just – erm – the two of you that are here…for the meeting?' he asked carefully, trying to dart around his actual question.

'If you want to ask if Alina's coming then just ask Sirius' Alice snapped.

Sirius fell silent for a second 'well – is she?' he asked.

'That's not really any of your business Black' Lily told him coldly before looking away.

'Lily…' Sirius began.

'Don't talk to me' she told him, not bothering to turn around.

'Don't be like that Lily' Remus told her softly 'anyway, it was a ridiculous question, we all know where she is and it's about as far away from Dumbledore's office as possible' he added resentfully.

'Oh go howl at a moon Remus' Alice snapped.

Everyone looked at her in surprise, it was highly unusual for Alice to lose her temper, she was always so bubbly and happy. This fact seemed to intensify the spite behind her words.

James and Sirius opened there mouths angrily to retort, but it was at that moment that Dumbledore made his entrance, causing the room to fall silent.

'Welcome!' he told them brightly 'to the first meeting of the Order of the Phoenix.'

* * *

One by one each person present had been brought forward and held under their intense questioning. Some had stuttered, and faltered, yet they had all eventually answered the same question.

They all wanted to become Death Eaters.

'From this moment on, there is no going back' Snape told them 'you cannot change your mind. Your future is set.'

'Your names have been given to the Dark Lord. You are soon to be marked as a true follower.'

Alina quickly looked at Regulus and her heart sank. His eyes sparkled as he watched the older Death Eaters, a look of utter admiration clouded his features and she felt utterly helpless. There was nothing else she could do. She could no longer change the path Regulus would go on. It was over.

It was that split second that she let her guard down and she almost yelped in surprise at the digging sensation at her mind. The familiar feeling of someone trying to enter her mind, to learn her thoughts, her memories, completely caught her off guard. Her eyes flickered quickly to Snape, and in alarm she saw his black eyes staring unwaveringly at her. His face set in utter concentration as he tried in vain to gain access to her mind.

It made her angry. How dare he try and manipulate her? Try to dominate her? She waited for a split second, enjoying the false hope that she was giving him, before she smirked smarmily at him and with the briefest flick of her mind, she threw up her shields and watched as he scowled angrily at being forcefully thrown out.

He had lost his footing slightly at the force she had thrown him away, and it took him a second before he was steady. She waited for him to look back up at her before she grinned at him and then smiled sarcastically.

_Serves him right, the greasy bastard._

Bellatrix, completely unaware of what had taken place, flicked her wand and a pillar of green light appeared before them.

'You will each step one at a time into the pillar and say your name.'

'Why?' Alina asked.

'Why?! How dare you question me?'

'Well I want to know why!' she argued back, refusing to step down.

'Calm down Bella' Avery sighed 'it will cast the tongue-tie charm on you so that no one can reveal the location of the Marking before it takes place' he told her hurriedly.

'Oh okay' she replied, trying to ignore the knot of angry disappointment in her stomach.

They all formed a line, and person after person, they recited their name into the pillar of light. Alina watched in defeat as Regulus announced his name, before she stepped forward and mimicked his actions.

How was she going to tell Dumbledore the location? How was she going to stop the Marking? How was she going to save Regulus?

She tried to ignore the voice in her mind that answered all of her questions, but she knew that it was right.

She wasn't.

'At the Hogsmeade trip you will all go with your usual groups. You _will not_ draw attention to yourselves' Snape told them firmly.

'At half past two you will make your way up towards the shrieking shack. When you reach it you will carry on walking and eventually you will come to a cave. It is there that the marking will take place. It is there that you will meet the Dark Lord.'

No one made a sound. It was as if the whole world was holding its breath.

'We shall see you next Saturday' Avery smirked.

Everyone realised that this was their dismissal and quickly got to their feet. The sound of movement created a cacophony of noise that contrasted greatly with the previous silence.

Alina felt as if a blade of ice was slicing through her stomach, her throat was constricted and she couldn't form any words. Instead she grasped Regulus' hand suddenly and tightly. She squeezed her eyes shut and she begged him to understand that she didn't want him to do this. He squeezed back tightly and she opened her eyes to meet his. With maddening regret she saw no change. She saw no realisation. She just saw excitement.

'Blake!' Snape's silky voice made her freeze in surprise.

'Yes?' she asked coolly.

'I want to speak with you.' He told her pointedly, and his eyes roamed over to Regulus 'Alone.' He added.

Alina nodded 'I'll see you later Reg' she muttered, and made her way back into the room with Snape, her stomach clenching with nerves.

It was a few minutes before the last person left the room and the door swung shut leaving total silence.

'I don't trust you Blake' Snape told her immediately.

'Thanks' she smirked 'I'll bear that in mind' she turned to leave but froze as she once again felt the pressure on her mind.

With a pang of annoyance she threw him away from her, and turned back to him, taking pleasure in watching him stumble backwards.

'What do you want from me Snivillus' she hissed.

'What are you hiding Blake? Let me see what's going on in that mind of yours'

'What right do you have?!' she shouted.

'I don't believe that you're on our side Blake, what are you trying to hide from the Dark Lord? TELL ME!' he shouted, his face contorting in a hideous way.

'I am hiding nothing from the Dark Lord. If he chooses to look into his mind he shall, but I do not answer to you!' she told him.

The moment she saw his hand twitch, she reached for her wand, but the startling speed that he had drawn his surprised her and she was immediately disarmed.

She swallowed down the cloud of fear that threatened to emerge, and instead forced out a quiet chuckle.

'You really think I need that wand Snape?' she taunted and then brought her voice down to a whisper 'haven't you wondered why the Dark Lord wants me so much?'

She grinned in triumph as she saw a flicker of fear in Snape's eyes, but it disappeared quickly and turned to spite.

'CRUCIO!' he yelled.

If she had expected anything, it wasn't this. She had no time to even process a way to defend herself, for rational thinking evaporated and was replaced by total agony.

It was as if every miniscule atom in her body was being ripped into shreds and burnt. She wanted to tear her own skin from her bones. She wanted to rip the hair from her head and gauge her eyes from their sockets. Anything to rid herself from this pain. She was going to die. This was it.

And then it was gone. She felt as if she had left her body in a moment of utter unreality. It took a split second for her to realise where she was. On the floor of a dungeon, with Severus Snape towering above her.

She felt him once again try and push into her mind, she threw him back more forcefully, hearing him let out an 'oof' as the wind was knocked out of him.

'Sectumsumpra!'

This time she had been ready. She quickly dived to the left, trying to avoid the impact of the curse. Whilst avoiding the worst of it, she felt it graze her cheek, slicing a thin gash down the side of her face.

Anger overwhelmed her. It pulsated through her veins with every beat of her heart. She felt her fingers and toes beginning to tingle with a mixture of adrenaline and power and her mind felt wide and free. She discarded her thoughts, her rational thinking and she allowed her instincts to dominate her. To control her.

She did not know why she did it, or even how she knew it could be done. It was as if her mind were instructing her like a teacher and she was merely submising to its instructions.

She thought back to every second of pain she had experienced under the Cruciatus curse, she thought of the burning, of the tearing of the breaking of her mind from her body. She drew the memory close to her chest, as if compacting it together tightly and with one final deep breath she pushed the memory away from her.

She hurtled it from her body, through the connection she had forced into Snape's mind, and she watched as it submerged into his body.

The reaction was instant. He dropped to the floor with a blood curdling scream, and he twitched uncontrollably pulling on his hair in desperation.

It was less than a couple of seconds before Alina pulled her mind away from his and ended the connection.

She had been angry, she was glad that he had experienced what he had done to her, but she could not find it in her heart to enjoy the cruelty. In fact it had disgusted her, she could not stand the total pain he was experiencing at her hand and she couldn't bring herself to carry on.

'Don't mess with me Snape. You have no idea why the Dark Lord needs me…that was nothing' she warned 'now stay away from me' she told him and picked up her wand, before storming out of the room. She did not stop until she was well away from the Dungeons and half way towards Dumbledore's study.

She lent her head against the stone wall, its coldness felt amazing against her feverish head and she sighed in relief. He hands were still trembling and her knees felt weak after the pain she had experienced.

She took three final deep breaths before pointing her wand to her face 'Scourgify' she mumbled and immediately the blood that had been running down her face disappeared.

'That'll have to do' she muttered under her breath as she looked at her watch, and made her way to Dumbledore's office at a run.

* * *

She was half an hour late and she was nervous.

She knew that everyone in there would think of her as a traitor, and not for the first time that day, she found herself thanking her lucky stars for Alice and Lily.

It was the comforting thought of their smiling faces that allowed her to draw enough courage to knock on the door.

'Come in'

The sound of Dumbledore's voice caused her to pause for a second; she envisioned every head in the room staring at the door, waiting to see who was disrupting their meeting.

She groaned quietly to herself.

_How the hell did she always end up in this kind of position?_

With a deep breath she pushed the door open, and as expected, was met with the astonished looks of a mixture of Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuffs. For a brief second she allowed herself to enjoy the fact that no Slytherins were present, but that moment was extremely brief, as Remus' outraged voice disrupted the thought.

'What are _you _doing here?' he asked her spitefully, his eyes darkening as they narrowed towards her.

'I – erm –'

'She was probably sent by Voldemort!' Sirius added, curling his lip at her in disgust.

The burning behind her eyes caught her completely off guard and she had no time to prevent her eyes from filling up with water.

The complete hatred that filled Sirius' voice was beyond painful, and on top of the looks of hatred she was receiving from her old friends made it intolerable.

Her eyes darted around the room like a deer in headlights. She did not see the well aimed elbow that Lily connected with Sirius' side, or the supportive smile Alice was beaming at her.

She just felt lost.

'I – I'm sorry!' she said in a small voice, not being able to stop it from cracking. She hated how weak she felt. She thought back to her ability of hiding her emotions, of keeping them in, and silently cursed herself for allowing this to happen.

'I – I'll go-'she turned to leave.

'No'

Dumbledore's voice was quiet yet firm. Alina froze in her steps and turned to her Headmaster.

'Please sit down Alina'

His eyes shone with sympathetic understanding, they reassured her and calmed her.

'Okay' she replied softly and quickly did so.

She ignored the loud scoff that emitted from Sirius' throat and the outraged comments put forward to Dumbledore.

'She – she's on his side Professor! She always meets with them, I've seen it all!' Peter squeaked, looking at Sirius for gratitude, and looking disappointed at receiving none.

'She meets with them at night! She's a Death Eater! She's not one of us anymore!' James added.

'Shut up James!' Lily yelled 'you have no idea what you're talking about so don't try and get involved!' she snapped, yanking her hand away from his and glaring at him in disgust.

'She's a monster' Remus spat 'she's going to become one of them and she's going to use these meetings to pick us off one by ONE!' Remus yelled.

Alina looked up at him in alarm and felt her entire body begin to shake uncontrollably but she would not allow them the satisfaction for any more tears.

She held his gaze, staring deeply into his eyes 'Is that really what you think of me Remus?' she asked gently.

Remus opened his mouth to reply but faltered. No words came out as he looked at her properly for the first time in months. He registered the complete honesty in her eyes and he frowned in confusion.

'Of course he does! You're a liar! A liar!' Peter accused loudly.

'Enough!'

He did not raise his voice. He did not even stand up. But the flash of anger in his eyes and the cold tone of his voice, reminded every student in that room why he was the only wizard that Voldemort had ever feared.

Everyone fell silent as they watched their usually vibrant headmaster examine them all in a truly scrutinising way. Each felt as if he were looking deeply into their souls. They couldn't hide anything from him and he utterly terrified them.

He eventually turned to Alina, and his gaze immediately softened.

'Do you have something to report to me Alina?'

'Yes sir' she told him quietly 'but it's not good news'

He nodded, signalling for her to continue.

'Here?' she asked in surprise.

'I believe that now it is over telling them can do no harm' he assured her.

'I'm under the tongue tie jinx! I know where it will be but I can't say!' she blurted angrily 'it's going to be next – next –'she tried in vain to force her lips to form the words but it was no use.

'Don't worry Alina' Dumbledore told her softly 'It's okay'

'No it's not!' she cried, her eyes burning with furious tears 'we can't stop it! We _have _to stop it!'

Dumbledore shook his head sadly 'I know this is hard Alina, but even of we did prevent the marking, it would only happen at a different time. You would have no other opportunity to stop it again. It would have been futile'

'No! It would have helped!' she insisted desperately.

'I know you are disappointed Alina, but you have saved many lives and have tried your hardest to save another' he looked at her hard, and she immediately knew that he understood about Regulus 'it is not fair. It is cruel the way life sometimes works out, but you must remember that people make their own decisions. You cannot control everything' he reminded her.

She sighed in defeat 'I know.'

Dumbledore turned to the rest of the students and smiled softly to relax them from their tense, and extremely confused, states.

'I can see that you are all completely bewildered by my exchange with Alina here, but don't fret, I will explain everything' he paused, and peered deliberately over his half moon spectacles at Sirius, Remus and Peter.

'Alina is extremely gifted. She descends from an ancient people called the Vadima. In other words 'the knowing ones.' Although I am sure you are all extremely intrigued I will explain what this means briefly. It means that Alina, like her ancestors, has an uncanny ability at keeping people out of her mind, and an equally powerful ability at getting inside other peoples minds. This is something that Voldemort sees as essential to have on his side, and he therefore has tried on numerous occasions, to recruit her.'

Everyone sat in stunned silence, Sirius and Remus looked from Dumbledore to Alina in confusion, trying to determine what was going on.

'I asked something very serious of Alina. Something that would put her life at constant risk. That would make her life difficult with those who she loves and cares for' he paused and looked at Sirius 'but that would save countless lives and provide us with priceless information on Voldemort's movements. Alina was to get close to the Slytherins, make them believe that she wanted to follow the Dark Lord, and therefore become a spy for the Order.'

_'What?_' Sirius gasped in little more than a whisper.

'She has saved many lives of those who were to become victims of Death Eater attacks, and as a result has suffered both physical and mental repercussions. I hope that you can now see that Alina Blake has given more than anyone could ask to the battle against Voldemort, and rather than doubt those who you love, next time, perhaps you should trust them.'

After arranging the time and date of the next meeting, Dumbledore called it to a close. Linking arms with Lily and Alice, Alina fled from the room as quickly as possible.

They moved quickly down the corridor, barging past everyone in an attempt to escape the inevitable. But they were not quick enough.

Alina could still hear Sirius desperately shouting her name as he struggled to catch up with her.

ALINA!' he yelled, finally catching up with her just outside of the portrait hole. He stood for a moment struggling to catch his breath.

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'Why couldn't you trust me?' she shot back.

'Because – well – Regulus…'

'I was trying to SAVE YOUR BROTHER!' she yelled at him and turned away to try and make an escape. The escape was unsuccessful, he caught her arm and spun her round roughly to face him, pulling her closer, his eyes widening.

'What do you mea-'he froze 'what happened to your face?!' he asked in alarm. Unconsciously his fingers ran down her cheek in the outline of the cut and she automatically flinched away from him.

Having not noticed the cut already Alice and Lily immediately looked at her in concern, and she looked at Sirius furiously.

'That is none of your business' she spat at him.

'I'm _so sorry_' he told her desperately, grabbing her hand. Struggling she fought to tear her hand away from his and she looked at him in frustration, her eyes connecting with his.

She had not been expecting to see the tears, the way his eyes glistened with unshed water and she felt her eyes well up once again.

'You want to know what happened Sirius?' she asked him, her voice trembling with emotion 'Snape put the Cruciatus curse on me' a tear leaked from her eyes, opening a floodgate to all the others.

'WHAT?!' he yelled.

'And do you know what else?' she told him, her voice shaking uncontrollably with the tears running down her cheeks.

'What? Tell me! I swear I'll kill him!'

'Are you really that much of a hypocrite Sirius?!'

'What?'

'You really want to attack him for hurting me?' she gasped, a sob escaping from her throat.

'Of course I do Alli!' he told her gruffly, his eyes shining with torment.

'The pain of that curse…of the Cruciatus curse? That was nothing. _Nothing_. Compared to the pain you have caused me.' She sobbed and began backing away.

'Alina, I'm so sorry! Please! Please forgive me!' Alina could see the tears leaking from his eyes and hated herself for wanting to comfort him. For wanting to wipe them away. She had never seen him so open, so hurt, but she knew she couldn't. He would never have the chance to hurt her again.

'Go and find Sophie, I'm sure she's wondering where you are' she managed to force out and she ran through the portrait hole, followed closely by Alice.

Lily hung back for a second, and looked at Sirius' weakened form.

'Why did you have to do this Sirius?' she asked him softly.

'I'm so sorry! I love her so much Lily. She's everything to me…'

'I know' Lily told him and gave him a quick hug before turning away and following her friends.

**A/N: Well, I loved your reviews so much I just HAD to write the next chapter for you :)**

**Thank you for all your responses it's really helped and I've already got most of the sequal running around in my head :D  
I really appreciate all your feedback so please keep it going!**

**And to all you regular reviewers thank you thank you thank you for being to fuel to keep me going!xxx**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31:**

'It is now that you have to be most careful, Alina' Dumbledore told her seriously.

It was early on Sunday morning and she was sitting in Dumbledore's office, having been woken by an extremely insistent Fawkes.  
'I know Sir, but I know Snap – Severus, is suspicious of me...he's going to be watching my every move and when I don't turn up at H-' she cut off, silently cursing the tongue-tie jinx that was preventing her from speaking of the location.

'Well then, it is lucky that you're going to be busy with exams all week isn't it' he said with a twinkle in his eye.

'Oh it's fantastic' she remarked sarcastically, grimacing at the amount of last minute revision she was going to have to cram in before each of her NEWTS.  
'You do not have to tell me that the marking is during Hogsmeade Alina' Dumbledore noted quietly, casually taking a sip of his tea.  
'How did you-?'  
'I have an uncanny ability to guess correctly' he smiled 'but it does leave complications..hmm...yes' he added thoughtfully.  
'Should I stay at Hogwar-?'  
'Definitely not' he shook his head, and paused for a moment in thought.  
Alina watched him anxiously, biting her lip with anticipation for his answer.  
'I think you should go. Staying here would cause immediate suspicion, going with a group of friends would not only make it difficult for them to corner you but would erase suspicion until it is too late'  
'Sir...could you not speak with-'  
'I am afraid, Alina, that Regulus Black has lived too long in a submissive state. Unlike Sirius he is not an extravert and has therefore allowed his family's and his peer's beliefs become his own. I wish I could prevent him from taking the path that he is choosing to take, but it is a decision he had to make from his very first day at Hogwarts.'  
'From the sorting ceremony?'  
'Indeed...' he looked sad for a moment. Perhaps he saw what she had seen in him, the defenceless child that begged for someone to rescue him, and she knew that he was right. Regulus was already too far in. She couldn't save him – no one could.'  
'I know I've told you this before but I am very proud of you Alina'  
'Thank you, Sir' she replied, getting to her feet to leave.  
'And Alina?' he called, causing her to turn back towards him at the doorway.  
'Yes sir?'  
'Good luck in your exams' he smiled.

* * *

'Can't we just have a tiiiiiiiiny break?' Alice begged, looking desperately at Lily.  
'Alice, we _have_ to revise! History of Magic is in two hours!' Lily replied, frantically flicking through an extremely large text book.  
'Alli?' Alice tried, trying to gain support.  
'Sorry Al, but I'm with Lily, we really do need to get this done! I was practically suicidal in Transfiguration this morning!' she replied, not looking away from the page she was attempting to memorize.

Alice let out a loud cry of frustration and Lily and Alina couldn't help but smile in amusement.

'Why don't you go and find Frank?' Lily asked innocently.  
If looks could kill, Lily Evans would have dropped dead at that exact moment. Alina burst out in laughter at the look on Alices' face  
Both Lily and Alina knew for well that Frank had blown Alice off so that he could revise, yet the temptation to wind her up even further was too much for them.  
'Look, if you don't want tor revise History of Magic-'  
'There's no point! I couldn't care less about the stupid lesson!' she huffed.  
'-then practise Defence against the Dark Arts' Lily continued, as if there had been no interruptiong 'if you want to be an Auror you're going to have to get top marks Al...' she reminded her.  
'All right, I suppose' she sighed, rolling her eyes, and pulling a book closer to her.  
They stayed silent for about half an hour, revising quietly, laying under the beaming sun, beside the lake. It was actually quite peaceful, being able to escape from the confinements of the library and into the fresh air. Alina closed her eyes for a minute and sighed in contentment, that is, until a dark shadow blocked out her sun and caused her to open her eyes in irritation.  
The sweaty round face of Peter Pettigrew was not something that she particularly wished to open her eyes to. It was quite strange how her opinion of him seemed to have changed so drastically since he had gotten a girlfriend. He had gone from being cute and shy to making her feel uneasy and uncomfortable around. She only felt it at random moments, moments like this, where she felt a pang of disgust or discomfort. Mostly the moment quickly passed and he went back to being Peter, the clumsy little brother of the group, yet the moments were growing increasingly longer and it confused her.

'Finally! People who don't spend their entire lives revising!' Alice squeeled in delight as she noticed the presence of the four boys.  
'We don't spend our entire lives revising Al' Alina argued, biting back a chuckle at the relief on Alice's face.  
'Ah, I think we've come to disappoint you Alice' Remus told her in an apologetic tone.  
'Yeah, we were gunna ask if we could revise with you?' James asked politely, dispite already having plonked himself down next to Lily and begun to empty the contents of his bag.  
'Do we have much of a choice?' she asked, slightly amused.  
'Well no...not really, no' he replied, grinning.  
'Anyway, if we've got Moony's and Lily's brains put together, none of us could possibly fail! So you two better start teaching us' Sirius grinned, taking a seat and purpously avoiding Alina's eyes.  
It was no loss to her, for she had been doing exactly the same thing to him. The awkwardness between them had only grown since the meeting on Saturday night, and now, on Tuesday morning, it was not only unbearable to them, but also those around them.  
'I really thought I could rely on you four...but no! All anyone ever does is let me down!' Alice began to rant angrily.  
Remus arched his eyebrows questioningly.  
'Don't ask' Alina told him 'she's just throwing a tantrum'  
'I am NOT!' Alice added indignantly.  
'She is' Lily grinned.  
'Listen Alina...' Remus began awkwardly as he sat down beside her 'about how we treated you –'

'It's fine' she told him quickly, finding that she really didn't want to hear his apology.  
'No it's not' James told her firmly 'we were completely out of order –'  
'It's fine!' she cut in 'Honestly!' she added, widening her eyes to try and convince them. They both, however, remained looking sceptical.  
'But I don't understand' Peter stated, staring at her with his watery blue eyes.  
'Well _that's _a suprise' Sirius muttered sarcastically, and Alina bit her lip to hide her amusement. For that brief second she raised her eyes to meet his and the spark of electricity that shot through her made her suck in a deep breath of air in suprise.  
She quickly looked away from him, feeling angry that she still reacted to him like that. He had cheated on her. He had slept with her and then dumped her.  
_But he did think that you were cheating on him with his brother. It did look like that._  
She brushed away the annoying voice in her head that kept piping up and she looked back at Peter.  
'You don't understand what?' she asked.  
'Why you would be meeting your boyfriend's brother when it had nothing to do with an arranged meeting' he said it all so quickly it was almost in one breath. Alina blinked in suprise at the accusatory tone that he used and she immediately felt resentful to him. She narrowed her eyes and she felt Lily and Alice watching her warily.  
'Shut up Wormtail' Sirius spat.  
'What?!' Peter gasped in suprise, clearly stung by Sirius' tone.  
'That's got nothing to do with you' he replied angrily 'so shut up'  
For a split second Peter looked as if he was about to curse Sirius, yet that quickly ended and he looked to the floor in embarrassment at being treated in that way.  
Alina took a deep breath to calm herself. Her emotions were so strong at the moment, reacting to the most sudden and unexpected things. The last thing she wanted was to lose control of her powers at the same time.  
'Regulus is not like the others. He isn't evil and he shouldn't be there.' She said quietly, her head bent over the book she was reading and she refused to look up.  
She finished at that, in a desisive note that made it quite clear that the conversation was over.  
The group revised almost in silence for the next hour, barring the few excitable moments between Sirius and James, where they had grown too restless to keep the peace.

* * *

The week passed by, slower than any other she had experienced. Her hand constantly ached from the furious writing that she was doing and her mind was all over the place, trying to memorize different spells and potions for her practical exams.  
It seemed as if a year had gone by when she woke up Thursday morning. The familiar feeling of nerves immediately sprung awake with her and she let out a shaky breath at the thought of the two practical exams she had that day. Defence Against the Dark Arts and Potions.  
'Are you awake Alli?' Lily's bright voice sounded from behind her curtains.  
Alina groaned 'Yeeeess' she replied, feeling irritated by Lily's ability to be so energetic in the morning.  
Lily laughed airily which increased Alina's annoyance.  
'What the hell is wrong with you?' she groaned.  
'The boys asked if we wanted to go and play a game of Quidditch with them after breakfast!' she told her, and Alina immediately sprung out of bed.  
'Well why didn't you say that in the first place!' she yelled excitedly running to the bathroom and almost falling over on the slippery floor.  
'Well you never gave me a chance! You're worse than the Bloody Baron when you wake up!' Lily called after her.  
Less that twenty minutes later the three girls were making their way down to the Quiddtich pitch.  
'You could have let me take a shower!' Alice grumbled.  
'Well you could shower Ali' Lily told her seriously and Alice looked hopeful 'but we'd have to revise after instead' she continued.  
Alice made a face of disgust at the word 'revise' and immediately took on a brighter tone.  
'Lets go then!' she yelled, dragging Lily forward by the arm and leaving Alina to catch up in bemusement.  
'Well you lot took your time!' Sirius yelled, as the three girls finally came into sight.  
'We had to convince Alina not to breathe fire on us because we woke her up!' Lily yelled back.  
'Why would you have to do that?' Remus asked in confusion as the three girls reached them.  
'Oh Alli's like the devil reincarnated if you wake her up too early' Sirius told him automatically.  
Alina looked at him in suprise, and blushed as their eyes met once again. Both looked away quickly, but the awkwardness had immediately returned.  
'Ah that's a bit like Peter then!' James said in a knowing voice, everyone turned to him questioningly.  
'What?' Peter asked in confusion.  
'Well if we wake him up unexpectedly he screams like a girl' James told them with a straight face.  
'I do not!' he cried, growing extremely red. He glanced at Elyse who was standing a few feet away from them and exchanged a knowing look.  
'Well Prongs, he did wake up floating in the middle of the lake-' Sirius reasoned.  
'You didn't!' Lily gasped.  
'Nope! We didn't!' James responded happily 'Moony did!' he grinned.  
'Well he shouldn't have tried to slip me a love potion then!' Remus grinned back, the girls all looking at him in shock.  
'Yeah...about that...' Sirius began.  
'We kind of suggested to Peter that –'  
'They said that if I didn't do it they would make me fall in love with Proffesor Slughorn!' Peter yelped.  
Remus raised his eyebrows at James and Sirius, who now had extremely guily looking innocent expressions on their faces.  
'Well you would of suspected us immediately! Peter was the only chance we had!' James laughed.  
'Well are we going to play Quidditch or not?' Peter asked grumpily, causing the three boys to grin at each other in delight.  
'Yeah come on! I can't wait!' Alina added, looking longingly up at the Quidditch pitch. She hardly ever got to fly, she had always been too scared at being discovered by her father, but now...now she didn't care.  
Sirius watched her looking up at the pitch. For the trillionth time he hated himself again for letting her go. Her eyes were sparkling with excitement as she looked upwards, clutching her broom tightly, and a warm smile spread over her face. It was nice to see her smiling, he just wished she didn't look at him with such pain in her eyes whenever their eyes connected. It killed him that he was her source of pain. That he couldn't take back what he had done or make up for it. There was nothing he could do. Nothing, but hope that one day she would forgive him enough to be friends again.  
'Let's go then!' James yelled, swinging his leg over the broom and shooting upwards.  
Within seconds they had all joined him, all flying freely for a minute, relishing in the exhileration and freedom flying brought.  
'Boys verses girls!' Remus shouted to them all, and everyone gave an appreciative yell.  
'It's not really fair though! Two of you are on the Quidditch team!' Alice called.  
'Yeah but you've got Alina!' James replied.  
The game was hilarious. It consisted of so much cheating and tricks that it was impossible to say who was winning. Nobody really cared about the score, or the rules, it was the first time in months that they were all together and completely carefree.  
Alina was at the opposite side of the pitch when James saw the snitch.  
'ALLI!' Lily yelled to warn her, but they both knew it was too late.  
Alina soared as quickly as she could towards the snitch, but James was miled ahead, with a much better broom to boot. The girls knew this was it. They were going to lose.  
So Lily did what any true teammate would do. She took one for the team.  
'James!' she yelled as she flew in the path he was flying in, he briefly flickered his gaze away from the snitch and that was all she needed.  
Hovering carefully in the air, she grabbed her top with both arms and lifted it above her head, flashing her pale, bare skin to him, and a black lacy bra.  
James of course, was too gobsmacked to remember that he was playing a Quidditch match or that he was trying to get the snitch. He was too shocked to actually remember he was flying, as with wide eyes, he continued to stare at his flashing girlfriend, and forgot to stop.  
With a loud crash and a shout of surpise, James collided head first into the broom shed. Meanwhile Alina shot past him, and extending her arm, grasped her fingers around the golden snitch.  
'YOU CHEATERS!' James yelled, from the wooden rubble and everyone descended to the floor laughing.  
'That – was...amazing!' Alice managed to gasp between her laughter.  
'Well, I couldn't let them beat us could I' Lily grinned, playfully patting her boyfriends head.  
'Don't patronize me' he grumbled, brushing her hand away.  
'Aw Jamesy Poo – do you need a cuddle?' Sirius asked, throwing his arm around his friends shoulder.  
'Oh get off Sirius' James snapped, a hint of amusement, however, was present in his voice.  
'I just can't believe we got the whole morning of revision!' Alice remarked suddenly, looking at Lily in suspicion.  
Lily shrugged 'They're practical tests! What could we revise?'  
'God I'm nervous...I have to do well' Alice said nervously.  
'You'll do fine Al' Alina reassured her.  
'What if I don't? My whole career depends on this!' she fretted.  
'What do you want to be?' Remus asked her with interest.  
'An auror!'  
'That makes three of us' James grinned catching eyes with Sirius.  
'What about you Alli?' he asked.  
'I was thinking something to do with magical creatures? I'm not sure yet, but I figured I'm so intuned with them it makes perfect sense'

'You never told me that!' Lily said in suprise.  
'I only just started thinking about it...what it Sodales-' she immediately cut off, becoming painfully aware of Sirius' presence.  
Was it ever going to get better? Was she ever going to be able to speak about something that reminded her of Sirius, without wanting to cry? She hoped so, otherwise life was going to become incredibly uncomfortable for her.

* * *

'Welcome everyone, to your Defence Against the Dark Arts NEWT exam.' An elderly man, who smelled strongly of garlic, told them in a raspy voice. 'For your exam you will be split into groups of six and allocated a different door' he paused to gesture at the long line of doors behind him, each one had a large number painted in red in the middle of them. 'Behind each door will be a course of different obstacles that will require your use of defensive magic. You will all have to complete each obstacle to continue to the next. There will be an examiner at each obstacle observing you, if you, for some reason, cannot complete an obstacle, you must single this to your examiner and you will then continue on to the next one. Do you understand?'  
Everyone mumbled that they did, looking extremely nervous. The examiner flicked his wand and a long piece of parchment appeared infront of him, he began to read the names of the groups and the door in which they would enter.  
'Peter Pettigrew, Eloise Hibbard, Elyse Noir, Bellatrix Black, Thomas Avery and Marcus De 'Valle – door number 1'  
'Eergh!' James scoffed 'poor you Wormtail! You're stuck with all the Slytherins' he said in disgust.  
'At least you've got Elyse...' Remus said supportively.  
Peter just shrugged, taking Elyse's hand and moving begrudgingly towards their allocated door.  
The examiner carried on listing people's names and the group waited patiently, anxious to find out who they were going to be put with.  
'At least the worst ones are all gone' James muttered.  
'Yeah, Peter's stuck with them all' Sirius sniggered.  
'The poor kid' Remus chuckled, and they all nodded in sympathetic agreement.  
'Lily Evans, Severus Snape, Emily Solomons, Katie Moon, Marlene Mckinnon and Frank Longbottom- door number 4.'

'I'm with Sev' Lily stated in a shocked voice, the name sounding foreign on her tongue.  
'If he so much as looks at you I swear to God I'll-'  
'It's all right James' she told him softly, a determined note in her voice 'if he so much as looks at me, you won't have to do anything.'  
James raised his eyebrows at her but said nothing. He knew that it hurt her the way Snape had turned out, he knew that she still cared about him despite it all, and that made him hate Snape even more. How could someone, who knew that Lily cared about them, do anything to hurt her? To upset her? How could someone who had seemingly deserved so much love from Lily be able to torture her best friend? Lily didn't deserve that and that's what made him hate Snape so much.  
'James Potter, Remus Lupin, Alice Cooper, Fabien Prewitt, James Aldrige and Benjy Fenwick – door number 5'  
'Sweet!' James yelled, giving Remus a high five.  
'Alina Blake-'  
Alina jerked her head up at the sound of her name and listened intently to who she would be working with.  
'Sophie Steel-'  
_Great.  
_'Chris Hartfree-'  
Sirius looked up in alarm, a feeling of jelousy erupting inside him at the name of the boy who had tried to ask Alina to the Halloween Ball, all those months ago.  
'Bradley Dibbens-'  
'I hope a Flobberworm eats him' Alina muttered, and James, who was standing next to her chuckled in agreement, as he thought back to the boy who had treated Lily so badly.  
'Mellissa Goldree-'  
Alina smiled, as a name was called out of someone whom she actually liked, and sighed in relief as she waited for the final name to be called out.  
'Sirius Black – door number 8'  
'What?!' she yelped, not meaning to speak outloud.  
A few people nearby looked at her strangely, and she glanced desperately at Lily, who through the crowd was throwing her a sympathetic look. She refused to look at him. Despite the fact she could feel his eyes burning into her, she didn't want to discover it as a fact.  
Keeping her head down, she made her way to the door. She could sense him walking behind her and her stomach let out an unwilling bout of butterflies.  
When everyone was in their groups the examiner amplified his voice through his wand.  
'Remember, this is _not _a race. Do not rush through it, use your brains and common sense. Be careful, and good luck. You can begin.'  
With an excited babble of shouts everyone made their ways quickly through their doors.

**A/n: Okay, so I know this isn't the most exciting chapter - but give her a break - she needs some normality! The actual dADA exam was originally meant to be in this chapter - but as aslways my fingers got key-board happy and it would have been rediculously too long - so I've decided to do it in the next chapter :)  
I do hope you liked it though! Thank you for all your reviews! They were my favourites so far! They really made me smile so thank you so much!  
**

**Oh, and LaurenB16 - I hope I cleared it up for you? I realised I made it a bit confusing but yeah it was her last meeting, but they think she's going to be marked (she's obviously going to have to try and avoid that haha) I did the beginning of the chapter for you :)  
**

**Thanks xxxx**


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32:**

Trying her best to block out the rest of her group Alina marched through the door determinedly. Her mind was mingled with a mixture of nerves and excitement as she prepared for the exam she hoped to excel in.  
As she walked through the doorway, the rumble of nervous chatter evaporated and was replaced by a calm stillness. Biting the bullet, she allowed herself to glance to her left and found herself staring at the moronic face of Sophie, who looked entirely petrified. Alina had to bite her lip to hide the smirk.  
'So...where do we go?' she finally voiced the thoughts that everyone had been thinking as she stared at the blank field of grass before them.  
'Dunno, but wands out d'you reckon?' Sirius replied gruffly.  
They all complied, pulling out their wands in unison, and as a result a large oak wardrobe suddenly appeared before them.  
'What are we supposed to do with that?!' Bradley scoffed, eyeing up the wardrobe arrogantly.

'Maybe we're going to Narnia' Alina grinned and the others just looked at her in confusion 'it's a muggle stor-'she began 'oh never mind.'

'Welcome to your first task'

Everyone jumped at the sound of the high pitched voice, and looked round in alarm to find an elderly witch standing behind them. Before any of them could ask what they had to do, the Wardrobe gave a sudden and very violent shake and the doors strained on their hinges as the force inside them tried to escape.

'A boggart?' Sirius asked in an amazingly casual tone.

'Well done Mr Black' the witch replied 'one by one you shall have to go up and face the Boggart. So shall we begin with Miss Steel?'

Alina watched as Sophie gulped nervously and a layer of sweat dripped down from her forehead. They all watched silently as she pointed her wand to the wardrobe door.

'Alohamora' she whispered and the door immediately burst open.

Sophie let out a loud gasp as boy after boy climbed out of the wardrobe, until the entire year of Gryffindor boys stood before her.  
Alina frowned in wonder and her eyes briefly met with Sirius' and she could see he was just as confused as she was.

The boys had surrounded Sophie, and they were all looking at her critically.  
'You're nothing special Sophie' the boggart-Remus told her sceptically.  
'We only use you because you're easy' James told her seriously.  
'And when we're desperate'  
'Don't sit on my lap again, you're too heavy'  
'You left a makeup print on my shirt-'  
'-yeah but without the makeup she'd look like a dog' they all laughed coldly and Sophie let out a small whimper.

Alina felt a pang of sympathy for the girl, something that she would never believe she could experience for Sophie Steel. She had no idea that the bitchiness, the way she dressed and behaved around boys...it was all because of insecurity?

'Haven't you ever wondered why you've got no real girl friends?' Sirius asked her.

'LEAVE ME ALONE!' she yelled at the all, backing away from them.

'It's because you're ugly...'  
'You're boring...'  
'You're stupid...'

'Don't listen to them Sophie!'  
Everyone spun round to look at Sirius, who had called out to her. Sophie's eyes flickered briefly from the boggart to Sirius.  
'No one thinks that Sophie, it's a boggart...it's not real!' he told her gently.

A tiny sob sounded from Sophie's throat, and she nodded, turning back to the boggart.  
'RIDDIKULUS!' she shouted, and straight away the boys were transfigured into lacy pink underwear.

Alina joined in with Sophie's slightly hysterical burst of laughter, as her eyes were met with the sight of the four marauders in bras and French knickers.  
'Ladies underwear...it quite becomes you' she smirked at Sirius.  
'Which is why I'm wearing yours now' he grinned back, and waggled his eyebrows.  
She couldn't help but giggle and shake her head at his expression. It felt strange having such a normal exchange with him, but at least she now knew that she could actually form words around him. She let out a shaky breath and carried on watching Bradley, who was now facing an extremely large clown.  
'He's scared of clowns? Now that's a joke'  
Alina grinned at Sirius' comment and nodded her head to signal that she agreed, she didn't trust herself to speak with him again, and in a way she didn't want to. She knew it would make moving on ten times harder.

Ten minutes later, and it was only Sirius and Alina left to face the Boggart. As Sirius stepped forward, Alina was left worrying for the first time since the exam had begun what her Boggart was going to be?  
So far, she had managed to successfully avoid classes in which they had been using Boggarts, so in all honesty she had no idea what to expect. The thought was starting to gnaw away at her stomach, as her eyes stayed intently focused on Sirius.

As soon as Sirius stood before the Boggart, it immediately began transforming into something else. For a few seconds it was a blur as it kept changing from one shape to another as if it were trying to determine which to settle on.  
Finally, the shape started taking form. Alina looked in surprise as a figure stood before them with wavy blonde hair and familiar blue eyes. She cocked her head to the side in wonder as she stared upon the figure of herself, and shook her head at the surreal moment.

After the brief pause, the Boggart-Alina, dropped to her knees and let out a spine curling scream that echoed throughout the field. She began writhing, her body twitching and contorting in ways that looked painful in themselves. Her eyes widened frantically, and her pupils were jet black. She threw her arms out, clutching and grasping at the floor as if trying to find some release of the pain.  
Sirius had frozen.  
His eyes were wide with shock as he stared in horror at Alina's agonized body.  
'WHY – ARE – YOU – DOING – THIS!' The screech that emitted from her seemed to almost tear her vocal cords as she strained to get them out.  
She suddenly went quiet, her body stopped writhing and she looked up at Sirius, pleadingly, desperately.  
'Please stop Sirius. Please stop hurting me...'  
And the screams began again, causing Alina to shudder. Watching herself like this made the memory of the cruciatus curse seem all too clear, yet she couldn't tear her eyes away from the Boggart.

'Riddikulus'

Sirius' voice had seemed surprisingly calm and collected as he spoke the words, and Alina turned into a giant teddy bear, yet his face was ghostly pale and he looked anywhere apart from Alina.

Her legs felt like lead as she approached the Boggart. She became suddenly very aware of everyone's eyes trained on her and she had to take a deep breath to try and steady her nerves.  
_It's not real. It's not real._

She kept reminding herself this over and over in her mind and hoped that she wouldn't forget. As she stood in front of the Boggart, and it started spinning into shape, she silently prayed that it wouldn't be Sirius. The last thing she wanted was for it to be Sirius.  
And when she stared into the cold eyes of the figure in front of her she had at least got her wish. It wasn't Sirius.

It was worse.

It was her father.

She could almost feel the waves of curiosity flood from the people watching, and she dreaded to think about what Sirius must be wondering.  
She watched warily as her father approached her, a taunting smile on his face, and her heart dropped to her feet as uncontrollable fear consumed her. Her wand hand was shaking, and she opened her mouth to try and form the words but nothing came out.

'Go upstairs Alina, I'll come up in a minute so we can play our 'game' before bed time yes?'

She knew she had to act. If she didn't things would escalate and he would know. They would all know. With one deep breath she held her wand steadily and shouted.  
'RIDDIKULUS!'  
She didn't glance back at the Boggart as she returned to her place with the others. She kept her eyes trained on the floor and she kept them there.

'Well done everyone' the examiner told them warmly 'you can all proceed now...'

* * *

The Boggart had been mortifying.

Peter kept his eye sight level with the floor and tried to ignore the sniggering from the Slytherins. How could he be afraid of his best friends?  
The moment James and Sirius appeared before him he could have died of embarrassment. And when they started taunting him, belittling him in front of Elyse, in front of the Slytherins, he experienced anger he never knew he could possess.  
How could they embarrass him like that?  
He kept trying to remind himself over and over that it wasn't really them. That it was the Boggart, it was in his mind. But surely if it was in his mind then there must be some basis of truth to it? Perhaps Elyse was right?

It was the squeeze of her hand on his that brought him back to the current situation. He had completely forgotten that he was in an exam and his mind immediately snapped to attention. He looked suspiciously at the figure in front of them. It was like a shop dummy that modelled the clothes in the window, except it was holding a wand and pacing up and down before them.

Bellatrix let out a squeal of delight.  
'We're going to be duelling' she announced with pleasure, her eyes with a dark glint to them and her red lips curled into a smile.

'Peter Pettigrew? You're up first' the deep male examiners voice sounded from behind them. The sound of the sniggering from the Slytherins caused him to turn a deep shade of red and he felt as if he was walking to his execution.

The model stood before him, Peter thought briefly how creepy the faceless model looked as it bowed to him, and he immediately responded.  
'E-expelliarmus!' he cried nervously, but the figure easily blocked him and sent a jet of purple light back at him. Not thinking fast enough to form a spell he dived out of the way, rolling to the floor. The model was using non-verbal spells. Something that despite years of practise, Peter had yet to master, yet alone fight against.

The fight felt as if it went on for hours. He was desperately trying to throw spells at the model but was so out of breath from trying to dodge those that were being sent towards him, he was having serious difficulty.  
It was when he was sent to the floor with a leg-locking jinx, when he sent one final and desperate 'stupefy' at the dummy and with luck, hit it straight in the chest.  
With a satisfied grin he watch the model fall to the floor, and felt the jinx on his legs break.

He limped back to the group feeling extremely proud of himself, he was straight away met with a warm hug from Elyse, but as Eloise Hibbard went to take her place for her duel, the three remaining Slytherins let out low spiteful laughs.  
'WHAT?' he challenged defensively, trying to act more bravely than he felt.

'You're pathetic' Avery told him with contempt 'even to your friend's standards'

'My friends are not pathetic! They're better than you lot...any-any day!' he spluttered out, his cheeks flushing pink.

'Not even your girlfriend agrees with that' Marcus slurred, winking at Elyse, and therefore infuriating Peter.

'Don't look at her like that!' he snapped angrily and then turned to Elyse with raised eyebrows, expecting her to argue back.

'Well they are Peter! They have no idea what a real duel is like! They may rule the school now, but this is _school _Pete! They treat you like you're worthless-'Peter opened his mouth to protest but she continued, cutting him off '-and you can't even deny that Peter, just look at your Boggart! They expect you to follow them blindly but when you get out of here if you do what they say they're just going to get you killed and they couldn't care less!' Elyse broke off, and took in a deep breath of air that she had lacked whilst ranting.  
Peter blinked in surprise, his brain still taking in everything she said before he replied angrily

'We can take whatever the _Death Eaters _have to throw at us!' he sneered, his voice thick with sarcasm as he spoke their name.

'It looks like it's my turn' Bellatrix smirked, raising an eyebrow to Peter as if challenging him to watch her.

She prowled forward, like a lion marking its prey and she stood face on before the model. When it came to bowing she barely nodded her head before she threw a silent curse forward so quickly that is Peter had blinked he would of missed it.  
The model had no time to even attempt to block it. Instead, it completely exploded into miniscule shreds of plastic.

Peter stared in shock, his jaw had fallen open as his eyes set upon the tiny pieces of plastic that were left of the model.

'Still think you can take us?' Bellatrix whispered in his ear as she brushed past him and his body gave an involuntary shudder that caused her to cackle in delight.

Peter stayed silent, doing his best to look sure of himself, but he knew that he wasn't fooling anybody.

'You really think you're safe because you've got _Dumbledore?' _Avery sneered at him

'If you think that then you're stupider than you look-'

'-and that's saying something'

'We're going to know every piece of information you have. We'll know every member in your little 'order' because we're going to be _in _your meetings. And you're never going to be able to stop us' Bellatrix sneered at him, her face taking obvious pleasure in his discomfort.

Peter looked back at her, holding her gaze and smirking 'If you're talking about Alina, then _you're _the stupid ones. She's been telling Dumbledore everything about your stupid little meetings the whole time! So who's the idiots now!' he exclaimed in triumph, feeling extremely proud of himself as he gazed at them all.  
His triumph faltered however, when he saw the expressions of malicious delight plastered on their faces, and it then dropped to complete horror as he realised that he had just told them that Alina was a spy.

* * *

Lily let out an exasperated sigh through her clenched teeth.

'What?' she demanded, turning to face Snape with her hands on her hips.

Since the moment they had joined their group her had not stopped staring at her. At first she assumed he felt awkward, but then it had started to make her feel incredibly uneasy. She had tried her best to ignore it, but since the Boggart he had started opening his mouth as if to say something and then snapping it close.  
And now, after duelling with a transfigured dummy, she was really not in the mood for his indecisive actions.  
He stared at her in alarm, his mouth, which had once again opened, remained so and he remarkably resembled a fish.  
'What do you want Sev?' she asked, surprising herself at the use of her old nickname for him.

'I don't-'

'Don't give me that! You've been trying to say something since we began this exam so why don't you spit it out?' she told him angrily.

'I didn't –'

'Oh whatever' she snapped, and turned away from him and strode forward to perform their next test.

Standing before the examiner she stood determined. She would not allow him to irritate her or to have an effect on her grade. She could do this.

She deeply inhaled a calming breath and tried to ignore everyone in her surroundings. Instead she let her mind wander back to the beginning of the year. She pictured herself arriving at Kings Cross station and the image of her best friends greeting her. She remembered the warm embraces of Alina, Alice and Polly. Her thoughts then turned to the Halloween Ball. The first time she had realised that James Potter wasn't who she thought he was, the first time she had danced with him, and then she remembered the first time she had kissed him...

'Expecto Patronum!' she cried and a bright silver light shot from her wand and formed the shape of a beautiful silver doe. She smiled in delight as the doe danced around her gracefully before slowly fading away.

'Excellent' the examiner beamed as she returned to her place within the group.

'I always knew you'd become a powerful witch'

Severus' soft voice made her jump, and she turned to him with a sarcastic expression on her face.

'So _now _you can be bothered to talk to me?' she asked, and took pleasure as his cheeks turned a faint shade of pink.

'I can always be bothered to speak to you Lil...it's just so different now-'

'You mean you're a Death Eater and I'm a mudblood?' she hissed, keeping her voice as low as possible. His reaction surprised her. His face contorted with a mixture of conflicted emotions. Pain? Regret? Desperation?

'Lily I'm so sorry about calling you a mudblood...no! Please listen to me this time!' he caught her hand as she turned to walk away from him and looked at her pleadingly.  
She couldn't help it. She couldn't help still caring for him and that was what hurt the most.

'So what about all of the other 'mudbloods'?' she growled 'how can you chop and change your beliefs Sev?'

'You're different Lily' he told her seriously.

'No I'm not!' she told him angrily 'My parents are muggles and you've known that since we met! Why did it have to become a problem as soon as we got here? I thought you were my best friend and you left me!' her voice caught at the words and she acknowledged the moment of relief at being able to release all of her feelings.

'Lily-'Severus' voice was gruff with pain but she held up her hand to silence him.

'You meant everything to me! You were so kind when we met...you were so understanding and – and' she paused for a moment as her emotions caught up with her 'and now – now you wouldn't think twice at murdering someone like me for a bit of fun! What happened to that boy?' she asked the last sentence gently, needing to find the answer she had so long craved for.

'You were the only person who knew that boy –'

'So it was all a lie? You were faking it the whole time?'

'NO!' he yelled, and froze as everyone turned to stare at them. He waited and then continued quietly 'you're the only one who knows the real me Lily' he told her earnestly.

She stayed quiet for a moment as if in deep thought.

'That's just not enough Sev' she finally told him 'The things you've done? They make me sick. You make me sick. And what's worse is that you probably know who killed Polly! You do don't you!' her eyes widened with horror as his gaze dropped to the floor.

'You took away my best friend from me' she spat.

'It wasn't me-'

'But if he'd told you to do it you would have!' she accused, and he didn't answer 'what if he asked you to kill me?!'

'I'd never-'

'Oh yeah right Sev' she spat 'let's make this clear. Don't you ever speak to me again. Don't look at me again; just don't have anything to do with me! I don't want to know you anymore! As far as I'm concerned the Sev I know is dead...just great' she chuckled darkly 'now I've lost two best friends...Just stay away from me _Snivillus.' _she sneered,

'Mr Snape?'

The last thing Lily saw was the expression of sheer pain on Snape's face as he turned to cast his Patronus.  
He stood where was required but he turned anxiously to the examiner.

'Do I have to do it in front of everyone?' he asked in a low voice.

'If you can't cast the spell you can leave it ou-'

'Of course I can cast it!' he scoffed 'I just don't see why I have to do it in front of an audience...'

'It is the requirement of the exam Mr Snape, please proceed.' The examiner replied coolly.

'Fine' he snapped 'Expecto Patronum!' he snapped.

Instantly, the familiar silver substance erupted from his wand and straight away took form. Lily gasped in shock as her eyes met with the familiar sight of her own Patronus.  
Snape's silver doe danced beautifully around him. It weaved around playfully and shook its head gently before it faded into the air.

As he moved back into the group Lily stared at him in confusion, desperately trying to meet his eyes but he refused to look at her. He kept his eyes trained directly on the examiner, who was writing furiously in his notebook.

'Excellent everyone! Truly excellent!' he beamed 'that's your exam over! If you'd like to proceed through the door' he indicated at the wooden door which had just appeared before them 'you will return to where we began. Again, well done!'

Snape moved swiftly towards the door, sweeping past everyone else and refusing to talk to anyone let alone acknowledge her. He was mortified. Completely humiliated and pained at losing the only person he ever wanted.

She watched him go. Her eyes set on his familiar frame, his jet black hair and pale complexion. She felt her eyes stinging with emotion, and she bit her lip to stifle a sob.

She knew there was only one reason a Patronus would take on the same shape as somebody else's, yet her mind seemed to refuse to accept it as a fact.

After all these years, after everything that had happened how could it be true?

Her mind tried to brush it off, to refuse to believe it, but her heart understood. Her heart knew the truth. Because deep down she had always known.  
As he disappeared through the doors she let out a sigh before following the group.

Severus Snape was in love with her.

* * *

'Don't – don't you hurt her!' he piped up, trying to look fierce but knowing it was useless.

'I think you've made sure it's a bit too late for that Peter' Avery sneered and looked at him with cold calculating eyes 'but the Dark Lord will remember this'

'W-what?' Peter stuttered.

'Yes Peter, the Dark Lord appreciates those who are willing to...co-operate' Bellatrix told him in a sickly sweet voice.

'I don't want him too!' he protested.

'Do you want to die?' Marcus asked calmly, his voice causing Peter shudder.

'Of course he doesn't!' Elyse cried desperately, clutching Peter's hand.

'Then he'll do what he's told. Keep your mouth shut and the Dark Lord will be extremely sympathetic with you...'

'But my friends...!'

'Your friends need not know...' Bellatrix cooed softly 'you think we're cruel, but we're not Peter. We're just realistic. We don't want to die, we want to be powerful, we want the right structure to be in place.'

'Structure?'

'Pureblood supremacy! And what are you Peter?'

'P-pureblood!' he squeaked.

'Well then' Bellatrix beamed, the expression so alien to her face that it seemed even scarier than a look of rage 'why are you condemning yourself to death?'

'Just keep your mouth shut Pettigrew and you can keep your friends. We'll never tell them it was you who told us...it'll be our little secret' Avery told him softly, before the turned away and left through the door. Peter didn't see the triumphant looks they threw at each other as they walked away; he just stood in silence, his knees wobbling dangerously.

'Elyse...' he spoke softly, finding it difficult to produce words 'what do I do?'

He looked at her in sheer desperation, completely overwhelmed by both guilt and fear.

'You protect yourself' she told him firmly, her eyes steady with surety and his head jerked up in surprise at her words.

'You know as well as I do, if you told them they would do all they could to protect Alina and completely forget about the fact that you'd be in danger!' she told him bitterly 'She can protect herself! If you told them then they'd be after you! And like they said, why should you have to do that? The Dark Lord appreciates you! Unlike your friends...'

'I don't know' he bit his lip in confusion.

'Peter! When are you going to realise that fighting against them is futile! You saw Bellatrix duel! Would you rather be on that side or against that side?'

'I don't want to be on their side...'

'But you won't be...really. You'll have your friends, you'll be with those you care about and support them...you'll just be ensuring your own safety! And mine!' she added 'if I'm with you you'll be protecting me!'

'I will?'

'Yes! And I don't want to die Pete...do you?'

'No...'

'Then do what they say! For both of our sakes!...I'll follow you anywhere Pete, I'd go against them if you want to...but I'm scared Pete...' she looked at him pleadingly, cupping his face tenderly between his hands 'I love you Pete...please?'

'Okay' he finally sighed.

'Okay?' she checked, forcing his eyes to meet with his.

'Okay' he told her firmly, his chin set in determination.

'I think you're brave Peter Pettigrew...and I think you've just saved our lives' she went on to tip toes and kissed him gently on the mouth.

'I love you' he smiled back at her, and hand in hand they went back through the door to meet their friends...

**A/n: As you've probably guessed, trouble is on the way :)**

**I just want to say a big thank you to my regular reviewers -**

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**I really appreciate the time you've taken to keep reviewing thank you so much! And if i've left anyone out don't hesitate to yell at me and i'll give you an extra special thank you next chapter :)  
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**Thank you to you new reviewers they really keep me going :) so don't stop! PLLLLEAAAASSEEE! xxxx**


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33:**

Alice wasn't happy.

For the last week she had been pretty miserable. She had pleaded over and over with her friends to have some fun but over and over she had been turned down in the name of revision.

So the minute that she left the confines of her final exam relief and excitement washed over her and a wide grin spread from cheek to cheek. It was time for fun. It was time to forget the miseries of exams and enjoy the party she was sure the Marauders were all ready setting up for that night,

Except they weren't. There was no party, and Alice was definitely not impressed.

'What the hell is wrong with your boyfriend?' she snapped, frowning at Lily, who bit her lip to hide the grin that was threatening to appear.

'OI! I'm sitting right here!' James interjected.

'Was I talking to you?' Alice replied casually, and then turned back to her friend, causing Sirius and Remus to dissolve into laughter 'Well?' she asked Lily.

'I really don't know Lily...although I'd say there are a lot of things wrong with him' she reasoned.

'Again, I'm sitting right here!' he protested, and Lily giggled.

'Look Alice...'

'I definitely wasn't talking to you' was the reply she gave Sirius, without looking at him.

'We're going to throw a party!' he exclaimed, completely exasperated.

'You are?!'

Alice's face immediately lit up, the deep frown that creased her forehead was erased by the ecstatic grin that had replaced it.

'When?' she demanded.

'Next weekend, we had the choice of either concentrating on our exams this week or sorting out a party-'Sirius continued.

'-but Moony reckoned that our exams were 'more important'' James quoted sarcastically.

'It never ceases to amaze me the things they blame me for' Remus shook his head.

'Excellent...good boys!' Alice beamed 'well I'm off to meet Frank, see you!' and she was gone, leaving James, Sirius and Remus staring after her with open mouths.

'She's-'Sirius began, words failing him.

'Crazy?' James suggested 'OUCH!' he yelled as Lily's elbow connected with his side.

'She's just...Alice' Lily told them.

'She's like a force of nature' Alina grinned.

'So...' Remus began, trying to change the subject 'are you three coming to Hogsmeade with us tomorrow?'

'Yes!' Lily beamed 'I can't believe it's going to be our last trip! We have to go and do everything...we can even go and see the Shrieking Shack! Although it's not like you're there to haunt it for us are you Remus...and then we can all go to the-'she froze as she caught Alina's expression. The light-hearted grin on her face had vanished and she looked as if she was in pain.

'Alli? You okay...'

'Yeah!' Alina told her a little too brightly, waving away Lily's concern, and determinedly ignoring Sirius'. In actual fact she was terrified. She dreaded Hogsmeade, for she knew that while she was laughing and enjoying herself with her friends, Regulus would be facing Voldemort, and successfully ruining his life.

'So...where are we going first?' she asked, and as the others launched into their plans, she escaped into her own thoughts.

* * *

'Where are you going Pete? We're leaving in a minute' Alina called as Peter made his way to the portrait hole.

'I'm just going to meet Elyse, we'll meet you at the entrance hall' he called back, before climbing through the hole.

'Okay, see you soon' she shouted in reply and he ignored the feeling of guilt that seemed to be constantly present when he was near Alina.

As soon as he was alone he let out a deep sigh of relief. How much longer could he lie to his friends? If he didn't tell someone, what was to become of Alina? But then, if he did...what would become of himself and Elyse?

He had to talk to Elyse and tell her what he was feeling because she would know what to do. Her ability to think logically was exceptional, and he supposed that was why she was in Ravenclaw. As always, a slow grin spread across his face as he thought about Elyse, she was amazing and he couldn't believe how lucky he had gotten to be with her.

'Hello Peter'

The voice sounded from the shadows, yet he didn't need the light to tell him who was addressing him. A shudder convulsed through his body and his throat went dry, it was the typical reaction of anyone whom Bellatrix Black sought out.

'What do you want?' he asked cautiously, eyeing her up and down.

A sly smirk spread across her lips and her eyes remained ice cold.

'Just a small favour Peter' she replied in a sugary sweet voice.

'Why should I do you a favour?' he replied.

Her attempt at acting sweet was thrown out the window at not being complied with immediately and was replaced with eyes that burnt with sheer wrath. The look caused him to tremble and try and back away.

'Don't you dare try and question me Pettigrew' she spat 'you barely have the right to speak to me yet alone challenge me. You _will _do what we want, and you won't say a word, unless you want your little girlfriend to suffer?' she chuckled darkly, sending a chill up his spine.

'Don't you even think abou-!'

'If you do what we ask we can ensure both yours and your girlfriend's safety' she snapped at him.

'What do you want me to do?' he sighed.

* * *

The weather was perfect to go to Hogsmeade, the sky was clear blue, and not a trace of cloud could be seen. The sun was hot, beating down heavily on them but was evened out by the cool wind.

They had spent the morning trying to fit in everything they could possibly do. It was the last trip to Hogsmeade with the school and they wanted to do 'one last lap of honour' as James put it.  
Since third year the three girls had visited Zonko's jokes shop, but it seemed they had been missing out, for visiting it with the marauders made them see it all in a new light.  
The minute they had entered the store, three of the workers had descended on them, holding out the newest products and asking about those previously bought.  
The girls watched in amazement as they were led to a completely blocked off section of the shop which they were totally unaware even existed, and were shown items they didn't even know had been made.

'Why are they showing you all this?' Alina whispered to them, and Sirius turned back with a lopsided grin that made her heart melt.

'We've been their most loyal customers since second year' he told her.

'Second year? But we weren't allowed here until thir-'she noticed his raised eyebrows and sighed 'oh – of course _you _lot would have gone in second year. Typical' she laughed, and quickly looked away from Sirius, feeling awkward.

Three hours later, feeling rather over heated and with their bags full of Zonko products and Honeyduke sweets, they made their way merrily into the Three Broomsticks for a drink.

'It's going to be so strange not being here next year' Elyse smiled, looking mournfully around the pub.

'What do you want to do next year?' Remus asked her with interest, they seemed to know very little about Elyse.

'Oh, I want to work in the Ministry, I'm not sure what department yet though' she told him 'I just know I want to do something interesting'

'Maybe you and Pete could work together then' Alice beamed 'you want to go to the Ministry as well don't you?'

'I dunno' Peter shrugged uncomfortably, his eyes flickering to the door quickly.

'Ergh, I can't believe that I've got to move back home this year...for good!' Lily remarked suddenly in disgust.

'What's wrong with that?' James asked in confusion.

'Petunia's got this animal...'

'What and you're allergic?' Elyse asked quietly.

'Well I suppose you could say that' Lily replied, flashing an amused grin at Alina.

'You see, he's not so much a pet as Petunia's boyfriend' Alina continued, laughing at the shocked expression on Elyse's face.

'What, your sister _likes _animals?'

There was a brief silence, where everyone stared at Peter, trying to determine whether his disgusted expression was a joke, until they realised that he was being perfectly serious.

'No, of course she doesn't!' James scoffed 'sometimes I wonder what's going on in that head of yours Peter'

'Well if you saw _Vermin _you wouldn't think Peter's comment that ridiculous' Lily laughed.

'Vermin?' Remus asked with a smirk.

'Well it's Vernon really...'

'But Lily's name is way more becoming' Alice grinned.

'Is everyone moving home after school then?' Alice asked them, biting her lip as if she was bursting to let out some news.

'I've got myself a flat, I can't keep annoying the Potter's for much longer' Sirius laughed 'and Remus is gunna crash with me for a while.'

'Well me and Frank are moving in with each other!' Alice gushed, smiling lovingly at her boyfriend who was sitting beside her.

'What?!' Alina and Lily cried in unison 'how did you keep that one quiet?!'

'Decided this morning' Frank grinned 'I figured I'm stuck with her most of the time anyway...' he laughed at the playful shove Alice aimed at him.

'What about you Alli?' Remus asked, remembering how she didn't like going home for the summer, let alone for good.

'I'm not going home' Alina decided and grinned as she realised for the first time that she didn't have to.

'What? Why?!' Sirius gasped.

'Because I don't want to' she told him coolly, creating a brief moment of tension 'I'm going to go and get another drink...anyone want one?' she asked as she stood up, avoiding Sirius' eyes.

'I'll come with you!' Peter said eagerly, practically jumping up.

'All right' she shrugged, and turned and walked away.

'One Butterbeer please and...' she turned to Peter expectantly.

'Oh...the same...please'

'Two butterbeers' she confirmed.

'Erm...Alli?' Peter began.

Alina turned to him, noticing the nervous tone to his voice and the way his fingers were shaking as he clutched the bar.

'Yeah...' she replied slowly, wondering what had got him so worked up.

'Would you – I mean you don't have to – it's just...I want to get Elyse a present and I'm not good at getting gifts for girls...and I'm going to be with her all afternoon, so I was wondering if in a minute you'd mind quickly coming with me and helping me pick something out?' Peter inhaled a deep breath, having not taken one through his entire speech; he hesitantly raised his eyes from the floor, where they had been glued to, to Alina's face.

She was smiling, and a current of relief flooded his body.

'Don't look so nervous Pete' she laughed 'come on, we'll quickly sneak out now so Elyse doesn't get suspicious' she added, with a mischievous glint in her eye.

'Th-thank you'

'Don't be silly Pete, I'm happy to help' she smiled, and Peter had to quickly swallow the lump of guilt that had threatened to block his windpipe.

* * *

'What about these?' Alina called, holding up a beautiful pair of earrings.

'Do you think she'll like them?' he asked, his eyes quickly looking out of the shop window.

Alina turned around to follow his gaze but saw nothing, so assumed it was one of Peter's weird ways.

'Well, I don't know Elyse too well, but if someone got these for me I'd absolutely love them' she grinned 'and I like all of Elyse's clothes, so I'm guessing we've got a similar taste'

'O-okay I'll get them then' he choked out, feeling sick to his stomach 'oh erm –would you mind waiting outside while I buy them and you know, keep a look out? The last thing I want is for them to come looking for us and catch me buying them...I want it to be a –a surprise' he asked her, his final word coming out as a squeak.

'Oh so that's why you've been looking outside so much' she laughed, with a knowing grin 'okay I'll keep an eye out and you buy them...I'll see you in a minute'

'Yeah...yeah, see you...' he muttered 'Oh Alina!' he called as she walked away, causing her to turn around 'I'm sorry...for – for...making you come out with me' he finished lamely.  
Her confused expression at his apology turned into an amused grin.

'Honestly Peter, I'm glad you asked' she flashed him a quick smile, before heading out of the door. Leaving Peter standing alone staring after her, with a tiny box of earrings clasped in his palm feeling suspiciously heavy with the weight of Alina's life in his hands.

* * *

Alina closed her eyes in bliss as she soaked in the bright sun whilst waiting for Peter to buy the earrings. She couldn't believe how much she was enjoying the day, after finally managing to push the thought of the marking ceremony from her mind, she felt more carefree than she could remember since Polly's death, and the feeling brought a smile to her lips.

'So you managed to get away then'

A silky voice made her jump violently out of her moment of serenity, and her eyes widened in a moment of panic as she found Snape, Regulus and Bellatrix standing in front of her.  
Quickly she swallowed down the panic and forced a deadly calm upon herself.

'Yeah, I figured Peter would be the easiest to slip away from' she replied casually 'the idiot' she scoffed 'so shall I meet you there then?' she asked.

'I think it would be best if we all went together' Bellatrix smirked at her, raising an eyebrow as if daring her to challenge the suggestion.

'But...won't that look suspicious?' she asked, nerves crashing down on her as she began to panic. Unintentionally her eyes flickered to the shop to see if Peter was coming; he wasn't.

'Oh no' Snape smirked 'everyone knows that you meet with us so it won't be too out of the ordinary...and people tend to get...lost' he paused and stared at her 'when trying to find the cave, so we thought we'd help you out'

'That's very kind of you' she replied stiffly, begging for someone to see her.

'Come on Alli; let's go...we don't wanna be late!' Regulus said excitedly and Alina had to use all of her control not to slap him for being so foolish.

'Alina' Bellatrix snapped 'the Dark Lord waits for no one, let's go. Now' she said darkly. Alina's eyes glanced down quickly and with complete panic she noted the wands tightly grasped in both Snape and Bellatrix' hands. There was no way out. She had to go with them, and she had no idea what she was going to do to get away.

'Oh of course' she nodded 'let's go then' she smiled, whilst her insides turned too led. Feeling as if she were a hostage she walked between Snape and Bellatrix, her heart thumping wildly and her throat painfully dry. All logic was out the window, for there was no logical get out plan for the situation she was now in.

Peter stood silently in the doorway of the shop as he watched Alina walk away. With every step she took alongside Snape, Bellatrix and Regulus, the weight of the earrings in his pocket seemed to grow heavier and heavier.

He took out the box slowly and tore his gaze away from Alina's retreating figure to look at them

'Blood money' he mumbled, and he angrily wiped away the tears that brimmed his eyes as he turned away and headed quickly back to the others.

'WORMTAIL!' his three friends yelled loudly as he entered the Three Broomsticks and he forced himself to grin back at them.

'Where've you been?!' James asked.

'Well I was –'

'Where's Alina' Sirius cut in sharply, glaring at him.

'I dunno' Peter shrugged, looking casually around the room as if expecting to find her there 'I asked her to come and help me with something, and she was waiting outside a shop for me...I just figured she'd got bored and come back to you lot'

'What did you need her for?' Sirius asked, looking extremely jealous, and Peter had to struggle to push down the brief moment of glee at having caused Sirius Black jealousy over a girl.

'Actually, I asked her to come so I could get her opinion on these' he said quickly, whipping the earrings from his pocket and handing them to Elyse.

'Awwww! That's so sweet!' Alice and Lily gushed, and Elyse smiled with contentment.

'Thank you' she told him and their eyes met for a moment. In that split second they had had an entire conversation. She looked at him in confusion, knowing that something had happened that she didn't know about, and he quickly looked away, feeling guilty once again.

'It's okay' he muttered.

* * *

No one had seen her. No one had even blinked twice as she strolled through Hogsmeade with three Slytherins. The anxiety she was feeling had now progressed to fear. She had no idea what was awaiting her in that cave, but she did know the chances of her surviving if she refused the mark, and they weren't very high.

'Is it much further' Regulus asked anxiously, his forehead sweating slightly with nerves.

'No it's just round this corner' Snape relied as they turned it.

Never, in her entire life, had her mind picked up on such a powerful aroma of evil and malice. It caused her to gasp as she came into the vicinity of the cave and the air suddenly seemed extremely thick.  
It was like there was a dark smog leaking into her mind and it was intoxicating, making her lungs feel clogged and her stomach turned ominously.

She hesitated as she stood at the foot of the cave, and she couldn't help glancing around desperately for an escape route.

'Keep going' Bellatrix growled harshly in her ear, and with a final gulp, she let the mouth of the cave consume her.

Everyone in the cave fell silent as they became aware of the presence of Snape and Bellatrix. Avery swept over to stand beside them as their eyes flickered across the faces of those present.

'It seems you've all made it' Snape said monotonously.

Alina looked around the cave, there were many familiar faces from the meetings at Hogwarts and there were a couple of older faces of whom she did not recognise. Altogether there were about eight potential Death Eaters including herself.

'The Dark Lord will arrive with some of his Death Eaters. When he arrives don't you dare look at him in the eyes' Bellatrix spat at them, looking slightly insane for a second 'you will all bow to him and will only arise when he tells you it is acceptable to do so'

'When your name is called you will come forward to receive the mark' Avery snarled at them.

'I can't wait!' Regulus whispered to her 'my family is going to be so proud.'

Alina gave in. What was the point in hiding it now, it would be out in the open within minutes.

'Please don't do this Regulus' she pleaded.

'What?' he gasped quietly, staring at her as if she was mad.

'You are not a killer' she whispered desperately 'you're such an amazing person! You've got your whole life ahead of you; you don't have to do this! I can't bear to see you become like them' she choked slightly at the last word, causing a slight squeak.

'Silence' Snape snapped at them, his eyes lingering cruelly on hers and his lips curling into a knowing snarl.

Alina threw one last desperate look at Regulus, and for a split second saw that his eyes were alight with unshed tears, before he looked pointedly away from her and refused to look back.

As the three Death Eaters before her pulled up their sleeves and touched the black marks burnt into their skin, Alina closed her eyes and delved into her powers.  
She had not used them since the headaches, but she knew that now, more than ever, she needed them desperately. She forced her mind to stop panicking, letting her body be overrun by calmness, yet she kept every muscle in her body tense.

There was a series of loud cracks, before five men appeared before them, they were all dressed in identical cloaks but only four were wearing masks. The fifth glared up at them, his thin lips twisted into a sadistic smirk and his deathly pale skin contrasting against his blood red eyes.

Along with everyone else, she bowed before him. Wondering why she was prolonging the act. Knowing that this would all come to nothing. However, a grim determination had now set itself within her. She was powerful. And she was not going to go down without taking as many of them with her as possible.

'You may rise' Voldemort hissed, his voice causing all the hairs on her skin to rise violently. 'Welcome, I am Lord Voldemort...and you, you are going to follow a path that will bring you honours beyond your wildest dreams.' He told them coolly, his eyes glaring from face to face, resting on hers for a split second longer than the rest.  
'I am aware that you have not got long, that you must return to that old fool Dumbledore, but fear not, soon you will not have to answer to those _mudbloods, blood traitors and muggle lovers_' he spat 'you will follow my path into victory, and into wizard supremacy'

Alina could practically feel the awe emitting from everyone around the room at his words and it sickened her. How could that be so closed minded, how could they believe that this was right?

'Lucius' Voldemort hissed, and a cloaked Death Eater stepped forward.

'Yes my Lord?' Lucius replied in a silky tone.

Alina didn't hear what Voldemort asked the Death Eater, for her mind had just erupted with alarms. Her eyes pierced into the Death Eater, craving to see behind the mask.  
The blood that flooded through her body burnt with anger and her hands curled tightly into fists as Polly's killer moved freely, just a few feet away from her.

'Marcus De'Valle' his cold voice echoed through the cave and drew her away from her internal rage, her heart thumping heavily as she realised the ceremony was starting.

Marcus quickly walked forward, standing directly before Voldemort and falling into a deep bow of respect.

'Marcus De'Valle' Voldemort tried the name on his thin lips and his eyes narrowed towards the tall boy who was standing before him 'and do you, Marcus, wish to follow me in the path to Victory?' he asked quickly.

'Yes my Lord'

'Then step forward...hold out your left arm' he hissed, his eyes suddenly brightening with an utterl disturbing excitement.  
Marcus immediately obliged, tugging up his sleeve roughly, and gazing with utter respect at the figure before him.  
Alina couldn't blink, she could barely breathe. She watched intently as Voldemort traced a bony white finger in a strange formation along Marcus' forearm, she could see his lips moving slightly as he chanted something that she couldn't make out under his breath and she could practically feel every heart in the room racing along with hers.  
The Dark Lord suddenly withdrew his finger, and his lips twisted into a satisfied smile. There was a brief moment of silence, where Alina took in the split second of relief on Marcus' face...before it contorted and twisted into a look of utter despair.  
His screams pierced through every space in the cave and straight into Alina's heart. Yet he didn't move. His feet were rooted to the spot and arm was still extended before him as Voldemort had asked him to hold it. Had it not been for the agonized expression on his face and the gut wrenching screeches tearing out of his throat, there would have been no signs of any feeling.  
She kept her face emotionless, even as sheer terror flooded through her body. She felt a boy next to her flinch and gasp slightly as he witnessed Marcus' pain, and she couldn't help feeling sympathetic for him as she saw Voldemort's eyes flicker maliciously in his direction.

'You' he hissed, staring directly at the boy 'what is your name' he demanded.

'A-Artemis F-Freeman' the boy stuttered nervously.

'You seem to fear the pain Marcus?' he questioned softly, yet seeming even more dangerous.

'N-No my Lord!' Artemis squeaked in reply.

'Don not lie to me' Voldemort spat 'Crucio!' he added coldly, extending his wand towards the boy. Artemis immediately buckled to the floor, shrieking and crying out in pain.  
And no one even glanced at him. The entire room kept their eyes trained forward, acting indifferently over the scene before them.

'Does anyone else wish to lie to me?' Voldemort asked them coolly, staring at every face in the room, and ignoring the shaking boy on the floor in front of him.

Alina's head jerked up in alarm as an eerie silence flooded through the cave. Marcus' screams had suddenly stopped, yet Alina guiltily wished them back, it seemed to her that the silence was more excruciating than the screams. She watched in disgust as a weak smile formed on his lips and he proceeded to bow to Voldemort before stepping back into formation.

'Regulus Black' Lucius called.

She felt him brush past her as he stepped forward. She watched him bow and extend his arm, and with a heartbreaking stab of pain she saw his eyes flicker to hers, filled with fear and uncertainty, before he dissolved into cried of pure agony.

And she finally accepted that it was too late.

There was nothing she could do.

It was over.

**a/n: Thank you once againt for all of your reviews I love them :) Next chapter is going to be quiiiitteee a bit longer I think...although I haven't started it yet...I do have an inkling haha**

**I just wanted to address one thing quickly about a review I recieved from *sighs*:**

**I will ALWAYS appreciate constructive criticism...I really belief that it makes you a better writer and anyone who takes the time with me to help constructively is amazing as far as i'm concerned...however...I do not appreciate comments that are not constructive. This is my first story I have EVER written, so I know it is going to have many flaws and the characters won't be as developed as a more exprerienced writer's, but I am writing on here to try and improve that and hopefully succeed in doing so. So if you think Alina is a 'mary sue' that is fine...maybe she is? And you are completely entitled to your own opinion...but if you do think so, maybe next time write how I could change that? Or what i'm doing wrong so I know how to prevent it happening again?  
Otherwise, all you suceed in doing is making me feel really crappy, because I have no basis on how to improve.  
**

**Sorry for my little rant lol...but thank you to all you other reviewers and for those who have put me on their favourite lists, i really appreciate it :)**

**Thanks xxxxxx**


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34:**

Alina had stood with her legs, however wobbly, rooted to the spot. She had watched with increasing panic as each person had been called forward. She had fought down the light headedness that had threatened to consume her from the sheer fear. She had forced herself to inhale deep calming breathes, despite the fact that her throat seemed unwilling to participate in doing so. And she had refused to flinch as she witnessed the formation of the ominous mark on each person's arm.  
She didn't look at Regulus, who stood silently a few feet away from her. She didn't acknowledge the looks of glee being sent her way by Bellatrix, Snape and Avery. Instead, she kept her eyes steadily trained on Voldemort.  
As the last Death Eater's mark was completed, and he stumbled back to his place before the Dark Lord, a deadly calm washed over Alina's mind. She knew this was it, the calm before the storm, and all she could do was wait to discover what her fate would be.

'Alina Blake'

His cold high voice seemed to be toying with her name, trying it out as if he were testing it for some unknown purpose. Alina glared defiantly at him, refusing to tear away her gaze from his own. Yet rather than cursing her, Voldemort's eyes glinted maliciously and he let out a loud high pitched cackle, that despite her best efforts not too, caused Alina to shudder.

'It seems that we have a Gryffindor with us' he smirked 'step forward!' he ordered, his voice suddenly becoming threatening. Seeing no other option, Alina complied, moving so that she was standing directly before him, her chin set in determination.

'My friends!' he addressed the crowd, sounding anything but affectionate 'it seems that Alina here, thought that she would be able to spy on us'

She did not turn to see their reactions, but the outraged cry that erupted from behind her left her with little need for imagination as to what their expression were.

'Quiet' he snapped, and instantly the cave fell silent 'do not fear, my faithful friends. Do you think that we would not notice it?' he asked them all softly, and chuckled quietly 'of course we knew. For we are far superior to the mudbloods and blood traitors with whom Alina Blake sides with'

It was difficult not to flinch at the venom of his tone as he spoke. She pushed every calming thought that she could through her body, refusing to fall victim due to her fear.

'So Alina, are you a true Gryffindor?' he addressed her quietly, the words echoing around the cave eerily 'are you feeling brave?'

'I don't need to feel brave to stand before you' she told him, her voice equally soft, yet her eyes flashed with challenge.

'Crucio' he remarked with the casualness usually resided for comments on the weather.  
If it was possible. If it was humanly possible, the pain that erupted through her body was even greater to that of which she had experienced at Snape's hands.  
The pain blinded any thoughts. It consumed her as if it were spreading through her soul. She needed relief, she craved relief, yet there was nothing she could do, expect scream and writhe with the agony.  
And as with her experience before, it was gone.  
She awoke from the agony in a heap on the floor. Her entire body shook and she could barely support herself as she pulled herself up, but she managed it. With determination that she didn't even know she possessed, she managed to rise to her feet.

'You are a lot stronger than you look Alina Blake' Voldemort commented, eyeing her with contempt 'but I'm afraid that that won't save your life' he told her, not sounding at all remorseful.

'What do you want?' she growled, still panting slightly 'why don't you just get it over and done with?' she glared at him.

'But where would be the lesson in that?' he asked coldly 'I feel that my supporters should see firsthand just what happens to those who betray me. Snape!'

'Yes, my Lord?'

'You have tried to see into Alina's mind?' he asked.

'Yes my Lord' Snape confirmed.

'And?' Voldemort snapped.

'And I was not able to My Lord; it seems that she is more aware of her...abilities...than we previously thought'

'You will not behave so ignorantly in the future then'

'No my Lord, of course not'

'Alina Blake' he called her name sharply.

'Yes?' she demanded through clenched teeth.

'Show me what's in your mind'

It was not a request, it was a command. As blue eyes flashed against blood red, a force beyond any she had experienced crushed against the barriers of her mind. She stumbled backwards briefly with the sheer shock of it, before realising that she needed to fight back.  
She summoned every ounce of power within her and threw it back towards the force and felt the strength of the attack weaken, yet by no means did it cease. Biting her lip and closing her eyes tightly she forced herself to become stronger, she forced the walls protecting her mind to thicken and she forced him further away.

'Don't defy me Alina' she barely heard him through the concentration 'the Dark Lord can be forgiving to those who comply'

It did not take an intelligent person to know that he was lying. She knew that she had little chance of surviving this and she was not going to allow him to access her thoughts and memories. She thought briefly of her friends, of Lily and Alice. Maybe she would see Polly soon? She thought of Sirius, she thought of how much she loved him despite what he had done...  
She thought of the Order. She thought of each one of their trusting faces, their hope and their determination to win the war. And she felt strength rush through her like an electrical impulse.  
She couldn't let him see her thoughts because he would know who they were. He would know who was resisting him and he would kill them. She was not going to let that happen.  
She released that electrical current, and a brief feeling of relief flickered within her, as she felt the intruding force disappear.

'You dare to defy me?!'His face twisted into something inhuman, his eyes burned with wrath and his lips curled into a snarl. 'Lucius' he hissed.

'Yes my Lord?'

'You know what to do'

She had thought that Voldemort's expression of utter rage was the most terrible thing that she had ever witnessed. The fear that had suddenly sparked as a result almost caused her knees to buckle. Yet the coolness of his final words...the twisted smile that played on the edge of his thin lips was even worse. It was cool and calculated. It was cold and cruel...and it terrified her.

'My new and loyal friends!' he turned to address the room 'it is a shame that I have not been able to spend this time welcoming you but as you have all seen I do not tolerate disloyalty.' His gaze briefly flickered across their faces 'You have all sworn loyalty and in doing so you will be repaid by success and greatness...but if you choose to defy me as Alina has done today...then you will pay the consequences. I am aware that you must return to school, so you may now leave. But soon you will be free from the clasp of that fool Dumbledore, and then I will summon you to me.'

'Snape. Bellatrix. Avery.' He continued, turning away from the other Death Eaters.

'Yes, my Lord?' they replied in unison.

'You have completed all that you have left to do at Hogwarts. So now, I must ask you to change paths.' They all gazed at him in wonder; Bellatrix's face the very picture of excitement. 'You will not be returning to school today, instead you will be remaining with me.'

Alina watched with disgust as all three of them bowed, gushing their thanks and honour at his proposal. She did not, however, mean to scoff at it out loud.

_Shit._

Panic flooded through her as everyone turned to stare at her, their expressions of utter hatred and outrage.

'How _dare _you show such disrespect you half-blooded scum' Bellatrix hissed, her wand pointing directly at Alina's chest.

'What aren't you going to ask permission to curse me Bella?' Alina asked, with mock shock, sounding a lot braver than she really felt.

She knew that it was completely inappropriate for the situation that she was in, but she could not discard the pleasure it gave her, as she watched Bellatrix quickly look at Voldemort, as if waiting for permission.  
The inappropriateness of that feeling was immediately proven as Voldemort nodded his head, with a smirk on his face.

'Crucio'

For the second time that day Alina found herself contorted with agony, her throat almost ripping with the pain.  
Yet it was not as terrible as what she had experienced from Voldemort. Her eyes managed to desperately seek out a form of help. She gazed up, her eyes wide and reflecting those of a wild animal, pleading with the familiar eyes of Regulus Black for help.  
But as she screamed for help, as she clawed at her skin to find relief, she watched as Regulus, along with the new Death Eaters, turned away from her and exited the cave.

'Enough Bella'

For an instant Alina felt entirely grateful to Voldemort for ending the torture, until her senses kicked back in. Panting profusely, she shakily began to rise to her feet once again, flinching as the weight of her own body almost seemed too much for her trembling legs to support.

'I will give you one last chance Alina Blake' he sneered at her, as she swayed slightly 'show me your mind' he commanded.

Alina raised her head slowly, until she was glaring directly at him. Her mouth curved into a lopsided smirk and with a cock of one eye brow she replied 'never.'

'Then you will die. You will die a painful and pointless death.'

'It doesn't matter if I die here...you're going to lose eventually' she hissed at him.

'Farewell Alina Blake' Voldemort told her cruelly, and with a crack, he was gone.

* * *

The minute Voldemort apparated, Alina knew she had little time to react. She knew that the following seconds of his departure would be crucial, but she was suddenly extremely aware of the eight death eater to one of her ratio.

Throwing the pessimistic approach to the back of her mind, Alina felt the sudden tingle of power rush through her veins, begging to be used, and she readily complied. She directed her thoughts towards those who she knew the names of; Snape, Bellatrix and Avery.

'Get back' she spat out loud, her voice echoing the power she had formed. Her eyes flashed angrily towards them and with one final surge of power she let it erupt from her grasp. She watched all three of their eyes widen with shock and the subsequent 'oofs' as they were winded and thrown backwards into the wall.

_Stay there _she thought firmly, and all three Death Eaters were left crushed against the hard stone wall, suspended a few feet in the air.

She did not pause to acknowledge the success; instead she had drawn her wand at an alarming speed, ready to cast a shield charm.  
But she wasn't fast enough. A hooded Death Eater had beaten her to his wand and had thrown a silent curse straight at her. Her left arm thrust itself upwards without her consent and Alina cried out in pain as it began twisted and tearing in strange angles. All she could do was watch with horror as her arm snapped at the bone, breaking with a resounding crack.

'P-protego!' she gasped in desperation, trying to ignore the pain 'SECTUMSUMPRA!' she yelled, throwing back a curse toward the Death Eater, which he managed to block.  
Immediately she sent back a jelly-legs jinx, and felt relief as the Death Eater's legs immediately lost control, making him unable to control himself 'Sectumsumpra!' she cried once again, and this time the curse hit.  
Despite the dire situation she was in, she could not help but feel slightly repulsed by the amount of blood that seeped from the Death Eater as a result of her curse.

Her shield was weakening, and the three remaining Death Eater's were sending curse after curse directly at her. How much longer would she be able to keep this up? She was desperately trying to hold Snape, Bellatrix and Avery, in place with her mind, whilst fight three grown men.  
She sliced her wand through the air in silence, sending a violent curse straight towards the nearest Death Eater, but it was easily blocked.  
_Oh God. Oh God. Someone help me...please  
_She tried desperately to prevent the thoughts but it was growing hard. With ominous crashes parts of the cave wall exploded and crashed in a pile of dust to the floor. She recast her shielding charm, whilst desperately trying to send spells back, but her resolve was weakening. They were just too strong...

'Secumtumsumpra!'

She dived blindly, but the curse grazed her arm, causing her already broken limb to form deep slashes, blood flooding through her top and excruciating pain blinding her for a moment.  
As if her body had a mind of its own, she threw herself behind a rock close by, trying to still shoot back curses from behind her shelter.  
It was in that moment of wild desperation that her mind flickered back to the most recent Order meeting...she remembered Dumbledore's talk of Patronus' and their many different uses.

She envisioned her friends' faces. She thought of Lily, Alice and Polly giggling in their Dorm together. She thought of the four marauders laughing loudly at a prank they had just pulled. She thought of Sirius...and their first kiss...

'Expecto Patronum!' she gasped, and immediately a thick silvery liquid erupted from the end of her wand. She watched with slight relief as the silver liquid quickly took on the shape of a unicorn, and looked at her expectantly.

'Go and get help!' she told him urgently, her voice slightly shaking 'and hurry! Please!' she begged.

With an irrational sense of loneliness, she watched as the Unicorn turned away from her and galloped out of the cave and into the distance.

'Come out, come out, wherever you are' a taunting voice came from nearby.

'Revealo' she muttered quietly, and heard the three gasps of surprise as their masks disappeared. Carefully, she peered around the corner, and stared in horrified shock as her eyes connected with cold grey ones. As she glared at the blonde haired man a new sense of determination hit her. The hatred that she had withheld for so long suddenly reawakened and she gripped her wand tightly.

It was time to avenge Polly.

* * *

'Look, I know she doesn't need someone around her 'holding her hand' but she wouldn't just wonder off!' Lily snapped with annoyance, angered by Peter's lack of concern.

'I'm not trying to sound uncaring!' Peter defended himself 'I just didn't want you all to panic!'

'I know' Lily sighed 'but where is she? I'm going to go and look for her' she decided, standing up so suddenly that it caused James to spill half of his butterbeer down himself.

'I'll come too!' Sirius jumped up instantly, his brow furrowed with worry.

As Lily and Sirius marched out of the doors the rest of them shook their heads and followed faithfully after them.

'You know she's probably just in Honeydukes' Alice muttered with amusement, and Frank grinned in agreement.

As they reached the doors of the Three Broomsticks leading out into the street, they were met by Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick, who were entering.

'Ah! Mr Black, Miss Evans' he beamed at them, and then registered the looks of panic on their faces 'What's wrong?' he demanded instantly, looking concerned.

'We can't find Alli!' Lily burst 'she was waiting outside a shop for Peter to buy something and when he came out she was gone! I know she's probably wondering around somewhere, but it – it's just so unlike her!' she sighed, glancing desperately at her headmaster.

Thankfully, he seemed to take her completely seriously.

'Go and search through the usual places you would visit. Stick together and do not leave each other's sides' he instructed 'Minerva' he added, turning to Professor McGonagall 'I must ask you to contact the order to let them know of Alina's absence...and if they are to see her get her to come with them to us' he asked her.

'She's probably just –'Peter began.

'We cannot take that risk Mr Pettigrew' Dumbledore interrupted quietly 'if you are to find her' he turned back to Lily and Sirius 'come back here immediately' and without another look back, Dumbledore swept from the room and out into the street.

They all quickly followed, but Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen.

'Where shall we start?' Alice asked, feeling suddenly panicked after Dumbledore's reaction.

'Honeydukes' Lily replied firmly, and they all ran through the crowds of students, towards the sweetshop.

* * *

'Where is she?!' Lily groaned desperately 'she can't have just disappeared!'

'We'll find her' Sirius replied shortly, his teeth clenched tightly as he tried to think of somewhere, anywhere she might be.

'But we've looked everywhere!' Alice moaned, her hands shaking with the panic she was feeling 'where else is there to look?!'

'We could try Honeydukes again?' Remus suggested.

'She's not there Remus!' Lily snapped 'they've got her! I know they have!' she cried.

'W-Who?' Peter asked, feeling terrified that they might discover what he had done.

'WHO? ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING PETER?!' Sirius yelled at his friend, angered by his apparent stupidity.

'It's the marking today! You know that Peter!' Alice told him shortly.

'And if they've got her she's in so much trouble-'

'Lily!'

'-and they must know what she's been up to. I don't even want to think about what they're going to do-'

'Lily!'

'-to her! And there's nothing we can do! We don't know where she is –'

'LILY!'

Lily's mouth clamped tightly shut, and she turned furiously to Sirius who had been interrupting her.

'WHAT?!' she yelled and then gasped. Her jaw dropped open and her eyes widened in surprise as the sight of a shining silver unicorn came galloping towards them from the distance. As it approached, her heart lifted, recognising it at once.

'It's Alina's Patronus' she breathed, feeling the tiniest speck of relief rush through her.

'_Find help!'_

The relief was replaced by icy fear as Alina's words echoed from the Patronus. She spoke hurriedly, desperately, her voice was shrill and frantic with fear and panic.

'WHERE IS SHE?' Sirius yelled desperately, moving forward as if her were planning on trying to grasp the Patronus.

'That was her message...' Remus announced quietly, not wishing to speak the words aloud.

'No.' Alice argued 'he can take us to her. TAKE US TO HER!' she screamed, tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

The Patronus looked directly towards her, and bowed it's head as if in compliance, it turned and trotted away, pausing only for a moment to turn back as if waiting impatiently.

'He's taking us to her?' Alice asked in amazement.

'Apparently, come on!' Sirius replied, already charging after it at full speed.

'Expecto Patronum!' Lily and James turned to one another in surprise as they cast the spell simultaneously.

'I'll send mine to Dumbledore...'

'And mine to McGonagall' she confirmed.

For a split second they watched the doe and the stag gallop away from them, knowing the significance of the form each Patronus took.

'I love you' he muttered.

'I love you too' she replied, and they both sprinted as fast as they could after the retreating Unicorn.

The sun bore down on the relentlessly. Sweat flooded their bodies and obscured their vision, their throats objected painfully to the dehydration and they gasped loudly as they ran up the hill that led to the shrieking shack.

'What – what if – she's – dead?' Alice managed to choke out through her pants as she ran beside Frank. Her cheeks were stinging with the combination of sweat and tears, but merely speaking the words caused her eyes to brim once again.

'She's – not' he panting as reassuringly as he could 'her – patronus – is – still – here!'

Her lungs were begging her for relief as they ached painfully, her heart was thudding loudly in her chest and her legs felt like lead. But all that Alice could think, all that she could hope, was that the silver Unicorn in front of her wouldn't disappear.

* * *

'Protego!' Alina whispered, putting all the energy she could summon, into creating the strongest shield that she could.

'Too scared to come out and fight Alina?' Lucius' soft, chilling voice, echoed through the cave.

'Too scared to fight me alone, _Lucius?' _she hissed in reply, and felt her anger rear it's ugly head as he chuckled in reply.

'Nott! Crabbe! She wants a dual...and I'll give her one. Go and see to Goyle...and see if there's anything you can do to relieve the other three of their...predicament'

Alina could practically hear the smirk in his voice 'I wouldn't smirk if I were you Lucius...I could do the same to you' she snapped.

'So you're too scared to dual me then, Half blood?' he sneered 'you still seem to be too afraid to come out...not very _Gryffindor _of you...'

Alina clenched her teeth firmly, and grasped her wand. This was the moment she had been waiting for. The moment that she had dreamt of all of these months...and she wouldn't waste it. She had to destroy him, just like he had destroyed Polly.

Flinching slightly, due to the pain in her arm, at the sudden movement, she jerked out from behind the rock and stood before Polly's murderer.

'Ah, there you are' he grinned cruelly 'CRUCI-'

'CONJUNCTIVITUS!'

His curse had been blocked by the shield charm that was already in place, but hers had been successful.  
Lucius cried out in outrage as his eyesight became significantly blurred due to the thick crust that had formed over them. Rather than use his logic, it appeared that the Death Eater would rather attack blindly. Alina had to use every reflex she had in order to dodge the curses he threw towards her.

'ARGHH!' she yelled, as she was lifted in the air and the blood in her veins began to sizzle, bubbling and boiling, causing her to shriek in pain at the impression of being burnt alive.

In desperation she cast the flame-freezing charm, and gasped in relief as the pain was replaced by a light tickle. Yet she felt significantly weaker, and she found herself gasping for breath.

'You think you can fight me girl? You're going to die here' Lucius spat, as she glared up at him.

'I don't think I can fight you...I know I can, and I will kill you. Just like you killed Polly' she yelled at him 'CRUCIO!'

The hatred she felt as she spat the words vanished into utter shock as she watched him twist and scream in agony on the floor. For a second she considered helping him, she considered trying to relieve him of the pain that she was far too familiar with, until the image of Polly's face came to the front of her mind, and she knew that he deserved it.

'Flagrate!' he gasped from the floor, and the spell hit her directly on the neck and she let out a gasp of pain as her neck was burnt by the orange flame, Lucius climbed to his feet, panting slightly, but looking triumphant.

'How did it feel using a big girl spell? Did it scare you? Make you feel sick?' he taunted with a knowing smirk.

'No actually, it felt great' she sneered, a feeling of sick satisfaction consuming her at the shocked expression on his face.

'Expelliarmus!' she yelled suddenly, and it seemed that his previous shock had slowed his reactions as his wand flew from his hands and landed on the opposite side of the cave.

'Do you want to know what it felt like to kill her?' he whispered mockingly his eyebrows raised, as he stood before her unarmed 'it felt great' he chuckled.

'Crucio!' she yelled, her hand suddenly shaking as the images of what he had done to Polly flooded through her mind.

'STOP IT!' she yelled, realising that he had opened his mind to her deliberately, showing her Polly's wide eyed expression of terror as he killed her.

'AVADA KED- ARGHH!'

A sudden heavy force crashed into her, sending her flying to the floor, smashing her head sharply on a rock on the floor. Everything went out of focus, the room was spinning, and she felt the tight leash she had controlling the power in her mind completely snap. Releasing Snape, Avery and Bellatrix.

Barely aware of the blood trickling down her cheek she turned to discover what the crushing weight on top of her was.

'WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!' she screeched, her previous rage returning at the sight of Sirius Black pinning her down.

'You are not a murderer-'he hissed.

'You don't know what I am!' she spat, her voice suddenly trembling with the emotions she had been holding off before. Could she have killed him? She knew she could. Anger, relief and frustration brought the tears to her eyes and she glared at him.

'HE KILLED POLLY!' she shouted, her voice breaking with the pain of the words 'AND I HAD HIM! I HAD HIM!'

His gaze suddenly became understanding, and then conflicted, but he had no time to reply, as the sudden yell of pain from James brought reality crashing back down.

She allowed Sirius to pull her up, the room still slightly spinning, and she turned to find James duelling Snape, heavily bleeding. James slashed his wand in a complicated motion and Snape suddenly fell to his knees, completely immobile, before throwing his head forward and vomiting a thick stream of blood.

Alina ducked as a jet of red light shot past her head, narrowly missing her, and she turned to face Bellatrix who was grinning widely at her.  
'Prepared to die Blake?'

Rather than respond Alina silently cast the bat-bogey hex and smirked in amusement as Bellatrix's bogies began to engorge and grow wings. Knowing it would infuriate Bellatrix she laughed out loud, and as predicted received a series of furious spells thrown at her by Bellatrix.

'ALICE!'

Frank's worried yell caused her to turn in alarm; she watched as Alice was thrown backwards by a jet of orange light and thrust violently into the wall. There was no movement from Alice as she slid downwards, a sickening pool of blood forming around her.  
Glancing around the cave, it suddenly become worryingly apparent that they were outnumbered. The previously small number of Death Eaters had somehow increased, leaving them with double the amount of people.

'ALINA WATCH IT!' Lily yelled, and Alina ducked just in time to avoid a curse that caused half of the wall it connected with to explode.

'Thanks Lil!' she grinned.

'That's all righ-'

'Crucio!'

All Alina could do was watch as Lily fell to the floor, screaming in agony. Her screams pierced her heart, sending waves of pain through her veins. Trying desperately to send curses flying back at those she was receiving she knew it was all in vain. They were losing. She had lured all of her friends up here, only to get them killed in the process.

'EXPULSO!'

She didn't know who had cast the spell, all she was aware of was the floor beneath her exploding, sending her flying backwards and landing roughly against the cave wall, beneath rubble of rocks and stones.

It took a few moments for her to catch her breath, having been violently winded, but she didn't move. What could she do? She was hurting everywhere. Everything ached, everything stung, her arm was agonizing and her neck burnt incessantly. Yet there was not going to be relief. This was it. This was how she was going to die.

It was the second she closed her eyes in defeat that a rough pair of hands grasped her, yanking her roughly from the floor and dragging her forward. She tried to struggle in protest, opening her eyes to find herself in the grip of Lucius.

'Thought you could use an unforgivable on me Blake?' he spat in her ear, and she became suddenly very aware of the thin wand being held against her neck.

'I think you'll find that I did use one on you' she replied coldly 'and if we weren't interrupted, you would be dead by now'

'But I'm not' he hissed 'and look what you've got your friends into' he hissed venomously, grabbing her chin and spinning her head violently to look forward.

It was difficult not to groan in defeat as the sight of each of her friends being held at wand point by a death eater met her eyes.

Alice was slumped in a heap on the floor, her clothes soaked with blood, before Avery, who was smirking at her with a sickening enjoyment.

James, whilst pale and bleeding heavily, seemed more concerned with watching Lily, and glaring hatefully at Bellatrix who held her captive. Lily's arm was hanging limply by her side, but her eyes glinted with defiance, and she held James' gaze firmly.

Alina scanned over them all, taking in all of their injuries, all of their looks of fear and defiance, and she felt the guilt clench in her stomach as she knew she was responsible for it all.  
Ignoring logic's protests, she finally allowed her gaze to set upon Sirius. A thin cut sliced across his cheek, and he stood slightly hunched, but there was no sign of serious damage. He gazed at the Death Eaters with arrogance and clenched his teeth in frustration, before allowing his eyes to meet with hers.  
This time she didn't try to stifle the butterflies, the way her heart jumped and thudded frantically under his gaze. She allowed it to run free, she relished in the moment and pushed everything that had happened from her mind. All that mattered now was that she loved him. However hard she tried to fight it, she couldn't. And she knew she never would.

'Snape!' Lucius spoke from behind her 'take Pettigrew and his little _girlfriend _outside. It's too busy in here, you can finish them off outside...and don't forget to cast the Caterwauling charm' he added on the end.

Snape immediately complied, roughly forcing Peter forward, digging his wand into the curve of his neck.

'GET OFF OF HIM SNIVVILUS!' Sirius suddenly yelled, struggling furiously against Crabbe to try and help his friend.

'Control your cousin Bella' Lucius ordered coldly, and Bellatrix smirked cruelly.

'Crucio' she whispered.

Alina's eyes never left him as he fell to the floor, she used whatever strength she could to push her power out, to try and soothe the pain, but it was useless. Instead the sharp pain that shot through her head, told her she had used all the power she had left in her, and all that was left was to watch Sirius writhing on the floor in agony.

'Go now Snape' Lucius told him, as Snape had paused to watch Sirius being tortured with delight.

All that was left to do was watch as Peter and Elyse were dragged from the cave, none of them knowing whether they would ever see them again.

'See you soon Wormtail' James called with determined encouragement and Peter nodded mutely, as he was dragged away from his friends.

'I hate you _Snivillus!'_

Snape's look of triumph suddenly faltered at Lily's words. He turned to her as if he were going to plead for forgiveness, but stopped at the look of hatred she was throwing at him. Instead he sighed quietly, and turned away, dragging his captives with him.

* * *

'You can go' Snape told them quietly once they had exited the cave.

'Wh- what?' Peter spluttered in confusion.

'Like we said _Wormtail _the Dark Lord looks after those who are loyal to him, you have done him a good service today...he looks forward to your compliance in the future. You and Elyse are free to go'

And without a glance back Snape left them, heading back down the hill to cast the Caterwauling Charm, and then to head back to his Lord.

Neither of them said anything, he just pulled her tightly to him as she sobbed hysterically.

'It's all right' he told her thickly, his throat barely allowing him to form the words.

'I didn't – think –'she sobbed into his chest 'I didn't know – that this would happen!' she gasped.

'I know...I know' he comforted her, his eyes fixed on the cave entrance, completely wracked with guilt.

'What...what do we do?' she asked quietly, calming down slightly 'If we go for help they'll kill us!' she cried in despair.

'We – we'll have to wait...but – but if they're okay...they'll know that we knew something was up if we're fine!' he worried, his hands shaking furiously.

'Then we'll just have to look like we've had a duel...' she reasoned 'we'll have to do it on each other...I feel so awful though Pete! It's not like we had a choice! We only said we wouldn't tell them...we didn't lead them into this!' her voice caught, as the hysteria grew.

Peter considered telling her the truth for a moment, but the self hatred she seemed to feel at having merely kept silent told him enough about what her reaction would be if she discovered that he had, in fact, set this up.

'I know Ely...it's okay shhhhh... it's not our fault' he lied softly.

* * *

'Now, it seems that we have a selection of Gryffindors to deal with' Lucius smirked, and all the Death Eaters laughed chillingly.

'But who to deal with first? How about we play some games with the Mudblood?' he spat, and Bellatrix cackled as she threw Lily forward into the centre of the cave.

'NO!' James yelled, struggling frantically against Goyle 'LEAVE HER ALONE!'

'It seems we have a Blood Traitor present' Lucius remarked coolly. 'Well if he seems so insistent, we can show him, what we do to Blood Traitors as well as Mudbloods'

Goyle dragged James forward until he was beside Lily. He reached out for her hand and grasped it tightly, trying desperately to think of a way that he could protect her.

'Leave her out of this! Just take me!' he shouted at Lucius, who merely grinned at the demand.

'Crucio!'

'Crucio!'

Lily and James' shouts echoed through the room simultaneously, as did the shouts from Sirius, Alina and Remus.  
'LEAVE THEM ALONE!' Alina yelled, and watched with relief as Goyle and Bellatrix were pushed backwards. She knew it would have little effect, but the knowledge that her powers were still present was enough to create a glimmer of hope.

'Oh ho!' Lucius cried 'it seems that Alina isn't quite finished with the..._mind games _after all! Imperio!' he hissed in her ear.

For a split second, a serene and calm wave washed over her, giving her the impression that she was floating, before her mind instantly rejected the curse. She felt, rather than commanded, her mind throw it's walls up, rendering the curse useless against her.

'Well that's not very fun' Lucius stated coldly 'if you don't want to play games Miss Blake, then it seems we have little use for you' he shrugged, pushing her roughly forward.

'It's your fault that all of your friends are in this situation...you couldn't even save them...and you couldn't even avenge Polly' he sniggered, and Alina struggled angrily in his arms 'so now, all of your friends are going to watch as we kill you'

'NO!'

Sirius' yell tore a hole in Alina's heart. She had thought the physical pain was unbearable, but it seemed the sound of Sirius' desperate cry was intolerably worse.  
Lucius dragged her once more, causing her to cry out as he tugged at her broken arm 'Look into his eyes Alina...I want him to see the moment that the life leaves you' he whispered softly, so only Sirius and Alina could hear.

'Alli-'Sirius gently breathed her name, and she raised her eyes to look into his, she knew this was it. She was going to die. But looking at him, being with him, it seemed to make everything better. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek as she gazed at him lovingly, and she prepared herself for Lucius' curse.

But it never came.

Instead a deafening alarm pierced through their ears, it bounded through the cave and seemed only to grow steadily louder and louder.

'Someone's coming!' Nott cried in shock.

'Dumbledore' Lucius spat 'LISTEN!' he yelled to the Death Eaters, who had all started shouting frantically, unsure of what to do, but with his shout they all fell silent.

'You all know the plan...and we will follow it. NOW' he shouted.

'LEGILIMANS!' the voice of every Death Eater in the room sounded unanimously with their wands pointed directly at Alina, and with a resounding crack they were gone. Leaving all of the students to fall to the floor as a result of being released so suddenly.

'Albus! In here!'

Never before had they been so relieved to hear Professor McGonnogal's voice, and each of their hearts leapt with relief at the sight of their teachers running hurriedly into the cave.

'My God...' Slughorn breathed, taking in the scene. James was holding Lily in his arms as they lay hunched on the floor, trembling. Alice lay unconscious with her head now in Frank's lap. Remus had managed to stand again, but was breathing heavily, and Sirius remained on his knees, his eyes widened with relief.

Within seconds stretchers had been summoned, and the Professors were attending to as many minor injuries as possible.

'Where's Worm- I mean Peter?!' James quickly asked Dumbledore with worry.

'Peter and Elyse are safe, they have a few minor injuries, but other than that, there is no harm done' he reassured him.

Sirius moved towards Alina, still smiling with the relief of being saved, she still remained rooted to the spot that Lucius had left her. His smile faltered slightly however, as his eyes took in her hunched figure. She was on her knees, her back arching forward so that her face was barely above the floor, and her hands were clutching her head tightly.

'Alli?' he asked gently as he reached her, and attempted to lift her head up to meet his eyes but at his touch she let out a cry of pain and jerked away from him, tugging slightly at her own hair.

'Alli?' he asked a little more frantically, glancing around to see if anyone else had noticed that something was wrong. They hadn't.

All he could hear were the strangled whimpers of pain that were emitting from Alina's chest. He grabbed her tightly, and with all the strength he could muster he pulled her hands away from her head and yanked her face upwards so that he could see her.

Her face was deathly pale, which contrasted with the blood that was smudged across it due to her head injury. But it was her eyes that terrified him. They were jet black, flickering and darting around, completely unable to focus.

'Alina!' he called desperately, but she did not even acknowledge his presence, she just continued to whimper and her hands flew back to her head.

'Professor!' he called out desperately over his shoulder, but no one seemed to hear.

'SOMEONE! HELP ME!' he yelled and turned with relief as he felt Dumbledore's presence beside him.

'What happened Sirius?' he asked urgently.

'I dunno – I – I –'

'This is extremely important Sirius...what happened?' despite keeping his voice calm, Sirius could detect Dumbledore's worry.

'They – they all used Legilimans Sir!' he choked out.

'We need to get her back to the castle' Dumbledore spoke quietly 'now.'

As Dumbledore levitated her onto a stretcher Alina's body suddenly jerked and her hands tore at the skin on her face, as she let out a blood curdling scream of agony.

**A/N: Well...as promised, a rediculously long chapter :) It's so strange...i've spent so long running this scene through my mind, yet it was the hardest to write at all and seemed to almost entirely change from my previous thoughts...how did you find it? I hope you liked it...but feel free to let me know if you didn't!? **

**Thank you once againt for your AMAZING reviews!**

**Oh and Twilightluver919-Padme'nAnakin - You're back :) Yay! And your WONDERFUL review made up for your dissapearence lol :) I hope you enjoyed this one x  
**


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35:**

She was letting out anguished sobs, her breath was short and every few seconds she thrashed around, her body attempting to fight against the pain. Having refused to leave her side, Sirius held her hand gently and she grasped it in return, treating it as if it were her lifeline.  
She was vaguely aware of what was happening, every now and then she was able to push the pressure that was inclosing her mind back and return to reality.

'Please help me!' she begged, tightening her grip on the hand she was holding 'Oh God it hurts!' she moaned, and once again the darkness obscured her vision and she had to carry on fighting.

'My God Albus! What happened!' Madame Seymour gasped as they rushed into the hospital wing.

'Death Eater attack' he replied grimly 'Lily needs rest, she was tortured and fell unconscious on the way back' he told her, whilst moving around the room urgently 'Alice was under the intra Tenebrae curse, could you ask Poppy to make a potion to help her, and then tend to the others? I must ask you to help me with Alina' he instructed, levitating Alina from her stretcher and on to the bed.

'Poppy?' Madame Seymour called, and a young round faced girl appeared in the doorway 'I need your help, make a Lucis Vita potion and help with the patients...mostly broken bones I think' she glanced around the room.

'Yes of course!' Poppy looked surprised, but immediately sprung into action, and Madame Seymour swiftly moved over to Alina's bedside.

'Mr Black you should be in bed' she remarked.

'James is with Lily' he replied stubbornly.

'And Mr Potter should be in bed too'

'I'm not moving'

'Fine' she replied coolly and turned to Alina, who was whimpering quietly to herself and letting out low moans 'what on earth happened to her Albus?' she gasped.

'I'm afraid it's difficult to say Susie...it seems that each of the death eaters performed legilimans on her...'

'At once?' Madame Seymour gasped in alarm and Dumbledore nodded gravely 'but she's a -?'

'Our problem exactly' he replied.

'But you can help her?! Right?' Sirius demanded, looking from Dumbledore to Madame Seymour 'she's going to be okay? They didn't curse her! It's just legilimans!' Sirius started shouting, his eyes widening with panic.

'Sirius, please calm down' Dumbledore instructed.

'How can you say that? How can you be so calm?' he cried.

'Because we need to help Alina...'

'But Albus, how?' Madame Seymour interjected.

'It may be dangerous and it may not work...but if it does it will carry consequences' Dumbledore stared directly at Sirius.

'So? Could it save her?'

'Yes'

'Then let's do it!'

Dumbledore looked at Sirius thoughtfully, and then turned to glance down at Alina, whose pale face was now beaded with sweat.

'What the Death Eater's have done to Alina shows desperation...it seems that Voldemort is extremely anxious to obtain her...skills...on his side' he told Sirius soberly, not removing his eyes from Alina's face.

'Why's it desperate?'

'Because, Sirius, if it does not work...then it could kill her' he replied gently, and Sirius took in a sharp intake of breath.

'What do they want?' he asked frantically, his teeth tightly clenched.

'They want her powers Sirius. Just imagine! They break into her mind...she can't fight them off...they not only see every important piece of information within her knowledge...they are able to perform the imperious curse on her...they have total control.'

'And they want to use her?' Sirius asked quietly, his voice slightly breaking.

'Yes...they want to use her. They won't have to have any regards to the pain she would normally be in...So there would be no limitations to her powers...can you imagine the destruction that could cause?'

The room was deadly silent and Sirius looked at his headmaster desperately 'but there's something we can do?' he asked.

Dumbledore just stared at him for a minute, his blue eyes penetrating Sirius', and looking at him with an emotion that Sirius couldn't quite place.

'I will explain to you what it is...but it's not something you can take lightly...and as I said, it may not work...'

'Okay! I get that! So tell me...Professor' he added, realising that he sounded rude.

'Alina is using every inch of power she has within her to prevent them invading her mind, she had every defence possible put up and the strength that takes on its own is enough to cause her pain...but the pressure, the force that is fighting against that defence, is beyond anything you could imagine. If they succeed, the power of the force that will explode through her mind is enough to kill her' he paused for a second to insure that Sirius was taking in the information that he was giving him.

'One way that her mind could be protected is if there was another person, another mind that was partly joined to hers. This would confuse the principles of the Legilimans charm performed. They only cast the spell on Alina's mind, so by joining another to the equation...their force would render useless and the chord joining their minds would break...leaving Alina safe...'

'HELP ME!'

Alina's scream broke Dumbledore off, and all three of them turned to her in concern. Her eyes were widened, her head was thrown back and she let out another cry of pain and frustration 'it won't go away!' she shouted, and dissolved into tears.

'Sssshh, it's okay' Sirius soothed, gently wiping her hair from her face, and Madame Seymour performed a cooling charm to help ease the sweating.

'So how do we join a mind with hers?' Sirius asked Dumbledore urgently 'is it possible?'

'Yes it is Sirius, but it is extremely important that you understand...'

'Then tell me!' Sirius yelled 'please' he added in a softer voice.

'There is an ancient type of magic...a type of magic that is so dark, so evil, that the normal person would never even consider using it. You must understand that I would not speak of it to you unless I felt it was relevant, and unfortunately, to help you fully understand, I must do in this situation.'

'The magic I am speaking of is called a Horcrux...'

'A Horcrux?' Sirius asked, completely bemused.

'Do not feel surprised that you haven't heard of it...most people haven't. It is essentially, the act of separating a part of your soul from your body and placing it in the confines of an object...'

'Separating your soul?!' Sirius whispered in horror, looking at his Headmaster with disbelief 'how do you -?'

'I will not go into specifics Sirius, but they can only be created, once you have committed murder' he told him grimly.

'And you want _me _to-?'

'Oh goodness no! I think you've got the wrong end of the stick...what will save Alina works in a very similar principle to a Horcrux...it is to create something known as mentis infinitum, like a Horcrux it is the separation of a fragment of the soul from the body, however, it involves two people, exchanging that part of their souls, and placing them within one another...'

'And that will save Alli?' Sirius breathed.

'Yes, I believe it would...but you must think carefully, it is a lifelong bond...if the part of your soul was injured within the other person the effects could be dire...'

'I'll do it! I don't care! I'll do it...what do I have to do?'

'Alina must consent to it...there must be total trust for each other in order for it to work...'

Sirius' face fell from excitement to despair, his eyes roamed over Alina's fragile form and his heart sunk to the floor. Desperately he looked over to where Lily was unconscious.

'What about Lily?' he asked desperately.

'She's too weak' James told him from her bedside 'I don't think she could do it Padfoot...she just won't wake up...' his voice trailed off as the pain on Sirius' face increased.

'She doesn't trust me!' Sirius lent his head in his free hand, and involuntarily let out a sob 'it won't work with me –'

The room had fallen back into the uneasy silence, barring Alina's ragged breaths; her cheeks were an ominous pink that flared out against her white face. Her hair and clothes were drenched with sweat, and everyone looked at each other in worry.

'Does she even know her surroundings?' Remus asked quietly, walking over from his bed.

'I believe so' Dumbledore replied 'Alina?' he called gently.

'Alina!' he called again, this time a little more sharply.

Her head jerked so suddenly it caused Dumbledore to jump back slightly in surprise, her eyes, now jet black, finally focused on her headmaster, and her face contorted, completely laced with pain.

'It hurts' she mumbled, too weak to shout any longer.

'I know it does Alina, but you must listen to what I'm going to say –'

'It's going to make the pain go away Alina' Remus assured her.

'It will?' she breathed desperately, and then flinched as a fresh attack embarked on her mind.

'Stay with me Alina! Stay with us!' Sirius begged desperately, and with a furious effort, Alina managed to refocus on her surroundings.

'The only way we can help is if you let Sirius into your mind...'

'NO!' she screamed, causing everyone to look at her in alarm, her eyes were once again wide with horror, and they darted from face to face.  
Her response felt like a knife in the heart for Sirius. His stomach flipped nauseatingly as he took in her frightened expression. He didn't know how much longer he could take of this...how could he watch her die? Or become completely lost to him? To become a death eater would be no different from death, either way he was going to lose her, and because of his stupidity, she didn't trust him enough to allow him to save her.

'Alina, this is the only way' Dumbledore told her firmly 'Sirius will be careful, he will help you take away the pain...'

'But I don't want him to see –'

'Listen to me Alina' Dumbledore took on a tone of urgency, causing Alina to become suddenly more aware of reality 'if you don't try this, if you don't put trust in Sirius, then they will eventually break through into your mind...they will be able to gain control of you –'

'If they get control of you, they will make you kill everyone present, before returning to them...do you want that?'

'No!' she groaned, fresh tears flowing down her cheeks as her face crumpled with both pain and confusion 'but –'

'I won't hurt you Alli...I mean it' Sirius told her gently.

Her gaze darted to him and her mind suddenly flashed back to the cave, to being held in front of him about to die, and seeing the fear and pain of losing her on his face.

Silently, she nodded in agreement, and with a sudden violent attack from the death eaters, reality faded away and she was left in the darkness.

'Feel for him Alina...you'll know which force to let in'

She vaguely acknowledged her Headmaster's words as she forced her wall to stand, and screamed out in pain.

* * *

'We'll have to act quickly or we'll lose her' Dumbledore told Sirius.

'What do I do?'

' It's rather simple, just perform a simple legilimans and Alina should allow you through to her mind, if she pushes you away keep trying to gently press back, whatever you do, do not be too forceful.' Dumbledore peered over his half moon spectacles at Sirius, and he nodded to show his understanding 'what will happen once the connection is made is that you will open your mind entirely for her. You will see all of her memories, her thoughts, her experiences and she will see yours in return, and once this is done you will be connected. I must ask you once more Sirius, are you sure you wish to do this? To trust someone else with a piece of your soul?'

'I'm positive' Sirius said, and it was true, never before had he felt so sure of anything. He knew that whatever the consequences, as long as Alina was safe it would be worth it. Taking both of her hands in his, he gently pressed his lips against hers, and leaning his head closer, so that his mouth was next to her ear, he whispered gently.

'Legilimans'

* * *

For a split second she forgot what was happening. All she knew was that suddenly there was an extra force crushing into her mind. Her initial instinct was to hit out, to push the force away, and she did so. She tried to push the force away, to relieve herself from the additional pain, but it returned, it pushed back, but unlike the others it was gentle, probing her as if asking permission.

With a sudden realisation she knew who the force was. This wasn't an attack this was Sirius. Yet she was still unsure, to let him in now was to be letting him in forever. He would know everything.  
But the doubt only lasted for a minute as a sudden burst of pain seared through her head and she thrust her mind open desperately, letting him completely in.

The relief was instant.

* * *

_**July 23**__**rd**__** 1966 -Alina**_

_**Walking into her mother's room Alina was confused. It was sunny outside and the boat was ready for them to go rowing on the lake, yet her mummy was sitting in her room with the lights off and the curtains closed.  
Climbing up onto the bed and into her mother's lap Alina patted her mother's cheek with a tiny hand.  
'What's the matter mummy?' she asked, kissing her mother's wet cheek.**_

'_**Oh nothing darling' her mother gave her a watery smile and stroked her hair gently 'why don't you go and play? Mummy wants to sleep for a little while...'**_

'_**But mummy!' she suddenly became indignant 'you said we could go on the rower boat today!'**_

'_**Not today Alina, perhaps tomorrow' her mother replied tiredly.**_

'_**But you said that yesterday!' Alina whined**_

'_**Just go Alina! I don't need this right now!' her mother snapped, and Alina's eyes widened in surprise, before they filled up with tears.**_

'_**Now don't do that Alina, big girls don't cry' her mother told her stonily, her gaze suddenly hard.**_

'_**BUT YOU SAID!' Alina yelled, before angrily trying to climb off of the bed.**_

'_**WELL I LIED!' her mother shouted back.**_

'_**You're not s'posed to lie' Alina told her mother sassily before stomping out of the room.**_

_**April 15th 1967**_

'_**But I wanted a Princess Party!' Alina stomped her foot and stuck out her bottom lip.**_

'_**Well we thought it's about time to have a grown up party dear, and start socialising with children who are more appropriate for a Blake' her mother smiled tightly at her daughter.**_

'_**What's socialising?'**_

'_**Oh don't be ridiculous Lili' her father snapped from the doorway 'now why haven't you got her ready properly?' he demanded of his wife, who shrunk backwards slightly.**_

'_**Well, she –she was being difficult dear!' her mother squeaked.**_

_**Alina ran under the table, knowing what was going to happen. She peered out from under the chair, and took in the fearful look in her mother's eyes. She watched him grab her by the hair and shake her heavily, she watched him raise his fist and bring it violently to connect to her cheek.**_

_**She watched as he turned away and slammed the door on the way out.**_

'_**MUMMY!' she screamed and ran out from under the chair.**_

'_**Go away Alina, this is all your fault' her mother spat, she pushed her daughter roughly to the floor and left the room, nursing her cheek, leaving Alina sitting alone to cry.**_

'_**Happy birthday Miss Alli' a squeaky voice came from behind the breakfast bar.**_

'_**Thank you Smokey' she sobbed quietly.**_

_**September 13**__**th**__** 1968 – Sirius.**_

'_**Sirius! You're gunna get in SO much trouble!' Regulus gasped, as his brother began to climb over the fence and into their neighbour's garden.**_

'_**I don't care!' he laughed 'Come on Reg! We can explore!'**_

_**Regulus bit his lip and rocked backwards and forwards on the balls on his feet 'but there's Muggles over there!' he whispered frantically.**_

_**Sirius just laughed at his brother 'Let's go Muggle hunting then!' he grinned breaking two sticks off of the bush and handing one to his little brother 'there's your wand Reg!'**_

'_**But – but won't mother be angry?' Regulus asked quietly, his eyes shining with admiration at his older brother's braveness.**_

'_**Don't worry! We've got to fight the muggles to protect Mother!' Sirius yelled and brandished his wand before him.**_

'_**Well...okay!' Regulus grinned and with his brothers help managed to climb over the garden fence.**_

'_**Who are you?!' a young boy with an upturned nose asked them as they appeared in his garden.**_

'_**Quick Reg it's a muggle let's get him!' Sirius yelled and began pointing his pretend wand at the boy and making up spells.**_

'_**Reliminasio!' he yelled.**_

_**The little boy paused for a moment and blinked in confusion 'OOOOOH, You're playing Wizards?' he asked, and then pretended to fall on the floor 'Ahhhhh you got me!' he yelled.**_

_**Sirius looked at the boy in delight, and let out a bark of laughter.**_

'_**What's your name?' the boy asked shyly.**_

'_**I'm Sirius Black' Sirius told him boldly 'and this is my brother Reg'**_

'_**I'm Jake' the boy smiled 'do you wanna play some more?'**_

_**Sirius looked at the boy in confusion 'are you a Muggle?' he asked blandly.**_

'_**What's a muggle? Come on! You can have a go on my new bike if you want; my dad said I can come off of stabilisers soon!'**_

_**Sirius glanced over to the shiny blue bike on the floor in the garden and instantly made his decision 'sure!'**_

_**As they climbed over the fence to get home later that afternoon Sirius waved goodbye to his new friend Jake and turned to his little brother.**_

'_**I like muggles Reg. I think Mother and Father are wrong' he told him stubbornly.**_

'_**And where have you two been?!'**_

_**They both froze at the shrill yell from their mother as they landed in the garden.**_

_**Regulus instantly burst into tears and clutched Sirius' hand, but Sirius stuck his chin out stubbornly and glared at his mother.**_

'_**We went muggle hunting mother. But we like them now don't we Reg!' he announced.**_

'_**YOU BLOOD TRAITOR BRAT!'**_

_**August 31**__**st**__** 1970 – Alina**_

_**Clutching her new owl in one hand and her bag of school books in the other, Alina came bounding into her house.**_

'_**Mummy! Daddy!' she called happily, running through into the living room.**_

_**Her father was sitting in the armchair by the fire, reading the paper and her mother was sitting by the window, apparently writing a letter.**_

'_**What do you want Lili?' her father snapped looking up from the paper.**_

'_**I wanted to show you my new school things!' Alina replied indignantly 'and don't call me Lili' she added coldly.**_

'_**Don't you dare take that tone with me!' her father suddenly yelled, jumping up from the chair and throwing his paper to the floor.**_

'_**I only wanted to show you my things! What's so wrong with that!' she yelled back, the hands clutching her new belongings were beginning to shake apprehensively.**_

_**Before she had a chance to react her father stomped across the room and slapped her harshly across the face. She kept her hands tightly wrapped around her owl's cage but her books fell to the floor. **_

'_**Mummy! Did you see him!' she cried.**_

'_**You shouldn't be rude to your father Alina' her mother replied coolly, not bothering to look up.**_

'_**But mummy!' Alina pleaded 'why do you let him do it?' she asked softly, knowing her mother would understand the true meaning of her question.**_

'_**GET UPSTAIRS NOW ALINA!' her father screamed, his face turning a dark shade of red.**_

'_**You know what? I can't wait to go to Hogwarts tomorrow! I'll be away from you all year!' Alina told him boldly, before turning and running quickly up the stairs.**_

_**She was scared. She knew she would regret what she had said, but for the first time in her life she had found an escape from it all, and with Hogwarts she had discovered something she never knew that she possessed; bravery.**_

_**That night, the room was dark. The night was still. All that could be heard was the occasional car driving past the house, yet despite the late hour Alina, lay wide awake. Her heart was pounding, her body was tense, and her ears were pricked. She was waiting.**_

_**The silence continued, yet it echoed in her ears as if a thousand people were screaming; and then she heard it. The undeniable sound of creaking floorboards, the pitter patter of approaching footsteps which reflected the thumping of her heart. The sound of her bedroom door slowly being opened.**_

_**She briefly flinched as his heavy breathing reached her ears, but her face went blank as she felt the curshing body weight on top of her. She could feel what he was doing, she was aware of what was going on, but as always she allowed the numbness to consume her body. Let her mind escape to a happy place. Yet Alina could not prevent the single tear that trickled down her cheek at the final muffled grunt and the relief as the sweaty body of her father rolled off of her.**_

'_**Just remember Lili' he wheezed 'it doesn't matter where you go, or who you're with...you're always going to be mine. You're used goods and don't you forget that'**_

_**And with a snigger, he left the room.**_

* * *

'Albus they've been like that for hours...' Madame Seymour said anxiously, gazing at the motionless forms of Sirius and Alina.

'I know Susie, but they're sharing a lifetime of memories, these things will take time' he replied calmly, his eyes never leaving his two students.

'What's happening?' a small voice from the corner sounded, and James yelled in delight.

'James keep it down!' she grumbled, and allowed him to pull her into his arms.

'Thank God Lily, thank God' he whispered into her hair and pulled her back to kiss her gently 'how are you feeling?'

'A little achy for some reason' she smiled and then looked over the Alina's bed.

'Why are they crowding around her? What's wrong? What's wrong with her?' she asked frantically.

'Shhh, Lil, It's fine...Sirius' is fixing her' he told her gently.

'Sirius?' she asked with raised eyebrows, her mouth pressed into a tight line.

'Don't do that face you look like McGonagall' he laughed and then seeing her worried expression he added 'the death eaters were trying to get into her head to control her, Sirius has to do some kind of magic to put a bit of his soul in her and vice versa and now they're sharing every memory they've ever had' he told her in one breath.

'You are joking?' she asked her eyes wide with disbelief.

'Nope...not even I could come up with something that ridiculous' he told her.

Carefully, Lily climbed out of bed and on wobbly legs, made her way as quickly as she could across the room.

'Is she all right?' Alice's' voice sounded quietly as she moved past her.

'I think so' Lily smiled 'how are you feeling?'

'Shit' Alice shrugged and Lily looked at her in surprise, never having heard Alice swear before 'but don't worry I'll survive! Now, I can't get out of the bed, so go over and give me all the details, Frank's useless!' she added, sounding more like herself.

'Of course Al' Lily smiled, and rushed over to Alina's bed 'how long have they been like that she murmured in shock, taking in Alina's apparent unconscious form, and Sirius' glazed over eyes. He was sitting on the chair beside her bed, holding her hands in his and his face looking down on hers, but he did not move, and he did not blink.

'About three hours now' Remus told her gently.

'Three -?!' she began in shock, but froze when Sirius' hand moved.

'Sirius?' Dumbledore said softly, and Sirius' hand moved once again. Everyone watched in silence, hardly daring to breathe as they waited to discover whether Sirius had been successful, gradually his body seemed to relax and after a few more minutes he blinked.

'Padfoot?' James called, and Sirius' head jerked up to look at them all.

'Sirius, are you all right?' Dumbledore asked in concern.

Sirius opened his mouth as if to answer but no words came out, his throat felt completely closed up, his brow frowned in horror and his mouth felt bone dry. He knew they were waiting for an answer, but at that moment he couldn't give them one, for he was battling with his stomach to prevent himself from throwing up. He failed. Clutching his stomach he doubled over and proceeded to vomit violently, his eyes burnt with unshed tears and his mind was whirling as if it had been placed on a round-a-bout. He felt a warm hand pressed comfortingly on his back but he shrugged it off. He didn't want to be comforted.

How could he not have noticed? The hatred for her home, the bruises that covered her body when she returned after Christmas, and the Boggart being her father...all this time he had been so blind, so oblivious, and he hates himself for it.

The sickening realisation that her father had tried to rape her whilst he was staying with them hit him like a tonne of bricks and before he knew it he was hyperventilating.

'PADFOOT!' he could hear James' yell but he didn't respond, he knew words would fail him.

What could he possibly say?

His eyes, burning with tears that he refused to shed, roamed back to Alina and he jumped in alarm as she opened her eyes to meet his.

'Alli!' Lily's cry of happiness caused Alina's eyes to flicker away from him for a moment but when they returned they were just as intense as before.  
They didn't need to talk at that moment; every emotion that was running through their bodies was projected towards one another through their eyes.

Without a word, he wrapped his arms around her pulling her to him tightly, and he felt her entire body crumple as a loud sob emitted from her throat. He felt her body shaking violently with her tears and he heard her heartfelt sobs echo around the room.

'I'm – so – so –sorry!' she choked out between sobs.

His heart turned ice cold and he froze for a second 'Why would you be sorry?' he whispered in surprise.

'F-for not telling you! Y-y-you must be disgusted!' she cried, and Sirius pulled her closer to him.

'I am not disgusted! I could never be disgusted!' he whispered firmly so that no one could hear 'you've done nothing wrong Alli – it's all right! It's all right, he soothed her.

'It is?' she asked in a small voice.

'It's over now, I promise' he told her gently.

He glanced up for a second, to smile at their friends in reassurance.

'Is she okay?' Lily mouthed, her eyes filled with tears and Sirius nodded in reply.

'Well done Sirius' Dumbledore told him 'I'm very proud of you'

'Thank you Sir' Sirius managed to choke out, before he turned all of his attention back to the girl in his arms.

**A/N: Thank you all sooooo much for your reviews i'm glad you all like the last chapter :) I hope this one has lived up to the standards because NOW HE KNOWWSSS! I wasn't sure how to show his reaction but i'm trying to show he's confused atm and you'll see more later on...and if you got confused about what happened you can either ask me some questions but there will be a bit more detail into it all in the next chapter etc...**

**Please keep your reviewing because it makes me write! And seriously, if I fail my coursework then it's all your fault because the time i spent on this chapter and the last I was supposed to be doing my coursework! :)**

**Thanks x**


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36:**

The whispers followed them through the corridors, students heads turned as they walked by and conversations abruptly stopped as they approached; curiosity tore its way through Hogwarts like a forest fire.

The sudden closeness between Alina and Sirius only acted as the bellows to fuel the rumours that blazed through the castle. From what the other students could see, Alina and Sirius had gone to Hogsmeade barely civil and just a week later, were closer than they had ever been before.

He had never left her side whilst she was in the hospital wing, making her laugh and keeping her entertained by day, and by night stroking her hair as she slept, silently conveying his feelings for her. By the time she had been allowed to leave a bond had formed between them, a bond that was stronger than anything they had felt before. It was formed from the depth of their understanding for one another, from the memories of both happiness and grief that they shared. It ran deep through their veins within their blood.

It was because of this bond that Alina had allowed him to convince her to tell their friends the truth. It was the reason for her sitting with them in the common room, late at night, the weekend after Hogsmeade, completely full of dread.

Her eyes darted between her friends' faces and she pursed her lips, her defence mechanisms immediately springing up. She couldn't stand the looks of confusion and concern on their faces, for she could easily predict what their reactions would be. But the warmth on her side that was Sirius sitting beside her, and the firm grip he had on her hand allowed her to relax.  
'Are you sure about this?' Sirius muttered to her and she nodded sharply in reply, not trusting her own voice. It was at that moment that she wondered, not for the first time that week, when she had become so dependent on Sirius, when had he become her rock, her strength.

She took a deep breath in 'I have something I have to tell you' she managed to choke out, glancing up at her friends. Her voice shook slightly, and the sound of her heart beating echoed in her ears. She knew that this would be difficult; actually forming the words she had spent so many years burrowing away, trying to hide. As she spoke, she watched as their faces changed, the way they contorted into looks of shock and horror. The horrified and anguished gasps of Lily and Alice echoed through her ears and she waited for their looks of disgust and shame. But they never came. She waited for the feeling of dread and bitterness to consume her body. But they never came. Instead she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. A weight she wasn't even aware that she had been carrying until that moment. It was as if she were breathing for the first time. She raised her hand to her face and was surprised to feel the dampness of her cheeks, the tears running freely down her face, and as she felt the support of Sirius' arm wrap around her shoulder, she didn't try to stop them. She allowed herself to cry over what had happened. And finally she felt calm. She felt relieved and she felt free.

* * *

'I can't believe we're leaving tomorrow' Alice stated for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

'We gathered Al' Alina rolled her eyes and shifted her position so that she was directly in the path of the sun.

They were sitting by the lake, waiting for the boys to get out of detention and thoroughly enjoying the heat of the day.

'It just seems so surreal!' she continued 'after everything that's happened, this is the end!'

'It is strange' Lily agreed 'it doesn't seem five minutes ago that we first me...oh God do you remember that?' Lily giggled.

'Do we remember that? How couldn't we!' Alice laughed 'just before sorting when Peeves jumped out at you-'

'And you screamed like a little baby!' Alina laughed

'Well I'd just found out I was a Witch...nobody warned me about poltergeists!' Lily protested indignantly, a smile playing on her lips at the memory 'but then Alli jumped out from behind me and yelled-'

'BOO!' Alina screamed, causing Alice to jump violently and a few nearby first years to look at them in alarm 'just like that' she added with a grin.

'God, if Peeves could of had a heart attack that would have been the moment!' Lily chuckled 'he flew backwards through the walls –'

'And so my year long battle with Peeves began' Alina grinned.

'And Lily's war with Potter' Alice added.

'What?' Alina asked in confusion.

'You were too busy laughing' Lily told her with mock anger 'James made fun of me for being scared of Peeves...and from that moment I loathed him...but then Polly told him to shut up'

'Polly? Tell someone to shut up?!' Alina asked, her eyebrows raised.

'I know! But she did, and then she told me not to worry' Lily smiled sadly, and they all fell silent for a moment 'I wish she was here' she added quietly.

'Me too' Alice sighed 'it's wrong that she's not here-'

'And I could have got that Lucius Malfoy' Alina interrupted bitterly 'I should have killed him when I had the chance –'

'No Alli...killing him wouldn't bring Polly back...she wouldn't want that' Lily told her softly.

'I know' Alina replied quietly, and lay back down onto the grass, closing her eyes to stop the hot tears that had sprung up suddenly.

They all lay quiet for a moment, their thoughts wondering back to happier years. Times when Polly had been beside them, laughing and talking. Times when she was living.

It was at that moment, when Alice and Lily has small smiles spread across their faces at those memories when a loud splat and scream of anger interrupted them.

'SIRIUS BLACK I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!'

Alina's shout of anger echoed around the lake, and many heads turned to her in amusement. Lily and Alice meanwhile had dissolved into giggles as the sight of Alina met their eyes. She was drenched to the skin, her hair clinging to her face, which had turned a startling shade of red. Her eyes were narrowed in the direction of three boys, who were standing close by.

'Where's Peter?' Alice mumbled.

'Dunno, probably with Elyse' Lily shrugged 'Alina's going to kill Sirius' she commented.

'Yep' Alice grinned.

'Alina! We've got to go to the order meeting now! Why would you pick such an inappropriate time to go swimming?' Sirius taunted smoothly, as he, James and Remus sauntered over. It seemed that the ability to form words had left Alina and instead she let out a low growl of anger.

'Woah! Down Alina' Sirius laughed, but paled slightly as she pulled out her wand 'Oh come on Alli...' he began to reason, backing away. Alina just smirked in reply, and sensible, Sirius turned and he ran, pulling out his wand and throwing spells over his shoulder, whilst doing his best to avoid hers.

'DON'T BE LATE FOR THE MEETING!' Lily shouted after them, shaking her head in amusement 'do you think they'll ever grow out of trying to kill each other?' she asked lightly.

'W ell we did ask the same thing about you and James' Remus smiled 'but it happened eventually'

'Yeah, but that stopped when they got together, Alli and Sirius have already been together and they were still the same...'

'She's almost as bad as he is' James let out a bark of laughter, as Sirius was suddenly seen dangling upside down in the air, sporting bright orange hair.

'So who wants to take a bet with me on how long before they get together?' Alice asked brightly 'I'll be three Galleons for Tuesday'

'I bet they'll be together tomorrow' James added quickly.

'You're on' Alice grinned.

* * *

'Welcome everyone' Dumbledore smiled around the room 'it's nice to see that you've all returned, for what may be the most important Order of the Phoenix meeting we are having this year.

Today is the last meeting at Hogwarts, and it is today that I am going to ask you for the final time, whether you choose to continue as members. Whether it is still your choice to fight.' He paused for a moment, and looked around the room, staring into the faces of those before him

'If you choose to stay as a member from this moment onwards it will be tough. You will become active fighters in the war against Voldemort, it will be dangerous but I can assure you it is essential in these dark times. Now, I am going to ask you a question, and do not feel obliged to answering it in a certain way. I want you to be honest with your decision and to do what you feel is right for you. Is there anyone who has changed their minds about joining the Order of the Phoenix?'

The silence in Dumbledore's study was deafening, and everyone glanced at each other to see if anyone was going to speak.

'I have' the tiny voice from the back of the room may as well have been a shout. Everyone turned round to locate the voice, and their eyes all settled on Elyse.

Peter's eyes widened in shock and his jaw dropped 'B-but-' he stuttered, but she cut him off.

'After...what happened...I just don't want to do it. I only joined for Peter, I never felt comfortable about all of this' she was staring at her lap and her voice was rushed 'I am not with them, but I don't want to fight against them. I don't want to actively take that risk...I just can't' she sighed.

'That is completely understandable Elyse' Dumbledore told her softly 'and I appreciate your honesty. We do not think any less of you in fact I am proud that you have made your own mind up and not been pushed into anything. You may leave now, your friends can join you later' he smiled warmly, and she quickly got up and hurried out of the office.

'Is there anyone else?' Dumbledore asked, but no one replied 'very well' he beamed.

'Sir, what are we going to do after Hogwarts?' Remus asked politely.

'Well, we have set up a headquarters in which all of the meetings will take place. I will alert you of the first meeting and will tell you the address for headquarters, that meeting will be where we decide what roles everyone should take and what everyone is comfortable taking.' He replied calmly 'those who have careers ahead of them will not have to sacrifice them, you can easily partake in both the order and a career. We will need fighters, those who wish to take part in missions, spies, recruiters, informants. There are many different roles...'

The meeting continued for a few more hours, the new members questioning Dumbledore and lapping up the information they were being given. The information that would affect their lives from that moment onwards. Emotions flung around the room like wildfire; fear, excitement, awe and confusion.

The prospects of what was to come was both exhilarating and terrifying.

'Now, I am sure you have packing and much celebrating to do' Dumbledore spoke warmly, beaming at those in the room 'so I will let you go. But I must ask those who were involved in what happened at the last Hogsmeade visit to remain. I have a few matters in which I must discuss with them'

As the group filed out they cast interested looks over their shoulders at the remaining students, eager to know what Dumbledore wished to say to them, but Dumbledore remained patiently quiet until the last person left.

* * *

'Now, firstly, how are you all?' he asked them softly and was responded with a few meaningless grunts of which he raised his eyebrows to.

'All right I suppose' Lily told him 'but by now Voldemort must know who we are...and that we're definitely against him...and as for Alli...' she broke off, not wanting to voice the words.

'You are right to be concerned Lily' Dumbledore agreed 'Voldemort will, indeed, see this as you all defying him which will not cause him to favour you. But fighting him will bring danger with it, as well as rewards. Do not allow fear to rule your lives, for fighting against Voldemort shows just what true Gryffindors you are. However, you are right that Alina will be targeted severely.'

'Really?' Alina grimaced, pulling a face 'I suppose that makes sense...' she reasoned.

'You will not be able to return home Alina' Dumbledore told her gently 'doing so would place yourself and your family under intense danger, particularly your father as he is a Muggle...'

'Can't I go home for a little bit then' she muttered darkly, and she heard Sirius grunt in agreement with her quietly 'then where can I live?' she asked out loud.

'I believe I have a solution for that...I would like you to live at the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix Alina, I feel that it's the safest place for you to be right now...'

'That's fine with me' she grinned.

* * *

Sitting on the Hogwarts Express for the final time was both heartbreaking and exciting. They all lined up against the window in their compartment, their noses pressed against the glass of the window to catch the final glimpse of Hogwarts as the train moved off.

As the train turned the corner and the view of the castle disappeared, Lily let out a shaky breath.

'Well, off to the real world' she sighed with a watery smile, breaking the silence between everyone.

'Don't look so depressed' James grinned 'it's just the start of something new...look at the plus side, we will never get detention again!'

Lily let out a loud sigh of exasperation as the boys agreed heartily with James' words.

'No you're right' she told him dryly 'now we've got Azkaban to worry about.'

'Oh it couldn't be that bad' James laughed lightly 'I'd take Azkaban over that detention with Filch any day!' James shuddered, exchanging horrified looks with Sirius.

'Mate, so would I' Sirius agreed, paling slightly at the memory.

'What happened in detention with Fil-' Alice began but Remus cut her off.

'There's no use asking, it's been three years and they're still too scarred to talk about it' he smirked.

'Bad times' James grimaced.

As the conversation began to flow and talk moved on from horrific detentions Alina felt a small squeeze on her knee, she looks up and smiled at Sirius.

'Yes?' she asked softly, her stomach turning cartwheels as she gazed into the depths of his grey eyes.

'Do you want to go for a walk?' he murmured, his voice slightly husky.

Trying to ignore the effect it had on her Alina nodded mutely and taking the lead, walked out of the compartment, suddenly feeling nervous.

'Where the hell are they going?' Peter asked as the compartment door shut.

'What's that I hear?' James asked 'is it the sound of me winning the bet?' he grinned.

'Oh shut it' Alice shot back grumpily 'they might be going to get something to eat' she added, leaning into Frank's embrace.

'If that helps you sleep at night' James laughed.

* * *

They were walking in silence, a strong sense of discomfort suddenly forming between them, she could feel his eyes burning into the side of her face, but suddenly she felt too scared to turn and meet his gaze. She knew it was ridiculous, she felt like a little girl, but something about Sirius Black made her far too nervous. It made her feel helpless.

'So...' he began, hesitantly taking her hand in his own. If he had said anything else Alina doubted she would have heard it, the mere touch of his hand on hers sent electricity shooting through her veins, causing her to involuntarily shiver. _How did she survive without this?_ She asked herself over and over the same thing. How could something so perfect have gone so wrong before? How could something so right become so wrong? This time would be different, she knew that she could trust him; she had seen everything inside him, she knew it was meant to be.

'Alli?'

'Sorry, what?' she asked, suddenly becoming aware that he had, in fact, been speaking to her. He rolled his eyes and smirked.

'I _said, _how do you feel about living at Headquarters?' he asked.

'I'm excited! For the first time I'm looking forward to going home' she grinned 'I guess you feel the same?'

'Yeah, it'll be weird going from living with the Potters to living with Remus though...it'll probably be a lot tidier' he chuckled, and then suddenly turned to her.

They were close. The distance, or lack of it, that was between them was the first thing that Alina was aware of. She pressed her back to the carriage wall and he placed his hands either side of her, leaning in close towards her.

Her heart began to thump manically and she tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat.

'Sirius-'she began, her voice sounding foreign to her it was husky and full of emotion

'Alli' he replied throatily, his pupils darkening as they penetrated her own 'you know that I regret everything that I did to you right? You do know that?' his voice was suddenly pleading, sounding far more vulnerable than she was used to hearing.

'Y-yes' she stuttered in surprise.

'Because I need you to know that I would never – could never – do anything like that to you again' he broke off and brushed a stray bit of hair from her face.

'You are everything to me Alli...I would do anything for you, be anything for you. I love you. It's as simple as that. I want to be with you more than anything in the world...being without you has been...it's been –'

'Horrible' she finished for him simple, her mind suddenly dizzy with happiness. It seemed so surreal, for everything to feel so perfect, so easy and uncomplicated. He brought his lips down tenderly to brush against hers, before deepening the kiss. It was not erotic, or lust-filled, it was simple and meaningful. It was the time they had been apart and the longing they had for each other. It was a promise made silently between them, to love each other unconditionally.

The time was irrelevant; it could have been hours, or minutes or even seconds before they broke apart.

'I missed you' she whispered.

'I missed you more' she smiled softly before pulling her into a tight embrace 'let's never do that again okay?'

'Okay' she agreed, smiling into his shoulder.

The sound of the door leading into the carriage opening caused them to break apart, turning to see who had interrupted them.

'Oh...I- I – sorry'

Regulus Black stood in the doorway, looking both embarrassed and uncomfortable at finding himself in such a position, his eyes flashed with a sudden emotion that Alina couldn't quite place as his eyes glanced at Sirius' hands, which were located on her waist, before he turned to leave.

'Wait!' she called suddenly, causing him to freeze mid-step and Sirius' hands to dig into her waist sharply.

Regulus paused for a second, before slowly turning around to face her. His face was perfectly neutral as he looked at her, but as before, his eyes burned with something un-identifiable.

'Alli?' Sirius questioned quietly in her ear, unsure of what she was doing.

'We should say goodbye' she muttered back, before walking towards Regulus.

'Reg...' she began softly, when she was standing before him. She didn't know where to start, or what to say. Her throat burned with unsaid words, with the regret of not stopping it from coming to this.

'Alli...' he echoed the strain of trying to keep his tone even obvious in his voice.

'Once I've got off of this train we're enemies...real enemies' she frowned, the words tasting bitter in her mouth.

'I know' he replied quietly.

'I may have lied about what I wanted, but how I was with you wasn't a lie Reg...You really are too good for them, for this! 'She told him, pointing to his arm 'I just want to say goodbye Reg, I really will miss you'

She pulled him into a tight hug, refusing to allow the tears that were burning her eyes to escape. He returned the hug enthusiastically, drawing her close to him.

'I wish things were different between us Alli' he muttered, his voice cracking slightly. Alina frowned, unsure of how to take the meaning of his words and slowly pulled away, moving back to stand by Sirius.

'Sirius...?' Regulus began, eyeing his brother warily.

'I said goodbye to you when I left Grimmauld Place' Sirius told his brother coldly 'I told you to be strong, but clearly you couldn't do that. Alina may be able to see some good in you Reg, but as far as I'm concerned you're exactly the same as those other death eaters in that cave. You remember the ones that nearly killed me and Alli right?'

Sirius didn't wait for a reply; instead he took Alina's hand and led her past Regulus, heading back to the compartment with their friends.

The last thing Alina saw was the look of shock and anguish on Regulus' face, and inside, somewhere in the depths of her heart Alina felt a sharp pain twist through her body...a pain that she was positive didn't belong to her. Before they re-entered the compartment she gently kissed Sirius on the lips.

'I love you' she told him gently.

* * *

'Wow, you really weren't exaggerating when you described this place!' Lily gasped as she made her way with Sirius down the winding driveway 'it's enormous!'

'Now when do I ever exaggerate Lily?!' Sirius replied in mock shock, before he flashed her a grin.

They had done their best to keep the mood light, but if Lily was feeling even half of the emotions that were raging through himself, Sirius knew that the fury and disgust at the very sight of the house was almost unbearable.

They paused for a moment as they stood in front of the front door, staring from the huge brass knocker to one another.

'You remember the plan right?' Lily asked him quietly, the tension apparent in her tone.

'Yes' he replied shortly, feeling bitter at having to take the back seat in the operation.

'Only step in if he doesn't cooperate okay?'

'All right!' he responded indignantly.

Lily nodded and let out a sigh of tension before she lifted the knocker and knocked three times. The loud thuds on the oak door echoed around the strangely silent grounds that surrounded the mansion, Lily kept her hand deep in her pocket, wrapped tightly around her wand in case of an emergency.

There was a muffled sound of approaching footsteps before the door swung open before them, revealing and extremely skinny man wearing a dark suit.

_The Butler_ Sirius mimed to her from behind the door, and she had to fight to stop her eyebrows from shooting up.

'Can I help you?' the man asked her.

'Yes, is Mr Blake home? I'm here concerning his daughter, Alina' Lily replied lightly, smiling warmly at the man.

'_Lord _Blake is rather busy at the moment to deal with such matters' the man replied snootily and Lily pursed her lips firmly together, her eyes narrowing at the man.

'I _suggest _that you inform _Lord _Blake that I am here and to remind him that I have just qualified from Hogwarts' she responded sarcastically.

'Hogwarts?' the man asked.

'Oh it's a company in London who has some very highly distinguished clients, so I am sure it has never come to your attention' she smiled sweetly at him, her voice too soft to reveal any spite. The man narrowed his eyes before nodding his head and leaving to alert Mr Blake of their presence.

'Well that was quite harsh' Sirius smirked.

'Rude Git' Lily fumed 'who the hell does he think he is?'

'Sshh' Sirius warned, alerting her of the approaching footsteps. Once again the door swung open and Lily found herself face to face with Alina's father.

'Hello Mr Blake' she said coldly, her fingers twitching over her wand.

**A/N: Hello. Yes I am alive and I am so so soooo sorry for how long it's taken to update! I am also sorry if you hate this chapter...i hate it with a passion... After the last chapter I figured i'd left you on a gooden, so i could get my coursework done, but when I came back to it I had a seriously bad case of writers block! The problem is i had up to chapter 35 planned, and I have a bit further on planned, i just couldn't figure out how to join it all together - so I decided to just give up and put this up and put it down to a bad chapter!**

**I really am sorry for taking so long, i don't want to be one of those writers who start a story and then stop ( I have way to many of those i'm reading it's infuriating!) But i really have appreaciated all of your reviews!**

**I have tried to get on to as many of your profiles as possible to read any stories you have written, but please don't hesitate to give me the name of your story and I promise i'll review! Don't be shy, especially if it's a Sirius/OC fic (If you've looked at my favourites you can see that I have an obsession :D) But i do enjoy others as well, so i promise i'll review :D**

**Thank you for all your support and i'll work hard to stop that from happening again!**

**Thanks xxxx**


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37:**

Mr Blake's eyes narrowed slightly at the cold tone in Lily's voice and his lip curled slightly with dislike.

'I don't believe I know who you are' he replied coolly 'but I am a busy man and do not have time for time wasters' he narrowed his eyes before making to close the door on her, but Lily was too quick for him. With seeker worthy reflexes she shot her foot forward, blocking the door and stepped forward daringly.

'No, you don't know who I am. My name is Lily Evans, Alina's best friend' she told him in a voice that was slightly too cheery, extending out a hand for him to shake. Mr Blake stared at her for a split second, slightly bemused by the sudden change of tone in the girl, before he warily took her hand, eyeing her cautiously.

'She's never mentioned you' he sneered slightly, his lips twisting into a smirk. Lily tightened her grip on his hand, partly to prove that she wasn't threatened by the man, and partly because if she didn't she wasn't sure if she'd be able to stop it from flying straight to his face. She didn't think it was possible for rage to be so powerful; for it to storm through your body attacking your common sense and logic. She wanted to hurt him. She wanted him to suffer.

'Well she's told us plenty about you' Lily spat back, her voice suddenly thick with venom.

'Us?' he asked casually, his eyes flickering over her head as if to find another visitor that he had not noticed.

For some reason his calmness only increased her anger. What right did he have to be so cool? So careless. After everything he had done to Alina it disgusted her that he could act so normal, as if he were the same as anyone else. As if he was a human being.

_He deserves the Dementors kiss._

She ignored his question and instead jumped straight to the point, knowing that if she conversed further she would no longer have the will to remain calm. She took a deep breath, the last thing she wanted to do was lose her temper.

_That's why I'm the one talking to him and not Sirius _she told herself firmly _just get this over and done with._

'Alina's not coming home again' she told him emotionlessly keeping her gaze steadily on his 'I've come to collect her things.'

As her mouth formed the words her eyes watched in amazement as the man standing before her changed so drastically. His eyes darkened with rage and narrowed fiercely, mimicking the wrath of his lips which had contorted into a scowl so dark she expected a snarl to erupt from his throat. His body tensed and his huge fists curled into tight balls, making his weight and height suddenly extremely imposing over Lily in comparison to her small frame.

In the space of a few seconds the man before her had undergone a change so drastic that it almost mirrored that of Remus' change on the full moon. He had gone from someone who appeared normal, who could easily pass you in a street and not draw attention to a creature that struck a chord of fear into Lily's heart. It was like Jackyl and Hyde. Like night and day. And it horrified Lily that this was what Alina had been living with her entire life.

'Who the hell do you think you are?' he hissed at her, his voice shaking with anger 'you can leave right now and tell Alina that I expect her home before dinner. Or else.' He threatened and for a second Lily considered running. Fleeing the monster before her. But she didn't, she knew that she couldn't, Alina was depending on her and she refused to let her down. She stuck out her chin defiantly and glared back at Alina's father.

'I think that I am Alina's friend, and I am not leaving until I have collected her things...and also the money that you are going to be providing for her monthly.'

The words seemed to escape her lips before her mind had even processed them, and silently she cursed herself as she waiting for the consequences.  
She knew it wasn't part of the plan to get money from him, but she needed to gain some form of justice for Alina, and if money was what would achieve that, then money is what she would get.

'Get out of here or you'll regret it' he shouted, his face growing to a thunderous purple 'you won't be getting anything from me! Tell her that she better be back later!'

'Are you sure you won't cooperate Mr Blake?' Lily asked sweetly 'because if you don't I can _assure _you that you'll regret it' she added, smiling at him.

'YES I AM SURE!' he boomed, taking a large step towards her.

'Oh well' she sighed 'it's just I didn't want it to have to come to this...I do believe you've met Sirius, right?'

Mr Blake didn't have time to voice a reaction, there was only a split second for his face to suddenly pale drastically, and his eyes to widen in shock before he was hurled violently backwards through the air, crashing painfully against the banisters of the winding staircase.

'Nicely done' Lily approved grimly, as she turned to Sirius who was standing behind her, his wand pointed directly at Alina's father.

His face was black with rage, and his lips were twisted manically into a satisfied smirk, as he walked towards Mr Blake. His movements were deliberate and painfully slow, making him look like a predator closing in on it's prey, deliberately toying with them and drawing out those final moments.

'S- Sirius...' Mr Blake began, from his position amongst the splintered wood 'I don't know what she's told you...b-but it's lies! It's all lies!'

'Shut up' Sirius hissed, sending a silencing charm at the man, and chuckling darkly at the shocked expression on his face 'I think it's your turn to listen, don't you?' he asked lightly, finally stopping as he stood directly before the man.

'Now all Lily wanted to do was collect Alina's belongings...and a little bit extra to provide for your _daughter'_ he began, emphasising the final word 'but you just couldn't coorperate could you? If I had my way you would be dead right now' he spoke casually, as if discussing the weather 'but you wouldn't be worth the prison time' he reasoned.

'Levicorpus' he snapped, letting out a bark of laughter as Mr Blake was suddenly suspended upside down in the air.

'Now,' he began, staring coldly into the man's eyes 'firstly Lily is going to go upstairs and pack Alina's belongings' he told him, indicating Lily to go up the stairs.

For a second Lily hesitated, wondering whether it was sensible to leave Sirius alone with Alina's father and she hovered for a second trying to voice her concerns.

'Don't worry Lil, I won't kill him' Sirius told her, understanding her hesitation 'although I should' he muttered. Lily nodded her thanks and immediately made her way up the staircase, silently deciding to take her time to allow Sirius some 'quality time' with Mr Blake.

'Secondly, you are going to sign an agreement saying that you will provide, let's say five hundred thousand pounds a year to Alina?' he suggested, and immediately acknowledged the outraged look in Mr Blake's eyes 'because you see, _Albert _' he began sarcastically 'if you don't cooperate your sick little secret may be leaked to the press...and we both know you wouldn't want that don't we?'

The cold stare of hatred on his face confirmed Sirius' statement and Sirius grinned up at the man and flicked his wand in three consecutive movements, firstly causing Mr Blake to fall on a heap onto the floor, secondly countering the silencing charm and thirdly conjuring up a piece of parchment with the said agreement written on it.

'I'd be able to get out of it you know?' the man sneered 'my word would be far more respected than that of a teenage slut' he spat.

'Maybe they would believe you...eventually...but would they ever forget a scandal like that?' Sirius replied and smirked arrogantly at him as Mr Blake's mouth clamped shut to acknowledge the truth.

Silently he held out his hand to accept the quill and with a low growl of anger he signed the parchment, glaring daggers at the boy before him. As soon as the signature was complete the parchment glowed yellow and dissaperated, causing Mr Blake to jump in alarm.

'You know she's used goods right?' he taunted Sirius from the floor 'every time you touch the little _whore _just remember that I've touched her first. She's _mine_. I had her first and she will never be able to forget that, I'll always be there in the back of her mind'

It was almost as if Sirius had forgotten how to move. How to breathe or speak. His frame was so still for a second that he could have passed as a statue, his face was frozen into a look of shock as his mind had to take a moment to register what the man before him had just said.  
The stillness from Sirius was perhaps the most intimidating thing in which he could have done at that moment, for the silence was torture to Mr Blake as he sat there, waiting for the boys reaction like a criminal waiting for his verdict.

'You're right. She will never forget'

Sirius' words were forced, as if spoken through gritted teeth. His voice shook with the strain of trying to contain the obliterating rage that had erupted through Sirius' mind.

'But you will never forget either.' He continued, looking down at the man in disgust 'believe me' he whispered as he lifted his wand to point at Mr Blake.

'Conjunctivitus' he hissed, and he chuckled as Mr Blake cried out in pain his hands clutching over his eye sockets as the pain rocketed through his eyes, making it nearly impossible for him to see.

'That is for every time you looked at her in the way a father shouldn't' he told him coldly, his fingers tightening their grip on his wand.

'Sectumsumpra!' he continued, his voice rising slightly as he allowed some of his anger to seep through, and Mr Blake's cries turned into a howl of pain as deep gashes tore through both of his hands and blood poured out like a fountain.

'THAT IS FOR EVERY TIME YOU TOUCHED HER' Sirius yelled, his face suddenly contorting with utter rage and hatred.

'And this' he continued, fighting to calm his voice once again 'is for stealing her innocence' he told him, casting the stinging jinx and watching with contempt as Mr Blake grasped her groin, screaming out in agony as his manhood swelled, erupting with painful blisters and boils.

'Sirius?' Lily's voice caused Sirius to jump in surprise slightly, having not been aware of her presence.

'Yes Lily?' he asked quietly, his eyes returning to glare at the man before him.

'You forgot one thing' she spoke coldly, ropes suddenly erupting from her wand and binding him tightly 'now he can wait for someone to find him' she told Sirius, throwing Mr Blake a look of hatred before turning on her heels and marching out of the house, a trunk of belongings floating behind her.

'If you ever try to hurt her again, I'll make you wish that this was all I'd do to you' Sirius spat angrily at Alina's father, before following Lily and not once looking back.

* * *

Alina lay back on her bed, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling.

'Home' she said allowed, the words sounding strange on her lips.

_This is home._

Despite having lived there for a fortnight now, she still expected to wake up from a dream. It was a constant worry at the back of her mind, that being here, living in a house where people were constantly chatting and popping in to say hello, was too good to be real.

She sighed, and rolled over, her eyes taking in the rest of her bedroom. It was smaller than her old room, and lacked the familiar elegance of a design far beyond her years, but unlike her old room it gave her a strong sense of security.

The deep red walls which reminded her so much of Gryffindor created a warmth to the room only increased by the pictures of herself and her friends which Alice had hung clumsily.

The great bay windows made the room light and airy, destroying her old feelings of confinement and imprisonment and replacing them with freedom. Climbing off of her bed she walked over to the windows and gazed out of them into the street below. She loved that she could stare and spy on whoever she wanted as much as she liked, without having to fear them seeing her. The house was practically invisible, completely unnoticeable to any passers by and after spending so long living in a 'dream house' she enjoyed the concealment.

As her eyes fell on Alastor Moody, who was making his way across the street with a deep set scowl on his face, she felt her lips curve into a smile. Quickly she threw on a pair of jeans and one of Sirius's hoodies, and made her way out onto the landing. Meeting 'Madeye' Moody had been an experience to say the least. It had happened at breakfast that morning, when he had marched into the kitchen and given them a lecture to last a lifetime before digging into a full English breakfast. He was certainly strange, perhaps even slightly paranoid, but there was one thing they had all felt when they had met him; respect.

And his return that evening excited Alina, if living at the headquarters was going to bring such colourful people into her life then she was positive that she was going to enjoy it.

As she made her way quickly downstairs, she felt a knot of nervous excitement form in the pit of her stomach. It was the first Order meeting since they had left Hogwarts, and she could already hear people apparrating into the kitchen. She knew they were going to be a lot different...this was real life now. They were going to be openly fighting, and she was determined to give as good as she could. She knew revenge was pointless, nothing would bring Polly back...but nevertheless she knew that it was a strong part of what was fuelling her determination to fight.

'ALLI!'

Alina grinned, slightly bemused as Alice sprung on her the second she walked through the dining room door.

'_Finally _you've come down!' she continued.

'What do you mean finally? The meeting doesn't start for half an hour!' Alina laughed, shaking her head at Alice's weirdness.

'Yeah I know that!' she brushed off 'but I've got something to tell you and Lily, and I couldn't say it until you were here!'

Alice's face was slightly growing red, seemingly from the strain at having to keep in what she had to say.

'What's the matter with Alice?' a smooth voice sounded from behind Alina, and she felt Sirius' arm slip round her waist, causing a tingly sensation to shoot up her spine.

'She's got something to tell us' Lily said as James had asked the same question 'go on Al, before your head explodes!' Lily smiled.

'I'M GETTING MARRIED!' she cried.

There was a split second of silence in which everyone took in the news, before the entire room erupted with cheers and congratulations.

'B-but you're only eighteen!' Peter frowned, looking slightly confused.

'Well, with the war going on I just figured why wait?' Frank grinned pulling Alice into his arms 'I love her, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her, so why wait when we don't even know if we'll survive tomorrow.'

'You're completely right' Remus agreed 'congratulations mate!'

The room was alight with excitement, laughter ringing through everyone's ears and their faces bright with happiness. The brightest faces of all were those of Frank and Alice who were positively beaming with ecstasy.

But standing away from the group, remaining quieter than the others was James Potter. His face was pulled into a light frown as Frank's words echoed through his mind.

'_I love her, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her, so why wait when we don't even know if we'll survive tomorrow'_

'You all right, mate?' he heard Sirius ask.

'Yeah, yeah , fine' he replied automatically, not bothering to look at his best friend, because his hazel eyes were trained somewhere else. His eyes were gazing straight at Lily Evans, as the frown melted from his face and was replaced by a look of decision.

* * *

'That's it, okay...Sirius move to the left a little bit...Dorcus move closer to Remus...perfect!' Alice beamed at the perfectly positioned group in front of her, and flicking her wand quickly, she ran forwards and took her place next to Frank.

'Three...two...one' she counted 'Everyone say Snitch!'

'SNITCH!' they all yelled, laughing happily.

They had all been sitting around in the living room waiting for Dumbledore to arrive, when Alice had decided it was the perfect time for a photo, and with a lot of nagging, and frustration, she had managed to move the group into their positions.

'We should all get a copy of that' Moody growled from the back of the group and everyone turned to him in surprise at his pleasant tone.

'I told you he's a human being' James stage whispered to Sirius and they all laughed.

'Watch it Potter' Moody growled in warning, and James grinned broadly.

It was at that moment that the general chatter ceased as the door swung open and Dumbledore swept into the room. The first thing that Alina noticed was the tight strained smile on his face, the twinkle that was always in his blue eyes was suddenly not present.

Alina felt a knot form in her stomach, and she exchanged a worried look with Sirius, who had also noticed the change in the normally jolly Dumbledore.

'Welcome everybody' he spoke gravely 'I have an extremely important matter to discuss with you all.'

The concern and worry that emitted from everybody in the room was stifling, and Alina tightened her hold on Sirius' hand, preparing herself for whatever Dumbledore was going to say.

'I intended to run through basic matters with you tonight, but we have been given a tip off of Death Eater activity and it is essential that we act upon this information tonight.'

'What is the tip off, Albus?' Moody asked immediately, seemingly un-baffled by the serious tone in Dumbledore's voice.

'That they have captured five Muggles, and are torturing them. One of the Muggles is a child.'

'A child?!' the words left her lips before she could stop them as she was overwhelmed with disgust, her mind flickered back to the pain she experienced at the hands of the cruciatus curse and she physically shuddered at the thought of a child experiencing such agony.

'Yes Alina, I'm afraid so, which is why we must act immediately' Dumbledore replied calmly, the urgency however, obvious in his tone.

'But what about the Ministry? Shouldn't Aurors be alerted?' Frank asked quickly.

'I'm afraid that the Ministry has been infiltrated, Frank...they cannot be of help any longer. Which is why the information that we will gain from your presence within the Ministry as an Auror will be essential.' Dumbledore replied.

'So what are we going to do, Albus?' Arthur Weasley spoke up, squeezing his wife's arm gently to calm her down. Alina smiled warmly at Molly, feeling extremely sympathetic towards her. Molly Weasley was a lively women, and a regular presence at the headquarters, something of which Alina was extremely grateful for. She had instantly become friends with the woman and her homely manner always made Alina feel happy. Alina studied Molly's worried expression with concern.

_How does she manage to do this with three children? _She asked herself, not for the first time _and with two on the way_ she mentally added, glancing at Molly's hand which was absent-mindedly stroking her stomach.

'I have a list of names who I feel would be suitable for this mission' Dumbledore replied in an authoritive manner ' the aim is to get into the house, and remove the muggles from the place as quickly and safely as possible. We need them brought back here so that we can find out what happened and then erase the memory of the event from their minds-'

'So you think they're still alive then?' Lily interrupted, blushing slightly as all eyes moved onto her.

'Yes, Lily, I believe they are' Dumbledore smiled 'but we do need to act quickly. However, saving these Muggles is not the only aim of this mission. The lack of information that we have on Voldemort's movements is a deep concern...so it is essential that we capture at least one of the Death Eaters present on the scene.'

The silence that echoed through the room was deafening, as everyone stared at Dumbledore in stunned disbelief. Their widened eyes, soon began to dart around the room, shooting glances of discomfort towards each other and waiting for someone to voice their collective thoughts.

'Y-you mean kidnap a Death Eater?' Peter asked, a thick lump in his throat.

'Yes, Peter, I do' Dumbledore replied calmly.

'But why?!' Peter blurted out.

'To gain information as to what Voldemort's plans are, you idiot!' Sirius snapped, looking incredulous at Peter's clear confusion.

Alina raised her eyebrows as a dark look suddenly entered Peter's eyes and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment as his friend spoke so sharply to him, but almost as quickly as the look came it was gone, and instead Peter looked extremely nervous.

Alina bit her lip to suppress a smile and quickly glanced at Lily who was doing the same thing. It didn't matter how hard they tried, they would never understand Peter Pettigrew.

'You said you have a list of people to go on this mission, Albus?' Moody asked bluntly, the bark in his tone breaking Alina away from her thoughts.

'I do, Alastor' Dumbledore replied calmly, a hint of a smile in his voice 'Obviously I would be most grateful If you headed this mission'

'Of course, of course' Moody brushed Dumbledore off 'but who will I be in charge of?' he asked, his normal eye focused on Dumbledore, whilst his magical eye flickered around the room, inspecting the faces of everyone sitting there.

'Ah, of course' Dumbledore beamed, flicking his wand lightly, causing a scroll to appear before him 'Now, let's see...' he placed his half moon spectacles onto his nose and inspected the list, causing many in the room to roll their eyes. Every single one of them knew that Dumbledore knew that list off by heart, so it was hard work having to act patient as he went through such pointless procedures.

'Alice and Frank' he read, turning to Moody 'I'm sure you are familiar with these two, they are currently undergoing Auror training...Dorcus Meadows, James Potter, Lily Evans and Sirius Black' he continued 'and finally...'

Alina set her jaw firmly in determination, and stared unblinkingly at Dumbledore, waiting to be called out. She knew what they were going to do would be dangerous but she knew it was also worth it. Saving these Muggle's would put them on the scale in the fight against Voldemort and she was determined that it would be done successfully. She glanced quickly at Remus, who was sitting opposite her with an equally determined expression.

_I wonder why he hasn't been picked. _She briefly wondered, studying him with a frown. He was an extremely good student and excelled in duelling, yet she knew that her own powers put her yards ahead of him in abilities. She knew that she was a great threat to anyone who came across her, and the thought of that placed a smirk on her face. Those Death Eaters were going down.

'Benjy Fenwick'

Alina's mouth dropped open in shock and she looked at her old headmaster with incredulous disbelief. Her mouth moved slightly, as if making to form words but nothing escaped, it was as if her mind had lost the ability to form words anymore. Instead, she looked from her headmaster to Benjy Fenwick, who was nodding with grim determination. She knew that he was talented, but she was far more powerful, wasn't she? She felt her friends' eyes burning into the side of her head, but she refused to meet their gazes. She felt angry, unbelievably angry. After everything she had done, after spending the final year of Hogwarts spying for the Order, how could they make her feel so useless?

'Alli?'

Lily's cautious voice caused her head to jerk up and she realised that Dumbledore had been speaking to her.

'Sorry, what?!' she asked, grinding her teeth to try and contain her agitation.

'I was just explaining why you and Remus have not been selected...'

'Yeah, I was wondering that.' She replied coldly, keeping a steely gaze on her headmaster. She could see the slight concern in his eyes but she refused to acknowledge it.

_How could he leave me behind?_

'Remus, it is possible that Fenir Greyback may be present at the location.' Dumbledore stated, turning to face Remus. Remus' jaw twitched with suppressed emotions at the mention of the name but he remained silent 'whilst I understand that you are capable of this mission, I don't want to jeopardise yours or anyone else's safety if personal issues become involved.'

'I understand' Remus replied, his tone thick with hatred at the thought of that man. He nodded to Dumbledore in acceptance.

'Alina...' Dumbledore paused, as if considering how to handle the girl before him, he knew that she felt rejected and that she was angry, and the damage that this caused her pride was something he knew she would struggle to handle. He knew that she would never admit it, but she had inherited her father's sense of pride, and to insult her pride was no worse than to cast the Cruciatus curse on her.

'Yes?' she asked coolly.

'After what happened at Hogsmeade, Voldemort is aware even more than before of the extent that your powers can go to. The very fact that you escaped will make him want you far more that before. And after what they did to you, the pain you experienced from them, we don't know if your mind is back to the level it was at before. It may be weaker at the moment and that could put you in serious danger.'

'But –'

'Alina, listen to Dumbledore' Sirius interrupted, and flinched at the deathly glare he received from her.

'Alina, you would be both physically and mentally in danger, the Death Eaters will have been instructed that you are a prime target, by now. The fact that they will be so determined to attack you would not only place you in danger but both your friends and the success of the entire mission.'

Any words of objection Alina had were suddenly gone, and begrudgingly, she sighed in defeat.

They were going to go without her.

She was being left behind.

'Now, if I outline the plan now, Alastor can decide on specifics afterwards. This will take place, tonight.'

'If you will excuse me, Professor, it's the full moon in a couple of days and I have things to prepare, would you mind if I left now?' Remus asked politely, already beginning to stand from his seat.

'That's fine Remus' Dumbledore replied warmly 'but as I am no longer your Professor, I must beseech that you call me, Albus. Of course, anyone else, who is not involved with tonight's procedure, is free to leave. I am sure that you have to attend to your boys' Dumbledore smiled kindly as he turned to Molly.

A few people stood to leave, making their farewells at his words.

'I'll see you later' Peter called over his shoulder hurriedly as he left the room.

As the door of the room finally shut, everyone was lost for a moment in their own thoughts.

Alina sat silently, trying her hardest not to feel bitter at being left behind.

Lily's mind was whirling through hundreds of spells she had memorized, wondering what ones might come in handy later on.

Alice's and Frank's minds were jumping from sheer ecstasy as they thought of their wedding and wonder as to whether they would live to have one.

And James and Sirius, were staring at the door in concern, wondering why Remus had lied, he had never needed to prepare so early for the full moon and what the real reason was for his sudden departure.

**A/n: Thank you soooo much for all of your reviews I really appreciated them! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know it hasn't been too eventful but it's building up for the next chapter! Please keep reviewing and letting me know what you think!**

**Thank you so much x**


	38. Chapter 42

**Chapter 38:**

A cloaked figure walked hurriedly down a deserted street, his breath was raspy and he regularly turned his head as if expecting to see someone following him. The fear of being seen was making him extremely edgy, causing him to jump at each rustling of the nearby trees as the wind blew and cling to his hood to ensure his face was sufficiently covered from sight.

With a final glance over his shoulder the hooded figure turned into a dark alley way, disappearing from the sights of prying eyes.

It was the silence of the alley way that made him uncomfortable. He kept close to the filth stained walls in an attempt to sink even further into the shadows, and winced as the stench of urine and rancid rubbish reached his nose.

'This better be important, _Wormtail'_ a voice hissed from his left and Peter Pettigrew yelled in shock.

'_Shut up_!' the voice snapped, and immediately Peter fell silent.

'S-sorry...you made me jump!' he tried to defend himself, yanking his hood back up as it had fallen down after his surprise.

'Well? What is it?' the voice sneered, the smirk evident in his tone.

'I have i-information...b-but I'm only going to give it to you if you meet my conditions!' Peter's voice squeaked to the verge of breaking point, and his blood ran cold as he waited for the Death Eater's response.

'And your conditions are?' the voice responded, a clear hint of amusement in his words.

'T-that you leave Elyse completely out of this!' Peter gushed quickly, attempting to stand strong, but due to his lack of height, failing miserably.

'Hasn't she left the Order?' the voice demanded coldly.

'Y-yes. B-But I don't want her involved in any of this. Just leave her alone, don't harm her and don't go near her a-and I'll tell you anything!'

There was no response for a moment, and Peter held his breath as he waited for the man before him to make his decision.

'Very well...now what is the information?'

'T-thank you Severus! Well...they plan on striking tonight, you see...

* * *

The burning rage that had spread through Alina had run its course, and now a deep sense of concern and worry had taken its place. She had watched in grim silence, the determination on each of her friends' faces and the nerves that they were trying with difficulty to hide, as they had been told the plans for that evening.

And now, as they were about to apparate out into the unknown, Alina felt nervous.

_You're being selfish._

She had told herself that over and over, but she still couldn't destroy the fear of being left behind as everyone she loved ventured into intense danger.

'We'll be fine Alli' Sirius murmured to her as he pulled her into a tight embrace.

'You better be' she muttered back, a new wave of fear hitting her at the thought of losing Sirius.

'Or what?' he grinned at her cockily.

'Or I'll kill you!' she replied savagely.

'But what if I'm already dea-'he began, but she quickly cut him off.

'Just come back safe okay?' she pleaded, and the humorous glint in his eyes softened drastically.

'I told you I wouldn't leave you Alli, so I don't plan on doing so anytime soon, all right?' he whispered in her ear, and she nodded into his shoulder. As he began to pull away from her a part of her mind screamed at her to not let him go. To cling to him with all of her might and keep him with her in the safety of the headquarters, but her body, seemingly acting on its own behalf, ignored her orders and released him from the embrace.

As she finally managed to drag her gaze away from the stormy grey orbs that were before her, a thick lump formed in her throat at the sight of her two best friends. For the first time since she had known them, the delicacy and slightness of their builds stood out to her. Their skills as fighters seemed irrelevant at that moment, how could they possibly defend themselves up against the darkest of all beings?

'Look after them, Potter...Longbottom...or else' she growled fiercely, and both boys nodded solemnly in response.

'Good luck' she managed to croak out, and with a final smile from each of her friends, and a loud crack; they were gone.

And she was alone.

* * *

They landed with a loud resounding crack, a crack that shot through the silence of the night like a gun shot.

'Disillusionment charms' Moody commanded, and immediately they all cast the spell, cloaking them from anyone who may have glanced in their direction.

Despite the darkness, Lily's eyes canned the area, taking in their surroundings. They were in a wooded area on the top of a small hill. The trees hung over them, their branches snaking over one another creating the image of a cage. Only small chinks of moonlight managed to seep through the branches, forming grotesque and eerie shadows around them, giving the unsettling feeling that they were surrounded by a ghostly presence.

Lily clutched her wand tightly, a chill shooting up her spine. A chill that had nothing to do with the sudden breeze that had launched a bitter attack on them. She wasn't sure what the actually cause; it might have been the ominous shadows or the unnatural silence in a wood that should have been alive with nocturnal creatures, or maybe it was the sight of the cheerful cottage at the foot of the hill and the knowledge of what consumed it, but Lily Evans knew that whatever the cause was, she could feel the darkness oozing from the place they were in.

It was as if the air, the very oxygen that she inhaled had been invaded by a thick cloud of danger, causing them to breathe it in and let it invade their entire bodies.

'James?' she whispered quietly, ashamed of the slight break in her voice.

'I'm here' his deep, soothing voice sounded from beside her and she felt the warmth of his hand clasping hers.

Lily let out a small sigh as the warmth of his hand in her own spread through her arm and swept over her entire body, pushing away the terror that had engulfed her.

It never ceased to amaze her; the effect that one touch from James Potter had on her. Even now, in the pitch darkness, in perhaps one of the most foreboding situations she had ever been, her lips curled into a smile at the irony of her thoughts.

Her mind briefly flickered back to the sheer dislike and annoyance she used to feel at even the mention of his name, and now, here she was, desperately in love with the boy. Who would have guessed?

_Probably most people._

She suppressed a giggle as the realisation hit her. Everyone had always known that she and James belonged together. That is, everyone except her.

'Are you ready, Evans?' James asked her, using the old familiar nickname.

'When am I not ready, Potter' she responded with a grin.

And with a quick embrace of Alice, a grasp of Sirius' hand and a nod to the other members, the group split into their positions, and into the unknown.

* * *

Sirius waited for a moment, and watched as James and Lily faded into the darkness. The last thing he saw of his best friend was the final grin he flashed him and a quick thumbs up, before the darkness consumed them.

It was strange not to have his best friends by his side, particularly with Alina waiting for them at home. He felt strangely hollow, and alone. A feeling that he greatly despised.

'You ready, Sirius?' Benjy asked quietly, eyeing him nervously.

It was all that he could do to suppress a bark of laughter. They were about to go and start a fight with perhaps some of the most dangerous wizards of their time, and Benjy was nervous of Sirius Black? It was ridiculous.

Sirius grinned at the boy to settle his nerves 'Of course I am, mate.' He replied, and felt an instant protectiveness of the boy beside him.

He didn't know what it was. Perhaps it was the childlike innocence in the boys face, or the instant comfort that Benjy took from the grin he had just flashed to him; but walking beside Benjy, Sirius couldn't help likening him to Regulus.

They walked silently beside each other, treading carefully so as not to make a sound as they neared the cottage.

'Do you think they're still alive?' Benjy whispered, clearly referring to the Muggles.

'Dumbledore thinks so' Sirius replied, as if that settled the matter, and Benjy nodded; satisfied.

'Sirius...'

Sirius turned to Benjy in surprise at the sudden wariness in his tone.

'Yeah?' he asked.

'You don't have to reply if I'm being nosy...it's just...what if your brother was in there?' Benjy asked quietly.

Sirius was surprised at his reaction, he waited for the anger at the mention of his brother's name, but nothing came. He looked at Benjy's wide eyes and smiled sadly.

'My brother made his decision...and that means my brother's not my brother anymore, he's a death eater' Sirius told him, seriously and Benjy nodded once again.

'We're going to be fine Sirius' Benjy told him suddenly, his voice suddenly maturing 'and we're going to take down anyone who gets in our way.'

'And apparently capture one of those scumbags' Sirius growled in reply.

'But that doesn't mean that we can't do him some damage' Benjy replied, his disgust evident in his tone.

Suddenly, a loud cry from an owl echoed through the air around them, and Sirius and Benjy glanced at one another.

'That's the signal, let's go' Sirius said, moving silently towards the left side of the cottage.

They reached the cottage without any problems, and they pressed themselves against the wall, their wands at the ready.

'And now we wait' Benjy muttered.

_This has to be the worst part._

Sirius thought to himself grimly, as they waited in the darkness for Moody and Dorcus to enter first, and open the window they were waiting by.

'Why do we have to wait' Benjy grumbled in agitation.

'I don't know' Sirius replied equally annoyed 'something about scanning the perimeter...' he muttered, his sharp eyes constantly scanning the area around them.

'I think they're inside now' Benjy muttered, and they waited in apprehension.

It was in that moment, in the split second where their breathing ceased so as they could hear clearer, and the silence suddenly seemed deafening around them, when the thunderous cracks of people apparating sounded throughout the perimeters of the house.

Sirius tried to ignore the curdling scream of terror that sounded from the other side of the house, and the sudden explosion that sounded as a wall within the house was blasted through. Instead he sprung into action, his eyes flicking between each of the three Death Eaters before him, and his wand twisting and twirling in lightening speed movements as he delivered spell after spell at the attacking figures.

It was a split second after he had sprung into action before Benjy reacted, but he soon felt the presence of his friend beside him, fighting with equally intense vigour.

As an unknown spell narrowly missed his head, and hit the wall behind him, causing it to explode and crumble. Sirius suddenly became aware of the seriousness of their situation. They weren't the ones attacking; they were defending.

The Death Eaters had known they were coming and now they were left fighting for their lives. Sirius didn't pause to ponder over the situation, and any sense of honour that he had once held when duelling flew out the window. A cool rage swept through him, and as a result it blew the darkest curses he knew to the front of his mind.

With a sharp slashing movement he flung a curse at the nearest Death Eater, catching him on his left side and causing him to let out a scream of agony as whatever organ it had connected with erupted inside him.

The Death Eater fell to the floor in despair, clutching his side and Benjy quickly disarmed him, following with a Stunning charm.

'Nice one, mate!' Sirius yelled, grinning broadly, as he blocked a curse that had been shot at him.

'Thanks Sirius, not to bad yourself!' Benjy shouted back, turning towards him with a bark of laughter.

It was at that moment.

The split second that Benjy let down his concentration and shared his amusement, when it happened.

In Sirius' mind, it was as if he were in a movie. It was as if time no longer existed, and the world moved in slow motion.

He glanced at his comrade through the corner of his mind, noting the laughter on Benjy's face, and then he saw the Death Eater, who was behind him, pointing his wand directly at the boy.

His mind went blank with horror and his body froze with terror as he noted the obliviousness in Benjy's face. There was no time to help. His wand was shooting spells, defending himself, as if it had a mind of its own.

All that he could do was shout a warning. His voice erupted through the air, the sheer terror and desperation obvious in his tone, and he caught the surprised and shocked look on Benjy's face.

'BENJY!'

But it was all in vain.

Benjy's wand stayed limp by his side, and he turned to the Death Eater. Taking the curse directly in the chest.

As Benjy's body flung into the air. His body ripping and tearing into shreds, his blood erupting through the air like volcanic lava; the world suddenly went dead.

His body kept moving. His wand kept reacting. But something changed wit in Sirius. He was blind to everything, except the look on Benjy's face, just before it happened. Anger beyond anything he had ever felt possessed him. With a cry, so inhuman and animalistic he barely recognised it as his own, he threw himself forward, shooting curse after curse at the figures before him.

Trying desperately to ignore the gruesome remains of Benjy Fenwick.

* * *

It was as if their worst nightmares had come true. They stood in the garden of the cottage, completely surrounded by Death Eaters.

They were going to die here. This was it.

Lily kept her wand pointed before her, standing by James' side. It was as if that tiny piece of wood was her lifeline, and she refused to let it go. There were six of them. She didn't need to be a mathematician to know that their chances of survival were pretty low.

It was taking everything she had to not break down, to stand firm, and she knew that she couldn't give in to the part of her that wanted to scream and cry like a child.

She glanced at James; his face was full of rage and despair. He eyed each of the Death Eaters, and took a step forward, as if trying to block her from their attacks. And that simple action, the tiny movement, nearly broke her heart.

She knew without a doubt, that if he could he would happily lay his life down instead of hers, and it was that thought, more than anything else, that made her want to cry.

'We will ask you one more time' one of the figures spoke coldly 'join us, and we will spare you.'

Lily watched as James narrowed his eyes at the speaker and opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off from an animalistic howl of horror that rung through the air around them.

The despair that rang through each note of the cry was so thick, so desperate that Lily's face paled instantly and her legs suddenly turned to jelly. She glanced at James and her heart missed a beat. She knew that he had recognized the owner of the cry, because his face spoke words his voice could not. His eyes were wide with shock and he flinched as the sound of his friends suffering filled the night. He paused for a moment, inwardly battling with his emotions, before clenching his teeth and glaring at the Death Eaters.

'And we will tell you, _one more time_' he replied in arrogant defiance 'we will never join you.'

It was clearly not the answer they had wanted.

The last thing Lily noticed before the pain hit her, was the twitch of the Death Eater in front of her, as if he were about to try and stop the attack. But once the curse hit her, and she felt as if she were being torn apart from the inside out, her mind didn't give that a second thought. They screamed in agony, both of them writhing in the floor whilst the laughter of the Death Eaters rung around them.

_This is never going to end. Kill me. Kill me._

She pleaded with her tormentors silently, but she no longer had the ability to form words. When the pain stopped, it felt as if the world itself had frozen for a moment. Lily opened her eyes in amazement as suddenly she could breathe the cool air, and move freely. That moment of serenity was bliss, it allowed relief and thankfulness, but it was gone before she had a chance to really enjoy it.

The cool air that had brought such relief suddenly turned bitter cold on her skin, as if she were being attacked by invisible ice blades. The ability to move only allowed her to rise once again and stand before the Death Eaters, and the ability to think straight only allowed her to wonder how long they would taunt them before they killed them.

'Lily?'

James' voice was raspy, and his breathing was heavy as he climbed to his feet.

'Yes?' she replied in a small voice, praying that he wasn't going to say the words she thought he was going to say. She wouldn't allow him to say goodbye. She wouldn't allow her mind to comprehend that she may never see James again, or touch him, or talk to him. She refused to believe that they had no future before them, that this would be the end of a relationship that was so destined to be.

'I know you don't think we're going to get out of this...' he began but he was interrupted by a loud sneer from the Death Eaters.

'The Mudblood knows you're not going to get out of this Potter' the nearest told them cruelly, and James had to pause for a second to prevent himself from lashing out.

'But I bet we will' he continued, and Lily turned to him, her eyes wide with hope as she tried to allow herself to believe in what he was saying.

'And if I'm right then I want you to do one thing for me...'

'What?' she whispered, her voice close to breaking point.

He paused for a moment before replying, and in that moment he looked at her with an intensity that almost made her gasp out loud. His hazel eyes were consumed with pure and unconditional love, a love that was so strong and so passionate that it seemed to melt everything else away. There was no war. There was no pain, or suffering. There was James. Only James. And nothing else mattered.

'Marry me?' he breathed.

And she cried.

The tears ran freely down her cheeks as she nodded furiously. Her heart was swelling within her, spreading sheer happiness throughout her body and her skin was tingling furiously. The grin on James' face brought light into the darkness, and suddenly their future seemed bright, not bleak.

And contrasting with their happiness, through their moment of ecstasy a scream of rage ripped from a Death Eater's throat.

It was that moment of lapsed judgment, fuelled by the hatred and resentment he had felt for James Potter since they were eleven, that saved Lily and James. As Severus Snape sprung forward, forgetting about his wand or his mission, his fellow Death Eaters were too shocked to react. But James wouldn't. Yelling in surprise, James darted to the side, quickly sending a flurry of curses and spells, anything that sprung to his mind, at the surrounding Death Eater's.

Following his lead, her heart pounding with adrenaline, Lily disarmed each Death Eater, and then proceeded to attack them with everything she had.

'Nice one, Evans!' James yelled, his voice not able to contain his excitement, as Lily successfully had two Death Eater's swinging upside down in the air.

'It's called perfect wandmanship Potter!' she replied haughtily, as she dodged a bolt of purple light that had just been sent flying towards her.

'LILY! BEHIND YOU!'

The sudden yell that erupted from James mouth, sent a jet of fear into the pit of Lily's stomach, but instead of hesitating, she swung round with incredible speed, and not pausing to even see what she was protecting herself from she cast a shield around her, and deflected the curse that had just been aimed at her.

Her green eyes narrowed, as she turned to the Death Eater who had just attacked her.

'Didn't you ever get told only cowards attack from behind?' she spat, before throwing a well aimed stupefy at him, and smirking as she watched the tall figure collapse to the floor.

'Let's go!'

The command made Lily freeze, as the familiar voice met with her ears. She turned in horror to stare at the Death Eater who had spoken.

'Sev?' she breathed, hating herself for the old nick name she had spoken. She knew that this was the path he had chosen, but to see him in flesh, wearing the clothes of a Death Eater made it all seem too real. She shook her head in disbelief, and her wand dropped to her side.

_How could I attack him? After all of these years..._

She knew she couldn't. She hated herself for it, but she still couldn't let go of the boy she had once known. Snape had frozen the instant she had breathed his name, and slowly, he had turned to face her. She couldn't see the look of torture on his face, or feel the stab of pain that was hitting him over and over at having seen her tortured...and then proposed to. All she could see was a killer. And that knowledge was perhaps the hardest thing that Snape had to endure.

He raised his hand pointlessly, as if making to say something, but he knew that words were pointless now. The deed was done, and nothing could change that.

So instead, he swept over to the unconscious Death Eater, and with a loud crack dissaperrated with him, the other Death Eater's following his lead. And she watched him go.

* * *

Alina was going frantic. As she paced up and down the living room of the Headquarters, her mind was playing a reel of situations that her friends could possibly be in.

Any form of optimism had evaporated from her mind a long time ago, as she waited in the lurch for some form of information as to what was happening with the mission.

'Alina, stop pacing, it's making it worse' Peter told her from the sofa, and then flinched as she shot him a death glare.

'What do you propose I do Peter? I can't just sit there!' she snapped, letting out a growl of frustration. Her hand flew to her hair and she clutched it tightly, trying unsuccessfully to vent her stress, without causing any destruction.

'I know' he replied tightly, letting out a shuddery breath.

Instantly Alina felt apologetic, she looked at the boy before her and she could see his worry. His very demeanour was that of a frantic friend. He was constantly fidgeting, shaking his legs and his eyes were darting around the room, giving the impression of a trapped animal.

'They're going to be fine Peter' she tried to tell him soothingly, but even she could hear the falseness of her voice.

'I hope you're right' he muttered, putting his head in his hands.

As the time ticked on, the sound of the clock became poisonous to Alina's ears; it was as if someone was running finger nails down a chalk board, causing her to cringe with each movement of the hands.

Suddenly, as she continued to pace around the room, her lungs constricted. She couldn't breathe, properly. She gasped out loud, causing everyone to stare at her, as she clutched her chest in an attempt to soothe her thudding heart.

'Alina?' Dumbledore asked her in concern, but she barely heard him.

She let out a frightened squeak, and her hand flung to her mouth in surprise.

_What's happening to me?_

Her mind was asking the question over and over, but she was given no answers. Instead, an unexplainable sensation of dread invaded the pit of her stomach, causing her to tremble violently.

'Alina, what's wrong?' Dumbledore asked her again, and she opened her mouth to try and make a reply, but suddenly everything changed.

An uncontrollable rage rampaged through her, causing her fists to ball up and her teeth to grind together. She was shaking still, but it was a different type of shaking, it was the shaking of someone barely able to control their body's actions.

'Alina-'

'I DON'T KNOW!' the roar left her lips and surprised herself more than anyone around her.

She didn't understand what was happening; why she was feeling this way. It was wrong, and foreign...and gone. The emotion was gone almost as quickly as it had hit her, and she was left in the middle of the room being stared at as if she were mad.

She felt her knees begin to buckle, so she allowed herself to sink to the floor and her mind to try and explore what had happened.

'Alina?'

'I-I...what's wrong with me?' she asked, looking up with suddenly quite fragile eyes, surprising Dumbledore immensely.

'What were you feeling?' he asked her gently, giving her his hand to grasp and helping her to the sofa.

'It was so weird!' she told him, her brow furrowed in confusion 'I was fine...and then I was scared...no, not scared I was _terrified!_ And then...I was angry...' she allowed her words to hang, as she retreated back into her mind, attempting to make sense of what was going on in there.

'Ah' Dumbledore stated, as if everything was completely explained, and Alina wasn't staring at him incredulously.

'Sir?' she asked, feeling impatient to know what 'Ah' meant, exactly.

'I think that this is quite simply explained by your connection with Sirius, Alina.' He explained.

'How?' she asked.

'The emotions that you were feeling, were more than likely Sirius' emotions...you must remember Alina, that when Sirius feels something strongly, emotions that will completely consume him and leave no room for anything else; you may experience them.'

'Oh' even to her own ears, she sounded idiotic, but she couldn't think of anything else to say.

'You need to understand, Alina that this is not a usual occurrence with a situation such as your own, and whilst Sirius may be able to depict a few feelings from you, he will not experience anything nearly as powerful as you have just felt.'

'So why do I then?'

'Because of your powers. You're mind is stronger, and it can detect the part of Sirius that is within you far more easily than Sirius' can of you. It therefore will be able to include his mind as part of you.' He told her seriously, as always his blue eyes piercing into hers.

'So at least we know he's alive...' she mumbled, suddenly becoming frightened as just what had caused such a strong reaction from Sirius.

'Yeah...at least we know' Peter echoed her words, his voice trembling slightly.

An hour had gone by and they were still in limbo. Not a word of information had been sent from them and two hours had gone by since they had been due to return.

A loud crack sounded in the hall way and everyone jumped to their feet to see who it was.

_Please be them_ she silently pleaded, as the door opened, but it wasn't.

Instead Remus Lupin walked into the room, his face pale with worry and his concern edged into his face.

'Why aren't they back?' he demanded, to the room in general, looking at them all impatiently.

'We don't know, Remus' Alina told him heavily, and indicated a space next to her on the sofa. Remus paused for a moment, beginning to look frantic as he took in the worried expressions on everyone's faces, before letting out a shaky breath and taking a seat beside her.

They didn't need words to convey their emotions. Remus nodded to Peter in greeting whilst Alina entwined her hand with his, squeezing him tightly as if using him to express her fears.

'They'll be okay' he whispered.

Alina wasn't sure if he had directed the words and her and Peter or himself, but nevertheless she nodded in reply. Silently hoping for any sign of emotions from Sirius, like before. She didn't care if it scared her, she only knew that she needed an indication that he was still alive, because the suspense, the waiting; it was killing her.

The minutes ticked by and Dumbledore suddenly spoke.

'Remus, Alina, Peter?'

All three of them looked up, waiting for him to continue.

'If they don't return within the hour, we're going to find them' he told them, knowing that he didn't need to ask them to come along. All three of them nodded in reply, Peter a little more hesitantly than the others.

'They'll be okay' she whispered to Remus, mirroring his words from earlier, and he squeezed her hand tightly.

They didn't return. The waiting became painful, their minds were running various scenarios through their heads, each one worse than the others, and still there was no word.

'I believe, now is the time to run through a plan' Dumbledore said through the silence, standing up before them 'I know that this is not ideal, but you three are all qualified to do this, and I know that you will do anything to save your friends. So when we get there, Remus, I want you to go to the far side of the house...'

Alina stared intently at Dumbledore, she watched him speaking, directing his words at each of them in turn, but she heard nothing.

She blinked hard, trying to clear her vision as it suddenly became blurry, but it did nothing to help. She was fading away from them and she couldn't stop it. As she tried to call out, to tell them she what was happening to her, nothing escaped her lips. It was as if she was paralyzed, her body would not obey the commands of her mind, and fear consumed her by the Gallons.

_Move. Move. Move. MOVE!_

She screamed silently to herself over and over, willing herself to listen to her mind, but nothing happened. It was as if she were drowning in her own body, the surface was slowly slipping away as the darkness engulfed her. The last thing she heard was the distant sound of Remus' voice calling her name. And then she was gone.

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews! I'm four away from 200, so I would love you alllll forever if you get me there for this Chapter :D ... Pleasssee remember to give me the name of your story if you have one so I can review it!**

**Just to answer a question...I wasn't sure if Molly and Arthur were in the Order (now that you mention it I'm sure they weren't) So it may be a bit off..but what i'm going to do is just give them a bit of a back seat in it, so they weren't leading figures if that makes sense!**

**Thank youuu :) And i'm writing the next chapter now so it won't be long!x**


	39. Chapter 43

**Chapter 39:**

It was dark; darker than the darkest of nights or the blackest of colours. The intensity of the darkness seemed to consume her. It seemed to seep through her skin and flood through her soul. It was sly and manipulative, urging her, compelling her with its sheer intensity as it captured her soul, to shy away from her body.

At first she fought the darkness, protesting against the unfamiliar instinct of leaving the safety of her body. She pulled back, sheering away from the dark, but she was surrounded. The darkness was everywhere. It was terrifying and fascinating. It was ominous and thrilling. And it was growing stronger, as it tugged and pulled at her soul, insistent that she confirm to its plans. And with a final draw at her soul, she obliged the force, and she was lured from her body and into the darkness.

* * *

Sirius was panting slightly as he turned quickly to face one of the last two Death Eaters he was left fighting. His left arm was hanging limply by his side, and he flinched as his sudden turn caused it to jerk painfully.

His face was dripping, a thin liquid trickling down his cheek and leaving a metallic taste on his lips. For a brief second he wondered where the blood was coming from, but immediately brushed it to the side as his eyes set on the masked attacker.

At the sudden slash of his opponent's wand he immediately cast a shield, throwing a flurry of curses back to him before he even had a moment to process their purpose. He sucked in a deep breath of air, trying to soothe the sharp pain in his side, and the pounding of his heart, but came to no avail. The bitter wind of the night shot through his lungs like poison, causing them to constrict tightly with sharp pain and tear his throat violently from the inside.

His vision was growing hazy but he struggled on, shooting a final jinx at his enemy and smirking briefly with both pride and relief as he watched the body crumple before him. He let out a deep sigh of relief and felt his knees tremble slightly with his exhaustion, causing him to drop his defences for a brief second.

'Expelliarmus.'

The hissed words shot through his brain far more severely and painfully than the searing ache that had been already thudding there. As his wand sprung from his hand, he spun round in alarm to face the single Death Eater left before him.

_No,no,no,no,no,no,NO._

His mind screamed the denial of the situation to him over and over, but his heart could not deny the truth. He was alone and wandless. Standing before an armed Death Eater who was chuckling darkly as he sauntered towards him.

Sirius Black was not one to be afraid, but at that moment sheer terror ran through his veins, his eyes widened as he stared at the wand, pointed directly at his heart. And he did the last thing he could think of to bring relief. He closed his eyes tightly and pulled all of his senses together. He steadied his breath and relaxed his mind and he thought of her; he thought of Alina.

He pictured her face. The intensity of her deep blue eyes, the delicate features of her cheek bones and the softness of her lips as they curve into a smile. He thought of the thousands of expressions that passed across her face daily. He thought of the way she frowned slightly when deep in thought, and the way her face lit up like the sun when she laughed. He thought of the way she looked when she was angry; the awe and beauty that oozed off of her through the passion on her features.

And it was better. For the first time since their bond, he truly felt it. He could feel her right there with him, and that made everything okay. And as he opened his eyes his grinned wolfishly at the figure before him; accepting his fate.

The moment she had left her body a sudden wave of relief hit her. It was as if she could suddenly breathe after a lifetime of holding her breath. She felt a strange feeling of purpose shooting through her, directing her forward; leading her to a matter that instinctively she knew that was of great importance. She had no form, she had no ears to listen with or eyes to see through, but it didn't seem to matter, for out of the darkness the world suddenly came into focus.

She felt the cold wind of the night's air, it surrounded her, it blew through her as if she were part of it and not blocking it. The light of the half moon flooded through the night, bringing a shimmering light upon her surroundings, and with the light she became aware of the events before her.

Fear's fingers clenched her heart. Her gut gave a painful wrench and her blood seemed to freeze as the sudden appreciation of the horrific situation violently hit her mind. She looked on as Sirius stood before a Death Eater, whose wand was pointed straight at his heart, empty handed and completely defenceless. She felt the terror consume her entire being, and the sight of his beautiful features in the moonlight was completely heartbreaking.

His eyes were open, calm with acceptance, his lightly tanned skin seemed to glow in the light and his face was full of complete tranquillity; a serenity that appeared completely out of place of the current situation.

If she had a voice she knew that she would be screaming. She would be crying, screeching and shouting for him to do something. To find a way to defend himself. But she had no voice. She wasn't a physical being.

She looked on helplessly as the muscles in the Death Eater's arm tightened, causing him to grasp his wand tighter as he made to cast the inevitable curse.

_NO!_

The voice shot through the air like a canon, causing the Death Eater, Sirius and Alina to jump in alarm. As the Death Eater froze, physically being unable to move, Alina realised with shock that it had been her voice that had sounded. It had been her thoughts, the intensity of her anger and horror of being so close to losing Sirius.

She felt the strength and the power of her mind; her voice was commanding, it was firm and strong. As her command slowly faded and the Death Eater's arm began to move once more; she was left with the knowledge of her power.

She knew that there were no longer any boundaries. She had no body that would restrict her powers; there would be no headaches, no pain or suffering. She was powerful, and she could use it.

_Stop it now._

Her voice was soft, but direct. The impact was instant as the Death Eater once again stopped.

_Drop your wand._

The Death Eater dropped his wand.

_Take off your mask._

She watched as, with trembling hands, the Death Eater removed his mask, revealing the face of a youthful looking man whom she didn't recognise. His eyes were wide with fear and confusion as he looked around frantically for who was commanding him.

_Freeze._

He instantly froze, the fear increasing in his eyes.

_Stupify._

Her words echoed in no more than a whisper, spreading gently through the air with the wind. She watched with complete relief as the final threat to Sirius collapsed in a heap, and she smiled as his eyes widen in surprise.

_He's safe._

The final thought was private, it spread warmth through her soul and she felt her smile. She could no longer feel the coldness of the night, or the wind that blew through her. The light was fading and the darkness was growing. The last thing she saw was Sirius retrieving his wand and binding the Death Eater with thick ropes, before she was once again consumed by the darkness.

* * *

'I think she's waking up!'

'Alina? Alli? Can you hear me?'

'Her eyes definitely fluttered; can't we do anything to help her wake Albus?'

'I'm afraid we're just going to have to wait'

The voices, which had started as a distant echo, were suddenly loud and very close. She could hear the concern leaking through each word, and she could picture the worried expressions on Peter and Remus' faces.

Letting out a soft sigh, she slowly opened her eyes, blinking furiously as the brightness of the room hit her.

'Oh thank God, she's awake' Remus sighed, letting out a relieved laugh.

'Turn off the light, you idiot' Alina grumbled, squinting up at him.

'And she's as delightful as ever' Dumbledore beamed, flicking his wand to dim the lights slightly.

Still feeling slightly wobbly at once again being back in her body, Alina attempted to sit herself up, not liking everyone looking down over her. She moved hesitantly, and with difficulty due to the shaking in her limbs. Instantly she felt a firm pair of arms wrapped around her, assisting her to reach a sitting position.

'What happened, Alina?' Dumbledore immediately asked.

'Sir, she just woke –'

'I know that she has just awoken, Remus, and that she needs rest. But I would not be demanding this of her unless it was of the upmost importance' he interrupted gently, his eyes resting firmly on Alina.

'It's fine...I'm completely fine! Just a bit shaky but that'll pass' she smiled, and then noticing their questioning looks she added 'Sirius was in danger, but he's safe now'

'What do you mean 'he's safe now?' 'Remus questioned, whilst Dumbledore wore an expression of fascination and wonder on his face.

'You were drawn to him' it was more of a statement than a question, and Alina nodded at Dumbledore.

'Your bond is stronger than I imagined, although I am not surprised, with your enhanced abilities they were bound to be...now can you recall exactly what happened?'

'It was so dark...' she frowned, her mind slightly hazy over the exact place she had initially been taken to 'but it urged me away from my body...and then, it was like I was there –with Sirius. But I was just air...I guess it was just my conscious there?' she paused to look at Dumbledore, who nodded that she was correct in her guess.

'He was wandless...and alone' she frowned at the memory, shuddering slightly as she remembered the sight of it 'and I think without my body, I was more powerful...I had more control; so I stopped the Death Eater' she summed up finally, feeling herself growing stronger by the second as her body stopped shaking.

'You killed -?' Peter began, but Alina cut him off.

'No! I just stunned him, and Sirius got his wand back...and then I came back here!'

'Excellent' Dumbledore muttered, the familiar twinkle in his eye gleaming with pride 'well done Alina. I do not think that we are going to have to continue our plan on retrieving them just yet.' He decided.

Once again the silence took over the room, but this time it was no longer uncomfortable and nauseating; it was calm and patient.

'What if they don't all come back?' Peter squeaked finally, suddenly feeling panicky.

'Sirius is fine, he'll go and help the others' Remus replied 'then they'll return. We're just going to have to wait Wormtail' he muttered.

The clock ticked on, and two more hours passed by, before the resounding cracks that their ears had longed to hear shot through the house.

Immediately all of them sprang up from their seats and ran to the halfway to meet their returning friends.

Alina pushed roughly past Peter at the doorway, and sprinted frantically into the hallway.

'Sirius? Lily? Alice!' she shouted, as she pushed through the other members who had crowded her pathway.

'We're here Alli!' Lily's weak voice sounded over the noise, and Alina was almost overcome with relief.

'Oh thank God!' she cried, throwing herself at her two best friends, and pulling them into a tight embrace.

'Ouch' Alice grumbled weakly, and immediately Alina pulled away, eyeing her friends up and down so as to examine them for any injuries.

Alice looked dangerously pale, a thick pool of blood was forming on the floor by her right leg, indicating the deep slash in her thigh was losing her a lot of blood.

'Dumbledore's set up beds in the living room, go through there and you'll be dealt with properly' Remus called, from the doorway where he stood amongst his friends.

Alina's eyes followed to where his voice was coming from, and immediately locked on Sirius, who was looking extremely weak as he swayed on his feet, refusing any support offered by Remus.

'Go' Lily whispered to her, and Alina turned questioningly.

'Are you sure? You don't need help?'

'James?' Lily called in reply, and straight away James darted over to her 'I'll be fine' she grinned tiredly, the smile not quite reaching her eyes.

'Okay' Alina mumbled, and headed towards Sirius.

The moment his eyes connected with hers she could sense his longing, the desperate need for support was suddenly oozing from him and beckoning her to him. She swept towards him, wrapping her arms tightly around him, being careful not to hurt his arm any further.

She felt his lips press against her forehead and her eyes welled up with the unshed tears she had been repressing all night.

'I'm so happy you're safe' she whispered, her voice catching in the middle and she raised her face to stare intently at his.

His eyes; the grey orbs that normally sparkled with life, suddenly seemed dim. His expression was twisted with both the relief and happiness at being with her, and the tortured pain of what had occurred.

She studied his expression, and with a sickening wave of realisation she knew. She knew that something was wrong.

'Who was it?'

Those simple three words seemed to shatter the joy of the returned fighters, and the entire ensemble fell silent.

'It – it was Benjy' Sirius replied tightly, his voice shaking slightly as the emotions he had tried to prevent took over.

The silence only seemed to deepen as everyone froze as the realisation hit them. Someone had died. A friend and comrade was gone forever.

'We must collect his body. He cannot just be left there' Professor McGonagall broke the silence, her cheeks laced with silent tears.

Sirius just shook his head; his throat suddenly was far too tight as a thick lump blocked it. The mental picture of Benjy's final expression haunted him, it consumed his vision and blocked out everything else.

He was suddenly back at the cottage, he was standing beside Benjy and he was watching helplessly as Benjy's body was blasted away, destroyed beyond any form or recognition.

'Sirius?'

It was Alina's gentle whisper, full of concern that drew him back to reality, and away from the horrific memory of that night's events.

'There is no body' he choked out roughly, refusing to meet anyone's gaze apart from Alina's. 'H-he was torn a-and ripped a-and-' he couldn't continue, he bowed his head and closed his eyes tightly, strengthening his grasp on Alina.

'Its okay' she soothed, trying to ignore the despair that was flooding through her. She had to stay strong.

_For Sirius._

That thought alone stopped the tears, it brought a strength into her that helped her to lead him firmly into the living room, and convince him to rest. It allowed her to move between each of her friends and try to keep them calm.

It kept her persuasive, managing between herself and Remus to get James and Sirius to drink dreamless potions.

And finally, it allowed her to take a deep breath of relief as she watched each of the fighters heal, and then fall into peaceful sleeps.

'Alina?'

Dumbledore's calm voice caused her to jump in surprise, having been completely wrapped up in tending to her friends.

'I know that you wish to be with your friends at the moment, but there is a matter that we need you to help us with, urgently.' He informed her, and she turned to him in surprise.

'What do you want me to do?' she asked, ready to embark on whatever was necessary.

'A Death Eater was successfully captured, I need you to come with me' he told her and swept from the room.

She paused for a moment, blinking in confusion, and with a final sweeping glance over the occupants of the room, and a squeeze of Sirius' hand, she followed him.

* * *

She entered the kitchen. The first thing that she noticed was how cold it was in there. The fireplace remained unlit and a chill made its way up her spine, causing her to shudder slightly at the unpleasant sensation.

Her eyes immediately fell upon the slumped form of a man, blinded tightly by thick roped to a chair. Her throat caught as she recognised him as the Death Eater who had disarmed Sirius.

'He's the one that attacked Sirius' she stated coldly, staring at him with intense dislike.

'And with your help, Sirius was able to capture him...'

'What about the Muggles?' Alina asked suddenly.

'They are residing upstairs for the night, and by morning they will have no recollection of the events that they have experienced' Dumbledore told her 'but we must discuss this later, for we have much to do.'

'By 'we'...'

'I mean you' Dumbledore smiled at her, his eyes, however, remaining serious.

'What do you want me to do?' she breathed, suddenly becoming aware of the older members of the Order all staring at her with intense curiosity.

'We need to gather information from this Death Eater, Alina. It is crucial that we learn as much as possible from him about Voldemort's movements, or I am afraid we shall remain very much in the dark, which is not an ideal situation. There are ways of course in which we can extract truthful information, I'm sure you know what they could be?'

'By using Veritisarium?' she suggested, and Dumbledore nodded appreciatively.

'But there is a problem with that' he replied and she frowned questioningly.

'Think, girl!' Moody suddenly sounded from the corner.

'Aren't you supposed to be in bed?' she frowned, and noted that Dumbledore's lips twitched slightly.

'No time for rest at a time like this, girl!' he barked 'Constant Vigilance!' he snapped, causing Alina to struggle to fight the giggles at the phrase that James often imitated so well.

'So what are the problems?'

'Veritisarium will only cause the drinker to answer truthfully to the questions which we ask. This means we will only gain information that we specifically ask for' Arthur Weasley told her from the corner.

Understanding suddenly hit her and she sighed in understanding.

'So if someone were to be able to gain access to their mind...?' she suggested.

'Exactly' Moody nodded in approval 'you're catching on quickly.'

'We would be able to gather even the most trivial information from his mind, we would know times, dates, plans, faces...everything that he knows-' Arthur continued.

'-but you must understand that it will be exhausting- ' Dumbledore continued, but Alina interrupted.

'I'll do it' she said.

'It will require you to exercise your abilities further than you ever have before-'

'I'll do it.'

'It could even be painful...not forgetting the things that you may see could be disturbing...'

'I'll do it!' she cried in exasperation, grinning at their worried expressions.

'Look, If it is more than I can handle I can just stop all right? But we won't know until I've tried!'

'Your will power to do something never ceases to amaze me, Alina' Dumbledore beamed.

'You are extremely selfless' Arthur agreed.

'Hmph' Moody scoffed 'she's more stubborn than anything'

'Yeah Mad-eye's right' Alina laughed 'so let's get going.'

She took a seat opposite the Death Eater, and before he was brought back to consciousness, she pushed her mind gently out towards him, tenderly pushing against the barriers of his mind and exploring the weak areas.

_Those are where I'll enter his mind _she thought silently.

His mind was weaker than some that she had experienced, and she could immediately tell that he was not accomplished in occlumency, something that she related to the small audience surrounding her.

'That's not good news' Mad-eye growled lowly 'shows he's not been important enough to be taught it.'

'Shhh!' Molly told him, noticing the brief hint of annoyance on Alina's face as she was disturbed.

'Okay, wake him up' Alina spoke softly after probing his mind for a few more minutes.

With a small flick of his wand, Dumbledore awoke the stunned Death Eater. The man's eyes flickered open and widened drastically as he became aware of his surroundings and gave a yell of both shock and anger. The shout tore through his throat creating the image of a wounded animal before them.

'_Shut up!' _she hissed violently, and smirked as his mouth immediately shut closed.

'Wow, you really weren't exaggerating, Albus' she heard Mad-eye mutter to Dumbledore.

The man's eyes narrowed at her angrily, shooting sheer rays of hatred at her.

'Now, we can do this two ways. Either you will stay calm and quiet and I will let go of your mouth. Or you remain difficult, and believe me, I can do a lot more than make you shut up. Now I am going to ask you a few questions and you're going to answer me honestly, if you don't I _will _know' she told him harshly.

She relaxed her hold on him and watched as he stretched his mouth out in relief, sucking in air.

'What is your name?' she demanded.

'Albus Dumbledore' he replied, before cackling loudly.

Anger consumed her, and she had to pause a second to calm herself down and prevent herself from doing something she would regret.

'I ask again, what is your name?' she asked.

'Like I said, Albus Dumbledore' he replied in a sing song voice, snickering at his apparent 'wit.'

Alina imagined the pain she had experienced at the hands of her father. She pictured the moment her father would strike her, the way his strong fist would connect with her cheek and the sharp agony it caused her.

She built up the memory of that pain, she brought it to the very front of her mind, and then she sent it belting towards him. Causing him to cry out in both shock and pain as his head jerked sharply to the left as if being punched.

'What did you-?' he gasped but she cut him off.

'Like I said, we can either do this the hard way or the easy way.'

'Alina...' Dumbledore's voice warned.

'What is your name?' she continued, slightly calmer.

'Simon Hafewell' he told her coldly.

She pushed her mind forward, and immediately sensed the truth in his words.

'Now that wasn't too hard was it?' she asked sweetly, and grinned at the growl he retorted with.

'How long have you been a Death Eater?' she asked, throwing her mind forward and breaking the barriers of his own.

At the mention of the word 'Death Eater's' a flurry of memories bounced to the front of Simon's mind. With amazing speed she flicked through each memory, unsure of what she was quite searching for but suddenly halting as she discovered a particular memory.

'_You will need to earn the Dark Lord's approval' Lucius Malfoy hissed at the group of Death Eaters 'and now the time has come for this to happen. Our Lord was deeply impressed with the capture of those filthy Muggles by Bellatrix, and now you must all follow her lead' he told them, his voice slightly bitter as he glanced over at the dark haired woman, smirking in the corner._

'_You will strike at Kings Cross station' he smirked evilly 'you will capture any Mudblood or Blood traitor you come across, and then you will do whatever you feel is...suitable...to them that will please the Dark Lord.'_

Alina jerked away from his mind and stared in disgust at Simon.

'I only joined yesterday' he told her firmly.

'Liar' she hissed, and pursed her lips at the warning look Dumbledore gave her to prevent her from harming him again.

'They're planning to attack at Kings Cross Station' she informed the room coldly 'the newer Death Eaters have to capture any Muggle borns or 'Blood Traitors' and do what they deem is suitable to them' her lip curled in disgust.

'How did you-' Simon gasped.

'Do not lie to me, Simon' she cut him off 'because I can find out whatever I want about you, with your cooperation or without it.' She snapped.

'Now, I want you to tell me how you knew that we would be there last night.'

'I-I don't know!' he replied, looking slightly panicked by the demand.

'Who has been giving you information?' she asked, and as before pushed her mind forward. This time however, with far more force.

_A thin cloaked figure was kneeling before Voldemort, whose eyes were growing a blood red and mouth was twisted into a sadistic smirk._

'_My Lord, the traitor will not take long to crack, I can assure you that soon his loyalties will lie entirely with you' the figure reported._

_Voldemort let out a high pitched laugh of pleasure, and the surrounding Death Eater's quickly joined in, the relief that their master was pleased transparent in each of them._

Alina quickly moved on to another memory, pushing firmly into it and paying the closest attention as possible.

_They were in a dark room, lit only by the flickering light that the fire cast through the shadows. There were ten hooded figures, standing silently before their masters, waiting for him to speak. His narrowed eyes were darting cruelly between them as he slowly stroked the giant snake that was curled on his lap, hissing darkly to it under his breath._

_Suddenly the doors behind them flew open, slamming against the walls and causing them all to spin round, their wands extended to see who had interrupted them._

'_Stop!' the Dark Lord hissed, and instantly they all froze, lowering their wands and turning back to their master._

'_What is it that you want, Snape?' Voldemort demanded 'I assume that you have a reason for interrupting so rudely, and arriving so late?'_

_The clear warning in his tone sent a chill through the room, and immediately Snape dropped to his knees before his master, under the threat of being severely tortured._

'_Please forgive my lateness, My Lord. But I do indeed have a reason for both my hastiness and lateness. I beg of you to hear my news before you deal with me as you see fit?' his voice was thick with apology and silky smooth._

'_Very well, Snape. Lord Voldemort is always fair, and I shall hear your story before I take any action'_

'_Yes, My Lord. Thank you, Mr Lord' Snape bowed his head 'It is the 'Worm' he has brought news of movement of the Order of the Phoenix tonight. They plan to attack the Cottage, and retrieve the Muggles. They also aim to capture whoever they discover inside.' Snape informed him._

'_Those fools!' Voldemort cried, standing suddenly and retracting an angry hiss from Nagini as she fell to the floor._

'_You have done well Snape, and as for the traitor, I agree that it will not be long for him to submit to me fully.'_

_His eyes glinted with a dangerous flash of red as he threw his head back and laughed cruelly._

When she pulled from his mind she was panting. Her head was spinning, and she grasped the side of the table to stop herself from falling from her seat. Everything was out of focus and her head ached relentlessly.

She knew she had gone in further than was safe, she had pushed her boundaries as hard as possible to try and discover any information possible. Her face felt clammy as a hot flush took over her and she let out a shaky breath.

'Alina?' Dumbledore inquired gently 'Molly, would you get her some water? She has pushed herself to far' he continued grimly.

'I'm fine' she managed to gasp out. And she was.

It wasn't the aching of her mind that was causing her to suffer, or the discomfort of the cold sweat she had broken out in that caused every hair on her body to stand on end. It was the sickening knowledge that despite the close bonds between everyone in the Order, one of them was betraying them. One of them, had caused Benjy's death.

'It's one of us' she told them quietly, causing Dumbledore to freeze in his movements 'we have a spy in the Order.'

* * *

'Remus?'

A small voice from the corner caused Remus to jerk up from the book he was reading.

'Dorcas? Are you all right?' he asked in concern, moving over to her bed.

'Yeah' she let out a shaky breath 'I just can't sleep' she sighed.

'How are you feeling?' he asked gently.

'I- I don't know. I know it's so stupid, but I'm still shaking. It was so scary –'she let out a humourless laugh 'I don't know what I expected' she shook her head.

'Don't be ridiculous, you're not stupid! You're so brave for even continuing to fight after you were sabotaged!' he argued.

'I can't believe Benjy's gone' she spoke in shock, blinking away the tears that were burning in her eyes.

'I know, I wish I'd had a chance to get to know him better, it's not fair that he had to be taken away.' He agreed sadly, gently taking her hand in his own and squeezing it soothingly.

'At least – at least I didn't have to see it' she said quietly, finally giving into her tears 'poor Sirius, he looked so traumatized'

'He'll be okay, Sirius is strong, and so are you' he told her, sitting down beside her on the bed 'and crying doesn't make you weak. It makes you real.' He added softly.

'Thank you' she sniffled, as the tears ran rapidly down her cheeks. He gently ran his fingers through her hair and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

'Isn't this where you say everything's going to be all right?' she mumbled, leaning into his embrace.

'I think this is the part where I say that we won't stop fighting until it is' he replied, and they sat there quietly, taking solace in each other's warmth.

* * *

Firm hands were wrapped around her shoulders as she slouched in her seat.

'Come on, girl, let's get you back to the living room' Mad-eye told her gruffly.

'No! It's all right! I can carry on!' she insisted.

'I like your persistence' he told her blandly 'you'll make a good fighter and you'll do good for the Order. But right now you're no good for anyone, you need to rest' he spoke in a tone that she knew she couldn't argue with.

'Fine' she grumbled, grinning to herself, and she allowed him to lead her into the living room.

The first thing she noticed when she entered the room, was the tender embrace Remus seemed to be in with Dorcas. She tried to ignore the flicker of anger she felt at the sight.

_He's just comforting her._

She told herself firmly. Knowing that even if this wasn't the case, she had no right in feeling as if he were betraying Polly. Time had gone on, and it was time for Remus to begin moving on.

Silently she climbed into a spare bed, waiting patiently for Moody to leave the room before she jumped up and moved quickly to Sirius.

'Sirius?' she whispered.

His eyes immediately flicked open, showing her that he hadn't been sleeping.

'I've been waiting for you' he told her gruffly.

'I-I don't know what to say to you' she whispered.

'Then don't say anything' he smiled 'what happened was...it was...well I don't really want to talk about it either. But thanks for saving me' he added gently.

'Anytime' she grinned, and tugged lightly on his hand, pulling him up from his bed.

'Where are we going?' he asked in confusion, following her lead.

'I don't want to sleep alone tonight' she told him firmly 'and I don't think that you should either' she told him quietly.

'Well I'm hardly going to argue with that' he chuckled, following her up the stairs to her bedroom.

Closing the door behind her, Alina suddenly felt nervous. She knew they had done it before, but this time it was different, as if it were the first time once again.

She didn't know if it was the right time, or if it was completely wrong. All she knew was that she needed Sirius. She needed him to be with her, and to take her away from everything that had happened. And she knew that that was what he needed as well.

He needed to forget, just for that one night. And they needed to lose themselves in each other.

She turned towards him, moving incredibly close to him so that she could feel his shallow breath on her cheeks. She ran her hands through the back of his hair and kissed him gently on his cheeks, looking at him questioningly.

He brushed her hair out of her face and gazed at her with complete love flooded through his eyes. The sparkle of life once again had returned to his eyes and she smiled softly at him.

'It was so horrible Alina' he told her quietly, suddenly appearing completely vulnerable.

'I'm going to make it go away' she told him gently, kissing him once again.

This time the kiss was different, it was deeper and more purposeful. As the passion increased, and they fell back onto the bed everything she had said was true.

And for that moment at least. Every horrible thought was gone. All they saw was each other.

And everything was okay.

**A/N: Heeey :) Thank you for all of the reviews they were amazing :D Your all the best! Sorry it's taken so long to put up, i'm just about to do exams so i didn't actually plan on writing this yet, but as people thought Alina had died i thought it was a bit cruel to leave you hanging for too long! I hope you liked it! I'm afraid there may be a bit of a gap before I update because i need to focus on my A levels to get into Uni! The reason why there's been longer gaps than usual i think are because at the moment my mind has jumped well ahead to the sequal and I lost my rythem, i'm just way to exited to write that! But i'm back on track and have it all roughly planned out now!**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews and MAYBE if i get lots a amazing ones again then I'll just HAVE to update soon?**

**Thanks x**


	40. Chapter 44

**Chapter 40:**

The following year brought both agonizing and intense happiness to the members of the Order.

The murder of Edgar Bones and Marlene McKinnon hit the Order harshly, leaving a trail of grief and despair behind it.

The wizarding world was losing hope with increasing speed, as trust in both the Ministry and the Media could no longer be relied on. Families were being murdered, relatives were going missing and the element of torture was becoming more and more popular in Death Eater activity. Voldemort was growing stronger, and the only barrier that was preventing his total control of the country was the Order, which was valiantly fighting on.

Despite the many lives that had been lost, many had been saved due to their perseverance and countless plans by Death Eaters had been destroyed by the Order.

And on the 10th January 1979 Alice Cooper and Frank Longbottom were married. It had been a small ceremony; in such dire times it was unwise to gather in large crowds. But the wedding was full of compassion and love, it was sweet and pure, and for a day it seemed to take everyone's minds off of the war, and the loss it had brought upon them.

* * *

'I can't believe you're Mrs Longbottom now' Lily grinned, inspecting Alice's wedding hand for the millionth time.

'Well it'll be you in a few months' Alice laughed, her eyes sparkling with complete joy.

'Are you nervous?' Alina asked, her eyes flickering from one friend to another, wondering if it was possible for them to explode with happiness.

'I'm so happy for you Al' Elyse smiled, pulling the girl into a hug 'and just think, when the wars over, you can have a proper honeymoon with Frank' she laughed, and winked at Alice.

'I know! I can't wait!' Alice beamed 'we've got it all planned, that is if Frank's mother ever lets us out of her grasp' she chuckled.

'Oh bless her' Elyse giggled.

'Bless her? I take it you've never met the woman! She's great, she really is! But there is nothing 'sweet' about Mrs Longbottom, I doubt Voldemort would want to come up against her! She'd probably scourgify his mouth with soap and send him to bed for being bad!' she laughed.

'Well you're lucky she likes you then!' Elyse replied, her eyes wide with disbelief 'Peter's mum's nothing like that, she's like a little mouse really. She's so sweet' she sighed softly.

'Oh! Do I detect the love bug?' Lily waggled her eyebrows.

'Oh shut up you loser' Elyse giggled.

It had been two weeks since the wedding, and the girls had finally demanded for the 'girl time' they so needed to catch up on. So whilst the boys had gone to the pub, Lily, Alice, Alina and Elyse had stayed in, eaten a ridiculous amount of food and chatted non-stop. Over the year since they had left Hogwarts, Elyse had grown a close bond with the girls and had easily fallen into place as one of the group. It was difficult being unable to see her that often due to her not being part of the Order, so evenings such as this meant the world to them.

A soft knock on the door interrupted their chat and they all turned to see Dorcas putting her head round the doorway.

'Mind if I join you?' she asked hesitantly.

'Of course not, come in' Alina smiled, signalling a spot beside her.

'So...' Dorcas began 'how are you finding it with Sirius moving in?' she grinned at Alina.

After months of Sirius practically living with her, the two of them had decided to make it official, and after making a little more wardrobe space, and turning the queen sized bed into a king sized, the deed was done.

'It's actually...really great' Alina replied 'so what's going on with you and Remus?'

There was a moment silence after she asked this, as memories of Polly flickered across their minds, and Dorcas smiled hesitantly before replying.

'Remus isn't ready for a relationship' she said softly 'but he's so nice, and I guess we're just taking it as it comes. We're friends at the moment and that's it...but maybe in the future...when he's ready...' she faded off, not sure whether the girls would be pleased that she wanted to be with Remus.

Lily broke the silence 'He'll be all right eventually, it just takes time' she said soothingly 'after all, once Remus cares for someone he cares for them forever.'

'I know' Dorcas smiled 'and he loved Polly with everything he had.'

* * *

A thick layer of snow carpeted the ground as a lone figure hurriedly walked through a graveyard, heading to a familiar spot. His head was bent in an attempt to block the icy wind from his face and his hands were deep inside his pockets, one of them clasping a thin wooden wand.

Despite the cold, the moment Remus reached her grave, he sunk to his knees and softly placed down a bouquet of flowers her conjured.

'Hey you' he spoke in little more than a whisper, his fingers lightly tracing the grave before him. He looked at the stone lovingly, a deep frown settled on his face as he struggled to find the words he wished to speak.

'I miss you' he managed to choke out 'more and more everyday'

He bowed his head slightly as the hot tears began to spill down his cheeks, causing them to fall onto the grave before him.

'I'm so confused Polly' he finally admitted 'I've been spending time with Dorcas...but I feel so guilty...like I'm betraying you...and I don't know what to do.' His voice trembled, and he shivered violently in the cold.

'I still love you. More than you could ever know' he spoke more loudly, his tears increasing and causing harsh sobs to emit from his throat making it burn painfully 'and I know I always will. I just don't know what to do! I just want you to be here. I need you...'

And the words he had planned to say, everything that he had been practising in his mind the previous night and the entire morning was gone. His mind held no more control over his emotions and he dissolved into tears.

'I miss you'

* * *

'I wonder where Moony is? He was meant to meet us here an hour ago!' James said to Sirius, his brow furrowing in concern.

'Oh you know he's been a bit weird lately, he'll probably turn up eventually, he's probably with Dorcas' Sirius replied lightly, trying to calm his best friend down. Truthfully, Sirius was equally as worried. Remus had been acting strange recently, turning up late to meetings and leaving earlier than usual, and he hoped that this lateness wouldn't make him an easier target for attacks.

'If he doesn't turn up in the next half an hour we'll go and look for him' he added and James nodded.

'So is that why you've been acting so nervous tonight?' Peter asked James, who was checking his watch for the countless time that night.

'Nah, my parents are going out with Lily's parents tonight. It's the first time they're properly meeting...I just hope everything goes all right!'

Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter at this remark 'are you actually joking Prongs? It's impossible not to get on with your parents, and if Lily's parents are exactly like she's told us then they'll be fine! Your mum's are probably completely planning out your wedding right now. Where are they going anyway?' he grinned.

'To the hard rock cafe in London' he said incredulously.

'I still think it's weird that after all these years James is finally marrying Lily' Peter chuckled 'have you actually got round to saying 'I told you so' yet?'

'Actually Wormtail, I haven't' James replied looking thoughtful 'but I will' he laughed.

Suddenly Peter's easygoing expression changed, and he looked extremely nervous. His eyes flickered towards the bathroom as he spotted the figure that had entered it, and watched from the corner of his eye as he beckoned him to follow.

'I – er – I need the loo!' Peter suddenly announced, jumping up from his seat and half running towards the toilets.

After a brief pause of surprise, in which Sirius and James looked at each other in alarm, they both exploded into loud belts of laughter.

'Wonder what he ate that had him running to the toilet like that?' James asked, wiping the tears from his eyes.

'I don't know, but did you see the look on his face? I wouldn't be surprised if he was too late to make it!' Sirius laughed, shaking his head at his friend's behaviour.

* * *

'What are you _doing _here?' Peter hissed to the lone figure in the bathroom.

'Well it's been a while since we've exchanged information' the man replied icily 'and the Dark Lord is growing impatient.'

'I've told you Snape, there isn't any information at the moment' Peter growled.

'Steady Wormtail' Snape warned in a low tone 'let me put it in a way that you will understand. I want information _now _and if you don't give me anything the Dark Lord isn't going to be happy.'

'B-but there isn't anything t-to s-say!' Peter exclaimed, a thin layer of sweat building on his forehead. Before he even had a moment to shout in shock, Peter found himself thrown against the wall, his head hitting the cold tiles with a painful crack.

'What are y-you-?' he gasped, but Snape interrupted.

'If you don't give me information now, the Dark Lord will forget our little 'deal.'' He threatened ' the first thing we will do is go after that little girlfriend of yours...' he paused to smirk at the look of horror on Peter's face 'and then we will come for you' he whispered.

'I-I don't know what to –' Peter froze and his face suddenly lit up 'You-Know-Who holds a grudge over James and Lily right?' he asked suddenly, and was oblivious to Snape's flinch at Lily's name.

'Yes, he doesn't favour those who defy him' he replied coldly 'and they've done so on more than one occasion'

'Well James' parents are going to be in London tonight! He's really close to them and – and –'

'Where will they be?' Snape asked blandly.

'T-the Hard Rock Cafe' Peter replied, and sighed in relief as he was let free from his position up against the wall.

'Now that wasn't too hard was it?' Snape asked rhetorically, before sweeping away and leaving the bathroom.

After a few minutes of trying to gain composure, Peter slowly made his way out of the bathroom, and returned to James and Sirius, who were staring at him with wide grins on their faces.

'Wormtail, you're sweating!' James observed, causing Sirius to dissolve into sniggers.

'Yeah...er...well I –'

'Don't worry Pete; by the look on your face the experience alone was traumatic enough!' Sirius interrupted, causing Peter to look at him in alarm 'what I want to know, is what you ate to cause it?' he chuckled.

'Cause what?' Peter asked in confusion.

'Oh come on Wormtail, you went to the bathroom nearly ten minutes ago! It doesn't take a genius to figure out what you were doing!'

'I- I don't have diarreah!' Peter gasped in outrage.

'Course you don't mate...course you don't' James replied patronizingly exchanging a disbelieving look with Sirius.

'I don't!' Peter exclaimed.

'Hey, sorry I'm late!'

Remus' sudden arrival interrupted the conversation and they all turned to him.

'You all right, mate?' Sirius asked quietly.

'Yeah, yeah I'm fine' Remus replied 'did I miss much?'

The simple question caused James and Sirius to dissolve back into a fit of laughter.

'Peter's got the SHI-'

'All right, I don't want to know!' Remus quickly interrupted, grinning broadly at the embarrassment of Peter and the immaturity of James and Sirius.

* * *

'Well this has been so nice! I'm so glad that we've finally got to meet you both! After all, we've had to deal with James gushing about Lily for the last four or so years' Mrs Potter laughed lightly, beaming at Mr and Mrs Evans.

'Same for us! Except we've had Lily complaining about James for the same amount of time' Mr Evans chuckled, shaking his head at the way things had turned out.

'I just cannot wait for the wedding' Mrs Evans beamed 'but I can't believe I'm going to have both of my girls married off so quickly!' she added in disbelief.

'Well some parent's would be pleased to have gotten rid of their children' Mr Potter winked.

'Well they can be difficult, but I'd keep them with me forever if I could' Mrs Evans replied and Mrs Potter nodded in agreement.

'I know how you feel, first Sirius moves out and now James!' she continued.

'Sirius? I didn't realise that James had a brother?' Mr Evans asked in surprise.

'Oh well...he doesn't...really...' Mrs Potter began, turning to Mr Potter for help as to how to explain.

'Sirius' family disowned him for not following their...elitist ways...that is of pureblood supremacy, so we took him in. James and Sirius are practically brothers in every way apart from blood.'

'Oh the poor boy!' Mrs Evans sighed 'hang on, I'm sure I've heard his name before though? It's so unusual I doubt it would have been anyone else...I'm sure Alina mentioned him once?' she turned to her husband.

'Oh Alina? Yes that's his girlfriend!' Mrs Potter added enthusiastically 'she's a lovely girl! They've just moved in together!'

'Really? Oh that's wonderful! I haven't seen her in such a long time!' Mrs Evans replied.

It was the moment that their main courses were served when the lively atmosphere of the restaurant changed.

A loud crash caused many to jump from their seats, screaming in alarm as one of the walls exploded, sending chunks of hard stone and brick flying inside, falling on those sitting the nearest, and striking those who tried to escape the blast.

As quick as lightening twelve hooded figures appeared with loud cracks around the edges of the room blocking all of the exits. The screaming and cries of those trying to escape was soon mixed with the cackles of Death Eaters, who were shooting ominous lights of red and green from their wands. Within seconds people were dropping to the floor, some lifeless, many screaming in utter agony.

Mr and Mrs Potter sprang to their feet, yanking their wands from their pockets and immediately firing spells of defence back at the attacking Death Eaters.

'Listen,' Mrs Potter shouted to Mrs Evans 'get out of here now, as quickly as possible and try and get word to James or Lily that there has been a Death Eater attack' she flickered her wand at both Mr and Mrs Evans, casting a disillusionment charm on them both 'GO' she shouted, before turning back to the fight.

Fear was not a word that could even half describe the emotions of the four parents. As Mr and Mrs Evans ran desperately to find an exit, completely helpless to the attack they were under, they watched in horror as people around them were twitching in agony, as a child was tossed backwards through the air like a rag doll.

'My God, No!' Mrs Evans cried in horror, as she had to step over the lifeless body of a girl no older than Lily.

'Come on!' her husband shouted, taking her hand and pulling her urgently. Never before had he felt so useless, it was supposed to be his job to protect his wife, and yet there was nothing that he could do. He had had to leave their two new friends behind fighting, whilst he fleed for safety, and yet he knew he had no choice. He was of no use to them at all.

As they neared an exit, they slowed down, carefully eying the Death Eater blocking it.

'We can sneak around, It's our only chance...they can't see us' he whispered, and his wife nodded grimly, knowing that there was no other way.

They made to move forward, but a terrified cry caused them to pause in their movements, simultaneously they turned to see a toddler, barely able to walk, sitting on the floor and screaming desperately for her mother. A mother, that Mrs Evans fearfully expected to be the lifeless body beside the child.

'We can't leave her!' she whispered, and Mr Evans nodded in sincere agreement. Quickly he scooped down and took the child into his arms, keeping one arm tightly around his wife.

'Stay close' he whispered.

* * *

Bellatrix Lestrange was cackling with sadistic delight, shooting curse after curse at the fleeing _filth _around her. Her eyes glinted with amusement, and her wide mouth twisted into a smile as she watched the muggles fall before her. Some dying, some twitching and shrieking with the agony of the cruciatus curse. The sounds of their screams were like music to her ears.

From the corner of her eye she suddenly caught a small movement. A movement that sent shivers of delight through her skin as she thought of the praise her master would give her at her next action.

_The idiots_

She thought smugly. Watching as a child was apparently floating through mid air towards the doorway.

'Where do you think you're going you _FILTH?' _she shrieked, raising her wand and reciting the words that felt so pleasurable on her tongue.

'Avada Kedavra.'

She cackled with laughter, her voice shrill with delight as she watched the disillusioned man fall to the floor; dead. She licked her lips and sauntered towards the woman, who had fallen beside him, screaming over her husband's lifeless form, the charm cast on her completely broken.

'You must be Mrs Evans' she hissed 'well guess what _Mrs Evans? _You're going to Dieeee' she told her in a sing song voice, before once again forming the words and smirking as she watched the frightened life leave the woman's eyes.

* * *

A series of loud cracks echoed through the hallway and caused the girls to jump up in alarm, and pull their wands from their pockets.

'Who's there?' Lily called loudly.

'It is I, Albus Dumbledore, I once gave Alice Cooper detention for attempting to turn my beard pink!' he announced and Alice blushed.

'Yeah it's him' she giggled.

Four men, lead by Dumbledore rushed into the living room.

'What is it?' Alina demanded, sensing that something was wrong.

'There's been an attack, on a popular Muggle restaurant...' Dumbledore began.

'What restaurant?' Lily immediately cried, interrupting her headmaster, and gazing steadily into his eyes.

He didn't need to voice his answer for her to know the truth, she could see it in his eyes.

'No' she whispered, shaking her head, suddenly feeling sick.

'It's the Hard Rock Cafe, Lily' he told her firmly 'I've sent a Patronus to James he should be here any second.'

As if reading his mind, four loud cracks were heard at the end of his words, and James, Sirius, Remus and Peter came running in.

'What Is it?' James asked, his eyes roaming the room until he found Lily. Her expression gave him all of the answers that she needed.

'Our parents?' he choked out, his voice breaking.

'We've got to get to the Hard Rock Cafe _now' _she replied, her voice growing histarical.

Everyone turned to Dumbledore expectantly, who immediately nodded.

'We have no time for preparations, we must leave immediately' he stated.

And before he had completed his sentence, they had all gone.

* * *

'Oh My God, Please no!'

Lily's anguished cry was the first thing they heard as they arrived at the scene, and immediately understood.

The street was packed with ambulances and Fire Engines, the bodies of Policeman could be seen littering the outside of the building.

The building itself was in flames, the walls of the building had been blasted through and it looked as if it was about to collapse at any second. Nobody paused to think, nobody waited for their emotions to lead them, they just sprinted forward, their wands extended and the thoughts of destroying whoever had done this at the very top of their mind.

They caught up with James and Lily who had been first into the building and all froze at the edge of the room.

It was deserted. There was no sign of Death Eater's anywhere, but the path of destruction that they had left was as clear as day. Every table in the restaurant was tipped over, many having been blown to pieces. The floor was covered with bodies. Those of customers and workers, of adults and of children.

Elyse, who had followed them to the scene let out a scream of horror, falling to the floor and emptying the contents of her stomacH.

'Elyse!' Peter cried, immediately taking her into his arms and trying to console her.

Alina looked on in horror as James, Lily and Sirius ran through the room, looking from body to body, hoping not to find the people they were looking for.

Blinking away the burning tears she felt for her friends, she followed Dumbledore's lead and searched for survivors, trying to find those who would be in need of treatment.

A tiny cry of a child alerted her to a sign of life, and she quickly ran in the direction that it was coming from. A flash of wide blonde hair wriggling on the floor told her that the child was alive and she ran to it, pulling the tiny girl into her arms.

'Sssshh it's all right, it's all right' she crooned, quickly inspecting the child for any injuries. Finding none, she pressed her lips to the child's forehead.

'You're safe' she whispered.

'Mummy?' she asked simply, and Alina let out a sudden sob of heartbreak for the child.

'No, mummy's not here sweetie' she whispered, and lowered her eyes to look at the parent's of the child.

The sight she found made her blood freeze.

Her head felt like it was disconnected to her body and was floating through the air; leaving her feeling scarily dizzy and lightheaded.

A broken scream erupted from her throat, causing the child in her arms to scream and cry in terror, but she couldn't stop. The shock was too much for her and she quickly began scrambling away from the sight before her.

'L-L-Lil' she tried to form the name, but part of her didn't want to. She didn't want Lily to know...to have to see...

'Alli? What is it?' came Lily's terrified shout from across the room, and the sound of running footsteps followed her voice.

It was too late. There was nothing Alina could do to protect her.

And the scream that tore through the room, that ripped and blasted from Lily's throat and struck Alina through the heart like a knife confirmed this, as the red headed girl lay hunched over the bodies of both of her parents.

'James?' Alina shouted, knowing that Lily needed him and wondering where he was. She looked up and searched around the room, one arm wrapped around the child and the other embracing her friend.

Her eyes finally found them. James and Sirius, on the floor amongst the debris and the bodies, tightly together in a brotherly embrace as they sobbed into each other's shoulders.

Mourning the loss of James' parents.

**A/N: Okay...so I lied...this will be my last update before my exams...**

**I really hope you like this chapter, I feel like I kind of rushed it because once I started writing I just couldn't stop! Every time someone dies I hate myself a little but i am trying to keep to the story as best as possible...**

**I'm glad you liked the last chapter for those of you who got in there to review in time before I put this one up lol :D**

**As always, you are all AMAZING! And any new readers...or anyone who hasn't already...I am in need for some new stories to read so PLEASE keep telling me if you've written anything and i'll definately read and review! **

**Thanks**

**:) x**


	41. Chapter 45

**Chapter 41:**

He watched her sleep.

He savoured the sight of her steady breathing. He adored the way her snow white skin glowed as it was brushed by the morning light. And he smiled as her eyes flickered as a result of some unknown dream that was flooding through her mind.

He knew she'd kill him if she awoke, weeks of pestering and protests of his presence not being allowed on the morning...this morning...ran through his mind and he smirked.

_When do I ever do what I'm told...?_

She should have known.

After eight years, surely she should have known that he could never stay away from her? He was a moth, and she was his beacon, his light, engulfing him completely into her flames.

Gently, so very gently, he lightly brushed a stray bit of hair out of her face, trying to ignore the light tingles that consumed his fingertips at the touch of her skin.

He felt as if he was dancing on the edge of a cliff as he quickly withdrew his hand. He could feel a part of him, a big part of him, wanting to awaken her. Craving the look of wonder and love in her eyes that he had waited for so long. The sight of her emerald green eyes; their quick intelligence and sparkling humour.

He had been told by his friends it was fascination, you all want what you can't have. James' lips curved into a smile – perhaps that is what had started it. An arrogant boy's belief of entitlement. The belief that he deserved what he wanted. A belief that very quickly Lily had crushed.

Lily had told him it was hopeless. And there were times in which he'd believed her. Yet hope was the one thing that he couldn't give up on, it was all that he had had for so long.

And his mother. A thick lump formed in his throat as he thought of his mother. His mother's words would never, ever be forgotten.

He looked at Lily with new eyes, suddenly noticing how vulnerable she looked, her slender frame barely taking up any room in her king sized bed. The sight of tranquillity on her expression was both beautiful and tragic, for it was a look that he hadn't seen in her waking hours for far too long; three months to be exact.

But death was a part of life, as Albus had told him, and he knew that no matter how hard he wished he could never bring them back. He could never again see the look of love on Lily's face as she welcomed her parents. And that's what broke James Potter's heart.

* * *

'You've lost weight' Alina frowned at her best friend.

'No I haven't!' Lily argued, staring at herself in the mirror.

'That's not what this dress is saying' Alina countered, indicating the back of the dress of which she was lacing up.

A sudden look of panic flashed across Lily's face and her hands quickly flew to the back of the dress, where the slight bagginess to the bodice informed her that in fact, Alina was right.

'Oh Alli! What do I do? I can't go in there with a dress too big for me!' she gasped, stumbling over her words in her worry.

Alina smirked at the thick frown lines on her friend's face, before shaking her head and laughing.

'What could possibly be funny Alina?' Lily snapped through clenched teeth.

'What is funny, _Lily,_ is that considering you were the head girl of a school for _magic...'_

'Oh. Right! Wand!' Lily suddenly brightened up, her cheeks flushing a light shade of pink in her embarrassment.

'No worrrieees, I'll do it!' Alice sung, casually flicking her wand causing the dress to instantly tighten.

'Thank you' Lily muttered, returning to her act of staring at herself in the mirror before her.

She felt as if she were looking at a stranger, a familiar stranger.

She recognised the flaming red hair, the hair that her father had compared to the rising sun.

_No, do not think of that._

She knew the green eyes; the eyes that Petunia had always said were cat-like.

_And to think that that was a compliment at the age of six_.

Lily smirked slightly, her mouth curving into a smile.

And there it was.

Her mother's smile.

She felt her breath shorten, her eyes started to dampen and she paused for a moment.

_Deep breaths._

She kept reminding herself, but it was hard. Especially on this particular morning. Slowly, deliberately, she forced her breathing to return to normal.

She felt the extra moisture leave her eyes and her heart return to a steady pace.

But she still felt wrong. It all felt wrong. She shouldn't have to smile at herself in a mirror in an attempt to see her mother.

_She should be here._

Wasn't that the rule? That parents should be at their child's wedding?

'You know the best you're going to do is draw'

Alina's voice broke through her train of thought, and she looked at her friend in confusion.

'Huh?' she asked, frowning.

'With that staring competition you seem to be having with your reflection...you can't win' she smiled softly and Lily shook her head.

'They should be here' she told her friends pointedly 'Mum, Dad, Polly...everybody!'

'Don't.' Alice told her firmly, taking her hands and leading her to the bed 'don't think about that.'

'I know Lil' Alina replied gently, sitting beside her best friend 'but you can't let the fact that they're not physically here ruin your day, you know that they wouldn't want that...'

'I know Alli, but it hurts! And it's there! They're there! All the time in my mind...and God, it's driving me crazy, because I know that there's nothing I can do to get them back, but it just feels so wrong, and I'm so alone, and...and...'

The pain and desperation in Lily's eyes cut Alina like a steel blade slicing through her heart. The green eyes, which normally shone with such joy, and glanced with such calmness were suddenly wet with unshed tears of anguish, and darted around the room in a desperate search for help; for answers.

'Lily, calm down!' Alice told her 'I know it's hard...it's bloody awful! But this is NOT going to help! You need to try and relax...'

'But how Al? Tell me how? How many people have died since we've left Hogwarts? How many more are we going to lose? Will it be me? You? Everyone? I can't fucking do it! I can't lose you two, or James...or Elyse or Sirius or...'

'STOP IT!' Alice shouted and Lily shut her mouth abruptly, a stuttered sob escaping from her throat 'you cannot think like that or it will drive you mad!' she continued, grasping Lily's hand tightly.

'We're not dead. We are very much alive and you need to live for _these _moments! Not for the moments that have happened, or might come. You need to live for today, for right here...'

'Alli...help me? Please?...' Lily's broken pleads echoed through the silence of the room; it was small and fragile like the voice of a helpless child.

Alina looked at her intently, unsure of whether it would help, or whether it would just make Lily depend on her.

'I dunno Lil...'

'Just this once Alli, I just want to enjoy today...I want to be with James and forget everything else...please?'

Alina knew she couldn't say no. She could never say no to Lily, not when Lily barely ever needed, let alone asked, for help.

'Okay' she replied firmly, and Lily's eyes flashed in surprise to her own.

Blue met green, and a silent conversation took place, if only for a split second. An exchange of understanding and concern, or firmness and belief and mostly trust.

Alina held Lily's gaze and felt the confines of her mind expand. She reached out to Lily and barely needed any effort to push through Lily's barriers.

A sharp gasp escaped Alina's lips as the emotional state of Lily's mind hit her like a tonne of bricks, but she clenched her teeth and mentally imagining a golden thread, she drew in all of Lily's panic and pain, she tightened her hold on it all and kept drawing it in until it couldn't escape.

_Calm, Lily. Stay calm. Everything's okay, it's just you and James today._

_Stay calm._

Slowly, she left Lily's mind, seeping away from her friend and back to herself.

'Thank you.' Lily whispered, her face serene and worry free.

Alina nodded, taking her friends hand, and leading her to the doorway 'Now let's make an honest woman out of you' she grinned, squeezing Lily's hand.

* * *

'She's not coming'

'She is.' Remus replied firmly.

'It was all a joke'

'No it wasn't' Peter added lazily.

'She hates me'

'No she doesn't...but I do...' Sirius muttered.

'She's not coming'

'Yes she is...'

Sirius watched with sadistic amusement as his best friend paced endlessly before the members of the Order and his closest friends, as he panicked endlessly over the likelihood of Lily turning up.

'She's late!' he cried, his hand running through his hair in frustration.

'Mate, you do _not _need to be messing your hair up any more' Sirius told him, and smirked as panic once again hit James' face.

'Oh God' he groaned 'does my hair look bad? Should I do something to it?'

'James, I think we've all established that there is nothing in this world that can defeat your hair' Remus told him calmly 'it looks fine' he added to appease his friend.

'But what if she doesn't co-'

James' words were cut off by the sound of soft music playing and the doors at the end of the room opening slowly.

His mouth suddenly went dry, and his eyes fixed on the doorway, waiting for her to come into sight.

Upon her entrance, there were many whispers in the room; there were sighs and gasps of approval. But James made no sound.

For sound, words, or actions could show no fraction of what he was feeling. His brain lost all power over his body and he lost all sense of everything around him.

She was beautiful. She was more than that. More than the softest vowel or the most romantic metaphor could even begin to describe. She _was _beauty. He could feel his heart fighting against his rib cage, the pumping of his blood rushing through his veins. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach collectively taking flight, causing his legs to lose all power as his knees repeatedly started to buckle.

_How did I get here? What could I have done to deserve this moment?_

There was nothing in this world that he could have done to earn this blessing. To earn the love of this woman. And under any force, God or power above him, anything that could sense his honest feelings, he vowed to do everything he could to never let her regret her decision.

He would show her how thankful he was to have her for the rest of his life.

* * *

She knew that whoever had decorated the room, in fact, whoever had transformed the room, from that of the Order to no less than a palace, deserved praise. They deserved to be completely appreciated and thanked. But it was all lost on her.

The expression on his face. The look on her eyes. It told her what she honestly didn't need to be told.

He loved her.

It was written on every detail of his expression, every flash in his eyes and curve of his lips. It told her that everything would be fine, that she had nothing to worry about because if she died at that moment. If she dropped dead right then. She would die, knowing that she experienced something that many people would happily give their lives for.

Unconditional love.

She didn't know how she did it. All she knew was that somehow she managed to float down the aisle, in some dreamlike state and find herself before him, she found her hand in his, and she heard Albus gently addressing them both.

Her eyes never left his.

'James, if you would like to say your vows?'

Dumbledore's words brought Lily straight back to reality as she frowned at James for an explanation. An explanation for why he had not told her he would be writing his own vows.

James merely flashed a quick grin at her in return.

'Most people know that I've been chasing after you for eight years now' he begun, his voice filled with slight amusement 'and most people will agree that for at least 6 and a half of those years I was extremely unsuccessful.'

A slight giggle left her lips and she squeezed his hand gently.

'I often wondered why I continued to chase after you...out of everyone in the year, why did I continue to try?'

He was only speaking to her now, the rest of the room had melted into the background, had evaporated from existence, as he asked the question she had long been asking herself.

'I've been told it was fascination...lust...arrogance' he grinned, nodding at her at his last word 'but it was my mum who made it all clear to me' he continued, his voice suddenly becoming tight as his throat constricted around his words.

'She told me, that sometimes...if you're lucky...you'll meet someone, you'll find someone, and instantly you'll know. You might not understand it, or recognise it, but sometimes two people are meant to be, because one without the other is not a whole person, it's like they've not been given a part of their own identity.'

'Without you Lily, I'm not me. I don't know who I am without you because you are me, and I am you. My mum told me that love consumes you, it finds your strongest and sometimes worst traits and it rips them to the surface. It can make you jealous or angry or extremely pig headed and arrogant' he smirked

'But it also abolishes all of your defences, it tears away any pretences and it exposes your soul to the world. Lily, with you I am completely exposed, with you my soul is here for the world to see. Because Lily I have loved you, do love you, and will love you for the entirety of my life.'

'I love you too James' Lily choked out.

* * *

'Mrs Potter...Mrs Lily Potter' Lily looked at herself in the bathroom mirror, having taken a split second away from the party for herself.

She grinned at her reflection, and she found that she finally recognised herself. She felt like the girl who had been at Hogwarts, she felt carefree and...happy.

If she thought about it, it almost seemed surreal, how amongst all the suffering and in the depths of war, a handful of people could celebrate so genuinely on one day. And it did hurt that there were significant people missing, and she knew that it always would hurt, but at that moment she felt something that was both sad and wonderful...acceptance.

It broke her heart that she couldn't share this day with everyone she loved, but in a way it warmed her to know that they always would be there.

She could hear the congratulations from Polly in her mind, the triumphant smile she would give as she looked upon them, having known for years they were perfect for each other.

She could see the tears in her mother's eyes as she gazed at her in pride and the catch in her father's throat as he would tell her he loved her on their father-daughter dance.

And what amazed her, is that she could feel their love, something that not even death could defeat or take away from her. Their love would always live on. And for that she was grateful.

A shout alerted her that her presence had been missed.

'LILY! TIME FOR THE PHOTOS!'

With a contented sigh, and a final glance in the mirror, Mrs Potter went and rejoined the party.

**A.N: Please, I beg of you, do not kill me...I know, I know, I know, I have a hell of a lot of making up to do for my stupidly long absence! I can't even express how much drama i've had in my life recently, from the break up of a long term relationship to starting University and stupid amounts more! So please try and understand that there's a pesky little thing called life that sometimes gets in the way :(**

**However, I am already starting on the next chapter, which should be up in no time...I did get major writers block on this chapter and still am not feeling it, but I kind of accepted that if i didn't write it now i would never get it on here and that would just be awful! So hopefully the next chapters better, and i'm really excited about the next few chapters so they should be just spilling out!**

**Please review :) xxx**


	42. Chapter 46

**Chapter 42:**

Remus sat quietly beside Dorcas as they waited for the remaining members of the Order to floo into the room and fill the empty seats. He could see the worried glances that she was sending him every few seconds from the corner of his eyes, but he refused to turn and meet them, instead choosing to be oblivious.

He let out a shaky breath as a new wave of nausea hit him, causing him to shudder over his already shivering frame.

'Are you sure you're okay' she turned to him, her delicate features twisted into a frown of concern.

'I'm fine.' He told her firmly, still not meeting her gaze.

He didn't know what his relationship was with Dorcas, it was clearly more than friendship, but its lack of label allowed him to keep up a firm barrier between them. Preventing him from getting hurt when she realised what a monster he was.

Over the last few months he had seen her worry over his health, feel concerned for him and ultimately feel rejected when he refused help. But he knew she was not stupid, her intelligence was in fact outstanding, which meant it was only a matter of time before she discovered what he was.

The feeling of her legs brushing against his as she stood up broke off his wandering thoughts and brought him back to the Order Meeting. He watched as she turned to address the room, with a grave expression on her face.

'I can confirm to you all, without any doubt, that the Head of the Auror department, Elias Bromsby, is held under the Imperius Curse.' Dorcus paused for a brief moment, allowing a moment for the reactions of those in the room, the horrified gasps and groans of disbelief filled the small room, yet she kept a stoke expression plastered on her face, and continued steadily.

'This is clearly a blow to our side. Both those working with the Order, and those who do not support You-Know-Who, but my proposal is that we do not give up, and we use this information to the best of our ability...'

'What do you suggest?' James interrupted, smiling apologetically.

'This morning at nine AM, Bromsby held a meeting in his office detailing the plans of his upcoming movements. Adrian Selfridge was asked to join the meeting to record all plans made...'

'So it's all written down?' Alice asked slowly, a broad grin on her face.

'From what I could gather, yes' Dorcus nodded, a small glint to her eye.

'Forgive me for my stupidity, but what of Adrian Selfridge? Is he in any fit state to be able to divuldge any information of use?' Dumbledore asked from his seat in the corner and all eyes fixed on Dorcus waiting for her response.

'Unfortunately no. The most I could get from him was that he had written the events of the meeting down, other than that he was charmed to stay quiet.'

A resounding groan of disappointment waved through the members at the news, and many turned to Dumbledore expectantly.

'And where is the document presently?' he questioned, his eyes alert with thought.

'Currently they are in Bromsby's office, but my suggestion is that we act immediately...I doubt they will remain there till morning...'

'So we all go get them then? Is that what you suggest? Just bound on in there and take them from under his nose?' Peter asked incredulously.

'No, not everyone' Dorcas replied.

'Ahhh, I see...' Caradoc Dearborn nodded at her knowingly, and Dorcas met his gaze without wavering 'she's suggesting that those who have easy access to the office, those who can avoid questioning, should embark on this. Those people being herself and I.' He informed the room.

'No. No way!' Remus suddenly interrupted, jumping up from his seat and looking furiously from Dearborn to Dumbledore, seemingly daring Dumbledore to agree.

Even in his fragile state, as his body shook slightly despite the heated room, his flaming anger caused Dearborn to sink backwards in his seat.

'Please sit down Remus' Dumbledore told him steadily.

'Albus! You cannot let her go! She's already under enough suspicion! There have been threats made towards her already...'

'I am aware of that Remus, but we must consider the circumstances...'

'The circumstances?' Remus let out a sharp bark of laughter 'the circumstances are that Voldemort is having Dorcas _watched! _How can we allow her to take a risk which could directly lead to her becoming a target?'

'Remus, what I do or do not do is my decision' Dorcas snapped, her soft features suddenly flashing dangerously, causing him to pause in his rant 'I understand that you are concerned for me, but we are all in the position where we could become targets! Look at Lily and James? Or Alice and Frank? What about Alina? We all know what we are getting ourselves into.'

The silence that followed as Remus and Dorcas glared at each other filled the air with electricity, it shot through the room sending sparks of friction to every present member. After what felt like an eternity Remus gave a slight nod of acceptance and slowly sunk back into his seat, his eyes never leaving Dorcas for a second.

'Albus?' a small voice interrupted the heated atmosphere and Dumbledore turned to Peter, almost in relief for the change of tone.

'Yes Peter?' he obliged politely.

'I'm really sorry, but I thought that the meeting would be finished earlier, and if I'm not to be needed tonight, would it be all right if I left? I just don't like leaving Elyse at home for too long when she's alone...'

Dumbledore looked at the boy questioningly, wondering, not for the first time, what made him so nervous when addressing him directly. He paused for a second, considering the truth in Peter's words, he would not be needed that evening, and Elyse would be worrying over his where abouts.

'We'll see you tomorrow Peter' he nodded softly.

And after a few quick goodbyes muttered to him, Peter, quickly left the meeting, apparating from the hallway, into the unknown.

'Anyway, continuing with the meeting, I suggest that myself and Dearborn go and retrieve those documents, and I suggest that we leave within the hour...'

* * *

Upon landing, it took Peter a few moments to gather his surroundings; he let out a relieved sigh as he saw the lights of the farmhouse in the near distance. He had landed about a mile south of his intended destination, but he had never been great at Apparition, so it was no more than he expected.

The night air was surprisingly warm against his skin, and the sounds of living creatures in the nearby woods kept the night alive and silence free, allowing the building dread in his stomach to be slightly reduced.

From a distance, to the unknowing eye, the farmhouse looked alight with life. The warm glow of the windows lit up the side of the house, highlighting the jolly green ivy that gave the house the picturesque outlook of a Christmas card. But Peter wasn't an unknowing eye, he knew what horrors the house held, and yet he continued to return.

_For Elyse._

He reminded himself firmly, he returned for her safety and her safety alone.

_Are you sure? Is that the only reason?_

He tried to fight those thoughts, those tiny little voices at the very back of his mind that seemed to continuously disagree with him. The thoughts that during the day, when surrounded by his friends and by Elyse he had no trouble stifling, but at night, as he walked alone at a steadily increasing pace towards the house seemed to rebel against him.

As he stopped at the gate, he was unsure if it was just his knowledge or imagination, but the house seemed to ooze power. It seemed to seep from every crack and every crevice leaking out into the night. The type of power that he envied, that he had always wished he could possess.

His friends had that power; James, Sirius and Remus. They had included him, allowed him to join them in whatever they did, but he knew he never belonged, despite what they believed. They had everything and he had nothing.

But they were not as strong as the Dark Lord. As much as he wished they were, he could not fool himself. Against the Dark Lord their powers were futile, as Elyse had told him, they would lose. And was he prepared to die for them?

As he knocked on the bright red door, he knew he had answered that question.

* * *

They had argued like mad when the meeting was over. Remus begging her to let someone else go instead of her, and Dorcas refusing to stay behind on her own mission. She had gone in the end, nodding a brief goodbye to him before apparating straight to the ministry, and in response he had stormed from the headquarters.

He couldn't stand the thought of losing her. Of losing someone else so soon after Polly. He had tried so hard not to care about Dorcas but it was impossible, and he knew that now he had to live with the consequences.

He didn't love her. At least not nearly the same way that he had loved Polly. But he cared; he cared enough for it to hurt when she walked directly into danger and away from him.

Letting out a frustrated growl he threw himself onto the sofa in his apartment and let out a chesty cough.

_Three days_

He reminded himself once again. Three days, and it would all be over and he would be feeling normal again.

* * *

'Prongs...'

The anxious tone in Sirius' voice immediately alerted James that there was something wrong, he put down his broom which he had currently been polishing and turned to his friend.

'What's wrong?' he asked immediately.

'Nothing!' Sirius assured him 'at least, nothing in the way you're thinking of...'

James let out a sigh of relief, all thoughts of injury and death leaving his mind almost as suddenly as they had come.

'Then what is it?' he asked his friend, picking up his broom and continuing to polish it.

'I love how you polish that broom non-stop but have you seen the state of your wand?' Sirius smirked glancing at James' discarded wand on the table.

James followed his gaze and grimaced slightly at the countless fingerprints that smudged the majority of his wand, and grinned boyishly at his friend, shrugging in response.

'Prongs...' Sirius began again, suddenly feeling nervous 'have you noticed that Moony seems a little bit...weird lately?'

James paused in his cleaning for a moment to consider Sirius words, and then nodded slowly.

'Yeah I spose, I haven't really thought about it much' he added guiltily, and Sirius nodded in understanding.

'I'm worried that he's getting himself down about the whole Dorcas thing...I mean it's the first girl he's even glanced at since Polly and...'

'Oh God! Why didn't we think about this?' James interrupted, letting out a loud groan 'no wonder he's been acting so strange! His head must be all over the place!'

'Mate, I think we need to talk to him, especially before the full moon, because otherwise it's going to be a really bad one...' Sirius continued, and they both looked at each other sharing a grimace.

* * *

Getting in had been no problem. Finding the document had proved a little more difficult, but they had managed it eventually, having used every spell they could think of in attempt to unlock the draw it was confined in. But getting out was proving near impossible.

Her heart was thumping madly in her ears, and the fear that engulfed her veins had left her in a strangely giddy state, increasing her struggle at sufficiently defending herself.

They had shared a brief grin of rejoice as they made to leave the office with the documents, a grin that still ghosted her features as the four resounding cracks echoed through the room, and the four hooded figures came into sight.

They had known.

Somehow, they had known what was going to happen. And it did not look good.

She threw up a shield, thankfully just in time before a flash of green light was shot towards her, causing her to let out a shriek of alarm. They were here to kill, and there were four of them against two. It didn't take a genius to know that their chances were not promising.

'Impedimenta!' she shouted, watching as the Death Eater directly before her reduced his speed, and making a snapshot decision, ignoring all guilt or conscience or hesitation, she allowed the words to form on her lips that she feared to ever hear.

'Avada Kedavra!'

She felt sick. Even amongst the fighting, and the startled yells from the other Death Eaters, she felt the nausea hit her like a wave as the body before her crumpled to the floor. But she couldn't think about it. This was life or death, and it was essential that she returned the documents back to the Order.

The result of her attack only increased the intensity of the Death Eater's, causing them to throw curse after curse at both herself and Dearborn.

She blocked most, dodging here and there to avoid any stray spells, shooting as many as possible back. It was the slight hesitation she had at the sound of Dearborn screaming out in agony as he was hit with a crucio that allowed the spell to hit her. And the pain was unbearable.

She didn't hear the curse, she didn't even see who sent it, but she felt the agony as blood erupted from her skin and streamed down her body. Her skin burnt as if the blood strewing down her was made of hot lava, scolding her endlessly.

She screamed in despair, clenching her wand tightly and silently casting a shield charm. She let out a gasp of pain, but she knew she could not give in, she had to get back. For Remus. For everyone.

'Expecto Patronum' she whispered, relief washing over her as she saw the success of the spell.

'HELP' she screamed out, and watched as the dove fluttered from the room.

'Stupify!'

She heard another body crumple after Dearborn's words, and sighed as she realised it was now two on two.

Rolling over she heaved herself to her feet, continuously casting a shield charm around her to try and increase its strength.

It was all she could do. The only defence she had left between them, and the documents she could feel tucked inside her robes. With one more attempt at a shield, everything went black.

* * *

'HELP!'

The agonized cry exploded through headquarters, bouncing from every wall in the building and echoing throughout every room. The sound of Dorcas' cry was followed by a split second of silence, in which the horrific realisation hit each member, before the house was suddenly a flurry of movement. James and Sirius, whom the Patronus had delivered too ran into the hallway, their wands already drawn, yelling a plan of action to those nearest.

A few seconds later Lily and Alina came bounding down the stairway, wands also drawn, and their faces ivory white.

'This is get in, get out. Do not try to be heroes. We are there to get Dorcas and Dearborn out. Do whatever it takes' James yelled over the cacophony of shouts and footsteps on the cold wooden floor.

'Alina –' Sirius began, but she cut him off.

'I'll find Remus and Dumbledore, you'll need a healer waiting...but if I so much as hear that you need back up I won't stay put' she told him firmly, the familiar feeling of uselessness washing over her at being left behind.

'I love you.' He told her in response, before leading the first of the loud cracks that exploded around her, leaving her once again alone in Headquarters.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, and mentally saying a quick prayer for her friends, she ran to the fireplace, shouting out Remus' name as she plunged her head towards the fire.

At first she didn't think he was going to reply, but then he came into sight. His shivering form was huddled under a bundle of blankets on the shabby sofa of his one bedroom apartment. He appeared to be sleeping, but his unsteady breath told her otherwise. Had it not been for the dire situation she knew the sight of her friend suffering so severely would have torn her to pieces, but she knew that there was no time for such sentiments.

'REMUS!' she yelled, her throat ripping as she roared his name through the fire, and thankfully, he finally responded to her yells, his head shooting up in alarm and turning directly to the fireplace.

'Alli?' she heard him ask quietly with a confused frown, before his face suddenly evolved into utter horror.

She did not need to tell him, she knew by his expression that he understood.

'Is she -?' he asked in alarm, his eyes widened manically.

'No.' Alina replied quickly 'I don't think so, but everyone's gone to the Ministry-'

Alina didn't have time to complete her sentence, as she watched him disappear before her, his wand clenched tightly in his fist.

It seemed like an eternity. Although the clock claimed it to have only been thirty minutes. She paced across the room, a deep frown thick across her forehead as she mentally searched for any indication that Sirius was in trouble.

They couldn't do this forever; not when her fighting could prove to be such valuable assistance. She turned once again to Dumbledore, opening her mouth to once again make the suggestion.

'No, Alina. Another time, when we need as many fighters as possible, but for now it is not necessary, more than enough have gone today.'

She felt the anger erupting through her body, and she clenched her teeth tightly to prevent her sharp tongue from rearing its ugly head. How could he be so calm? Did he not understand how she was feeling? How she always felt when she was left behind?

It was like she was being torn from the inside outwards, as if someone had shoved their hand into her stomach and was twisting and tearing and her organs. It was agony.

As she opened her mouth angrily to inform her former headmaster of this, the sudden appearance of a silver wolf bounding into the room caused her attention to dramatically waver.

'Is it Remus'?' she asked quickly, and Dumbledore nodded in affirmative.

'We got rid of the Death Eaters. On our way back. Dorcas is injured, prepare medical help.'

She could hear the strain in his voice, under the calm demeanour. The various shakes in his steady voice, and the shortness of his commands informed her that Remus was near breaking point and that scared her. With a shudder she cast her memory back to the haunted look that had possessed his eyes for so long after Polly's death. She could not, she would not, allow him to return to that state. Not again.

* * *

She heard them return to the hallway, and forgetting any selfish anguish of being left behind she ran to meet them.

The first person she saw was James. It took her one second to absorb the grave expression on his face to tell her that it was bad. It took her a further second to look further through the returning fighters, and to see the bloody figure huddled in Remus' arms.

It took her one split moment to try and prevent the vomit that threatened her stomach.

'Get her in here' she gasped in horror, watching as Remus tried bravely to keep a neutral expression on his face 'what happened?' she demanded of no one in particular.

'Curse.' Sirius grimaced, giving her shoulder a tight squeeze as he reached her 'we don't know what type, we just know it's not a bloody nice one...it doesn't look good Alli.' He whispered quietly so that only she could hear.

A loud ringing sounded in her ears, as the news sunk in. She felt as if she were floating, her whole body was numb. Not another one. She couldn't lose another friend.

Blindly, she followed Sirius into the living room, and watched as Dumbledore worked frantically over her too still body. A piercing scream exploded from the girl as Dumbledore performed what looked like an extremely complicated charm, and the whole room flinched as one.

Lily had her eyes tightly shut, her head pressed into James neck, as she tried to block out the reality they were in.

Alice cried openly, yet silently, her tears sending another wave of pain into Alina's heart.

How could this be real?

They were barely nineteen and yet they were standing as one, watching yet another friend suffer endlessly. And it made her feel sick.

'I can't do this' she muttered angrily 'I can't watch this happen anymore.'

'I know Alli...' Sirius replied softly, his voice croaky.

'No Sirius. I mean, I will not be left behind anymore.' She told him firmly, and when she saw him open his mouth to argue she interrupted once again 'and just watch if anyone tries to stop me. I can assure you that they will not be successful.'

She ignored the worried glance he gave her, and the frown that etched upon his face. She had made up her mind, and it was not going to be changed.

* * *

She awoke to the sounds of quiet talking, fluttering her eyes open she found herself tightly enveloped into Sirius' chest on one of the armchairs in the living room.

She smiled softly, as she looked upon him sleeping; the tranquillity in his expression, and it took a minute before she processed the events of the night before.

Quickly she jerked her head away from his face, and directly towards the bed she knew contained Dorcas. She saw the still figure lying no differently from how she had been the previous night, she glanced at those surrounding her body; Dumbledore, McGonagall and Remus. She saw the soft look on Remus' face as he looked down onto the bed, the tired relief on his too thin face, and she let out her own sigh of contentment. She was alive.

Slowly, and carefully, she climbed off of the confines of Sirius' lap and made her way quietly over to the bedside.

All the blood was gone. All that remained was a tired, yet peaceful Dorcas, letting out soft snores as she slept before them.

'She's going to be all right' Remus informed her gently, a small smile hinting on his lips.

Alina nodded in response, unsure of what words could possibly express how she was feeling at the news.

'She was brave...' she begun.

'And very, very, lucky' Remus concluded 'we arrived just as she passed out. It would have been up to Dearborn to fight off two Death Eaters otherwise, and he wasn't in a fit state to even handle one...'

'Where is Dearborn?' Alina asked suddenly, feeling guilty that she hadn't asked before.

'Gone home, he only needed rest, and he said he preferred to do that at home, apparently it's 'impossible to rest in a place with these teenagers'' Remus grinned lightly 'I refrained from reminding him that he's only twenty-three...barely our elder'

Alina let out a breezy laugh in return, suddenly feeling much happier.

'And the Documents?' she asked suddenly.

'Right here!' Remus beamed, indicating to the bundle of papers on the chest of drawers beside him 'they did extremely well, apparently it was only as they left that they hit trouble.'

'As they left? They weren't guarding the papers?'

'Apparently not' Dumbledore responded, sharing a brief look with her as the truth dawned on her.

'So we've been betrayed...again?'

'It appears so.'

**A/N: Thank you sooooo much for your reviews and your forgiveness for the long wait! So this chapter was supposed to contain a hell of a lot more, except my mind/imagination/fingers went a little bit keyboard crazy and i ended up writing waaay to much...so it's turned out to be a bit of a filler chapter, but i promise it's going somewhere :)**

**Please review, it seriously brightens up my day (particularly when i have 4 chapters of constitutional law to be reading :S reviews are just so much more pleasant!)**

**Thank you xxx**


	43. Chapter 47

**Chapter 43:**

Elyse bit her lip as she sat at her dressing table running a comb through her hair, quickly she stole a glance using the mirrors reflection, towards Peter who was undressing for bed behind her.

She was nervous, and the more she let her mind run onto the topic, the more reign the anticipation held over her.

_Don't be ridiculous, there'll be a reasonable explanation._

She could hear the voice in her head trying desperately to convince her of it's truth, yet the heavy lead in her heart seemed to tell her otherwise, with a strange awareness to her movements, she slowly placed the comb down and turned in her seat to face Peter.

'Pete...' she began slowly, her stomach tightening into knots.

'Yeah?' he replied, his voice muffled by the t-shirt he was pulling off over his head.

'I...erm...' she continued, walking towards him and climbing onto the bed beside him 'I spoke to Alina earlier.'

'Congratulations!' he laughed lightly 'is that all you wanted to tell me?'

She paused for a moment, taking in his easy grin and sighed.

_Surely I'm wrong?_

He looked no different to the boy she had met at school, his mousy hair slightly ruffled and the natural nervous expression that resided on his face had never left him, the look of love and affection, mixed with the overwhelming awe he seemed to ooze each time he looked at her and realised she was his still highlighted his plain features and made him beautiful to her.

He was her Peter, and he was not a liar.

_Except he did lie.._

That tiny voice that nagged at the back of her mind brought back her concerns and she hesitated slightly before continuing.

'She mentioned that you left the meeting early...'

She kept her eyes trained on him as she spoke and noted to herself how the easy expression that softened his face evaporated and a flash of panic shot through his eyes, causing his whole body to freeze rigidly.

Feeling her throat constrict painfully, and her throat to dry up, she forced the next words out sending a silent prayer for a logical explanation.

'She said you left to come and see me?'

'I...er...what did you say?' he stuttered, his eyes darting around the room, as he figited beside her.

'I told her that it was nice seeing you for a bit, but i would like to know why i lied to one of my friends?' she replied frostily.

'Well, it's just...erm...'

Elyse narrowed her eyes as she watched the clocks ticking through his mind as he tried to root for a reasonable explanation.

'It's _what _Pete?'

'I wanted to get away for a bit, they were talking about the next mission and i just didn't want to go El...'

'Then why didn't you say so?' she asked gently, trying to ignore the doubt in her mind.

'You know what James and Sirius are like El! They'd just take the piss if I said I didn't want to go!' he snapped, his cheeks reddening slightly.

Elyse paused for a second, completely surprised by the bitter tone he spoke of his friends in. She had often told him that his friends were condescending to him, often making jokes at his expense, but she had never heard him agree with her, she had never sense any hostility over it.

She didn't like the way Peter was often seen as a joke, but she knew that the sense of love and loyalty that the Marauders also showed him made up for it.

'Has something happened between you all?' she asked, taking his hand in her own.

'No Elyse' he snapped ' I'd just appreciate you to trust me, and for everyone to stop treating me like I'm the idiot of the Order. '

'Pete, I'm not –'

'Yes you are! You and everyone else! Well there are people much more powerful than James, Sirius and Remus who would treat me better.'

'What are you talking about?' she breathed, her heart thudding with fear over the dark expression that had clouded his features.

'Nothing. Night.' He told her bluntly, before turning over and closing his eyes tightly.

_People much more powerful than James, Sirius and Remus._

As she lay in silence, Peter's words echoed loudly through her mind, preventing her from any chance of sleeping.

What did he mean? Where had the boy she had seen earlier, the boy she loved, disappeared to?

She didn't know. All she knew was that over the last few months, as the war had grown darker, Peter had changed. There had been moments, where she had spoken to him about Death Eater attacks and movements of the Order, in which the way he had spoken of the dark magic used had sent chills down her spine.

The fascination on his face as she had studied spell books which highlighted many of the spells the Order was up against had turned her stomach into a block of ice.

And the many times he had used her as an alibi for wherever it was that he had been disappearing to now struck terror into her heart as she lay beside the familiar stranger.

She knew he was awake, the soft sound of his snoring had not yet reached her ears and he was laying too still, facing the opposite direction to her. As she felt the weight of the bed shift, and the light creaking sound, she knew he was leaving again.

Opening one eye she glanced at the clock on the wall, reading four o'clock, before she closed her eyes, trying to block out the reality.

She didn't move as she heard the rustle of him dressing, she didn't even dare barely breathe as she heard the drawer beside the bed open and close, signifying that he had retrieved his wand.

It wasn't until a few minutes after the loud crack had shot through the empty flat, and she had let out a broken sob when the superficial words that had tried in vain to convince herself earlier once again to the surface.

_Don't be ridiculous. There'll be a reasonable explanation._

As the sobs grew hysterical, as she curled into a ball, hugging her knees tightly to her chest and the tears streaked down her cheeks, she knew that she had been lying to herself for too long now.

She wasn't being ridiculous.

There was no reasonable explanation.

Peter was lying.

And she was terrified to ask the question that was plaguing her mind.

_Why?_

* * *

'Alli?'

The sound of his voice broke into her dreams and she frowned in annoyance. Rolling over, she placed her hands tightly over her ears and nuzzled back into the softness of the pillow.

She fought down the annoyance she felt as he softly began to shake her awake and instead attempted to sleep through the jagged motions, finding solace in her stubbornness.

'ALLI!'

If the yell in her ear hadn't been enough to wake her up the sudden spray of water that hit her straight in the face was.

With a loud yell she jumped up, her eyes narrowing with anger as the fell upon Sirius' grinning face.

'What. Do. You. Want.' She growled through clenched teeth.

He flashed her a lop sided smile, before embarking on a life threatening risk and kissing her softly on her forehead, and whispering softly to her.

'Order meeting, now.'

She looked up at him in surprise, forgetting her annoyance 'what? Why?'

She looked at the grimace on his face and her heart dropped to her stomach. Compressing the nauseas feeling that was threatening to surface she met his gaze steadily, her expression stoic.

'Who is it?' she asked quietly.

'Dearborn. They took him in the middle of the night.'

'Are you sure he hasn't fled?' she asked hopefully, but Sirius just shook his head in response.

'There were signs of a struggle, and the Dark Mark...' his voice trailed off.

Grabbing Sirius' old Quidditch jumper, she pulled it over her head and marched out into the hallway, the sounds of other members arriving downstairs meeting her ears.

She moved quickly down the stairs, the sound of Sirius' footsteps right behind her, and she nodded in greeting at Peter, as he arrived before her.

When they entered the room she gasped slightly as the grief hit her like a tidal wave. She stumbled backwards, feeling herself collide with Sirius' chest.

'Alli?' he asked gently, wrapping his hands round her waist.

She closed her eyes for a second, pushing up the barriers to her mind and blocking off the hysterical thoughts and emotions that were flying around the room.

'I'm fine' she sighed softly 'everyone's thoughts are just a little bit full on' she whispered.

Nodding gravely, he took her hand and led her to a seat around the table, joining in on the eerie silence that had filled the room.

It was a short meeting, not many wanting or having anything to say. The words of condolence had long ago been given up on as more and more were lost in the war. It was decided that Dorcas was to stay at the Headquarters, there was too much of a risk on her life to continue living without protection.

It was accepted silently, and upon the end of the meeting few words were spoken between members as many left on the spot.

'Where was Remus today?' Alice asked, as the group sat in the living room quietly.

'We went to his flat this morning and he wasn't there' James replied, his voice heavy and tired 'we figured he'd gone to a healer, it's the full moon tonight.'

'But what healer would he have gone to?' Alli asked 'they're shunning werewolves even more now days what with all of the attacks on Muggles! Surely he couldn't just stroll into St Mungo's?'

Peter looked up at her in surprise, a strange expression on his face as his mouth twitched slightly.

'Yeah...yeah that's true!' he squeaked, and Alina raised her eyebrows at him.

'Maybe he knows someone, that girl who was training in the hospital wing at Hogwarts used to be really good to him...' she reasoned.

'I dunno, it could just be more of his weird behaviour' Peter shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant.

'What do you mean weird behaviour?' Lily asked him, looking between the three boys, as James and Sirius had exchanged a surprised glance.

'You've noticed that too?' James asked eventually, and Peter looked at him in surprise and sudden look of excitement flashing in his eyes.

'Yeah!' he answered quickly 'what...have you then?' he continued, sounding more appropriately concerned, his brows furrowed.

'Yeah, he's late a lot, and disappears...we're worried he's getting depressed thinking about Polly again, what with Dorcas suddenly entering his life...'

'Oh do you think that's why then?' Peter asked.

'We guess so, why? What do you think it is?' Sirius asked.

'Oh...I dunno, didn't really think too much about it.'

'Ah there's our Wormtail' James grinned.

'Yep, the one that _doesn't _think' Sirius chuckled, and Peter blushed slightly, his jaw clenching.

Alina glanced at the boy thoughtfully, ignoring the jibes that James and Sirius had thrown at him.

She knew he was by far the least skilled and intelligent of the four friends, but something in the way he had spoken suggested that he had thought about it. And that Peter did in fact have his own theory on Remus' weird behaviour.

Silently, amongst the quiet chatter of her friends, she decided that she would keep an eye on Remus, in attempt to discover what it was that had Peter so uncertain over him.

'Okay, so me and James have something to tell you all...' something in Lily's voice broke Alina from her trance like state and suddenly pay attention.

She looked nervous, shooting a meaningful glance at James who immediately took her hand firmly in his own and nodded for her to continue

'It's just...well I know it's been a bloody awful day...' she began, and everyone made noises of agreement 'but me and James have some news that we've had to wait far too long to tell you...it's just, we've been waiting for the right time –'

'-and the right time never comes about' James added, frowning slightly as he spoke,

'Well what is it then mate? Come on spit it out!' Sirius smirked, enjoying the nervous expression on his friends face.

'shouldn't we wait for Moony?' James suddenly asked, looking only at Lily.

'James, we're never all together like this, we'll go and see Remus after?'

'Well what is it, you're making me nervous!' Alina interrupted. Growing more and more impatient.

'Alli, you look like a five year old when your pull that face' Lily teased her, enjoying the angry tint of pink her cheeks flushed at the words.

'Come on Lil' Alice whined. Looking strangely intrigued.

'Okay...' Lily sucked in a deep breath 'I'm pregnant.'

A split second of silence was all it took for the words to sink in before the entire room seemed to erupt into madness.

'GO ON PRONGSY!'

Sirius' yell was the first to ring through the room as he literally pounced onto his friend, embarking on some form of celebratory wrestling match.

Alina flew almost just as quickly into Lily's arms, laughing madly and pulling her into a tight embrace.

'Congratulations' she whispered, blinking quickly to prevent any unnecessary tears from escaping.

Strangely, it was Alice who was the quietest throughout the celebrations; she stood almost awkwardly by her seat, her cheeks an odd pink colour, as she glanced nervously from her friends to Frank, as if in deep thought.

'Al?' Lily asked suddenly, registering her friend's odd behaviour.

'Okay, so, don't kill me for jumping on the band wagon or whatever, but I'm pregnant too.'

Unlike Lily, and in total Alice fashion, the words flew so quickly from her mouth that her friends were barely able to register them for a minute or too.

'You're bloody kidding me!' Lily gasped, her mouth bursting into a broad grin, before she squealed and hugged Alice tightly.

For a split second Alina stepped back from the scene before her. She tried to swallow the bitter taste in her mouth that she immediately recognised to be jealousy. Her two best friends; both married, both on the way to becoming mothers. Yet she had neither title.

She knew that her relationship with Sirius was far more complicated, that they had been through far too much for them to be able to make rash decisions or move too quickly.

But she couldn't deny the little nagging voice in the back of her mind that yearned for what her friends had, and what they were going to have.

Her thoughts were disturbed by a soft kiss being pressed to the back of her head, and without needing to turn around to see who it was, she felt herself relax into the warm embrace of Sirius.

'You okay?' he asked her quietly, his voice so soft she barely heard it.

'Of course' she replied equally as quiet.

'I love you' he whispered.

And his words, combined with the scene of joy and happiness before her, were enough to jolt any unfriendly emotions from her mind and she melted into his touch, a soppy grin on her face.

'I love you too,' she replied.

**A/N: A bit of a filler chapter, but neccessary to the plot :) **

**Please review, they make my day x**


	44. Chapter 48

**Chapter 44:**

Alina wondered when exactly it had been that they'd all grown up.

She stood, leaning against the wall, at the edge of the room in Alice and Franks flat, gazing in wonder at the group of people before her. It seemed ridiculous to imagine them all standing in the same uniform that they had been wearing just under two years ago, it was as if they had grown at a year per minute in the time that had passed.

It wasn't just the obvious changes that anyone who had eyes could see; the wedding rings on four of their fingers, and in particular the two heavily pregnant women that stood amongst them.

_No. It's far more than that._

It was in their very expressions, the brief moments that could only be caught between the laughter. The grave expressions that often washed away the familiar grin on James' face as his mind raced with thoughts of the future that waited for his family; for his child. The look of sadness that seemed to hold a constant presence over Elyse as she sat beside Peter, whose nerves had left him jumpy and distant to those around him.

And Remus' eyes. The brown eyes that once shone with intelligence and happiness had been scarred; reflecting those of a man who had lived years of hardship and ruin.

The times were hard, everyone knew that. But as she glanced around the room warmth spread through her, recharging her hope and determination. And as her eyes rested on the swollen stomachs of her best friends, she knew she would never, ever, give up fighting for their future.

* * *

He lifted her off the bed, pushing her roughly backwards so that her back was pressed against the cold hardness of the wall.

She clung to him, one fist clenching the back of his long hair, the other grasping his shoulder tightly, her nails digging into him with each powerful movement that he made.

Their bodies were glazed with sweat, and she gasped out loud, sacrificing her body and mind to the primal instincts that were commanding dominance over her actions.

Holding her firmly in place, his lips replaced their touch, ravishing each part of her naked skin with kisses both tender and passionate, sending chills down her spine.

As his pace increased, and his breath became shorter and heavier, she allowed herself to give in to the coil that had wound tightly in the pit of her stomach, and as the cries of pleasure left her lips, a loud groan told her that he had joined her in the moment of sheer ecstasy.

They didn't say anything for a while afterwards, with trembling arms; he had carried her to the bed, holding her close to him as he felt her grow more and more tense in his arms.

'Don't do this Alli' he whispered, pressing his lips gently to her head 'you know you don't have to do this with me.'

'I know.'

Her words were cold, distant, and the unresponsive movements of her body told him that she was battling against him. Refusing, once again, to let him bare her pain.

'Alli -'

'What do you want me to say Sirius?' she snapped through clenched teeth, turning sharply towards him, her eyes flashing dangerously.

'I want you to let me in!' he snapped back.

'Why? Why!' she retorted, sitting upright and running her hands roughly through her matted hair.

'Because we're together Alli! Because you love me and I love you!' he mimicked her movements, sitting up and grabbing her hand in his own 'I thought by now you might just trust me enough to let me know what you're feeling, because I'm fucking sure that I'm feeling it too! Do you not get how I feel about it too?'

In the silence that followed Sirius felt physically sick, he'd done it. He'd pushed her too far and now she would never let him in. With an angry sigh he fell backwards onto the mattress, staring at the ceiling.

_Does she not understand how I feel?_

He had been asking himself that question every night for the last month, over and over and over. Each time they made love, and each time she froze afterwards, turning away from him and shutting him out from the pain that they should be sharing.

'Is that what you think?'

Had the night not been so still, had the room not been so silent, he would not have heard the words that she breathed. Her voice was so soft, so fragile, and so alien from the one he was familiar with that it tore his heart the moment it reached his ears, but he was too angry to allow himself to give in to it.

'You don't think I get how you feel?' she continued, her voice growing in volume, yet remaining unbelievably fragile.

'What else am I supposed to think Alli?' he asked her, his voice weary with defeat 'you freeze yourself away from me, you put up those walls you've built for yourself and it's selfish! It's selfish because you have no idea how I feel too!'

'I know _exactly _how you feel Sirius, because every time we allow ourselves to get excited, and hopeful, and nervous, I can feel you! I can feel how much you want it too!' she took a deep breath as the words tumbled from her mouth, and turned round to face him, her eyes filled with the inward torment that she had been containing for so long 'and every time it goes wrong, every time you feel angry, and bitter, and distraught I can feel it too! It's just so hard...and I don't know how to cope with feeling you feeling it too, because you want it just as much as me...'

As her voice grew tighter and tighter, he sat up, pulling her into his arms, her body heaved with the sobs she had kept in for too long.

'It's okay, it's going to be okay' he whispered.

'And those are the words I didn't want to hear, because we know it might not.'

The lay together for hours, tightly embracing each other as they gave in to the tears that had been repressed.

'I just want a baby.' She breathed softly.

'We'll have one Alli, we will.' He told her gently, and kissed her with all the tenderness he owned.

* * *

Alice, Lily and Elyse all sat around the table in James and Lily's kitchen, each rooting through a thick book, two long scrolls of paper in the middle of them.

'What about Melvin?' Elyse asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.

'Melvin?' Alice snorted, arching her eyebrows at her friend 'there is no way on earth that my son is going to be called _Melvin.'_

'Hey! You're the one who likes Neville! They're similar!' Elyse raised her hands in defence, suppressing a grin.

'Melvin is nothing like Neville! And I think Neville's a lovely name!' Alice smiled, her hand caressing her bump fondly 'not long now Neville' she spoke gently.

'Well I take it your mind's made up on that then?' she laughed.

'Yeah, me and Frank kind of decided last night really' Alice shrugged, looking at both of her friends innocently 'what? I just like looking at baby names!'

'So you've had me looking for you too, when I could have been helping out Lily?' Elyse shook her head in disbelief.

'Oh as if it matters! Lil's having a boy too, so you would have said the same names anyway!'

'I'm never going to find a name' Lily groaned, dropping her head onto the table with a bang.

'Yes you will, and you'll do it _before _you go and give yourself brain damage' Elyse laughed, pulling Lily up from the table and handing her a new book to look through 'now get to work! You've only got a week left!'

'Yes sir!' Lily laughed.

It was in a state of silence, as each of the girls read carefully through the lists of names and their meanings that James, Sirius, Alina and Peter found them in.

'Wow, this is the quietest I've ever seen them...' Alina remarked in surprise, as they opened the door.

'Finally, you're home!' Lily snapped, kicking a chair towards James and shuffling a book in his direction.

'Hi dear, How did fighting the Death Eaters go dear?... Oh not too bad dear they were in a bit of a bad mood, but death defying duelling? Pah! Not important! How are _you _dear?...'

'I checked with Dumbledore earlier when you got back to the Headquarters to see if you were all right' Lily rolled her eyes 'now sit down and get to work!'

'Such a delight!' James shook his head, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

'You married her' Alina grinned.

'And impregnated me' she snapped 'so get baby name finding!'

Shuffling his feet across the floor, James threw himself into the chair in front of him, muttering something that included the phrase 'spawn of Satan'

Narrowing her eyes at her husband, Lily let out a sigh and flicked her wand to cast a cooling charm on herself. It was by far one of the hottest July's she could remember and the discomfort of swollen ankles and a giant belly made it ten times worse.

'Do you want to go and have a rest?' Sirius spoke quietly into Alina's ear, and she shook her head slightly, turning to face him with a mischievous grin plastered on her face.

'I think I'd rather watch this' she told him indicating with her head to Lily and James 'how long do you think he's got before she kills him?' she asked.

With a grimace, Sirius looked between his nervous looking best friend and a flushed, disgruntled, _very _pregnant Lily.

'Ten minutes? And I'd say she'll eat him before that'

'I agree' Alina smirked, swallowing her giggle as Lily's eyes shot towards her.

'I don't know what you lot think you're doing...get to work!'

'Don't refuse her' Sirius whispered from the corner of his mouth as he edged toward the table.

'And don't make eye contact' Alina responded, watching Sirius smirk at her words.

'You too Peter!'

* * *

'I NEED JAMES!'

Lily's desperate screech pierced through the walls of the house, causing the newly born Neville, who had been sleeping in his crib, to stir, and add his cries to hers.

Alice glanced quickly at Frank, indicating him to go and see to their son, whilst she tried to convince her friend to floo to St Mungo's.

'Lil, you _need _to get to St Mungo's!' she told her for what felt like the hundredth time but Lily had dug her heels firmly into the floor, and with a look of stubbornness that would make Alina proud, was steadfastly refusing to move.

'I am not going without him' she growled, before letting out another sharp cry of pain 'this is...not...how...it's supposed to be!' she gasped out, from her hunched over position.

'I know sweetie, but he'll be back soon!' Alice heard herself reason, knowing that there was no real way for them to tell when James would be back from the mission.

'It's just _so bloody _TYPICAL!' Lily yelled, tears now pouring down her cheeks 'and if Alli hadn't gone with them she could have used her mind to call them! WHY did they let her bloody go?'

'Shhh, calm down Lil, let's go to St Mungo's; Frank's sent a Patronnus to James, all that we can worry about now is getting that baby out safely!'

At the mention of the child, Lily froze, suddenly seeing reason.

'Yeah, you're right' she muttered, before sucking in a sharp intake of breath as another contraction hit her 'let's go.'

* * *

Once again they had known they were coming.

And once again the members of the Order were left fighting for survival.

They had arrived at what they had believed to be a simple search the premises mission, and had discovered a group of Death Eater's lying in wait for them.

'ALINA, BEHIND YOU!'

Sirius' yelled reached her ears just a split second after the sharp pang of panic he had felt shot through her mind.

She didn't turn around, she knew she didn't have time to even use her wand, with reactions quicker than she knew she had, she closed her eyes, throwing her senses behind her to locate the Death Eater that was closing in on her.

_Freeze._

She smirked as she sensed his movement stop.

_Fall._

The sound of a loud thud reached her ears and she let out a light chuckle.

'Stupefy!' she added, swivelling round at lightening pace, and pointing her wand directly at the Death Eater on the floor.

Her brief moment of pride was immediately cut short as an agonized scream sent chills down her spine.

'Sirius' she muttered, feeling a wave of anger, so intense that it knocked the breath out of her, erupt through her body.

She clenched her wand tightly, feeling her nails slightly pierce her skin as her knuckles whitened at the grip.

Her eyes darted around the room and with a groan of frustration she realised he wasn't there.

_Sirius?_

She pushed her mind out, searching the building for him, knowing that wherever he was she would find him, and she would stop whoever was hurting him.

Another shout of pain shot through the room, and as she felt her legs start to run in the direction of the stairs, she knew it was not with her ears that she was hearing his cries, it was through her soul.

Silently, she allowed her mind to lead her body to where he was, trying to control the anger that was flowing through her veins, the anger that was thirsty for blood, for pain, for revenge.

She didn't pause as she reached the door she knew that he was behind. She knew exactly how many were in there, for she was no longer watching through her own eyes, she was watching through his.

She was looking up at them, crumpled on the floor, her eyes narrowed at them.

She could feel his anger, mixed with the acceptance that he would probably die.

Three of them.

One standing directly before him; he was clearly the one in charge.

The two that were standing further back, by the wall on the left side of the door, were each occasionally shooting their own spells of torture at him, but the majority was left to their leader.

As the main Death Eater raised his wand once again to Sirius, Alina raised her own and pointed it directly at the door.

Before the Death Eater had time to even form the words of the curse in his mind, the door exploded, sending splinters of wood shooting throughout the room.

_Get on the floor._

She spat the words through her mind, concentrating only on the two Death Eaters to the left, before she turned to the one before her.

He had his wand pointed directly at her chest, a triumphant smirk visible below the mask that covered the top of his face.

'Alina Blake' he drawled, his smooth voice sending shivers of rage through her body.

'Snivillus' she replied casually, her eyes focused on Sirius, glancing over him to ensure he was all right.

'I suggest you lower your wand, Snape.' She continued 'you might be better at Occulmency than most, but I can assure you, I'm better.'

'Sectumsum-'

Before he could finish his curse Alina through her mind forward, using as much energy as she had left inside of her.

With a force, beyond anything she had imagined to possess, Snape was thrown backwards, crashing through the window and falling out into the night.

Instead of the dull thud of a body hitting the ground below, a loud crack met her ears, informing her that he had apparated mid air back to his master.

With a growl of frustration she turned her attention to the two Death Eaters still laying face down on the floor.

'Expecto Patronum' she muttered, watching as the Unicorn shot from her wand 'Go to Mad-Eye' she told him 'We were ambushed, it's all under control now, and we've captured two Death Eater's.'

She didn't wait to see the Unicorn leave; she immediately turned to Sirius, who was slowly pulling himself up from the floor.

His face was dangerously pale, and a trail of blood was seeping from his bottom lip, but other than that he was fine.

She knew his mind was still stable, she could sense it; feel it deep within her core.

'Thanks' he flashed his familiar lop-sided grin at her, trying to play down what had just happened.

'Siriu-'she began, but was interrupted by a shout from another room.

'PADFOOT!'

Alina and Sirius paused and stared at one another in shock for a split second, the panic in James' voice was thick through the single word, sending chills down their spines.

'JAMES?' Alina shouted, her wand held out, and despite the harsh aching in her head, she held her mind at alert, prepared to use whatever power she had left.

'HERE! I- IN – here!' his final word sounded weak; broken.

'Oh God' she muttered, observing the drastic paling of Sirius' complexion as he heard the falter in his friends tone.

Without even a seconds pause to think about what they were doing, the blast through the door from which James' voice had sounded behind, and sprinted through, clenching the wands tightly.

Alina wasn't sure what they had expected, whether it be ten Death Eaters, a dead body or even Voldemort himself. What she was sure they hadn't expected was a white faced, jittery looking James, muttering incoherently to himself as he paced up and down the room, his fists clenching at his already messy hair.

'Is he -?' Sirius didn't finish his sentence; instead he looked desperately towards her, his eyes flooded with fear.

The thought of using her mind once again sent a feeling of dread into the pit of her stomach; her mind was no longer aching anymore, instead it was sending jolts of pain throughout her skull, making her breathing slightly uneven as she tried to suppress it.

Grimly, looking at James' manic state, she projected her mind forward, grimacing at the sharp pain it caused.

It took only a second to process the thoughts in James' mind, as they were practically being hurled towards her. Immediately her eyebrows shot up and her eyes widened.

'He's not lost his sanity' she confirmed quickly for Sirius, who immediately relaxed 'but Lily's gone into labour' she grinned.

'What!' Sirius yelped, his chin dropping 'but Alice was only yesterday...'

'I know!' Alina laughed, her excitement taking dominance for a second over the searing pain in her head.

'JAMES!' she barked, feeling pleased when the panicked man immediately stopped and stared at her 'I know you're scared, but Lily needs you so...'

'Suck it up you pansy' Sirius interrupted, grinning at his friend.

'Get him to St Mungo's' Alina muttered, not quite trusting James to apparate alone in the state he appeared to be in.

With a brief nod and a quick kiss, Sirius grasped his friends arm and disappeared from sight.

* * *

When Alina arrived at St Mungo's waiting room James had already gone in to be with Lily, and Sirius was sitting down beside Alice and Remus. Sirius immediately jumped up upon seeing her, quickly sweeping across the room to help her into a seat.

The strength of his arms around her body, and the worried expression on his face told her that she must now be showing signs of the pain in her head.

'You okay?' he asked her, turning her cheek with his hand gently to look at him.

She opened her mouth to lie, to tell him that she was fine, but a wave of pain shooting through her head caused her to flinch.

'Yeah, just – headache' she mumbled, falling into the seat next to Alice 'how's Lily doing?'

'You need to rest, I'll get you home' Sirius ignored her question, extending his arm towards her to help her up once again.

'I'm not going Sirius' she told him calmly, her voice thick with exhaustion 'I'll close my eyes here for a while, I promise, but I won't leave until that baby arrives.'

For a second Sirius looked as if he was going to argue, but seemingly accepting that anything he did say would be a waste of breath he let out an exasperated sigh.

'Fine, but you are going to rest!' he told her firmly, and she nodded in agreement.

'Now how's Lily?' she asked again, this time turning to Alice.

'She's all right now that James is here, but it's going to be a long night for her...' Alice grimaced, thinking back to the day before.

Alina's eyes widened as her mind fully processed the bags under her friends eyes, and the paleness of Alice's complexion.

'Al! You have to go home! What are you still doing here?'

Alice gave her a weary smile 'Lily wouldn't go without me, so I let Neville with Frank and got her here as soon as possible, and believe me, that was a battle in itself...'

'Go. Home!' Alina told her firmly 'I'll let you know when he's born, but you were here yesterday Al! Go be with Neville and Frank!' she continued a little more softly.

Alice paused for a second, biting her lip as she thought through Alina's words.

'Yeah you're right' she sighed 'But let me know as soon as possible all right?'

'Of course' Alina smiled, giving her friend as small hug as she left.

Within seconds of Alice's departure, Alina tucked herself comfortable under Sirius' arm, her head pressed gently against his chest, and listening to the familiar sound of his heartbeat, she fell asleep.

* * *

If she dreamt, she didn't remember it.

She didn't stir from her sleep by any movement Sirius made, or any sound from other people in the room.

The only thing that woke her was the sound of her name on Sirius' lips and a gently shaking on her shoulder.

Blearily she opened her eyes, frowning as the fluorescent lighting of the room reached them.

'Huh?' she grumbled sleepily, looking up at Sirius' grinning face 'wha?'

'Lily's given birth! It's time to meet him Al'

She blinked three times. Her mind processing the information, before she sat up bolt right, and wide grin illuminating her features.

'Has she named him yet?' she asked quickly, climbing out of the seat.

'Yes' Sirius said brightly 'Harry!'

'Harry...' she sounded the name on her lips, and smiled warmly 'Harry Potter...I like it!'


	45. Chapter 49

**Chapter 45:**

It had started as a place of solace; a way in which he could find peace to clear his mind and to feel close to her once again. Yet as the months had gone by it had become an addiction, one that his mind and body had become utterly reliant on.

So he kept going there.

Through rain, sun or snow, he would stand there alone, sometimes crying, sometimes talking and sometimes in complete silence.

All that he knew was that when he closed his eyes, as he told her his dilemmas, he could imagine she was still there with him; that her intelligent, beautiful eyes were watching his every expression carefully, as if analysing what he truly meant.

He often wondered if the gaping wound that had slashed across his beating heart would ever close.

_But I don't want it too._

And he knew that for as long as that statement was true, it never would.

'I care about her, she's nice, she's funny and she's clever...but she's not _you' _he told her, once again.

He had tried desperately to find some logical answer for his situation but it never came, and his need to visit this place had gradually become more and more obsessive, starting to have an impact on his everyday life.

He was late for meetings, he missed out on going out with his friends and he was frustrating Dorcas, but one thing that he was sure of was that he couldn't stop.

He still loved her with all he had.

Slowly, and gently, as if stroking the cheek of a lover, he brushed his hand against the cold grave stone asking himself the question that tormented his dreams

_Why did it have to be you?_

* * *

'Elyse?'

The sound of Peter calling from the kitchen caused Elyse to sigh as she was forced to put down the book that she had been reading.

'Yeah?' she replied, climbing off of the sofa and making her was towards him.

'What's all this?' he asked in confusion, turning to face her as she reached the doorway.

He was crouched on the floor, one of their cupboard doors wide open before him, one of his hands holding one of the many jars that filled the cupboard.

'Erm...well...it's Polyjuice potion...' she told him sheepishly, biting her lip nervously.

'Polyjuice –'he began, looking at her strangely '_why?'_

'Well, you see, I was talking to Mad-Eye –'

'When? Why were you talking to Mad-Eye?' he interrupted, giving her an accusatory look.

'At James and Lil's wedding!' she snapped, meeting his steely gaze with her own ' and he mentioned that they should have used Polyjuice potion for the event as it would have been more cautious...and he also said that no one had time to brew it these days...so- well – I offered to do it!'

'But you said you didn't want to be involved with the Order!'

'Well there's a difference between being idiotic and plastering my face as the front of the Order by going off and trying to fight them, and doing something to protect my friends!' she argued 'I've told you time and time again that you're stupid for trying to fight them, it's dangerous and it puts everyone you care about at risk! But I have never said that I wouldn't protect myself and the people I care about, so if making a crummy potion will do that –then so be it!'

Peter looked at her in shock, and she felt a warm tinge travel up her neck, reddening her cheeks. She had never shouted at him before, but the frustration and anger she had kept hidden from him had bubbled to the surface and reared its head.

He stayed silent for a second longer, before smiling softly at her and crossing the space of the room to pull her gently into his arms.

'I forget how hard it is for you sometimes' he told her, pressing his lips to her head 'and I'm sorry for that, okay?' he tilted her chin upward to look at him and gazed down at her with his blue eyes.

She knew she should question him, ask him where he went to at night, if there was someone else or something perhaps darker...but when he held her so tight, and looked down at her as the man she loved, she couldn't help melting into him.

Pressing her lips gently to his, she forgot about any deceit, and felt the familiar electricity shoot up her spine as he deepened the kiss, letting his hands roam freely over her body.

'I want you' she breathed through the kiss, and she smiled as a soft groan escaped his lips.

With a cry of surprise she laughed as he swept her off of the floor and carried her towards their bedroom, never breaking the kiss.

Through the rush of emotions, the heat of the moment, and the touch of his hands, she didn't catch the final glance that Peter gave towards the bottom cupboard in their kitchen.

It was barely Eight in the morning, when Peter awoke, untangling himself from Elyse' embrace he quietly made his way to the kitchen.

When he reached the doorway he spared a second to look back at the woman in his bed, and he felt his heart give a pang. She was so peaceful as the early morning rays shone across her soft skin, illuminating her beauty with its gentle touch.

_This is for Elyse._

He reminded himself once again of a fact that once seemed so honest and open, but was now more bleary and irrelevant.

Because now, Peter couldn't deny the excitement. He couldn't hide from himself the anticipation he felt for providing his Master with such an opportunity.

_He _would be the one to give the Dark Lord his victim, and _he _would be the one awarded for his duty.

And Peter found that utterly exhilarating.

Only the sound of his feet padding across the kitchen floor could be heard through the apartment, and the creaking of the bottom cupboard.

Extending one of his slightly chubby hands he grasped one of the bottles that Elyse had stocked it with and tucked it immediately into his robes.

Quickly, no longer taking the care to remain silent that he had before, he scribbled a note for Elyse and left it on the side where she would find it, before summoning his shoes, flattening his hair with his hands and apparating from the building.

He had gone to his Master first, something that both excited and horrified him. But through his master's joy of his plan, Peter reminded himself that he was keeping himself safe.

_Nothing could defeat His power._

He had felt pride when he saw the envy of the other Death Eater's; he imagined their jealous glances on their faces from behind their masks, and how they would whisper amongst themselves when he had left.

He was far more important than any of them to the Dark Lord, a social placement he had never been used to; having always been the least important Marauder amongst his friends.

He didn't ever register the smug looks on the Death Eater's faces, or the disgust in their voices when they spoke of him. He never once noticed the glint in his Master's eye whenever he divulged critical information too him; betraying his friends, one by one.

So when he arrived at the Order, just after Eleven, Peter was full of energy and purpose, feeling very aware of the jar of liquid that was present in his pocket.

'Morning, Wormtail!'James' enthusiastic voice welcomed him, as he had entered the living room.

'Morning Prongs' he grinned easily 'is Mad-Eye in today?' he asked, somewhat casually.

'Nope, he's at the Ministry until this evening' James replied, his gaze focused on the Four month old baby in his wife's arms.

'Hello Peter' she greeted him warmly 'are you coming to London with us?'

'London? Who's going?' he asked her.

'Oh, well we came to meet Alli and Sirius, and Remus may be joining us later, he had something to do first...' her voice trailed off, as her mind wondered to Remus.

'Erm...yeah! I'd love to join you' he told her, a smile plastered on his face, as he hid the annoyance he felt at not having already been invited.

'James, can you run and sort out a bottle for Harry, he's getting hungry' she told her husband.

'Of course' he grinned, looking down at the small child who was starting to whinge, before moving quickly from the room and heading towards the kitchen.

'Ouch, ouch, ouch, Harry! No!' Lily told the child, chose tiny hands had clasped around her hair.

'Here, let me help you' Peter chuckled, his heart thumping wildly with excitement, he quickly moved towards Lily, gently taking the baby into his arms as she tried to loosen his grip of her hair.

'Much better' she grinned, finally free of her child's grasp.

Peter laughed merrily, turning the child to face him 'with a grip like that, you'll be an ace on a broom!' he told the boy, as he carefully fished the remaining few strands of Lily's hair, that had broken off, from the child's fists.

When he had gotten a few strands, he smiled at Lily 'do you want to go back to Mummy now?' he asked, handing the child back to her.

'Thanks Peter' she grinned.

'No worries, Lil, I'll be right back anyway' he told her, leaving the room quickly and heading for the stairs.

His heart was pounding in his chest as he found himself standing outside Dorcas' door, he knew she had been in the kitchen with James, he had heard her as he passed it on his way to the staircase, but he was terrified of her coming back.

Quickly, with shaking hands he opened her bedroom door. He stuck his head round the door at first, wanting to assure himself that he was completely alone before entering, and with a relieved sigh, he did so.

He moved silently and quickly, trying to contain his raspy breath and the calm his thumping heart. He glanced once more at the doorway, before taking the small glass bottle from his pocket and the note that his master had so perfectly forged, and putting them beside each other on her dressing table.

With a relived smirk his eyes absorbed the setting before him, before he hurried out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

* * *

'So...Remus is coming with you today huh?' Dorcas cringed at herself. She knew she sounded desperate, trying to obtain information of Remus' whereabouts through his friends, but she had reached the end of her tether, her desperation had outweighed her pride.

'Yeah, I think so' James replied, glancing at her from the corner of his eye as he prepared Harry's bottle' but he said he had something to do before, so we're not too sure...we thought he was seeing you' he frowned, turning fully to look at her.

'No, he's not' she sighed, looking bashfully down at the floor 'he's so hard to read...one minute he'll be fine, and then he'll disappear! I mean sometimes it's for hours, but other times it's for actual days!'

James sighed, looking at the frustration in Dorcas' eyes, he didn't know what was going on with his friend either, whether it was because of Polly or something else, but there was no way on earth he was having that conversation with her.

'I think this is something you need to discuss with Remus and not me, Dorcas' he replied, slightly frostier than how he had meant to.

'I have tried James' she replied coarsely 'which is why I have no clue as to where he is right now, or where I stand with him, I wasn't trying to be nosy using you, I was just worried about him'

James could see the honesty in her eyes, and hear the distress in her tone, and he immediately felt guilty for his rudeness. Over the years of which he had known Remus, he had always been extremely protective over his friend, particularly when people asked questions about him. It had become a habit of their group to push away anyone that questioned his whereabouts, or why he often went missing, and that often meant being rude.

'Sorry' he muttered 'I know you're worried...if I see him I'll tell him to get in contact with you okay?'

'Thank you' she smiled softly, although the sadness didn't quite leave her eyes, as she turned and left the room, returning to her bedroom which in her present state was feeling more and more like a cage.

She couldn't stand being cooped up; not being allowed to see friends or family, or to even leave the confines of Headquarters.

_It's driving me mad!_

She swung her door open and threw herself angrily onto her bed. It was for the best, that was something she knew, she couldn't see friends or family members without putting each of them in serious danger; not after what had happened to Dearborn.

As he mind wondered to her missing friend, she closed her eyes tightly to prevent the tears.

Since she had started at the ministry he had been like a mentor to her, taking time to show her the ropes and introduce her to everyone. It had been like having an older brother to look after her, and she had completely idolized him.

And when he disappeared...

_No. Don't think about it._

Being stuck in one house, with one room of her own, had not helped her grief. It had not helped her to keep her mind off of things, when there was very little for her to do except to think.

With another loud sigh, she sat up in bed, her eyes roaming across the room towards her window, but before her eyes met with the familiar crispy glow of the December sun, they caught something else. Something unusual, and out of place.

Frowning, she scrambled across her bed and over to her dressing table, where she found the unfamiliar glass bottle and a note beside it.

She opened the letter first, and her eyes widened with both surprise and happiness as they were met with the familiar scrawl.

_Dear Dorcas,_

_I know I've been a complete prat to you lately and that you're_

_Probably extremely annoyed with me at the moment._

_Please forgive me. It's just that I've been finding it so hard to_

_Come to terms with my feelings for you when the only person_

_I've ever felt this way before is Polly. _

_I want to talk to you, to spend time with you, and I know that_

_This is hard to do at Headquarters so I came up with a plan._

_Beside this letter is a bottle of Polyjuice potion, it has Lily's hair in it._

_Take it, and meet me outside Ollivander's at three pm this afternoon._

_That way we can go on a real date, and people will just think it's me and Lily_

_Out as friends. I hope you can forgive me for how I've been lately._

_I'll see you there,_

_Remus x_

Her stomach erupted with butterflies, and her breath caught in her throat as her mind finally registered the words before her. With a grin that she couldn't for the life of her suppress plastered on her face she fell backwards onto the bed, grabbing a pillow and hugging it tightly to her.

Any frustration and anger she had felt that morning had completely evaporated as she thought of what he had just told her.

She knew that he had loved Remus with everything he had, and for him to compare his feelings for her with what he had felt for Polly, caused tingles to shoot up her spine.

_He wanted to take her on a date._

So much that he had told his friends that he was too busy to go out with them, and made use of a potion that would get him in trouble if he was discovered.

She appreciated that she needed to keep this between them. Anyone who knew would either tell her not to go due to her safety, or would judge Remus for his rule breaking. It felt forbidden to her, and romantic, and the thought of the day to come filled her with complete excitement.

She glanced at the clock on the wall, and read it to be half past twelve, with a small giggle she ran into the bathroom adjourning her room and turned on the shower.

Today was going to be a good day.

* * *

When she had awoken, he hadn't been there.

Basked in the rays of the winter sun, she had rolled over, stretching her arm out to touch him, and she had found nothing but empty space.

With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach she had let out a deep sigh, before getting out of bed, wrapping her dressing gown tightly around her, and heading for the kitchen.

As soon as she entered, she saw the note from Peter on the side.

_Gone to Headquarters to see the boys_

_Will be back later._

_Love you_

_Pete_

She pursed her lips slightly, annoyed that seeing his friends had been so urgent that he had left her in bed alone that morning, but she knew he hadn't spent time with them in a while and she was glad to see he was reconnecting with them.

She made herself a quick cup of tea, before quickly getting ready for the day.

It was unlike her to stay in bed so late, particularly when she had planned to go to Diagon Alley for Christmas Shopping.

Normally, she would grimace at the thought of how busy the shops would be and how long she had to queue, but she knew it would not be the case today.

As the war was progressing, and times were growing darker, Diagon Alley had become less and less busy as it had become a more frequent haunt for Death Eaters.

She flinched slightly, at the thought of having to see Bellatrix and her new husband parading through the streets but she had avoided it as long as possible, and she knew that as a Pureblood, she was not a target.

Within the hour she was hurrying through Diagon Alley, her list of presents clasped in her hand and a thick scarf wrapped around her neck, protecting her from the cold wind.

As she passed the Three Broomsticks, a glimpse of dark red hair caught her attention from the corner of her eye, and she turned to see Lily hurrying across the street.

'LIL!' she called loudly, frowning as Lily didn't turn to greet her 'Lily!' she called again, jogging over to meet her friend, and grasping her arm tightly before she could hurry off.

Elyse raised her eyebrows in surprise as Lily jumped violently, spinning around with her wand extended straight towards her.

As recognition dawned on Lily's face, Elyse watched as the ferocious expression on her friends' face softened, and was replaced with a smile.

'Oh, sorry Elyse...I was in a rush, and I guess you made me jump' she laughed, looking strangely uncomfortable and nervous.

'Where are you going? Do you fancy a drink or something?' Elyse asked, indicating towards the Three Broomsticks.

'What? Oh, no, sorry El, I was supposed to be meeting...erm..James, about five minutes ago...and he...he's got Harry...'

'Oh...I thought he was with the boys today...' Elyse frowned.

'Oh yeah he is! But we all ended up coming up here' Lily replied quickly 'to London that is, not _here, _which is why I've got to go...so...erm bye!'' she squeaked, and with a blur of red, she was pacing down the street moving quickly away from her.

'Erm...okay...bye?' Elyse muttered turning and walking back in the opposite direction that Lily had disappeared in.

Shaking her head she carried along the street, trying to focus on her shopping rather than the odd behaviour of her friend. As she cleared her mind and headed for the next shop, she stopped in utter surprise at the sight of Peter standing casually with Sirius and Alina outside of Flourish and Blotts.

Hesitantly, not wanting to get the same reaction she had from Lily, she made her way towards them, taking care to call out his name before reaching him to not make him jump.

He turned in surprise at the sound of her voice, and immediately smiled at her, causing her stomach to flutter and her cheeks to warm.

'Hello you' he kissed her lightly on the lips 'I didn't know you'd be here!'

'I didn't know you would all be here either' she replied, smiling at the others, and kissing Peter back.

She opened her mouth to speak again, but her words were forgotten and her chin dropped slightly as the sight of Lily Evans exiting the shop beside them with James and Harry met her eyes.

She paused, trying to comprehend the physical possibility of how Lily had managed to somehow get to Flourish and Blotts when barely a second before she had been walking towards Ollivanders.

'Oh hello El!' she greeted her brightly, her cheeks flushed from the cold, and a broad smile on her face.

'How – how did you get here?' Elyse blurted out, her brows furrowed with confusion.

'What do you mean?' Lily asked, suddenly looking equally as confused 'we apparated to London...but we just wanted to quickly pop in here before heading to Oxford stre –'

'No, not how you _got _here...but how you got _here!'_ she replied, feeling frustrated as everyone looked at her with utterly blank expressions.

'I don't understand...' Lily stated slowly, glancing around as if to see if any of the others had an insight into what Elyse was trying to say.

'Lily, I saw you literally one minute ago and you were walking in the opposite direction!' Elyse said, utterly baffled by Lily's strange behaviour.

Lily frowned, her green eyes piercing into Elyse's as if trying to determine whether her friend was joking, and apparently realising that she wasn't her confusion turned to concern.

'Elyse, I've been in Flourish and Blotts for the last twenty minutes, and I haven't seen you at all...' she told her slowly, staring at her as if she was mad.

'Lily! I saw you over there! I spoke to you! You said you were going to meet James and get Harry?' Elyse turned, looking at each of them, trying to find an explanation.

'You are joking aren't you?' Lily finally replied, now looking worried.

'Of course I'm not! I don't understand...' Elyse trailed off, not knowing what to make of the situation itself...she knew she had seen Lily, she had spoken to her face to face but looking at the others, she could tell that they didn't believe her.

'Maybe you thought it was...' James began, but she quickly cut him off.

'Look into my mind!' she blurted, turning to Alina 'you'll see! I'm not going mad, it was definitely Lily!'

Sirius opened his mouth to reply to her, but Alina lifted her hand cutting him off. She looked at Elyse, staring intently into her face, the piercing stare reminding her strangely of Dumbledore.

Elyse didn't know exactly what she was looking for, but seemingly she found it, as the grim line that Alina's mouth had fallen into slackened slightly, and she nodded her head shortly with consent. Everyone stood in a strange silence, as they watched the exchange, but Elyse never moved her eyes from Alina's. She barely noticed the feeling of Alina seeping into her mind, it was an odd tugging sensation in her mind that enlightened her of another presence, but the pain or discomfort she had waited for did not come. She stood patiently, her gaze fixed on Alina's expression, waiting for her to bear witness to the situation.

It took less than five seconds before Alina's blank expression turned to one of shock. Her eyebrows shot up, and her mouth dropped slightly; her eyes making full contact with Elyse's now filled with belief.

'She's telling the truth!' she told everyone.

'But how can she be?' Lily asked, looking at Alina 'I've been with you all this whole time! It couldn't have been me!'

'Well if it wasn't you...' Elyse began, an ice cold sensation filling the pit of her stomach.

'Then who was it?' James asked grimly.

* * *

Dorcas made her way quickly to Ollivanders, scowling at her idiocy.

Her encounter with Elyse had shaken her up, making the reality of what she was doing finally hit home. In her haste to see Remus, in her happiness over his words and the thought of truly being with him, she hadn't paused to consider what precautions she needed to have been taken.

Namely, undertaking the traits of the person she was posing as. Cursing herself once again, she thought back to the confused expression on Elyse' face as she had hurried away from her, and grimaced at what the implications would have been had it been someone other than Elyse that had seen her.

_And charging through Diagon Alley looking ready to kill really isn't helping._

She stopped in her tracks for a second, as her mind processed that thought. She needed to calm down, and she needed to adapt 'Lily behaviour.' Taking a deep breath, she wiped the frown off of her face, and pulled her grimaced lips into a neutral expression, as she started forward once again at a more leisurely pace.

However desperate she was to see Remus, she needed to stay under radar, and she definitely did not want her cover to be blown before she reached him.

It took all the self restraint she possessed to prevent herself from running around the final corner that she knew would open up to reveal Ollivander's and the short distance before her suddenly felt like miles, but within seconds she made it turning then final corner to find...nothing.

He wasn't there.

Disappointment hit her like a punch in the stomach, making her hands slightly tremble and her heart fall to the floor.

She reached the shop front and with a heavy sigh she leant against the window, her eyes fixed on the corner she had just turned; waiting for the familiar sight of his sandy brown hair to come into view.

The loud crack of someone apparating caused her head to jerk around to the opposite direction, her heart rising with hope and her mind expecting her eyes to be met with the sight of Remus Lupin.

It took less than a second for her heart to stop in sheer terror, and her eyes to widen in horror. As she reached for her wand, the cacophony of screams erupted in the streets, and His high pitched cackle sent chills of dread through her body.

She didn't have time to form words, instead she through a string of non verbal curses at rapid fire directly at him, but with barely a flick of His wand, they were all effortlessly deflected.

His thin, snakelike lips twisted into a taunting scowl, and his blood red eyes narrowed as they made direct contact with her own.

It was at that moment that she knew she was going to die.

She no longer heard the blood curdling screaming of terrified shoppers, her heart thudded loudly in her ears, as if trying desperately to beat its way out of her rib cage.

She lifted her chin defiantly towards him, and stared directly into his eyes, bracing herself for the end.

'Avada Kedavra' he hissed.

And a flash of green light erupted before her eyes.

**A/N: Okay, so I wasn't planning on updating till next week, but Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is out tonight at the cinema and I don't have tickets so I needed to keep my mind off of the fact that I could be watching it right now lol.**

**Thank you so much for all of your reviews, they really mean so much!**

**Keep reviewing though, they do keep me going!**

**Thanks!x**


	46. Chapter 50

**Chapter 46:**

It started from a distance, like a wave sweeping through Diagon Alley. The far away sounds of shouting built in a crescendo until it sounded as if the whole world had erupted into insanity. The screaming exploded around them, the sound of running feet sending vibrations through the pavement.

'LILY, GET HARRY HOME. NOW!'

No more time was spared for arguing, as members of the public ran past them, screaming in horror. Not a moment was taken to consider calling for back up, or for making logical decisions, as people were splinching around them as they attempted through their panic to apparate away. Instead, as Lily left with Harry in her arms, they drew their wands and simultaneously sprinted against the tide of fleeing shoppers, straight for the source of such madness.

'OI, YOU!' Sirius' yelled, grabbing a man who was running passed them.

The man tried to struggle against Sirius' hold, but his grip was firm, and instead he stared at Sirius as if questioning his sanity.

'WHAT?' the man shouted angrily back at him, his eyes darted past their heads, checking his safety.

'WHY IS EVERYONE RUNNING? WHAT HAPPENED?' Sirius barked, trying desperately to be heard over the continuous screaming and shouting surrounding them.

'YOU-KNOW-WHO! HE WAS HERE! NOW, LET. ME. GO!' shaking Sirius violently, the man managed to break the grasp and apparated away from them with a resounding crack.

'You-Know-Who? Here?' breathed Elyse, her eyes widened with fear.

'Shit.' James muttered 'come on.'

With James leading them, the group continued, with more caution, to round the corner that everyone had been fleeing from.

'Alina? Anyone round there?' James asked quietly, pausing before he turned the corner.

Taking a deep breath, Alina closed her eyes and pushed her mind forward, carefully leading it around the corner before them, and searching widely for the thoughts of anyone else.

'Ollivander's hiding in a safe room in his shop...but that's it' she told them opening her eyes 'but be careful, Voldemort is far more skilled with Occlumency, I don't know whether I'd be able to sense his mind...' she warned.

Moving pain-stakingly slowly, the group edged around the corner together.

Scanning the area, Alina felt a moment of relief at their being no sign of Voldemort or any Death Eaters, but that sense of relief was quickly replaced with utter dread as she realised that the street was not, however, empty.

She saw the crumpled figure of a woman on the floor outside of Ollivander's, she saw the familiar dark red hair spread out around her face; and she saw the brilliant emerald green eyes, now glass-like and empty.

She felt the vibrations shoot through her chest as the scream tore from her throat, causing her to stumble backwards as her mind refused to accept what her eyes were seeing.

_No,no,no,no,no,no,no._

'LILY! NO!'

It was the sound of James' cry, as he sprinting across the street, falling to his knees beside his wife's lifeless body, which brought Alina back from the hysteria she had fallen into.

'No.' She quietly voiced the words that her mind had formed 'No.' She repeated more firmly.

Her sharp eyes flickered to all of the faces of her friends; the tear stained cheeks of Elyse as she sobbed loudly, the darting of Peter's eyes as if he were waiting to be attacked, and the white face of Sirius as he stood frozen staring at the distraught form of his best friend, cradling Lily.

'James!' she snapped, causing him to look up at her in shock 'it's not her' she told him in a softer voice.

'W-wha-?' he questioned, between sobs.

'Lily took Harry home.' She said firmly, trying to convince herself of her words 'how can it be? It just – it just can't' she looked from James to Sirius in desperation, as if pleading for her words to be right.

She watched as Sirius frowned, as if considering her words. He met her gaze for a split second before staring directly at Lily's lifeless form.

He stood in silence for a couple of minutes, his gaze never wavering from Lily's face, his eyes narrowing with concentration. After what seemed like a year, his eyes widened slightly and his mouth dropped open.

'Prongs, Alli's right, look at her hair...'

They watched in stunned silence as the deep red of Lily's locks started to lighten, and decrease in length. Alice's sobs stopped abruptly, and were replaced by a gasp as Lily's green eyes suddenly changed to blue and her face became more round.

Numb

Numb was the only way Alina could describe how she felt at the sight of it. She couldn't feel the relief that James was clearly trying to hide, or the sudden despair that Alice quickly fell back into; she just felt the familiar dull tingle sweep over her body as her mind closed herself off from the situation.

_It's just too horrible._

She wouldn't allow herself to comprehend the situation. She couldn't. She couldn't even begin to consider ways of how Remus would be told.

She felt Sirius' arms wrap tightly around her and she looked straight up at him, her eyes questioning him on how this could have happened. Squeezing her firmly he shook his head, his eyes darkened with sadness.

It was Elyse who managed to speak first, her face chalk white and her entire frame visibly shaking in Peter's embrace, she stared unwaveringly into the empty eyes of Dorcas Meadows.

'Why – h-how did she look like L-Lily' she asked, her voice cracking slightly.

'Polyjuice Potion' James replied, staring down at the girl who was still cradled to his chest.

'Let's get her home' Alina muttered quietly 'Dumbledore will want to see her body.'

* * *

_Polyjuice Potion._

Elyse shook her head, clenching her fists as she tried to block James' words from her mind. The two simple words had hit her hard, causing her blood to run cold and her breathing to catch in her throat.

_Surely not._

Her hands were shaking, as were her knees below her, yet despite the support, the touch of Peter's arms on her waist felt as if she were being pierced by a thousand knives.

_No. Don't think that._

But she couldn't help it. She couldn't help that her skin suddenly crawled as she turned her head slightly to glimpse the man who was embracing her so tightly.

She couldn't help that she wanted to scratch out his pale blue eyes as they darted around like a deer caught in the headlights.

And despite the burning rage that erupted throughout her body, she couldn't help that her mouth stayed firmly shut.

_You're wrong._

She knew that she could be. Paranoia could be playing games with her mind, taunting her for its sadistic pleasure.

_But you don't think you're wrong._

She felt her lip tremble as the truth of her thoughts hit home. The voice was right. She didn't think that she was wrong, and that thought terrified her.

How had she got to this stage? How had she found herself suddenly finding it believable, that _her _Peter, the man she loved, could be responsible for such awful things?

She stumbled forward, breaking away from Peter's grasp as the others took action in moving Dorcas' body.

'I – I h-have to g-get home'

She heard herself blurt the words, yet her mind didn't recollect making the command to her mouth.

'I'll come with you...'

'NO!' she had shouted before she had time to prevent herself from doing so, and she grimaced slightly as her friends turned to her in surprise.

'Sorry' she muttered 'but you should go with the others...y-you'll need t-to help with the r-report...and...And...Remus is going to need you' her voice broke at the final word, as her mind turned to Remus.

Poor, gentle Remus. She closed her eyes tightly at the thought of how he would take the news, and barely registering her friends' agreements to her words, she apparated from the scene, not bothering to even glance at Peter before she left.

When she arrived home she didn't spare a minute to think. At lightning speed she ran through her house, skidding across the floor as she burst into the kitchen, and threw the bottom cupboard door open causing it to slam loudly.

_Please be wrong, please be wrong, please be wrong._

'Please be wrong!' she pleaded her thoughts out loud, her voice sounding foreign as it danced on the edge of hysteria.

Like a woman crazed, her pulled bottle after bottle from the cupboard, depositing them onto the kitchen floor, completely emptying the contents of the cupboard.

Her heart was thumping wildly, making her feel as if it were about to burst through her ribcage.

'Come _on!'_ she muttered angrily to herself, as her trembling fingers fumbled in her coat pocket as they aimed to get her wand.

_Please be wrong, please be wrong, please be wrong._

If sheer will power were enough to grant wishes she knew what the result would be. She knew that there would be thirty bottles sprawled out onto her floor.

But as she muttered a counting spell, and watched as the jars shot into pairs, leaving one sole bottle alone, her heart sunk to the floor.

'_No'_ she sobbed out, her chest heaving as she couldn't catch a breath '_please, _God, no!'

But will power doesn't make wishes come true, and as the number twenty-nine formed in the air before her in crimson red, she knew that her thoughts had been correct.

The Order were being betrayed.

And Peter was the one doing it.

* * *

He was standing to leave when his wand started to vibrate in his pocket. Startled, he quickly pulled it out and blinked in alarm as the tip had turned a bright green colour.

Clenching his teeth as a wave of nausea hit him, he turned to give Polly's grave one more glance before he apparated back to Headquarters.

He had been sent the message too many times for him not to immediately know what the colour green meant.

Green meant dead.

Within a second he was in the hallway, the sound of sobbing reaching his ears immediately.

'Who is it?' he heard Sirius' voice sound from the living room.

'It's me' he replied.

Sirius was before him in seconds, and after the sound of heavy footsteps crossing the room James and Peter were soon beside him.

'Moony...'

It was the regret and compassion in Sirius' voice that caused the jet of fear to shoot through him. The softness and sadness in his friend's tone was so alien to him that he would not have placed the speaker as Sirius in a million years had he not been witnessing it with his own eyes.

'Who is it?' his own voice sounded a light-year away, as his mind suddenly became hazed with dizziness.

The moment he saw Sirius falter after opening his mouth to reply, he knew the answer. He could see it in his friends' eyes; the way they were waiting for him to break, for his soul to snap before them.

'It was Dorcas, Moony'

He closed his eyes as James confirmed his suspicions, and clenched his teeth tightly to hold in the sobs that were clawing against his throat as they begged for release.

'H-how?' he asked tightly, curling his hands into fists.

'She was in Diagon Alley...' Sirius began, but Remus quickly interrupted.

'What!' he barked, his eyes shooting open as they glanced manically between his friends as if waiting for them to admit to lying.

'...she was using Polyjuice potion' Sirius continued sadly, watching his friend warily 'and Voldemort found her there.'

'But why would she...? How did she? How did he _know?'_ he looked at his friends desperately, his brown eyes begging for the answers to the questions that were stampeding through his mind.

'We don't know, Moony' James replied quietly 'we're so sorry mate'

Even through his earnest condolences the words still sounded so empty to all of them. Apologies and sympathy would not help; they wouldn't bring her back.

'Where is she?' Remus asked quietly, keeping his gaze aimed steadily over their shoulders.

'In the living room'

He didn't pause to reply, he barely felt their strong hands grasping his shoulder in a brotherly act of support as he brushed past them. All that he could feel was the tearing of his heart as another person whom he cared for was ripped from his life.

The room was full of the Order members, but his eyes were immediately drawn to the small crowd of people who were circled around what seemed to be a camp bed in the middle of the room.

Alina saw him first; she turned to him, her eyes, dry yet haunted by sadness, bore into his own. She stared at him for a brief second, not needing words to convey to him how she felt, before she nudged Lily and signalled for everyone to move away from the bed.

Then he saw her.

She looked so calm. So peaceful that she could easily have been sleeping. But he knew better.

She was too still, too quiet and as he gently stroked her cheek; too cold.

She was gone.

And he was alone.

Again.

* * *

'It's getting worse' Alice muttered, as they huddled in the kitchen whilst Remus sat with Dorcas.

'You're right' James nodded in agreement 'they're getting stronger. _He's _getting stronger...'

'I can't remember the last time we all laughed, or did something fun' Alina continued 'I hate how we're just waiting for the next person to die.' She shook her head angrily, letting out a loud sigh.

'The other side have casualties too...and they are getting caught, don't forget that' Frank reasoned, his expression grim.

'Frank's right, we're not losing!' Sirius agreed, frowning with determination.

'No, we're not...but the battles growing a lot darker.' Alina reminded them, before her hard expression turned to worry 'what's he going to do?' she asked, gesturing down the hall to where Remus was.

'I dunno' James shrugged, catching Sirius' eye 'but I'm worried about him...he's already been acting strangely...'

'I – I'm going to go and check on Elyse!' Peter announced suddenly

'S-she was really upset and I don't want to leave her at home alone...'

'Yeah, yeah course mate!' James quickly replied, flashing a reassuring smile at his friend 'thanks for coming to help...if you fancy a few beers later pop round mine, Sirius' coming too...'

'Yeah...erm...yeah I might do' Peter replied quickly, not quite meeting James' gaze.

Something in his tone caused Alina's ears to prick up, and she found her head jerking upwards to look at her friend. There was something in that nervous gaze; the way his eyes were darting once again that caused her mind to twinge, as if begging her to allow it to explore Peter's thoughts.

Frowning at the lapse in control, she pushed the urge firmly away, confused as to why her mind would have reacted so strangely.

'You all right Peter?' she found herself asking him, her tone slightly sharper than she had intended.

'What? Erm...yeah! Fine! Why?' Peter replied quickly, looking at her in alarm.

'Well you seem...' she began, but Peter quickly interrupted.

'I guess I feel a bit jumpy, I-I mean we've been betrayed again right? I just don't want to leave Elyse alone for too long...' he told her, and immediately Alina felt guilty for how she had questioned him.

'Oh yeah, of course, well we'll see you later' she replied softly, nodding her goodbye.

It wasn't until he had disappeared from the kitchen that she thought about his words.

_We've been betrayed again, right?_

He was right, and a wave of anger swept through her body.

_Who was it? And why would they do it?_

**_A/N: Thank you so much for you reviews I really do appreciate them all!_**

**_To answer a few points: I have been putting things up to break off the different character's sections, but for some reason they haven't been showing up? So i've tried a new way for this chapter so i'm hoping that it works this time? _**

**_ But thank you DreamOfaKiss for letting me know about it! And also I KNOW i'm absolutely awful to Remus, but I do love him I swear! Unfortunately he's going to have to be put under suspicion so it's all leading to that... :( _**

**_ChemistryGoddess - 'I just hate his little rat guts' oh you summed up my exact emotions and that really made me laugh when I read it haha!_**

**_A big thanks/shout out to:_**

**_ NymphadoraDescoudresRothBlac k_**

**_Naflower05_**

**_NeverSayNever95_**

**_93_**

**_Spannieren_**

**_Madhatter47_**

**_Love-cdc_**

**_ksks_**

**_Dreamwalker-Bibliophile_**

**_And if i've forgotten anyone, let me know and i'll give you a shout out!_**

**_Thank you so much to all of you you brighten my day :) x_**


	47. Chapter 51

**Chapter 47:**

It was raining. A grey drizzle that matched the mood of the day perfectly. As Remus walked the familiar pathway of the graveyard a thick lump formed in his throat, proceeding the dampening of his cheeks that had nothing to do with the weather.

He made no effort to take cover from the rain, instead he relished in it. He allowed it to soak through his skin, causing his robes to cling to him awkwardly and his hot tears to blend in with its coldness.

As he reached the familiar gravestone his heart gave a lurch and his uneven breath quickly became racked with sobs.

He had been tainted since he was a boy. Since that fateful day that had changed his life forever. He had been marked as a monster, as cursed; shadowed by death and evil.

He had grown up knowing that for one night, each month, he thirsted for the blood of the innocent, he craved destruction and death and preyed on anyone who fell into his clutches.

Yet it was only at this moment, as he stood ankle deep in mud, that he realised that the curse had spread far from its monthly confines. It was in his every movement, every touch and word and decision. The monster didn't evaporate as soon as the full moon disappeared, it flowed through his veins, and it was pumped directly from his heart.

And with every pump his heart took, it reared its ugly head, taking out its sadistic pleasure on those he loved.

_I am dangerous. Dangerous to everyone I care about..._

What else could explain it? Surely it was a sign, some chemical reaction created by the Gods to preventing a monster from truly existing as human. The total destruction of anything it loved.

'I'm so sorry' he whispered, not knowing how else to voice how he felt.

He felt anguish, and pain and anger searing through his veins like lava.

He felt sadness, and loneliness, and desperation.

But most of all he felt guilty.

Guilty for hurting those he loved.

Guilty for being what he was.

And most of all, guilty that he was standing over Polly's grave, rather than Dorcas' body.

* * *

Alina sat in Lily and James' kitchen, smiling down at the baby in her arms who was gurgling happily.

'I wonder if he'll be a know it all at school like Lily?' she asked out loud to nobody in particular.

'Oh as if!' James laughed loudly, scoffing at the idea of it.

'I'm sorry but what's wrongwith your son working hard at his school work James?' Lily asked, raising her eyebrows 'and i wasn't a know it all, Alli' she added, causing Alina to roll her eyes.

'We've got a junior Marauder in training, and add Neville to the equation and we're half way there' Sirius grinned.

'There is no way in hell that my son is going to end up like the pair of you –'

'And what's that supposed to mean!' James replied indignantly.

'Have any of you spoke to Remus?' Alina quickly interrupted, immediately stopping the commencing argument.

James and Sirius exchanged a grim look and Sirius shook his head sadly.

'We saw him briefly, but he apparated away almost immediately...we look everywhere we could think of, but you know Moony...if he doesn't want to be found...'

They all fell into silence, their thoughts all falling onto their friend.

'I just hate the thought of him suffering alone...' Lily finally spoke, chewing on her lip anxiously and frowning 'it's not right...not today...'

Alina stayed silent contemplating for a moment.

'Where was it that you looked for him?' she asked quietly, still deep in thought.

'Ermm...his flat, the hogs head, leaky cauldron, headquarters, Dorcas' old place, the shrieking shack...he wasn't in any of them...' James sighed, beginning to look frustrated 'I dunno where else he would be...'

_Where would you go if you lost someone you loved?_

Alina didn't reply, just continued to brain storm answers to that question. She had never really loved many people, so it was difficult for her to relate too. But where would she go if she lost Sirius? Or Lily? Or...

_Polly._

She let out a quiet sigh of understanding, her eyes reflecting the overwhelming sadness that had shot through her body like a bullet.

_He's gone to Polly._

'I know where he is' she announced, her voice barely more than a whisper.

She saw them all turn to her questioningly, waiting for her to reveal his whereabouts, but she had apparated from the kitchen before any of them could voice the question.

She wasn't sure if Remus would appreciate her revealing his place of solace, and she wasn't going to disrespect that.

Within a second, she was standing in the old graveyard; located just a mile away from Polly's old house.

She hadn't visited the place since the funeral, knowing that seeing the grave stone, standing above it again, would remind her of the reality that she would never be seeing Polly again.

Slowly she made her way along the cobbled footpath, muttering a charm to protect her from the rain.

She immediately spotted him.

He was the only other person in the Graveyard.

A lone figure, drenched through to the skin with rain, his head bowed with total defeat.

The sight of him broke her heart.

As she closed her eyes, and let her mind briefly brush over him to decide how to approach, she let out a tiny gasp.

He was a mess. A completely broken man.

It wasn't the same as with Polly. It wasn't as deep or as consuming.

Instead it reincarnated the pain from before. It dug at his old wounds, piercing through old scars, and weakened his character.

'Remus?' she called softly, when she was barely feet away from him.

He didn't jump; he just calmly turned to her. His eyes met with hers and oozed out the pain he was feeling, he tried to smile yet after a brief twitch his lips were once again pressed in a line.

Instinctively, she pulled him to her, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and holding him tightly.

'It's going to be all right' she whispered, over and over in his ear, until she was unsure who she was trying to convince with her words.

They stood there silently in the pouring rain, holding each other tightly for another ten minutes before he spoke.

'I'm sorry' he whispered, his words barely reaching her ears.

'Sorry for what?' she asked him, confused.

But he didn't reply, his expression had totally switched off, and he just stood before her, empty.

'Let's get you home' she muttered, keeping her arms wrapped around him tightly before apparating them back to his apartment.

* * *

He stayed the same when she got him home. Void of any emotion. It was as if his mind had finally exceeded its limit for pain and had completely shut him down in some warped form of self preservation.

Working quickly, she led him into his room and laid out some clothes for him to change into, moving into the kitchen and cooking him some food whilst he did so.

'Do you want me to stay with you? Or I could get James or Sirius?' she asked him softly, once he was sitting comfortably on the sofa with his food set out before him.

He shook his head and frowned slightly 'I should be alone'

'You sure?' she asked once more, not feeling comfortable with leaving him.

'Positive...thank you Alli' he nodded softly, speaking in a croaky voice.

'Okay...and remember we're here if you need us. We love you Remus' she told him firmly, before returning back to James and Lily's house.

* * *

Peter apparated a few streets from where he lived. He needed the walk to clear his mind.

A sickening feeling of nausea had settled in his stomach, and he felt a nervous sweat engulf his body.

It was that look she had given him, the look of hatred and disgust that scared him.

_She knows._

But how? She couldn't possibly? She wasn't supposed to be there, she wasn't meant to guess.

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._

Panic set in like a bolt of lightning. His heart began to thud madly in his chest, and his breath quickened.

Forgetting about the need to clear his mind, he pictured his flat and apparated to the doorstep.

As he entered the hallway, he immediately became aware of the eerily silence that had settled throughout his home.

It was as if the entire world had stopped moving and was holding its breath. It was as if time had stood still, and it scared the life out of him.

Slowly he made his way down the hallway, heading towards the only source of light; the kitchen.

He flinched at each thud his boots made on the wooden floorboards; cursing them for the echo they sent shooting around him.

As he reached the door it was as if he had crossed a barrier, and the sound of heavy sobbing suddenly reached his ears; enlightening him of the silencing charm she had cast around the room.

With each sob, his heart rate increased, and fear tightened its grip on his heart, twisting it painfully in its violent fist.

With a loud creak he opened the door, softly calling her name in the calmest voice he could muster.

As he entered the room, her sobbing suddenly ceased and she froze, staring at him, whilst his eyes absorbed the scene before him.

The first thing he saw was her. She was sitting alone at the kitchen table, slightly slumped over a half empty bottle of Firewhiskey. Her eyes rimmed red, and her skin deathly white.

The second thing he saw was the entire contents of the bottom cupboard emptied onto the kitchen floor and with a sudden pang of horror the number twenty-nine hovering in bright red above them.

'I know'

Her voice was husky from drinking and crying, but the coldness of her tone sent chills down his spine.

'W-what?' he spluttered.

'I know it was you Pete. I know everything so don't you dare try to deny it' she spat at him, her words veminous.

'I don't know –'

'Don't. You. Dare!' she hissed, staring at him from her seat at the table, her eyes narrowed with hatred 'How could you? How could you betray everyone like this? Why? Why would you do it?' she asked, her voice growing in volume as she stood up and glared at him.

'I – I just wanted to protect you! I just wanted you to be safe! And you are! They said they wouldn't hurt you if I just –'

'To protect me? ME?' she shouted, her eyes widening with outrage 'you sold out your friends! Innocent people! Because you wanted to protect me! What am I supposed to do Peter? Say thank you? Appreciate it! You killed your friends! _My _friends!-'

Peter made to move towards her, his arms outstretched pleadingly and his eyes filled with desperation.

'Don't you dare come any closer!' she growled angrily, throwing an arm forward, gesturing him to stop 'You went to school with Dorcas...with Benjy! How many more people have you killed! How many more people are dead because of you!' she cried.

'I haven't killed anyone...I've never –'

'Oh so you never raised your own wand! SO WHAT?' she screamed 'who else? Who else have you betrayed! Oh God...' she fell silent for a second, feeling suddenly very sick 'Lily and James' parents?'

He looked at her desperately, before dropping his gaze to the floor.

'Dearborn?' she continued, her voice growing shriller and utter horror plastered on her face 'and at school! That was you too! You led your _friends _to that cave?'

'They weren't meant to rescue her! I didn't know they would go!' Peter interrupted suddenly.

'BUT YOU KNEW THEY WOULD! AND WHAT ABOUT ALINA? DID SHE NOT MATTER TO YOU?'

'El, you were the one who told me not to go against the Dark Lord! You told me that James and Sirius didn't respect me and following them would get me killed eventually!' he looked at her pleadingly, stumbling forward awkwardly, his outstretched hands shaking violently before him.

'I TOLD YOU NOT TO JOIN THE ORDER! NOT TO BECOME A FUCKING DEATHEATER!' she screamed, her face turning a bright red with utter rage.

'Listen! Elyse – please just listen to me!' he begged, his chest beginning to tighten, his eyes wide with terror 'it was to protect you! It was all for you –'

'DON'T YOU DARE! DON'T YOU - DARE – PUT- THAT ON ME! Her voice racked with sobs as the words tore painfully from her throat 'oh God I feel sick!'

Peter moved quickly towards her as she groaned, clutching her chest, but her eyes immediately shot up to glare at him.

'Don't come near me' she hissed, her voice shaking; but he continued to move towards her ignoring her command 'DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!' she screamed, grabbing the firewhisky bottle from the table and hurling it towards his head.

With a reaction that startled him, Peter launched himself sideways, narrowly avoiding the glass bottle, causing it to connect with the wall and smash loudly, shattering all over the floor.

He let out a shaky breath, and turned to try and plead with her once again, only to find her gone from her spot and instead marching quickly towards the living room.

'Where are you going!' he shouted, his voice becoming higher as the panic shot through his veins like an electric current.

'WHERE DO YOU THINK?' she shouted over her shoulder angrily from the other room.

Turning on his heel, he sprinted after her, a thick layer of cold sweat dripping off of his body, causing his clothing to cling to him as he moved.

As he spun through the doorway and into the hallway, he reached out and grabbed Elyse's arm as she lunged quickly for the pot of floo powder on the side.

'GET OFF ME!' she screamed, drawing her wand in seconds 'let go off me!' she demanded through clenched teeth, her voice laced with the hatred that her eyes were shooting at him.

He dropped his hold of her immediately, his throat feeling tight as his breathing became even shorter.

'Please – please don't tell them Elyse...' he begged.

Ignoring his pleas, and throwing him a look of disgust, she grabbed a handful of floo powder and swept towards the fireplace.

'YOU CAN'T TELL THEM!' Peter screamed, tears now escaping his watery eyes as he reached out and grasped the back of her robes once again.

'OR WHAT?' she screamed, spinning around so suddenly that he dropped his hold on her in shock 'WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO STOP ME! WELL?...WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO PETER!'

The room literally shook with the volume of her voice, her eyes were wide with a mixture of anger and growing hysteria and her voice shot through his skin, piercing him like a knife as it destroyed any hope he had been holding that she would remain silent.

'You know what Pete?' her voice suddenly lowered, sending chills down his spine as the venom thickened 'you're just as pathetic as James and Sirius always made you out to be. You're not a man, you're a _pathetic_ _little_ _boy_...you're barely a wizard. In fact you might as well be a squib. You_ disgust_ me.'

She turned on her heel, leaving him standing in shock as she walked away from him. He stood for a second, allowing her words to sink in, the shock quickly evolving into something much more powerful, something so strong that it consumed his entire body like flames devouring oxygen; rage.

'Stop.' He commanded his voice suddenly cold and thick with wrath. She turned slowly, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of his wand directly pointing at her chest, before her mouth twisted into a smirk and she let out a low humourless chuckle.

'So is this what it's come to Pete? I thought you were trying to protect me?' she mocked lightly.

'I WAS! I DID IT ALL FOR YOU!' he yelled, his face twisting into a monstrous expression of sheer anger.

'ARE YOU SURE PETER?' she screamed back 'ARE YOU REALLY SURE? COZ IF THAT'S THE CASE! IF IT WAS ALL FOR MY SAFETY, THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU POINTING YOU'RE WAND AT ME!'

'BECAUSE YOU WON'T LISTEN! WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING LISTEN!' he screeched back, his face turning a dark shade of purple and his veins pulsing from his forehead.

'BECAUSE IT'S LIES! IT'S ALL LIES! YOU'RE A MURDERER! A DEATH EATER! YOU'RE A FUCKING MONSTER!' her face was red with rage and her vision was obscured by tears as she tried to grip her wand with her violently shaking hands.

'CALM DOWN! JUST CALM DOWN!' he shouted at her.

'MAKE ME! GO ON JUST FUCKING DO IT!' she charged towards him, forgetting about her wand and pushing him in his chest, causing him to stumble backwards a few steps.

'THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE? ISN'T IT? A MURDERER? A SCUMMY FUCKING TRAITOR! YOU'RE JUST AS PATHETIC AS JAMES AND SIRIUS ALWAYS SAID! YOU NEVER BELONGED WITH THEM! WITH ANY OF THE-

Her words were cut off as a rage so intense, so mind blowing and all consuming erupted within Peter. His vision was blinded by a flash of red and his mind exploded with utter wrath. With neither a thought nor concern over the consequences of his actions, his lips tingled with power as the words formed on his lips.

'Avada Kedavra.'

* * *

'Elyse?'

His quiet voice seemed to bounce of the walls, making the flat seem cavernous. With legs feeling like lead, Peter took a hesitant step forward, his body shaking so tremendously that he felt like he was having a fit.

'El?' he asked again, this time his voice thick with the tears that were quickly forming.

Very slowly, Peter bent down and extending a trembling arm, reached out to the shoulder of her body, turning her so that her face would come into view.

'No'

His first thought was refusal. A complete and utter refusal to accept what he had done.

But as the glassy eyes continued to stare lifelessly back at him, the emotionless gaze piercing into his own; burning into his mind, the reality hit him.

'Oh God please no' he breathed, sinking to his knees by her still body 'Why wouldn't you listen? Why wouldn't you just listen?' he asked repeatedly, gathering her into his arms as the tears fell freely down his cheeks.

'I'm so sorry' he breathed finally, gently planting a kiss on her still warm lips, before replacing her back onto the floor and standing up again; a look of set determination on his face.

Coldness had set into him. It was as if his mind had taken complete control over his emotions, dictating his own heart's anguish. He looked down at Elyse's lifeless body, and gripped his wand firmly in his hand.

'Expecto Petronum' he said dully, a silver rat erupting from his wand 'get Severus' he told it.

* * *

'Where did you go?' Sirius snapped angrily as she reappeared in the kitchen.

'To get Remus' she replied calmly, refusing to flinch under his angry glare.

'You do _not _just disappear off like that Alli!' he continued through clenched teeth.

'And you do _not _tell me what to do!' she retorted, feeling her own temper quickly flaring up.

'Enough!' Lily interrupted, stepping between their angry glares '_You_ shouldn't have gone off like that Alli! Not after what happened today, anything could of happened to you and we wouldn't have known how to get to you!' she scolded looking angrily at Alina 'and you! She's back safe and sound so there's no need to be all arsey about it' she added as she turned to Sirius.

'Sorry' Alina muttered, and suppressed a grin as she heard Sirius do the same. Biting her lip slightly, her eyes flickered up and immediately caught Sirius' whom she could see was fighting the same urge to laugh.

Whether it be directed to her own baby, or towards her own grown up friends, Lily would always be the mother hen.

'Anyway' Lily carried on, letting out a sigh as her anger left her 'me and James have something we want you to sign whilst it's just the two of you here...we never really got round to doing it at the hospital...what with one thing after another...'

James pulled out two pieces of parchment from the draw and slid them across the table towards bother herself and Sirius.

Intrigued, Alina eagerly grabbed it and immediately began to read, her eyes sparkling as she did so and a warm smile brightening her face.

'Really?' she asked her voice full of awe.

'Really' Lily grinned, her green eyes saying far more than she could ever manage in words.

'It's about time!' Sirius barked, grinning across the table at James 'I thought you didn't trust me or something!'

'We just thought we'd do it officially now, what with everything that's happened...if we were to...well whatever happens, we just want to make sure that Harry will be safe' Lily told them quietly, not voicing the words the all dreaded to even consider.

Nodding gravely, the atmosphere suddenly far more sombre, Alina and Sirius signed the forms, sharing a small smile of happiness as they officially became Harry Potter's Godparents.

* * *

When he apparated into the hallway he was met by the sight of a quivering wreck. Peter's face was chalk white, his eyes eerily glazed over and his entire body shaking severely as he paced backwards and forwards in frenzy.

'S-Severus!' he cried, the despair clear in his tone.

'This better be urgent Wormtail' Severus replied calmly, feeling strangely curious as to what had reduced the man to such a state.

'It is! It is!' Peter exclaimed, his voice growing in pitch and indicating with a shaking hand to the living room.

Giving Peter on final glance, Snape swept into the room to the left, his hand resting tensely on his wand in preparation for any attack that may come.

The action proved needless, for the sight that reached Snape's eyes was the furthest from any situation he had imagined to see. He stopped in his tracks, his black eyes widening slightly in shock as they absorbed the sight of Elyse's lifeless body. For a second he didn't move, allowing the realisation of Peter's actions set into place, before suppressing a dark smirk that threatened to spread through his thin lips.

'My, my, Wormtail...I didn't know you had it in you...' he commented calmly, turning to the terrified man and raising a dark eyebrow.

'P-p-please S-Severus! Help me!' Peter gasped, launching himself forward before Snape's feet and clinging to his jet black robes 'I – I don't know what t-to do...'

'May I ask why you killed her?' Snape drawled casually, as if commenting on the weather.

'S-s-she knew! She guessed...s-she was going t-to tell J-James and the others!' Peter stuttered, clutching Snape's robes tighter and tighter in his podgy fists.

Snape paused for a second before replying, tightening his lips to prevent the smirk from pulling through as he chose his words carefully.

'You have acted in a way that will please the Dark Lord greatly, Wormtail' he spoke quietly, his voice void of any emotion 'and the Dark Lord protects those who do him such a service.'

The shallow breathing caught in Peter's throat, and he gazed up at the man before him, his watery blue eyes gleaming with hope at the words that had just been spoken.

'S-So y-you'll...help...me?' he asked quietly, his words coming out as barely more than a squeak.

'The Dark Lord protects those who serve him well Wormtail, and you have proven yourself tonight. So now you must do what I say and you will remain under his protection...' Snape told him, a feeling of contempt building in his chest as he watched Peter listen hungrily to his words.

'O-Of course Severus!'

'Go back to the Order, back to your...friends' he told him, unable to contain the slight smirk at the final word 'you will act happy, give them some good news...perhaps Elyse may be pregnant...or better, you've just proposed...' he continued, nodding in appreciation of his final suggestion.

'P-Proposed?' Peter asked, his eyes beginning to well with tears once again.

Fighting a growl of annoyance, Snape cast a cheering charm on Peter, watching as the tears immediately disappeared and a cheerful grin spread across his pale face.

'Yes' he replied bluntly 'you've come to give them the news, and Elyse is going to go and tell her sister and invite them over...you will invite your friends over to celebrate, where you will return to find this...' he finished, gesturing to Elyse's body.

'T-thank you so much Severus! T-thank you!' Peter gasped, the broad grin still thick on his face and his fists still clutching Snape's robes.

'You have proven yourself to be a good wizard tonight Wormtail, and the Dark Lord will appreciate your actions, now go' Snape commanded.

Climbing up from the floor clumsily, Peter nodded his head one final time in thanks before apparating from the spot.

As soon as he had gone a disgusted sneer spread across Snape's face, and he glared down at the part of his robes that were now crinkled from Peter's grasp. Crinkling his nose in distaste, his beady eyes quickly flickered to the corpse on the ground before him and the smirk finally escaped onto his lips, twisting his features into a sadistic look of glee.

She had been the only thing standing in the way of him becoming completely the Dark Lords, and now she was gone. Eliminated by the least likely attacker, in his deciding act of betrayal. He was theirs. He belonged to the Dark Lord.

Swiftly, he scanned the downstairs area, moving into the kitchen and quickly clearing up the broken glass of a firewhisky bottle and flicking his wand to send the dozens of glass bottles back to the appropriate cupboard.

Returning to the body one final time, Snape grabbed a pen from the side and transfigured it into a small ring, quickly sliding it onto the cold white finger of the girl before him. He looked once more into the glassy eyes of the familiar Ravenclaw before letting out a low chuckle.

'Morsmorde' he hissed.

And with a crack, he disappeared from the spot.

Leaving a trail of death and destruction behind him.

_**A/N: So...I hope I haven't dissapointed you or depressed you...I realise the last two chapters have been a bit hard hitting so I apologise for that! Let me know what you think...love it? Hate it? You're comments are always taken into account and I appreciate them all!**_

_**A quick thanks to my revieiwers :)**_

_**Spannieren: Thank you :)**_

_**93 : I hope this hasn't angered you lol, she couldn't tell them as much as I wanted her too :(**_

_**Dragonlady0804: Thank you :D**_

_**Arianna13: I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thank you so much for mentioning about the Godfather/Godmother issue! I meant to put it in and completely forgot so i really appreciate that!**_

_**Laura: Thank you!**_

_**BooksEqualGreaterThanLife: Haha i'm trying to update as much as my Uni work is allowing me spare time! I know I LOVE Lily and James too, but unfortunately I have to keep to canon for this story as i'm planning a shortish sequal!**_

_**BonJovi-DefLeppard-Britney-Fan: Thank you :)**_

_**Carlie13: Thank you, I know I hate Peter!**_

_**Bluelibellele13 - haha I'm glad you enjoyed that line!**_

_**Reeba123: I know I do too! But i've always felt that Remus needed to have had something bad happen to him for him to come under suspicion :)**_

_**AkiraTheDarkHuntress: Thank you! I know I felt sorry for him!**_

_**: Haha! I enjoyed your outburst! I hate him too!**_

_**Chemistrygoddess: So...you were spot on! He is so evil! But I don't think he always was, I just think he gradually degraded into it, and now he's finally given into it completely...I hate him!**_

_**If i've forgotten anyone let me know and i'm sorry! Thank you for all your reviews!x**_


	48. LINK TO SEQUEL 'TIMELESS'

**Chapter 48:**

Lily had just put her son to bed when she heard a loud cry of excitement erupt in the kitchen, her eyes quickly flickered down to her son's serene face and she let out a sigh of relief to see that they hadn't woken him.

_Really! What were they thinking being so loud when she'd just got Harry to sleep..._

Frowning she shut Harry's bedroom door, and made her way back into the kitchen her mouth set into a tight line, quite prepared to tell off her husband for allowing such noise.

The lecture she was ready to give, however, never came. Instead she stood, completely astounded in the doorway of her kitchen as her eyes took in the scene before her.

She watched as Alina jumped around, springing through the air letting out loud woops of joy with total abandonment, whilst her husband and Sirius were rolling around in some form of scrum on top of a smaller figure.

'Wormtail?' she cocked an eyebrow in confusion.

'Hi Lily' she heard his muffled reply come from underneath James and Sirius' giant forms.

'Wh-wha...I don't understand?' she questioned to nobody in particular.

'Tell her Peter! Tell her!' Alina grinned, her eyes alight with rare happiness.

Clumsily James and Sirius rolled off of their friend, their faces spread into identical grins, revealing a red in the face Peter.

'I proposed to Elyse' Peter told her quickly, his breathing slightly jagged 'and she said yes!'

Lily felt a warm smile stretch across her lips, replacing the grief that had consumed her all day.

'Oh Peter! That's brilliant!' she told him brightly 'where's Elyse? We have to congratulate her!'

'I left her at home, she told me to I-invite y-you all over!' Peter stumbled over his words breathlessly 'she said you should come celebrate with us!'

'Well why didn't you say so before, Wormy!' James yelled 'we can't leave your fiancé home alone now can we?'

'I'll stay here with Harry, you lot go' Lily told them 'and tell Elyse I'll pop over tomorrow to congratulate her properly'

'Oh yeah, yeah i-I'll tell her Lil' Peter said quietly, making his way towards the hallway.

'Are you sure you don't mind staying, Lil? I'll stay too if you want?' James turned to her, his eyes full of sincerity.

Lily smiled at him and quickly shook her head, she could see how much he wanted to go with his friends even though she knew he would without a doubt stay with her if she asked.

'Don't be silly, he's your best friend...go! Anyway I have a potion I wanted to try out and it would be nice to do so when I have some peace and quiet' she grinned.

James quickly kissed her and shook his head.

'Who would have thought I would have ended up with such a nerd?' he muttered, quickly dodging the slap she aimed at him 'see you later, love.'

Alina followed the boys out into the hallway, trying to ignore the way her head had suddenly began spinning.

She paused for a second as James and Peter apparated away and blinked her eyes tightly, opening them in hope that it would clear her blurred vision.

Frowning she rubbed her eyes, extending one of her arms to grip Sirius for support.

'Alli?' he turned to her in concern 'what's wrong?'

'I- I feel a bit...dizzy' she replied, trying to get her eyes to focus on him and stop the spinning of the room.

'Do you want to stay here?' he asked gently.

'No..no! Don't be silly!' she retorted stubbornly 'maybe just...well I'll side apparate with you okay?'

She could see the uncertainty in Sirius' eyes and she stuck her chin out in determination.

'Al, we've been on a mission today...it's okay if you're tired and just want to rest...'

'I'm fine! Just take me with you all right?'

'Fine' Sirius sighed, pulling her tightly into his arms and apparating them away.

* * *

They were met by the sight of James supporting the shaking form of his friend in his arms, a horrified expression plastered on his face.

It took a second for Alina to steady herself upon landing, it took her a further second to pull herself away from Sirius' grip as he tried to turn her away from whatever James was staring up at, and it took her one second after looking up at the dark mark for Alina to give in to the dizziness and fall into blackness.

She fell too suddenly for him to catch her, and he swore quietly as he watched her slumped form connect with the hard pavement.

Within seconds he had pulled her into his arms and dragged her closer to James and Peter.

'Wormy...' he muttered, trying to get his friend's attention.

His voice was met with an ear splitting cry; Peter turned in James' arms and stared into Sirius' eyes. His pale blue eyes were blood shot, darting wildly as if unable to connect directly with his gaze.

'She...she...I – I can't...I can't see...' he gasped through his sobs 'it's my fault. M-my f-fault...'

'This is NOT your fault Peter!' James told him firmly 'It is NOT.' He repeated, making eye contact with Sirius over Peter's head.

Silently, they conversed through their eyes, not needing words to decide their next movement. Grimly, glancing down at Alina's unconscious form in his arms, Sirius nodded and James extended his wand and turned away.

'Be careful Prongs' he said firmly as James entered the flat.

* * *

When Alina opened her eyes she flinched against the bright light streaming through her bedroom curtains.

'Alli? You all right?' the familiar voice asked gently.

_Sirius._

'Yeah...what happened?' she asked, trying to sit up only to be pushed back into lying position.

'You...don't remember?' Sirius asked quietly, his voice laced with sadness.

And it all came flooding back.

The dizziness, James' face, the Dark Mark.

'Elyse?' she questioned, her voice strangely calm, contradicting the bubble of horror expanding within her.

'The Death Eater's got her...Avada Kedavra...no signs of torture' he finished lamely, knowing it wouldn't soothe her.

'Oh God' she breathed, her mind barely able to register the news 'I can't believe she's...' her voice trailed off.

She was numb.

That's how it felt. The more horror and the more deaths that were happening, the more numb each one made her feel.

She couldn't even cry. Her eyes were bone dry, almost too dry. All she could see was Elyse's face repeating over and over in her mind's eye.

'Peter...' as her lips formed the words she saw Sirius flinch 'how is he?'

'Not...good' Sirius replied 'he's how you'd expect.'

Alina nodded, biting her lip gently as her mind trailed away in thought.

'It looked like she was trying to escape' Sirius continued 'She...she had floo powder right by her...'

Alina closed her eyes, as if hoping it would close her mind from the image. The image of a terrified Elyse, not even a real member of the Order, desperately trying to flee her worst nightmare, only minutes after becoming engaged.

It was sickening. The thought literally made her stomach churn. She felt the bile rise in her throat and then with a realisation of panic she sat up and vomited onto the floor.

* * *

'How are you feeling?' Lily asked, entering the room and taking a seat by her bed.

'Rough' Alina mumbled, clenching onto the sick bowl in her hands.

'Maybe it's a twenty-four hour thing?'

'I don't really care to be honest, I'm better off than Peter...or Elyse' she grumbled, staring out of the window at the blue sky.

She felt Lily take her hand gently and squeeze it.

'I don't know what I'd do without you Alli...' she began.

'Don't you dare do that Lily!' Alina interrupted her.

'Do what?' Lily asked in surprise.

'Say your goodbyes just in case we die. Nothing's going to happen, we're going to be fine. So let's not act like we'll be dead tomorrow okay?'

Lily paused for a moment, her emerald eyes sparkling with unshed tears and she nodded softly.

* * *

One week later, Alina made her way downstairs for the first full Order meeting since the deaths of Elyse and Dorcas.

The mood in the room was immediately sombre, and Alina quietly took her seat beside Sirius, squeezing Peter's shoulder tightly as she passed him.

'How are you feeling?' Sirius asked her quietly.

'I feel absolutely fine today' she replied, feeling relieved 'it's nice to feel normal!'

Sirius opened his mouth to reply but shut it quickly as Dumbledore swept into the room, standing before them with an expression that caused Alina to tighten her grip on his hand in alarm.

She felt it as soon as he entered, he had news. Bad news. Alina met with his gaze, and she felt her throat tighten. She couldn't place what emotion it was, perhaps it wasn't just one, but it terrified her.

'Before we start with official business, I do not need to tell you all that two very important lives were lost last week. Dorcas and Elyse were both friends and loved ones to us all. They were incredibly brave women who brought happiness to everyone that knew them. Their lives were cut short, and they will be missed by us all. Their deaths will not be in vain, and we will continue to fight in their name until Voldemort is defeated.'

'The first matter I must refer to is one of crucial importance. It is one that many have suspected for a long time, but it cannot be denied any further. There is a spy in the Order.'

The room exploded with cries of outrage, whispers and suspicious glances, but it was one emotion that sprung out more than any of the others that hit Alina like a punch in the face.

Panic.

From the right side of the room. She felt it fly at her from there.

Her eyes scanned the faces to her right. The faces of her friends; of her comrades.

She looked at Mad-Eyes expression of fury and disgust, she saw Franks concern, Peter's despair and Remus' frown.

She gently reached out to them all with her mind, hoping to feel that same feeling of panic but was disappointed.

Looking at them all one more time, she sighed quietly; she'd get to the bottom of this.

As the room quietened and the attention turned back to Dumbledore, Alina didn't catch the glance that Peter threw towards her.

She didn't see the realisation enter his watery eyes and the fear that followed.

When the meeting closed, they all stood to exit the room.

'Before you go, I'd like to ask James, Lily, Alice and Frank to stay for a few more minutes' Dumbledore requested.

Glancing at each other in confusion, Sirius took Alina's hand and shrugged indicating that he was as unaware as she was as to what Dumbledore wished to say to their friends.

* * *

When the room was empty, and the door was closed, Dumbledore turned to the four remaining members in the room.

His expression was grim sadness, and he let out a deep sigh as he met each of their gazes.

'I asked you to stay because I need to speak to you all about a Prophecy that has recently been made to me...a prophecy that concerns Harry and Neville.'

**A/N: This chapter was written about 2 months ago, and I havent been able to upload it because every time i tried to edit my story it came us as an error, and it's only just allowed me to access my account! So i'm going to start writing more now!**

**Thank you to all my reviewers I appreciate you all so much! I'll try and respond to you all in the next chapter as i'm going to attempt to get that up quickly as an apology!x**


	49. Chapter 52

**Chapter 49:**

The room screamed with silence. It pierced Alina's ears, and shot painfully through her veins. She could feel the fear and anger that belonged to Sirius bubbling in her stomach, erupting like lava within her.

It couldn't be true.

This could not be happening.

Not her friends. Not this.

He would be after them; there was no doubt about that. He would hunt them down forever, all of them.

_No,no,no,no,no,no,no_

It didn't matter whether she spoke the words, or willed them with her mind, it wouldn't change anything.

'Dumbledore will be our secret keeper' Frank told the small group solemnly.

'And we'd like you to be ours, Sirius' James continued, looking gravely at his best friend.

Alina felt and overwhelming dose of loyalty that didn't belong to her jet through her and she clasped Sirius's hand tightly with support.

'Of course' he replied 'I will die before they find you' he added earnestly, exchanging a look with James that was worth a million words.

'I know you would' James nodded, tightening his hold on Lily.

Remus sat in silence and watched as events took fold infront of him.

He wouldn't believe it.

He couldn't believe it.

It was as if this curse was going to plague him forever.

How many more would it take? How many more of his loved ones were to be lost or threatened to be lost?

He took in the brave faces of his friends and felt fear clench at his chest.

He needed to get some air, to get out of this house.

Standing up abruptly he mumbled something about being ill, for once thankful that his monthly condition allowed him to escape without question.

He needed to think.

He needed her.

And within a second he was there.

In the graveyard, and completely alone.

* * *

'THE PROBLEM IS IS THAT SOMEONE WE ALL TRUST HAS BEEN BETRAYING US!' James' shout echoed through the kitchen at Headquarters, causing Lily to flinch visibly, and Harry to start to cry.

'James calm down' Alina told him, her eyes following him as he paced across the room.

'CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN –' he started but she quickly interrupted.

'-yes calm down! How is shouting going to help us to figure this out?' she demanded, her eyes flashing.

It had been two hours since she had been told of the prophecy and it was taking every bit of strength that she possessed not to lose control. She wanted to shout, cry, blast something to pieces with her wand; anything to release the explosion of emotions that had erupted within her.

'How can we figure this out Alli?' Alice asked quietly from the corner, her voice drained from its usual optimism 'it could be anyone, nobody would know any better...'

Alina opened her mouth to reply but Sirius quickly beat her.

'None of us would do it! No one here would ever betray each other, ever!' he stated through clenched teeth, sending a piercing gaze around the room as if daring anyone to disagree.

Nobody did, Alina knew as well as Sirius that nobody present would ever even consider accusing each other. They would never even dream that such a betrayal could be made.

And that was the problem.

_Nobody is suspicious._

She sat back quietly, her eyes scanning the anxious faces in the room trying to determine the thoughts of her friends.

She saw anger on James, fear on Lily and Alice and distress on Frank.

She saw desperation on Sirius, she felt his despair running through her own veins connecting them with the familiar bond.

She paused on Peter, her sharp eyes catching something out of place on his expression.

She saw him frown, as if pondering an unpleasant thought. She saw uncertainty and fear causing his lips to tremble slightly.

'Peter?' she asked quietly, watching as his watery eyes shot guiltily up at her.

'Huh? W-what?' he asked.

His thoughts were all over the place, practically spilling from his mind, she didn't need to dig far as she projected her mind forward reaching for the thought he was caught up on.

_Moony._

The nickname was thick and clear in her mind. It chimed through her ears like alarm bells and she froze rigid in her seat.

'What?' she demanded, ignoring the looks of confusion she was being sent from her friends.

'Alli?' Sirius asked.

'Peter!' she demanded, pacing across the room so that she was directly in front of him. He squirmed as she stared deep into his eyes 'you think Remus –'

'No...no I never said that!' he gasped, before James cut in.

'-Moony would never betray us!' he cried angrily, his face reddening with anger.

'Why do you think he has Peter?' Alina continued, ignoring James' outburst.

'I – I didn't –'

'DON'T LIE!' Alina yelled, causing everyone to jump in surprise ' I saw it in your mind! Now either tell me, or I'll force it out of you!' she snarled, her blood beginning to boil.

_I won't allow him to cower away from this. Not when Lily's life is on the line._

'A-all right!' Peter stuttered 'w-we've all said he's acted w-weird since Polly...and we know t-that You-Know-Who's recruiting Werewolves...'

'How could you even think this' Sirius spat, his face contorted with fury.

'Sirius, shh, let him talk' Alina muttered, resting her hand on Sirius' arm to quieten him.

'H-he's been late to meetings...and the night Benjy died h-he turned up late! He turned up l-late on the night y-your parent's...' he turned to Lily and James, his face chalk white 'and h-he could easily have lured D-Dorcas out of Headquaters...'

Peter's voice trailed off and the room was left in silence. Alina felt a familiar wave of nausea hit her stomach, and covering her mouth she sprinted to the sink and proceeded to empty her stomach of its contents. She felt Sirius' trembling hands rubbing her back, and she heard a quiet sob emit from Lily's throat.

'Oh God, no' Alice whispered.

'All I know is he was alone when E-Elyse was killed. A-and if he was responsible...' Peter didn't finish his sentence, instead his eyes darkened and his lips tightened into rage.

'It can't be him' James announced, shaking his head as if trying to convince himself of the words.

'Look...maybe it's not him' Frank reasoned 'but even so, we should be careful about what information we give to him.'

After a seconds silence, the room was sounded with murmers of agreement.

* * *

Her heart was pounding. She could hear it thumping in her ears like a drum.

She rested a shaking hand on the side to support herself as her knees felt as if they were about to buckle.

'Alli? You all right?'

'Y-Yes' she managed to gasp, the sudden dryness of her throat making it difficult for her to speak.

She felt an unusual warmth in her eyes and let out a shaky laugh at the feeling of dampness on her cheeks.

'Alli?' Lily called again from outside the door, her voice raising and sounding concerned.

'C-Come in Lily' Alina managed to choke out.

As the door knob turned, Alina turned to look at Lily who immediately sucked in a sharp breath of shock.

'Alli? What's wrong? Are you sick again?' she gushed, quickly moving to help support her up.

She wasn't sure if it was the unnecessary concern in Lily's voice or the shock that brought it on, but suddenly her tears were replaced with hysterical giggles, and she found herself gasping for breath.

'Alli?' Lily asked in panic, the laughter apparently far more concerning than the previous tears 'w-what's wrong with you?'

'Oh, God Lily, nothing's wrong! Nothing's wrong...' Alina managed to choke out, indicating with her head to her wand which was lying beside the sink.

Lily's eyes suddenly widened and she looked back and forward from Alina to the wand that's tip was glowing a bright blue.

'No...' she whispered.

'I haven't been ill Lily, it's been morning sickness' Alina grinned.

* * *

'You're seriously going to leave me stuck here tonight?' James grumbled, as he played exploding snap with Sirius in the living room.

'Stuck here? You mean enjoying the company of your lovely wife and son before you're not allowed to visit me at all?' Sirius asked, grinning as Harry smashed yet another vase with the toy broomstick he had bought him.

'You know I don't mean that Padfoot, but it's going to be so frustrating being completely stuck in that house all the time.! I can't even sneak out coz Dumbledore's still got the bloody cloak' he moaned, running his hands through his already messy hair.

'Well I'll grace you with my presence another night, mate. Tonight's important.' Sirius replied, flashing a smug grin at his friend.

'Important? Do tell...' James replied, his ears immediately picking up on the tone of his best friends words.

'Well...' Sirius began, fumbling for something in his pocket and clasping it in his fist 'how do you feel about being best man?' he asked innocently, opening his palm to reveal a small velvet box.

'Oh Padfoot I thought you'd never ask! Of course I will! I can't believe it's taken you this long to propose to me!' James yelled, a broad grin spread across his face.

'Oh shutup you prat' Sirius chuckled 'no seriously shutup, they're only upstairs and I don't want her to find out coz you can't keep your voice down' he added.

'Don't worry, my mouths shut' James grinned, his eyes flashing with excitement 'I never really thought I'd see the day; Sirius Black settling down for good.'

'Yeah, well just coz we weren't all whipped since first year mate-'

'I wasn't whipped!' James argued, laughing.

'Prongs, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about' Sirius continued, his voice now anxious and his expression completely sober.

'What?' James asked, frowning.

'The other day, when we were speaking about me becoming your secret keeper...'

'Yeah?'

'Remus was there...if...if he is the spy...well Voldemort will know I'm the secret keeper and he'll come after me...and if he kills me, I've told Remus the address...he'll be able to get in...'

James' face paled dramatically and he stared into his best friends eyes.

'What's your plan?' he asked.

'Well...'

* * *

Alina sat in front of Lily's vanity mirror finishing her final touches of makeup.

'He's going to be so happy when you tell him' Lily grinned 'It's going to kill me not to just tell him myself as soon as we see him!'

'Don't you dare!' Alina laughed 'I'll tell him when we go to dinner, so he'll know all in an hour'

'ALLI, HURRY UP!'

Sirius' impatient yell came from the kitchen, and Alina rolled her eyes as Lily laughed.

'WE'RE NOT LEAVING FOR HALF AN HOUR!' Alina yelled back.

'God you've got a pair of lungs on you' Lily grumbled, rubbing her ears in complaint.

'WE NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU BOTH BEFORE WE LEAVE ALLI!'

Letting out an over dramatic sigh, Alina grabbed her bag from the side and followed Lily down the stairs to the living room.

'What?' she demanded as she entered, her hands on her hips and eyebrows raised .

'Oh hello Wormy, I didn't realise you were here' Lily added, throwing a questioning glance at James.

Alina took in there sombre expressions and immediately frowned.

'What's wrong?' she asked, her eyes darting between each boy.

'Nothing!' James replied too quickly.

'James?' Lily demanded.

'Look, me and Sirius were talking...about Remus...'

'Yeah...' Lily continued, sounding nervous 'I mean, you don't really think he's the spy?'

'We don't know Lil, he has been acting strangely...' James sighed, running his hands through his hair 'and we can't afford to not be careful'

'So what's this got to do with anything?' Alina asked, completely confused and glancing at Peter who shifted in his seat suddenly.

'Remus was here when I was made Secret-Keeper...Alli, I'm the most obvious person to go after, Voldemort will find them in no time. If he kills me, Remus will become Secret-Keeper too...'

A cold wave of dread swept through Alina as the truth of his words washed through her, and she cursed herself for not thinking of it sooner.

'S-So what do we do?' Lily asked, her voice quivering slightly.

'I was thinking that Wormy should take my place' Sirius replied.

Lily's eyebrows shot up and she spoke before she could think.

'Peter?' she asked incredulously.

'They wouldn't suspect it!' Sirius argued.

'But...but...' Lily continued, looking at James as if to determine whether they were joking.

It was another shift in his movement that alerted Alina once again to Peter.

It was in one split second that she caught the look in his eyes, the darkness in his pupils and the feelings that shot from his mind.

The only way to describe it was a mixture of desperation, impatience and contempt.

It sent an uncomfortable chill up her spine and caused bile to rise in her throat.

She watched as Peter glanced up at the clock on the wall and suddenly jumped to his feet, his eyes darting towards the kitchen door.

'Erm...I'm just going to go through to the kitchen...so you can talk about it in private?' he stumbled over his words and made his way clumsily to the kitchen.

'Okay Wormy, we won't be a minute' Sirius replied.

James continued speaking, explaining to Lily the positive points of making Peter their Secret-Keeper, when the discomfort Alina was feeling became too much.

'I'm just going to go and speak with Peter' she interrupted 'I won't be a moment.'

'What? Why?' Sirius asked in surprise.

'Well I want to make sure he knows what he's getting himself into' she replied calmly 'he may agree to do it for you, but I'll be able to see if he's really all right with it. He shouldn't do it unless he's positive' she lied easily.

She flashed a grin at Sirius and made her way through the kitchen door, closing it quickly behind her and causing Peter's huddled frame to jump in alarm.

'We need to talk Peter' she stated coldly.

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews i'll try and respond to you as soon as I can I'm just concentrating on getting the next couple of chapters up! Sadly we're nearing the end now! But I can tell you for definate that there will be a sequal :)**

**Please review they really inspire me to write more!**


	50. Chapter 53

**Chapter 50:**

She didn't give him a chance to reply, instead she threw forward her mind with all the strength she could muster, sending him flying backwards and directly into the wall.

Within a second images were forming before her eyes, conversations and secret thoughts were flickering through her mind wildly.

She shuddered as Elyse's appeared, standing before her fireplace, her face contorted with anger and tears.

_**'THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE? ISN'T IT? A MURDERER? A SCUMMY FUCKING TRAITOR! YOU'RE JUST AS PATHETIC AS JAMES AND SIRIUS ALWAYS SAID! YOU NEVER BELONGED WITH THEM! WITH ANY OF THE-**_

_**'Avada Kedavra.'**_

_**'Elyse?'**_

She felt her stomach lurch as the familiar settings of Dorcas' now empty room entered her mind.

_**He moved silently and quickly, trying to contain his raspy breath and to calm his thumping heart. He glanced once more at the doorway, before taking the small glass bottle from his pocket and the note that his master had so perfectly forged, and putting them beside each other on her dressing table.**_

_**With a relived smirk his eyes absorbed the setting before him, before he hurried out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.**_

Horror seeped through her veins as she watched Peter apparating away from the Order meeting, and she shook her head in disbelief as realisation hit her as to where he had gone too.

_**From a distance, to the unknowing eye, the farmhouse looked alight with life. The warm glow of the windows lit up the side of the house, highlighting the jolly green ivy that gave the house the picturesque outlook of a Christmas card. But Peter wasn't an unknowing eye, he knew what horrors the house held, and yet he continued to return.**_

She could feel the rage rumbling in the pit of her stomach and her hands curled into tight fists as she watched Peter hurry into the bathroom after Snape.

_**'If you don't give me information now, the Dark Lord will forget our little 'deal.'' He threatened **_

_**' the first thing we will do is go after that little girlfriend of yours...' he paused to smirk at the look of horror on Peter's face 'and then we will come for you' **_

_**'I-I don't know what to –' Peter froze and his face suddenly lit up 'You-Know-Who holds a grudge over James and Lily right?' he asked suddenly, and was oblivious to Snape's flinch at Lily's name.**_

_**'Yes, he doesn't favour those who defy him' he replied coldly 'and they've done so on more than one occasion'**_

_**'Well James' parents are going to be in London tonight! He's really close to them and – and'**_

_**'Where will they be?' Snape asked blandly.**_

_**'T-the Hard Rock Cafe' Peter replied, and sighed in relief as he was let free from his position up against the wall.**_

Vaguely, she heard Peter let out a whimper of pain as her fists tightened, her nails digging into her skin as she watched him tell Snape of the plan to rescue the Muggles from the cottage; the night Sirius had nearly died and the night Benjy had.

_**'I have i-information...b-but I'm only going to give it to you if you meet my conditions!' Peter's voice squeaked to the verge of breaking point, and his blood ran cold as he waited for the Death Eater's response.**_

_**'And your conditions are?' the voice responded, a clear hint of amusement in his words.**_

_**'T-that you leave Elyse completely out of this!' Peter gushed quickly, attempting to stand strong, but due to his lack of height, failing miserably.**_

She gasped out loud with realisation as her memories cast back to helping Peter choose a gift for Elyse on that fateful trip to Hogsmeade, and she trembled with anger as she watched his memories flash before her eyes.

_**'You can go' Snape told them quietly once they had exited the cave.**_

_**'Wh- what?' Peter spluttered in confusion.**_

_**'Like we said **__**Wormtail **__**the Dark Lord looks after those who are loyal to him, you have done him a good service today...he looks forward to your compliance in the future. You and Elyse are free to go'**_

_**And without a glance back Snape left them, heading back down the hill to cast the Caterwauling Charm, and then to head back to his Lord.**_

She paused for a second as her vision cleared, utterly horrified by what she had witnessed. She had known, the moment she had seen his face as she entered the Kitchen, that he was guilty, but seeing it for herself, having it confirmed beyond any reasonable doubt left her dumbfounded. For all the years they had been friends, after everything he had shared with the Marauders, all the pranks and the jokes, how could it have come to this?

_How could he do this to us?_

It was in that split second of mental torment, that she let her defences allowing Peter to slide down to the floor, able to finally move again. She blinked quickly as his sudden movement jerked her away from her thoughts and she let out a startled cry

'STOP!' she shouted.

But it was too late, his robe had already been pushed up, and his finger had already pressed firmly onto the dark mark that had been seared into his skin.

* * *

Several loud cracks followed her shout, and she clenched her teeth and curled her fists in determination as the cloaked figures appeared before her.

She didn't bother reaching for her wand, she knew that she had no time. Instead she threw her arms outwards, allowing the rage that had consumed her to finally release. Letting out a strangled cry she pictured the faces of those she had lost, those who had been taken from her as a direct result of someone who she had considered a friend. She let out a slightly hysterical laugh as the figures before her flew backwards, crashing into furniture and letting out shocked cries of pain as they landed heavily.

'ALLI?' she heard Sirius' shout, and the sound of scraping chairs as the others jumped up at the sound of the commotion.

She felt a slight wave of relief at this knowledge, knowing that now the initial strength of her emotions had left her, she had no chance against the group before her.

As she reached into her robe to quickly pull out her wand, a familiar silky voice met her ears from behind her, and her blood froze in panic.

'Petrificus Totallus'

She felt her entire body go rigid, and her heart thudded against her ribcage as she attempted, without success, to jerk herself out of the hex.

'Hello again, Alina' his cold voice hissed from her left, so close that she could feel his warm breath on her cheek.

Horror shot through her mind, as his strong hands gripped her arms painfully, and her eyes shot to the doorway of the kitchen just as the door was blasted open.

In the split second that her terrified blue eyes met those familiar stormy grey ones, the room disappeared before her with a loud crack, as Severus Snape apparated her away.

* * *

'ALINA!' he yelled, watching as she disappeared from the room in the grasp of a Death Eater. Fears fingers clawed at his heart, tearing and ripping against it until the pain was almost impossible to cope with.

His breath was harsh with panic, yet he knew there was nothing he could do for the time being. His eyes scanned the room, and he quickly dived to the side, narrowly avoiding a green jet of light that had been shot directly at him.

Instinctively he shot a curse at the nearest Death Eater, turning to see where the next one was.

'WE'VE GOT HER, LET'S GO!' the high pitched shout of a masked woman sounded.

Sirius let out a yell of anger, sending a stunner straight for the figure, but he was a split second too late as the figure apparated away, followed by the rest of her comrades.

'No' he whispered, his voice hoarse and barely audible 'no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO!' he yelled, red sparks of light shooting from his wand.

'WHAT HAPPENED?' he yelled, turning to Peter, his wand clenched in his fist and pointing directly at his friend 'WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP THEM!'

'I-I t-tried' Peter stuttered, eyeing Sirius' wand warily.

'Padfoot' James' voice sounded, and Sirius felt his friend's firm grip rest on his shoulder 'it's not Wormy's fault.'

'THEN WHOSE IS IT?' Sirius bellowed, turning sharply to glare at his friend.

His heart was racing, pounding against his chest as if trying to batter its way out of him. His stomach felt as if it were contorted and twisted into knots making him feel as if he was going to vomit up everything inside of him, and his entire body felt as if it were being attacked by Devil's Snare; as if it was suffocating him, crushing him and dragging him down as if drowning him in its grasp.

His anger subsided, and his face dropped from rage to utter helplessness.

'What do I do Prongs?' he asked softly, his voice breaking as he sunk to his knees on the floor.

* * *

'Crucio' he hissed.

Alina felt her body jerk and twist erratically, her throat burning and tearing as she screeched in agony as the curse tore through her body.

As the spell subsided, and the pain disappeared, she knew what was coming next.

Warily she pushed up the barriers of her mind, ignoring the feeling of nausea hitting her stomach.

'Legilimans' he spat, the smirk in his voice apparent.

She could feel the pressure on her mind, but she was relieved to know that the connection between her and Sirius was helping to protect her. The piercing pain she was waiting for to erupt inside her head did not come, instead a steady ache replaced it.

Sweat poured down her head, and as the pressure disappeared another wave of nausea hit her and she proceeded to vomit, heaving up the contents of her stomach onto her chest and the floor before her.

She didn't know where she was, the room was dark and windowless scented with the odour of dust and damp. She was chained to the wall, but after relentless torture had sunken to the floor, her knees no longer able to support her.

As she looked up at the man before her, hatred like no other grew within her; subconsciously she placed a hand over her stomach a mixture of worry and protectiveness rushing through her as she watched him raise his wand once again.

'Cruc-'

Before he could finish the curse, she attacked his mind, forcing herself into his brain with all the strength she could muster. She needed to know where she was; she needed to know what they wanted and why she was here.

_I need to get out of here._

He clearly had not been expecting her attack, yet his mind took more effort to enter than anyone else she had attempted.

She firstly saw the image of a regal mansion, its entrance blocked with colossal black gates with a familiar emblem sculpted onto them.

_**The De'Valle Mansion.**_

_So that's where I am._

She then watched the scene change, and found herself in another memory.

_**Snape entered the room, it was dim; the only light emitted by the fire flickering hungrily in the fireplace. He glanced warily at the giant snake that hissed menacingly before the armchair that held his master.**_

'_**My Lord' he greeted, bowing low before the man in front of him.**_

'_**You have news Severus?' his cold voice asked.**_

'_**Yes, My Lord. I have news of a prophecy. I heard it being given to Dumbledore, My Lord.'**_

'_**A prophecy?' he hissed, his red eyes narrowing.**_

'_**Yes, it concerns you My Lord...' Snape replied smoothly.**_

'_**What did it say, Severus?' he asked impatiently.**_

'ENOUGH!'

Snape's shout broke her from her examination of her mind, and she found herself glaring directly back up at him. She was trembling, the effort of her attack had placed more strain on her than she had expected.

'_You _told him' she spat, looking coldly up at him 'he's going after Lily thanks to you!'

For a second she thought he was going to reply, his glare faltered and his dark eyes softened with what appeared to be sadness, but almost in the instant it came the look went.

'CRUCIO!' he yelled.

And everything disappeared, apart from the pain.

* * *

'Now concentrate Sirius' Dumbledore commanded softly 'keep breathing deeply, picture her face, her scent, anything you can think of.'

'Okay' he replied softly.

He pictured her blue eyes; sparkling at him with love, flashing at him with anger and finally staring at him with that final moment of terror.

He pictured her hair; golden and shining as it was caught by the sunshine and knotted and matted with sweat as they made love.

He could hear her voice; animated with laughter and amusement as she told him a funny story, strong and full of determination and soft and vulnerable when she was upset.

'Now, try and sense her. Part of her is within you, you have part of her soul, try and use that image of her to guide you.' Dumbledore told him.

He pushed every image of her outwards, trying to project it around his body, around the room or the universe.

Nothing happened.

'It's not _working!' _he growled angrily.

'Do you feel anything different?' Dumbledore asked calmly.

'No! I've just got a really bad headache, and I feel sick' he grumbled, slamming his fist down on the table.

'And that is most likely because that is what Alina is feeling most strongly at this moment' Dumbledore replied.

'Really?' Sirius asked desperately.

Dumbledore nodded, thoughtfully.

'But that doesn't help us find her does it' Sirius groaned.

'Not right now it doesn't' Dumbledore agreed 'but there may be a time where she is trying to reach out to you, and that will be when you will connect the strongest. For now, we may have to wait until she has that opportunity.'

'And what if that opportunity doesn't come?' Sirius asked, voicing out loud the question that terrified him the most.

A knock on the door interrupted them and they both turned to see who it was, leaving the question unanswered.

'It's me' Lily's voice sounded as she entered, her eyes rimed red and her face a deathly pale 'I have something to tell you' she continued, glancing at Sirius, her voice barely more than a whisper.

'What?' he ask, another wave of panic hitting him at the tortured expression on Lily's face

'I...I..' she stuttered.

'What is it?' he demanded again when she faltered.

'Oh God Sirius' she choked, her voice racked with sobs 'she – she didn't get to tell you...and...And...Oh God...'

'Lily, what is it?' Sirius crossed the room to stand before her, grasping both of her arms and forcing her to look up at him 'Lily tell me!'

'She...she's pregnant..' Lily managed to force out, dissolving into fresh tears.

Sirius felt as if he had been ripped away from his body. He felt as if he were floating in some weird out of body experience.

_Pregnant._

The word seemed so insignificant in comparison to the meaning that it held for him.

It was everything to him; his world wrapped into one.

It described the combination of the two most important things in his life.

'Alli' he whispered, as his knees gave way beneath him.

* * *

'Sirius?' she whispered, raising her head which had been lulled into her chest.

For a second she had felt his presence, she had felt him deep inside of her.

But he had gone almost as soon as he had come, taking away the brief moment of comfort she felt at the sense of him.

'Sirius Black isn't here to save you' Snape spat with contempt 'but we do have a guest'

Alina heard the heavy footsteps of a male coming down the staircase, and she immediately tensed. Carefully, she projected her mind, tentively inspecting the mind-frame of the new addition.

He was young; that much she could sense almost immediately. And he wasn't very strong.

Part of her wanted to chuckle at this, but she forced her expression to remain unreadable. She knew they didn't want to kill her; her skills were too valuable for that. They wanted to break her, to control her.

But if they thought she was going to go down without a fight, they were very much mistaken.

'Hello Alina' the familiar drawl sent a shudder down her spine.

'Hello Marcus' she smiled sarcastically, shooting a death glare at him.

He chuckled arrogantly as his eyes roamed over her, pausing greedily on her breasts. Slowly, like a lion closing in on its prey, he stalked towards her, a hungry expression plastered on his face. When he reached her he crouched down, so he was only inches away from her and smirked as he lifted his wand, pointing at her breasts and causing the fabric to tear away, falling down to expose her chest.

As the cold air of the room hit her making her feel utterly exposed and humiliated, a flash of her father's face leering at her, just as Marcus was, shot before her eyes and anger flooded through her.

Without a thought to any powers or magic, she snarled up at him and spat straight into his arrogant face.

'CRUCIO!' he yelled, his face bright red and contorted with anger and disgust.

The pain shot through her, blinding her and deafening her to anything else. She twisted and jolted, but nothing helped her to escape the sheer agony of the curse that pulsed through her veins.

She would die soon.

Surely the pain would be enough to kill her.

How could she survive the curse any longer?

How much longer could her child survive the curse?

It was the thought of her child that suddenly made everything become startlingly clear.

'STOP IT!' she screamed, with only the thought of her child in her mind.

The pain stopped immediately, and a loud cry brought her back to reality, as Marcus fell to the floor writhing in agony.

'What did you do?' Snape snapped at her, turning to the Death Eater beside him.

It was a further minute before Marcus stopped yelling and sat up from his position on the floor.

'You _bitch'_ he hissed.

Alina just smirked in response.

* * *

Peter hurried up the creaking staircase, his breath rash and a layer of sweat forming on his brow.

He chuckled almost manically at the terrified expression on Alina's face as she had been caught by Snape.

_Serves her right for attacking me._

He no longer felt the fear of being caught by his friends; what friends were they to turn on him so quickly.

Anger flared up in his chest at the cold way Alina had addressed him when she had entered the kitchen, and he let out a deep grunt of rage as his mind flickered back to how Sirius had turned on him so quickly and readily to blame him for Alina's disappearance.

He didn't need them.

All he needed was his Master. His Master who would protect him from them; for they were no match to him.

They would regret every time they had made him feel insignificant, every time they had laughed at his expense and mocked his intelligence. For when it came down to it, he had outsmarted them all.

Wrapped up in his self absorbed thoughts, Peter didn't once consider all of the times Remus had patiently sat beside him in the common room, helping him with his homework. He didn't think about the dozens of Slytherins Sirius had hexed when he heard them mock his small friend and he didn't remember how James had invited him to join their group, when he had been alone and friendless in first year.

All he saw was the power of his Master, and his need to be on the winning team.

As he knocked on the heavy wooden doors, and the sound of hissing from within the room met his ears, he no longer felt the old repulsion; instead he felt excitement at the reward he would receive for bringing the news he had.

'Enter' he cold voice hissed, in a tone that was barely human.

With shaking hands, Peter opened the door, bowing lowly as he entered and stood before the Dark Lord.

'What is it, Wormtail?' Voldemort demanded, his eyes narrowing in disgust at the shaking man before him.

'My Lord, I bring y-you b-brilliant news! I have been made secret keeper of the Potters!' he gasped out, raising his face to look up into his Master's.

He watched with glee as his Lord's red eyes widened, and head threw back into a high pitched cackle.

'Excellent!' Voldemort laughed, his sharp teeth glinting under the light of the fire 'You shall be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams Wormtail. Where are they?'

'Godrics Hollow, My Lord! Thank you, Master!'

**A/N: Sorry for how long it's taken me to update, I've got exams this month and I have done little to no revision so am slightly panicking. This will be my last update until the end of this month as I have to learn a years worth of Law (fun fun fun) by the 26th. And just so you know, the wait should hopefully be worth it because it will be my last chapter of this story next chapter! I am doing a sequal though, so as you are being forced to wait, I will get the first chapter up of the sequal at the same time. The sequal won't be as long as this story, but i'm really looking forward to writing it! My imagination has run waaay to far ahead already! Thank you for all of your reviews, next chapter I will give all of you aa special mention!**

**Thank you so much!**


	51. Chapter 54

**Chapter 51:**

The minutes, hours, days that she had been kept in captivity had soon blended into one, making it very difficult for Alina to appreciate any sense of time or how long she had been trapped for.

She didn't know whether it was day or night, and usually settled on sleeping whenever she had a moment alone; without the presence of any Death Eater who wished to torture her.

Sometimes they used curses, ironically a few even resorted to muggle techniques and weapons, however the most infuriating variety were the ones who tried to _persuade _her. The ones who thought bribery and promises of safety would sway her to join them; as if they thought she was like _Peter._

She let out an angry growl of frustration, and sat up suddenly; just the thought of his name infuriated her. Clenching her fists, she focused on the magical chains that bound her, grinding her teeth as she tried to project her mind towards them, attempting to loosen them, or break them, anything to free her.

Letting out a scream of frustration she threw herself back against the wall and allowed her body to slope down to the floor.

If she didn't get out of here He would find Lily and James...and if that happened...

She shuddered, forcing her train of thought to stop in its tracks and not complete the ominous thought.

But the threat was still there, its inevitability hanging over her like a personal Dark Mark only she could see.

The far too familiar sound of the floor boards creaking above her signalled the approaching Death Eater and Alina's hands immediately flew to her stomach protectively.

They could do what they wanted, but this child.

_Our Child._

Will be safe.

* * *

Sleep no longer came naturally to him.

He sat, rooted in his armchair, staring at the sleeping draught before him.

_To take or not to take?_

Before he made his decision, he briefly wondered how long it would take for him to completely lose his sanity.

Perhaps he already had?

He saw the looks everyone gave him when he insisted that she was still alive; that he would know if she was dead.

The way that smiled condescendingly at him, the way their eyes softened with pity and understanding, as if he were a small child.

But he didn't care.

She couldn't be dead. Not his Alli.

Surely if she was dead he would have died too? He knew he couldn't live without her; what was the point?

It was on that thought when the shrill alarm shot through the house, alerting the Order of the impossible.

'NO!'

Sirius' roar erupted, sounding loudly above the piercing siren.

'NO!' he screamed again as he blasted the door of the living room out of his way and he ran into the hallway, horror and disbelief weighing down each of his limbs and clawing relentlessly at his heart.

He didn't think about the consequences, or consider waiting for backup; instead he apparated immediately to Godrics Hollow, praying the alarm indicating an emergency at the Potter's was false...

* * *

She came to, flinching slightly as she tried to move, and immediately recalled the particularly brutal attack she had been the victim of this time.

_At least there was no Cruciatus curse._

A wave of hopelessness washed over her as she realised what her life had become. How she was thankful for a day with no Cruciatus.

She gently stroked her stomach which had taken on a slightly bloated appearance and sighed with relief, knowing that the baby was safe.

_For now._

She tried to ignore the small voice in the back of her mind, but its truth could not be denied.

The unlocking of the door at the far end of the room quickly distracted her and she tensed her muscles in apprehension.

'Go away' she growled, as soon as Snape entered the room.

'Are you going to comply today?'

He asked the same question each time, and as much as she hated herself a tiny part of her wished she could say yes, wished that she could prevent the inevitable pain she was going to experience, but she could never do that – she would never do that – sighing deeply, she looked defiantly back at him.

'Of course not' she replied.

'Fine' he raised an eyebrow tauntingly 'Crucio'

There wasn't even a second for her to feel rage at his flippant tone before the pain hit her.

She writhed, and screamed, and pleaded under his curse.

Yet a new, strange feeling seemed to wash over her this time.

Though the pain was the same, whilst the familiar burning seared her veins, a tingling sensation began to spread from her fingers and throughout her body.

She felt light, as if she were floating away from reality.

_Was she going mad? Or dying? Was this death?_

When the curse lifted and the pain subsided, the normal relief did not follow.

Instead she let out a cry that created a cacophony of echoes throughout the room.

A cry that accompanied the intense wave of despair and horror that she knew did not belong to her.

_Sirius._

His voice came to her first. The loud wracking sobs tearing from his throat, and his shouts of rage.

She didn't spare a second to think about her surroundings or who she was with. All she could think about was the fact that Sirius was hurting.

So as she relaxed her mind and let herself go to him, she didn't expect the sudden intrusion to burst through her barriers, and when she tried to force him out she couldn't; it was too late.

_**Once again she was incorporeal; she was the wind. She felt the cold night air around her and before her surroundings became clear she revelled in the sensation; in the freedom.**_

_**But it was the cry from below her that brought reality crashing down upon her. **_

_**She saw him sprinting, his face contorted with an agony that flooded into her very own heart.**_

_**And she saw the house.**_

_Their house._

_**Lily's house. **_

_**And she saw the flames flickering from the blasted doorway.**_

_**And she saw the Dark Mark hovering forebodingly in the night sky.**_

_**And she heard the strangled cry of horror emitting from Severus Snape who had latched his mind into her own.**_

_**It was Snape's horror; his immediate reaction to pull away in denial that tore her away from Sirius and back to her own body.**_

She was already screaming when she become fully aware of her return to her body.

She sprung to her feet, her eyes blinding her with tears, and she threw herself towards the man huddled on the floor before her.

She fought against the chains like a wild animal, howls of aguish and rage ripping and snarling from her throat.

Never in her life had she felt such an instinctive need for revenge. The need to _rip _and to _kill._

'YOU!' she screamed, when she was finally able to form words 'YOU DID THIS!'

'No' he breathed, a choked sob escaping from his throat as his eyes, wide and filled with pain, flickered up to meet her own.

'Yes, yes you did' she sobbed, her knees giving way beneath her as her mind fully began to comprehend what had happened; Lily and James were gone.

_Dead._

'SEVERUS?'

A shout, laced in panic, sounded from outside of the door and Snape jumped to his feet just as the door flew open.

'What is it De'Valle?' Snape snapped harshly.

'It's t-the Potter's –'

'I know about that, De'Valle' Snape replied icily cutting him off.

'Y-You know?' Marcus replied, confused.

'That they are dead' Alina only just caught the slight shake to his voice as he spoke.

'But not the child!' Marcus announced, the panic in his tone causing his voice to grow higher in pitch.

'WHAT?' Alina shouted, her head darting up from the ground 'H-Harry's all right?'

She hardly dared to belief the words as she spoke.

'The boy?' Snape repeated, ignoring Alina's words.

'No! That's just it...the Dark Lord...his curse, it rebounded...he – he's gone!' Marcus's voice was full of fear as he spoke, and his eyes darted around the room as if expecting an attack any moment.

'Gone?' Snape's voice was quiet, his tone dangerous.

'Y-Yes! We need to get out of here now before the Aurors arrive! And we need to get her out of here n-'

Before Marcus could finish his sentence, Snape barged past him, sweeping from the room immediately.

There was a brief silence in the room as Alina processed what she had just heard, and Marcus looked around in panic as if searching for a sign as to what he should do, before turning to her with his wand outstretched.

She knew what was going to happen, and she flinched, her hands clutching her stomach in a desperate act of protection.

'Avada – '

She waited for it to happen, and frowned as his words stopped in their tracks. With much uncertainty, she glanced up at him and was shocked as her eyes met his.

His face was twisted with conflict and there was an alien softness to his eyes as he gazed searchingly at her face.

He shook his head gently, letting out a shaky breath.

'Stupify' he muttered, and everything went black.

* * *

Sirius had laughed when the Aurors surrounded him. He had thrown his head back and laughed.

Not the natural kind of laughter that had flown with good humour back in his days at school with the Marauders. It had been harsh, loud, it had been manic. The hysteria of what had just happened before his eyes, the disbelief mixed with the horror had finally grown too much and he snapped.

It was later, when he had been dragged into his cell without a trial and surrounded by Dementors, when the laughter turned into screams.

And it was when his throat had seemingly torn apart his voice box and exhaustion had washed over that the screams turned to sobs.

It could have been days, it could have been minutes, but as the memories swamped over him, suffocating him and drowning him away from reality, he soon became silent. Sitting on the floor, clutching his knees to his chest like a child in the womb, he didn't try to fight. He was dragged below the surface of his world, and into the clutches of his darkest nightmares.

* * *

Blearily, Alina opened her eyes and immediately flinched at the brightness. Squinting, it took a minute before her eyes became focused and she realised that she had been moved.

The entire room was white, and there was something creepy about its brightness.

_Why does it matter?_

The answer was that it didn't. Why did it matter where she was? Lily and James were gone. Dead.

_But Harry's alive._

That minute voice piped up once again, and this time, rather than ignoring it she embraced the thought. She embraced the comfort.

When his fear and anguish entered her soul she almost welcomed it. Ignoring the fact that he was out there hurting it served as a reminder that he was, in fact, out there. He was alive and so was Harry.

This time, instead of her mind being dragged from her body, she pushed herself out. She reached out for his pain, for his agony, and she followed it for a brief moment.

She only had the strength to force herself to him for a second, but that second was enough.

With a gasp she saw him in the cell, she felt the presence of the Dementors and she knew what had happened.

One more life Peter had destroyed.

When she felt herself in her body once again, she felt weak and she felt helpless.

She could feel herself losing him, she had barely seen him for a second before the connection broke, and the thought terrified her.

Nobody stayed sane in Azkaban.

For a while she did not move, instead she stared hopelessly into nothing. There was nothing she could do for him, she could not get to him or help him to escape, they were both trapped in prisons and neither could do anything about it.

_But Harry's out there alone..._

With a deep breath she closed her eyes, and began to chant, she'd keep him sane if it was the last thing she did.

Once again he found himself staring at the image of James' dead body, his eyes eerily vacant.

And then Lily.

And then he watched as Alina disappeared before him; her eyes filled with utter terror.

'_Harry's alive.'_

With a gasp his eyes flew open and he became aware of his whereabouts for the first time in days.

'Alli?'

He almost flinched at the very sound of his own voice, the gruffness sounding utterly foreign to his ears.

'_Peter escaped.'_

Surely his ears were deceiving him? She had been missing for so long; she hadn't been present at all. He thought she had gone.

'_I'm pregnant.'_

No. He had heard her. It was real. She was alive.

_And she's right_

'_Harry's alive. Peter escaped. I'm pregnant.'_

She repeated the words over and over in his mind, and silently he formed the words with his lips, mouthing them too himself.

As he concentrated on them, as he appreciated the truth in them, he found his mind becoming far clearer with each word she uttered.

And soon he began to join her, muttering quietly under his breath his voice joined her own, and the memories no longer consumed him.

'Harry's alive. Peter escaped. Alli's pregnant.'

**THE END!**

** Chapter 1 of the sequel 'Timeless' is already up!**

**A/N: And that is The End to Unconditional! However, as you can see there is clearly a lot left to**** the story and you've been left on a cliff hanger the SEQUEL has already been started and chapter 1 for 'TIMELESS' is already up!**

** I really do hope you've enjoyed the story and that you liked this chapter, I am so sorry for the wait! And I hope you read the sequel i'm excitedly already writing it!**

**Now here's the long bit, I wanted to reply to some reviews here - Thank you so much for them I really do appreciate you all!**

**TWHATT18 – I know, I really hate myself for letting Peter get away with it, but unfortunately I do want to stick to cannon as much as possible and it's necessary to do so for the sequel – I'm sorry! Hope you still enjoyed it though – thanks for the review!**

**PrincessK16 – Thank you for your review! Sorry for keeping you in suspense for so long! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**Sickofmysickness – That's absolutely fine, I'm glad you reviewed in the end! I'm not one to talk I've left it way too long to update but the sequel is already on the way and the first chapter is up! Thank you for your comments!**

**Lilzzyah – I know! I feel the same, I get angry when I write about him! But I guess it's all necessary for the plot! I'm glad you're enjoying it though!**

**Im-a-metamorphmagusXD – I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, the first chapter for the sequel is up now!**

**LillyLupinXD – Oh I completely agree! It's been the first thing I've written ever and I'm learning all about Mary Sue characters and what to do and not to do, and this has been such a learning curb for me! Hopefully I'll improve as I go on and I'm glad you're still enjoying the story!**

**98 – Thank you for all the reviews! I'm afraid the sequel will tell you what happens to Alina and the baby!**

**Reeba123 - Thank you! I passed all my exams thanks for the well wishes, and the chapter 1 of the sequel is up now!**

**HGromanticsap – I'm glad you enjoyed it, I hope you liked this chapter too! The sequel is up now and I hope you go on to read that too!**

**Dreamwalker-Bibliophile - Most of the story is trying to stick to canon however there will be changes in the sequel but you'll have to wait for that :D!**

**Luli Cullen – I hope you enjoyed the chapter! The sequel is up so I hope you enjoy that too!**

**Spannieren – Thank you for all your reviews! I hope you read the sequel and enjoy!**

**Dreamsb223 – I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!**

**And to those who have the story on alert, or as a favourite and haven't reviewed, thank you for reading and I really hope you've enjoyed the story!**


	52. LINK TO SEQUEL! 'TIMELESS'

**A/N: I've been told that some people have had trouble finding 'Timeless' so am just posting a link for the story here**

** s/7195589/1/Timeless**

**I hope you enjoy it and thank you for all of your support!**


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